Transcription
Good afternoon, good day, good morning sa mga oras na nanonood ka ngayon ng lecture video. I hope that all is well with you and your family right now. Kung ano man ang inyong pinagdadaanan, my prayers are for you. You deserve all the love and support in the world.
We are talking today about Rollo May. He is an existential psychologist. We begin a little bit with his background. So, itong si Rollo May, he had been suffering, or he had been battling with Tuberculosis. Actually, umabot sa point na hindi niya alam kung mabubuhay ba siya, or anong araw siya tatapusin ng Tuberculosis niya. And he was just waiting for his, uh, monthly x-ray results. Hintay na lang niya kung ano yung sasabihin nung nagbabasa: lumalala ba yung sakit niya, or gumagaling ba siya. And at that point, he had developed this insight into the nature of illnesses. He realized that the disease was taking advantage of his helpless and passive attitude. Kumbaga, dahil hinihintay na lang niya na dumating yung araw na tatapusin siya ng kanyang sakit, parang ang nangyari, ganun nga: pahina nang pahina. And he saw—he actually observed—that patients who accepted their illness were the ones who died, while those who had fought hard tended to survive.
So, syempre, hindi natin masasabi na, as so many yung mga tao, they, they, they lost to the illnesses in their body kasi hindi sila lumalaban. That's not what I'm trying to say. Pero sinasabi ni Rollo May that there are higher chances—it increases the chances or the likelihood—that you would overcome a physical disease kapag meron kang attitude na palaban. Sabi niya, “Not until I developed some fight in me, some sense of personal responsibility for the fact that it is I who had Tuberculosis; it’s not that Tuberculosis had me, kundi yung Tuberculosis ang nakikitira sa katawan ko.” And that is an assertion of his own will to live. Only, only that time, na nagkaroon siya ng progress.
So, in short, what did Rollo May learn? He learned to listen to his own body. Sabi niya, “The person who is sick must be an active participant in the therapy process.” And even in his psychotherapy patients, he also realized that they have to have this fight against the disturbance to get better. So, napakalaki daw na impact. Okay, it was actually somewhat philosophically aligned with Rogers. Um, malaki ang role ng being connected with people, pero may concern siya: ang naive daw ng pananaw ni Rogers na yung evil daw is just part of, of our, uh, culture as a phenomenon. Sabi niya, “In fact, ang tao—there are human beings—both good and evil, capable of creating cultures that are both good and evil as well.” It—yung good and evil—it also comes from us, all right. Pero napansin niyo naman ba kay Rogers, sabi niya, or kahit kay Maslow, we are all just individuals moving forward. Nagkataon lang na may mga tao na deprived sa needs, or hindi na nakaranas ng isang unconditional positive regard na experience, hindi nagkaroon ng ng environment na ganon, hindi siya nakaka-actualize dahil sa maraming incongruence sa kanyang buhay. Pero iba yung perspective ni Rollo May.
Let’s proceed to existential psychology. Okay, so this holds the doctrines of existentialism as well. And existential psychology believes that the person is in a constant process of becoming. One sinasabi dito na you create yourself as you exist. There is no essential, solid self, or there’s no given definition of your own personality and abilities, but it is a result of what you choose to become. Okay, so bago natin i-emphasize yan, let’s go to the first one of the basic tenets: actually, the primacy of experience. So, every individual is unique: this uniqueness in interpreting things, uniqueness in individual experiences, uniqueness in exercising our freedom of choice and responsibility. May kalayaan ka, okay? Meron kang sariling pananaw sa mga bagay-bagay. And that’s fine.
Isolation. The term isolation: we are, as we perceive this life, we would see that you are born alone, and we have to accept that we will die alone. Now, this leads us to the question na, in this aloneness, who am I? What am I? What is the purpose for living? I exist, correct? But why do I exist? May question dito. Do we visit all the rooms in our house? “Ay, Ma’am, one bedroom lang po kami.” Funny, yun, girl! “Ay, Ma’am, ano lang po kami, ah, studio type.” “Nainvisit ko naman, Ma’am.” “Wala naman kaming room.” Hindi yun yung tinutukoy ko. In the different aspects of your life, where do you find meaning? Sinasabi na may ibang tao, they find meaning in their craft, they find meaning in their games, they find meaning in their arts and studying, and in helping other people. So, it’s up to you. Yes, correct. It’s up to you, and there is no given definition of your personality and your capabilities.
