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Hello beautiful people from all over the world! So excited to see you again for day two of the finish line.
So yesterday, I've seen some really beautiful photo collages in the group. I'm seeing a lot of celebrations. I'm seeing a lot of beautiful memories being made, and I'm so happy about that. Like remembering how the year went and capturing all the gold.
Now, why this is so important is because, as crazy as it sounds, we don't take enough time to just celebrate ourselves throughout the year. Even though you might have little moments to say, like, "Hey, good for me, I had this moment," a lot of the times, we're always thinking about the next thing we've got to do, and the next thing we've got to do, and the next thing we've got to do. And we don't often just sit back and look at how much good we've done and to let that build ourselves up.
Like, a lot of the work that I've done to take myself from really just not feeling like any big thing was possible in my life, to building a company that I'm completely in love with, and falling in love with Kevin, and rebuilding my relationship with my family to the best it could possibly be. Like, how all of that happened in my life was by really compounding the good. And not just letting it be like, "Oh, I did a good thing. Cool. I have to do it again, or else it doesn't count." "Oh, I did a good thing. Cool. What's the next good thing I've got to do?" As if it's like it expires the minute it's over.
Well, good thing's done. Next, you know, really building the energy and creating that momentum is really what changed my identity. And a lot of the work that I do with my clients in Alpha FM is identity work. It's going through these programs and reworking who we are on a cellular level, from our thoughts, to our feelings, to our energy, to the way we contemplate, to the way we look at a year in hindsight or in the future. Like, the mind starts to change.
And this is why this work is so powerful. Is because if you, if you do this year after year after year, eventually the way you think about yourself changes. When you take the time to extract all, all the incredible things you've done, instead of just bypass, you start to build yourself up. Like, "This was a really great year." At the end of next year, "This is a really great year."
Now, there are still some things to look at when things don't work out. And a lot of people do this as well, in a kind of an immature way. They think of all the great things that happened, and then they don't want to think about the tough stuff. They just completely shut them out and go, "Let's not think about the bad stuff. La la la, look at all the good stuff. This is great. 2025, yay!" Like, they don't want to look at the bad stuff. And it makes sense because the bad stuff doesn't feel good, obviously.
But the fact is, there is all the wisdom in looking and contemplating and pulling stuff out. And so the reason, and I, people ask me this all the time, like, "How are you so wise? Like, how, how do you have so much wisdom at your age?" And I'm like, "I think it's because of how much time I spend contemplating lessons learned. I really don't bypass mistakes. I don't let bad feelings go without paying attention to why they're there. I don't let something feel bad without extracting something powerful from it. I contemplate everything."
And I feel like what that does is it gives me this wider range of ability to feel, to think, to, to be with the truth, and also to shift the truth, and to feel like I'm strong enough to look at it. So the next part of this finish line is to now look at what didn't work. And I love saying it like that. What didn't work. Instead of what was terrible, what was awful, where did I fail, where did I not hit my goal, where did I not do the thing I, I said I was going to do. Like, just what didn't work.
Because there are things in life that just don't work. You can try something with all of your heart, and it doesn't work. It doesn't mean anything bad. Like, Walt Disney went to the bank how many times, and it didn't work. Every time, until one day it worked. You know, Thomas Edison with the light bulb. Like, with, like, with whatever was ever created in life, it's like, "I've got it. This didn't work. This didn't work." But we're so attached to what that means. Like, "I failed. Like, I'm not good. Like, this year is a failure." Or, or whatever it is that we're doing. Like, "I'm wrong."
Instead of just, "It didn't work." But the "it didn't works" are so important at the end of a year. Because if you don't look at them, you do them again. And this is the perfect example for me is Thomas Edison, who, I mean, the number of attempts varies. Some people say it was like 3,000 times. Other people say it was 10,000 times. I don't know how many attempts, but it was a lot. And the fact is, he said, "I didn't, I didn't find 10,000. I didn't fail 10,000 times. I just found 10,000 ways not to make a light bulb."
What does that mean? I didn't fail. I just found 10,000 ways that it doesn't work. And I feel like that is the wisest mindset from a person who's done so much trial and error in their life and eventually invented one of the greatest inventions of all times. That wisdom is so powerful. "I just figured out all the ways that didn't work before I found out what did work." And isn't that what life is all about?
You wouldn't want a little kid to say, "I failed at walking. And I failed at writing." You just be like, "No, you didn't. You're just figuring out what doesn't work. You're just figuring out your balance. You're figuring out how, how you can stand and how you can't. When you stand on this part of your foot, you fall on the floor." Like, you're figuring it out. What works and what doesn't work. You're figuring it out. We've got to see it for ourselves like that.
And that's where life starts to feel like the beginning. Like life starts to, life starts to feel like we're learning. Life starts to feel like everything could get better from here. And so the only way for 2025 to start to feel like we're becoming, we're learning, we're growing, is if it feels like the things that didn't work were actually moving us closer to what does work. There are things that didn't work on the way to unlocking what did work.
So I want you to look at this part of your life with a very different eye than you may have been looking at it, or that it, you may have looked at it in the past. If in the past, when anything fails or anything goes wrong, you really see it like, "There's something wrong with me." And even though in your mind you know it's not what you should do, and even though logically you get it, that's still what you do. Say "I" or raise your hand if it's still often happens that you do that, right? So we're human. This isn't a question of like, "Oh, you're enlightened. You're perfect." It's like, we're all human.
