Transcription
We know the Steelers are going to try to come in and raw dog us and and kill us. Uh, raw dog us and and kill us. Uh, note to self, never be left alone with the Steelers. Welcome to the real winners and losers from NFL Week 6. I'm Jon Snow. You know nothing, Jon Snow. And I'd like to admit that I do indeed know nothing about the NFL. Pretty sure Jon Snow got raw dogged right after that, too.
The Chiefs and Lions brawled, and Casey has turned the corner. Three quarterbacks combined for 22 sacks taken Sunday. The Steelers are the Kings of the North. Bryce Young upsets Dallas. Baker Mayfield is the MVP leader. The Bears win on a last-second Jake Moody, yes, Jake Moody field goal and post the exact same score two weeks in a row. Drake London and Bijon Robinson torched the Bills defense on Monday night, sending the Patriots into first place in the AFC East. The Titans fired Brian Callahan. So much to discuss, but first, the blob 10 plays. 10 plays so vulgar, not even my Broncos would sack him.
Starting with the Levice 11. An Oregon student hyped up the crowd on college game day before making the worst field goal attempt in the history of field goal attempts. We have a great story. This guy sucks. In hindsight, this was an omen that the Ducks were going to lose to Indiana and an omen that that kid was not getting laid that night. Blop 10. Xavier Legette tries to pitch it for some reason here. Like it's the last play of the game or something. There's over 30 seconds left in the first half with two timeouts. I think it's fair to wonder, does Xavier Legette have an active case of rabies? I think they think we really be faking when we say we do this. We done bust a squirrel out the tree and open them up.
Block nine. Bucks DB, Kindle Vohr's interception where he falls three times over his own feet instead of jogging in for the pick-six. Vohr saw everyone dropping the ball short of the end zone and said, "Watch this ball security. I'm not making that same mistake." Flop eight. George Pickens. He is truly the most graceful wide receiver I've seen since, well, since Plaxico Burress at that nightclub in 2008. Blop seven. One of the coolest touchdowns of the year was completely erased because Travis Hunter was lined up offsides. Unfortunately, this is the greatest play Travis Hunter has made to stop a receiver all season. I'm sorry, Travis. I'm sorry. You know I love you. You know I love you, Travis. And to nobody's surprise, this is how the team that gave Jacksonville the picks to draft him plays defense against themselves. Pretty cool. The Browns still have their own two-way player.
Blop six. A 49ers offensive lineman stepped on kicker Eddie Pondero's shoe. This is why football's amazing, though, right? A guy with a size 20 shoe and another guy with a size -5 shoe are both playing the same sport. And the guy with the feet of a 13-year-old ballerina is just as important. Plot five. Trayvon Henderson had a Madden glitch. What are you doing, Trayvon? This is like when you got to put new double-A batteries in the controller mid-game. Block four. On NFL Red Zone, Scott Hansen referenced the '67 meme. A viral joke amongst the youths of TikTok. The Patriots. Oh, '67. And that is as a grown man, I do not endorse Scott Hansen knowing this much about young people. You be careful, or you might catch the eye of another famous Hansen.
Block three. Panthers owner David Tepper got to celebrate after his huge win for his Carolina Panthers. What the video doesn't show you is that behind that wall, he's actually jumping on the skull of a fan who dared make eye contact with him earlier in the game. Plop two. We finally found a way to stop serial killers. Can't say enough about Bos. Um, man, our kicker is a serial killer. It's not forensic evidence or maximum security prisons or even capital punishment. It's a really shitty grass field in Pittsburgh. Oh yeah, big did it. That looks like planting wedge. Blop one. Brian Branch blops Juju Smith-Schuster after the game, right in the face. Brian blop Juju in the face because he was sick of taking back shots from Juju all game. Raw doggas and raw doggas and raw doggas and but Brian, you committed the greatest sin in sports. You forced the general public to side with the Chiefs, and rightfully so. Excuse me for a second, Brian. Son of a [ __ ] [Music] making the world side with the Chiefs. Brian, unforgivable.
