Transcription
In this video, we're going to talk about how to stop putting men on a pedestal and put yourself in [Music]. It, it really breaks my heart to think how many of you simply forgot how to love yourselves only because you don't feel loved or appreciated on a daily basis. And with this video, I want to bring you your power back, girl. Stop choosing men over you. Enough. You cannot love someone more than you love yourself. You cannot give him more than you give to yourself. It's unhealthy.
A perfect relationship that we all dream about is not what you have. It's two people that don't play with each other. They just simply love each other, and they're happy to be with each other, and they feel safe with each other. They're not pretending. They're just being themselves, who they are, and they feel loved and appreciated every single day. If they have a problem, they talk about it. If they think that they're uncomfortable at some point in a relationship, they talk about it, and they communicate. That's a healthy, loving relationship where you two, both people, are equal. And it's not the relationship where a man is right here, and you're right here. "Whoa, he's a God. He provides. He has so much more than I have. I have to love him and cherish him in order to, you know, get what I want." Like, wake up. What are you doing?
If you are confused in a relationship, it means that it's not the right guy for you. You don't have to be confused in a relationship. In a happy, loving, healthy relationship, it's crystal clear that you both are loving each other, that you both are happy to be with each other. Like, you don't need games. And when you know that it's your person, you know that it's your person. You don't need to ask yourself, like, "Should I be with him? Should I not be with him?" Like, you just know.
A few days ago, I saw a guy that I like, and we didn't see each other for three months. Uh, we didn't talk. Nothing happened. And then I just walk into a restaurant and I see him, and he sees me. And I know that he likes me back. And at the end of the night, it just happened that we kissed. We spent time together. We kissed. And then it got late, and I went back home. He ordered me a car. He said good night. You know, everything was nice. But then the next day, the next evening, I walk into a restaurant, another restaurant, and I see him again. I'm like, "Okay, there should be something about this guy." Okay, either we both really like the same places and the same food, or it's destiny. Whatever. So he sees me. You know, he's like, "Wow, two days in a row. That's a surprise." We were just talking, and I was kind of flirting with him because, you know, when I look great, when I feel great, when I'm going out, when I'm with my bestie, like, I'm feeling myself. I love that feeling. And then at the end of the night, I did not feel really happy about this guy because I felt that he didn't show me in his eyes, with his energy, that he likes me enough. And then I just let it go. And I was like, "Okay, maybe, like, you know, we see each other in the next few days. Like, he texts me or anything." And he never did. Not the next morning, not three days later. Already, like, no messages from him. Nothing. Not calling me, not sending me flowers. And I'm like, "I don't even remember the name of this person at this point." You know, a few years ago, I would be destroyed. I would be full of anxiety. I would be stressing about it, doubting myself, thinking that I did something wrong, maybe I don't kiss well, like all these crazy thoughts would go through my head. And today, I'm just sitting here and simply thinking that if this guy is not coming back to me, it means that God is protecting me from him. Period. That's it. If this person is not sticking to me, thank you, thank you, thank you, God, that you're protecting me from that person because maybe that person would hurt me, maybe that exact person would destroy me and give me another trauma. Like, I don't know. God knows so much more than I do, and I trust him. And I'm not a crazy religious person. I just really healed my relationship with God lately because that's the only thing that gives me hope and gives me purpose. Thinking that I'm loved no matter what. I'm loved no matter what men in this world think about me. I'm loved by him, and I'm protected by him. I'm safe because he always looks after me, you know what I mean? And that really, really warms my heart and makes me feel so grateful for no matter what happens in reality. Every day I go to sleep and I wake up, and I say the same three words: I let go. I trust. And I'm calm.
