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But daddy is a state of mind. You know what I'm saying? >> I'm your daddy. [Music] >> I don't know if I'm going to actually post this because this is super vulnerable for me and I'm a pretty open person. But earlier this year, I told my husband I wanted a divorce. And this would probably shock a lot of my friends and my family because I hadn't told anybody. Okay. Um, I walked myself through the logistics of where would I live, how would we split the time with the kids, who gets the dog, where all of those things. Okay. Had a full breakdown. I feel like I have been searching for something in my relationship that we don't have for the whole time we've been married, which has been 10 years. I there is not a single thing about my husband in and of himself that I do not love. Let me be very clear about that. He is the most self-disciplined, loyal, hardworking, good person that you could meet on this planet. And that is probably the reason that is the reason why I have not left. Okay. Our relationship and what my expectations are for my marriage and what they always happen are not met right, which I don't know if anybody's are. The reason that pushed me to even bring up divorce and talk about it was the fact that I feel like I don't I can't be myself with my husband and it's really confusing because I'm 32 years I am a mom of three and I still don't know who I am. So for me to be like, "Oh, I can't be myself or you don't love me for who I am." isn't really fair because I don't know who I am. I'm figuring that out every day. Um, but the reason why I wanted to share this on here in the first place is we are coming up on our 10 year anniversary. We're going to Mexico to Cabo for our 10 year anniversary trip and we're rewriting our vows. We never wrote vows in the first place. We didn't have vows when we got married. And I'm struggling to write my vows, like to write a vow. And I think that's because I still feel very unsure in our relationship.
>> God damn it. You can't make this [ __ ] up. >> Brothers. This is a woman who married the beta provider, the kind of man who checks all the boxes, but who she's not truly attracted to. She chose him for what he could offer her because her future was secure. When you hear phrases like, "I don't feel like myself in this relationship," or, "I don't feel love," what she's really saying is that the man doesn't excite her in bed. And that's the hardest part. You marry the woman you love, believing she feels the same, but she only signed that paper to secure her future. Then one day, without warning, she destroys everything. The reason? She's bored. That's simple. There was no cheating, no abuse, no lack of love from your side. Just the emotional emptiness of a woman who doesn't know what she wants and decides to break something that was working because it doesn't give her butterflies. This happens to a lot of marriages these days. Women who have everything but fill their heads with ideas that there's no more spark, that their husband doesn't satisfy them anymore. There's a reason people say a man sacrifices his health for his family. A woman sacrifices her family for her happiness. Keep that in mind before signing that contract. But anyway, let's keep going. The one thing that we finally talked about this this past week together because it's just been something that since we kind of talked about it and I brought it up and we committed to change and we committed to working on our relationship. I started my own business, he quit his job, roles have changed, life has been crazy and we just haven't come back to talking about the subject. And I brought it up again because I'm like I'm going to be honest with you like writing these vows is hard. I don't feel like we're any closer. I don't feel like anything has really changed since I brought this up 6 months ago, 9 months ago, whatever. And like I want to work on a relationship. Like at the end of the day, of course, I could get a divorce and try to go find the love that I'm craving with somebody else, but that's going to come with its own hardships, its own complications, and ones that I'm not right now I'm not willing to take on. Right. Um, I love Ryan. He is the best father. Okay. I just need to learn how to explain what I need from him in our relationship and he needs to be able to give that. And I need to be doing the same for him so that we can both like in 10 years from now, in the next 10 years, look back and say like we put in the work and we finally have the marriage and the relationship that we have always wanted. And that is what I want. Um, I guess the reason why I'm coming on here and if you've made it this long, that's really nice. Um, what have you done in your relationship to get to that point? If you have been in a place where we are and have worked through it and have found things that have brought you closer or that have given you that relationship, like I I'm just I guess asking for advice like what have you done in order to get there and what has worked for you? We're we're honestly willing to try anything. We have done therapy and counseling before. Um, and it was fine, honestly. Uh, it wasn't like my favorite thing, but I'm willing to try that again. And I don't know, books, podcast, like what what have you guys done that has worked for you to get your marriage to where you want it to be? Um, I I just don't like thinking, okay, we've been married for 10 years and I' we've kind of like been at this same point the whole time. I just don't want to look back 10 years from now and not have tried my best to have this like relationship that we both want and that we deserve and that our kids deserve to see in us. So, I'm kind of being vulnerable and posting this on here, but I would just like to know like what has worked for you and and what advice I guess you would have for me. Thanks.
>> No. God, no. God, please. No, no, no. >> Now I get what's going on here, brothers. Hypergamy doesn't forgive. I've always said it. When a woman stops admiring her man, she also stops loving him. This man is unemployed. She started a business and now she's the one supporting the household. The roles have completely flipped. She's no longer the wife supported by her provider husband. Now she's the one supporting him. And of course, she's tired. Tired of solving everything, of carrying the financial burden. And with that, she disconnects from the man. Then comes the inevitable. The intimacy dies. She no longer wants to sleep with him. Not because he changed, but because she lost that quiet respect that comes from admiration. My father said it plainly. When a man is sitting at home doing nothing, he starts to stink to a woman. Everything bothers her. Everything feels heavy and she starts looking for a way out. But when he supported her for over a decade, there were no complaints. And then they talk about for better or worse, right? That's why she doesn't want to write her vows because deep down she wants out of that relationship. Brothers, a man's life is tough.
>> I told my husband I wanted a divorce. And this would probably shock a lot of my friends and my family because I hadn't told anybody. I have been searching for something in my relationship that we don't have for the whole time we've been married, which has been 10 years. I there is not a single thing about my husband in and of himself that I do not love. Let me be very clear about that. He is the most self-disciplined, loyal, hardworking, good person that you could meet on this planet. This is exactly why so many men don't want to get married. Because they could be the most loyal, hardworking, honest, good man, but then they end up divorced. That is scary because if he's literally doing nothing wrong, then what can he fix? But here this man is, he's already doing everything. What's even worse is that this has been going on in her head for 10 years. He probably had no clue. And then she'll give him 6 months to somehow fix it after it's been going on for more than 10 years. It's so unfair. And this is what men mean when they say that it came out of nowhere, that they were blindsided. She blindsided him. She can't say that, well, she told him 6 months ago that it was a problem and it needed to be fixed and then they end up in divorce and then she claimed that she didn't blindside him. You did blindside him.