Block zero. Me and my broken chair, which broke during the Broncos live stream. Oh no, my chair's broken, guys. Oh, [ __ ] No, guys. My chair. It's all the way broken. What the? No. Don't let anyone ever tell you I don't have a sweet, sweet dump truck. Raw dog. You stay out of there, Pittsburgh. H. God damn it. No. Disc. Not in the middle of the game. We got a flag. My chair's broken. The real penalty is on the goddamn chair. Sports. Please subscribe here. We're about 100 subs away from 85,000. We're also 100 signups away from hitting my next bonus on Prize Picks, today's sponsor. I need to get 800 signups basically every month to stay on target for 6,000 this season. We're a third of the way there. Now, if you like guessing player stat totals, use my code TGS when you sign up at Prize Picks. Once you make your first $5 deposit, they'll give you $50 in lineups. This is my Thursday night lineup. I like Rodgers and DK to hook up for more than 174 yards and 39 receiving against the Bengals. It will be tough, but I also like Joe Flacco to get Jamar Chase into the end zone again. Now, you can see all of my lineups and plays if you follow me on Prize Picks. Over 3,000 of you are there right now. I'm still following back and I'm quite literally laughing at your usernames. Pera's dead, chair broken, curse wheel, don't be a big boo. Pernatory, keep them coming, guys. Link below, code TGS. And as much as I love the support at Prize Picks, I only want you playing if you got the money and you trust yourself and know you can play responsibly. If you think you're going to have issues with this stuff, don't play. Just like the video, subscribe here. That's always enough. Cool [ __ ] got a little weird on Thursday. [Applause]
The Thursday night NFL post-game hit its highest live viewing numbers ever on Grinder. Cool [ __ ] Not only did the Giants upset the Eagles, but Jackson Dart and the G-men straight up bullied Philly. Cool [ __ ] New York was fueled by the oddly compelling bromance between Dart and Scataboo. Cool [ __ ] Dart rushed for 58 yards and a TD through a TUD and was throwing passes that were precise like a little sharp, needly thing. God, I I wish there were a word for that. Oh, wait, there is. He was throwing cool [ __ ] The Eagles had the audacity to run four tush pushes in a row, and it was the most notable thing they did all night. Jackson Dart's got so much moxie. Even the refs were hitting him with high fives. He's already surpassed Tom Brady in that department. Cool [ __ ] Jackson Dart got popped and had to leave the game for a couple plays. Russell Wilson came in and immediately tossed our losing throw. I've seen Russ throw better balls on the goal line at the Super Bowl. A single throw so infuriating it nearly gave Brian Daboll an aneurysm. A complete 180 in terms of how he feels about Jackson Dart. Is he going to be good or not? I'm going to call a timeout on fourth down and go for this, son, [ __ ] If you want to know why health insurance is so high, blame Daboll for malpractice when he entered the blue medical tent. I love our doctors. Winning rookies. Yeah, Darton Scataboo, who is a punishing runner. He averaged 5.2 yards per carry and finished every single run like he was defending himself from a Mark Sanchez attack. Losing defender Adori Jackson, who didn't want any of that scatman scat on his touchdown run. Bend over and throw his body. You got to wrap up. Try to come in and raw dog us. And the real reason I call Scataboo Scatman is because this is how dudes sound trying to speak after he hits them. The last Giant with three rushing TDs in a game was Ahmad Bradshaw back in 2011. Was this the Giants' Super Bowl? You tell me.
