How 'SINGLES' can avoid PROBLEMATIC 'MARRIAGES'

How singles can avoid problematic marriages. We take to test this morning. We share from two scriptures.

Proverbs chapter 27, verse 12, Good News Translation, provides 27:12. Good News Translation says, "Sensible people we see trouble coming and avoid it. But our non-thinking person, we walk right into it and regret it later." I pray that from today, God will guide you in every decision and choice you will make in life, and you will never make a decision or choice that you later regret, in the name of Jesus.

And then we'll look at Amos chapter 3, verse 3. Amos 3, verse 3 says, New Living Translation, "Can two people walk together without agreeing on the direction? Can two people walk together without agreeing on the direction?"

So the topic today: How singles, eligible men and women for marriage, can avoid problem entering into problematic marriages. And we begin by first of all, quickly just highlighting to you the key points that we have discovered from a very comprehensive result on why some marriages end in divorce. And among these major reasons that may have led to the breakup of many marriages include: life-threatening situations, physical assaults, and violent reactions, lack of brokenness, consistent disrespect and contempt for your spouse. They also include sex-related complaints, frequent verbal abuse and use of hateful words, no regard for God and God's Word, external influences, adultery and emotional infidelity, inability to be children or a mere child, excessive bitterness, an unforgiving spirit, wrong values, lack of wholehearted commitment to the marriage, spiritual attacks, lack of trust, possessive jealousy, and frequent false allegations, loneliness, frequent absence of your spouse, the lack of love, care, and support, bitterness, and insincerity. Another reason, then religion and faith-based issues, finance-related complaints, then impatience, unfair weather attitude. And then the last one that was also observed that some of the real reasons behind a breakup of many marriages actually are concealed. So what one or two of the couple may share may be talking about it may not be the real reason.

How singles, eligible men, eligible ladies for marriage, who are ready for marriage, can avoid getting themselves into the experience of problematic marriages. I want you to take note that they have we've identified four types of problematic spouses. Four types of problematic spouses in marriage. And the first one, number one, the problematic spouse was truly godly and had a good track record of the attributes of the qualities of a good husband. She had a good track record of the qualities of a good wife before marriage. But after marriage, the husband changed. The man changed after marriage. The lady, the woman changed and started indulging in ungodly acts and unpleasant behavior. In this instance, the solution is prayer. Because in this instance, it's most likely you never made a mistake. You never made a mistake. It's just unfortunate that this is the kind of trial that has showed up in your life. And with God on your side, through patience, intercession, persistent intercession, God will ultimately bring about a turnaround. Like the prodigal son, that man would revert back to his good old self. That lady will revert back to her good old self. Prayer is required. Intercession, patience, tolerance will be required in dealing with cases like this.

