This Lack of Self-Belief is Getting Old...

Hey guys, welcome or welcome back to the channel. Or if you're listening on Spotify, welcome back to the podcast.

This week, I'm going to shout at you guys about how you need to start believing in yourself because this is getting old. This is getting old. And until you start believing in yourself, you're going to stay where you are. You're going to stay in, like, a mediocre zone in life where you're not really achieving the heights that your soul wants you to achieve. So, you owe it to your soul to start getting over this [ __ ] old narrative that you've been feeding yourself.

Okay, this is also a note to self because this has come up with some massive realizations that I've had this week. So, you're witnessing me before a big level up, and you're witnessing me purging all the things that are stopping me from stepping into my next-level self. So, I feel very much, I don't even think I'm on a precipice anymore. I think I'm over the edge now.

I'm going to share with you the things that I've realized this week that have helped me break out of a little bit of a waiting energy, a little bit of a, um, limited energy, so that I can start really moving forward and making big decisions and getting intuitive nudges that are going to take me to the next level. And it all ties in with releasing anything within me that was still causing me to have some wavering in my belief in myself. So, let's get into it.

This week, I've really realized point number one: Whatever your income goal is, whatever your business goal is, whatever your career goal is, there's people doing what you want to do, who don't have an iota of the talent, of the skill, of the integrity, of the character that you have got. And I need you to start actually clocking this. Clock it. Because the only reason they've got the outcome and you don't is because they were delusional enough to just demand it and believe that they could have it. And so you can keep working hard, you can keep hustling, you can keep forcing, you can keep gaining qualifications and looking for validation, but until you give that validation to yourself and you say, "You know what? I am the [ __ ], I know my [ __ ], and I deserve whatever 10k days, 50k days, 100,000 views, 5 million views, whatever it is." Until you actually say that and feel you deserve it and think, "Of course, of course I have this. This is who I am. This is normal. This is natural for me. I'm that valuable. Of course." Then you're not going to have it, no matter how valuable you actually are. So, you've got to start deciding this.

And I've been, for the past few weeks, noticing my frustration within myself because I have been showing up. I've been showing up, and I've been pushing myself in my content. I've been pushing myself to think bigger and to align with a bigger vision and everything that I want to do. And I've just felt, I've become hyper-aware of this part of me that was still keeping me a little bit small, and was still a little bit insecure, and was still a little bit like, "Oh, but why would anyone? Why me? Why me?" And I've somehow managed to take out that part of me. And I'm going to take you through the realizations that probably got me over that hill. So, I probably realize as I'm speaking to you guys what, what got me there. But I'm now in an energy where I'm like, there are so many people who are so much less qualified, so much less knowledgeable, so much less flawed. And the only difference is they believe in themselves. So, what are you going to do? You're going to keep doubting yourself? Okay, stay where you are then.

So, the first thing that kicked this off is I saw a video on YouTube that had loads of views, and I thought, "Wow, this looks really interesting." And I clicked on it. And I'm not going to lie, it maybe it just wasn't for me, but the effort that went into it, the production of it, the points, like, it was just like run-of-the-mill kind of like, I think the person was like reading from something, and there was no editing. Like, I was just like, "Okay, I've been obsessing over my content, over this, over that, over this, over trying to optimize and improve everything." And that's the exact thing that's been keeping me stuck because I've been trying to fix what I'm doing and trying to fix my content and trying to make it perfect and make it better, rather than standing in the energy of, "This is already extremely [ __ ] good. This is already really deserves a lot of, this is already really, this already really deserves [ __ ] tons of views." So, there, it's not about the content, it's not about the output, it's not about the action, it's about the energy behind it. And you can apply this to anything in your life. Okay?