Now, let’s proceed to the basic assumptions na gusto kong i-emphasize: yung term, or yung tag team na, existence-essence. Iba kasi existentialism sa essentialism. Sa essentialism, they believe that our being—tayo, mga tao—we have this characteristics, or we are an entity that serves a, a purpose. Pero iba yung sa existentialism. Ano, Ma’am? Yung existence. Existence meant to emerge or to become, and essence implies a static, immutable substance. So, existence suggests process, and essence refers to the product. In line with what I’m saying: existence before essence, kasi essence is the byproduct of your existence. Nakuha niyo ba? Existence is associated with growth and change, according to our, um, resource material. Essence signifies stagnation and finality. And in a simpler manner, okay, existentialists affirm that people’s essence is their power to continually redefine themselves through the choices that we make, to the choices that we, we, we choose. Ha? Ano daw? Ang one good example ng connection din ng existentialism, or ng existence-essence? Bakit may mga pagkakataon na mas nakikita natin yung importance, o yung essence, o yung meaning ng isang bagay kapag wala na, or kapag ubos na? “You, Ma’am, in a relationship ba? Dalhin lang natin sa romantic para hindi na tayo lumayo.” Na-appreciate natin yung tao when they are already absent. Mas matindi ang appreciation sa absence niya, pero nandiyan siya, there are tendencies that we take them for granted. But, but if we understand the existence that they are here, they are emerging, there are an individual sharing this moment with you, then you are able to give significance to their existence. Intindihan natin, or what we are trying to say is that you have to understand that you are existing, and kaakibat ng existence mo ang death, kaakibat ng existence mo ang freedom. Now, how would we put essence to it? How? By understanding that we are individuals who have the freedom to choose, and when we choose, that’s where we find essence, that’s where we find our meaning. But the thing is, in the problem of free choice… No, in choosing, we, people, oftentimes, we fear freedom, ba? May freedom ka nga to choose what you want to become, pero natatakot kang pumili. So, what do we do? We run away from it, kasi with freedom comes choice, and the possibility of choosing poorly. At when, when we choose poorly, or when we choose correctly, may kaakibat na responsibility, and that we fear it. At kasama sa basic assumptions dito yung, yun nga, people searching for some meaning in their lives. Oftentimes, we ask ourselves… pero hindi naman madalas… ano bang purpose ko dito? Pero may, may concern eh, may, may question tayo most of the time. Sino ba ako? Ano ba ako? Eh, si Ma’am, alam na niya yung, yung parang direksyon niya eh. Ako? What does it mean to live? Is life worth living? So, ano ba? It’s up to you to find that, okay?
Another thing about existential psychology: it also holds that ultimately we are responsible for who we are and what we become. Ang makulit: gusto ko yung sinasabi ni Sartre, isa sa mga proponents ng philosophy na existentialism: “Man is nothing else but what he makes of himself.” It is the first principle of existentialism. So, we cannot blame our parents, our employers, our friends, our classmates, not even God, the circumstances, to who we will become. Okay, although we may associate this one with relationships with other people, in the end, kasi you are alone, we are alone, and we can choose to become what we can be, or we can choose to avoid the commitment, we can choose to avoid the responsibility. But ultimately, I like what they said here: it is our choice. Marami ng umaangat yung kilay, no ba? Taliwas sa ibang mga perspectives na napag-usapan natin. Sabi niya, ikaw, ikaw ang responsible for what you would become in the future. Yes, there are circumstances, kumbaga sa experiment, may mga intervening variables, may mga extraneous variables, pero ikaw ay may kalayaan na mamili. So much for freedom; we’ll be talking about more of that later, but let’s proceed to the Sein, or the being in the world. Okay, ah, ang mga existentialists daw adopt a phenomenological approach to understanding humanity, and to them, for us to be