So this part of the year is so important because throughout the year, you may have had things that didn't work, and in the moment, you weren't able to face them fully. In the moment, you just tried to pass, just try to get through the pain, or the anguish, or the disappointment, or the shame, just to not quit and not give up because you still had stuff to do, and you still had people to take care of, and you still had, there was no time to sit and just think about it.
But now, I want you to really think about it from a different perspective. In 2024, what didn't work? What didn't work that when you look at this, you're like, "I want to learn from this because I do not want to do this again in 2025." And one of the, the ways that you'll probably find this is as you're looking through your memories to make your hindsight board, you're going to also see pictures of things that you're like, "Oh, I remember how the rest of that day went." Or, "There's a person in this I don't talk to anymore. We ended up having a fight somewhere in the middle of the year." Or, "Oh, I remember back then, that was right before the big month, big financial month, and then I was never able to do it again." Or, "Oh, I've got pictures of a launch I thought was going to be the greatest launch ever that weren't."
You're going to see the beautiful memories, but they're also going to ring bells. Like, "Oh, yeah, there's going to be moments of sadness. And there's going to be moments of grief. But there's also going to be moments of breakthrough." Like, "Oh, yeah, that really didn't work."
Now, this part is important because sadness and grief is not necessarily what didn't work. You know, there's moments of sadness that are just part of your life. There's nothing to work on it, exactly. Like what I'm doing, all my memories, I'm going through Hawaii. I see the exact day we got the phone call that Dad's, that Kevin's dad had fallen, and that he was in hospital. Like, I've got it. I know exactly what day it was. When I saw the day it was like, "Oh." When we made it back to February, we had him here at our house. He looked so different. And seeing those memories, seeing him there, is like, there's a sadness there. But there is no "what didn't work." There's just a sadness.
And so you're allowed to grieve that. And you're allowed to have space for a beautiful sadness. And you're allowed to do that. Or what you can do is say, "Even what does the sadness teach me as a lesson?" Now, I don't expect that we should do this always in our life. I don't think every single time you're sad, you'll automatically bypass the sadness to find the lesson. But in this finish line process, this is definitely the time to do that.
So, for example, it can be one thing I really learned even more is how, how things can change, change in an instant. How much more gratitude to have for everybody's health and everybody's well-being. Like, sometimes you don't think about it because everybody's doing well. But the moments in your life where everyone is doing well, that's a short period of time. Then eventually parents start to grow older. And then, you know, cousins and siblings and aunts and uncles. And it goes back. It goes fast.
So when you're taking life for granted when everyone's healthy, and one person stumbles, falls, or passes, there's something about realizing, "Whoa, I've got to spend more time being grateful for my life, my health, my family, my people. Making more time to be together. Forgiving." Maybe there's lessons there. So if you find yourself feeling sad about something, it's not about fixing the sad. But it's about asking you, "What does this sadness bring as a, with a gift? Like, what does it carry with it?" Because sadness is also full of wisdom.
So if you have a sadness, even if it's a breakup sad, s, if it's a, a sadness for loss of revenue, or a job, or a friend, or whatever it is, it's like, "What gift of wisdom can this sadness bring if I allow it? And how much more present could this make me in 2025 if I allow it?" So you would look, if there's ever any grief or sadness that you encounter, that's the question to contemplate. "What do this moment, or what does this, this sadness, or this grief bring with it as a gift?"
And when you look at the things that don't work, there's two things you're going to do. You're going to look at the thing that doesn't work, that didn't work. But be, as you write it, the next step is you're going to ask yourself, "What do I want to do differently about it next year?" So you're not going to do, like we did on the first one, where you're just contemplating and you're writing, "Here's what didn't work. Here's what didn't work. Here's what didn't work." Because what we don't want to do is compound the sadness.
So there is such a thing about compound emotions. And how this works, basically, is that when you feel happy, and then you feel happy that you're happy, and then you start to feel giddy that you're happy that you're happy, and then it's exciting that you're giddy that you're happy that you're happy. And next thing you know, you're excited that you're excited that you're giddy that you're happy that you're happy. There's this compound effect that you don't want to break the momentum. You just want to ride that wave and just think of more things that create that feeling.
But when we're sad, we don't want to start feeling sad, and then sad that we're sad, and then scared that we're sad that we're sad, and then disappointed that we're scared that we're sad that we're sad. Because that also compounds. So I don't want you to start just writing down all the stuff that didn't work and everything that makes you sad in a list. Because that's what's going to start happening. You'll be like, "Good grief, what kind of year was this? This is terrible." So we don't want to do that.
We want to interrupt every "what didn't work" with "what would I do differently next year?" "What would I do differently next time?" "What do I want to do differently?" So let's say, for example, you look through January in your phone, and you see what worked. You've got your New Year's Day was amazing. The second was amazing. You had a date night in January that was really great. You had a girl's brunch that was incredible. Yeah, guilty that you're sad. Exactly.
Um, you know, you had a girls, girls brunch in the morning. Then you had a family get-together for someone's birthday at the end of January. You had a big week that was really successful. You've got all this list of things that you love. But then you also notice, "Gosh, that friend I haven't texted since January." That feels bad. Okay, what, what do I want to do about it next year? And then you would write down, "In 2025, I want to prioritize my friendship with this person." Or, "I want to prioritize all my friendships." And the way I feel compelled to do that, as it stands right now, with the wisdom of the end of this year, is by calling more, by booking events and saying, like, "Let's do friends time every three months." Or, "Let's book our next thing while we're at the thing we're already doing." Like, "Let's not lose sight of each other before we've already decided when we're seeing each other next."