Did a white corner get a pick this week? No. But Cooper DeJean got trucked by the Scatman, and Riley Moss didn't even have to try against Justin Fields. Losing relevancy, the Titans and the Raiders. Vegas gets a 20 to 10 win and they get to keep their head coach. Geno Smith only threw one interception, and he was lucky to have a fumble overturned. The Raiders aren't good, but they're not Titans bad, but they're bad enough. When the Titans lost to the Raiders, they said, "We got to fire our head coach." Bad. Cam Ward was sacked six times again. And I just said "again" like it's not a big deal. Tennessee, that's a big freaking deal. Devin White was a game-wrecker in this one. Six tackles, an interception, a forced fumble, and a sack. Sure, the sack and forced fumble were on the same play, but it set the Raiders up for an easy TD to Michael Mayer, who actually isn't the mayor of Las Vegas. That, of course, is A'ja Wilson. Am I losing coach Brian Callahan, who lost 19 of his 23 games as the headman in Tennessee before getting canned following another embarrassing loss, this time at the hands of the Raiders. Tennessee was 31st in offense, 26th in defense, and has surrendered the most sacks of any team in the NFL. Titans fans, you can officially rejoice. Cam Ward can get another lease on his rookie season with an interim in place. And of course, the funniest option would be uh Brian's father, Bill Callahan, who is indeed on the staff in Tennessee. Callahan essentially got the job for what he did in Cincinnati with Joe Burrow. And now without Burrow, Zac Taylor might be the next coach to go if Mike Brown has the saggy balls to make that kind of move. Hell, even Ed Orgeron got fired from LSU two years after winning it all with Joe Burrow. The lesson here, never ever coach Joe Burrow under any circumstances.
Losing stat. The number one pick has watched their head coach get fired in year one for three straight seasons. Winning tweet. The Jets offense was so bad in London, Kurt Warner was tweeting from the broadcast booth looking for help from the internet to explain their ineptitude. And the Brits are wondering what is happening in London. And so are the American announcers. Winning firsts. Cooper Kupp scored his first touchdown as a Seahawk. Tim Patrick scored his first touchdown as a Jag wire. Brian Thomas had two touchdowns, but only one counted. His first TD was basically as easy as it gets in the NFL. Losing trade. Greg Newsome, who was burned for 61 yards in his first game as a Jag. JSN smoked Newsome like my uncle Randy smokes Newports. JSN grabbed the ball out of the air eight times for a buck 62 and a TD. Jibba has been so good this season. I'm holding him to a higher standard in terms of getting the winning receiver. The difference in this game was the Seahawks defense. Any other week, seven sacks would be very impressive. I'd say sorry for uh the Broncos stealing your thunder, Seattle, but you ruined my 2013 season with the Legion of Boom. The Jags ran 68 plays and amassed just 273 yards of total offense, which is a lot compared to the negative 10 passing yards the Broncos allowed. You are not winning the winning defense, Seattle, but you are pretty good.
Losing basic math. The Seahawks, who had not 12, but 13 men on the field on a two-point conversion. The Ravens and Rams game made me want to quit watching football. Unlike the Broncos-Jets game, both of these teams were supposed to be championship caliber. The Ravens had to insert Tyler Huntley after Rush was playing pretty bad with a pick and an overthrow. Losing ball security. Call ADT or simply Safe, because Zay Flowers couldn't hold on to it. Uh, fumbled it up twice in this game, ensuring the struggling Ravens and all of Derrick Henry's 122 rushing yards would go to waste. Losing leg. Josh "Playboy" Cardi, who ducked a 26-yarder. He joins Jake Moody as the only other kicker this season to miss between 20 and 30 yards. And he has the third worst field goal percentage at 71.4. Four. Tyler Higbee and Kyren Williams found the end zone for LA. But Billy Bob Thornton's son, Nate Landman, had 17 combined tackles, most this week and most by a single Rams player since 2000. Landman. Landman. You know it sounds bigger.