>> The blow isn't just the surprise, brothers. It's that by the time she tells you, you're already out of the game. Because here's the truth. Women grieve the relationship while they're still in it while you're still thinking everything is fine. You're just finding out and she's had everything planned for a while. She expects you to fix in 3 months what she's been carrying inside for the last 5 years. This woman says they went to therapy that they tried, but the guy lost his job, the economy got rough, and she started carrying the whole load with her business. And what happened? The man she once admired no longer inspires her. Because even if they don't say it out loud, a woman's respect dies when a man stops providing. He can be the most faithful, the most honest, the most devoted, but if you stop leading financially, your days are numbered. It's things like this that make so many men today not want to get married. You can be the best husband for 10 years, loyal, hardworking, a provider, but the moment you slip in your role as a man, she's already looking for the door.
>> Women, >> I spoke up and made that video not because I wanted to bash my husband or air my dirty laundry, but to say like, "Hey, something's missing. I want to fix it. I want to keep my family together. I want to have a good happy marriage that we're both satisfied with. And like what what have you found that's worked for you that could help me do that? And like women responded with love. Most of the men responded with anger. And so I just feel like that's pretty telling. So if the men want to comment and say rude things, you're just further validating what the other women that are coming on the post are saying, which is, "Hey, I feel similar or I feel the same about, you know, my relationship, but I don't feel like I can talk about it because of the way you're acting." And again, this is nothing like to say that's how my husband treats me or acts, but to say like you can't sit get on my in my comments and say this is why marriages aren't working these days is because women are honest and open about their feelings. Um, but maybe take a look at the comments and say, "Oh, maybe it's because when women open up and want to be vulnerable and share, like express their feelings or whatever, like they get attacked and say you should just be happy with what you have or he should be the one that leaves you or like you're asking for a fairy tale. Those things don't exist or whatever." Like, that's not fair. That's not fair. And women should feel like they can open up and express how they feel without being met with that judgment, with being met with compassion and trying to understand their feelings, which is what my husband is doing, which is like, you know, so I'm not saying this about my husband. I'm saying this about the thousands and thousands of disgusting men in my comments that are just further validating women in general who feel judged or want to leave their marriages because that's the way their husbands are acting. So maybe if your first instinct is to attack is to attack a woman for sharing her pain or her feelings, maybe ask yourself like what does that say about you, not about her?
>> Oh, hell no. >> You know why there's so much anger? Because a lot of men today are shocked to realize that being a good man is no longer enough. It's not enough to be the perfect father, the faithful husband, the unconditional provider. You can do everything right and still not be enough. And then you face the brutal truth. A woman doesn't leave when you're bad. She leaves when she's bored. This woman doesn't need love. She needs dopamine. That's why so many end up hooked on narcissists. The emotional roller coaster makes them feel alive. The guy who treats them like queens one day and ignores them the next. That's the one who pulls them in. You who are always there, who do everything right, you just don't spark that flame. That's why I keep saying it, men. Even when you're married, never stop building yourself. Be a little unreachable, a little selfish. Hit the gym, hang out with your boys, keep your own space. A woman loves a man who shines with or without her. Because if she feels she's got you completely locked in, she stops desiring you. Remember this. She wants the man every woman wants, but who chooses to be only with her. Stay that way or she'll lose respect for you. And
>> I don't know if I'm going to actually post this, but earlier this year, I told my husband I want a divorce. So, this woman is currently going viral for this video she made where she said that she asked her husband for a divorce, but hasn't gone through with it yet because, in her words, he is perfect. It's just that there's something missing. She goes on to ask TikTok if anyone else has ever felt that way in their marriages, and if so, how they went on to fix it. But people were having a hard time giving advice because it didn't make sense. So, he's perfect, but also not good enough. Like, here were some comments that I found particularly noteworthy. Your story is my story. Then 20 years later, turns out I was just bored and immature. Worst mistake of my life, divorcing a good man. When I filed for divorce, the last word I would use to describe him would be perfect. Girl, if you have a good man, stay with him. A lot of people started speculating that maybe she had already been unfaithful, that she was the problem. And people even found her husband to warn him what she was posting about him, to which she made a video saying that he knows and doesn't care. And ladies, I just need to woman explain something about men real quick. If a man says that he doesn't care, he either genuinely doesn't care or he knows that the inevitable fallout from expressing any opposing belief is not going to be worth the battle. So, he just pretends he doesn't care. In this case, though, I'm going to guess it's the latter because you've literally described him as a perfect husband and yet to you, he's still not good enough. It's like he's damned if he does, damned if he doesn't. Or maybe I'm wrong and he genuinely does not mind his marital issues being made into a public spectacle for complete strangers to judge and interfere with. Maybe. What do you guys think? Do you think he genuinely doesn't care? Do you think she's brave and strong for posting this? Do you think this is going to help her already rocky marriage? I hope she figures it out, though, because leaving a perfect man and splitting up her family and all of her time and holidays and childhood with her children just because she wanted something more would be tragic. And yet happens all the time. But if that does happen, I hope that he uses this as evidence in court to secure 50/50 custody. Cuz what we're not going to do is take this man's kids away from him just so that you can try to recreate your single party girl lifestyle in your 30s. Nope, not today. But honestly, if you already have three kids with a guy and you still can't figure out why you don't like him, might be you might be the problem.
>> To the no. Hell no. >> There are three reasons why a woman gets bored in a relationship, and this man is already checking the third one. First, when the man gives her too much comfort. If you're the type who always says yes, treats her like a queen, never challenges her, and brings no sense of excitement, she'll see you as a s, and that bores her. Second, when she's not attracted to you in bed or there are so many problems at home that she loses all desire for intimacy. Sometimes she doesn't even want you physically, but often that rejection stems from the third reason. Third, when the man loses his job, financial problems begin. And if there's one thing that kills a woman's desire, it's seeing her man unemployed. Most men who lose their jobs end up abandoned by their partners. Women don't like providing or carrying the financial weight of the household. That's why 55% of marriages end over money issues. And this man, let's not forget, lost his job. From that moment, we already know what's coming. Emotional disconnection, physical rejection, and finally divorce. Everything falls apart. Women.
