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HOW MANY TRUMP WHITE HOUSE STAFFERS DOES IT TAKE TO CHANGE A LIGHT BULB? WE HAVE NO IDEA. THAT ACTUALLY MIGHT BE ONE OF THE FEW THINGS THAT THE MOST INCOMPETENT WHITE HOUSE STAFF IN HISTORY, LED BY THE MOST INCOMPETENT WHITE HOUSE CHIEF OF STAFF IN HISTORY CAN ACTUALLY DO. SO I'M GOING TO TAKE A WILD GUESS THAT IT MIGHT ONLY TAKE ONE, TRUMP WHITE HOUSE STAFFER TO REPLACE A LIGHT BULB.
BUT HOW MANY DOCTORS DOES IT TAKE TO GIVE DONALD TRUMP HIS ANNUAL PHYSICAL EXAM? HINT, IT IS THE LARGEST NUMBER OF DOCTORS WHO HAVE EVER GIVEN A PHYSICAL TO AN OCCUPANT OF THE WHITE HOUSE. AND IT MIGHT BE THE LARGEST NUMBER OF DOCTORS WHO HAVE EVER GIVEN ANYONE IN THE WORLD A PHYSICAL EXAM. TWENTY-TWO. YES, TWENTY-TWO.
THE WASHINGTON POST IS REPORTING THAT DONALD TRUMP SET A RECORD WITH HIS 22 DOCTORS UNDER THE HEADLINE THIS WEEK. "TRUMP SEES 22 MEDICAL SPECIALISTS APPEARING TO SET NEW BAR FOR PRESENCE." THE ARTICLE INCLUDES THIS COMMENT. "IT IS AN EXTRAORDINARY NUMBER," SAID JONATHAN REINER, LONG-TIME CARDIOLOGIST FOR FORMER VICE PRESIDENT DICK CHENEY. WHAT SPECIALTIES DO THEY REPRESENT? WHY SO MANY? I HAVE A QUESTION. HOW MANY OF THEM ARE PSYCHIATRISTS? BECAUSE IF THE ANSWER IS ZERO, THEN 22 DOCTORS ISN'T ENOUGH. NOT FOR DONALD TRUMP.
DICK CHENEY, WHO HAD MORE HEART SURGERIES THAN ANYONE WHO'S EVER SERVED AS PRESIDENT OR VICE PRESIDENT, HAD FEWER DOCTORS THAN DONALD TRUMP HAS. DONALD TRUMP'S PERSONAL PHYSICIAN, WHOSE TITLE IN THE WHITE HOUSE IS PHYSICIAN TO THE PRESIDENT, IS A UNITED STATES NAVY CAPTAIN. SO LIKE MANY PREVIOUS WHITE HOUSE PHYSICIANS, THE PRESIDENT IS BOTH HIS PATIENT AND HIS COMMANDER-IN-CHIEF, WHICH MEANS IT'S UP TO DONALD TRUMP TO DECIDE WHEN AND IF HIS DOCTOR, THE NAVY CAPTAIN, IS EVER GOING TO BECOME A NAVY ADMIRAL.
CAPTAIN SEAN BARBARELLA, THE WHITE HOUSE PHYSICIAN, SAID THAT DONALD TRUMP IS IN, QUOTE, "EXCELLENT HEALTH." HE ACTUALLY USED THE WORDS, "EXCELLENT HEALTH." HE ACTUALLY USED THE WORDS, "EXCELLENT HEALTH" FOR DONALD TRUMP.
