Transcription
You don't need a dungeon, a checklist,
or six hours to create an amazing scene
tonight. I'm Alisandra from Dom Living,
and I'm giving you five ideas you can
actually use right now. Let's make this
easy. Welcome to the Dom Living podcast.
Look, some nights you're hyped up and
you're ready to plan a whole elaborate
fantasy, but other nights you just kind
of want to have something simple that
still feels hot, connected, but real.
And it's not about having fancy,
expensive equipment. It's about the
energy you bring. So, today I'm sharing
five fun scene ideas you can try. And
seriously, idea number three that I'm
going to share, it's the simplest thing
ever, but it completely changed how my
dom and I connect. So, I'll tell you
about it in a sec. But grab a notebook
or just keep some mental notes. And I'd
love to know which idea are you going to
steal tonight. So, definitely let me
know afterwards. So, scene idea number
one is the voice only command scene. So,
this is where there is no touching, um,
no really looking at each other, just
obedience really. So, it's just the
Dom's voice guiding the sub, teasing
them, controlling them. So, how would
that completely change the energy
between you and your partner? So this
scene is about pure anticipation release
because instead of overwhelming the
senses, you just kind of strip
everything away except the sound of
command. And it forces a different kind
of surrender, almost a deeper kind
because you can't rely on touch. You
can't rely on looks or even just little
gestures. You have to just literally
listen and obey. So, you can keep this
super simple where maybe you're just
sitting across from each other, just a
few feet away, but still no touching,
just only listening. Um, or you can go
even bigger where the submissive maybe
starts off on their knees with their
eyes cast down. Um, and the dom just
kind of sits back in a chair even and
just instructs from there, never really
having to lift a finger. Um, or you can
be on two different ends of the room
together and it just makes it so every
word that the Dom says is even heavier.
But that having that distance between
you can just make the impact so much
more stronger. But this is a great way
for doms who are maybe new to the scene
and don't really know how to wield
something like a foggger and they can
just start off with commands. So I like
to actually think of this one as kind of
like a kinky Simon says. So some things
the the dom can tell their sub is to
hold a position until they say
otherwise. um telling them to look down
and that they're not allowed to make eye
contact with the dom. They can say
something like, "Describe how much you
love me touching you, but you're not
allowed to move a single muscle." Um or,
"Tell me exactly what you want me to do
to you, and maybe if you beg hard
enough, I'll actually consider it." So
during this Kinky Simon says, there's so
many different directions you can take
with this. But the reason this type of
scene is so powerful is because it's not
just for in-person play either. It's
amazing for long-distance dynamics, too.
My dom actually had to work um for a
while in the Bay Area. Um we live in LA
now, but during the week we're apart.
And so this is one way we were still
able to have scenes with either doing it
over phone or even Zoom. He was able to
instruct me to tell me to kneel. Um
there was no touching obviously, but um
I wasn't even speaking really. I was
just listening to his every word. So he
would tell me to hold different
positions or to touch myself in a
certain way. But the crazy thing was
that even though we weren't together
physically, there was just this strong
connection. And every single second that
maybe I held a position or something
like that, it just felt like a thousand
times longer than if we were in in
person together doing these things. So,
um, it just really shows the pleasure
that can come from just waiting and the
anticipation in not being able to touch
each other. So, if you're not physically
together because of maybe distance or
work, don't even worry about it. You can
do this type of scene over a voice
message, a phone call, or even through
texting even. So, you can send each
other voice notes. You can say things
like, you know, strip down for me and
wait for my next command or stand in
front of the mirror and imagine my hands
on your body because seriously, the
brain kind of fills in what the hands
can't reach. There's a lot of power in
imagination. You definitely don't need
to be in the same room to make it hot.
