How to NOT React to Thoughts

How to not react to thoughts? I mentioned this frequently. Uh, I have it in my book. I've mentioned it in my videos that it's really our ultimately our relationship with thought that causes the trouble, not the thoughts themselves. And one of the things I say is, learn how to not react to thoughts, or learn to investigate the reactivity around thoughts, and that will calm things and so forth.

But ultimately, one way or another, I tend to say that when we are reactive to thoughts, that's what it is that feels like struggle, suffering, um, dysphoria, uh, on and on and on. It also feels like the story of us that is the suffering one. It feels like our life is real in the way that we imagine our life, that our problems are real in the way we imagine our problems, that the external world and the internal world are real in the way we imagine them to be. I'm not even making a metaphysical claim here that none of that's real. I'm just saying that the way we imagine it is not at all the way it is, and the feeling of living that imagination as some kind of reality is so uncomfortable. That is what suffering is. That is what unsatisfactoriness is. So this is rooted in our reaction to thought.

So the question comes, and it was asked under one of my videos, "How do you not react to thoughts?" So first of all, I want to say about this that this is the kind of thing that you may have an aha moment about, something may click or shift about it, or you may even have an awakening and you will suddenly find yourself not reacting to thoughts. You will suddenly find this experience of flow, fluidity, openness, transcendence, um, even non-duality with a deep awakening. But you often won't even recognize that what has changed is that you're not reacting to thoughts. Uh, that is usually an insight that comes a lot later. So just know that, just know that it can happen suddenly, but it also is, uh, amenable to practice. It is amenable to practice with a certain kind of intention to investigate and settle and ultimately eliminate that reactivity in regard to thoughts. So that's what this video is about. How do you practice that? Not so much about trying to point you directly to awakening in this particular talk, although everything I talk about is pointing you to awakening, um, always. Uh, but this video specifically is in regard to that question: "How do I change my relationship with thought such that I'm not reacting to thoughts?"

So I'm going to give you some pointers here that are in no specific order, uh, but they are important aspects of how this can change for you because it changed for me, for sure. It's changed for many, many people I know. It really is what leads to equanimity. So here, here are some important points. Uh, one is, if you're so identified with thoughts that you don't even realize you're having them, uh, then the reactivity is going to be so unconscious that this will, this whole thing I'm talking about will sound very theoretical to you. So be aware that you have to become aware of thoughts as such to a certain degree before this is going to, this spell is going to break. Uh, now, often being that degree of thought identified is uncomfortable. It can be excruciatingly uncomfortable depending on your conditions, uh, your karmic conditions, your, uh, life conditions, your trauma or or lack of trauma or significance and pervasiveness of trauma, all of that can determine how uncomfortable it is to be that degree of identified with thought. For me, it was brutal. It was really, really uncomfortable, ongoing. Uh, for some people, though, and I want to point this out, it's not that uncomfortable a lot of the time, um, because we can strangely use that world of mind identification, thought identification, fantasy, distraction, we can use that to kind of avoid how uncomfortable it is to be identified with it. It's almost like a built-in self-protection mechanism of the dissociative mechanism itself. So just know there, there may be times when you don't feel uncomfortable here, or some people who don't really recognize that this is inherently uncomfortable, and I do think it is inherently uncomfortable. So that's a strange little feature of it. So if you're that identified with thoughts, um, then you may not even recognize that the relationship you have with thoughts, first of all, is even there because you won't even recognize thoughts. It's just the world as you're perceiving it through thought seems like the real world to you. That's what it is to be identified with thought. So there has to be some bit of breakthrough to really get at what I'm going to speak about.

So that's the first point I want to make. Make that breakthrough. Again, can be an awakening, but it can also be a pre-taste of awakening. It can be something that just shifts about this subject specifically about your awareness of thoughts suddenly changing. Um, I, I remember seeing a clip, uh, of Jewel, the singer Jewel, talking about her younger life. I think it was her teenage years or early 20s or something, but she, she mentioned very distinctly, there was a point at which she realized that her thoughts weren't her. Right? She became aware of thoughts as such. That's just one example that came to mind as I'm speaking about this. This happens to many, many people before significant shifts in identity start to occur, awakening and so forth. It happened to me as well. Um, what's interesting is sometimes when that happens, you actually start to perceive suffering more directly. And some people would even perceive that they started suffering when they become aware of their thoughts as such. Uh, that's an interesting topic in and of itself. I would argue you're not starting to suffer because that happened, you're becoming aware of the suffering that's inherent to it. But becoming aware of thoughts as such is really the first step to get any further in what I'm going to talk about. So that's the first point I want to make.