I'm realizing, and what I'm learning, and the wisdom is showing me, "Out of sight, out of mind." So I want to make sure I'm deciding to see my friend again when I'm seeing them. So it's the end of the time. "Okay, perfect. When's our next time?" "Okay, that's a really good idea. I'm going to try that in 2025." So no matter what it is that you're noticing, you're saying, "Okay, then."
You might say, "Oh my gosh, we, I had a date night with my partner in January, followed by the feeling that was the only one. Oops. We did. We had such high hopes for our relationship in 2025. And really, we were, we were so connected in January. But then we had like an almost Valentine's Day, but things didn't work out. And then the rest of the year was just crazy, and we lost sight of it." So you don't want to start going down that rabbit hole of like, "And now, when I really think about it, we really, we were in this year, blah, blah, blah." You don't want to do that.
You want to say, "Okay, so what do I want to do about that next year?" "I would love for us to have a date night to remember once a quarter, or once a month." You know, "I want us to have one in the house, one out somewhere, and one overnight somewhere every quarter." Because by, by the time I do this again next year, I want to have 12 memories at least with my partner that really stand out. And if there's more, I'll celebrate that. But at least that. And I want to prioritize it. And I really, this is so important to me.
So can you see how instead of just getting to the end of the year and saying, "Ugh, this year I really didn't spend a lot of time with my partner, and I really need to do better at that next year." There's something more beautiful about the thought, "Okay, this is what I did. This is what I want to do next year." It's like, "This is the wisdom this year gave me. The wisdom to know, okay, let me see."
There's a couple of questions here. Um, "I'm going to put all the courses I did with you on the board. I'm grateful." Ah, I love that. "What about friendships you let go of, but it feels incomplete on my end because there was no closure?" Well, my feeling is this, in relationships, and this is a Fem Fatal kind of process. And Fatal happens at the beginning of the year. There's two different ways to get closure. There's closure with people, and there's closure without people. Because sometimes you have to have closure with a person who's passed. You can't have the closure with the person. It's not always fair to want closure with a person if we still don't want them in our lives.
So let's say, for example, "I still don't want you as a friend in my life, but I want closure with you." It's kind of selfish for me to, to say, "Okay, well, I want to, I want to call you to, to really, really close this, just make sure we're, we're never going to be friends again, but I just feel like I really need to get myself totally clear about that." But there are processes that you can do that are like, "Let me close this out for myself."
So what you might look at is, "What didn't work for me is I let go of a friendship this year, but I don't feel closure." So what I really want for myself in 2025, for example, "I want to take the Fem Fatal program, and I want the focus of the Fem Fatal program to be closure with that friend." Or, "I want to find someone who does cord cutting." Or, "I want to do some sort of, um, you know, life coaching package with somebody's going to help me cut the cord on this." Or even just, "I'm going to prioritize this myself, and I'm going to do the work around it."
But that ends up being part of the things you're going to get to celebrate in 2025. It's going to be part of the things you're going to get to look at at the end of your year and say, "Wow, I really did the work on that." And so you'll notice a lot of people, when we were doing the celebrations, when I was reading through all the milestones, a lot of people were like, "I healed the stuff. And Fatal. I did the this. I did the that." Like, you think it's simple to say, "Well, what if I did the work? What if I hired the mentor? What if I did the thing?" But then, what if by the end of next year, when you're thinking about all the things you've done in hindsight, taking that program and healing your thing, like, if that's part of your celebrations, it's a huge deal.
And so that's why deciding by the end of the year what you're going to do for next year has so much power. Because you declare it, and that's a really powerful thing that you do for yourself at the end of the year. But then at the end of next year, you get to celebrate that you did it. Which I think is such an important piece of the puzzle. We want to declare things, and then we want to celebrate them when we've done them. That really changes things completely.
"How do we make peace and find wisdom with the end of friendships when they're not aligned anymore?" And so this is again, is like, if the end of a friendship is no longer aligned, you know that the, the way to do it is to complete the friendship. That's, that's what needs to be done. But it still hurts. So you would say, "What didn't work is one of the friendships that I had, and so I ended it. But I also didn't totally focus on getting closure and feeling better about it myself." And so, "In 2020, I want to make sure the friendships that I have are super aligned. And I also want to make sure that I'm focusing on the closure when I make decisions for myself." That I don't just make the decisions and then let myself feel the openness of it all year. I realize I probably could have prioritized doing this work for myself earlier. But I'm doing it for myself in 2025. You're, you're looking for, "Okay, this isn't complete for me. So what do I want to do differently about it?"
Okay, uh, let's say you continue going down the line. You realize, "Gosh, I really didn't go all in with my business. Really didn't go all in." When I look at it, I, I can see how I had such high hopes for launches, and I had such high hopes for so many things. And then I, I look at how I actually did them, and I didn't get the results that I wanted. Okay, so that didn't work. What do I want for next year? "I want to feel like I gave it my all." Because it's hard for me to say what else didn't work when the thing I keep thinking is, "I didn't give it my all." It's like, I could say, "Oh, my branding wasn't pretty enough, and my marketing wasn't this enough, and I didn't launch enough." But the fact is, it's all the same. It's, "I didn't go all in." And I know that I, I let the fears stop me. I let my doubts stop me. I waited to see if it would get more comfortable before I did something about what I wanted. I didn't just go, "Like it was going to happen." I, I waited. I, I, I waited.
