Transcription
All right. What's up, my brothers? This video is actually more for the sisters out there. I had a gal sponsor this video and she was asking me why men aren't willing to marry anymore. She's confused. So, I thought I would create this video standalone to sort of answer that question cuz I've dealt with a lot of guys, high net worth guys that are doing real well in life. They're putting a dent in the universe and they just don't see any value in getting married. So, in this video, I want to sort of clarify that. And for those guys watching, I'd love to hear you chime in the comments below. Let me know what your reasons are for staying on the sidelines cuz many of you have told me the exact same stuff that I'm starting to talk about here. Got four main categories. Let's get into number one.
Well, the first thing is is really that women aren't wives anymore. I should say wife material anymore. You know, the social contract when it came to marriage has changed dramatically over the last several hundred years. There was a time where you would get a agreeable virgin who had culinary skills that often came with a dowry that wanted to have children and be a wife and a mother and make a house a home. That social contract's been flipped around now. And very rarely do men today get a woman that's agreeable, a virgin. I think something like 95% of women have had past sexual encounters before getting married. Average age of marriage is 30. So you can do the math, you can figure that out. There's no dowry anymore. The dowry has been eliminated for well over 100 years now. The dowry system was a great system, by the way. I think we should bring that back. You want to encourage men to get married, offer them a dowry. Also, back in the day, if the nuptials didn't work out, if the wedding didn't work out, she would often leave leave the kids behind with him. So he would get the kids, he would keep the dowry, and there was no division of assets. There was nothing like that. and she would often just go to her father uh and he would look after her or she would go and work in a brothel or something like that.
In my most recent book, The Topshelf Man, I described this avatar called Becky. And Becky is not one single woman. She's a collection of many, many women. In fact, you can read about it in my newest book. It's available on Amazon. But essentially, you know, your Becky's of the world are boss girls. They've climbed the corporate ladder. They're making good money. They've got their degrees. 17 throw pillows on their decorative bed. It looks fantastic and impeccable. And many times these women, they often bark at or they sneer at men for being in their spaces, for not putting their decorative pillows in alignment the way that they should be, if you know what I'm saying. So, one of the biggest reasons, guys, is that really, you know, the social contract has changed that dramatically and it's not that enticing or it's not nearly as enticing as it used to be for men back in the day.
The second issue is financial risks. And I talked about this briefly earlier, but financial risks are a very, very real problem. The family court system today is exceptionally hostile in most western countries, states, provinces. I'm going to say this again. It's very hostile towards men because women are hypergamous and they date and marry across and up. You see this all the time. Women admit this frequently on podcast interviews and street interviews. They're not looking for an equal. They're not looking for a quote unquote partner, even though you hear that word partner used a lot. They're looking for a man of superior socioeconomic status. That's why Becky the hairdresser that's making $50,000 a year is shooting for uh Steve from the VP of accounting role at the large accounting firm making a4 million a year as a seuite executive. See what I'm saying? These guys put a lot on the line. And women, if you bring up the notion of a prenuptual agreement, they often lose their minds. Oh, that's setting this up for divorce. That's horrible. You don't really love me. I'm not here for the money. You know, you're starting to hear the standard narratives. You know what the funny thing is? Is they've actually done some studies on prenuptual agreements, and prenups reduce the chance of divorce by about 14%. Which is pretty significant. And I think we know why the chance of divorce is reduced by 14%. It's because there's really nothing to gain for her to leave if there's a strong prenuptual agreement in place. The financial risks are very, very real. There's many of men that have gotten married to a woman. Few years down the road, 2, three years down the road, she discovers this isn't for me. I don't want to spend the rest of my life with this guy. The pool boy looks hotter. Whatever the reason is, it doesn't matter. There's no fault divorce. And she says, "I want to untie the knot." Something along the lines of, "I love you, but I'm not in love with you. I'm taking the kids to my mom's for the weekend. I want a divorce." something like that, something approximating that. Well, then he gives up half of his stuff in the matrimonial assets because it's marriage or he's lived in a way that looks like marriage. Let's call it that. He'll be forced to pay child support and she'll always go for the custodial parent, which means she'll want the kids most of the time. And it's not to parent the kids or it's not because it's better for the kids. It's because she'll make more money if she's got the kids most of the time, right? The payment's quite a bit stronger if it's not 50/50. There are some states out there, by the way, where it's default 50/50. In Kentucky, for example, they changed the legislation and they noticed that divorce rates went down about 20% when they changed family law for default 50/50 custody with children. So, that's an improvement. But bottom line, in most places, it's still very, very hostile. Alimony, maintenance, division of access, child support, whatever you want to call it, it's not that attractive. You know, you're better off as a guy finding a woman on the street that you absolutely hate, saving yourself 3 or 4 years of headache, heartache, and tons of money, just buying her a house and giving her half your Cuz that's essentially what at least half the guys do that get into a marriage. There's of course the other half that get into a marriage that are unhappily married and they stay unhappily married. So there's that issue, too.