The second point I want to make about this is that, uh, there are very simple and easy practices to teach yourself in real time to become aware of thoughts for the first time. Again, if, if there's so much identification with thought going on, you don't even realize how many thoughts there are there, then it may be the first time you actually taste this. And even after awakening, even after deep realization, the same exact simple practices that I'm going to describe here can be very valuable and very powerful to continue to disidentify from thoughts, to continue to recognize subtler and subtler layers of thought that are defining or seeming to define your experience of reality, I.E., keeping you asleep.

So the, the simple technique, probably the simplest one, is just to make the intention right now, in real time, to become aware of the next thought that appears. That's it. Just look wherever you have to look up, wherever it feels like you are, wherever it feels like thoughts are, just turn your attention to the next arising thought. That's it. Now, the result of that can be a few things. One is, you may have so many thoughts coming that that's just one more thought that pops into your head, and then the series of thoughts with no gap just continues. That's okay. That's probably what would have happened to me the first 20 times I tried this when I was younger and I was totally in my head. Um, but, but the act of trying to do it is valuable. The act of actually trying to do this is valuable, even if the thought stream seems so solid that when I say, "Hey, turn your attention inward and look at the next thought or look for the next thought," your mind is immediately just picking that up and going, "Well, what does he mean by the next thought? Well, the next thought, I mean, that's that. It sounds like meditation. I know how to meditate. Maybe it's mindfulness. I think I know how to be mindful. I think I'm mindful all the time. I think I'm doing this all the time. I already know about thoughts," you know, like if your mind is constantly making thoughts that way. Um, then the, the practice that I just described, the intention I described, was not fulfilled. It didn't come to fruition in that moment, but it also doesn't mean it's useless. Just try again. You know, just try again and see if you can actually notice that the thought stream can actually slow down, and that there's something that actually turns or feels like it turns in on itself, like looking around in that space of thought. What's the next thought? And it may be a thought about, "Oh, I tried this before, it didn't work." Oh, that was the next thought. Now, what's the next thought? And noticing that this kind of a gap opens up. It may not feel like a gap for you, so don't be too rigid with looking for a gap, because I think that can confuse people too. But something will either slow down, the mind will slow down, a gap will open. That's the feeling of turning toward thought, of like becoming curious about thought. That is actually a revolutionary act when you start to be able to do that. That's a revolutionary act, whether you know it or not. In fact, if you don't listen to anything else in this video and you only pick up that one practice because it's interesting enough to you to pick up, then you may find a lot of success with just this. It may well lead you to awakening if this feels salient to you, if it feels important, if it feels interesting, maybe it just feels good because it's slowing the mind down or opening some gap. Just keep doing it. Just wherever you're at, doesn't matter how active the mind was one minute ago, or how busy you've been, or how much trauma has been coming up at any time, right now you can turn your attention inward and and look for the next thought arising. Just notice it and notice also sort of what just happens in the system, what happens in the sensation field, what happens in consciousness. Uh, don't take a bunch of notes, don't start analyzing it, just notice. You may notice a little bit of calmness, a little bit of slowing. That's a good thing, right? So this is the, probably the simplest technique, at least at this moment, that I can come up with. There are other ways to approach this, but this one works really well. You'll notice a little bit of calmness, a little bit of quietude in the mind. Yeah.