Losing injuries. The 2025 season. The Colts got it real weird Sunday. Corner Tre'Varius Ward suffered a concussion in pregame warm-ups, and Anthony Richardson suffered an eye injury in pregame warm-ups after he snapped a rubber leg band into his face. Why is the leg band by your face is a question I should have. But if you want to know what that might look like, here's a reenactment. This stuff is real good for you. And no matter [Music] he spent the game in the hospital with an orbital fracture. How intense are Shane Steichen's pregame warm-ups? We know about the Ravens and the 49ers' litany of injuries, but now San Francisco lost their other best defensive player, Fred Warner, who fractured and dislocated his ankle. You know, an injury is bad if another player reacts like this. I don't think the Niners can overcome this one. The Bucs lost to Mecha Eggbuka to a hamstring injury. That means Baker Mayfield was without Mike Evans, Chris Godwin, Eggbuka, Jalen McMillan, and his top back, Bucky Irving. His number one wideout is fifth on the depth chart. Plus, two starting offensive linemen gone. And when you hit him, it only makes him more psychotic. You bet your sweet ass he's my winning quarterback this week, Baker Mayfield, or as I like to call him, Quaker Mayfield. Why? Because he's instant offense. If cocaine, whiskey, and Viagra [ __ ] they'd birth Baker Mayfield. Baker could play with 10 Make-A-Wish kids and still get the dub. Baker's got so much dog in him. Mike Vick isn't allowed within 100 yards of him. It didn't matter if it was third and 14, Baker was ready to evade sacks and bulldoze his way for a first down. That's this decade's Beast Quake. Hence, again, Quaker Mayfield. Here's 2025 Mayfield in a nutshell. But he's not going to have a chance. Oh yes, he is. He's not going to have a chance. Oh yes, he is. Jim. Oh my goodness. He's done it again. Oh, that is pure Baker Mayfield. That's Baker. That's MVP [ __ ] If a mecha egg got hurt, fine. He's tossing a certified, notarized, officially minted FDR to Bo Nix's brother, TZ Johnson. If MVP really means most valuable player to his team, I think Baker is in the lead right now by a mile because I don't know who else is carrying Tampa's offense. Imagine Mahomes without Kelce, Rice. Okay, that part's easy. Worthy, Hollywood, Pacheco, and two linemen. Imagine Goff without Gibbs, LaPorta, Montgomery, and Jamo. Imagine if Josh Allen had an elite receiver and then lost him. That's Baker every goddamn week. Baker finished the game with 256 yards on just 23 attempts, 11 yards per throw with two TDs, no picks, and a passer rating of 139. My true MVP though is actually TZ Johnson. I score and I hear MVP chant. I'm thinking they talking about me. So I asked Shep and Mayfield the ball. I thought they like I was chanting for you, TZ. I was losing embarrassment. Congrats Packers. You didn't lose to Joe Flacco. You didn't get embarrassed twice this season, and that's all that matters.
Winning flu game. Josh Jacobs blew chunks before the game and took chunks during the game on his way to two touchdowns. Throwing up, you know, during the game after I mean, before the game. I was miked up, so I don't know if they're going to put that in there or not. Brandon McManus injured his leg this week. So, my winning kicker, Lucas Havik, the substitute teacher turned substitute kicker who knocked down two field goals in the game. Winning participation trophy. Jamar Chase, who got to participate in football once again now that Joe Flacco was throwing him the ball. NFL receivers will happily lose as long as their stats look nice. Losing timeout. A 67-yard field goal by Evan McPherson got waved off because the Packers called a late timeout. Somewhere Justin Tucker is breathing a massive sigh of relief. And not just because he just [ __ ] in the back room of a Massage Envy. The most stimulating play, aka the Arthur Smith Award, is going to Jared Goff, who bobbled and eventually caught this touchdown pass, only to see the pesky NFL rules rob him of a TD because the obscurely written rule about illegal motion says he needed to stop running before the play could start. It took the officials well over a minute to make their ruling and throw a flag, meaning this stimulation lasted longer than any other play of the year. Oh, we should be grateful. Unfortunately, the Lions were outstimulated, and we all watched in horror as the Chiefs beat Goff relentlessly in prime time. You can't help but admire the marinelike discipline of the Kansas City Chiefs. A team that committed zero penalties in an entire game. The first team to do that since who gives a [ __ ] Were any of these penalties or plays that should have been reversed reviewed and reversed? No, of course not. You know the cliché. They say you could throw a flag on every play in the NFL. Uh, there's a hold on every play. Well, how about just once? Just once you call a flag on the Chiefs, you sick bastard. Refs.
