This is Why Getting Married is the WORST Decision a Man Can Make

Good day all. Welcome back to the channel. We got a video here from Matthew Hussy. Honest advice to anyone wanting marriage. If you want to watch the original, the link's in the video description. Let's go.

Marriage is one of the worst decisions you can make, unless you make it with the right person for the right reasons. Let me explain. The irony of all of this is that I have never even liked weddings. I am not religious. I have never been especially romantic about marriage itself. And for most of my life, the whole world of marriage did not really speak to me. So why?

So let's talk about it. I want to talk about that point. I want to talk about two things. Having a really bad experience if you marry the wrong person. Uh I think a lot of people marry the wrong person. People rush into it. Let's talk about that point first. So what generally happens? Let's talk about younger people. So say anyone under 35 who are getting married and married for the first time. What what happens to a lot of guys, okay? Because there are guys out there who are womanizers, they can get women, they can have um rotations, all that sort of stuff. A lot of the time those guys, they don't fall for the tricks that women um you know, deploy to get men to commit, i.e. flatting with sex and um you know, being an awesome uh you know, perfect woman, you know, that whole act, the whole bait and switch. They know what's up. They've seen it a lot of times happen um even through short-term interactions with women. So, they don't they don't really fall for that.

However, you got your other cohort of men which makes up the wider the wider population of men out there. And this isn't an insult. This is just this is just true. And I've seen it myself with people I know in in my network of guys. Guys who generally aren't that great with women. Uh for whatever reason it may be, they might not be blessed with good genetics with their looks. They're not confident. a combination of the above or they're just shy. And then what happens? They these guys because they're not out chasing snatch. They make really good decisions in their life. They study um or they start a business and they work really hard on that, grinding on that. They do well for themselves. All right? And I'm I'm not talking about everyone being a millionaire or anything like that, but they've done all the right things. And then it comes to a certain age. Generally for guys it's over 30 where you were never getting any attention before you were seen as boring, lame, a dork, whatever it might be. And then all of a sudden women are starting to want to come on to you and you're like what is going on here? Like I've just become a legend the the moment I've gotten into my 30s and all my life started lining up for me. Guys don't look into it deep more deeper that women are looking at them as a mark. uh and are looking to get safety and provisioning from them and not looking at them from lust.

So these guys, they get sucked in with all the sex, you know, it's just wristies, BJs, anal. You're getting whatever you want. You She wants you to reenact out um you know, bang bust and and fake taxi episodes on her and you've never had anything like it. You've never seen anything like it. She is just making you feel like you're on cloud nine. This has got to be the one. This is it. Mom always said, "Mom always said that someone was going to come along with I least expected it." And I always thought she was wrong. But now look, this woman's come along. I've got to I've got to snap this up otherwise I'm losing the opportunity. And what happens? I move in within 6 months, engaged within 12 months, pregnant after 18 months. The list goes on of the quick milestones that happen. And then the guy realizes once he's trapped that he has bought and signed up to a deal that he didn't know he was getting. And generally it's a negative one. The person isn't who isn't as fun and as into sex as as he thought she was or the way that she was portraying herself to be. He's realized that now he's he's getting no sex now. And she's starting to look at him with a bit of disdain, talking down to him in the house, treating him like a butler, not showing him genuine love and affection like he thought he was getting before. But now he's given over the keys to the kingdom. His life's changed. So that these are the guys that get absolutely [ __ ] over. And that is the vast vast majority of men because at least half of those guys, they're going to go through a painful divorce. And the other half, they're going to be living a life of quite desperation, going along with the punches because, well, that's just how women are and that's just what marriage is and that's what life's all about. You just got to man up. And then you probably have five five to 10% um of of marriages where people probably genuinely like each other after a longer period of time once you know the lirance and all the you know honeymoon period has passed. It's very cruel what nature does to people. na nature making you think you're in love and women as well thinking they're in love and they're just giving it up and then the both people realize they don't like each other. Why did I get married?

And more importantly, is there anything from my experience that I can glean to share with you if you are a few years earlier in this journey than I am right now? Firstly, I don't think marriage is for everyone. In fact, I think it is a really really bad idea a lot of the time. But when it works, it's the best. So, if you're dreaming of marriage or you're wondering whether it's for you, here are the insights, stories, and even a couple of stats that can help you go in with your eyes wide open.

