Should You Change Your Accent to Get Ahead?

Do you know what? Um, do you know what I got asked this week?

Go on. What did you say?

I got, I mean, I dare to think given your life, but go on. [laughter] I got asked by a client if they should take elocution lessons, change their accent.

Why? What is their accent now?

Brummie. Oh, and of course I said no, but they were very adamant that they were missing opportunities because of their accent. And I find it absolutely fascinating. And it's funny because it's not the first time somebody has said it to me. Now, a lot of the time people will say, especially if they're not from the UK, that they feel that their foreign accent is a hindrance and they start apologizing for it. And they start, you know, like they start conversations with "Sorry for my accent" or "Sorry that my English isn't good enough," and they, they speak fluent English. I always, whenever someone starts like that, I'm, we are speaking English because I cannot speak what your language is.

It means that you speak more than one.

That's.

If you ever saw, do you ever watch, um?

I know who you're going to talk about. Modern Family's Sofia.

Modern Family, yeah.

She's in one of the episodes, she says, "I'm very intelligent in my own language."

And I think, this is the whole thing, just fascinated me simply because we do, especially in this country.

Mhm.

Have huge biases to the way people speak.

Massive ones. Massive.

But the judgment goes two ways.

So, for example, there is this, this whole thing of, you know, that the Scottish have the sexiest accent in the UK, apparently. Apparently. So. [sighs]

I mean, the Scottish accent is, is marvelous. I actually prefer the Northern Irish accent, I have to tell you.

Oh, yes. Yes. Yes.

Um, but I love a Scouse accent and I love a Jordy accent.

I love those accents. Oh, the Scouse and the Jordy accent. I just listen for hours. Hours.

They're brilliant. There used to be, and it's still on YouTube, there used to be a TV show that followed the EasyJet people around.

Oh, I remember it. Oh, because there was that lovely lady whose name, I forget, but she measures her shoes. She weighs her shoes.

There was, but there was a couple of. So, they also did Liverpool Airport, John Lennon Airport.

I mean, those are fiery ladies in Liverpool.

You wouldn't mess about, would you?

They ask for your passport. It's, you have it open and ready. The thing is though, what's really interesting, especially in the luxury industry, is that it's all about, it's all about appearance. So, if you have a brand, for example, in Birmingham.

Right.

So, let's say one of the luxury brands are in the Bullring in Birmingham.

And it's, it's staffed with Brummies who all have Brummy accents. Everything is fine. Nothing wrong with it. It's normal. You move all of those Brummy staff to London, and they're immediately being judged.

Yes.

Because you, you have this idea in your head that a brand should sound a particular way.

Yeah. Yeah.

Which is ridiculous. And we're so judgmental. I do remember, I recall a study, or that was then discussed on the BBC, saying that the Brummy accent is associated with unintelligence.

Right.

And so is the West Country accent, which is of course absolutely ludicrous. You know, so, and I've seen this, you know, I've seen this in boardrooms, for example, where somebody with a regional accent will stand up and give a presentation and talk about something, and the information is perfect. There's nothing wrong with the information, and it's been delivered absolutely fine.

And then you'll have somebody stand up with an RP accent, talk absolute unadulterated rubbish, and be taken more seriously because did you know the RP accent apparently is taken much more seriously than any other accent within the UK and abroad?

Well, that's, there's very good reason for that. We've all been conditioned to accept it as the one. [laughter] Because of how it originated.

To a degree, but also, I mean, yes, in this country, but the thing is, less than 1% of the population speak, speaks with an RP accent. The thing is though, that abroad, it's easier to understand, which is why it was, um, which was why it was created in the first place.

Right. What I, what I had, what I, what I think surprised me most is that they wanted to change their accent. And I think when you change your accent, you change your identity. And.

They were very adamant about it.

Well, then there's something about other people being the judges of your worth in that, then.

I think you're relying on other people to tell you whether or not you are valuable. From a practical point of view, I understand if you're standing up in front of hundreds of people or investors or shareholders, you, you want to be taken seriously.