You just need the right words. So, if
you're a sub, could you handle hearing
your dom's voice like that? just having
that temptation kind of weaving through
every word and having to stay completely
perfectly still and and not move until
you're given permission or would you
break? Sometimes that's the fun of it,
too. And if you think this kind of scene
is intense, just wait until you hear
what's coming up next. So, my second
scene idea that you can try tonight is
sensory deprivation. So imagine being
blindfolded and just every single touch,
even the air on your skin just feels so
much more intense because you can't see
what's coming. You can't predict the
next touch. You're just totally wide
open, but in the most delicious way. But
sensory deprivation, it isn't just about
taking something away. That's how a lot
of people think about it. But it's
really actually about making everything
else more intense and louder. So touch,
sound, scent, even the feeling of breath
against your skin, all of it just
becomes more magnified when you can
really just you can't rely on your your
sight to process what's happening. You
have to rely on your other senses. And
the best part about this is you don't
need any fancy expensive gear. You can
grab just a scarf um and tie that around
your head. You can use a sleep mask even
um or even just close your eyes. Having
the dom instruct the submissive to keep
their eyes closed and agree to not open
them until they're told. It's really
just the simplicity that makes this so
powerful. So, you could start off really
soft and easy, um, like I said, with a
blindfold with your partner and then
tease them with something like a a
feather or a piece of fabric and or even
a Wartenberg wheel if you do have that
um tool, but just barely brushing their
skin and then just watching them shiver
and get goosebumps is just the coolest
thing. Or you can go colder, even
literally. You can drag an ice cube
slowly down their neck, across their
ribs, especially if they're ticklish,
down the inside of their thigh. Um, and
they will just not know what's coming
next or when. And if you really want to
turn up the tension, the Dom can whisper
commands into the sub's ear while
they're being blindfold and using either
something like the Whartonberg wheel or
an ice cube. So, the Dom can maybe
describe every sensation before it
actually happens. And this kind of lets
the submissive's mind kind of spin the
story before their body even experiences
it. But one of the main reasons for me
why I love having a blindfold on so much
is because I actually deal with a lot of
body insecurity. Um I'm really really
anxious in my own skin a lot of the
times. Um I have a lot of traumas and
things like that. So I have a hard time
staying out of my head. And so when my
dom has me wear a blindfold, I don't
have to see my body and nitpick all the
things I don't like about it. It just
allows me to feel and stay in the
moment. And I'm not worrying, does he
like this? How do I look? I don't like
this. I wish this was different about
me. And so that way he can just enjoy my
body. And like he always tells me, my
body is for him to enjoy and I don't
even have to like it. So, I just love
having the blindfold because it's just
helped me to enjoy the scenes so much
more deeply because I'm not worrying in
the back of my mind, what do I look like
or I wish I looked different. So if you
do want to take away sight in your next
scene, um think about some new ways you
could explore touch. So whether that is
with a Wartenberg wheel or an ice cube,
but also think about um what ways you
could explore even sound or smell or
taste even. So there's so many different
ways you can explore sensory deprivation
and adding back in the intensity of the
other senses. And if you want to make
this type of scene even spicier, you can
try something like ear plagues, too.
Because when both sight and sound are
gone, you're creating a total sensory
drop. So your partner or or you will
just feel everything like 10 times more
intensely because the the brain doesn't
know where to focus. So, it just kind of
shrinks everything down and you're
really just focusing on whatever sense
you are focusing on in the moment. And
now, let's move on to idea number three.
And this is honestly the sneakiest one
because you can weave it right into
everyday life and no one around you
would even know it's happening. You
could be creating a full BDSM scene
without anyone suspecting a thing. So
scene idea number three is the service
task ritual. Because sometimes the most
powerful BDSM scenes, they aren't about
pain or impact. And they're not even
really about physical pleasure either.
They're about service and devotion and
creating a quiet moment where the
submissive is serving the dom and the
dom is taking care of their sub. So,
this is about one partner giving and the
other receiving. And it's a way to say,
"I see you. I honor you. I appreciate
you." Um, so this kind of servicing can
be just as intense and honestly just as
erotic as anything that happens in the
dungeon. Service rituals are some of my
favorite type of scenes to do because
they are just so beautiful because they
turn these ordinary moments into
extraordinary acts of submission or
dominance. They really create layers in
your dynamic. These just little tiny
gestures that carry enormous weight even
when no one else would even notice. So
you can start completely small. So, make
your partner their favorite drink, but
don't just hand it to them. So, present
it. You can even kneel if you're at home
and no one's around. Um, just, you know,
using both your hands, lowering your
eyes, and just offering it up almost
like it's a treasure to your partner.