The first thing, okay, I'm going to tell you how to have your eyes wide open going into marriage. Just go and talk to men who have been married for a long time. Buy them a beer and ask them, you know, give them some tips and ask to give you some tips and ask them to tell you frankly. So, I want you to I want you to give it to me straight. Like, what's it like? And do that with people you know will be honest with you. A lot of men won't even talk about the negatives because it's they don't want to be seen as, you know, you can't keep your misses in line and all that sort of thing. Go and talk to guy. Go and talk to guys who have been divorced. Don't get tricked by society that speaking to men who are divorced is a bad idea because they're going to ruin your relationship because they're bitter and hurt. I think most guys would be happy to be able to give some really honest feedback on what their married life is like to young guys or inexperienced men who are going lambs to the slaughter. But society says, "Oh no." Or other women will say, "No, don't listen to him. You don't listen to him. He's bitter. His wife left him. You know, he's a broken down shell of a man." That's what should happen. or speak to womanizers are guys you just get chicks and get them to tell you what they learn from female nature like that is how you learn now most guys don't take on any information that men tell them they find out themselves oh [ __ ] I didn't know that was going to happen oh you know there's guys have been trying to tell you but you didn't want to listen you know so it's it's I've had instance of this. I've tried to talk to guys, tell them, "Hey, I got Hey, dude. I sort of put my hand on the fire. I don't want you to without at least knowing you're going to get potentially burnt." Ah, yeah, whatever, dude. Blah, blah, blah. I don't want to listen to you. And then they go and put their hand on the fire. Oh, [ __ ] It burnt. Why didn't you [ __ ] tell me that? Men just got to learn on their own sometimes.

What guys should also do in my honest opinion is go down to a divorce court and sit there for a couple of days like a fly on the wall. If you can go and sit in a public um hearing. go and and go and go see the people walking in and out of mediation rooms who once loved each other and uh you know signed up to this deal to death do us part and watch the guys there just [ __ ] absolutely getting destroyed in there. Go and do that and then if you still want to do it fine. I'm going to give one more uh little piece of wisdom before I move on and watch this for a little bit. I know I'm ranting today. That's why you're here. If you want to watch his [ __ ] video, go watch it. That's linked in the video description. My my honest opinion is men shouldn't even consider moving in for three years. That's my opinion. Why? Because people can't keep up an act for that long. You're you're generally going to see some big cracks coming through after a year or two. And in that third year, it's going to give you some time to decide if you want to progress her to serious girlfriend um status. And I would say most guys probably shouldn't be doing that with most women. because there's a lot of a lot of risk out there. And then if you want to get married, I reckon it's 5 years in total. Like living together for maybe if you're in Australia, do living together for one year and work out if you want her in your house or not because you're going to work out pretty quick how compatible you are living seeing someone day in day out for a year. Like that shine wears off pretty quick. So before you fall under de facto laws, you can boot her out or you can move out or whatever it is. That's my honest opinion. Sounds ruthless. Most guys wouldn't follow that or have the guts to break up um with a woman who they're pretty deep in a relationship with. Most guys are like, "Oh well, I'm in here anyway. We're living together anyway or I've proposed to her anyway, so I've got to do it now." And I'm not saying I'm any better. Why do I talk about this? Cuz I've done it. Uh when I was a lot younger, when I was engaged, my stomach was turning and twisting and I was just like, I got cold feet. But that was my intuition saying, "No, this this isn't good." But what did I do? I ignored it and I paid the price. So that's on me.

All right, halfway. If you're enjoying this video, this rant today, consider subbing to the channel. Like, comment, share, all that sort of [ __ ]. Uh view time really helps me out. So if you do want to stick around or leave it playing, it really helps me out. And if you want to support the channel or get into contact with me, uh you can find ways to do so in the video description and pinned comment. All right.

