Transcription
Could someone define for me what identity is? Okay, what defines us. And what do we do with identity as people? What do we use it for? So that they know us, okay. What else do we use identity for? Which is very important. We use identity to decide what we are capable of, what we deserve, and what things we can do. This is very important. Because the beliefs we hold about the things we are capable of doing and the things we are entitled to or not, those beliefs are what will determine how we will move through the world, what things we will allow to be done to us, what things we will do to others, how far we will add value to the people around us, and how far we will prioritize our own priorities over the well-being of others. That is why who we are, the identity we develop, is so crucial for our future, for our mental health, for the reality of the people around us, and, by extension, for the world. The sources of our definition, of the definition of our identity, are external or internal. External are: "I am 24 years old, I am from I don't know where, I come from this country, I like to do this, I like to do that, ..." because they are the ones I build in comparison to what surrounds me. If my parents, since I was little, have told me that I sing very well, even if I sing "so-so," singing very well will become part of my identity. Or conversely, if my parents have told me since I was little: "child, be quiet, you sing terribly," and I sing very well, singing badly will become part of my identity. And what will that mean? That in the future, standing in front of a microphone to lead a praise, or to sing, or to sing with my friends, or to go to a karaoke will be difficult for me because the belief I adopted from my parents as part of my identity, that I sing badly, will prevent me from sharing that gift with the people around me. Yes? Did you see the impact? Okay, now let's see, let's see what the external ones are: What do the world measure us by? By the money we have, right? If I'm richer, then I'll be happier and I'll be more successful. That's what they tell us. By how much fun I have, right? What parties, where I go... What do others think of me? If I'm a popular person, if I'm not popular, if I have friends, if they laugh at me... Yes? All these things are what the world tells you you have to have to have an identity worthy of success and happiness. And what happens to us when our identity is only built with bricks from the outside? Exactly, it says absolutely nothing about who we are. What happens when we don't know who we are? You look for answers outside. I, for example, I grew up in a Buddhist family. My parents... Look, my father did astrological charts, he was a yoga teacher, my mother was a Reiki master, I mean, the most New Age you can imagine. So I, for example, I grew up believing in reincarnation, in spirits, in all these kinds of things. And for me, since I didn't know who I was and I also had no certainty of what my life would be like in the future, I based my decision-making on things like Tarot cards. To the point where I put all my free will, all my decision-making capacity, all my own judgment in the hands of spirits who told me things through women to condition my life. Look at the point to which not having a clear identity can take us. Things I have learned about identity in this very scarce and short period from my total lack of wisdom and discernment and little biblical knowledge. I asked God before coming to please not let me say any theological nonsense, and if I do, scold me, okay? That is, if I say something that is not right, scold me, please. The phrase that is repeated most in the Bible, 365 times, is "do not fear." Or "do not be afraid," depending on the translation, but the essence is the same. And what happens when we are afraid? And this is a super interesting anthropological part. Where does anxiety come from? From fear. Where does depression come from? From fear. Where does envy come from? From fear. Where does anger, rage come from? From fear. The origin of most sins is fear. The origin of most of the things we do that destroy ourselves and destroy the people around us is fear. Most of the, I mean, literally all mental health problems, except genetic ones, schizophrenia, psychopathy, and all those kinds of things, their origin is the dysregulation of the nervous system, because we perceive things as more dangerous than they are and we chronicize survival states. The origin of everything is fear. And that, ladies and gentlemen, has just turned the Bible into the best self-help book, among many other things, in history. Look how beautiful what it says in 2 Timothy 1:7. What does this mean? That our essence, what God has given us, is the opposite of fear. In fact, he has given us everything we need to face fear. We have power, we have love. That love, this is very interesting because normally we believe that the opposite of fear is what? Courage, right? But it's not the opposite, because to be brave we have to be afraid first. Courage is a way of processing fear. The opposite of fear is love. And it's very beautiful because it even happens on a biological level. When a woman is in the process of labor, she is secreting oxytocin. Oxytocin is this hormone of love that is secreted when we hug someone we love very much for a while, or when we laugh with our friends, or when we hug a baby. That is the hormone, that beautiful feeling of love that is felt, that is what the mother's body is secreting all the time during labor. What happens if, as in my case... My husband took the car and thought the baby was going to fall out between my legs, and so, he drove 200km/h on the road. What happened? That the fear that my husband's irresponsible, reckless, and terrifying driving caused me made my body produce adrenaline, which is the hormone of fear. And since adrenaline is antagonistic to oxytocin, my labor stopped. It's okay, it resumed after 2 hours, don't worry. But of course, when I arrived at the hospital, I was having contractions every 3 minutes, I arrived like the baby was falling out, and I arrived at the hospital and they tell me: "Girl, but your labor has stopped." I looked at my husband like: That's the perfect example. Just like when we feel a lot of fear, subconsciously, what do we do? Hug someone. Because the hug produces oxytocin, which makes my adrenaline go down. So, God has given us power, he has given us love, and