Right.

But are you taken seriously? Yes, it's very important that you speak with clarity, and people are able to understand you, and diction is good, and all the rest of it.

But I think we are the only country in the world where the moment you open your mouth.

Mhm.

People start to classify you and stereotype you.

Oh, I don't know. What about like, New Jersey accent?

And.

But I don't think it's the same way.

Californian, the Californian.

They're going to say, "Oh, yeah. Well, you're a Californian." Here, when you open your mouth, we start classifying you into what kind of background you come from, what kind of school you went to, where you, where you may be from. And we also make judgments. So, for example, every time I open my mouth, people automatically assume that I'm going to be obnoxious and arrogant and standoffish and cold and all this sort of stuff.

Which, of course, could be nothing further from the truth. That I'm actually spectacularly nice and fabulous and warm and fuzzy and very empathetic to people. [clears throat]

You're not supposed to laugh at that.

No, it was, I was going with it until you said warm and [laughter] fuzzy and then I was like, hang on. Like, there's so far we can push the, you know, realms of reality.

Reality.

Fuzzy. Yeah.

But should people change their accent to get ahead?

Do you know, it's one of these funny things around, "Should they dress for the job?"

You know that idea of, "Dress for the job you want, not the one that you have."

And I'd be a firm believer in that.

Well, yes. But then here's the thing about it is, I'm a firm believer in that, but not to the point where you're betraying who you are right now, too. So, we don't lose sight of our ground, you know, we don't lose sight of who, where our origin story comes from. But if you start as a janitor and work your way up to CEO, your clothing will change as you move through the, the ladder, as you go up the ladder, right?

Mhm.

Because it's appropriate to the environment. It's a really difficult thing to reconcile the idea that if I don't dress a certain way, I won't be perceived a certain way. And the truth is that that is actually true.

Because we all do that.

So, if it's true of clothing, then surely it's true of speaking.

I mean, it is true of speaking, whether we like to admit it or not. It is true of speaking. It doesn't necessarily mean that you have to get rid of a regional accent or a foreign accent. Should you take elocution lessons to maybe sound clearer or speak with more clarity or with better diction? Yes. Why not? You know, there's nothing wrong with that, because that's going to stand you in good stead.

Should you eradicate a regional accent completely? No, because it comes across as then fake, because it's going to drop.

Oh.

If you get animated or upset or annoyed or emotional, or any of these myriad of things, your, your true accent is going to come out. Oh, I had a friend who, um, dated a woman who had had elocution lessons, and, um, when she would get drunk, the Liverpudlian would come out. [laughter] And he said it was the funniest thing because she would all be very nicely well-spoken, and then all of a sudden the accent would come out raging when she'd had a few drinks, or when she was animated, as you say.

So, it's a, um, very difficult one, isn't it, really? Because I think there's the, in the ideal utopian world, accents wouldn't mean anything.

They might tell you where somebody is from, but they don't dictate your knowledge or your intelligence or your understanding.

No, they don't. But yet, we use heuristics to do it. [clears throat] We do make these heuristic shortcuts to.

I do think it's got better.

No, it hasn't. No, it hasn't. My business partner. No, my business partner always, and it really pisses her off, because, you know, she will say, let's say we're flying somewhere, or, you know, we're doing something, and she asks for something, and they will say, "Oh, no, I'm sorry, that's not available." And then she'll come back and she'll say to me, "No, it's not available." And I'll say, "Well, why not?" You say, "Because they said it's not available." I won't, no, that's not acceptable. So I will ring the bell, and they will come over, and I will say, "I'd like X, Y, Z," and they get it. And it pisses her off no end.

But is that accent, or is that your, your non-negotiable?

It's probably a combination of both. But.

Cuz I have been around you when something has been [laughter] unavailable [laughter] and there's no room for negotiation in those scenarios from their part.

Listen, you can't deny that if you speak with an RP accent, people are more likely to take you as a voice of authority than if.

100% absolutely true. So we benefit from it whether we like it or not.