So what do I want to do in 2025? "I'm in. I want to find the courage. I want to make the moves. I'm going to do it." So you're getting yourself, no matter what didn't work, you're immediately getting what you want to do differently out of it. So you're never compounding the bad stuff. And on top of it, you've got a wisdom that comes out after every single one of them. This is building your power. Because we know the solution to most of the conundrums in our life. We just spend so much time feeling bad about how we feel that we don't think about what we can do about it. But you have so much more power than you think.
And to me, the art of contemplation, and the way that I think about the things that don't work in my life, is a big part of what, what changed my life. I don't think about what doesn't work just to think about what doesn't work. I don't take time to think about how upset I am, or how disappointed that I am, just to feel the feeling. It's like, I can feel the feeling, but then once I'm ready to think about it, like, I can feel the feeling of being sad about something, but I will feel that feeling. Just, I'll feel it. I'm not going to go compound it with thoughts that support the feeling, because that's just making myself miserable for nothing. By the time it's time to think about it, I'm going to contemplate it with a powerful self. Like, "What am I doing about this?" And this is how all the wisdom comes in. And it's how things really turn around very fast in my life.
And so 2025 is now going to start to start shaping itself up for you. You're going to start to notice how you've already got a plan starting to happen for you, even without thinking too much about, "Okay, let me make a plan." Just in thinking about what didn't work and what you would do differently, a plan is forming.
Um, okay, let's see. "Melanie, what if we did go all in and it just didn't work yet? Any thoughts, questions, or contemplation I can to confound the wisdom and great feelings?" Well, I would go with each thing individually. So instead of putting a blanket statement like, "What if I did everything and what if I did go in on everything and it still didn't work?" I would look at things specifically. So this particular area, this particular thing, here's what did work, here's what didn't work, and then simply, "What do I want to do differently next year?" Instead of thinking, "Why didn't it work?" Because you might not always know that. It might just be to ask yourself, "Okay, so that did not necessarily work. What do I want to do differently the next year? What does my intuition tell me would be good to focus on? What would I like to put a twist on that's different? What am I feeling called to add or change or subtract or pivot on?" You know, this is where the magic occurs. It's not always like, "How do I fix what didn't work?" It's, "What would I do differently?"
Um, and so the art of contemplation, there's two things. You can write it out and journal if you're more of a writer. You can sit with a partner and talk about it if you've got a person in your life that's a really great listener. You can hire a mentor or coach and and talk about it on certain sessions. You can voice memo yourself. Go on walks and just voice memo for yourself and then listen them back to yourself. For me, contemplation is a, a mix of all of it. So sometimes I'll just think with a voice memo. Sometimes I'll sit and I'll write. If it's a really powerful contemplation, sometimes I'll contemplate with Kevin. You know, it just kind of depends where and what it's for. But the big picture, the goal of contemplation is that through, through talking it out and thinking about it, you're purposefully deciding to give your energy to to a greater ending, or to a greater, um, result.
So a lot of times when we think we're not thinking about creating a greater result with our thoughts, we're thinking about trying to fix what's broken, trying to figure out what's wrong, trying to think about what to do. It's all very small and tight and stuck. So contemplation kind of opens your, the package of your mind. It gets you thinking bigger and further. It's a bigger vision way of thinking. Instead of, "What can I do to fix how I feel?" or "What can I do to fix my problem?" It's like, "What have I learned? What does this tell me? How can I see things differently? What would I do differently now, having known that?" It kind of stretches your mind. So that's the difference between just thinking and contemplating, or just journaling and contemplating. It's the deep and expansive vision that comes with that kind of thought.
So what's going to happen now is you are going to have what worked, which are all your incredible memories, all your celebrations. You're going to have what didn't work, all the things that see that you're like, "Nope, did not do that, or did not nail that." And then with every one of those, you're not going to write a list. You're going to go one at a time, "What am I going to do? And what do I want to do differently?"
So I'm going to ask you a question. Do you feel at this stage in your life that you believe yourself when you say you're going to do something different? Like, let's say we say 10 is 100%. "If I tell myself I'm going to do something different, I know I will." And zero or one being, "As when I tell myself I'm going to do something differently, there is a part of me that's like, 'We'll see.'" Perfect. So whatever number you get, this is how, this is how to to navigate.
If your number is high, like seven, eight, nine, 10, you're going to see that when I tell you what works, what didn't work, what do you want to do differently, that is a complete sequence. Because by the time you're telling yourself what you would do differently, you already know you're going to do the thing differently. It feels like you've already got a plan. It feels like you're already in motion to get things going. It feels like the, the new beginning is already on the way. Because the minute you say, "Here's what I would do differently," the new beginning has already started moving.
Now, on the other side, there's the people who are like, "Okay, so medium. It kind of depends. It depends what, and it depends when." So sometimes I'll be like, "Okay, yes, I'm going to do it." But somewhere inside of me, I'm like, "Oh, I don't know if I'm actually going to do that." So if that's how it is, sometimes yes, sometimes no. No. What's good about the sometimes yes is that you can tell that there's things you're fully behind, and there's other things that you're not fully behind. And it doesn't necessarily mean that you have no self-esteem. It means that you're selective in what you go all in with. And that, that's probably the majority of people is like, you're just selective with what you go all in with.
