Transcription
Welcome everyone. This week, we're going to speak about the concept of frustration, right? How many of us go through frustrating moments? At least, we go through it 500,000 times in a day. Yes, that something happens in our life that we don't like, that bothers us, that we don't agree with, that that flusters us, that causes us to go slower, that causes us to be unmotivated about life, that causes us to feel sidetracked from my goals and what I'm trying to accomplish.
Frustration is a big thing. Ravashlag, the founder of the Kabbalah Center and perhaps the greatest capitalist of our generation, revealed so many profound secrets about human behavior and, according to Kabbalah, how the soul interacts with this world. And one of the concepts which is pretty new, and I don't think most people even speak about it, is what causes a person to be bothered or frustrated in life.
Ravashlag says it is all because of a concept that we call bread of shame. Bread of shame. Now, literally, bread of shame doesn't really mean anything, but bread of shame is a concept that describes a feeling when I receive something that I didn't earn, right? So a child born to a very wealthy family who gets everything for free, obviously at some point starts to resent his family, starts to be bored, starts to have no fun in his life because he has everything. He didn't work for anything. It's safe to say that this child has bread of shame.
Bread of shame, or let's say you buy a five thousand piece puzzle for your five-year-old boy, and instead of giving him the puzzle and having him make it, you make the puzzle and you hand it to him. How did the child feel? You gave him a ready-made puzzle. The child is frustrated. The child has bread of shame.
Bread of shame is the feeling of when I got something and I didn't work for it. It's when my friend lets me stay at his house and I have no way of repaying him, I have no way of getting anything back. I feel shame. I feel what's called bread of shame. Bread of shame is when I got too much and I didn't give.
And Ravashlag explains why am I bothered in my life? Why am I impatient? Impatience and frustration comes from when a person has bread of shame, when a person received too much that day. You can be guaranteed that he's going to be bothered by the end of the day. Something will bother him. It's an amazing concept if you really think about it.
Every time I'm frustrated with life, I'm bothered by someone, I'm impatient, I don't have time for something, or I feel like someone's getting on my nerves, they're getting in my way. I'm just trying to go to work, I'm just trying to be successful, I'm just trying to help, but you're bothering me. I'm frustrated. This is a sign that I've been taking too much. I've been receiving too much. And because I've been receiving so much, every little thing is triggering me, and I'm being bothered, and I'm being upset, and I'm being judgmental, and I'm wondering why he's doing this, while he's doing that. I'm being frustrated. This is all because I received too much.
That's the sickness. Receiving too much is a sickness because when I receive too much, I'm not God. God doesn't receive. God shares. The creator is a giving force. So if I'm receiving all day long, of course I'm disconnected from the light of the creator, and of course I feel dark, and of course I feel frustrated, of course I feel judgmental.
And we think that the solution is get out of my way. We think the solution is remove the obstacle in front of me. That's not the solution. That person is just triggering you. The solution is stop taking. Look where you've been taking energy. You've been in, you feel entitled to energy, and start giving. You'll see that the minute you change the direction of the of receiving energy to giving energy, you're not impatient anymore, naturally. And a person could be bothering you and you won't be upset.
This is power. This is what it means to be invincible. We will never get to a place that we will remove the obstacles in our life by telling them to go away, by shouting at them, by screaming at them, by blaming them, by convincing them, by giving them a good argument why it should be X, Y, and Z. The only way to remove the obstacles in our life is to get to a place that I'm not taking so much energy because then I won't be bothered.
Because think about it, when I'm taking so much, it means I don't have appreciation for anything. I don't have appreciation for life. I don't have appreciation for what I'm receiving. But when I'm giving, I feel appreciation. I feel the connection to my surroundings, and I won't be bothered. If I'm truly giving, many times people are fake giving. They're giving, and if you find yourself giving and getting bothered, it means you're not really giving. True giving, you're connected to the light. You're not frustrated because you're just connected.
And I hope you feel what that means. Each one of us, you know, imagine that time you really fell in love. You fell in love, you fell in love, and all day long you're, you know, you go on the honeymoon and you're giving and you're sharing. Are you doing? And what do you need, honey? And let me take care of you. Nothing bothers you because you're in the constant state of giving.
A couple months later in the marriage, the honeymoon is over, and you don't wake up in the morning to go squeeze fresh orange juice for her. You go to the fridge, you look for the Sunny Delight or the or the carton with the orange with the little uh straw in it, and you pour it in. Maybe that's what you bring. You don't bring the fresh juice anymore. And maybe after two years, you wake up and you wonder why she's not bringing you orange juice. So all of a sudden, everything bothers you.
Why does everything bother you? Because you're looking to take. If you were giving from day one, squeezing the fresh oranges every morning, you would not be frustrated. You would be excited. Yes, it might be painful to get out of bed initially, but once you're doing it, you're so excited and you're not bothered by little things.
But we see the details of garbage in this world. When we're taking, it's easy to blame the politicians, blame the people, blame my mother, blame the law, blame the circumstance, blame the traffic, blame the city, blame the pollution, blame everybody. And that's usually a great indication of I'm taking. But what they're doing is wrong. Maybe what they're doing is wrong, but the fact that it bothers you is because of taking consciousness.
Because I promise you, when you were in love for the first time ever, and you couldn't eat, and you couldn't sleep, and you loved everybody, there could be a world war going on, and it probably wouldn't bother you because you're in love. You have the one you love, and you hold her tight. But of course, when you're in taking mode, when you don't feel like you're giving everything, will bother you. Good people will bother you. Happy people will bother you. Everything will seem bothersome. That's frustration.
Frustration comes from when I took too much. When you find yourself being impatient, when you find yourself sitting in traffic and wondering why is it not moving, forget about it. It's not about why is it moving or not. It's about, wow, where am I taking a lot? Oh my God, I realized every phone call I made today was just about me getting something, me taking something, even with my wife this morning, it was just about me, me, me. That's why I'm frustrated. It's not about the traffic. It's not about the traffic.
This week, take inventory. When I'm frustrated, when I'm stressed out, when I'm impatient, I must be taking something too much from some part of my life. Reverse it and immediately start the giving process. Giving outside of yourself, giving in an uncomfortable way. You'll see very quickly that the frustration and the negativity goes away.