Transcription
[Music] Marlon, help me. Here we go.
Hi, I'm Sirius Black. I know. Hi, I'm Sirius Black. Oh, you're—you don't know what to do. Oh, bless you. So, when I say I'm Sirius Black, you have to also introduce yourself. Hi, I'm Regulus Black. Doesn't matter what I'm doing. No, no, no, no. It doesn't matter what am I supposed to do? Because if I'm not doing it correctly, I'd rather do it correctly sooner, and then this would all be over. Hi, I'm Sirius Black. I'm Regulus Black, and today my little baby brother and I are going to do the sibling tag. [Music]
We are filming this video from home sweet home. It's months out for now. I don't want Mother to come home and find you here. Even if she does, what's she going to do? Yeah, she'll chase after you with the Christian artists, guys, and then she'll come chasing after me with the group shot, just girls at this point. Mother throwing Cruciatus Curse at me. It tickles more than anything. Right, left, up, down, in, out, shake it all about. You do the Hokey Cokey. Are you ready? Yeah, hit me. Not literally.
What do you like about each other? I like that you stay out of my way. Yeah, mostly because I can't stand the smell of you. I just appreciate that we ignored each other for seven years and pretended that we weren't brothers. Really? I remember that because when I was getting sorted, you absolutely point-blank refused to make eye contact with me. Oh, because I knew where you were going to be sorted into. What annoys you about them? Well, Mother's coming back in an hour, and I don't really think that's quite long enough to—uh, you need longer than that. Yeah. Exhaust my list, giving your three top points. Uh, your face, first, which is handsome, and it's naturally lost for you that it's not here anymore; your over-exaggerated hand gestures, completely ridiculous; just because the entire family doesn't know how to do emotion in any way, I have to compensate for that whole family. No, you're absolutely exhausting, and also just your constant ability to find a problem with everything or overreact to anything. I don't know, I don't overreact. My tie is too tight. Whatever shall I do? I don't know, Sirius, try and loosen it. I don't overreact. I've never overreacted—webs in my life. Okay, I'm overreacting. No, I see your point. Yeah, I see your—actually, I do actually overreact to a lot of stuff, quite a lot. This is a moment of self-discovery, I think. And I have told you constantly throughout our entire childhood that you overreact. Was that entire childhood? I don't know a time—you sound like Mother. Thank you. Oh, no, it's not a compliment; it is an insult.
What was the last hour you sent to each other? I remember what was it? I sent you the drawing of the middle finger. Oh, right. Yeah, and I didn't write back. Obviously, you didn't write back, even though I told you explicitly to respond to it. It was very detailed. Oh, it was absolutely—do you know how hard it is to draw hands? It upset me that you didn't respond. Actually, I knew it. No, I—I opened it and threw it in the fire.
What do you have in common? We have the same hair color. We have the same surname. We do. We are both named after stars. We both went to Hogwarts. Mm-hmm. We're both in ones. I think the question is actually like, what do you have in common as people? We both are so dissimilar. Yes, that much is quite obvious. This whole time you've been gesticulating with your hands to emphasize your point, and it's quite tight, right? Thank you. Three adjectives to describe one another. I want to go first: moody, pliable, sycophantic. What? No, sorry. Sorry, pliable. Pliable. No, backtrack just a little bit. All right, what exactly do you mean when you say pliable? That you're easily used and manipulated, namely by Mother. I've got you. I've got you pegged. Pliable by those little friends that run around with you. No, because Gryffindor house—look, I understand, Regulus, you don't understand what it's like to have friends, and that's fine. I had—no, I do. You don't take a single moment to get interested in my life, and therefore you don't know if I have friends. I don't have friends. I do. Right now, me, one friend. You have Lucius Malfoy. Yeah, this just—Malfoy doesn't even like himself. I know. I think he's a little bit full of himself. Actually, I don't think he actually likes himself, though. Usually the most confident people are the most insecure people. Three adjectives to describe me: annoying, big-headed, homosexual. Only one of those is true.