One super common way to do this in the
kink scene is maybe where the submissive
um shines the shoes of the dom and they
just kind of do it, you know, really
perfectly and purposefully where they're
polishing, buffing and maybe presenting
them neatly by the door and just, you
know, with every swipe of the cloth
they're just thinking about their
service to their dominant. So in the
lifestyle we call that type of scene
boot blacking. Um it can also involve
boot licking. Um but it can be a lot of
fun for people that want to explore
that. And then speaking of shoes, you
can even move on to feet and you can do
a whole foot scene even where you you
give your partner a foot massage and
just really worship every inch of their
feet. Or you can keep it even simpler
where the submissive presents themselves
instead. So this is where they kind of
maybe kneel in their favorite position
with their palms open and just kind of
waiting giving themselves as a living
offering or the the dom can even inspect
them too like their their property. Um
so you can really go simple with this or
um elaborate even more.
Um, speaking of using a submissive's
body, doms can also use their
submissives as furniture, even as a a
foot stool or using them to, you know,
hold their favorite drink, um, hold the
book for them, even um, using them as a
chair. Um, so you can take these kind of
service protocols and just turn them
into a whole scene. But my do and I like
to do these types of scenes around
dinner. That just makes it really easy
if the kids are out of the house or
they're at a friend's house. I will just
go into fulltime servant mode for my
dom. Um he'll even a lot of times have
me strip completely down. He'll have me
take off all of my clothes and I will
just serve him his favorite drink. I'll
serve him a the meal and I will wait for
him to eat before I eat. A lot of times
I will even eat on the floor beside him
and then when we're done eating I take
the plates I I clear the cups and
everything and then I am just in this
you know service mode for the rest of
the night. And this is just a neat way
to have a a scene that's not a typical
scene that you would have maybe at a
dungeon or in your bedroom. Because how
would it feel to you if you could turn a
small everyday act like something like
having dinner and you can turn it into a
sacred moment of devotion and power. But
if you want to take something like this
even deeper, you can layer in other
rituals. So maybe you kneel every time
you offer something. Maybe you add an
honorific. Like I do this when I make my
mom's coffee in the morning. when I
present it to them, um, you know, I tell
them, "Here's your coffee, sir." You
could create a little bow or a phrase
that you use during access service,
something that feels secret just between
the two of you that maybe you can even
do when other people are around. You can
even create a a serviceonly playlist.
Um, it can be like soft background music
you do every time you perform these
different acts of devotion. So, it's
kind of like the Paplo's dog thing where
every time you hear it, then you get
into that that service headsp space. Um,
and it really just takes you back there.
Um, another way you can have a a type of
service scene, um, if you're doing this
at bedtime, maybe you have a busy
schedule and you have to work the next
day, but the the sub can set up
everything that the dom needs for bed,
um, their clothes, their their
toiletries. the sub could set up the bed
and just kneel and wait and not get in
bed until they're given permission. So,
those are some of my favorite ways to
incorporate service into a scene. But,
if you're craving something a little
less solemn and a lot more mischievous,
idea number four that I have is going to
be some playful trouble for you. because
honestly it's one of the most fun ways
to brat while still keeping the dynamic
really deeply connected. So scene idea
number four is punishment games or
punishments. So, if you have a lot of
brat energy or you want to explore
playful discipline, this is for you
because sometimes you don't need a heavy
serious punishment scene to really feel
connected or to even feel like you're
doing BDSM. You just need a little bit
of mischief, a little bit of teasing,
and a lot of delicious consequences.
Punishment games are the perfect way to
weave playfulness into your dynamic
without losing that sense of structure,
um, dominance or submission in a typical
BDSM scene. So, setting this up is
actually super easy, and honestly, half
the fun is coming up with the rules
together. So, here's how you can do it.
You can write down a bunch of playful
infractions on a piece of paper. So
things like talking back, rolling your
eyes. I mean, I do that a lot with my
dom. Um, forgetting to say an honorific,
so forgetting to call your partner um,
sir or daddy or mommy, something like
that. Then you would write out matching
punishments. And these would be fun
ones, so not nothing super harsh. And
then you would just pull a random piece
of paper whenever the sub breaks a rule.