Then what often will happen, or can happen, is your attention will drop down into the body. Okay? Now, in regard to the practice purpose that I'm talking about, the purpose of this practice is to investigate your reactivity toward thought and ultimately settle your reactivity, calm the reactivity toward thought. Then this next step is helpful, but you don't always have to do this next step. And if you're using this turning toward thought technique, uh, for another reason, maybe self-inquiry, you don't necessarily have to do this at all. But in this specific concern of "How do I change my relationship with thought such that I'm not reacting to it?" then this next step is good. Once you feel pretty confident you can open a little bit of a gap, or you can calm the mind a bit, or slow the mind, such that you're actually aware of some movement of consciousness and thought, and you are aware of actually the formation of a thought until it becomes something that feels formed, like a concept, an idea, an inner narrative, anything. Once you've done that a bit, and it seems like there's just a little bit of calmness gained in that instant, then drop down in the body and feel where do you feel that? That's it. Just to let your attention just drop right down into the body. And do you feel any kind of tension, any kind of contraction, anything that feels squeezing, anything that feels dense, uncomfortable, even painful? You may be surprised that it's there. Uh, you may be surprised how easy it is to drop into the body, or you may just not. You know, there may be nothing there. My body may feel totally relaxed, or you may not even be able to do this. Now, that may sound a little bit absurd to some people, but for some people, it's, they'll tell you they can't feel the body inside the way I talk about. At first, I think anyone can learn it. I know anyone can. But at first, you may not be able to. It may just put you right back into your head to try to feel the body. In that case, totally fine. Start with the first step. Start with the first point I made of learning to turn toward thought. Um, but if you do, if you can drop in and you feel something contracted, stuck, tight, etc., um, then I want to make this very, very simple so it doesn't become too complicated or conceptual. That sensation itself, that sensation and your immediate awareness of it, that's how you can directly investigate whether there's reactivity. Do you feel yourself reacting to that? Do you feel anything reacting to the sensation? Do you feel anything trying to bounce out of it, back up into the head? Do you feel a tension like bouncing and turning back into thoughts? That's going to be what I'm talking about when I talk about like a kind of relationship with thought, a feeling of duality arising from the sensation itself, or or your reaction to it. That's a reaction. Um, or do you feel like attention just goes directly into that sensation, completely absorbed, no mental activity, immersed, intimate? And even if it's uncomfortable or painful, it'll feel complete and like you don't need to do anything else here. You feel intimate with it, natural with it, submersed within it. Then that's great. Just stay there. You, you'll want to stay there if that happens. But anything short of that, then there's probably some reactivity there, which is fine. Don't go to work on the reactivity as far as like analyzing or trying to beat yourself up over it. The, the, don't, you don't need to do that. Instead, just notice, "Oh, there's some reaction here." That's it. Keep your attention in the sensation and then see what, what's extra here, right? What's, what is it that makes me react to this, if anything? You may not find anything, but it's good to ask. If it feels like there is a reaction, if there is a resistance, if there is a pulling back, if there is a pulling up, if there is a dissociation, or if there's just immediately bounce back into tons of thoughts, any of those are variations of a kind of reaction to the, to to the thought, right? Um, to the initial thought. So this is what you're doing here is you're using the body, the, the body sense, the body's like an antenna. You're using the body sense to give you an indication that there's reactivity around thoughts. Um, when that reactivity around thoughts subsides, then the pull back into thoughts, the pushing and pulling on thoughts, the thought, thought, thought, thought, thought, that is actually underpinned by a constant reactivity, all of that will calm down, and you will be able to drop right into the body, and you'll be able to stay there at some point. Uh, and then it will be non-dualistic, and then all the sense fields will be non-dualistic, and this will be a different kind of conversation. So even though it may seem paradoxical or counterintuitive that you're actually checking in with the body to see if you're reacting to thoughts, um, it makes perfect sense energetically. So I would just follow those steps. Not, don't overthink this. Definitely don't overthink this. Don't write me a nine-paragraph comment about why I'm wrong and how energetics work because that's, that's a, that's just telling me that you're in your head, right? So, um, try it. Try the simple steps. Don't add to them. Don't overcomplicate them. Try them and see what happens, and then let me know what you find. And this is the kind of thing that if you can intuitively move through this in the way I'm describing, you can just keep doing it. This is a potent practice for many reasons. There are many components to this that I, I'm not going into too much detail on that actually make this a very valuable, potent, and and fruitful practice, even in deep realization. Let me know how that goes for you. I'm curious to see if that tracks, resonates, and kind of works.