That's a true feminine energy. When you're truly tapping into your feminine energy, you trust this process, you trust your life, and you receive. When you're in your masculine energy, you fight, you try to achieve things, you try to, you know, go through barriers. You're like always this go-getter girl. And I used to be like that. I mean, I'm still till today. I am a very strong person. And sometimes I think that I might be scaring men around me because I am a very strong girl. But I scare guys who are weaker than me. I scare guys who I would never be with. Me, I guess, because my man, he will never be intimidated with me. He will never be scared of me and my character. He's going to be like, "Come here, give me a hug." You know? And that is so crazy to think that when I balanced my feminine energy, that's when things started happening in my life. When I was stressed and anxious and I was always scared of my, like, financial situation or, you know, just scared about the future, I was not receiving anything. But when I relaxed and I was like, "I'm letting go. I'm trusting the process. I'm going to do what I have to do," and I started receiving. It does not mean that you just sit on your ass and you're waiting for God to give you things. No, you work hard. You do what you are supposed to do. You're trying every single day. You're trying your opportunities. But it means that you trust. You don't fight your life because your life is always for you. It's not against you. God is always for you. He's not against you. Or maybe you don't believe in God, and you believe in energy, or you belong to any different religion, and it does not matter. And I don't care what you think. There's always something that protects you. Always. You are protected and loved, and you forget about it. You just have to remind yourself that what's yours, it's going to be yours. No matter what, no matter where you go, no matter where you're going to be, what you do, what's yours, it's going to be yours. Remind that to yourself. You don't have to chase. You don't have to be obsessed with something. It will come to you whenever you just let it go and you trust the process of your life.
Also, a very big mistake is to feel jealousy. It is a healthy feeling to feel jealous because we all are human beings, and we all look at each other, especially with this era of social media, and we see the differences between people. We see how you can live, how you you can look, and blah, blah, blah. But you have to be really conscious when you feel jealousy. When I feel jealous, I tell myself that, "Listen, if she got something that you don't have, it doesn't mean that there's something wrong with you. It means that it is her path, and she is getting things that are good for her. She's getting lessons that she needs to learn. But maybe you don't need to learn those lessons. Maybe there's something completely different for you. But it doesn't mean that it's going to be less. It doesn't mean that you're loved less and that you get less. You're just different. You are different, and your life is different." And the same is with you. There's nothing wrong with you. You're just different from me and from everybody else. And whenever you allow yourself to express your true self and to accept yourself who you truly are, you're going to be like, "I don't care what you think about me. I don't care what you all are saying about me because I know my own truth. I know who I am, and I accept myself and love myself, and I look in a mirror, and I know who I am, and that is what matters."
Also, being a mistress is not going to get you anywhere. I have a whole separate video on my channel about being a mistress versus being a wife, and here's going to be a link for this video. If you never watched this video, please, please, please watch it because it's so freaking important and it will change your life and change your mindset. But just remember that the energy that you send to this world is the energy that you attract. If you're all this fan fatti and like black sexy, you know, cool woman, then you will attract someone who's going to probably treat you like a mistress. If you want to find a husband and you want to be in a loving, caring, safe relationship, then you need to be a different type of energy. You need to be generous. You need to be kind. You need to be grounded. You need to feel safe in your own body in order to provide that safety and nourishment and love to your future husband. Like, it's not about being sexy and attractive physically. It's about being balanced inside of you. Because if you want a very successful, amazing, loving husband from a great family, you have to be on the same level. Nobody wants to date someone who is lower than them. Be the energy that you want to attract. Be that energy. Start sending that energy around yourself and project that energy into your world, and I promise you, it will bounce back and you will receive it back.
I literally wasted a few years in my life thinking that I'm not good enough. I was hating my body. I was hating the way I looked. Everybody around me was like, "You look gorgeous. You're stunning. You're amazing." And all these words, they were not getting to me. They were just like, "Yeah, those people are just like flattering me. Like, I'm gorgeous. Are you kidding me? Like, did you see me in the mirror?" I was like that to myself. I was my biggest hater, and my self-esteem was like that because I used to compare myself to other people a lot. And because few in the past did not see my value and did not treat me the way I wanted to be treated. But I'm so glad I had those experiences because now I know how to spot them. I know how they are. I know the type of guys I never want to date again. I learned my lesson. I was hurt enough, and now I will appreciate a different type of men next to me, and I will be like, "You know what? I'm not going to take you for granted because I know the difference. I understand how amazing you are, and I'm so grateful to call myself your woman." If you don't go through a shitty experience, you're not going to appreciate a really nice guy. But if a guy that you're dating right now is an or you dated is an, do not forget him easily because if you forget him easily, he understands that, "Oh, I can treat her like that," and then he will treat you worse. Because guys are like that. If you allow them to do things to you that you don't like, if you forget them, if if you justify them, if you're just nice to them all the time, it's just the reality, girl. They will test you more and more and more. They literally will get under your skin at some point to really get that reaction from you when you are going to stand up for yourself and say, "Listen, you just crossed my boundaries. Either you stop treating me like that, or we're over. Like, I'm not going to ever see you again because I respect myself and I love myself, and this was not respect and love towards myself. If you're not on the same page with me, don't call me again." If you ever do that nicely and politely, just watch. Just watch how he's going to change. And I'm sitting here today, embarrassing myself in front of all of you guys because I went through that. I went through that, and I was such a nice girl. I was literally like, "He was hurting me so much, and I was like, you know what? Like, he still loves me. Like, he's, he's still, like, it's going to be fine. Like, it's, it's all my fault." Like, and it all is just because I simply did not feel worthy enough of having someone who's going to truly love me and truly respect me and appreciate me because I did not love and appreciate and respect myself.