So yes to this, and I'm going to do it, and I'm sure 100%. And this one, well, I say I want to, but I also know as I'm saying I want to, that I'm probably not going to. And have that feeling. And then there's the people who are more like zero to three or four. And that is when your self-esteem usually is at an all-time low. Because you're like, "No matter what, even if I want to more than ever, I can't get myself to." Or, "I don't really believe that I can." And so no matter where you are in the process, personal development work is always going to be important. Mindset work is always going to be important.
But you're going to realize that when things are already going well in your life, you have circumstantial power. Which means you don't actually have to do as much mindset work to get yourself to do the thing. Because you're there energetically. You're saying to yourself, "I believe I'm going to do it." You're saying, "I'm going to change it." And you know you're going to. And so everything's on on the same page. Where we really need the mindset work, and where it's important that we become very, very attuned with ourselves, is in the gaps where we're like, "If I'm being very honest, I don't think I'm actually going to do anything about this." This is where we really have to tighten up our relationship with ourselves.
Because ultimately, my word, this is one of my favorite thoughts in life, is like, "My word is worth more than my signature on paper." Having that standard and saying, "I want to be the kind of person that when I tell myself I'm going to do something, there is no doubt because I just know that I will." And I'm not perfect. But if that's my standard, I can always be thriving to that. I can be reaching to that.
Let me see this. "What if in the past it's been a five, but a major life event occurs demanding your attention to be pulled away? Is this maybe a forgiveness process to be able to move forward and start again?" So here's a big thing. When you are wanting to to say, "My word is worth more than my signature on paper," this is my standard in life. You equally have to be good at saying no to things that are a no.
And when you think about a big life event that makes so that you've got to shift your focus and you've got to do something, that means someone asks you to do something, or you want to make a promise about something. You say, "This is not my focus this year." You will say, "I'm not going to be able to come to that." Or, "No, I won't be present." Instead of, "Yes, I'll do my best," and then don't, don't go, don't show up, don't do it, and then give the excuse that difficult things have been happening. You're allowed to not prioritize things for a while. You're allowed to say, "In this exact season, I've got a lot to to handle with in my family, or my marriage, or my kids, or my health, or whatever it is." And so, "I won't come this time because I'm really focusing on that."
So your word being law, your word being worth more than your signature on paper, also means learning how to say no when you know the answer is no. Sometimes you say yes to not make people feel bad, and you already know you're not going to do it. That starts to hit your self-esteem. It also starts to hit that ratio where you can't really fully say, "Yes, 10 out of 10, I trust myself." Because you know if it involves other people, you might say, "Oh, maybe I'll do my best."
"I don't really know how to do a relationship with my mom any different, but I do desire change." "Do you have done Fem Fatal yet?" "That would definitely be, I would take Fem Fatal and I would say, my focus of this round is my relationship with my mother." And I, I would say, "This is, this is my focus for this round." And I think you'd be entirely mind-blown by what happens. Um, "I'm so glad with that. I'm selective with what I go 100% on because this drops a lot of shame on what I don't feel 100%." I like that.
Let's see. "How do you build? Okay, how do you build a better standard where did that go?" "How do you build a better standard for keeping your word?" "I always mean well. My start is so strong, but my finish is weak." So this is, this is what I love about what I'm doing for you right now at the finish line. Is this is something you could definitely do at the end of every week if you want, at the end of every day if you want, at the end of every month. Like, you get to decide how often you want to check in with your alignment.
If you're, this is something I found about myself. I'm really good at the at the beginning when I'm excited and I'm fresh out the gate. I'm excited. I'm good. And then as the energy starts to dwindle, or as I get excited about something else, the other thing starts to fall a little bit. So how often do you need to have start dates and end dates? Do you need to check in with yourself every week? Because if you're excited at the start, unless at the end, and you only do the start at the start of the year, the rest of the year is going to be like this. But if you do a start to finish every week, well, then you're good. Monday, Tuesday. And maybe it slows down after. But now you've got two solid days a week where you're starting. So it's also learning to use our own frequency and our own energies. I'm good at the start. I'm good at the start of the day, the start of the week, the start of the month, start of the year. So let me play with that energy.
Let's see. "But isn't the reason, but isn't the reason I'm a 9.5 for sure when I say I'm going to do something because I've already weighed in whether or not I'll be able to commit?" In other words, by the time I say that I will do something, I have determined that there is a way for me to do it, and I'm going all in. I'm not sure I understand what that means. Isn't the reason I'm a 9.5 for sure when I say I'm going to do something is because I've already weighed in whether or not I'll be able to commit? That's the idea. Like, by the time you commit to something, you're only saying yes if you know for sure that you can do it. And unless something really outside the box happens that you were not expecting, and you really can't, then you know you, you're going to honor what, what you've got to do. And then the 9.5 is a crazy extraordinary score to give yourself.
"Is the stick-to-it affected by emotional authority?" I mean, this, this depends if your stuff is really specific. So in the way that I'm talking about this, we're looking on a wider scale. So I can have, even with my sacral authority in Human Design, I can have an "uh-uh" day. I can have an "uh-uh" hour. But ultimately, if it's in alignment with what I want in the big picture, and I constantly check in with it, there's going to be an "aha" day. There's going to be a moment where I'm like, "Yeah, let's do it." Now, so it's just not deciding, "Oh, because I felt no about it today, I never check back in with it again." It's learning how to navigate your, your guidance system. Sometimes the energy of the old pattern and what didn't work feels active. And what helped so much is practicing the art of differentiation between repeating a pattern, recognizing that energy is asking to be processed, and showing my nervous system it's safe to feel this and let, let it shift into what could benefit me in the next chapter. I love that. That's brilliant.