understood from our perspective, we should have a grasp about the term, the Sein. So, basically, it meant the unity of person and the environment. It is, ayun nga, ito yung term, German term siya: the Sein, meaning to exist there; hence, it literally means to exist in the world. And it is written as “being in the world.” So, ang problema ay, we are not in the world. What do you mean? We are disconnected. Many people at this time suffer from anxiety and despair brought upon by the alienation from their self, or from the world. We have no clear image of who we are, or what is our role in society. So, the world seems to be a different one; para tayong foreigner sa mundong ito, kasi nga disconnected tayo sa tatlong aspects ng Sein. So, what does it take to be in the world? To—yung being in the world natin—since we are alienated… so, if you are separated from nature, we connect through the Umwelt. Yes, Ma’am, Umwelt po ang basa diyan. It’s not Umwelt, kasi ba, in the German language, they read “w” as “v.” Kaya nga Wilhelm Wundt, it’s not Wilhelm Won, it’s Wilhelm Wundt. So, Umwelt. Paano? Anong technique dito? You and the environment. The self in relation to the world of nature and the natural law. But go ahead and elaborate that. Interesting yung mga sinasabi niya patungkol dito; it makes sense, actually. Next, we lack meaningful interpersonal relationships. We connect—Mitwelt—the self in relation to others, the people. It’s ang palatandaan ko dito sa Mitwelt: it’s environment, environment, Mitwelt; it’s me and you, Mitwelt, relationships. And the alienation from our authentic self. What’s this? We have a concern on Eigenwelt. So, Eigenwelt now is the self in relation to ourself, to our spirit. And a lot of people suffer from isolation and alienation, and it manifests in this, in the way they connect in the world, in the Sein, o the same, kung paano nila banggitin. Okay, next, the term non-being. So, our awareness of our existence leads to the dread of not being, or non-being, or being nothing. Even I, I experience that. I fear na wala palang sense yung lahat ng ginagawa ko. I even question my existence most of the time—hindi minsan, na most of the time. And kasama dito sa non-being yung fear of death. One example nito: it provokes us to live defensively and to receive less from life if you would confront the issue of non-existence. So, on tendency, we become afraid, we retreat from our being. Sabi nga dito, “Wish, reveal our being.” So, what happens? We experience anxiety. There are people, when they run away from who they are, they’re not living an authentic life; they do some self-destructive coping mechanisms; it can be in a form of addiction, um, different unproductive behaviors, like gambling, ba, hurting in a relationship, toxic relationships, non-productivity. Meron akong kakilala, 50 years old na siya, pero wala lang. Anong wala lang, Ma’am? Wala siyang plano sa life niya, wala lang siya sa poder ng mom niya. Walang plano, naghihintay lang din ng, ng kung merong rocket. Okay, kung wala, okay lang din; nakaasa pa rin sa parents. The non-being, forever alone, ika nga. Pero the thing is, oftentimes, some, if not all people, flee from making active choices. We cannot assert our rights or who we are in the sense that we make choices without considering who we are and what we want. “Satin, wala akong choice,” pero kay Rollo May, “May choice ka, hindi mo lang pinili yung choice na… kasi hindi natin kaya yung responsibilidad.” So, ang tendency, we may try to avoid the experience of non-being by what? By denying your individuality. You could deny your individuality all you want; you could run away from your talent, from your potentialities, from the things that makes you happy, but such choices only feelings of emptiness, of despair, of frustration. Yes, we can escape from the dread of non-being at the expense of having a very constricted experience of life, constricted existence. Pero para kay Rollo May, a healthier alternative is to face the inevitability of death and to realize na itong non-being, yung nothingness, it’s already part of being a person; it’s, it’s an inseparable part of being a human. The mere fact na nag-e-exist tayo, it is part of us, di ba? Grabe ka naman, Rollo May!