They all use words. They all say so many beautiful things like, "I love you. You are my future wife. I'm going to buy you diamond earrings. I'm going to do everything for you. You're mine forever. Like, we're going to be forever and ever and ever together." But dude, like, where the actions? Like, where the actions? I'm not seeing those. So unless you show me the actions, I'm going to sit here with my pigeon and wait for you to win me and win my heart. Right? By the way, this is a bag. And basically answering the main question of the video: how to stop obsessing with men and start obsessing with you. You simply have to start obsessing with you. But how? Basically, you have to understand one thing. You obsess with a man not because you're obsessing with this person. You are obsessed with what you see and what they have in life. Like, for example, if you find yourself obsessing with someone who is super successful and super famous, it just means that you want those qualities for yourself. And there's nothing wrong with that. It just means that you are not allowing yourself to feel those things, and you think that you cannot have them. But I'm here to remind you that you can have it all. The only person who limits you is you. You already have that inside of you. You already have all the qualities for a successful life, for a rich life, for a happy life, for a loving life, for a famous life. You can become whoever you want. You just have to allow yourself to do that. People who became successful, people who became rich, they one day told themselves, "You know what? I am allowing myself to be that. Like, I'm just going to try. I don't know what's going to happen, but I'm worthy enough to have that in my future." And you have to do the same. You have to simply do the same. Girl, who told you that you can't? Who told you that? And why did you believe that person? Just why?
In order to start obsessing with your life, you have to make your own life interesting enough for you, not for other people, not for social media, for you. What is it that you always wanted to do? Maybe starting, you know, a YouTube channel. Maybe you always wanted to go do dance classes. Maybe always wanted to learn a new language. Like, this life is so interesting and beautiful. And stop limiting yourself. And whenever you find yourself doing things that you love, like, of course, there's work, and there's hobbies. But whenever you start romanticizing your life and you start doing things that you love, not that you have to do, you will be like, "Wow, I'm happy and excited to wake up tomorrow. Like, what is it that tomorrow is going to bring to me into my life?" Like, you're going to be happy in your life, and you will want to attract someone who's going to add to your life, not who's going to take away from you. Or you're not going to jump into someone else's life because your life is not interesting. And you will think that, "Oh, whenever I'm with this person, I feel full. I feel fulfilled." Like, it's just a wrong way to live your life, girl. You really have to live your life for you. Like, the main reason to be here is to live your experience. Every second of your life is your own experience, your own thoughts, your own mind, your own time with yourself. It's about you, not about finding a partner. The partner is just an addition to your life. It's just like a plus one, you know? It's, it's not everything.
I honestly don't know how I know all of that at 22 years old. I don't know. I think I'm just an old soul with a pigeon, and I was sent to this world to inspire people, maybe. I don't know. But I really hope that everything that I'm talking about resonates with you, and I really hope that this information is helping you because I do care about you. I do care about you succeeding and feeling feeling well and feeling happy because I've been there, girl, and I know how shitty it feels to be ghosted, to be cheated on, to be dumped. Like, wake up. It's time for you to make the rules. Thank you so much for watching this video. I really appreciate you guys for staying till the end. And let me know in the comments what did you like about this video the most? What do you want to talk about in the next video? And again, I love you so much. Thank you for watching. And remember that today is your date. Boss ass, boss ass. [Applause]