"I think I'm stuck because we need, we need to do retrospectives every month. So I feel like I've already looked looked at what didn't work and made the changes. So this is really good. But there's things that on a month-to-month basis." So here's how that would change. If you've been really good with doing month-to-month being retrospective in all areas of your life, there are things that you can't just measure it by a month. There are things that take multiple months. There are things that you can only judge over the course of the year. So you would look at things where it's like, "Well, it doesn't really make sense for me to ask myself this month, did I succeed or fail?" Because it's like, "Well, it's, it's stretched on a much bigger period of time than that." So I would look at the bigger pictures. And yeah, mid-year Manifesto is obviously good because in the middle of the year, we kick ourselves back into shape.
"I met a man and had a spark, and since then I've been hiding. How do I let go of my broken heart done by another, and I've been working on my shadow since Fatal?" So I think the big thing is, you don't have to let go of your broken heart. It's more, "How do I live my life fully as my heart mends?" Like, I don't need to wait for my heart to be mended to live again. I don't need to fix this broken heart for life to also be beautiful. And this, this helps me a lot is to imagine the perspective of, of this as like a small child. So you imagine a 12-year-old's first ever boyfriend heartbreak. You know, it's like, how do they let go of their broken heart? Is that really what you want the 12-year-old to do? Let go of their broken heart? No. Do you want them to stop living? Stop going out with their friends? Stop being young and free and happy until the heart mends? No. What do we want for the 12-year-old? We want them to learn to live fully while the broken heart mends. And so that's what we want for the child. That's what we want for the grownup.
"I feel resistance to doing this evaluation process." So there's two things here. It is normal to not want to look at some of the stuff that didn't feel good in the year. But what I've really found is the years that I've bypassed this piece, the years where I didn't do this part, I made a lot of the mistakes more than once in my life because I never took the time to really consciously and maturely look at what happened and say, "Hmm, that did not work." And you know what? I've got to do in 2025, I got to do this. Because I didn't take the time to do that when the opportunity came for the exact same mistake, I, I made the same mistake. And so the wisdom is in saying, the, the failure, or the, the things that didn't work, were worth it if the lesson I got causes me to grow. And that's what this part of the process is for.
"What program would you recommend for keeping word to yourself?" Everything. Fatal and Alpha to Alpha. Okay, let's see. "Have you always been sacred with your promises to yourself?" No. Like, this has, this is the new me. M-an layer. Like, until the age of 25, I could not keep a promise to save my life. I could not. Every single thing I tried to do, eventually I gave up on everything. The fact that I have a business right now that I've been consistent with, a name, a brand, programs, a company that I lead, that I've had now since 2017. The fact that that has happened is such a testament to my growth. I gave up everything I ever started. Like, I work on things now. I evolve things. I'm make them greater and better. And I, I gain the wisdom that I need. And I make every year better. Like, "Oh my gosh, this is the greatest transformation. This is one of my greatest transformations."
"How do you differentiate between aligned action towards desires and pushing through when it doesn't feel right, but things need to be done?" So usually, when things don't feel right, but they need to be done, it's stuff that's just kind of boring and menial. This is what, what I found for myself. So let's say, for example, if it's aligned, if it's an aligned action, it's because by doing it, it creates the result that I want. If pushing through it, and it doesn't feel right, but it needs to be done, it's usually because there's something that I want, and I don't believe that there's an aligned way to get it done. Now, in my life, I don't have that anymore. But I do remember having to go to a job I didn't like in order to make some money to survive, which the job was not an alignment at all whatsoever. But like, having absolutely no money also didn't work. So I did what I didn't necessarily want to do in order to make money. But then when I realized I could do things that I love in order to make money, then I always did things that were in alignment to get to where I wanted to go.
You know, if you think of things like paying taxes. So, okay, well, it doesn't feel fun to pay taxes. It doesn't feel good in my body to do that. But it needs to be done. But it's like, is that true that it's not an alignment? Or does me having a squeaky clean company, that is such a beautiful example of how to do a business well done for my clients and for the women who learn from me? Like, for me to be an example like that for the coaching industry? Like, I've had calls from really big people in the banking industry and the, uh, tax, tax of Quebec, and things like that, being like, "Your, we've never seen a coaching company do what your coaching company does." Like, I'm setting a real vision, like for all of us that are have coaching businesses. Like, I am creating a legitimacy in the with the government. I'm creating a legitimacy with the world, with the banks. You know, like, I, when I first went to buy a house, the banks tore up my application when they knew I was a coach. Now, that very same bank has loaned me millions of dollars. My, my projects knows that that I'm a coach, and actually has invited us to come and put all of our mortgages and give us everything we ever asked for. But it's like, now all of a sudden, I've got the proof of a business that works behind me. Me. I've got the greatest tax companies doing my taxes. I'm, I'm known. And I am, and like, I've done it right. And so now, to me, paying taxes feels like an example. It feels like proof of concept. Like, is there also a way for you to look at the story differently? Because normally, if it's out of alignment, it means that it's not in alignment with your goals, your future, what you're trying to do. Or it means that you're thinking it's the only way to do it, and there isn't an aligned way to do it. Or
It's just the way you're thinking about it, that's my perspective. How can one check with their alignment? Can you elaborate more? So I feel like that was helpful. I have so many ideas of what I can do differently for 2025. This is so good. I think I felt disappointed with myself, but now I realize how resilient I am. Since joining Alpha fam, I realized how my emotions and energy was completely all over the place. This is huge. I'm thinking about how impactful it would have been if I'd have done this before, and I definitely repeated mistakes. I know I had the same thoughts when I realized this. How do you get back when the goal is not met? I've been so hard on myself because of this, and I think I'm wrong. And I've compounded this with sadness.