Um, or you can make it more structured
and roll a dice to decide what the
punishment severity would be. And this
turns every little bratty moment into an
opportunity for connection and a little
chaos. So, some ideas to get you
started. So, you can do something like
five spankings for bratty behavior. Um,
two minutes of kneeling in the corner if
a submissive forgets a rule. having to
write lines um with a crayon um speaking
only in yes sir or yes ma'am for you
know 10 minutes. You can set a timer um
and and no matter what is asked of the
sub they have to respond that way. Um
but you can keep this as super light and
playful and spicy as you want or you can
go even more hardcore but whatever fits
your energy that night. And one time
when the kids were gone with my mom for
the whole day, my my dom decided to
implement a a no whining rule for the
whole day because sometimes when I'm
getting a little little or bratty, I
tend to whine a lot. So he made this
rule that I couldn't whine for the whole
day. And every time I whine, you know,
about something small, sometimes I get
frustrated because I can't open a jar
and I I whine or something or having to
do chores. So, anytime I whine, I lost a
piece of clothing. And let's just say
this game didn't last very long. I think
we made it a couple hours and I was
basically in nothing but my socks
because honestly, I I like to whine a
lot. But those are the play sessions
that you will remember forever. Me and
him still talk about it. I'm talking
about it right now with you. Um, we
remember these things not because they
were perfectly planned. We weren't at
this elaborate dungeon with all these
fggers and paddles, but it was just us
being playful and incorporating kink.
But if you really want to level this
type of scene up, you can even create a
a punishment book. And every time the
sub breaks a rule, it gets written down.
You put the date, the infraction, what
punishment was assigned. And you can
build up longer term consequences if you
want to. So maybe, you know, five
infractions in a week earns a bigger
punishment. Um, or maybe you just it
gives you a a fun way to record all the
times that the the sub was misbehaving.
Um, but we kind of do this. We've done a
calendar before where um, you know, if I
my dom is trying to train me with
something. Um, if I have a good day,
maybe I get a sticker. Um, or if not, I
get a big X on the calendar and then I
would either get a re reward or a
punishment. And um it's just something
to keep it light and fun. But if you're
craving something a little more
emotionally intense, um my fifth idea is
going to give you exactly what you want.
And it's all about trust and surrender
and feeling completely held. Um, so
scene idea number five, well actually
wait after scene idea number five
because I have a bonus one too, but
scene idea number five is sensual
restraint and praise. So if you're going
to explore this, tonight might be the
night to just be completely held um not
just in your body but in your your heart
and your soul too. So sometimes the
deepest surrender doesn't come from pain
or impact. It comes from feeling totally
safe, from being wrapped up, being
restrained, being claimed, and even
being adored and woripped all at once.
And you don't need elaborate rigging or
intense gear to really create this
feeling. You could simply just tie your
partner's hands above their heads with
maybe a a neck tie or a soft scarf and
just, you know, making their body feel
really open and exposed and vulnerable
at this, you know, same time as feeling
safe and cherished still. Or you can
even take this as subtle as you want.
Um, you know, even using your own hands
to restrain your partner. um you know,
holding them down and keeping them
still, maybe just using your body weight
to weigh them down and just whispering
words in their ear. Or if you want to
build a longer scene around this, you
can create a simple rope harness um that
really just focuses on containment. So
something around the chest or around the
hips. Um so nothing, you know, painful,
just being snug and grounded. Um, and
just having that pressure that says, you
know, you belong to me and you're you're
safe here. So, kind of think about how
we swaddle babies. So, it it's the same
concept. And then you can start layering
praise into this because, you know,
imagine this. You're completely
restrained. You're completely open. And
instead of teasing or hurting you and
causing you pain, you just hear this
soft, steady voice in your your ear
telling you, you know, you're mine. You
you're perfect like this. You're you're
safe. You're you're loved. I appreciate
you. Because when when you're
restrained, words have more weight. Um
every praise just sinks deeper. You're
more receptive to hearing it. um every
reassurance just lands harder um because
you have nowhere to to run. Um so you
just have this deeper trust that you
experience and I actually experienced
this recently. There there was a a night
that I had last week. It was just after
a really tough and rough week. Um I had
just done the Dom Dynamics virtual
summit and it was a lot of work. It was
so worth it. We had so much fun. But at
the end of it, I was just feeling so
exhausted and drained and and raw. And I
was just kind of losing myself. And my
picked up on it. And before we started
our scene, he just asked me one simple
question. He asked me, you know, for our
scene tonight, how do you want to feel?