>> I keep trying to record this video and I keep going way off topic, so I'm going to stick right to the point of what I want to say. Um, this video got posted about a week and a half ago. It was me just getting on expressing my feelings and and there's been a lot of people who have taken it and kind of turned it into something else. And that's my own fault for not explaining things better or being super clear about things. And I don't owe that to anyone to really go back and try to defend myself on everything that I said. The point of the video was me asking for advice on how to become closer with my husband. There have been amazing people have given that advice and I've taken it and we are going with it. And I will continue to share the advice that we've got and what we do. But I want to talk about yesterday. I had a really good day. We went to church. We spent time with family. I was just feeling so at like peace with everything and feeling good. And then um as I got into bed um I was going through my phone and just like kind of prepping for today and I had a couple notifications from people sending me videos that more people have stitched. Just feeling really bad about like being misunderstood and feeling really sad that so many people are taking it um the wrong way. I guess um you can think that what I said was wrong or how I felt was wrong, but I know how I felt. And the only thing that gave me peace at that moment was remembering and feeling God's love and knowing that he's the only one at the end of the day who knows my heart and my intentions inside and out and and at the end of the day, he's the only one who gets to judge me. So, you know, yes, all of these things that are going around like may still hurt my feelings, but at the end of the day, they don't matter. And the only people that really matter to me are God, um, my husband, my family, and my friends. And, you know, at the top of that is obviously just God and my husband. So, me and Ryan are good. Like, we are in a good place. We are communicating more. We have taken and gotten lots of advice and are starting to put it into practice. Like we are good and me and God are good. So you know all of this stuff going around on the internet is a lot to to handle as like for anyone. I think only person who really can know you inside it and out is God. And at the end of the day, he's the only person that can judge you. And so that's all that matters. and all of these other voices on the internet, they don't matter at the end of the day. They have no real effect on my life. So, people can say the nastiest things in the comments, but my worth is not rooted in that. My worth is rooted in God's love and his perception of me, and he knows my heart inside and out, and that is all that matters. So, if you're going through something hard that you may be getting a lot of judgment for, um, just remember that like you know your intentions, you know your heart, and God knows it. And at the end of the day, he's the only one that can judge you.
>> Hey, bro. What? >> Oh my god. >> She's already started apologizing. Now she's pulling out the God knows my heart and I was misunderstood lines. But she only did that after men called her out with the truth. Still, this story, more than a lesson for them, is a brutal reminder for us. Being a good man is no longer enough. If you want to keep attraction alive, you have to hold on to your masculine polarity. Be a little selfish, protect your time and your space. A woman rarely leaves the man who respects himself, puts himself first, sets clear boundaries, and knows his worth. She's more likely to leave when all you offer is comfort than when you're the man with backbone, the one who keeps her grounded. That's why you must always remember it's the emotional roller coaster. They love living on that ride. Your best investment will always be in yourself.
>> Listen, if I get around you and you make me feel like I could turn my mind off, like I'm fully protected, baby, what you want? What you need? How can I make you happy? Yeah, that's so underrated. When you could just get around a man, you feel so protected that you could just go to sleep and turn your mind off. Come on. If you bring the little girl up out of me, I'm goofy and I'm silly. I just want to play around you. I just want to be cute. Only thing I'm worried about is bringing my lip gloss and my phone out the house. Yeah. Come on. Let's go ahead and get married. Let's go ahead and get married. I'll give you all five of the kids that you want. All of them. All of them. I'll give you my one. Go ahead.
>> Stop it. Get some help. >> The daddy energy these women talk about is when they've got a provider man, the one who brings financial stability, makes them feel secure, and carries a traditional mindset. And let me tell you, there's nothing wrong with that. In fact, it aligns with feminine energy. It's natural for many women to be attracted to it. Many men, believe me, have no problem being providers. But the question is, where is the wife energy? The dilemma arises when that feminine energy kicks in only to receive, not to reciprocate. A man who shoulders everything also expects his partner to stand by him with gratitude, service, and affection, not just demands. It's reciprocal. That's why I always say for a woman to receive queen treatment, she must first qualify herself with the king. Drizzle, drizzle.
>> Out on a date with a 49-year-old man and 3 days later he called me to let me know. He doesn't want anything serious, but would I be open to something casual? If I if I wanted an F buddy, why on earth would I pick a 49-year-old man? No one wants you for casual, honey. If I wanted a casual little fuddy, I'd get like a 28-year-old. It's insulting to even ask. I wanted you for that career, that long career. Aren't you going to retire soon? I want you for your senior citizen discount. The absolute audacity of these old men. And he is almost 50. On the date, he tells me that he's meeting with a spiritual adviser to help him figure out what he wants out of life. I'm looking at him thinking, "You have 10 good years left. What do you mean?" He's trying to figure out whether or not he wants to get married and have kids. It reminds me of that viral noise. Do you know you have 30 minutes? 30 minutes? Absolutely wild that a almost 50-year-old man needs help figuring out what he wants out of life. And at this point, just commit to the bit. Just be single. Be a bachelor forever. You've you've taken it this far. Jesus, he's 15 years older than me. Is he getting women my age that are like, "Yeah, this will be my f buddy." Do women have mental problems? Isn't the point of an FB buddy like getting like some young hot thing, not some old guy who probably needs to take pills? She blames him, but she doesn't look at herself. That man said what he said because he sensed your urge to trap someone, to tie him down, to get that ring. He saw your hunger for a beta provider who could offer long-term financial stability, but he doesn't want to be your lifeline. Why couldn't you just be boyfriend and girlfriend? Why couldn't you simply have a casual relationship and see where it went? Like you yourself said, he's almost got one foot in the grave. He's 15 years older than you, yet you were the one desperate for a ring. That man just wants to enjoy his remaining years, live in peace, and spend his money on himself, not on keeping you. That senior citizen discount you were after, it slipped away. In my opinion, he dodged a bullet.