Okay, I love this question. So you see, when you think about a life, we have a whole life ahead of us. What does one year really represent? What does it symbolize? If it, if it symbolizes that everything you've done in a year, you've either succeeded or you failed. The year you've either done everything you were supposed to do or you failed, and now you've got to start all over next year. Or you see it like every year is a step in your life. It's a building block. So whatever you did this year that worked, or whatever you learned this year from what didn't work, that's a building block for your life. So if we take it back to little kids, if you have a little kid that had a bad breakup with a friend, had their heart broken, you know, 10, 10, 11 years old, 12 years old, first love, heartbroken, big blowout fight with a friend that year, and really didn't do so great in school. Those are three really big things. But would you be like, they didn't meet their goal, how do they get back up in their next year of life? Or do they have to see it like, this is a part of your, this is just a building block, this is not your whole life, this is one year? You would want them to get right back on it. You'd want them to be able to make peace with what happened, learn from what there is to learn from, and get back on the other year. Like from what I've learned now, here's what I'm going to do. But it's so strange, and I don't know how it happens, but grown-ups tend to put all of the pressure of their life on the one year they're currently living, as if this is the one year. But it's like, what if this is a pivot year? What, what if this is the recalibration year? What if this year was needed in order to get you on the right path? So how I've started living all my years is, there is no big goal for one year. There's big goals for my life, and they come together one year at a time. So when you see that one year was a lot of mistakes, instead of putting it out like it's a wash or you didn't do well, you say, well, okay, what are all the lessons I've learned this year that I needed in order for next year to do this, and the year after to do that, and the year after to do this? Because we're building our entire lives one year at a time. And that's the whole point of my Resolution Revolution program is to be like, what are we going to do with this year, and how far can we go, and how much can we create? Because then there's next year, and then there's the year after that, and then there's the year after that. So if you use every year like a building block instead of a measurement stick for your life, instead of starting over every year, okay, never mind, scratch that year, let's start over. If instead it was like, here's what worked, here's what didn't work, here's what I'm doing differently, building block. Next year, here's what works, here's what didn't work, here's what's gonna we're going to do differently, building block. If you do that, we're in a totally different game. And that's what started changing my life. Because then the compound effect kicks in. It's not stop and go. It's not start and start over. It's build, adapt, grow. Build, adapt, celebrate, grow. Build, adapt, celebrate, grow. Build, adapt, celebrate, grow. And it, it gets into this momentum that's quite spectacular.
Okay, let's see. Thank you for doing this during non-busy time. I often struggle to attend because of the hours that the program are offered. I know I can watch them on replay, but the energy doesn't ever feel the same to me. So thank you for so much for being here right now. Well, it is my absolute pleasure. A thank you.
How do you know the difference between continuing to build and persevere if this isn't working and needing to pivot? Well, I think it's, there is never a need to pivot. There's just, you're allowed to pivot. Like you decide, I'm going to, I'm going to do this until it works, period. That's it. It's what Thomas Edison did. It's what Disney did. They broke through. Or you say, you know what, I don't want to do this anymore. I want to pivot. But if you, if there's something you want to see made real in your life, just don't give up. You'll get there eventually. I don't believe in giving up on anything, really. But it's your life. So if you want to give up, you're allowed all the time to give up. But I don't think there's ever a time where you should give up. It's just you're allowed to, which is very different.
Okay, I do things I don't want to do daily, but they transform to pleasurable as I apply myself and think of how I feel after. Oh, I like that. I don't really know how to do Rel. Okay, that one we've done. I'm going to do boring, menial things in the God zone. I love that. I'm about to turn 50, and I, I feel like I'm disappointed it's taking me so long, but I'm grateful I'm alive and healthy to course correct. I wonder if you're a six line in Human Design. Um, I've had so many clients pivot after 60, after 50, it's not even funny. Like, I think I'm just so excited about what's happening for womenkind because like, one of my favorite examples is my client Lynn, who's turned 63 this year and is celebrating three six-figure months in her business. Like she's just decided she's doing it this year, and it's just all happening. And just, she just started now. Like she just started four years ago. She was like, I'm doing this. We did it. Like it doesn't matter how old you are. It doesn't matter. None of it matters. Like it's just your life is now. It's always going to feel like now. That's the crazy thing. It's like, do it now because it'll only ever feel like now anyway. In five years from now, it'll feel like now. And in 10 years from now, it'll feel like now. And 10 years ago, it felt like now. And now it feels like now. So might as well do something about it now because it's the only time it ever feels is now. The number is more cerebral than anything else. I realize I retro my business monthly, but not all the other areas of my life. This is super helpful. That's good. Um, okay, let's see. Let's see. A building block instead of a measuring stick. Gold, gold, gold. I love this. I'm, I'm glad that landed. I used to get down on myself for pivoting. Now I reframe it to say recalibrating. Oh, I like that. How strong is your wife? Pivot has become such a dirty word in business. Pivot will always mean turning the couch in the staircase for me. It will never mean anything else. The Friends scene where Ross can't fit the couch saying pivot. That's what it is to me. It's like, if it doesn't fit, pivot. But no, not pivot like quit. Pivot like adapt. What doesn't work? Pivot just is just a little tweak, a little pivot. Just, it's not like give up. It's just tweak a little bit. That's what it means for me. Thank you, Linda. We're always right on time. I'm 61 and I'm turning around. Yes, it's insane. Six line here, and that part always offers hope. Just turned 49 last week. Happy birthday. I'm my am your four-year-old pineapple. I love when you say that.
