Transcription
This conversation starts calm and then everything shifts. Let's break it down on choir immediately.
>> Hey, Mr. Samuels.
>> How are you?
>> I'm good. I'm sorry about earlier. I was at dinner and I didn't expect you to pick me.
>> Okay. Um, go ahead.
>> Okay. So, your question earlier was, do I think it's time to give up?
>> Give up the dream. Mhm.
>> Give up a dream. Um, I don't think so. Well, I don't think a person should ever give up on a dream because it may not manifest in your timing. So, I think that a person should just stay consistent and then things will happen in divine order.
>> How old are you? How old are you?
>> 29.
>> What are you a Christian?
>> Um, I'm a believer.
>> Okay. So where is all this manifest in divine order coming? Where does that come from?
>> Um so Mr. Samuel that comes from my experience. So I mean I I get what you're
>> You don't have to call me. You can call me Kevin. You can call me Kevin. It's fine.
>> Okay. So Kevin, I get why you're asking me about like the Christian belief because typically Christians would say, you know, there's power in the tongue and
>> No, what I'm saying is this manifest and divine order, divine divinity is a is a higher spiritual power. See, those words sound, they tickle your ears and they feel good to your ego. But what where is it coming from?
>> Well, I I I do have a Christian foundation. So I was born and raised Christian. Yes. But I was raised I was raised in a Christian church and there was no talking about manifestation. There was talk about work. Faith without works is dead.
>> I agree.
>> So but but do you though? Because you said you don't believe a person should give up on a dream. So you don't think a person should ever give up on a dream?
>> Wait. Well, so back to what you said. Yes, sir. I feel that if a person is, like I said, if they're being consistent, then I feel like whatever they whatever their goal is, I feel that they should receive the results. If you're being
>> Tell me what Okay, don't tell me what you feel. Tell me what you think.
>> What I think. So, from my experience, um, with the goals that I had set for myself, I failed. Some goals I just didn't follow through with because I was inconsistent or I didn't
>> Okay. Well, if I if I wanted to have a goal of playing in the NBA,
>> it's my dream to be in the NBA.
>> Okay.
>> I could get there.
>> I think that I believe if you if you put the work in
>> ma'am, see this is don't don't do typical need to be right. Don't don't diminish yourself like that. Don't do that in front of millions of people. You think I could get to the NBA, ma'am? Tell me what. Did you go to college?
>> Yes, sir. Well, I guess I have that belief because I
>> No, no, ma'am. No. Did you go to college?
>> Yes, sir.
>> Did you complete it?
>> Yes, sir.
>> You don't have to call me sir. You don't have to call me sir.
>> Okay.
>> But I'm 53. Tell me that I could make it to the NBA if I if I continue to be consistent.
>> Okay. At 53, no. [laughter]
>> Okay. So, there is a point in time where logic kicks in. Why is that so hard? Why is that so hard to just admit?
>> Um, I
>> I'm 53 years old. You can see just wearing my beard and you went all the way around the world to know.
>> And this is why men say y'all are delusional because y'all are sitting there and be looking at the truth right in front of you, but you won't acknowledge it. Why do you need to believe so hard that if you just focus? Why do you need to believe that your dreams will come true?
>> Wait, can you repeat that?
>> Why do you need to believe this? Why do you need to believe this?
>> Why do I need to believe that my dreams will come true?
>> Well, I need to believe it for myself in order for it to happen.
>> What's the difference between dream and fantasy?
>> Dream and fantasy. A dream is something that a fantasy is something that may not come true and a dream is something that there's a possibility.
>> No, no, I need I need it more concrete.
>> Um, a fantasy is something that a person would um would um I don't know actually
>> you don't know the uh
>> I don't know the difference between a dream and fantasy. Mhm.
>> I think people use those
>> activity of imagining things, especially things that are impossible or improbable. So, it's imagining things that are impossible or improbable. That's a fantasy.
>> Okay.
>> Many today's dreams are really fantasies called dreams.
>> Gotcha. telling me that I could get into the NFL would be a fantasy. It's very improbable. So, the difference is the probability is at what point do you think the numbers dictate you should give up on a dream because it becomes a fantasy?
>> Out of 100%.
>> Out of 100%.