And then number two, the second type of problematic spouses is the case where this problematic spouse pretended to be who he was not. She pretended to be who she is not. So we see instances, and this is happening more in this present times. The level of deception, the level of criticism has gone to incredible heights, incredible heights. And that is why you see someone that does not have any heart for God would not only start going to church. The person will deliberately join the workforce or walk in a volunteer team of a church. The person would deliberately position himself or herself in a very conspicuous department of the church, later choir, or the department where the person, he or she, starts getting his Sabbath. People go to incredible heights in their schemes, in their deception. So in the second instance, the problematic spouse pretended to be what he is not, to be who she's not. They pretended indeed. Like, for instance, in the realm of their supposed spiritual beliefs, we have seen someone get married, man dark fever, surprisingly change to another faith, not too long after the marriage. And we have seen some instances on the other side as well. So if seen pretends in the realm of beliefs, passion, level of morality, we have, you know, the man or woman pretends to have sheer some high moral values. All of this is just to win the confidence, win the trust, and an attractive proposal of that targeted man or woman. We've seen people, husbands and wives, who pretend that before marriage about their core values, their likes, their dislikes. We have seen people who like a particular thing that is ungodly, that is not right, but before marriage, they pretend that so well that they dislike it. Things are happening, and some of you listening to me right now, God is speaking to you, even through this particular point. And the Lord is saying, put aside pretense. In the Holy Scriptures, it is often referred regarded as hypocrisy. Put it aside and live a real and true life. Some are pretending about their attitude. And because he's so desperate to get her to marry him, he hides that aspect of himself, that you know, aspect of him, that uncontrolled anger, that violent tendency, that bad temper. He comes, he hides it. Every time he's around that lady. So even when he's offended, he's provoked, and she does things, he does it all, surprisingly keeps calm. And the lady begins to assume that the man is a gentleman, gentleman, gentleman. A man is a criminal, not a gentleman. I may, you know, be trapped into a wrong marriage, into a marriage with the wrong person. And we have also seen on the other hand, some ladies as well who have issues with temper, with anger, who can't submit. And because they have found out that this is the reason why they are not yet married, so they become desperate. And in their desperation, that desperation is not applied positively in terms of going out of their way to change and put aside that bad character trait. Instead, the desperation pushes them into pretense. Oh, so if my man observes this about me, he could run away. So she makes up her mind to pretend. So the kind of things that would provoke her, the kind of things that would make her react in her usual form, when they happen around him, she would not react. Yet all of this is an attempt to get him to marry her. I pray for every single man, single lady listening to me, that you may not fall into marriage with the wrong man, wrong woman, through their deceit and pretense, in the name of Jesus. And also, some have pretended in the area of chastity, fidelity. We have even seen cases where because the lady is very godly and she insists that there'll be no premarital sex, the man would no longer bother her. And then while he is still in courtship with her, he would look for another lady. He will have some other ladies that he'll be having sexual intercourse with, even in the days of courtship. So you may just have a false impression that this man, it, but I mean about premarital sex, so I think he's not one of these guys that you know, be running after women. Even after marriage, we are wrong. You are wrong because he's doing it already, even though he may not be bothering you about it because he knows your stand in the faith. And it's also the same vice versa. That is why you have to be very, very prayerful to avoid becoming a victim of this trap of the men and women who are entering into marriage using the key of pretense and hiding their true character from their proposed, their spouse. And some also pretend about their lifestyles or pretend about their habits, only to reveal it after the marriage. So as a result of the man's pretense, the lady has the confidence to go ahead and marry him. As a result of the woman's pretense, the man has the confidence to go out to propose to her and eventually marry her. And eventually, after marriage, sometimes the pretense, the pretense mystique continued until a child has come. At that stage, everything that had been hidden, everything that had been concealed, will not become evident. May you never be a victim in Jesus' name.

And then the third type of problematic spouse, the problematic spouse. This kind would occasionally, occasionally exhibit very negative traits and tendencies. Would occasionally, occasionally exhibit negative traits and tendencies long before the marriage, yet without any serious sign of change. The partner still remaining cultured to that person and later went ahead to marry him or her. So occasionally there were signs. Occasionally, you know, he had studies showing some of these traits we mentioned earlier. Those 10 traits that the women detest so much in coming about a host time. Those 10 traits that a woman also detests so much from the man, that a man also detests so much from a wife. They saw some of these traits even during courtship. He was already bitter during courtship. She caught him many times with some other women during courtship. He already observed that she was very disrespectful, even to people in her family, in her workplace, that she ought to accord respect. The only person she seemed to be so respectful to was himself. Or sometimes he actually experienced it himself. Or somehow he hoped that he would change, that she would change in the time of marriage.