How do we navigate being in family relationships that have a lot of energy or negative, a lot of negative energy, if there's nothing being done to you or crossing of boundaries necessarily, but it's just a lot of negative energy? I will tell you, no matter what happens in your life, you're the, you're the, the cornerstone of it all. So if you're like, what didn't work this year is I got very affected by the negative energy in my family. What do I want to do differently next year is I want to become more resilient in the face of the negative energy around my family. It's like, how can I grow from this? Where can I source wisdom from this? Why did God, mother nature, or the universe give me people that test me so much? Because there are people I love that I don't want to give up on, which means the only thing I can do is learn and evolve and grow and find patience. Okay, that's what I want for 2025.
Okay, let's see. Let's see. Let's see. My biggest challenge is feeling the feeling and the God zone. I still don't know how to process anger and sadness. So this, if you, what I would do is I would do Fem Fatal with the thought, I want to learn to process my sadness and anger in the God zone, and I would listen to everything through that filter. You'd be mind blown what's going to happen. Pivoting in January from narcissistic relationships to overall power and beauty. That's so good. I had a program starting last week on only one registration. I've pivoted, and it's so expansive for me and the person who registered. This is wonderful. I need to send that pivot meme to my VA so we can pull it up every time and laugh. Yes, I'm so grateful you exist and that my frequency it was aligned to find you in the Alpha Fem ladies. I love that.
So here's the big piece of the puzzle, and this is why this work is so important. We have an entire life, but we don't know how long it lasts. So you can either think to yourself that there's this, this end goal that you're trying to achieve, and that if you didn't do it, you failed. Or you can realize that you've got this entire life to mold your becoming. And instead of trying to hit goals and targets, it's like you're molding your becoming. And you're not just molding your becoming, you're molding, you're becoming as you choose the experience while you mold, you're becoming. So it's not just about achieving the goal, it's how you felt while you achieved it, who you became while you achieved it, what was your life experience as you achieved it. So my desire for you to, when you look back at 2024, is that you actually pat yourself on the back for all the great things that you did. My other desire for you is that you look at your shortcomings from a different lens and actually see them as wisdom, like pockets of wisdom. I, I, I experienced that pain and look at the wisdom I got to get from it. And that's so going to help me in 2025. Really looking at it from a different perspective, really looking at it like, this is what it cost me, but this is what I received. Like there was a payoff for whatever went not right this year. There's wisdom, there's something that came out on the other side. And then what that will give you is a feeling of absolute strength, celebration for what was good, and excitement and a desire for what's coming. And what that does is it gives you one foot in gratitude for everything that was done well, and one foot in desire for change, for evolution, for more wisdom, for doing things in a different way, and seeing a different outcome. And that is the walk of evolution. One foot in gratitude, one foot in desire. One foot in gratitude, one foot in desire. One foot in gratitude, one foot in desire. And that's how we want to end this year. Not all in desire, and not all just like, okay, I'm grateful, let's do 2025. There was a lot of wisdom that you created and you achieved last year. There was, if you're brave enough to look at it and face your feelings around it, you'll get to use all of that wisdom for yourself for next year, and you'll be so, so, so, so glad that you did. So what, what should be happening in the group now, and what your homework really is, is you're going through all your memories and you're creating this hindsight board of everything that worked. You're building up an identity piece with the compound emotions. I'm so happy to read that, Linda. You're, you're seeing your emotions compound with everything that worked, and you're creating this hindsight board that's like, what a freaking year. And at the same time, you're going with what didn't work, and you're writing out the lessons and the things you want to do differently. And you feel really strong and wise, and it feels like a year that really taught you a lot. So you've got what you're celebrating and what you've learned, and you share those things in the group, what you're celebrating and what you learned. And tomorrow, we're going to do the last piece of the puzzle to close this year out in a way where you're like, bring on 2025. I have never been more ready for this. Let's go, let's go, let's go. I want you on New Year's Eve to feel more peace than you've ever felt felt in your whole entire life. To feel more openness for the future than you've ever felt, and more peace for a year than you've ever, ever, ever, ever felt before. This will be a New Year's Eve like never before. Like it will be the greatest feeling to get to that finish line and know you've done the work. So take the time, complete this. What worked? All your memories. Make the most beautiful vision board in hindsight of what you lived. The beautiful pictures, the words, all of it. And then you're going to do what didn't work, and what could you do differently? And you're going to go with all the lessons learned and all the plans that will be done differently in 2025. Collect that for yourself. If it feels like you want to share it in the group, do that. I love, I love reading your shares and seeing what you post in there. Enjoy the process. I hope you have the most beautiful day. If you've still got family over, enjoy time with the family. If it's more alone time, enjoy the alone time. I'm sending so much love and I look forward to seeing you tomorrow for the last piece of the puzzle.