Thing I've learned is that this is an area where it pays to go slow in order to go fast. Making quick decisions based on romance or how much we want to get married is one of the recipes for ending up in divorce. One analysis found that the highest odds of divorce are in years 4 to 8 for couples who married under 25, especially under 20. And this isn't to say that young marriages can't work. Many do. But it does mean that you have to go in with your eyes wide open and a genuine willingness to grow together. But it takes time to know if you're with someone that you actually can and want to grow with. What I will say, however, is that we want to go slow for the right reasons. A right reason is I'm going slow to really get to know the person in front of me to make sure they're right. A wrong reason is I'm going slow so that I can wait for my life to be perfect before I really commit to a person. And that's what brings me on to my next point. Waiting for stability before we make a major commitment to someone is overrated. Now, I don't mean emotional stability. I think there's a degree of emotional stability that we want to find in ourselves before we get married. But I think more in terms of the things people say out loud when they say why they can't get married yet. I hear this a lot from guys. I can't get married yet because I haven't hit my financial goal or I can't get married yet because my life's just not in a place where I'm set up to be able to get married. And I think that that misses the point of what a long-term relationship is. Even if we take marriage out of the equation for the moment, you learn a lot more by dating someone and getting to know them and coming up with them in the messy stages of your life than you do by getting to the top of whatever hypothetical mountain you're saying you have to climb before you commit and then picking someone from the top of the mountain. When your life is in a perfect place, you don't necessarily learn a lot about the partner that you're with. You certainly don't learn as much as you can when your life is going through difficult and challenging stages.

I'll give him that. I think the a really good way to test a woman's loyalty and if she is um a a good person who isn't going to drop you is meeting someone when you're down and out in your life where you might not have a lot of money, you might have lost a job. Uh I don't know, the list goes on of all the things that can happen that could really make you look unattractive to most women. I don't know, maybe you had to go and live with your parents or something like that because you're down and out. You know, you're 30 years old and living with your mom and dad or something like that and she doesn't give you any [ __ ] about it. Um, she knows that you're in a tight spot, but it's only temporary and she sticks with you cuz she can see the vision and the goal. Now, there aren't many women like that. Most women will [ __ ] make fun of dudes who aren't readyade. So, while Michael I think this guy, not Michael, Ma Matthew Hussy, he he makes sense, right? But the reality is most women aren't wanting to go through the mud with a guy. So, guys are finding that they're going to have to have this readymade life so some chick will can plug into it. And I I sort of I do agree with him. If you're going to do it, you're better off getting with someone when you're in the dirt than when you've reached the top of the mountain. Because all you're going to attract are women that are seeing you as making their life better from the get- go, not earning it, coming along the ride with you and contributing. That's my honest opinion on that. So, I don't think he's too far off there. But I don't think it's wrong to say as well that men wear very strategic thinkers. So, if you're going to do something like that, and I I say highly advise against it. I'm not saying be alone forever, but what I'm saying, I'm highly advise rushing in and [ __ ] marrying women quick. Highly advise. But if you want to go and get married and do all of that, definitely not [ __ ] meeting women when you've, you know, say you've become a millionaire or you've reached whatever milestone you wanted to have and then start using that as your marketing for meeting women. You're just going to get the wrong ones. And I'm not a relationship coach. I haven't been very successful in them. Uh I'm not a [ __ ] marriage expert. I'm divorced. I'm just telling you from my experiences, especially marrying uh really hot women, women who think they're hot even and have that way about them. They're going to make your life a living nightmare. A lot of guys do that. They'll meet a woman who is generally a lot more attractive than what they've normally gotten, and they'll do whatever they can to hold on to her, including just putting up with all sorts of [ __ ]. I don't know, guys. Let me know your thoughts. I know I'm rambling a bit today. I'm ranting. I'm carrying on. I think this is a very important topic. Uh I don't know the obsession with men getting married. For whatever reason, guys all say they want to get married. They talk about marriage. As I said, go and sit in the family court for a day. You might change your mind. They think because they're also buying the fantasy that is sold to them uh from movies and shows that you're going to meet this woman and it's just you and her and you know that's like the um the pinnacle of your existence and life is just going to get so much better because you've got her there. A lot of guys end up becoming as I said like unpaid servants in your own house.

I look back now and I am grateful for the fact that my life was not perfectly stable when my wife Audrey came into it. In fact, there were a lot of messes. There were some crises and those were the things that told me who I had. By the way, if you know you struggle to pick good partners or trust your instincts because your emotions get the better of you in love and dating, that is exactly the deep work I'm doing with people on my retreat this weekend. Yes, it is happening this weekend on the 18th and 19th of October. And you don't even have to join me in person for this event. Join us this weekend.