So, when I was doing powerlifting, I was showing up to the gym when I first started, and I was like, "I'm not good at this. I'm not naturally strong. So-and-so is stronger than me because they did sports." And guess what? I was doing the reps in the energy of someone who was weak. So, they were weak ass reps, and I wasn't really getting stronger, and I wasn't progressing, and I was failing lifts. And then I switched my mindset and I said, "You know what? I'm gonna be somebody who goes to the gym and who like works my way up the ranks and hustles and grinds, and I'm going to be one of those cases that's like an extreme transformation from super weak and no base strength to super strong. That's who I am now." And I showed up at the gym and I did the same reps, but my energy was different. So, guess what? My mind, my identity, that whole energy shifted the way that my muscles literally contracted and lifted the barbell. I stopped failing lifts. I started progressing. And so, like this, it's the same for every single area of your life. The way that you're showing up is what matters more than anything.

And then I, I got another realization that took this a step further. This coincided with me getting really back into meditation and journaling this week. So, I was a bit patchy with it lately, but recently I've been back into it. And I realized, holy [ __ ], like, I started kind of paying too much attention to things outside me when I was not meditating and not journaling. And when I came back to myself and I started tuning back into myself, my subconscious mind, my intuition, lo and behold, what happens is you start getting mental nudges. Okay?

So, let me just explain this to you guys. When you sit down and you meditate and you tune into your subconscious mind and you release your attachment to the thoughts in your conscious mind, you open up to the quantum field of possibilities. If you take that a step further and while you're meditating, you connect to a vision of some kind, what's going to happen is, maybe not on the first time you do this, but or maybe not even during the meditation, maybe during the day, your subconscious is going to start feeding you nuggets of information, ideas, just little bits of info or inspired action that you can take to start moving you towards that vision because you've introduced the frequency of that reality to your mind. That's a parallel reality existing in your mind because that's where parallel realities exist. When you tune there with your imagination, you will start getting nuggets and steps and ways how, and they're things that you never would have been able to figure out with your logic.

Now, why is this important? You've got the freaking answers. And so, like, I have, I even have been outsourcing my power a little bit because I disconnected from my vision and I kind of went into like just going through the motions. But this past week, I've reconnected to my vision. I've, I've sat down and I've meditated, and all the ideas and the answers and the perspectives that I could ever need to get there started coming out again of my subconscious mind. And I realized once again, holy [ __ ], I am the start, the end, the solution. I'm the creator of this whole experience, this whole platform. It's mine to create. This is my world. This is my content. And I'm going to be the one who who births this vision. It's going to come from my subconscious mind when I implant my vision in there. And the key thing with that is you're going to do that for yourself. So, you don't need thousands and thousands and thousands of hours of self-help content. Yes, some of it is so powerful, and I'm so grateful for some of it. And obviously, I create some of it to help you guys and empower you guys, but honestly, my goal is to give you guys the tools to be set for life so you don't need content anymore. So you can get off YouTube and be so in love with your life and so solid with your vision and your intuition and everything that you don't need content. You don't need another person's opinion unless it's someone who's like a mentor to you, in which case, yes, that's very valuable and can help you anchor to your vision. But other than that, like, you can't keep outsourcing and relying and pedestaling, pedestaling other people constantly.

And I'm at this phase now, this week, where nobody is on the pedestal anymore because I didn't realize I was subconsciously comparing myself and putting myself down compared to other creators until I really started actually looking objectively at a broad range of content. And I realized, okay, I'm actually doing extremely well. I'm doing better than I ever could have imagined five years ago. And I'm going to stop nitpicking myself and comparing myself and trying to live up to X, Y, and Z. And I'm just going to really focus on how I'm already valuable and I'm already good enough and I've already got all the ideas. And that is the energy of winning. That's how you start winning.

So, you can't stay in an identity of healing while also trying to correspond with the reality of winning. They don't correspond. If you're in an identity of fixing yourself, of thinking that you're broken, then that's what you're going to see externally reflected to you in your circumstances, in your business, in your finances, in your career, in your relationships, in everything. But if you switch your identity, if you stop, if you decide, "I'm no longer healing. I'm good enough. I've got it all. I've got all the goods. I know who I am. I'm gonna tune into myself. My subconscious mind, connecting my subconscious mind to my vision is going to give me all the answers I ever need. I don't need to keep outsourcing my power to other people or putting other people on a pedestal. Me, my intuition, my vision is on a pedestal." The moment you decide that, that's when you're going to start winning. That's when you enter a winner's frequency. Okay? Not when you stay fixing and healing constantly.