Losing stat. The Chiefs, in their decisive win, became the first team since 1972 with zero turnovers, zero penalties, and just one punt in a game. The Chiefs get Rashee Rice back next week. And they are they are the winning health. I've never seen a team as healthy as the Chiefs after six weeks of football. Losing quarterback. It's Justin Fields in his negative 10 passing yards and nine sacks, but I already shredded him in the Jets in the new worst game ever. I think Justin Fields had the worst day of any Jets quarterback ever. And that includes Mark Sanchez, who got booked into jail the same day as he left the hospital. So, I'm actually going to go with Kyler Murray, who watched his Cardinals nearly upset the Colts from the bench. Jacoby Brissett came in and appeared to run the Cardinals offense with more confidence than Kyler has at any point this season. And he nearly upset Daniel Jones and the Colts. Two TDs from Jacoby, over 300 passing yards. How many 300-yard games does Kyler have this season? Ah, zero.
Winning stat. The Colts, who have scored 194 points this season, which is the most by any Colts team ever through six weeks. Daniel Jones is manning the offense, and we now know it's not just luck. Wordsmith, I am. Jones also unflappable under pressure. Pressure makes dimes. Dimes make bags, and bags get you higher than Jonathan Taylor's stock this season. The Colts actually trailed in the fourth until Josh Downs made my winning catch in the back of the end zone, getting absolutely blasted on the crucial catch. Logo, providing too many layers of symbolism for even me to dissect here. What a catch, Josh.
The Joe Burrow Award, which goes to the player who no matter what he does, his team loses. It's actually going to the Cowboys offense. You have to feel for Dak Prescott at this point. Over the last three weeks, he's thrown 10 touchdowns. And once again, he's doing it all without Michael Gallup, CeeDee Lamb, minus R. But the Cowboys are only 1-1-1 in those three games because his defense has allowed 90 points in that same span. Dak had three of those TDs and didn't even take a sack versus Carolina. But because his D also allowed Bryce Young to throw for three scores, he couldn't even leave Charlotte with a win. In an alternate universe, Dak is in the MVP convo with his numbers. But because Andre Jones, John sold Michael Parsons for some magic beans and another cameo in a Tyler Sheridan show, he's living the 2024 Joe Burrow experience all over again. And we might be changing this to the Dak Prescott Award. George Pickens also had 168 yards and a TD, balling out with six touchdowns already. And I'm wondering at what point is he going to just fart in a defensive coordinator's face? George has been unleashed as a number one wideout with CeeDee's injury. The problem is that Pickens and his incredible 168 yards was 2/3 of the Cowboys' entire offense. Jake Ferguson is one of the most reliable TD-scoring tight ends right now this season with four in the last three games, and it doesn't matter.
The Michael Penis Jr. Award going to the player who rose to the occasion. I'm splitting the Mikey Penis award between two players on the same team, Justin Herbert and Lad McConkey. Trust me, there's enough panics to satisfy two men. Try to come in and raw dog us. After Tua found Darren Waller for a go-ahead touchdown with a minute left, the Chargers needed a big play to get into field goal range. Herbert shook off Jaylen Phillips and fired a dart to McConkey, who hit a crossover, turned on those white boy jets for 42 yards, setting up friend of the show Cameron Dicker, the game-winning kicker, to ice the game. The Chargers needed that game to keep their lead in the AFC West. And that play was the difference. You might be wondering if Jim Harbaugh had anything to say about that play. Well, he did. And as you might expect, he did not disappoint. Again. I mean, that play would be burning my mind for uh till they throw dirt over top of me. Yeah.
My real losing QB is Tua Tagovailoa. Well, let's see how we say that. Not only did he throw three interceptions in this game to keep the Chargers in the mix, he had the lowest passer rating of any quarterback not named Rush. And he simultaneously blamed his teammates and leadership. "It starts with the leadership. We have guys showing up to meetings late, guys not showing up. It's a lot of things of of that nature that we got to get cleaned up." Nice. Everyone but the man in the mirror. That's the way I would do it. Honestly, the bed [ __ ] I'm giving the Dolphins the bed [ __ ] this week. And this is really for the crime of costing Denver the lone spot at top the AFC West. But Miami has blown late leads in their last two games. Now, like I mentioned, Tua threw his teammates under the bus after the loss. And former Dolphins, but mostly former Broncos wide receiver chimed in to say that Tua was the worst defender of all. The Dolphins' beds are permanently stained brown, and they need to start dealing pieces to set themselves up for some kind of rebuild before the trade deadline.