Here's one that I think is really important. Anxiety often disguises itself as a refusal to settle. So there are a lot of people who feel like they struggle with commitment. And one of the reasons they do is because of a kind of perfectionist mindset or because they're always thinking that someone better is going to come along. And that makes it really difficult to just go allin on the person they're with. I think this is particularly difficult these days with the amount of choice, superficial choice that we are presented with on dating apps, on social media. It feels like there's always someone possibly better around the corner. But when we tell ourselves, "Oh, I just don't know. Maybe someone better will come along." Instead of thinking about that as some desire to optimize, it might be worth labeling it as anxiety, as a pattern.

No, I call it as um I want to talk about probably two things here. So, most guys don't have this issue. So, I don't know if you I think his um audience is women, but I want to talk about this like most guys are not going to have this problem that they got so much choice that they can't find um it within themselves to pick one. That's a very that's very much a female problem. They're always thinking that this next better person is just going to come along and it's always doing the lucky dip. It's always playing u the lotto and swiping on the internet, right? and thinking you're always going to get someone better. And and that's how these women end up 35, 40, 45 with super stupid high standards and and don't have anything really to back that up apart from it's just what they want. And because they're getting a lot of matches even from attractive guys, you know, banging dudes and all that, getting all this attraction, they they conflate that with genuine attention from men who want to have relationships with them. It's [ __ ] backwards.

Then there's also other guys. Now I want to talk about uh guys who have experience with women and they'll say, "Oh, men don't want to commit because they're commitment phobes or they're they're scared and all of that." If you've seen some of the things that I've seen uh or done, you wouldn't really the whole illusion of women is shattered and broken. you you really won't be able to look at them in the same way and make a decision to commit to someone for life without thinking it is an incredibly high risk. Incredibly high risk. Women Women are very fickle. Women leave men all the time when uh things get tough when they get sick of them. They get bored. They go and cheat. They live double lives. Um, they'll have a husband who goes and works in the office all day. They might have a work from home job or they might have a different schedule and they're out dating and living a single life while they're also married and they're doing it in a very sneaky way. That [ __ ] happens all the time. Guys need to be careful. So guys who see this stuff and live this life, they're like, "Oo, I know sort of what's on the other side of this." Like, it's not 100% guaranteed, right? You can't live your life in complete fear, but you can't also deny it what you've seen and what you've experienced. Like, you know, I've gone on all these dates with women who are telling me they they had this man and that they loved and they were married to and now they've only one month out, two weeks out of a separation, and they're banging you, telling you how much of a great guy you are and how much better than, you know, the ex-husband you are. They don't even know you. So you think to yourself, hang on. So this guy that you had kids with, you married, you did all this stuff with, he's just a piece of [ __ ] to you now. He doesn't exist anymore. He's lower than dirt, completely abandoned, and you're out just banging other dudes and ragging these guys out to the guys you're having sex with. Very, very common. So you see that, you're like, "Oh, hang on. I don't really believe in this marriage thing." Because you see a lot of women, a lot of attractive ones, early 30s, mid-30s, they will they will open your eyes if you have your ears open to listen and read between the lines of what they tell you.

Of anxious rumination. Because when we do that, we stop giving it so much weight. We stop giving it so much meaning. We recognize that our fear that someone better might come along is actually a kind of catastrophic thinking that I'm going to make the wrong decision in my life and that's going to haunt me forever. The irony is that what tends to haunt people is the unwillingness to make a decision and commit to someone, not that they're going to make an imperfect decision. Now, if you're watching this and you are anxious about making the wrong decision in love, there is a trap that you must avoid when it comes to choosing the right partner, do not let your ego make the dis not partner, it's wife or husband. What's his partner [ __ ] It's very big. I think Matthew Hussy, I think he's Australian. This is partner stuff. It's very progressive language. Even you hear that from the start. Oh, they want to find their person. We I'm looking for my person. All that means is they're looking for Mr. Perfect. Doesn't he doesn't [ __ ] exist. Massive red flag. Do not let your ego make the decision about who you marry.