>> Out of 100%. Did you say, "Okay, I got a 90% chance or a 95% chance, but 80% chance, but when it's below this, it's it's enough for me to give up on." What is that number? I would say okay well I I feel like it depends but um I could pick an age I would say in the late 50s
>> late 50 so okay so what we're talking about is women giving up on this fantasy Man, at what point do you think a woman should accept the man that's in front of her, the average boring guy?
>> Um, I would say I don't know, Mr. Samuels, because it depends because I want to say, but I know a lot of 50-y old women that talking about 50-y old men. I'm not talking about 50 year old. I'm just talking about women in general. At what age do you Okay. The problem is black women in particular. Y'all are already marrying at a one in four rate. And that's with the baby boomers and Gen X. You're 30. How old? 29.
>> 29.
>> Millennials. Y'all are marrying at less than a 20% rate. And if you watch my show, you'll see that most women want the same kind of man.
>> We all can't have him.
>> You're right.
>> So, when do you accept the fact that you ex when should a woman who's average accept an average man?
>> 35.
>> Why should she not accept that 22 with her average ass? Why should she wait till 35? Is she going to become less average or she gonna become more average as she ages?
>> More average. I think I'm that I get I get where you're going this with the [laughter] I get I get it now. I was listen earlier. I had so much to say. I get where you're going.
>> Yeah. Logic is a [ __ ]
>> I get it. I'm laughing so hard because I was like, I can't wait to get on there because I have this point and that point, but I get what you're saying because I feel like for myself years old, I have no children, you know, I'm single. I was a teacher. I'm train. I have like you a head on my shoulders, right?
>> And I feel like a little I don't want to settle, but a little bit of me feels as if I'm waiting on this this fantasy this fantasy guy. Well, let but ask yourself a question. You don't have any children.
>> No, sir.
>> Okay, you don't have to call me, sir. But you think about the man that could meet your standard. The man that does it for you. [laughter] Okay, but but you need to ask yourself, if he can meet your high standard, he can meet a lot of women's standards.
>> I know.
>> Then he can only pick one.
>> You're right. What happens to the rest if he doesn't pick? Wait for the another diamond. That's why I'm laughing. At 29, at what age do you just tell a woman to say, you know, stop trying to get something that's out of your range?
>> You're right. You're absolutely right.
>> I know I'm right. I know I'm right. But but why is it that women seem to be so repulsed by this idea? I don't know. And I I can tell you that's [clears throat] a little that's my reality. Um but I have I have the logic in the back of my mind. Makes sense. I'm still maneuvering through life.
>> What did you go to college for?
>> I'm sorry.
>> What did you go to college for? [laughter]
>> So I majored in sociology. Um but
>> don't do that. Mr. Samuels, give me a break. No, it's one of them trash ass. Did you if you didn't go to I mean, you know what I'm going to say
>> what's your what's your profession?
>> I'm a teacher.
>> Okay. So your nonblack teacher counterparts are they married?
>> Yes.
>> Your black teacher counterparts, are they single?
>> The older one. Yes.
>> Cuz you cannot make a living on a teacher's salary,
>> which is why I'm transition I've made a transition into it at March. Right.
>> You make a transition into hubby. [laughter]
>> You're right. I want you to understand that you had a profession where you were teaching other people's children, but instead you did exactly what the world told you to go and become a man to go make more money. Is that going to change your marital prospects?
>> No, I don't think it's going to change that, Mr. Samuel. I just feel like you said, I watch your I watch your often. I able to take care of myself just in case I don't meet that guy like I want to take care of.
>> What do you mean that guy? It is not that guy. A guy.
>> A guy.
>> Okay, dear. An average man gives you options.
>> When you have the flu, you got to take care of yourself right now. When you have the flu and you got an average $21 an hour man in the house, he can take care of you.
>> You're right.
>> You also got another extended family and cousins and everything else. An above average man gives you freedom. A job gives you money and not a lot of it. And it can't replace a man. No amount of money can replace somebody giving you a thermometer and some juice.
>> But wait, Mr. Sam, it's not that a relationship. And I'm not like the type of girl that wants this high value man, right? I'm not that girl. I think it's just it's done. Like I watch your show often like hard to find like a regular guy that has similar core values. Like it's rare.
>> What? What state you in?
>> I'm in Florida. I'm in S, Florida.