Next, anxiety. It’s the dizziness of freedom. As we practice our freedom, Ma’am, ano ba yung freedom? Mamaya-maya lang idi-discuss na natin siya. As we practice our freedom, we experience anxiety. It arises when people are faced with problems of fulfilling their potentialities. After all, anxiety is part of our life. Merong tinatawag na normal anxiety, at merong tinatawag na neurotic anxiety. Normal anxiety: proportionate to the threat, it does not involve repression, ba? Ah, you were tasked to speak in class, and you’re not so fond of it, lalo na kung face-to-face, ba, or it’s something new to you, lalo na alam mo nagre-record si Ma’am. Normal anxiety. Pero it becomes neurotic when it involves what? Repression. Halimbawa, papasok ka lang sa klase, wala namang magaganap, makikinig ka lang, mag-aambag ka lang ng “Good afternoon,” tsaka “Thank you,” pero grabe yung kaba mo, to the point na pag malapit ng magkaroon ng klase, nag-LBM ka, kung ano-ano yung nararamdaman mo sa katawan mo. That is neurotic anxiety. It involves intrapsychic conflicts, may blocking of, uh, activity, blocking of awareness; kumbaga, na-pick yourself of potentialities, ba, di ba? Kung si, si Jona, si Maslow, may Jona complex, ba? Yung fear of doing one’s best. Para naman kay Rollo May, when you run away, or when you deny your potentialities, or when you fail to accurately perceive the needs of other people, or you, or you remain oblivious to their dependence on the natural world, what would happen? You will feel guilty. Okay, that’s how anxiety and guilt works para kay Rollo May. Now, I encourage you to read about the case of Philip to have a more broad understanding of the anxiety, the concept of anxiety para kay Rollo May.
Next, meron din siyang pananaw sa care, love, and will. Yes, about is the source of love, source of will. But what is care? It is a state in which something does matter to you, but it’s not the same as love. It doesn’t mean that you care for a person, meron ka na agad na love para sa kanya. But it is the source of love. And to him, to love means to recognize the essential humanity of the other person, to have an active regard for that person’s development. Kumbaga, kinikilala mo yung, yung, yung individuality ng taong ito. And I like a quote here from one of his writings: sabi niya, “Life comes from physical survival,” correct? Correct. Basic needs, ba? Without you, uh, satisfying your basic needs, we, you wouldn’t survive; we wouldn’t survive. Breathing, eating, sleep, keeping resting, lahat ng yan ay essential para ikaw ay mabuhay, to survive physically. But the good life comes from what you care about. What are the things that matter to you? Ito daw yung mga bagay na makakapagbigay sa’yo ng, or source siya ng good life, to give essence to that existence. Yan, yan, yan. Okay, love, to him, love meant to delight in the presence of the other person and affirming of that person’s value and development as much as one’s own. In short, to keep it simple: to love means to delight in another person and establish a relationship that is not selfish. It’s selfless. At some point, naman, selfless. Hindi mo tinatanggal yung ikaw, eh, nandun ka pa din, at nandun siya. Kinikilala mo yung existence niya. And again, without care, there can be no love; ano lang, sentimentality, or sensual arousal. Sabi niya, “Love doesn’t automatically pertain to sex or the sensual time of love.” Al, sex is a form of love, yes; inacknowledge niya naman yun. But if you say that you love a person, but you do not care for the person, then there is a problem. That’s not love for him. Ayan. Care is also the source of will. Will, sabi niya, is your capacity to organize yourself so that merong movement in a direction na gusto mo, movement, hindi ka stagnant, towards a goal. Ang problema, sabi sa writings ni Rollo May, may problema daw yung modern society sa pagtingin sa, o pag-unawa ng love and will, kasi love has been so much associated with sex, love has been so much associated with tawag lamang ng laman, whereas yung, yung will naman, parang ineen na lang siya as determination, or will power, pero hindi daw yun yung ibig sabihin ng love and will, kasi when love is seen as shallow as sex, then love becomes temporary and lacking in commitment; walang ano doon, walang will doon. Wish lang sana ganito, pero nasaan yung capacity mo to move in that love? While when will, daw, is seen as will power, or yun nga, determination lang, as shallow as that, it becomes self-serving, kulang siya sa passion, kulang siya sa care. Actually, ang nangyayari, yung will now becomes as shallow as manipulation, kasi it’s just for you, it’s self-serving. So, para kay Rollo May, ang task natin is to unite love and will. Okay, it’s not easy, pero it’s possible for a mature person. Both love and will meant reaching out toward another person, that involves care, that involves choice, that involves active action, and it requires responsibility. It sounded like Erich Fromm’s theory, right? Pero magkaiba lang sila ng focus. Si, si Erich Fromm, more on nature, di ba? He focuses on… ayan, may freedom din siya na concept, eh. You would see how they look alike. Now, uh, he also had this concept of the forms of love. Love in the Western tradition… isko na lang siya; I’m giving you the gist, and it’s up to you to read it more if you’re interested about it. But sabi niya, one form of love is sex: it’s the power of procreation, it is the drive which perpetuates the human race. Eros is also a form of love: to establish a lasting union with another person, the romantic type of love. Sabi nga ng ibang writers, it’s built on care and tenderness. We have philia, for friendship. It takes time to grow; this type of love needs to develop; it is built on experience, ba? It takes time to sink its roots. We have also agape, na tinatawag, the love of God for man. It is a kind of spiritual love that carries with the risk, nga daw, of playing God. Bakit? Unconditional ang agape, unrestricted, kumbaga. It’s an altruistic type of love, like that of a mother for a child, for their newborn baby. Okay, so we need this, this four forms of love, a blended love, pero it requires what? Self-assertion and an affirmation of the other person, ulit, no? At kasama rin dito yung assertion of one’s freedom and an assertion to face your destiny. Marami tayong destiny, mm, may pag-usapan natin. But let’s talk about freedom.