>> What's your age? >> 19. >> 29. >> I like them young. >> How does a 10-year age gap relationship work? >> A perfect age gap for a relationship. >> Why? >> Well, see, when they're 19, you can train them. You can train them. You know, they're very young, so you know, you can influence them and train them to be the the the perfect woman for you. >> Do you feel like that's true? >> Yes. >> Do you feel like your boyfriend is misogynistic? >> No. >> Why not? >> I don't know. I I mean, I'm fine with our relationship. It has worked for us. Um, like guys my age are not like mature enough. >> And would guys your age be able to provide the same things that he provide for you right now? >> Of course. Of course not. Why go 19 as opposed to 29 or 35? >> She's a young sweetheart, you know. What can I say? >> Sweetheart. >> So, what's the latest you want to have kids? >> 5 years. Um, from now, like >> Yes. >> Yeah. You know, bi biology gives women up up to about the age of 27. So, I say we got we got about 8 years in it, you know. So, >> I'm going to be honest, the relationship itself isn't the problem. What is a problem is the way he expresses himself. Because a woman looking for stability will naturally prefer an older man. If you pay attention, most healthy relationships have an age gap. Now, saying he's going to mold her or that at 19 they can be trained, even if there's some biological truth to it, comes off as misogynistic. That said, she's not a victim. She agrees with it. She feels good about it. And she acknowledges that men her age don't offer her the same. That's maturity. But if she's happy, if he treats her well, as she herself says, and they're in a relationship with potential to build a family, then I don't see a problem. Worse would be reaching 30, single, childless, and lost in life, like the woman in the next video.
>> I want to talk about the weird experience of being in your 30s, child-free, and also single. Now, don't get me wrong, like, there's so many things I love about it. I love being able to do whatever I want whenever I want to do it. I love that I can form friendships in a lot of different pockets, do a lot of different hobbies, yada yada. There's so many pros out there to my lifestyle. I'm not complaining about that. I just want to touch on this this weird factor of it. Relationships are changing now. Like on one hand, I have a lot of friends who are in like their late 20s, maybe kind of just on that cusp, and they're still doing their life. They're still, you know, you know, progressing in different ways. And then I have and then I have a lot of friends who are in their mid-30s or married or have kids. And this is where it gets kind of tricky. I love these friends so much. I want to spend time with them. I want to see them. But it feels like every single time I try to initiate something with them, it's like, "Oh, well, we got the kids or we got so and so's birthday with other couples." You don't want to do that. Just a bunch of married couples or bunch of like other families. It would just be weird if you were there. It would just be weird. And that's missing the point that like I want to still have friendships with these people because they matter to me. Like they're wonderful people. It'd be super fun, but I feel this weird burden to kind of go out of my way to try and spend time with them when they're not really reciprocating that. And I can't begin to tell you how many times I've been like, "Hey, I will drive to your house just so that we can load up your car and run errands with you and your kids and I can just spend what is it 30 minutes to an hour just talking with you, spending time with you." It doesn't have to be the most genuine like we're going out and spending $30 here doing like a a designated event together. I just want to spend time with you. It can be a very low maintenance thing, but I just feel like it's all the responses I get are, "Oh, sure." or or that'd be just so weird. But I do love you and I do miss you. And so that's just like this weird hard place that I am in now that I'm in my 30s and I'm especially since I'm single too. There's just this added element of I'm kind of a free floater agent. to kind of just do what I want here and I like hang out and a lot of my friends who are married and have kids or just married are just very set within their dynamics and it's kind of a shame and that's one of the cons of being at this stage in your life. Uh still wouldn't change all the great blessings of being single um not having kids right now. It's just it's just a weird time. Let me tell you what's going on. You're not an unattractive woman. I'm sure you've even told your friends that you want a husband and kids. And here's something most people won't say out loud. The majority of women within the same circle tend to like the same kind of men. Your friends are fine hanging out with you as long as their husbands aren't around. Why? Because they see you as a threat. As we all know, a woman's worst enemy is often another woman. If they've got good men by their side, they won't want you too close. That's why you're not invited to family activities. And there's also a natural factor. Once you have kids, your priorities shift. You start hanging out with other parents, planning around children, and family life. That goes both ways. Even married men tend to leave the single friend out of certain dynamics. Plus, no man wants to see his wife going on girls nights out or spending too much time with her single friend because that just brings drama. It's harsh, but it's the reality of the wall. Because the wall doesn't forgive.
>> Women. >> What's your age? >> 19. >> 29. I like them young. >> How does a 10-year age gap relationship work? >> Perfect age gap for a relationship. >> Why? We'll see. When they're 19, you can train. >> We'll see. When they're 19, you can train them. Right, babe? Right. Right. Right. That's what he looked like. He punched her when they got in the car. Should have [ __ ] giggled. I made a joke. I remember when I went to First Coast my 10th grade year trying to talk to 10th grade girls and they were dating guys who had already graduated or guys who were just like full-blown grown adult. And everybody, don't get me wrong, those guys are predators. I'm not going to call this guy a predator cuz he's 29 and he's dating a 19-year-old. But probably like a year and a half ago that would have been illegal. But he's not a predator. It's legal. That in my opinion, that's just way too young. What do y'all even talk about? Anyway, I vividly remember being like 15, 16, seeing girls date grown men. And what I'm about to say is going to be really controversial, but those girls know exactly what they're doing. They are not victims. Like, they might be getting manipulated in a really crazy way, but victims, I don't want to hear it because every 29-year-old or older that I know can spoil a 19-year-old. Like, what are we talking about? Oh, you want a cell phone, baby? You want to be on my cell phone plan? Okay. Oh, no. It just added a $90 charge to my phone bill every month. You want that Pandora bracelet, sweetie? Okay, I'm going to get it. She really be walking around just the the college campus flexing. And the craziest part about all this is that that guy, if he has a good relationship with his mom, would probably be embarrassed to bring that girl home. And that girl, if she has a good relationship with her dad, would probably be embarrassed to bring that man home.