he has given us self-control. Why has he given us self-control? Why do we need self-control to fight against fear? How does fear enter our minds? With thoughts. Of course, they are thoughts like "you're not going to make it," "you're not good enough," "you'll see you'll fail the exam, your parents will be angry with you"... All these thoughts that generate fear do not come from God, they come from the enemy. And why do they put them in us? Because when we are afraid, we become our minimum viable version, we start to have a lot of mental health problems, and we stop identifying and developing the gifts He has given us. We stop contributing the value to the world that He wants us to give to others. Why has he given us self-control? Because he has given us the ability to make all our thoughts captive to Christ. Every thought that enters your head like "you're not good enough," "you're too fat," "you're not going to do it well," when you internalize it as: "Okay, this doesn't come from God, nor does it come from myself, it comes from the enemy who is here trying to stop me from doing what I have to do," you say: "Thank you for your words, but I don't need them. Bye." And with a warrior attitude, because we have to have a warrior attitude. We have to fight against the intruders that enter our brains as thoughts to scare us. But what about the people who attack me, the people who want bad things for me? Look how beautiful this verse is, which is "If God is on our side..." It also depends on the translation. This is the New Living Translation, but it is: "If God is with us, who can be against us?" Have you ever thought that, having been reborn in Christ, you literally have the Holy Spirit within you? And who is the Holy Spirit? If we know that when we have God in us, Satan, at most, can only do to us what God allows him to do to discipline us or to put trials in front of us that help us grow, no one can go against us. But the verse continues and says: "If God did not spare his own Son but gave him up for us all..." If he is capable of sacrificing his only Son in the most horrific way possible so that we don't have to receive the punishment we deserve, what will he not give us? What will he say no to? He will say no to the things we want, but anything we need and ask him for, he will give us without hesitation. How to avoid asking for things he might not give us? Ask for things we know we absolutely need. Instead of saying: "God, please, I want to pass this exam," say: "God, please, give me the strength, the determination, the discipline, and the motivation to study for this exam." Do you see the difference? I'm asking for the things I need to pass the exam. Not "I want to pass the exam, God, let me pass the exam." No. Because then God looks at you and says "study," like the good father he is. What do parents say? Study. This one is beautiful. I have an Instagram account that God has grown... I don't understand it, I mean, it's beyond my human comprehension. But well, now there are many people on my Instagram who are sometimes very kind, very pleasant, and sometimes they are not. And in fact, when I started expressing my faith publicly, in our circle of friends, there were people who started saying that I had a very serious mental health problem, that I needed to go to a psychiatrist, that I had some obsessive-compulsive disorder because I was getting into a cult, I was a fanatic, they started talking to my husband to try to turn my husband against me... I mean, all these kinds of things. And this verse helped me a lot. Because before, when people told me "you're crazy" or "you're not doing things right" or whatever, I listened to them. But now I am completely immunized to the negative opinions of others. Why? If God, with all the, forgive me, screw-ups I've made in my life, with all the harm I've done to other people, with the harm I've done to myself, with all the horrific sins I've committed, with all my iniquity, I am still valid for him, then, as we say in Andalusia, Rita la cantaora can come at me. Of course, if I am valid for God, what does it matter to me if someone writes to me on Instagram, if the King of Spain comes to me, or whoever comes to me. They are no more than God. So, if I am valid for God, whoever doesn't consider me valid, well, that's their problem. Do you see how God builds identity? Let's go to the last one from Romans. And Jesus has inherited a kingdom that, as His Brothers, we will inherit with Him. Here Romans gives us the last pillar we need, which is hope. Because when I lived without God, at a point where I believed I was the creator of my own reality, that since I believed in reincarnation, I thought I was here to fix the problems of the previous reincarnation. And so, I manifested my reality with the law of attraction, and then I did things and movements and stuff to raise my vibration. And if my vibration was high enough, then I, who was my own goddess, could do this: and manifest an 8 million euro mansion. Of course, the problem with that is that all the responsibility is on your shoulders, and when things don't turn out the way you want them to, you lose all hope. I reached a point last year, around this time, in July, where I made the firm decision that my family would be better off without me. I didn't have suicidal ideations, but later, talking with psychiatrists, I was admitted to a psychiatric unit and all that, the psychiatrists told me that that is the first step, that they are passive death thoughts. Why had I reached that point? Because I had no hope at all. I was fully aware of all the harm I was causing to the people around me, but I had no way to improve because I didn't yet know that the Lord would enter me, that He would regenerate me, and that, in a process of sanctification, He would free me from my dead body in trespasses and sins, and He would grow in me the fruits of Grace. I didn't yet know that the person I am today was possible in me. A patient, joyful, good mother, good wife, good friend. I didn't know I was capable of this. The person I was last year wanted to die because she realized the harm she was doing to her children with her screams, with her hysteria, with her anger, with her irritability, how badly she treated her husband, how badly she treated her family. And I didn't know this was possible. Because I didn't have hope. Because I didn't know what God can do in us here and what He promises us afterward.