So, it is important to do healing work. It is important to do inner work. It is important to rewire your beliefs. But you've got to exit that phase. It's so important that you exit that phase and that you integrate and that you go about and live your life as if you've already got it, as if you've already won. That's how you start winning. So this waiting energy, this waiting to be perfect, waiting to be healed, it's going to keep you trapped if you don't stay mindful of it.

This is something I realized when I went on my algorithm on my, on my YouTube this morning. I went to listen to like my, um, my flow state music when I was working, and all I could tell, my consciousness shifted because I had all these videos on my for you page of like different podcasters and mindset things, and I just thought, "I don't need any of this. I'm at a place right now where I'm so locked in with myself and my vision, and I'm tunnel-visioned with my intuition and everything. I don't need any of this." And that's where I want you guys to get as well. So, it starts with becoming aware of the fact that you have everything. You have all the answers you need. You only need the tools to tune into yourself to get those answers. Okay? And there's a video coming in in the next couple of weeks on like a step-by-step process to do that. I've already recorded it. It'll be posted maybe next week, I think. But like, don't stay trapped in the healing trap. That's all I'm going to say, okay? I don't want to repeat myself. Don't stay trapped in the healing trap because that's insecurity, and that is you not believing in yourself. And you've got to start [ __ ] believing in yourself because you've literally got all you need. Especially when it comes to your desire. Like, that's your desire. Of course, you've got what you need. It's yours. You're the one who's going to bring it to life. Okay?

So, Polly and so Susie and Joe and all these other people, they don't know how to bring it to life. You don't need to keep outsourcing your power to them. One of my clients actually this week, she put it so perfectly. I love you, Laura, if you're watching this. You're amazing. We're always like quantumly entangled, me and Laura. It's so funny. But she put it so perfectly. She's in this integration phase as well, and I'm so happy for her. And she's at a point where we have a couple of coaching sessions left. But we're, she's like, taking a break even from coaching, which is my goal for literally all my clients. If we can get to a point where you don't need me, I have done my job. That makes me so happy because she's now just living life and integrating and enjoying and being present. And she's no longer in the self-help energy. She's in the living in her new identity and her new embodiment energy. And she said to me on our last session, I just had like a little check-in session with her. She said, "I am not waiting anymore to be perfect so that I can have fun and enjoy my life. I'm not doing that anymore." And I was literally like clapping. I stood up and I clapped. No, I didn't. But internally, I stood up and I clapped, and I was like, "You are so right." And it's so key that everyone gets to that point because I know people who could stay consuming self-help content for their whole lives and like, they've already got the answers. They just haven't integrated them and applied them. They haven't believed that they can just take those steps and then let everything go.