>> You know what? This is the kind of thinking that only victimizes women. There are girls who from their teenage years into their 20s have had more relationship experience than a lot of men in their 30s. But they always get painted as manipulated little girls. They're not little girls when they open that blue app. They're not little girls when they have a sugar daddy old enough to be their father. They're not little girls when they benefit from the relationship. But if they date a guy who's just 10 years older, suddenly it's she's just a girl. If she were 29 and he 39, no one would say a word. Even if she were 25 and he 40, still nothing. The outrage only shows up when the older man isn't ashamed of being with a younger woman. And she's not ashamed either. Look up the age our grandparents or even our parents got married. And you'll see many were already married before turning 20. This girl can get married, have kids young, study, build a career, and create a life if that's what she wants. In my view, it's worse to hit 30 bitter alone watching all your friends in relationships while you're floating around with no direction like the woman in the previous video who said she felt disconnected. But anyway,
>> I've got a question for you. Uh, what's the oldest guy you've ever dated? >> 39. >> Wait, and you're 25. >> How old are you? How old were you when you dated him? >> Recently. >> Hm. >> Recently. So like 24 25. >> I was 25. >> So you're 25 dating basically a 40-year-old. >> Listen, if it comes to it, always go with an older man. I usually do, but that hasn't been really working out for me. So I set my hinge to like my age, which is 31, by the way. I've got something to say about this. So I went on a date with this guy who's my age, and um Oh, it was painful. Oh, he was just asking me the most boring questions. He was like, "Oh, so what's your type? Surely everyone's type is funny, confident, family orientated." Oh, we're not in Love Island. Do you know what I mean? Anyway, in the end, I think we were both just trying to wind each other up. And he was like, "Oh, I actually prefer blondes." Well, I'd actually prefer your dad. Where is he? Is he Is he free tonight? A man left a nasty comment on one of my videos saying, "You could be 20 or 40." Now, that's a nasty comment wrapped in a nice comment. Nothing wrong with being 40, but I'm not. Like, you know what you're doing. Do you know what I mean? Like, it's never the girlies leaving nasty comments either. It's always the men, especially on my videos. That was cringey. Like, and then you look at their pictures and it's always a specific breed of man. Do you know what I mean? We just saw two women who prefer older men because of the stability they offer. I'll be honest, most men hit their prime between the ages of 28 and 45. Often after 35, they start looking for stability, some even earlier, but by that age, almost all of them want it more. By then, many have already progressed in their careers, enjoy a solid financial foundation, and have defined their social circle and where they want to live. They're ready to start a family. That's why women in their 20s who date them feel like they found a good one. These men are already set up for family life, which is why you hear so many women openly say they prefer an older stable partner. So, if you're between 35 and 50, you might be in your prime. Make the most of it. [Music]
>> You would like to be >> You are having a giraffe, aren't you? >> I'm baby. I'm not ruining your moment. I can assure you I'm saving you from the rest of your life. He can't He can't support his bloody self. Neither might support you. >> I don't think you're in any position to tell me who I should be with. Do you? >> You need some money to survive. This one is never going to achieve the thing that we need. >> You're a non achiever, mate. >> I'm not asking you to marry. >> No. So you want the sacri he makes me happy. It doesn't matter. You have no idea. At the end of the day, you've got to be able to support this woman. You are not going to last a week if you can't support her. Yeah. What's she going to do? Support you. >> We've been together for 4 years. >> Yeah. And you four years you've not achieved anything, mate. >> What have you achieved? >> I've achieved everything in my life. >> Everything. Yeah. I've got a beautiful daughter. I'm not wasting. Does mom have a point? >> There's no wrong with love. Do let you in.
>> Hey, bro. What? >> Oh my god. >> My father used to tell my sisters when they were young, when you choose a man, choose one with a future ahead of him. He didn't ask that he be rich, but that it be clear he was on the path to becoming someone in life. And today, all my sisters and cousins are married to very good men. What am I trying to say with this? that being a suitor is not the same as being a father. As a suitor, you might feel hurt if you're rejected. But as a father, you don't want a typical aimless Chad anywhere near your daughter. That mother sees what her daughter doesn't yet see. That being in love doesn't pay the bills, and a man without ambition doesn't build a home. For years without achieving anything is enough reason to be concerned. It's not hate, it's prevention. As my father used to say, love brings us together, but hunger tears us apart. The idea of living with someone can't hold up without financial stability. As a father, if the guy coming for your daughter has been unemployed and directionless for years, that's a red flag because if he gets her pregnant, who's going to take care of her? How are they going to support that household if neither of them works? Now, I want to hear your opinion.
>> 25. >> Are you single? >> Yes. >> You break up with your ex. He wanted me to have a degree and I don't believe that that defines your success. >> So, what was the most toxic thing about your past relationship? >> Um, our arguing. We argue about everything. >> How would you argue with >> him going out? Um, me going out, just me not going to school, like everything. My Instagram pictures, he got kind of mad about that, but that's another story. >> Cuz he's way out of his sleep. >> Yeah. >> No, I love him. Anyways, um so I posted on my Instagram me with like rolled up jeans, which is like a trend. Like that's fine. It's not a thing. But he got really mad that my jeans were rolled up and he said that only he should see that. So >> was it all the way up to like your waist or >> my jeans were unbuttoned but they were rolled down. You get what I'm saying? Like the jeans were too big for my waist. So like I rolled them down once and he got mad >> because I'm skinny. >> Why do you feel like that was appropriate to pull? >> Cuz I saw other girls doing it. I guess it was like a trend. No, I feel okay. If I feel comfortable doing it, then I feel like it's fine. It's insecurities. >> Okay. >> No. God, no. God, please. No. No. No. No. >> I don't know who that man is, but he won because the one who ends up with her loses. This is the female version of a classic Chad with no future. The only thing she's got going for her is that she's pretty. What did that man do wrong to be labeled insecure? Did he tell you to go to college, to study? Did he tell you not to show yourself on Instagram like you belong to the streets? Not to sell yourself as single, not to present yourself provocatively to other men? Brothers, if the frog belongs to the streets, no matter how much you kiss her, she won't turn into a princess. Women.
>> If I wanted to date you, how much money would I have to make? >> I have to run by the car. >> You don't have to make anything. >> I don't expect any materialistic stuff. I'm not a materialistic person. >> Surely you're not going to date a man without a job. >> I mean, yeah, it'd be nice for you to have a job, but I'm not going to expect you to pay for everything 100% and just throw money out for me. >> Like, it should be 50/50. Okay, so we're dating. >> What would I need to pay for in our relationship? >> Simple dinner. Nothing like crazy expensive. >> What about like your makeup? >> No, I got that. >> Jewelry. >> If you want to give it as a gift, but I don't expect anything like that. >> So, why don't you believe in my money is our money and your money is yours? >> Independence. >> What? >> Got to be independent with some stuff. >> Yeah, some stuff. It's nice for a guy to contribute to, but not everything. You got to have your own independence, care for yourself as well. >> This woman is absolutely right. She seems to have good values. Let's be realistic. Every man who's been with a woman knows he'll have to spend money at some point, whether it's on going out to eat or if he lives with her, he'll spend money even if she also works. That's not a bad thing if she's your woman. That's what every masculine man does. Now, what's not okay is a woman who brings nothing to the table. She doesn't help you grow. She doesn't do acts of service for you. She doesn't contribute financially either. Well, that woman doesn't deserve you. She doesn't deserve to be treated like a queen by you. But if she treats you well, respects you, takes care of you, and accepts your leadership, then you've got something good, and you need to act like it.