IN THE WASHINGTON POST ARTICLE ABOUT DONALD TRUMP'S 22 DOCTORS, A WHITE HOUSE OFFICIAL IS QUOTED TELLING THIS LIE. "THE TRUMP WHITE HOUSE HAS SOMETHING TO HIDE ABOUT EVERYTHING, INCLUDING DONALD TRUMP'S 22 DOCTORS AND HIS HEALTH." BECAUSE THE VERY NEXT LINE IN THE WASHINGTON POST: WHEN YOU WORK IN DONALD TRUMP'S WHITE HOUSE AND YOU ISSUE A WRITTEN REPORT ABOUT HIS ANNUAL PHYSICAL EXAMINATION, IT'S ACTUALLY TITLED HIS ANNUAL PHYSICAL EXAMINATION. AND IT'S NO LONGER ANNUAL, IT'S ACTUALLY FREQUENT. AND YOU'RE SUPPOSED TO REVEAL IN THAT DOCUMENT ALL THE DRUGS THAT THE PRESIDENT TAKES. YOU REFUSE TO SAY WHETHER HE TAKES A HAIR LOSS DRUG, BUT YOU DO INCLUDE THIS ON PAGE TWO OF YOUR THREE-PAGE MEDICAL REPORT. "AI-ENHANCED ELECTROCARDIOGRAM ANALYSIS ESTIMATED HIS CARDIAC AGE, AN ESTABLISHED MEASURE OF CARDIOVASCULAR VITALITY, TO BE APPROXIMATELY..." I RAN THAT LINE BY A CARDIOLOGIST TONIGHT, AND HIS RESPONSE WAS, QUOTE, "SUCH BULLCRAP." AND I CLEANED THAT UP A BIT.
THE WHITE HOUSE PHYSICIAN IS CLAIMING THAT AI ESTIMATES DONALD TRUMP'S CARDIAC AGE IS 65 YEARS OLD WHILE HE'S NOW 79 YEARS OLD. SO DONALD TRUMP'S WHITE HOUSE PHYSICIAN, WHO MUST OBEY ALL ORDERS GIVEN TO HIM BY DONALD TRUMP, IS SAYING THAT THIS GUY'S CARDIAC AGE IS 14 YEARS YOUNGER THAN HIS CHRONOLOGICAL AGE OF 79. WE KNOW HOW MUCH DONALD TRUMP REALLY, REALLY HATES BEING OLD. AND SO DONALD TRUMP'S PHYSICIAN IS TRYING TO TELL YOU TO JUST THINK OF HIM AS BEING A 65-YEAR-OLD GUY.
OKAY, HERE'S A 65-YEAR-OLD GUY. THAT'S GEORGE CLOONEY PLAYING SOFTBALL IN CENTRAL PARK. LET'S SEE DONALD TRUMP TRY THAT. NOW, OF COURSE, IT'S UNFAIR TO GO BACK TO DONALD TRUMP. NOW, OF COURSE, IT'S UNFAIR TO TO COMPARE ANY OF US MERE MORTALS TO GEORGE CLOONEY, BUT THE FACT IS THAT THE PHOTOGRAPH OF DONALD TRUMP ON THE SCREEN RIGHT NOW, BESIDES GEORGE CLOONEY, BESIDES GEORGE CLOONEY, WAS TAKEN 14 YEARS AGO WHEN DONALD TRUMP WAS 65, THE SAME AGE AS GEORGE CLOONEY IN THAT PHOTOGRAPH. SO NO, DONALD, NO ONE WHO DOESN'T WORK UNDER ORDERS FROM YOU IN THE WHITE HOUSE IS EVER GOING TO THINK OF YOU AS BEING THE SAME AGE AS GEORGE CLOONEY.
WHAT IS IMPORTANT ABOUT DONALD TRUMP'S 22 DOCTORS AND THE WHITE HOUSE LIE THAT THEY HAVE NOTHING TO HIDE ABOUT THOSE 22 DOCTORS AND DONALD TRUMP'S ATTEMPT IN A MEDICAL REPORT TO MAKE HIMSELF 14 YEARS YOUNGER IS DONALD TRUMP'S UNRELENTING DESPERATION. HE IS THE MOST DESPERATE MAN EVER TO SIT BEHIND THE DESK IN THE OVAL OFFICE AND EVERYONE KNOWS IT. EVERYONE IN THE WORLD KNOWS THAT ABOUT DONALD TRUMP, AND EVERYONE IN THE WORLD WHO CAN TAKE ADVANTAGE OF DONALD TRUMP'S DESPERATION DOES TAKE ADVANTAGE OF DONALD TRUMP'S DESPERATION. AND NOW WE ARE WATCHING THE IRANIAN DICTATORSHIP TAKE ADVANTAGE OF DONALD TRUMP'S DESPERATION TO MAKE A DEAL WITH THEM EVERY DAY.