And I told him I wanted to feel safe. I
wanted to feel seen and held and
cherished. Um, you know, I'm a huge
massochist. I've shared that before with
you. And but in this moment, that wasn't
what I was needing or wanting. So, he
took the time to really restrain me
gently. Um, nothing intense, just enough
to really keep me still. And then he
spent what felt like forever just
running his hands over my skin. No pain,
no force, just touch. He did end up
using the flogger on me, but just really
using it super light, just using the
tails to just really caress over my
body. Um, you know, he would lean over
me and and whisper in my ear just over
and over how proud he was of me, how
much he loved me, how much he valued the
trust I was giving him in that moment
during the scene. And at the end of it,
I I cried, but I didn't, you know, cry
from the pain like I maybe normally
would have during the scene, but I I
cried from the relief, from finally
feeling safe enough to really just
completely let go. So, my question to
you is, when was the last time you felt
completely safe, um, completely seen? Um
or if you're the dom, when was the last
time you created a space like that for
someone um you know, seeing someone not
for what you know they could do, but
just simply for who they are. But if you
want to deepen this type of scene even
more, you can do things like adding soft
background music, um something slow and
ambient and calming. You can, you know,
put in that, you know, touch, you know,
when you're restrained. um fingertips,
um feathers or you know the tail ends of
the foggger like my dom did. And that
way you're you're building the body's
sensitivity um while the mind still
sinks deeper into surrender. Um it's all
about building layers of feeling. Um so
things like security, anticipation,
pleasure. And if that kind of deep,
intense surrender speaks to you, you're
going to love the bonus idea I have that
I'm going to share with you right now
because it is one of my favorite quick
scene ideas to create instant intensity
even if you don't have a lot of time
tonight. So, if you made it this far,
here's your bonus scene idea. So, this
is the fiveinut scene challenge. So,
it's where a scene will have a clear
beginning, middle, and end. um you just
go big or go home. Um it can be playful
or sweet, however you want it. But the
point is you just do it. So some
examples are a five minute impact scene,
a five minute service scene, a five
minute restraint and praise scene, but
the point is you just do this scene for
five minutes because one of my favorite
quick scenes we had was only five
minutes. The kids were going to come
home from a friend's house just around
the corner. So, we literally only had 5
minutes. So, my Dom actually set a timer
and he just, you know, told me for these
next five minutes, you're mine. And he
pinned me against the wall. He told me
what to do. Um, you know, we we did our
our quick scene and the timer went off
and I was still in the heat of it and it
just ended so abruptly. I was just so on
edge. But he was like, "Okay, that's
enough." and just kind of pat patted me
on the butt and let me go, but it just
always still plays in my mind as one of
my favorite scenes. So, that is
something you can do where you just set
a timer and you just go and you have
fun. So, today you've got five plus one
ways to make your BDSM scenes hotter,
easier, and way more connected without
needing hours of planning. I'm so
excited for you. Now, of course, if you
want the worksheets for putting all of
these scenes together, go ahead and log
into our scene creation mastery course
at
domsubliving.com/ community if you're
not a member of that course yet. In the
description for this episode, I'm going
to put a link to join. It's only $9 at
the time of this recording. And the best
part is when you log into
domsubliving.com/ community after
purchasing, you can go to the course. We
have a whole training on how to
troubleshoot a scene even and a whole
Q&A session with questions about real
life scenes. Again, it's only $9 right
now and how I'll have a link for it in
the description, too. But tell me in the
comments which of the five scenes are
you stealing first. And if you want more
step-by-step scene guides and kinky
ideas, subscribe to this podcast and
check out the link to that course below
because you deserve a night that doesn't
just feel good, it feels unforgettable.
But until next time, keep embracing your
power and pleasure through doms of
living.