>> Welcome back to How to Make a Man Obsessed with You, part two. Today I'm telling you how to train your boyfriend like a dog to treat you like a princess. Duh, cuz that's what we deserve. It's actually so simple. It's called operant conditioning. And you probably already used it without knowing, but it's how you train a dog. It's genuinely how you train a dog. It's a psychological theory by BF Skinner. BF Skinner, boyfriend Skinner. He's literally the drama king of behaviorism, but he says people repeat behaviors when they get rewarded and avoid behaviors when they get punished. Duh, just like a dog. So we can literally shape your man's behavior. Hiding his obsession, but being intentional about when we reward him and when we pull away. This is not toxic. This is psychology. Okay, you didn't hear this from me. You heard this from BF Skinner, who was dead. So, don't blame anyone. Okay, here's my four-step obsession formula. One, reinforce the behavior you want. Sounds simple. We often times reinforce bad behavior on accident. Let's one, focus on reinforcing the behavior we want. Did he plan a real date? Yes. Let's give him a big
hug and show deep appreciation. You need to give him that extra reward. He needs to be like, "Oh my god, I did something good. So now I'm getting rewarded." Give him a big hug. Be like, "I love you, babe. Thank you so much for planning this amazing date."
Another example, did he open up emotionally? Is he finally putting his ego to the side and letting you in? You give him a big kiss and we say, "Thank you for sharing, babe. That made me feel a lot closer to you." This literally conditions his brain. When I treat her well, I get pleasure. Boom. Boy math. When I treat her well, I get pleasure. The key is only reward him when he does something you want more of, not the bare minimum. It's so easy when a man gets you one singular rose to be like, "Thank you so much, [ __ ] Where's the bouquet?" In simple terms, if you reward him for getting you a single flower, you're never going to get the bouquet.
Next, very simple. Again, we often times forget, ignore bad behavior. We're not punishing him when he does something bad. We are ignoring him when he does something bad. And that's totally different.
>> Cocaine is a hell of a drug. It makes me laugh that nowadays women don't even deny how much they enjoy manipulating men. They keep learning all kinds of tricks to get a man to do what they want without realizing that a man who knows where he's going and how he deserves to be treated doesn't fall for that kind of manipulation. Women love this idea of rewarding behavior and that's why they end up exhausting men. For example, the ones who use intimacy as punishment. If you behave, you get intimacy with me. If you don't do what I want, then it's a dead bedroom. That game ends up wearing a man down because you realize you're no longer doing things out of love. You're just doing things to get something from her. That's a recipe for failure.
>> Let's say he forgets about your anniversary. You like text him non-stop and you're like, "What the hell is wrong with you? Why would you forget about your anniversary?" Ah, this is going to push him away and be like, "Oh god, what is going on right now?" Like, this is going to push him away and it's not going to make him fix what he did wrong. What is going to make him fix what he did wrong and not do it again is by linking distance to losing you. So when he does something wrong, you have to pull away. Don't yell at him, just pull away and be quiet. Silence is louder than anything you can yell at that man. We aren't punishing him. We are being quiet. So if he ghosts you for 2 days, that's bad behavior. A reward. You distance yourself. He gives a lazy effort, no reward. Let him feel the discomfort of our distance. We are training his nervous system to associate neglect with losing us so he'll never neglect us again. Our distance and absence is so loud. That is critical. Ignore bad behavior.
Intermittent reinforcement triggers obsession. What is this? Okay. Intermittent reinforcement is not always using the same reply, the same loveydovey text. Sometimes it's sexy, sometimes it's lovey. Keep it surprising. Okay. That's why people love slot machines cuz they never know when they're going to win. They never know when they're going to hit. Make yourself a slot machine. Let him wonder, "Did I make her happy today?" "Did I make her happy today?" Sometimes when he gives you a bouquet of roses, you smile so big and you give him 1 million kisses and then you say, "Let's go get dinner, babe." Sometimes when he gives you a bouquet, you say, "Let's go to the bedroom." You know, keep it exciting. You want to keep him on his toes. He's going to be like, "If I get her this bouquet, I wonder what she's going to do." You are like a surprise Jackbox. Boom. In his face. This isn't toxic. This is exciting. Remember that. And like to not know what's coming next. Keep him guessing what your reaction is going to be when he keeps doing good things for you.
Okay. Lastly, create a reward loop he craves. Give him those dopamine spikes, those happy spikes. Unexpected compliment. Let's say you just walking. You really like your shirt. Like, I really like your shirt. You look so sexy. Boom. Unexpected, random, out of the don't do it all the time, though. If you're loveydovey all the time, the compliment's not going to mean as much. Okay. Little doses of affection. Like, if y'all are walking, hold his hand randomly, but don't be all over him all the time. And then I don't know, crack some jokes on the YouTube get when you're in public to make him feel more connected to you. Happy spikes. Happy spikes. Bottom line, you guys, we aren't punishing him. We are training him. We aren't controlling him. We are guiding him into becoming a version of himself that is most worthy of us. Boom. And guess what? We actually are helping him in the long run. And we all train our men. Then we have a better society. Cuz if they break up with us, at least they'll be better for the next woman. Okay, guys. That's kind of fun and and silly, but you literally train your man like a dog to treat you like a queen. And that's the bottom line of this video. Again, super simple. Reward good behavior nor bad behavior, intermittent reinforcement, and keep him on his toes. That's all you need to know to make your man treat you like a queen. Okay. Well, you guys really liked this, so I did another video, and I hope this one was just as insightful. All right. I love you guys.
>> Stop it. Get some help.