Okay. Another way this came up this week, I was in the studio and I recorded a video, and I felt myself kind of questioning myself and holding back. And I walked out after recording that, and I just thought, "I'm just so done with questioning myself. I'm so done with not registering how powerful I am and how much inner work that I've done." And the reason that I'm sharing this is not to glow and not to brag, but it's to shine that same light on you. If you're doing this as well, if you've done a lot of identity work, a lot of belief rewiring, a lot of healing, and you've actually changed a lot, sometimes it takes a while for you to actually register that you have changed, that you're not the old version of you. And so I've been really pushing myself to get outside my comfort zone and do so many things for a long time. And I realized that this voice that was still like niggling at me, that was still a little bit insecure, a little bit doubting, was not even me anymore. It was me from five years ago. And I just looked at that voice and I said, "Seriously, are you can, can you just look for a second at everything that we've done over the last few years, over the last few months, and you're seriously still going to be insecure?" Really? And then I said, "Look, this is where we're going. You can't come over here, okay? This vision, this level, we need to have 100% confidence in ourselves. We need 100% to back ourselves in our vision if we want this big vision to come to life. And nobody else is going to believe to that level in you and your vision. So, you've got to stop waiting for the external world to give you that answer and give you that validation because that's what that insecure part of me wanted. And I just looked at her and I said, "Look, you're not 21 anymore. You're not insecure anymore. You're not in toxic relationships anymore. You're not in a career you hate anymore. Like, I've got this. I've got this. I've done everything I need to do. I'm standing in my lane. I've done enough to show myself that I can let this go. Okay? So, thank you for being with me. Thank you for looking out for me, but you can pack your bags and you can go because you can't come with me to this next level. Okay?" So, that's my little sit-down that I had with that part of me. And I just had this full, like, energetic feeling of, yeah, I'm done with that. I'm done with that.

And it goes hand-in-hand as well with me. I speak about this a lot on this podcast, but realizing that my authenticity is my value. And I'm no longer available for questioning that. And you shouldn't be either because that's all you need is to be yourself, to be authentic, and to love that wholeheartedly without questioning it to the point that you're able to trust yourself and trust your vision and enjoy your company and your, your dreams and everything that you're doing. That's all you need in this life. Because when you're in that energy, you're magnetic, you're clear, you're confident, and the things that are meant for you will come to you like a magnet. You don't need to chase or force.

So then this was reflected again. I was sent like a little test after realizing this internal stuff was going on. I was sent a bit of a perspective shift in the form of my coaching calls. So, I was do, I've been doing so many consultations these last few weeks, and I've literally been back to back doing consultations, and I feel like I've been kind of holding back or not really fully standing in my most authoritative leadership energy in my consultation calls. Kind of feels weird talking about this on YouTube, but I just want to share everything with you guys so you can like extrapolate this to your own life. So, I was, I h, I want to help you guys, right? I obviously that's my purpose. That's why I'm freaking here. And I was in a habit of getting on coaching calls. And if you've had a coaching call, I mean a consultation call, if you've had a consultation call with me this week, you'll know what I'm talking about. I would get on a consultation call, and with some of you guys, I talk for an hour because if I can see that I can help you, I just end up like helping you, right? And I crashed out earlier this week because I had been just basically coaching for free on consultation calls, like four or five a day for days on end, and I worked during the weekend, and it was just like, it was just so much. And I realized I'm not treating my energy as valuable by doing that. And the people who are investing in coaching and who are signing up, they're not getting the full whack of my energy because I'm letting it leak out into these consultations.

So, as difficult as it is for me to hold things back a little bit on a, on a consultation call, I realized big picture that this was actually robbing more people of a deeper transformation the more that I did this. And it was also robbing the person on the call of the opportunity to invest in themselves because in terms of, when you, when you're in a sales call, for example, you leave the leader frame, and when you problem-solve on a call, someone thinks in the moment that they're relieved and their problems are solved, but then the person goes away from that call and they don't have the tools that they would get in coaching. Uh, but they're not incentivized to actually sign up for coaching because they feel like they've been fixed in the moment. So, the way I was doing it was all backwards, and it was just out of this like need to help, and also probably this need to feel valued or feel like I was perceived as valued, right? And I realized I wasn't giving my energy the respect and the boundaries that it needed, and I wasn't treating it as the rarity that it is. And it is rare. It's a precious resource that I actually need to conserve now and pour into, you know, the things that I need to pour into, like, in a priority list, in a structured way, because otherwise I get burnt out, and then I can't birth the things that I need to birth to help more of you guys in a deeper way, which is the goal of my vision. Right?