Freedom is your capacity to know that you are the determined one. Malaya ka ba? In the sense na meron tayong dalawang uri ng freedom: una, existential freedom. Okay, it is the freedom of action, the freedom of doing: to be able to shut down your laptop, to be able to tie your hair to a bun, your hair, to play different games, to read different books, to dance to any TikTok song that you want. Kasama yun sa existential freedom mo, the freedom to act on the choices that one makes, but the freedom to act, to move around. Hindi daw nito nabibigyan yung assurance na meron tayong essential freedom. Essential freedom is the freedom of being, the freedom to design your life. Sabi nga do sa material natin, existential freedom often makes essential freedom more difficult. For example, daw, yung mga inmates in a concentration camp, they often speak na there, they have this inner freedom, yan ba, may essential freedom sila; nakalaya sila doon sa mga nagawa nila, ah, mistakes in life, at nababang nila yung kanilang sarili. Pero limited ang kanyang existential freedom. Bakit? Nasa loob siya ng, ano eh, ng camp eh, or ng prison, right? So, hindi ka basta-basta pwedeng mag-TikTok doon; wala kang cellphone doon. But ang tanong doon ni Rollo May: do we get essential freedom only when our everyday existence is interrupted? Sabi niya, “No, no. Ang isang tao hindi kailangan makulong para ma-gain yung essential freedom.” Okay. Destiny itself is our prison. This is what makes us free to design our own life. Destiny is our concentration… us to be less concerned with freedom of doing and more concerned with essential freedom. Eh, Ma’am, ano ba yung destiny natin? Marami tayong destiny: we’re destined to grow, we’re destined to, to grow talaga, no, in any sense; to develop, na lang. “Bakit sabi nila, ‘Ma’am, hindi ako nag-grow?’ Yung iba lang nag-grow.” “Egle naman tayo diyan! Bakit yung iba hindi naman nag-grow?” Ano ba yung destiny natin? Isa yun, yung mga sinabi ko. But our ultimate destiny is death. Ma’am, knock on wood! Ano ba yan? Ayan yung, yan yung isa sa mga part din ng culture natin, ba? We do not want to talk about death; we do not want to say anything about… but death is our destiny. You have to accept that one day our loved ones will leave us, one day we will leave them. And with that understanding… and the paradox is that freedom owes its vitality to destiny, and this destiny—death—owes its significance to freedom. Ang kulit, ba? Ang, ang ironic lang, ayon. So, as we challenge our destiny, sabi niya, we gain freedom, kasi and tendency, we run away from, from it, eh. Ayaw natin ng mga ganyang bagay, mga patay-patay na yan. “Hwag niyong pag-usapan yan! Ayaw natin kumuha ng mga insurance yan!” Pero as you accept it, we gain freedom, yung mga limitations eh, kasi “baka bumagsak ako eh!” Hwag tayong matakot, because as we, as we gain freedom, we achieve it, and as we achieve it, we push at the boundaries of destiny, and this is what happened based do sa experience ni Rollo May. He challenged his life. Sabi niya, “Teka, oo, destined ako to die, lahat tayo ganyan, but this is my body; I have to fight for my life.” Only then he was free. Makes sense, right?