>> This is manipulation. The problem is it collapses under its own weight because nothing is ever done genuinely. Now to the men out there, learn by observing your woman. Become a sharp observer. One thing my father used to say is that a man should give his woman small tests. Create a fake crisis or say something as simple as, "I'm hungry." Just to see how she reacts. That's when you'll see her feminine energy toward you. If a woman's first instinct isn't to take care of you, she's not wife material. This will also help you notice how she tries to manipulate you. Because yes, all women manipulate in some way, but that's not a bad thing if you're the one benefiting from it. In the end, you have to see her with your best interests in mind. That will always make you an attractive man in their eyes. Women look at men through rose tinted glasses. Men look at women through a cracked windshield. Okay, we got to get on their level. It's not even women's fault. There's just no good men left. So, we've had to become delusionally optimistic, right? Women are so desperate to make something work that we invented ugly hot. Do you guys know about ugly hot? It's when a guy's so ugly it actually comes back around as hot. All my friends these days are like, "Ew, that guy looks like he got hit by a truck. I'm gonna have his babies." I was like, "No." Meanwhile, men are like, "Mara Robbie doesn't have facial harmony." What the [ __ ] What the [ __ ] But it is hard wearing condoms when Plan B exists, right, girls? cuz plan B is so easy. Also, I'm sorry, condoms have side effects. Nobody talks about this. Did you guys know that every time a guy wears a condom for the next 3 days, you have to [ __ ] hear about it.
>> I'd rather raise the kid. It's [ __ ] annoying.
>> Cocaine is a hell of a drug. The modern woman sees men through rosecolored glasses or green ones to calculate how much money they have. Many complain that there are no good men or that most men aren't attractive. But both ideas are distorted. First off, men don't wear makeup. Women do. These days, some girls go out so heavily covered that the most honest thing would be to invite them to a swimming pool just to see if the face they're showing is actually theirs. And if that weren't enough, now there are filters that make every woman believe she's a goddess when she's not. As for good men, the real question is, are there any good women left? Because for many, a good man is just someone who solves all her problems. Meanwhile, they all see themselves as high value women, and they can't even cook a meal for you. But let's keep going. Yeah, she got mad at me for like kissing her boyfriend because she said I leaned in first, but I'm not your boyfriend. Like, I don't owe you anything. You know what they say, don't let your best friend keep you from finding your husband. Like, that's all I was doing. So, this girl posted an Instagram photo the other day and her makeup looked [ __ ] awful. And so, I was trying to be a girl's girl like I am and said, "Hey girl, you kind of look like a prostitute." and she got so buttth hurt about it. Even made a video about it, hating on me.
>> Oh my gosh, that's what you get for being a girl nowadays. Okay, so I was hanging out with Callie and her boyfriend the other day and they went to Taco Bell and you know I eat clean food. Like I don't eat that crappy stuff. But I felt bad because I don't want to single like them out. So of course like I got some Taco Bell and I got home and I clogged the toilet because I'm not used to eating crap. And I went and told her boyfriend like, "Hey, Callie clogged the toilet because like I thought he'd be more understanding if he thought it was her." And he literally ended up kicking her out. I mean, and she was mad, but it was fine because we just Netflix and chilled like the rest of the night. Speaking of Callie, I was with her and some of the boys yesterday. Her extensions were showing, so I was like, "Calie, your extensions are showing. Super girls up me. Super nice." And then she got all [ __ ] with me and I was like, "Is this the med? Is this because the medicine you're on for your yeast infection?"
>> And then she started crying and left like, "Girl, what the heck?
>> Ask me to help you out."
>> Yeah.
>> I really think it's just because like unless you're like a girl's girl like us. Like you just can't hang out with us nowadays. Like females are so overly sensitive nowadays.
>> Exactly.
>> Like we're trying to help a female out.
>> No. God, no. God, please, no. No, no, no. Even if this might seem fake or exaggerated, the truth is that women like this do exist. If you look up confessions on Reddit, you'll see that bullying among women is sometimes worse than among men. A man might hit you once, but a woman goes further. She breaks your spirit, plays with your mind, and does it all while pretending to be your friend. It's no coincidence that there's a saying, "A woman's worst enemy is another woman." That's why, you see, they don't really trust each other, not even among friends. And even less when there's a husband involved. Every married man has noticed it at some point.
>> I got catfished. And this is why hot girls don't belong on dating apps. Summer 2021. I just got out of the worst relationship ever. I don't even call it a relationship. I gave you guys a bit of an insight in my last story time. I was tired of beefing because someone spent £8 on me. Okay, I'll be so real. I hated his guts. I tried to leave so many times, but he really wanted to hold me hostage in any way possible. It wasn't I'm not eating, it's I'm not sleeping. Anyways, when I finally got out, I was like, "Yes, sweetheart." Like, I wanted nothing more than to just meet someone that I actually like. So, what does my naive jolly jingle bell ass go and do? Download a dating app. Looking back, knowing what I know now, thinking I was going to find anything real on a dating app was diabolic. That's like saying, "I'm starving, then going opening somebody's bum to go and find food." What will you get? Three courses of [ __ ] I'm on the app now and I'm just scrolling. I'm just like, "Don't get me in. Is this real life?" My type did not exist on that app. As a matter of fact, I was bewildered at what was coming through. So, I decided, you know what? I'm done. I just need to delete this thing. It's actually not for me. Now, just as I was about to delete it, I get a light from someone that looks like my type. He was cute, tall, chocolate, handsome. So, the voices in my head said, "Oh my word. We'll have a look." Now, I must say, nothing about this guy's profile was giving catfish. He had lots of pictures in different places. And to be honest, that wouldn't even come to my mind. Like, who's doing that? I watch catfish TV all the time. I thought it was scripted. Then anyway, we start texting, getting to know each other as normal. And one of the first things that he said to me is that we should plan a FaceTime sometime. So, that was even less of an alarm because if you're a catfish, would you initiate a FaceTime call? Don't think so. Later on, he asked me if I'm free for a call, but he calls a normal call, not FaceTime. I don't think anything of this really cuz I'm not really a FaceTime. I don't FaceTime strangers. I'm not going to lie to you. It's like baby steps. I don't know you to be facetiming you. So, when he called, explain to me why Mr. Bean answered the phone. Hello. You're all right. How are you? Hi.