So, this is another layer to you developing self-belief. You've got to screen the ways in your life that you're acting like you don't believe in yourself, that you're acting like, you know, anyone can have access to you, that you're acting like your energy isn't precious. Because when you behave like that, you feel like that. Apply this to any area of your life. Whether it's a friend that you're settling and and dropping your standards for and allowing to have access to your energy, or relationship, or whatever, you will automatically gain self-belief when you raise your standards and you don't let them drop no matter the circumstance because you're communicating to yourself that you're worth more. And automatically you feel like you're worth more. And then automatically you're able to create more because you value your energy. You value your own creations. You value your own ideas. So, you see how it goes in a circle.

I was realizing all of this in the span of a few days. And then I noticed another layer to this, which was remaining in an energy, ever so slightly, a subtle energy of chasing and of waiting. And I noticed this if I had a call with someone and they left on a note of maybe, or "I need to think about it," or "I need to check X, Y, and Z." I noticed I would have this like attachment to waiting to hear back from someone a little bit. And it wasn't a desperation, but I would be in an energy of waiting, wondering, and that is not the energy of having. Okay?

So, I've been getting so just laser-focused and clear with myself and strict about like, "No, I'm not staying in this energy of waiting. That's not the winning energy that I need to be in to be in my next level." So, I'm not doing it. So, I had a few calls where in a row where everyone was like, "I need to do this, I need to do that. I need to think about it," right? And I remember I was going for a nap after doing all these calls because I was just so, so tired. Again, I was coaching on these calls, like I was just exhausted. And I remember I laid down to go for the nap, and I could feel this like gripping to the outcome and gripping and wondering, "Is it going to work out? Is it going to, are they going to sign up? Are they going to, are we going to have a good client?" You know, whatever. And I clocked that I was doing that, and I said to myself, "Katie, you just need to [ __ ] relax. That's all you need to do because you now are not insecure. You now believe in yourself. You now fully see your value. You fully see the value of what you provide. You know how precious your energy is. You know how precious the thing that you do do is. You know it works. You know it changes people's lives. You know the value you provide is worth millions, okay, to the people who are able to receive it and apply it to their lives because they will literally generate millions. They will generate healthy relationships, things that are priceless if they come on board and they do the work that you share with them." And I just thought, well, what? Of course, I'm relaxed. I don't need to chase something because I know who I am. I know what I'm doing is good, and I'm not chasing anymore. And so I let myself, before the nap, I closed my eyes and I said to myself, "When I go to sleep now and I wake up, I'm entering the dimension where everything is working out for me, where I know exactly who I am. I know exactly what I offer. I don't chase anything, and everything that's meant for me can then chase me because I'm strong in my belief and I'm strong in my perception of my value. So, I don't need to chase." And I let myself do that. And I woke up, and I had literally some clients come back to me who I didn't think were going to come back to me, honestly, beforehand. And I had forgotten about them. Completely forgotten. I was just focused on creating my things, doing my things, whatever. And I think as well, part of this was again, that realization of like, I'm not who I was before. So, it was a little bit of a scarcity mindset and an old identity of chasing clients that I used to have from ages ago, when the reality is right now, I don't actually need to chase clients. Maybe back in the day I did because I needed money, but really, I don't need to do that now. So, again, it was about telling myself like, the past is not the present. You are not that old version of you. You don't need to worry. You don't need to stress. You don't need to rush. You just need to be your most authentic, most empowered self and let go and let God. And so that was a big energy shift as well that tied into me really standing stronger in this self-belief. And I challenge you to do the same.

Whatever you're feeling like you're chasing, it is going to run from you. You only chase something because it's running from you. So, take a mental note right now of what you're chasing and decide to sit the hell down and let it chase you. Let it go completely. Focus on all the ways that you're already good enough. All the ways that you're already worthy for the thing that you're chasing, and then some, and then let it go. You can do the trick that I did, which I actually think is really powerful. I might add this into my community or somewhere as a, as a practice. Take a nap or go to sleep. And when you go to sleep, say, "I'm, when I open my eyes, I'm going to be in the dimension where this is already resolved, where this thing is chasing me, where this is all my, my, my debts are paid, my fees are settled, everything. It's all done. It's all sorted. My value is reflected, and life is good." And close your eyes and decide that that's the dimension you're going to enter. The reason that that works is because you're shifting your energy to be resonant with that dimension. And like the energy work, I mean, I talk about it all the time in my videos, but your energy is what matters more than anything. It's what matters more than anything. You can have anything in this life if you just embody the energy that resonates with that thing.