But should we flip it? And I know people will get really cross about this because.

I will get really cross about it. But still, but let's flip side it. As you said, there's this assumption that.

We're going to be a certain way, you know, that we're going to be Tory, and that we're going to be cold and arrogant and pigheaded and entitled and superior. And no, these things just aren't true.

And.

No, they're not.

But I also think accent has has a way to make you more trustworthy in different situations. So, for example.

If I was, you know, buying something in the East End, and even London cabbies, you know, if, if they don't speak with a true Cockney accent, I don't trust them. I don't trust you that. Yes. If my cabbie turned around and spoke to me in RP, I'd be like, "Oh my God, I'm about to be murdered."

Seriously?

Yeah. Unless you have a Cockney, there's, there's certain things that I won't, I won't trust unless you have the right accent. So, for example, in the, in the stock exchange, right? All of the stockbrokers who worked the money, they don't do it anymore, but they used to. If they weren't strong ethics or Cockney.

I'm not giving you my money. I don't trust you. [laughter]

I would be the absolute other way around. That is so funny. My thing as well though, a northern accent, a northern accent will make me feel safer, warmth.

Right.

Cared for.

It feels more genuine and more nurturing and more trustworthy. No.

Which is totally not true because half of them up there would fleece you. Especially Yorkshire people, they fleece you as fast as they look at you.

Not if they have any kind of connection to you.

Yes. But if they don't have any kind of connection to you, it's, you're being lulled into a false sense of security.

Well, luckily I've got some lovely connections. [laughter] So, I'm very, I'm very well, um, covered, I think, in that regard. But then you have the, the no-nonsense Yorkshire people who, you know, if you, if you're in hospital and your doctor or your nurse is from north of London. [clears throat]

You feel okay, good. I'm in good hands.

Yes. Cuz they've worked to get where they are, and so they've got it easily, so they're not entitled, and so therefore they know the value of their job, and they, they really care.

One of my favorite things is the Jamaican nurses. Oh, I love these people because they're so no-nonsense.

Look how sweeping we're being.

Horribly racist, really. [laughter]

But it's not horribly racist. It's, it's heuristic stereotyping. We think because we see a Nigerian nurse, a Filipino nurse, a Jamaican nurse, that they're automatically, based on their accent and based on stereotyping, that they're automatically going to be more pleasant, more nurturing, nicer, but also more no-nonsense. Like, you, you don't mess with a Jamaican or a Nigerian nurse. You just.

No way. But you also know you're in really good hands, and they will fight for you if they, they'll get a knife if they need to. Like, if you're in labor, you want one of those people, women, as your midwife or or around because you know full well that if a doctor walks in and goes, "Well, I think we should do XY. I'm going to," and you say, "I'm not sure." They will fight to the death to stop whatever it is. And because they are. Yeah. Or at least that's the heuristic, I suppose. But yeah. So, if you are in luxury, for example, and so these people own their own business, and they were, they were saying that they genuinely felt that they were losing clients because of it. I told them that it was nonsense. They weren't losing clients over it at all. Cuz I think an awful lot of it is internal.

We've also.

We've also got this idea that we must sound a certain way or speak a certain way or have a certain accent, and that if I have a foreign accent or I don't have the right kind of British accent, then people are going to judge me. I mean, people are going to judge you either way. It makes no difference.

Well, exactly. What is.

What is the right accent? And should you try and get lessons to change it? And I think my take on that is no.

No. Because you, like you said, you lose the authenticity. You lose the warmth of you if you're constantly focused on pronouncing your words in a different way than is natural. You're not actually connecting to the person in front of you.

No.

And therefore you lose it because there's an invisible wall between you immediately. That you lose the sale or the connection. And then actually, let's go back to that idea of the English as a second language. There is nothing, well, there are some things, but there are few things sexier than a French man or an Italian man.

Speaking English.

But that's also a stereotype that they all play into. Every single bloody one.

Goddamn. We all do though. We all.

Irish men do the same thing.