>> Well, first of all, you said your non-black counterparts who are teachers don't seem to have a problem finding men. So, 54% of black men are single and childless, 61% in the middle class. There are plenty of average men out there looking for wives. Because y'all say they marry white women and Hispanic women and everything. If they can marry them, they can marry you. Are you looking for an average man?
>> Um,
>> no.
>> I think No, no, no, no. Mr. Samuel, listen. I think that my real Absolutely. I think realistic with you.
>> You think your standards are realistic? You said your standards.
>> Yes, sir. I really believe that. I don't think I'm looking for anything that's just so extreme. Like,
>> how many kids would you like to have?
>> Um, I'm open. You know, whatever God bless me to have, fine. But take care of me thing. How many kids do you want to have?
>> Um, I would say three.
>> Three. When you're married and pregnant with the first child, do you want to have to work when you're pregnant? Um if our circumstance
>> ma'am I ask when you're married and pregnant.
>> No sir you want to have to work. You don't when you have your third child do you want to what percentage of the family financial bills do you want to have to be responsible for for a lifetime with the three kids? Meaning if you don't make the money [clears throat] it's not there.
>> What percentage? Um, I would like to contribute to the household. I don't know how to answer that.
>> I said, "Okay. Do you want your children to be able to go to college if they want to?"
>> Um, yes, sir.
>> So, you want to be able to pay for that? Uh, would you like to be able to travel uh domestically or internationally with the family?
>> Both.
>> Okay. All right. What kind of household income do you think you're going to need to have three children and an upper middle class, lower upper class lifestyle? What kind of annual income?
>> Um, I would say definitely not teacher salary.
>> I know that. Um, so
>> ma'am, it's if you're in Florida, it's a little bit of $325,000 on the low end. Say it again, Mr.
>> $300,000. You want $1.5 million in kids. So, yes, ma'am, you do want a high value man. You want a man who is making over six figures, well over six figures. Soon as you said, I don't want to have to work to pay significant bills. I thought I'm pregnant. That is a luxury reserve for the top 10% of women. You don't want to have to. You may want to homeschool your kids, but you don't want to have to go punch a clock. You want your kids to have college. That means you gotta pay for the home, the retirement, and then have surplus to pay for the kids' college, then have surplus to travel internationally. Man, that's a rich man. And the first thing you said, I can't find a man my age. What kind of man your age is making that kind of money? Men don't start making that money till around 45 to 55. Your husband at that level is in his 40s. Do you want to date a man? Do you want to marry a man who's 45 plus?
>> I don't mind. Like I said, Mrs.
>> But then why are you looking for men your age?
>> I guess because I've dated and I feel that lively. You know what I mean?
>> You said live. Would you say lively?
>> Yeah. I feel just because sometimes you get older men and they just want to go to the cigar lounge or go golfing or
>> Yeah, it's called being responsible
>> responsible. No, it's what did I said last night, gentle folks? I told you modern women need to give up need to cancel HBO happiness. They need to stop worrying about being bored and stop being overly optimistic. Life is boring, sweetheart. See what y'all want is you want men who are in the top 3% of all earners. You want them to be physically attractive, good in bad. You want them to be a around your age and then you want them to live an exciting life.
>> Mr. Samuels, can I just answer quickly? I'm not saying that we have the club and get a section. We have I'm not saying that. thing is I want to be able to do things that are fun. I'm
>> It's called It's called pay the light bill. That's what's fun. [ __ ] fun. You're almost 30 years old talking like a teenager. And this is why this is why Stop stop. This is why I'm gonna start getting hardcore. You should be out of that fa Stop. You should be out of that phase of life. That was You should have been out of that phase by 23. It's over.
>> It's over. It's been over. Your co your your colleagues are not going to the club on the weekend. They got they got they got prince birthday parties.
>> I understand. I wasn't saying that that was my interest. I was just saying that I just want Sometimes if you date a younger guy, they're on the other end of the spectrum and they're far far far on the other.
>> Dating younger guys is stupid for a woman that wants a family. All you can do is have sex and party with these dudes.
>> Exactly. So I guess
>> but you're judging But you're judging a relationship based on fun. Man, this is a black This is part of the problem in black America. Black women, you want it all.
>> I know.