And then the fourth type of problematic spouse is the one that consistently exhibits some very negative traits and tendencies. And this is a real bad case. Consistently, he was showing the signs. Consistently, she was showing the signs long before the marriage, yet without any serious sign of remorse, without any sign of repentance, without any sign of change in attitude. The partner still went into courtship and subsequently married that person. So you as well, Ram, begin to close it off. You not ask yourself, why do single men and single women make this mistake? Now, the truth is, most men or ladies who make this mistake carelessly ignore the red flags. They ignore the warning signals. That day, or someone else, because it doesn't have to be you. It doesn't have to be you that will see these red flags. It doesn't have to be you that will see these warning signals. It's just that when it's coming from another person, verified to be sure it's true. They saw the signals, but they chose to go ahead and marry such persons based on some common reasons. And how quickly, I'll show you some of those reasons. And what are these reasons that made these men and women stick, Ojeda, marry such problematic spouses?

One is pressure to get married. I am 30 years old. I am not 35 years old. All my friends are married. All my younger sisters are married. Pressure to get married. And then sometimes the pressure is pressure to marry the particular person. There is this belief that it's just him or it's just her, or never. Only to get married and discover actually it's a great mistake in life.

And number two, the second reason why they make this mistake is as a result of impatience. Impressions. In fact, it's so bad that if we were to put about 200 Christian or 100 Christian virtues on a website, and aside any site online for singles, for young men and women to check out, from time to time, you are going to observe that the traffic to the topic on patience will be very low. The traffic, the virtue of patience is not a message that a lot of people want to listen to anymore. And it is the reason why many are going into serious complicated issues in some areas of your life. So impatience has led a lot of people into your own marriage.

Desperation to get married. And then sometimes you are seen the sickness, you see the red flags. But someone that doesn't share your values. Some people assume there are mothers who do know who don't mind their daughter getting married to an ungodly man, a man who is always out drinking, a man who is always into one negative thing or the other. They don't mind because he is from a very prominent family. The mother's values are different from the values of that godly daughter. So there will be conflict of interest. And so when God has helped you to see these negative signs in the life of that young man, and you are hesitating to commit, there is an ungodly influence around your life that is putting pressure, pressurizing you to go ahead and don't, don't for any reason lose that man. And then it's not too long, give one month, two months into the marriage, and you begin to see what you actually anticipated. It begins to play out. And that ungodly influence, they'll push you into it, will not be there with you in the marriage.

And then number three, sympathy. Oh, the man has done so much for me. The man has, in fact, he trained me from a primary school, from secondary school to the university. He's the man that sponsored. He's the man that set up my business. He's the man, you know, or some other reason, or has been so supportive to your family. So supportive. Sympathy. Sympathy. Or in fact, you know, despite these signs you are seeing, you know, there is this feeling that, oh, if you leave him, if you said no and call up that courtship, this one can take his life. This one can take her life. Brother, sister, yeah, there is wisdom for every pop. Everything that needs to be done in life. And getting married for that kind of reason is your own wisest thing you could imagine. So sympathy has pushed some singles into wrong marriages.