We had numerous options for the winning running back, my winning game manager, Aaron Rodgers. His job was simple: just play better than Dillon Gabriel, who threw the ball 52 times and only racked up 221 yards through the air. Uh, Kevin Stefanski gets my losing game plan, having a rookie in his second start fire off 52 passes while giving Judkins just 12 carries. Come on, Kevin. Aaron Rodgers, though, threw two TDs, had some gorgeous balls to DK Metcalf, and most importantly, didn't turn the ball over or take any sacks against the Browns. Not to harp on the Jets, but Aaron Glenn really let Rodgers walk just to amass negative -10 passing yards, while Rodgers has a 10-to-3 TD-to-pick ratio after five games. The Steelers are 4-1 and are putting an early chokehold on the otherwise woeful AFC North.
Winning honesty. JJ Watt about his college appearance. Oh, let's take you back. I was fat and I had a weird facial hair situation going on. Safe to say Aaron Rodgers has never once been that honest about himself. Winning defender. The Steelers also had the winning D-man in their uh victory over the Browns. I wonder who it was. I'll give you a hint. He had two sacks in this game. No, you idiot. It's not T.J. Watt. It's Jalen Ramsey. Who in their right mind would have thought that in a game with Miles Garrett and T.J. Watt that Jalen Ramsey would have had more sacks than both of them combined? I'm going probably shout my kids about this. I played in a game with T.J. Watt getting loud scared and I had two snacks. I know Keenan Allen wanted this award, but you got to do more than break up a pass, Keenan. Even funnier than that was Ramsey sacking Dillon Gabriel and then pointing at Shedeur Sanders as if to tell him, "You're up next."
My winning receiver, well, let's give some love to a guy who's never won this award. Yes, we must praise the bounty. Kahan Bouty was a sixth-round pick by the Pats in 2023, was a complete afterthought until Drake Maye got in the lineup, then became one of his most trusted targets in the Patriots' 25-19 victory in the Superdome. That Booty popped for 93 yards on five grabs, five targets, including a pair of touchdowns. These weren't easy grabs either. There were defenders all over the place molesting Booty, violating Booty, and Booty still prevailed. All of this in his native Louisiana. I've mentioned that the Texans have a backfield with Chubb and Woody, but we mustn't forget that the Patriots' starting wideouts are Diggs and Booty. If you Diggs and Booty, just make sure you don't go too deep. Did Drake Maye get robbed of the winning quarterback? I'm sorry. Yes. He was brilliant in the Pats' win. 18 of 26, 261, three touchdowns. He was also the Pats' leading rusher with 28 yards. Don't love that. But Pats fans, you got enough quarterback awards to last a lifetime. Okay, crazy. The two best quarterbacks this weekend were both successors to Tom Brady. And May's numbers would have been even better if not for the [ __ ] the refs available at benchwarmershop.com, my coffee store, and merch store. Go check out the merch. But if those refs didn't negate 61 yards for offensive pass interference, maybe I would have given May the award. Here's a piece of advice, Drake. You need to marry a woman worth $400 million to help pay off the refs like Tom did.