The therapeutic aims naman. So, it’s to be in the moment. Ang existential psychology, it tries to focus on the here and now, as compared with the rest, ba? Look at the past, dwell on the past, ganyan. But what matters is the here and now. You be a person in the present moment. One of the techniques that they are using sa psychotherapy is the terror management, pero it’s done by professionals, syempre, with the right training and the right foundation. So, what do they do here? They make connections to the past. So, clients are encouraged to emotionally relive past life events that would be terrorizing, ba? And after non, integrate yung felt experience, including in therapy, into primary relationships, and integrate what was learned to, to become a new person in the present moment. Let me give you an example: for, for instance, you, you had a pet, you love this pet so much, and this pet has been with you for 12 years now. Ngayon, hindi sinasadya, nangulit siya, bumagsak yung laptop na bagong bili sa’yo, galit ka, di ba? To the point na sinaktan mo siya, ganon, pinalo mo, iyakan siya ng iyakan, ganyan, hanggang sa tumakbo siya sa labas, tapos ikaw, sabi mo, “Babalik din yun; hayaan mo siya.” Galit na galit ka lang. Ayun, marami kang nasabi—makacurse word kita, papakainin, gugutumin kita, kung ano-ano pa things that you can imagine. After four hours, kumatok yung kapitbahay sa inyo, bitbit yung pet mo, tapos nawala na siya ng buhay, naaksidente siya. Tapos, what will happen? What would you feel? You would feel what? Guilty and bad about what you have done, kasi sa last moment niya, ikaw yung nakasama niya. May anxiety doon, may feelings of pain do, and that is shocking to the individual. Now, how do we employ this terror management? So, one way is—sa mga na-encounter ko—ay yung empty chair technique. Usually sa mga tao na yumaon na, tapos may mga unfinished na mga bagay, mga unclosed, or walang closure na mga, mga issues, hindi nakapag-sorry, ganyan. Hunt sila ng guilt nila. So, sa empty chair technique, hayaan lang ni therapist—may process yun, na sinsabi ko lang—na hayaan lang niya na magsalita, na masabi lahat ng hindi nasabi. Tapos, from there, they would begin to work and to learn kung paano mag-cope sa mga susunod na panahon ng buhay nila. But the thing is, we would want that person to be an one in the present moment, unlike kila Freud, ba, kay Adler, kay Rogers, ni, ni May, yung idea na yung psychotherapy should reduce anxiety and feelings of guilt. Sabi niya, yung psychotherapy should help the person—the term is—confront, harapin yung anxiety-provoking na content ng buhay mo, for you to learn to be conscious and able to forgive yourself, to stimulate growth, freedom, so that you can be the person living in the present, a person not living in the past. Okay, pero Ma’am, ba, hindi naman palaging yun yung applicable. Kaya nga I am always saying that the best approach pa rin is an eclectic one. So, it’s the call of the therapist to assess kung ano ba yung mas appropriate na therapy or therapeutic approach doon sa tao that is needing some help. Ayon. As I end, I’m gonna share with you this quote: “Many people suffer from the fear of finding oneself alone, and so as a result, no, they don’t find themselves at all.” We fear that if we do this, hindi naman magproseso sa comfort zone ko, baka wala namang mangyari, or baka mag-fail lang, o pag naganap ako ng trabaho, baka mapabayaan ko lang yung pag-aaral ko. May, may mga ano tayo, kanya-kanyang doors, or kanya-kanyang room na hindi pinupuntahan, kasi it’s just scary. But remember that when you run away from those rooms, you will be left empty and struggling and frustrated. After all, you are the master of your life; you are one who has an active role in shaping it. Don’t be a slave to your fear; don’t be afraid of risk, ba? And death, after all, lahat ng bagay ay may level of uncertainty, kahit sa statistics, 0.05 confidence interval. So, when we say that 95% yung, yung confident tayo that our data, whatever it says about our hypothesis, is not due to chance, meron talagang nangyayari statistically. And what I’m trying to say is that merong level of uncertainty sa lahat ng bagay. So, go ahead, take some risks, but be responsible with the consequence of your actions. Only then you would enjoy your existence; you would… I hope that you find yourself in the journey of studying psychology, in, in this journey of life. May you find peace in the things that you do and the things that you pursue. That’s the end of our discussion. Thank you very much, and good day.