Oh, of course they do. Why would they.

Play into it? So do Scotsmen play into it.

Oh, I, I'm on all these dating apps and yes, they do all the time. They leave these voice memo things so that you can hear their accent. [laughter]

Like they're from this magical aisle that you've never heard before.

But you know, the foreign accents is actually really interesting because, believe it or not, the origin heuristic may come into play there. Now, the origin heuristic, basic, or the origin bias.

Is basically the further something gets away from its point of origin, the more desirable it becomes.

Of course, because it's exotic, sometimes.

So, you know, French perfume in France is just perfume.

Right. [laughter]

Champagne in Champagne is just champagne.

Oud in the Middle East is just oud. But the further it gets away from its place of origin, so oud here in the UK is exotic and expensive and fabulous and wonderful. Whereas in the UAE, it's in every supermarket. You know, oud scents and perfumes and stuff like that. And it's the same with the British accent. Regardless, the further away from the UK you go, the more exotic we become, and people go, "Oh my God, I love your accent."

Oh my God.

I got that so often in Seattle. Good lord.

Whereas here, you come home and people are like, "Nobody speaks like that."

"Stop speaking like that." You get that all the time. Nobody speaks. [laughter] Like that. It's like, hello. He, he does. I can guarantee you it's not Piss on. [laughter]

It's not a thing. You know, if you went into Chanel or Gucci or Versace, or any of the luxury brands, and you had somebody speaking with a French or, um, Spanish or Italian accent.

You trust them more because you believe that they're more.

Fashionable or understand luxury more, or whatever. Um, which is interesting. So when I have these people, these clients with foreign accents, I'm like, "No, if anything, it gives you much more credibility." I, I, I have one who is, um, who makes my skincare, actually. And she makes fabulous skincare. Wonderful. Um, Peter's Naturals, if you, if you want to look it up, want to look her up. Um, she's Greek.

Greek. [clears throat]

And yeah, she sends me, um, olive oil that her father makes from olives in his garden. Like it's.

Bloody gorgeous.

Well, I could go down a rabbit hole around olive oil, but carry on.

And, um, but she has said to me a couple of times, "Oh, you know, when I insist that she makes videos, and you're like, "Oh, no, it's my accent." And all, and I'm like, "Darling, you're making exotic skincare. If anything, your accent is an advantage."

A huge one.

For this mysterious woman. [laughter]

Exactly. And not only that, like she's a biologist. She's a doctor. Like she's, like she's like highly qualified.

Oh my God.

With, with skin and biology and all sorts of stuff.

Skin. [laughter] Technical term. Did you just reduce her doctorate to skin and biology and all these sorts of.

How dare you? How no wonder she doesn't feel like people take her seriously. You've just reduced her to an entire career like.

You know what I mean? She's, you know, anyway. [laughter] The thing, but the thing is, she makes, she makes fabulous stuff.

And she makes it for your skin. But again, I can't push her to go on camera enough because she has this idea in, she's probably going to watch this. I know she's on the list. This idea that, yes, hello, Ivanthea.

Correct. Correct him on your doctorate. [laughter] [gasps]

But again, it's this, this mental block that, oh, you know, people don't take me seriously because of my accent. And I think it's nonsense. I think the opposite is actually true.

Well, I also think that's projection. I don't take myself seriously because of my accent. I feel like I'm not communicating properly because of my, it being my second language, which is a valid fear, right? Probably her third, if she's.

Greek. Separate, right?

So, you know, well, you speak lots of languages, and so how.

When you're speaking in.

Oh, highly self-conscious. Highly self-conscious.

Right.

And so, what about, um, Hindi?

Not so much, but still a little bit.

A little bit. I mean, I absolutely adore the shock factor when I open my mouth and speak. Greatest thing when you do it. People's, people's jaw.

Hit the floor.

I almost want to learn it just for that impact. Or or Chinese, or Mandarin, you know, just I want to learn.

One of the, one of the languages that people don't expect you to speak.