What is your brother's weird obsession? Oh, we all know this, don't we? What, James Potter? Care to explain how that's weird in any way? Every time you're asked a question, you answered, "Well, James would say this, James would think that, James would do this, James, James, James, James, James." Meanwhile, James doesn't seem all that too obsessed about you. I quote James on multiple occasions because James Potter is always correct. But James Potter is more of a brother to me than you will ever be. If you received an owl that your sibling was in jail, what would they be in jail for? I reckon you would go to jail for finally having enough and murdering Mother. You're laughing because it's uncomfortably true. No, it's not. Is it not? No. Mother loves me. No, because I do everything that she wants me to do. Oh, oh, ow. Say that again. I do everything she wants me to do. Okay. No, say—no, no, say it a third time and listen to yourself. I do everything she wants me to do. You're not your own person, Regulus. No, clearly, and you're never going to be more than a Mummy's boy, and you're never going to be anything greater than that. All right, end of conversation. This is why you and I could never get on. Bloody hell, it's just because you're—you're so boring, and you're so—you're so nothing. There's nothing about you. You don't have a personality, Regulus. No, because you have too much of one. There's no such thing. You do. No, this is—nobody—no, this is who I am. And Mother said I couldn't be that, and I'm finally being that. I'm finally being who I want to be. Where's the problem with that? There's no problem with that. No, no, no, no. There's no—you led into it like there was a problem with that, Regulus. So what is the problem with that? There is a problem with that because you go about your life, your whole entire life, kicking up a fuss every moment and defying Mother and defying Father and setting up this bar—you're—you're—you're setting yourself up right for failure. And then when I come along, they see exactly what you've done and then do the absolute best to make sure I do not follow in your—I'm definitely—I don't have an option. I'm defying Mother and Father because they're psychopaths, Regulus, because they're bad people, because they're abusers. Merlin, help me. They should never have reproduced. Parents shouldn't hurt their children the way they hurt us. Uh, I didn't come here to do this. I came here to do a fun video, to see you because you're my little brother, to check that you were okay. That's very kind of you. [Music]
I haven't been the best—problem. I haven't been the big brother you needed, but I'm trying to be now, and I'm trying to let you see that there is—there is something else. There is something more than—than this—than this bloody pathetic family. Seriously. I agree with my hair, you know, 'cause I knew he'd piss off Mother. And the beard. And the beard. And the tattoos. I only went into Gryffindor because I knew it would annoy her. I knew it would upset her, and I did. She hates it. I'm doing everything in my power to make her hate me. All I've done is create an antithesis of what she wanted, which is you. When really what I should be doing is not caring what she thinks. You shouldn't—you were exactly what she was hoping I'd be, exactly. So why are you doing it? I just used you as a bad example of what she doesn't want, and that's what—how unhappy you were for the longest time, and don't even pretend that you weren't, because you were. Oh, bloody miserable. Here, but I—um—I don't want to sound cruel, but there are bigger things going on right now than our Mother, and there are—and I'm not going to disagree with you about that. There are. So if you've only got a few months to live, you might as well make them the bloody happiest you've ever been. Because if you stay here, you're only going to get tangled up with the wrong side, because our family doesn't have the greatest reputation for—no, well, for anything. No. Do you really think I haven't got tangled up already? [Music] [Music] [Music] Then [Music] Do you know—I know this great man called, um, Albus Dumbledore. Best man I know. James Potter. He's always been quite adamant that it's never too late for anyone to [Music] do the right thing. And what's that? Leave with me. Oh, they come with me. Leave with me right now. Why not? No, why not? Give me a good reason why you can't. Because she is controlling you so much, and that is—it's not—it's not about her. Like I said, there are bigger things at stake than her right now. Don't tell me you'd agree. Don't you dare tell me you agree. I don't know exactly what you want me to say right now. He's been recruiting for years. Well, I've been Sirius Black, and this has been my little brother, Regulus. I don't think we can bloody call it a sibling tag because I don't want you to call me your brother again. Don't you—don't you ever call me your brother again. If you actually believe in all of that, why don't you go then? Because you're my little brother. [Music] Yeah, Mother's going to be home soon; he should probably go. You're a real credit to the Black name. So [Music] you.