And then what's the next one? Physical attraction, sexual attraction. In this present time, with all the issues you are sailing married, a lot of them having to do with character, you will still find a lot of people getting married to that man just because of his physical features. So for some, it's that they want a tall man, want a man of so, a particular complexion, a man that is, you know, this way. And then his even worse for the man when it comes to physical news. So physical attraction, sexual attraction. And before you know it, you begin to imagine like, by the time I said to with this one, by the time I handle this one, and before you know it, we who have not played anything. And if you prayed with that mentality, all you hear in the spirit will be yes, yes, yes, that is your husband. Yes, yes, yes, that is your wife. Then the next thing is excessive lust, uncontrollable sexual or excessive lust. You just feel, oh, no, no, no, you can be addressed it anymore. You can be it anymore. And since you don't want to now start getting involved in fornication, you just feel that him, they would only way forward is anyone that comes now, you go with that. You go with him. You go with her. And then following that is bound to the trap of seduction and marital sex and premarital sex. The kisses, the lady who is obviously desperate to hook that particular guy would of course seduce him and take it for them by ensuring she leads him into sexual intercourse. And from one of the points I'm going to mention at the end, we would even discover that now beyond using sexual factors to, you know, to manipulate men into marriage, some of these people now use aquatic means. They patronize witches, witches and wizards who are now operating openly online, advertising different kinds of so-called packages. And they will even tell you clearly that when you make, place an order, they will meet the name of the man, the name, your name, and the name of the man you are targeting. They will need, you know, certain teams, and that they will do white rituals. That is, if a witch is talking to you, if the person talking is a lady, she's a witch. If the man promoting that product, talk is a man promoting a product, that man is a wizard. And let me warn you, if you ever get yourself involved in such things, you have become a blind witch. If you use those products, you have become a blind witch. You have initiated yourself without knowing. You need to be very, very careful. Things are happening. There are some people today, you sleep with them once, you are gone. You are gone. You are gone. So if you are the type, you cannot control yourself, or you are the maybe you are also a very controversial young man yourself, you are not godly, and you are just taking advantage of single ladies, jumping from one to the other, luring them into sex. If one day, you know, the law of karma is going to push you into the hands, into the laps and hands of a woman that is your type. So I pray that anyone listening right now, in any way involved in such, God is calling everyone to repentance. Life is enjoyable in the godly part. You can live a godly life and have a wonderful experience every day of your life.

And then, because of time, one of the factors, financial considerations. So some singles go into such marriages, even when they have seen sickness, as a result of financial considerations. Attraction to wealth, attraction to financial benefits, gold digger mentality. Sometimes the attraction, you know, the financial attraction is about the man. Sometimes it's about his family. And because of that financial factor, you have seen in the man or in the from the family, psycho, you want to get to marry to him at all cost, even where you see very negative traits about that same man, about the same woman.

And then next to that is attraction to fame or popularity. Oh yes, you just want to get married to him because he's very popular, he's a household name. You already thinking of it. Uh, by the time you start, by the time you announce to your friends the person you are dating, you can already predict the reaction of people. So attraction to fame, attraction to popularity of the person or someone in his family.

And then the next one to that is attraction to exceptional talent. Oh yes, this happens. The person is a very good footballer, it's tough, Ebola is a sign, some kind, one of the sports, major sports, and that of course is going to draw the hearts of certain people to him or her. And some would even want to marry just for that exceptional talent that the man has, that a woman has. And of course, we see people with exceptional talents in the movie industry, in the music industry, in the dance, you know, all of these areas that attainment and the rest of it. And someone, some people would just want to marry them, even when they have no character content, no moral content. They are just after the person's exceptional talent.

And then the next one is attraction to power and influence. Some singles would blindly go into marriage with the wrong person because they are attracted to the level, the measure of influence that that person controls, or the power influence of someone in the person's family. Or as a son of the governor, does the son of the senator, does a son of the president, as a son of the minister, can some of these positions are, you know, temporary positions. Our backs about eight years. And that is your easy. There's no me wrong. And getting married to children, you know, from such a background. But we are talking about what you see negative signals, traits, tendencies in the life of a man, in the life of a woman, and you will blindly go ahead in marriage. These are the reasons that move a lot of singles to ignore those red flags, ignore those negative traits and warning signals. As if launched themselves is there. And Proverbs to the seventh verse twelve says, "is the wisest sensible one, we see trouble coming and they would talk. They will see trouble coming and they would hide." You see, man, you know, a lady who has no interest in things of substance, but the mutant things are the things that are interested. We have seen as fish on. We're singles of singles are given in marriage counseling manual intending and to read ahead of their classes, and they never got you that manual. It contains all the seeds of wisdom that you use to operate as a good husband, as a good wife. It shows you whether what to watch out for, when are your spouse, you'll be compatible with your spouse. Although they won't read. And the Lord is speaking to your heart that you need to focus more on the more important things of life. Kanaya, you see, yes, Lord.

