Transcription
Now, these people that live this life, do they have something they're working towards? Do they have an idea that they're working towards? I mean, when you, when you press them on it and ask them, like, "Why are you here? Do you ever plan on leaving? Do you ever see yourself going somewhere else?" It's a really good question. I asked them all those questions. So, no, they felt like that was their calling. Calling, they were doing what they were supposed to be doing, and that they were committed to that lifestyle. So, no, they weren't, uh, there was no thought of going back. There had been monks that have left the monastery, just wasn't the right lifestyle for them. But the monks that were there when I was there, you know, 50 years, they were committed, and they're not going anywhere.
When they say that's what's confusing to me. Like, I understand that they're enjoying, and I understand that they, they, they like that life. But that it's our calling, like the calling to do nothing, or just think that's just sacrifice. Mm-hmm. Serve God, live a life of purity. This is not right. I couldn't do it. But I think that's kind of the mindset around it, and step away from the regular life that they were living.
What's interesting is that they, they weren't born into the monastery, right? A lot of these guys made this decision in their 20s, 30s. You know, so what were their jobs before they did it? All over the board. All over the board, literally. One guy, I mean, one of the most was a lifeguard as a teenager. Wow. I mean, just all over the board. So, but regular jobs, just always felt connected to God and connected to this higher living, a life, just, you know, under these terms.
All right, what's fascinating to me is that you're saying that they're so happy. Because if you get around me, how many, how many people were in this monastery? Eight. And they're all male? Yes. Eight men. If you get eight random men in there, you know, what's the youngest age of the guys? 35. 35 or 70? Is you get eight random 35 to 70s now, how many of them are happy? Actually truly happy? Maybe two. Right. How many people do you think are happy? Well, they just did a study, that is a famous Harris study on happiness in this country. I think 67% of people are unhappy. That is [ __ ] here's what, here I did this. Jo, this is a good test. Maybe you'll want to do this. I did this when I was speaking at an event for 500 Wall Street people recently, and it was fascinating. I'll take you through it. You can tell me if you feel comfortable with it. But if you take all the areas of your life and put them in a blender, okay? So take where you live, your relationships, your finances, your health, you, everything, everything. Put it in one [ __ ] big blender and blend it up. And on a scale of one to ten, with ten being the Dalai Lama of happiness, and a one being a guy that's at rock, with zero being some of this at rock-bottom, what's your happiness number?
Me? Yeah, I'm pretty [ __ ] happy. But I don't know. I wouldn't do it that way. I definitely wouldn't give it a number, okay? Cuz I feel like that you're making something, you're turning like a constant state of thinking and expression and consideration, you're turning it into a number. And I just, I don't like that idea. I don't like that idea because I think it's a management issue. I think a lot of what happiness is, is a management issue and decisions that you're making right now. Like, you could be in a [ __ ] state of mind right now, but you could make some decisions to adjust that. And over the next couple of hours, you'll get to a much better place. And these constant management decisions, they waver in and out of your life on a daily basis. Like this idea that you could have a good mindset, then all of a sudden you'll be happy. That's horseshit. Like, that's like, it's like the tide. It comes in and it comes down. There's gonna be days where you're just not feeling so good physically, and that's going to affect the way your happiness level is. It's never static. It's not.
Are the, exactly the same? True. But if you look at it overall, at 30,000 feet, and you had to give yourself a grade, we're not being as [ __ ] as what I would say.
Okay, so you're happy. Okay, I'll take that. I'll take that. Most people in that room, yeah, raise their. I said, if anyone is seven and not, you know, for anyone that's listening that wants to do it, raise your hand. If you're, you know, seven or below, I don't want to put anyone on the spot. And the majority of the room stood up being a seven. And thinking, you know, like seven is a pretty happy number. Mmm-hmm. But a seven, if my son comes home with a seventy on a test, you see too, right? And all I'm saying is, but what was interesting about the test, though, if you do actually go through the process, for those that like, go through that and get a number in their head, or whatever you want to give yourself a grade, right? Your brain automatically goes to a ten, and then subtracts the two or three things that pop in that make you better, bring your happiness down. It's a great way to identify what's making you unhappy. And that, you know what I mean, right? Like you started attending, like, "Oh [ __ ], my relationship, this or that." Usually it triggers an automatic, like, "This is what's [ __ ] up in my life" response, right? And you can, it helps you identify. But it's interesting, we have benchmarks in so many things in our life. You have an IQ test, you have tax brackets to measure your, your wealth, or financial statements. You have IQ tests, like I said, you can get on the scale to measure your weight. But you're right, happiness is one of those things. It's like, how do you benchmark it? You know what I mean? If fluctuates, and it's like hunger. I mean, it's, it's, it's, it's something that's go, it goes in and out. It's always there. But happiest [ __ ] is a good answer.