The third point I want to cover is it's very very hard to manage the 380s. Again, in my most recent book, The Top Shelf Man, if you haven't read it, you like my content, grab it. It's on Amazon. It's absolutely impeccable the way that I've put it together. It's a very, very well written and diagnoses many of the problems and offers prescriptions very, very well. But the three are proximity, familiarity, and exclusivity. And what I've learned is the more of these three ities that you give women, the worse they will treat you over time. Because women will demand you to do things for them. Because men love women, right? You fall in love with a woman, you want to do things to please her. So that's what you do. And she's going to want more proximity. She's going to want more familiarity with your schedule and your time. And she's going to usually want full sexual exclusivity from you. And the more of those three ities you give women, the worse off they will behave. And the last one's the most counterintuitive. When you tell guys that it's not always wise to give a woman your full sexual exclusivity, they sometimes look at you like you got three eyes or something like that. But the truth of the matter is is women behave much better over the course of a long-term relationship if they don't have proximity, familiarity, and full sexual exclusivity from you. I've broken down these three idiots on the Unplugged Alpha podcast channel. It's also broken down specifically in that chapter in my book. Again, you want to read it to get the full clarity. But it's very, very hard to manage women over the long term. Like I said, what most guys find is over time, they give more to her to try to please her, but they get less in return. That's why you see so many men searching online for how do I get my wife to sleep with me? How do I get my wife to bang me? and they cook up ideas in their head like chore play meaning if they just do a little bit more chores they might get a little bit more sexy time from their wife if you know what I'm saying.
And the fourth and final one is the marriageable aged women are really not looking for marriage. I'm going to explain that to you. Most guys that contemplate marriage that will entertain it that want a family are usually in their mid-30s to mid-40s so let's say 35 to 45. Most of these guys are at or on the decline for the for the sexual market value. So, they're at the highest peak or there's just slight slightly on the decline. Most men that age, if they're going to want to have a family, they're going to want to have more than one kid. They don't want a 39-year-old that's on your most popular dating app that's like, I want a family now. I want to have a family in the next 6 months. And if you're not ready for that, swipe left. They're not looking for those gals. They want somebody that's younger, pure, more attractive, generally more agreeable. And those are women in their 20s. Cross-culturally across any continent, any religion, they've studied this many of times with Evosych. Most men, it doesn't matter if they're 20 years old or 70 years old, find 23-year-old women attractive, be most attractive. Let me put it that way. These are the women that men who are contemplating marriage would be entertaining. The problem is is most 23-year-old women aren't contemplating marriage. Their ideas going around in their head right now are let me finish school, university, let me experience life, let me party, let me experience a bunch of guys, the Chads, the Tyron, you get the idea. Traveling Europe, exploring the world, climbing the corporate ladder, working overtime, getting more degrees, partying, you get the idea, right? like this is what their priorities are and precisely when their values highest on the sexual marketplace, these women is really when they should be looking for marriageable men that are slightly older than them, but they're not. They're trying to become men. They want to become successful. They want to get degrees. They want to make money. They want to buy the house. They want you get the idea, right? And that notion means that there's fewer and fewer women on the sexual marketplace that are serious about becoming wives and mothers. And these guys are left with uh not much in the way of options. You know, if we can be honest, it's it's only the guys on the absolute top shelf that are having the best experience that are able to find these uh pockets of good women that are that are good for wife material and mother stock. But it's just rarer and rarer and it's harder and harder to do. I think for the average guy, it's very very difficult. The average guy is going to find themselves uh settling for less, settling for maybe something like a single mom with three kids in tow from two different fathers, for example. That's usually what they end up finding themselves in a situation for. So, I get why those guys put it off cuz it's just like that's just not attractive.
So, I want to hear from you guys in the comments below. What's your take? Why is it that you sat on the sidelines? what did I miss here? And also pinned in the top comment, there's a bunch of useful links to things like my community, my books, and all the other stuff. I hope you guys have an amazing day. We'll see you guys in the next episode. Let's have a listen to this engine here. Peace out. >> I don't [music] know, I don't take I got no love for the fake. If you want to [music] play tough and want to hate this, I'll always show up.