And of course, attraction to an office, attraction to a position of the person or of someone in his or her family has pushed a lot of people into marriage. The moment certain people are tying to an exalted office, people want to marry anybody related to that person in office. And if it's a present in office, he is this single, he becomes a major target. And then there are some opportunistic calculations. Some do too opportunistic calculations. And then I enclose in the topic, spiritual manipulations is the reason why some singles have fallen into these traps. Yes. Now, this happens in different ways. Sometimes it's not the man that uses charm, that uses spells, that uses a love potion to manipulate that lady. It's the mother of the man. It's the father of the man. Sometimes it's the man himself. And sometimes it's the lady. And as I said earlier, we have a lot of things that are happening. You see some witches are online advertising different types of her charms, spells, love potions that you will use to win the heart of a man and lure him into marriage. And if you check on such sites, you will discover that such a witch has so many followers. And a lot of these followers are married women. A lot of them are single women. Does that not already tell you something? That a lot of singles are using charms, witchcraft, fairs to hook up targeted men into marriage. Some for monetary benefits. You need to be careful. You need to be prayerful. And sometimes it's not a lady, but that his fetish. It's the mother of the lady. The mother, the lady is a fetish woman. She's a desperate woman. And when she's desperate, she can go to witchcraft aquatic levels or aims to get whatever influence will be a tool of influence to have a way. And this has happened a lot, and it is happening more in this present time. May you never be a victim of spiritual manipulation. And I decree by the grace of God that there are no internal grace of God flowing, even right now. I decree upon everyone listening to this message who is under the influence of a charm. The Lord Almighty neutralize the power of that charm. Did not break the power of that charm out of your life, out of the life of your husband, out of the life of your spouse, and out of the life of that loved one, in the name of Jesus. Anyone listening to this message used under the influence of his spare, in love potion, the Lord neutralized that spell. The Lord neutralized that love potion away from your life, away from your loved one, away from your spouse, in the name of Jesus.

So at this point, I would like us to pray. By praying for both the married and the singles, the eligibles. Our Father, now God, we thank you for your word. And has comfort, we thank you, Lord, for every life you have mini stature by reason of your word. Lord, we pray that as many as already married, you will minister to them in your very special, unique way, in the name of Jesus. Lord, we pray that you will bring forth deliverance, bring forth healing, bring forth restoration to every married person listening to this message. Lord, we pray also for the analytical single, the eligible single men, eligible single women, that Lord, you will have mercy over their goal. Lord, we are asking that you will express your divine influence and save them from going into the wrong marriage, in the name of Jesus. Any of these sentiments and negative influences that could have made them to still go ahead, Father, silence these contrary forces, that these eligible singles may go only in your perfect will and your perfect direction, in the name of Jesus. Lord, I pray for that couple that has been waiting upon you for the fruit of the womb. As you are leading me to pray for couples right now, waiting on you for the fruit of the womb, Father, I pray that your miracle-working power will touch every expectant couple right now. Now, this time around, there will be conception. This time around, there will be no miscarriage. This time around, they will be safe delivery. Sets of twins, beautiful baby girls, bouncing baby boys, to your glory and to the joy of every such family, in the name of Jesus. Our Lord and our God, we pray that you will minister to anyone waiting on you right now for a divine intervention concerning any issue of life. Lord, grant that man, that woman, that family, the timely divine intervention. Lord, for those who have already brought 17 so far in their life, just waiting for perfection. Lord, let your grace for perfection rest upon every such person listening to this message now. Within a record time from today, Lord, they will receive good news concerning an answered prayer, in the name of Jesus. Thank you, Heavenly Father, in Jesus' mighty name, we hallelujah.

Thank you so much for your time with us in the presence of the Lord. We also thank you for an open heart to receive God's treasured words of wisdom, cancer. And I trust God that as you apply the seeds of cancer new hair today, the best, the very best is waiting to unfold for you, in the name of Jesus. Thank you for your time with us. Jesus have atelic our assembly, the house. God bless you. Bless you.