Transcription
Hi everyone, welcome back to my channel. I'm Courtney Ryan, and a lot of older men assume that because they have more life experience, they automatically have an advantage in dating. And while confidence and maturity can absolutely be attractive, there are some habits that can unintentionally push women away.
So if you feel like you're struggling to connect, or you just aren't getting the response that you want, it might be worth taking a look at some of these subtle but important mistakes. So let's dive into things older men do that women do not like.
Number one is assuming she wants to be taught. Life experience is valuable, and sharing what you've learned over the years can be a fantastic way to connect. But if every conversation that you're having turns into a lesson—whether it's about wine, finance, or fitness—it can start to feel more like a lecture rather than an engaging conversation or discussion. Women appreciate and often adore a man who's knowledgeable, but they also want to feel like they're a part of the conversation and ultimately connecting with you. So if you find yourself always taking on the role of teacher, take a step back and focus on making the interaction more of a two-way exchange. Passion is attractive, but connection is what makes someone really want to stick around. And remember, your focus should be on connecting with the other person rather than just impressing them.
Okay, number two, we have neglecting your health and appearance. Taking care of yourself isn't just about vanity, but it's about showing that you value yourself. A man who puts effort into his appearance and his well-being naturally gives off confidence and energy, which are both incredibly attractive qualities. This doesn't mean that you need to be a model by any means, but small things make a big difference. Well-fitted clothes, fresh breath, neatly groomed facial hair, and skin that looks healthy. If you're still wearing worn-out clothes from a decade ago, or you haven't updated your haircut in many, many years, a simple refresh can do wonders. Women notice the effort that you put in, not perfection. Taking care of yourself isn't just about looking good; it's about showing that you value yourself and you take pride in how you present to the world.
And one area that a lot of men, especially older guys, tend to overlook is skin care. A solid skincare routine will help you look and feel your best. That's where today's sponsor, Tee Hanley, comes in. Their simple, effective system makes it easy to take care of your skin without overcomplicating things. Too many men are not doing this, and it legitimately only adds a few minutes to your daily routine. And Tee simplifies this process. They provide you with all the products you need and nothing that you don't. I recommend you start with their level one system, which comes with all of the basics: a daily face wash, an exfoliating scrub, an AM moisturizer with SPF 20 (which is going to protect you from the sun and help with anti-aging), and also a PM moisturizer. This isn't something that you want to keep putting off because prevention is key. Your future self, with skin that looks better than every other guy who didn't take my advice, will be thankful. Tee wants to make it a no-brainer for you to get started on your skincare journey.
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Number three is complaining about modern women. Few things kill attraction faster than a man who spends a date venting about how women today are too independent, too picky, or not like they used to be. If you're constantly reminiscing about how dating was better in the past, it can come across as bitter or close-minded. And maybe those things are true, but we don't want to be venting about them on a date. Here's the truth: every guy who's in a happy, fulfilling relationship probably didn't get there by complaining about women to women. Instead of focusing on what you don't like about modern dating, try to shift your mindset towards what you do want. Confidence and a positive outlook are always more attractive than frustration and resentment, or a guy who complains all the time. The same way that it would probably be unattractive to you if you went on a first date and the girl spent the entire time talking about how much she hates men or how much men suck. A bit of a nic—
Number four, moving too fast because you know what you want. There is nothing wrong with being clear about your relationship goals and your intentions, but trying to rush the process can make a woman sort of feel like she's being slotted into this pre-planned life rather than truly chosen for who she is, or a genuine compatibility between the two of you. I have personally heard from several women who have dated older men, and one of their biggest frustrations is how fast things move. Some guys become very clingy, eager to push the relationship forward as if they're running out of time, instead of creating a deep connection. This often backfires and makes a woman feel pressured rather than pursued. And this can feel pretty suffocating. So slow things down and enjoy the process. Let the connection build naturally. I think this will make the relationship much stronger in the long run, if you make it to that point.
Next, we have overcompensating for your age. There's nothing wrong with staying active, dressing well, or keeping up with trends, even, but forcing yourself to act younger than you are can have the opposite effect. If you're wearing sneakers and ripped skinny jeans meant for a 22-year-old influencer on TikTok, or using slang that just doesn't come naturally to you to try to fit in, it can feel inauthentic because it is. Women don't care if you're older—actually, a lot of the time that makes you more attractive to them. They care if you're comfortable in your own skin. So instead of trying to compete with these younger guys, lean into what makes you attractive as you are. Confidence, self-awareness, and a sense of purpose—that is what truly stands out, and a lot of the time what attracts younger women to older men in the first place.
And number six, treating dating like a transaction. Some men approach dating with a very practical mindset, listing their accomplishments, career success, or stability as if they're presenting a sort of resume. And while these qualities are great, attraction isn't built on logic alone; it's built on emotion. Women don't want to be sold on why they should date you—this isn't a sales pitch, okay—they want to feel a connection. They want to enjoy your company and experience a sort of chemistry between the two of you. If you're too focused on what makes you a great catch rather than simply just having fun and getting to know her, it can make dating feel like a business deal instead of an organic connection. Again, as I mentioned, we really want to focus on connecting rather than impressing. The impressive things about you will come out naturally and simply speak for themselves. So instead of listing off your accomplishments or highlighting your credentials, focus on how you make her feel. Do you make her laugh? Do you have engaging conversations? Do you bring energy and enthusiasm to your interactions? That is what is really going to make you stand out. So attraction isn't just about age; it's about energy, confidence, and how you engage with the world around you.
If you avoid these common mistakes and focus on a genuine connection, you are going to set yourself apart in the best way possible. So I want to know down in the comments which one of these stood out to you the most. I would love to hear down below. If you're an older guy who's dating either women your age or women who are a little bit younger than you, whatever you're doing, I would just love to hear your personal experiences—maybe what has worked for you and what hasn't—just to hopefully help out some other guys down below in the comments and also make me aware of some other things that are going on that maybe I do not currently know about. So share your experiences below if you're open to.
As always, if you like this video or find it helpful, be sure to give it a thumbs up and subscribe to my channel to be in the loop for when I release new content, if you haven't already. Also, follow me over on Instagram at Courtney Christristine Ryan. I love connecting with all of you guys over on there as well. So as always, thank you all so much for watching, and I will see you all next time. [Music]