>> What am I supposed to do? I'm sorry. That voice did not match the pictures. How many tall sexy chocolate men do you know sound like Mr. Now, I didn't want to be rude or make it obvious that his voice repelled me that much. So, I carried on the conversation. I was very polite, very people pleasing back then. I was far too nice. Today, I would have hung up that phone. What's my business talking to Mr. Bean? After that phone call, I knew there was no way in hell I was speaking to this guy again. No way. I could not shake that voice. I told my girls, "We've had good convos. He ticks a lot of boxes. We get on well. I'm attracted to him, but I just don't like his voice." And they were already on my ass cuz they think I'm too picky anyway. And I just come out of a crap relationship. And they want me to give people a chance. So, they were like, "Tom, are you being serious? It's just because of his voice. That's not a reason to sack someone off. He could treat you right. Just give it a try. Blah blah blah. All of this good stuff.
>> Oh, hell no.
>> These are the things that frustrate men on dating apps. While men are out here liking almost everyone just trying to get a chance, many women act like they're shopping, looking for the exact product that meets their demands. The stats are clear. Women only match with the top 20% of men. The other 80% are left with whatever comes their way, if anything does. And that 20% doesn't even represent all the decent men out there. Because a lot of women are chasing the infamous apocalypse 666, 6 ft tall, six-f figureure income, and a six-pack, the 666 from hell, brothers. That's a minority, even within the top 20%. So, it's no surprise that some guys end up catfishing or using fake model photos, something I would never do because I find it degrading as a man. But anyway, let's keep going. And when they put it like that, I was obviously thinking, "Oh, do you know what? Maybe they're right. Maybe I'm being too picky and too shallow. So, let me just see." And I agreed to go on a date with Mr. Bean. Yay. As we continued to talk, conversation just got weirder and weirder and weirder. In a nutshell, he was not talking like a hot boy that is used to talking to women. So, in other words, he was not acting like he's been here before. He'd be saying things to me like, "I just love the fact that I'm talking to a girl that's so beautiful, sexy, pretty. I'm talking to such a pen girl who's so beautiful, so sexy. I keep looking at your pictures. They're just so beautiful, so sexy." He also told me that he lives in an apartment in central London. I was like, "Okay, let me get a video tour." And then he proceeds to send me pictures of his said apartment from the real estate website. As in, he screenshotted an apartment on a real estate website and sent it to me and said, "Here you go." And he was like, "Yeah, this is my apartment." I was thinking, is he trying to like show off the price or you know sometimes guys like to try and be flashy? Maybe it was that. I still wasn't thinking this was like a catfish situation. It actually also sent me random videos of him before and I'm not going to lie, the backgrounds weren't actually matching up. I was thinking, excuse me, all this furniture, where's this furniture coming from? I didn't see this green couch in the video that he sent me the other day. His background was looking very much like Nigeria. Nigeria during a NEPA power cut. There was no light. A couple of days or a day before the date, he was asking me where I want to go and what I want to do. Where should we meet? And come to think of it, he was probably asking me because he doesn't live in London, so he doesn't know anywhere. He's asking me this from the other. I had absolutely no intention on meeting this guy. My period was going to miraculously start 3 weeks early and give me intense pain. That meant I couldn't leave my house. There was no longer any part of me that cared about being shallow. I am not attracted to you, Mr. Bean. End of. On the morning of the day of the date, he messages me to tell me that he's getting ready. He's going to start making his way soon. Before I could even respond and make any kind of excuse, I have been blocked. He deleted his profile and has removed his entire existence from the internet. He was never to be seen or heard of again, so I knew yes, I have been catfished. There are a few takeaways from this story time. A, please be shallow. It will save you from nonsense. And if you see someone tall, hot, and sexy on a dating app, it's probably this guy behind the screen. Hi, pretty baby. This video reminds me of how this video reminds me of how beautiful you really look on Bay Station and And you know how to get naked. Ding dong. Where? Hey. Oh yeah, baby. Oh yeah.
>> I hope you like this video. Pretty. This is for you. This is for you, baby. Ding dong.
That guy didn't fail because he wasn't attractive. He failed because he had no self-respect. Catfishing is an act of desperation that strips you of your manhood. It's a silent confession that you don't believe you have any value of your own. A lot of men get labeled as weird and not always because of their interests, but because of how they dress, how they express themselves, or their lack of experience talking to women. Some have never even approached one. But reaching the point of catfishing, using fake photos, lying about where you live, sending pictures of an apartment you found on a real estate site as if it were yours, that's just degrading. Why would you do something like that to yourself? That kills your spirit. You're better off spending a year at the gym, working on your skills to make more money, learning how to dress better, magazines, videos, trial and error, and changing your haircut until you find the right one. I guarantee your chances will go way up. But tell me, what do you think?
>> Hi, I just wanted to come on here and inform the public that I will no longer be using dating apps. They are not for me. I can't do it. I think I'm just too anxious to go meet people in person and like take it seriously. I always just feel like I'm going on an interview and I can't take the person seriously like romantically because I'm like who is this person that I created in my head but now you're actually sitting in front of me. I think the only way I'm really going to meet someone is like through a mutual friend or like have had a friendship with them already cuz I just think that makes it less awkward. And at this point, I'm using dating apps as like social media which is just so wrong. Like I'm just scrolling through when I'm bored. And yeah, like that's just mean because I would make a video talking about somebody else doing that and saying that they're horrible and then I'm doing it. So I'm out. I'm done.
This kind of makes me laugh because she talks like she has a million fans and suitors following her love life, but what she said does have some truth to it. There are women who use dating apps not to find a partner, but just to reject men and boost their ego. They upload sexy photos and get hundreds of likes from simps instantly. And the most ironic part is that it doesn't even matter what they actually look like. There will always be hundreds or even thousands of guys validating them. That's why even the companies behind these apps try to push male profiles more because they're the ones not getting any success. On top of that, most of the people paying for subscriptions are men. And since these companies don't want men canceling the app, they'll never actually show you your ideal match. Because if you find love, why would you keep using the app? Makes sense, doesn't it? We've reached the end of the video, but before we go, the questions are for you. What do you think about dating apps? Have you ever had a bad experience with a girl on a dating app? If you enjoyed the video, make sure to give it a thumbs up, subscribe to the channel, and hit the notification bell. Your support means the world to us and motivates us to create more content. Stay tuned for the next exciting video from the wall. [Music]