>> And this is why this and it sounds you say you don't want a high value man. You want an elite high value man. And then you want to have fun. Man, this is what you just said. You're making it sound so
>> I'm not I'm not making this It is bad. It is bad because at 29 years old, you have wasted the last six years dating age inappropriate men and and picking the wrong thing. Pick the boring guy. Pick the stable guy. Why do you think life is supposed to You are supposed to be his entertainment. He's not supposed to be Guys, what did I say last night? You might as well have a joystick hanging off your dick. You're supposed to be that video game. We're supposed to keep them entertained. We're not your [ __ ] entertainment. You're our wife.
>> Okay.
>> You're my [ __ ] entertainment.
>> No, I I promise you. I get it. And I that's
>> You say that now because you know I'm old enough and can call those shots. But the man who can really tell you this, you ain't trying to hear that [ __ ] from a 20 a 32 or 33 year old man should be able to tell you to [ __ ] dance. And you should say, "What the [ __ ] man? I mean, why do you think about it? You seem to be a pleasant woman, but don't you notice there's something wrong when you see all your non-black colleagues who are teachers married and then the black woman single as fuck?"
>> Listen, I think about it all the time. I'm like, because I'm I was an English teacher and I'm like, in my department, I'm the youngest one. I got a nice shave, you know, and I see the other women. I'm like,
>> what did you do this weekend? What did you do last weekend? What you do last weekend?
>> I went to the Maxwell concert in Atlanta.
>> What did you do weekend before that?
>> So, I just graduated the IT program. So, I was I celebrated at the Maxwell concert. So, the week prior I was doing
>> I was in Miami uh week before last and I saw so many black women over 25 celebrating spring break. Y'all need to grow up. All y'all need to grow up because here's the reality. Here's a hardcore reality.
>> It is.
>> Get your ITO, do whatever, whatever. But then when there's a man who's making above average money, decent money, but not rich, she making $50, $60,000, and he's looking for a wife, would you be upset if he decided to go get a non-black woman and start a family because he because the women you and your friends are aren't aren't y'all ain't there yet.
>> Mrs.
>> and he can't and here's the thing. And he can't wait and he can't go searching around to find another one. He needs to go ahead and start a family. Would you would you be supportive of saying black man get you a white woman?
>> To my core, I wouldn't feel that way. I don't I don't want our our brothers to do that, right? But I do feel like
>> then how do we get anywhere with women like you?
>> Mr. Sam, don't say it like that.
>> Ma'am, I have to say it like that for the men.
>> You're right. I respect.
>> Don't need to start thinking this. I mean, what? [clears throat] See, you don't know what you don't want to say it for. You don't want to see it for the black women. You're not worried about the black race. You're worried about black women. The race will continue if we have wives. It won't continue if y'all don't get married and make families. So when the men are ready to look for wives, if you and women like you are at the Maxwell concert in school, do that. Do that. But then you got to you have to support that black man. man, him a white woman. You better throw him a Tupperware party, a bridal shower, and you better and then when he comes to school with his kids, you better teach him just like, "Hey, how you doing, little Timmy?" or
>> No, little white girl named Kesha. And you better be just as nice to her. Yeah,
>> Mrs. Samuel, I want to tell you this because I don't know the call is going to go short, but when I tell you I didn't at a young age, right? So when I tell you when your came out like the harsh reality it I listen to it I was in the restaurant and I'm like I got to hear I got to hear and says it but it's necessary. It really is necessary. So appreciate you for you know tonight. I feel like that fantasy piece I need to kind of drip out of my brain and settle in.
>> You're breaking in and out. You're breaking in out. But y'all need to start really I mean this is one one little piece but I'm telling you millennials and zenial men, they're not waiting.
>> We live shorter than y'all. We don't have time to wait. So, all right. Have a good one. Go on back in. Bye bye. Thank you.
>> All right. Yeah. I mean, see, that's why I want you guys to understand a lot of these women don't they're not doing this stuff maliciously. They're just going on a programming they've been given. And the thing is like, well, well, no. I I don't want the race to die. Well, damn. What What
>> I'm going to respond to the frustration, but I'm not going to attack a whole group of women. First off, the math point. On the surface, yeah, two people earning $55,000 each is obviously stronger financially than one person earning $55,000 alone. Dual income absolutely changes lifestyle options. That's just arithmetic. But relationships aren't spreadsheets.