Decision about who you marry. The irony of those of us who spend our lives indecisively going from one person to the next and never knowing what's right is that we also are the most susceptible to being absolutely certain about the wrong person. Why? Because there are people who come along who are so outwardly impressive or hot or charismatic or high status or we think are out of our league that immediately we get triggered by that person and we think I just have to keep them. This is the best I'm ever going to do. Oh my god, I'm so in love. And in that moment, it's like all of our anxiety about making the wrong decision dissipates. And what shows up is a brand new anxiety about keeping this person who we're absolutely sure is the right person. But why are they the right person? Because they're super hot. Because they impress the people around us. That's not what makes a marriage.

No, I think most most guys fall into it because they don't feel like they can get anyone else. As I was talking about earlier, you know, the guys who don't have much luck, they finally got this chick on the hook and she's all about it. And a lot of these guys very plugged into the system. like if I don't do this, if I don't go through with it, even though she's being a [ __ ] to me or or she's not, you know, easy to get along with, etc., etc. I know she spends all my money and she always wants things I can never keep her happy. But then, you know, if I get rid of her, it'd be so hard. I've got to go back on the dating apps. I've got to try and meet someone again. They go, "Nah, I don't want to do that. I'm never going to meet anyone." And it's living a life out of complete scarcity. Isn't so much the woman being hot. I know some guys will do that. They'll just, you know, especially if the woman's attract really attractive, you know, guys can be like little puppy dogs. They will do anything to keep a woman. Uh, I could even talk about this from my my really good friend Larry. I heard about Larry lately, but Larry, he had this girlfriend who for him was far more attractive than his ex-wife and any other woman he's been with. And, you know, she was this real boss babe type woman. And for whatever reason, she was really into him at the start. And he, you should have seen the way he looked at her, like I caught up with him. He wanted me to meet her and all this stuff. Massive red flags went off for me instantly, but I didn't say anything. He wasn't going to listen to me anyway. You should have seen the way he was looking at her like he was under a spell, like a love spell. I didn't have the heart to tell him I thought she was a slurry. You know, that turned out to be the case. But he wouldn't he would have disowned me. I've known this guy my whole life. he would have written me off over saying something like that about a woman. Men don't want to hear it. But men, as I said, men men get very seduced by women. Um, a lot of women uh like sirens, succubi, leaning men in ships into the rocks. I know it's a bit metaphorical for me to say, but as I said, I I saw how he was looking at her and I was just like, "Fuck, this is going to end really bad." And when it did, he was in such a bad place. I felt so sorry for the poor bastard cuz he was really heartbroken. Really heartbroken. He's a really good, genuine, nice. He thought she was great, you know, and she was she more or less told him that she didn't want anything to do with him anymore, pretty abruptly. And then she also said to him, uh, she's already been sleeping with other guys and stuff like that when they were still hanging out. He thought they had this serious relationship going, but she more or less was doing a Steo or Bry to him. Like women do that [ __ ]. So he thought they were on, they were serious. So he was giving her the boyfriend treatment while she was still out getting guts smashed in. And so anyway, she she confessed it to him because he wouldn't take the hint. He wouldn't take the hint because he was so loveruck. And you know what? He even said to me if she would have come back now and wanted to get back with you. He'd say he would do it without even thinking about it. [ __ ] hell. So that's I know I'm ranting but as I'm saying [ __ ] some people make decisions not a sound mind.

What makes a marriage is an amazing teammate. And I don't know about you but I can look back on situations in my life where I was crazy about someone and I thought I'll do anything to keep this person. And now I look back and I'm like, that person was a horrible teammate. They would have been a terrible person to raise a child with. I would have been doing it on my own. They would have been a terrible person to run a household with. But in the moment, if it's our ego that's making us certain, we don't think about any of that. And that is why so many people get into deeply unhappy marriages with people they were originally certain about.

This one is important. Do not marry someone that you never argue with. Marry someone you argue well with. That means that when you have an argument, you reach good compromises. You have a good recovery time. In other words, it doesn't take you days of miserable toxicity to get good again. It takes you minutes or hours. You're both good at coming to the table to apologize and soften. It's not always the same person who has to save the two of you every time you have an argument. And by the way, you only know these things by having hard conversations early on and being able to talk about the big stuff so that you know who you are when there are differences in opinions whether