DONALD TRUMP TRIED TO GET ANOTHER DAY OF DRAMA TODAY ANNOUNCING THAT HE WAS CALLING OFF AN ATTACK ON IRAN TONIGHT BECAUSE HE HAS BASICALLY MADE A DEAL WITH IRAN TO END HIS WAR. "WE HAVE A DEAL THAT IRAN WILL NEVER HAVE A NUCLEAR WEAPON WHICH WAS THE WHOLE PURPOSE OF WHAT WE HAD TO GO THROUGH TO GET THIS SO IT'S A BIG VERY BIG THING BUT WE HAVE A SIGNING SOON AND THE DOCUMENTS ARE IN PRETTY FINAL SHAPE SO WE'LL SEE, WE'LL SEE. VERY GOOD SHOULD BE DONE, THAT SHOULD BE DONE PRETTY QUICKLY." HOW OLD DO YOU THINK HE LOOKS IN THAT CLIP?
WE ALREADY HAD A DEAL WITH IRAN, IN WHICH IRAN PROMISED, IN WRITING, NEVER TO SEEK, DEVELOP OR ACQUIRE IN ANY WAY NUCLEAR WEAPONS. BUT DONALD TRUMP, IN THE SINGLE MOST DESTRUCTIVE ACT OF AMERICAN DIPLOMACY IN THE 21ST CENTURY, DECIDED TO BREAK THAT DEAL WITH IRAN. AND NOW HE IS BEGGING IRAN TO PUT IN WRITING FOR HIM WHAT IRAN PUT IN WRITING FOR PRESIDENT OBAMA AFTER A SUCCESSFUL MULTI-YEAR NEGOTIATION BY SECRETARY OF STATE JOHN KERRY. THE IRANIAN DICTATORSHIP IS NOT FACING MIDTERM ELECTIONS THIS YEAR LIKE DONALD TRUMP IS. THE IRANIAN DICTATORSHIP DOES NOT LIVE UNDER THE POLITICAL PRESSURE. THEY WATCH DONALD TRUMP SQUIRMING UNDER EVERY SINGLE DAY. AND IF IT DOESN'T GET DONE FOR ANY REASON, WHICH I CAN'T IMAGINE THAT'S NOT HAPPENING, THEY WANT TO SIGN IT AS MUCH AS I DO OR MORE. I WOULD SAY THEY WANT TO SIGN IT MORE, MAYBE A LOT MORE.
SO DONALD TRUMP, WHO'S FACING THE WORST POLITICAL POLLING OF HIS PRESIDENCY IS PRETENDING THAT THE IRANIAN REGIME IS MORE EAGER TO SIGN A DEAL WITH DONALD TRUMP THAN HE IS TO SIGN TO DEAL WITH THEM, EVEN THOUGH DONALD TRUMP IS THE ONE WHO HAS REPEATEDLY EVERY OTHER DAY FOR 104 DAYS OF HIS WAR LIED ABOUT HOW EAGER IRAN IS TO SIGN A DEAL WITH HIM. THE NEW YORK TIMES REPORTS SHORTLY AFTER DONALD TRUMP SAID THAT IRAN'S TOP LEADERSHIP HAD SIGNED OFF ON A DEAL, IRAN'S STATE BROADCASTER QUOTING THE SPOKESMAN FOR IRAN'S FOREIGN MINISTRY SAID THOSE CLAIMS WERE SPECULATIVE. IRAN HAD NOT REACHED A FINAL DECISION ABOUT THE AGREEMENT, THE BROADCAST REPORTED, ADDING NOTHING HAS BEEN FINALIZED. THE REPORT SAID IRAN WOULD NOT COMPROMISE ON ITS RED LINES. PREVIOUSLY, THOSE HAVE INCLUDED ITS ABILITY TO MAINTAIN A NUCLEAR PROGRAM.
SO JUST JUDGING BY THE PUBLIC RECORD AS OF TONIGHT, WHO SOUNDS MORE DESPERATE TO SIGN A DEAL? DONALD TRUMP OR THE IRANIAN DICTATORIAL REGIME? A NEW POLL FINDS THAT 67.87% SAY THAT DONALD TRUMP HAS BEEN SOMEWHAT OR VERY INEFFECTIVE IN NEGOTIATING WITH IRAN. IT IS VERY LIKELY THAT 100% OF THE IRANIAN REGIME BELIEVES DONALD TRUMP HAS BEEN INEFFECTIVE IN NEGOTIATING WITH THEM.