But again, the thing, the thing is, when you go to other countries, so if I speak German in Germany, nobody has ever said to me, "Your German accent is."

No.

If anything, they've said, "Oh, wow. You speak German." And I'm like, "Yeah, but not as well as you, because obviously you're German and I'm not."

The only people really who get bent out of shape by accent is the French.

I was about to say, hang on. [laughter] Every time I go to France and attempt my very poor French, but I've got a fairly decent accent. I did grow up in German will just speak English.

Literally, don't even. Yes, madam. I'll get that for you. [laughter] Yes, madam.

Yeah. No, you know, it's true, but I think people should embrace it. I don't think you should change it.

You've just reminded me, a friend of mine who is a rugby player who is Northern. He was in the 2003 squad for that won the World Cup in Australia for England.

Oh, wow. Amazing.

Yeah. No, it was amazing. Um, but he and his family, um, all moved to France, and they, of course, all had to learn how to speak French.

Well, he speaks French fluently, and I mean absolutely fluently, but with a northern accent. It is the greatest thing you've ever heard in your.

That's the funniest [laughter] thing I've ever heard. Is that must piss off the French knowing?

Well, they don't. They love it, but they're in the southern area of France. So they're on.

Right. So they're in the friendly part of the southwest coast. But the point being [snorts] that he trots in there speaking this absolutely immaculately fluent French with this northern twang to it, and it is the greatest thing, and nobody said a word. Nobody says a word. They all just chat.

They won't. Why would they?

No. Why?

Cuz he's just talking with them.

Well, I mean, it's the, it's, if he left the south and went into other parts of France, they're quite rude over there.

But he also doesn't care. And so.

But the thing is, he speaks two languages fluently, which is more than most of us do.

Then certainly in this country, you know, exactly, because we're so arrogant, we believe everybody should speak.

English.

And then you go on holiday and you hear someone going, "Have you got like," shouting [laughter] shouting it to a Spanish person is going to make them understand you all of a sudden.

We're a disgrace.

We are.

We're a disgrace. So, when it comes to your client, I do understand that self-perception. I do understand that fear, but I actually.

I would actually start looking internally and looking at.

Why are you allowing it to impact you?

You know.

There's a warmth to the Brummy accent. If you think about, um, what's his name? Prince of Darkness, Ozzy Osbourne.

Right.

He's, he was Brummy. He's so loved. He was seen as a musical genius. I know he did some cray-cray things, but.

There is this.

But actually, he didn't.

No, I know. Fallacy. No, he didn't realize it was, um.

No.

Yeah. No.

So. [laughter]

Let's not go down.

And then he just then he just lent into it.

I mean, there and there it is. Lean into it. Stop fighting it. The more you try to hide it, the more other people are going to believe there's something wrong with it, too. So, stop showing them. But this is it. I mean, I think the more attention you draw to it.

The more people look at it because.

And the more you try and deny something, the more people focus on it.

Right.

Whereas if you just ignore it, people won't pay any bloody attention. And to be quite honest with you, if you've got a different accent from everybody else, then you're exotic. You stand out for all the right reasons, not all the wrong.

Right. Exactly.

Yeah.

So, no, you don't get elocution lessons to change your accent. By all means, do public speaking. I think everybody should do public speaking. It's such a, you know, it's such a good tool to have in your back pocket. But.

Changing an accent to fit in. No, I think that's.

As long as you can be understood, there's no need to change anything.

No, there's not. So, yeah. So, I just thought it was interesting because it, it's not the first time that it's come up, and it comes up with lots of different people who, um, who seem to think that there's, what's the word I'm looking for?

Well, I don't know. But my question then is, what are you avoiding looking at by focusing externally on everybody else's perception of you?

But that's human nature, Helen. We all do that.

Yes. But if we know what we're avoiding, then we can fix it and move on and not worry about it.

Well, that's what they want to do. They want to change their accent, which is not the right fix.

We're basically saying the same thing, I think.

Except you're going into therapy crap like you normally do. [laughter]