That's really good. That's really good too. By the way, a lot of guys also go with the flow and a lot of women who are trying to lock in men as well, uns unsuspecting men, they also go with the flow. And then what happens is uh you go through all those milestones and you're trapped together in marriage and you can't do that act forever and you start acting and saying things that you truly believe and they'll do the same and a lot of the time you're not you're not [ __ ] aligned. Or what a lot of women do is they will go along with whatever the guy says. She'll go along with his political stuff, his rants, whatever he carries on about and then they're married and then she doesn't want to know about it. or she completely turns and tells him he needs to change and change his ways. She doesn't like what he says. I think a really good example of that is say you're a bit of a joker. You like to say politically incorrect jokes and then she turns out to be a raging liberal. But when you guys were first in love, she thought your jokes were funny. It was great. Every time you told something, it was like a standup routine and you were getting a great laugh and reaction out the crowd. Guys, put in the comments if you've had that. Very common, especially once they turn off on you as well. Uh doesn't matter what you do, they're not going to like anything you do. You can't even [ __ ] breathe next to them.

Let's watch the final point and we'll call it there. And by the way, when the arguments you're having with someone are about fundamental behaviors that they have that you do not like that are unlikely to change, don't just ask yourself, do I have the patience or the energy or the strength to deal with this this week? Ask yourself if you have the energy to deal with this every week for the rest of your life.

Now, maybe you're watching this video as someone who has already chosen someone that you think is wrong. Maybe you married that person. Maybe you're divorced and you're currently shaming yourself for not having followed the advice in your life that I give in this video.

That's how most guys find content like mine and similar other creators. They're having this really hard time. They can't work out what's going on. And I start writing things in. Why does my woman treat me like this? And why is she being so mean to me? or why is she why is she going out later, not coming home, whatever it might be. And then you end up going down this rabbit hole and you find myself and other creators, men don't actively seek out this type of conversation and information because it goes against the safe wheel theory that I talk about all the time, which is men want to believe in the dream. Men men are the romantics. Men want to believe in this. They really do. That's why they get so heartbroken and never really recover a lot of the time um emotionally from a really nasty divorce that you know they were shocked by. But then you get women who are happy to go and get um into serious relationships two months out. They're looking for their person the next you know their Mr. Wright like straight after or even still involved in a separation process. It's nuts.

Yo, I want to say something to you. Who you divorce is just as important as who you marry. Look, I will always try and give as much guidance as I can to prevent people from marrying the wrong person. But we're people. I've been coaching people for nearly two decades of my life, millions of them. And I can tell you, I have seen many people marry the wrong people. And it is not the end of the world. You can recover from this mistake. There is life after the breakdown of a marriage. The decision of who you marry is in some ways the most important decision you'll ever make in your life. It's true. But it's not an

It is the biggest decision you'll ever make in your life because it has some impacts or could have impacts that really follow you for a very long time and not just a financial. It's if you have kids with someone who's difficult to co-parent with can really [ __ ] your life up and weld up. you know, someone who might use the law lie to the police that you're a kitty fiddler um or you hit the kids or whatever it might be to then get you wiped off um custody so they get full custody. This [ __ ] happens. It's very it's very common, but men have horrible times. So, this this can really ruin your life. It is it is honestly one of the worst decisions you can make if you [ __ ] it up. And most people [ __ ] it up, myself included. So be careful guys. That's what this video is about. I know I've been [ __ ] ranting and carrying on today. I just don't want people to go through hard time. I get a lot of email from guys who are really having a hard time. And you know, it's heartbreaking to read these stories. You know, it really is. And so I just don't want guys to have a bad time. I think if you get married once and get divorced, I don't think you should get married again. That's my opinion. Even if you want to have the pickup fence and everything, meet someone. You tried it. It [ __ ] blew up in your face. Obviously, now you know it doesn't work. Get a girlfriend, a long-term girlfriend, and if she wants to be with you, she won't care about getting married. But that's pretty rare. So, normally what what I would say is guys have girlfriends. I'm not saying don't have women, hate women or anything like that. Women are great. I don't hate women. Uh I'm sure most of you guys don't hate women. I'll say probably all of you don't. you just want to learn about them or have had bad experiences with them. Doesn't mean you hate them, just date them if you can and let it go for as long as they can before a commitment and then move on because the women who are going to [ __ ] drop you because you don't give them what they want. They they would have divorced you at some point and you would have been through marriage number two anyway. So, they've done you a favor. You've done yourself a favor. I'm going to leave it there, guys. Thanks for watching. Have a good Saturday. Cheers.