DONALD TRUMP HAS BEEN PROVING FOR YEARS NOW THAT HE IS NOT EDUCABLE. NOT ONLY DOES DONALD TRUMP NOT KNOW ANY AMERICAN HISTORY THAT PRECEDED HIS BIRTH, HE DOESN'T KNOW THE AMERICAN HISTORY THAT HE PERSONALLY LIVED THROUGH EVEN AS AN ADULT. WHEN TALKING ABOUT THE 13 AMERICANS WHO HAVE BEEN KILLED IN DONALD TRUMP'S WAR IN IRAN. HE ONCE AGAIN TODAY LIED ABOUT THE WAR IN VIETNAM, THE WAR THAT HE PERSONALLY AVOIDED BY GETTING A DOCTOR'S NOTE TO CLAIM THAT THE FEET HE SPENT THE REST OF HIS LIFE PLAYING GOLF ON COULD NEVER SURVIVE THE DISCOMFORT OF COMBAT BOOTS.
HERE'S DONALD TRUMP TODAY USING VIETNAM WAR DEAD AND LYING ABOUT THAT NUMBER IN ORDER TO JUSTIFY THE TRUMP WAR: "ARE DEAD. WE'VE LOST 13 SOLDIERS IN TWO WARS. IN VENEZUELA, WE LOST NONE TO COVER THE COUNTRY. AND IN IRAN, WE LOST 13. IN VIETNAM WE LOST HUNDREDS OF THOUSANDS, 19 YEARS. NOBODY SAYS THAT. NOBODY SAYS THAT BECAUSE AS EVERYONE, EVERYONE OF DONALD TRUMP'S AGE WHO LIVED THROUGH THAT WAR KNOWS WE LOST ABOUT 58,000 AMERICANS IN VIETNAM, NOT HUNDREDS OF THOUSANDS." THE EXACT NUMBER. THE EXACT NUMBER, WHICH DONALD TRUMP SHOULD KNOW BECAUSE IT IS POSSIBLE THAT ONE OF THE MEN IN THAT NUMBER TOOK DONALD TRUMP'S PLACE AT HIS DRAFT BOARD IN NEW YORK CITY WHEN DONALD TRUMP MANAGED TO AVOID MILITARY SERVICE. THE EXACT NUMBER OF AMERICAN WAR DEAD IN VIETNAM WAS 58,220.
NOW I HAVE REPEATED THAT ON THIS PROGRAM AFTER DONALD TRUMP HAS GOTTEN IT WRONG. AND NOT ONE OF THOSE LYING INCOMPETENTS IN THE TRUMP WHITE HOUSE HAS BEEN ABLE TO PUT THAT NUMBER IN FRONT OF THAT MAN SO THAT HE CAN, AT LEAST, AT LEAST HAVE THE DECENCY TO USE THE CORRECT NUMBER TO HONOR EACH ONE OF THE PEOPLE REPRESENTED IN THAT NUMBER. BUT THAT TRUMP WHITE HOUSE IS SO POISONOUSLY STUPID, EVERY SINGLE ONE OF THEM, THAT THEY'RE GOING TO LET THAT BUFFOON THEY WORK FOR CONTINUE TO GO OUT THERE AND LIE ABOUT OUR VIETNAM WAR DEBT. AND HE'S SO RELENTLESSLY IGNORANT, WE DON'T EVEN KNOW IF HE'S LYING BECAUSE DONALD TRUMP JUST MIGHT HAVE ABSOLUTELY NO IDEA AND HAS NEVER HAD ANY IDEA HOW MANY AMERICANS WERE KILLED IN VIETNAM. AND HE DOES NOT CARE, THAT'S FOR SURE. HE DOES NOT CARE. HE THINKS IT'S HUNDREDS OF THOUSANDS.
THAT IS DONALD TRUMP'S DESPERATION ON DISPLAY, THE DESPERATION TO DIMINISH THE LOSS OF 13 AMERICANS IN HIS WAR IN IRAN, WHICH HAS SO FAR ACCOMPLISHED NOTHING. AND TO DO THAT, DONALD TRUMP DESPERATELY LIES.