Yeah, but I, this is something I've cultivated for a long time and avoided things that make me unhappy. And figured out what those things are. And been very rigid about eliminating them from my life. And one of the big ones is eliminating interactions with people that are negative. That is gigantic. And be, because I've realized that I'm not really as independent as I used to like to think I was. I used to like to think that my thought process was independent, and that I don't give a [ __ ] what anybody thinks. That's nonsense. People say that because they absolutely care what people think, and it bothers them. So they say, "I don't give a [ __ ]." But that, "I don't give a [ __ ]" stuff is almost entirely nonsense. You do care. And you care in both ways. You care if people are critical of you, you care if people are positive. You, but you also care if people are living positive lives and they're motivating you. That's, that's a big one. People are fuel. And other people, it's one of the reasons why I like talking to people. One of the reasons why I like to do podcasts, because I get a lot out of, like, just talking to you about your time in the monastery or your, your push to get to that hundred miles. Like, you get energy out of people like that. And you think about this energy, and you think about this inspiration when you're doing other things. And it also sets in your mind that when you meet these exceptional people that move you, like, what are the characters? What are the qualities that they have? What are the characteristics that they, that they possess? And those things become significant and important to you. Whereas if you live around a bunch of people that are complaining and bitching about everything, and they see the negative in everything, and they're always whining, those people are the opposite of that. They're the opposite of inspiration. And they're just, they're, they're mud. You're just like, what? It's like you're up to your ankles in mud. You try to trudge through life. It's difficult. You're not light. It's not, it's not pushing it. It's not a wind at your back. The wind's in your face, and it's rough, you know? And over time, I've learned that these people, you just, you're not gonna fix them. I used to want to fix them when I was young. I used to want to go, "Hey man, I see what you're doing. Like, do, don't do that anymore. Listen, just try, just just do this and and stop doing that and start doing this. And if you just work towards this, you could be successful." And then a week later, the guy's doing the same [ __ ]. Okay, I'm wasting a significant amount of my energy on someone who doesn't want to waste any of their energy on themselves. And so managing the, the community and the tribe that you're in, making sure that you're a good member of that tribe, that you're doing your part, you know? And there's a lot of cynicism in these days about inspiration and about motivation because there's a lot of fake [ __ ]. You know, you can go on Instagram and you see a million of these inspirational quote pages, and they're run by people that are probably depressed. You know, you see a lot of people that are, you know, talking about how to get ahead in life, but they're not really doing anything themselves. So there's a lot of cynicism involved in that. But there's also sincerity in it. And you can get, if you just look at it with a pure heart and a pure mind, you can get a lot of energy out of that. And when you're around happy, inspirational people that are successful, it makes you feel better, and you get inspired. And if you act on that inspiration, your life will be more fulfilled. And it's not just inspirational in terms of financial success, but in terms of doing difficult things. Whether it's running a hundred miles, it doesn't pay you a goddamn thing, other than the, the wealth of the knowledge that you can push yourself to such an extreme. Or anything else, whether it's someone who becomes really good at playing chess, or someone who's really good at martial arts, or or whatever it is. There's, there's a great feeling in these overcoming these difficult things because life is never this just constant state of "I'm at a nine all day." When I'm with my wife, I hit ten. Yay. And I stay like that. That's not real.
What's real is like you saying that you went to this monastery and felt all this this angst about meditating and being and not having your phone and not having the input. But then when it comes out of it, then you have this reward. So you, you push through this, and you have these uncomfortable feelings, and you came out of those uncomfortable feelings with this newfound appreciation for time and this newfound respect for your own existence and your own space. And carving out three hours for yourself a day, that's where it all comes from. It all comes from life lessons. And the lessons are learned through struggle. And I think that there's a lot of people out there that think somehow or another you're gonna get to someplace where you're living in silk sheets and you're getting your toes done while someone's dropping grapes into your mouth. I don't want that. I've never wanted that. That guy's not gonna be happy. He's gonna be bored. Hour into the grapes, you're gonna get those [ __ ] grapes away from me. Stop painting my toes. What am I doing in this bed? I got to do something. I'm not stimulated. The human organism, the animal that we are, needs constant stimulation because it evolved trying to find food and escape enemies and find shelter, escape nature, escape the elements, try to survive. And this is the great joy that you haven't taken care of your children, so you can protect your children from the elements and the enemies and feed them. And, and it's also the great sadness that you see in losers. When I see a loser, I see some guy who's 43 years old, lives in his parents' basement, he [ __ ] hates the world. And like, that was a baby, man. This is a baby that somebody just gave shitty nutrients to, whether it's nutrients in the form of food, or in the form of thoughts and ideas and examples. And this kid developed these horrible, self-defeating patterns of behavior that have led them to this point where there's this middle-aged person with no future and no idea of how to get out of this rut. And probably never will escape it. And might just wind up sucking on a gun, you know what I mean? This is, this is the world that we live in today. And I think part of that world is because we have been fed this line of horseshit that you're supposed to seek comfort. And I don't think you are. I think you're supposed to seek lessons. And you're supposed to seek difficult tasks. And, and, and accomplishments. And through those things, and doing things that are hard to do, even if it's just a [ __ ] 90-minute hot yoga class. I do a 90-minute yoga class, man. Those last 20 minutes, I do not want to be there. Man. And I definitely don't want to give 100%. And I can cheat. I can, I could kind of half-ass it. I can, I can. But if I don't, and I get through it, when that time is up, and the lady says, "Namaste," and everybody gets up, my [ __ ], man, I made it. You know, I lost 15 pounds. My [ __ ] yoga mat is drenched at the point. Like, it literally wring it out, fill a jug up with water. But through that struggle, I will now have a better day. And I better [ __ ] do it again tomorrow, or do something else. Because if I just think, "Well, tomorrow I'm just gonna coast and eat Twinkies and watch TV." Oh, hello sadness, my old friend. Hello depression. Because when you're not doing anything, you feel like [ __ ]. And that's just part of being a human being. And we can pretend that we're something other than what we really are. And we could pretend, "Nah, man, I'm just cool, just chilling, doing nothing." [ __ ] you're a [ __ ] human. You're a human being. You evolved from the [ __ ] hundreds of thousands of years of hunters and gatherers and people that were struggling. Those were human. Reward systems are carved deeply into your DNA. And if you don't respect that, if you don't respect the mechanism of happiness and fulfillment and what you really need to do in order to feel satisfied in life, camaraderie, love, family, friendship, struggle, testing yourself, learning, all those things are imperative. They're all a giant part of being a person.