And a very special revenge dagger this week is going to Rico Dowdle, who rushed for over 200 yards a week ago in the Panthers' victory over the Dolphins and then wasted no time calling out his former team, the Dallas Cowboys, who were next up on the schedule. Rico told them to buckle up. They they got to buckle up. Uh, I think they know for sure. So what does he do against the team that cut him? Oh, just a casual buck 83 on 30 carries, four grabs for for 56 yards and a touchdown. That's 293 yards from scrimmage, the most in Panthers history. Not even Christian McCaffrey did that [ __ ] And he had a season where he had 1,000 rushing and receiving yards. Rico became the sixth back to have back-to-back weeks with 200-plus scrimmage yards. This is one of the best revenge daggers ever given out because Dowdle called his shot and more than backed it up. That one buckled up. And you got to respect Dave Canales for just getting 34 touches to Dowdle when you know Rico wanted the ball every play. Great restraint, Dave. I think Rico summed it up perfectly. They buckled up. Just in case I didn't gas up enough, here's a crazy winning stat for him. Dattle has 473 yards over the last two games alone, which is 11 more than Squan has all season. Running backs, they're back to being [ __ ] completely replaceable.
Another Monday night double-header and a late addition to the bizarre pregame warm-up injury list. Buffalo lost defensive tackle Toquan Jones right before the game. Would it matter, though? You bet your sweet dump truck it did. Bijan Robinson gets the winning running back award this week after he gashed the Bills defense with 170 rushing yards, a TD, and 68 receiving yards. I really wanted to give this award to Chargers running back Kamani Idele this week for ripping 124 yards and his receiving touchdown as he came up off the practice squad. But Bijan stole this award from his bolt-y hands. Bijan was unstoppable, but so was Drake London. They're my winning duo, as well as Drake scored a touchdown, racked up 158 receiving yards on 10 catches, making me officially hit the panic button on the Bills defense. It was the first time the Falcons have ever had a 150-yard rusher and receiver in the same game. Drake and Mustard accounted for 396 of the offense's 443 yards. That's insane, but not as insane as my plot twist.
The winning defense this week, the Falcons. I did not misspeak. I said Falcons. After the Bills' opening touchdown drive, they terrorized Josh Allen all night. Four sacks for the Dirty Birds, three coming from their defensive interior. They had two interceptions, including one tipped with Josh Allen rolling out to end the game. They held the reigning MVP to 180 yards and forced a fumble. Hell, they even tricked the refs into thinking this was not a catch. In the NFL, if the ball doesn't touch the ground, it's not a catch. But if Travis Kelce uses the ground to secure the ball, it is. Cool. The Falcons' 14 sacks are the most they have had through five games since 2005. Conversely, the losing defense goes to Buffalo. You got destroyed by a sophomore quarterback who didn't really play last year. The offense can't carry you every week, Buffalo. And you didn't generate a single turnover. Not to mention, you tackle like [ __ ] eighth graders. Look, I'm nervous for the Bills, but I'm going to throw you a bone. I'm giving Josh Allen the only Mahomes award. Yeah. And in true Patrick Mahomes fashion, Josh is getting a glazing for an incompletion.
Winning religion. The Popes. The Bears. The Bears. Hey, benchwarmershop.com. If you like what you see here, I've got all the cursed shirts there. Football guys fans, the Bears are officially receiving blessings from the Pope. Not only did Chicago get blessed with three turnovers, one being a disastrous fumble by a driving Jaden Daniels in the final minutes that ended what was looking like a victory-sealing drive. You also survived the worst officiating of the week. Chicago was dinged for multiple ticky, and I mean really ticky-tacky penalties. None more egregious than this roughing the passer call. Well, maybe the pass interference on on Cole Kmet. You beat the refs. You vanquished the Commanders, who sent you on a downward spiral in 2024 after their Hail Mary victory. D'Andre Swift was unstoppable. That surprised me. He boasted a personal career best with 175 scrimmage yards and a touchdown. The Bears survived a late field goal blocked by the Commanders. That didn't stop your team, and Jake Moody, in his first game kicking for Chicago, from blasting the game-winner in the slippery, wet rain. Ben Johnson is working because the 2024 Bears would have lost that game in 18 different excruciating ways. You are the best last-place team in the NFL, Chicago. Thanks for watching. Don't forget to subscribe. You really got to subscribe to this channel because every day YouTube calls me and says, "Did you get enough subscribers today, Brandon?" And when I say no, uh, they just they roast me and they make fun of me and they're they're really mean when you don't subscribe.