My mic keeps dying, so I need to wrap this up, and I'm going to leave you on a pep talk because it's just wanted to come out and come through. If you have a big dream and you're just settling, you're not going to get there. You need to stop [ __ ] settling and set some standards. And most of all, get okay with being misunderstood, being criticized, being perceived, being rejected, and all of these things that you're so afraid of, because those fears are keeping you average. They're keeping you small. They're keeping you trapped in a box. And in that box, you're never going to get your dream.

So, this, I don't give a [ __ ] anymore. I don't give a [ __ ] anymore. And you have to stop giving so many folks because all these folks that you're giving away are depriving you of your vision, of your clarity, and of your ability to become somebody who is exceptional. Being exceptional means being different to everybody else. And being different to everybody else can be something that makes you insecure, or it can be your superpower, depending on how you look at it. If you just start owning it and leaning into it, then it can be something that literally sets you apart from everybody else in the best possible way. And I think sometimes we think people that have the sports cars, the career, the business, whatever, we think when we look at them, "Oh, that must be hard," or "Oh, they must have had that handed to them," or "Oh, this, that, and the third." Well, no. All that happened is they got okay with unapologetically chasing their dreams. They got okay with digging their heels in and stepping outside their comfort zone and being different and being disliked and being unique and following their own vision. And that's all it takes. But only a few from a group will actually be brave enough to step through the fear outside the comfort zone. And what happens when you do that? When you step through the fear outside the comfort zone, the fear disappears. So, fear when you're sitting on the bench is at level a thousand. But when you get off the bench and get in the game, the fear disappears, and that's when you can start winning.

So, you can either stay on the bench in the energy of waiting, waiting for permission, waiting to be liked, waiting to be understood, waiting to be told you're good enough, waiting to be told you can go for it. You, you can stay there, which is where you're going to stay not winning anything, and you're going to feel a massive amount of fear. Or you can pick yourself up, throw yourself into the thing that you think is so scary or so far outside your comfort zone, whatever it is. If you're going to feel like you might be rejected or misunderstood, or you just feel crazy, as soon as you get off the bench and into the game and you start just doing it, first of all, you are finally allowing yourself the opportunity to win because now you're in the game. And second of all, the fear disappears.

Okay, so that's what I'm going to leave you with. You don't need to be understood. You don't need to keep seeking validation. You don't need to keep being liked by everyone. You don't need to keep settling in your life and falling below the standards that you know you need to have for yourself because we do not rise to our highest expectations and our highest ideals. We fall to our minimum standards always by default. So, raise your freaking standards. Start having some belief in yourself. Realize there's people who have all the success, all the dreams that you want, who don't even care about it as much as you do, who don't have the talent, the value, the skills that you have. They just have higher standards and they stuck to them. They just had the audacity to have a little bit of self-belief and to drop this old lie of insecurity that they learned from school or from, from childhood or whatever. They realized that that wasn't serving them anymore. They left it in the past. They raised their standard and they moved forward. That's why they're there and you're not. So, this, don't let this be the missing ingredient because this is within your control. And until you make this decision, you're going to stay stuck on the bench in your life. And you're not going to be able, especially if you've got a grand vision for your life, you will not be able to birth that unless you're willing to go all-in and be uncomfortable and just start having some audacity and some faith in yourself.

Okay, that's all for this week, guys. I'm done screaming at you. I love you all so much. You've got everything you need. Stop consuming content. Go and meditate. Go write down your vision. Write down what you need to do to become the version of you who achieves it. And focus on that. You've got the answers. I love you all so much. I will see you next week.