Transcription
This better be good. [Music] [Applause] [Music] As time goes by, [Music] [Music] just over a year ago, I had the idea to start documenting my life. The next 12 months proceeded with filming my life fairly consistently.
What began as an attempt to reconnect with my creative process soon turned into much more. That is as far as I go, and suffice it to say I learned from it all. It took me to a place beyond what I set out to do. Yes, girl! At the time, it seemed like a small, simple challenge, but little did I know it would completely change my life. [Music]
Before this, I was making videos here and there, but everything I was doing didn't feel creatively fulfilling enough. Nothing was working. At this point, I was losing hope. Making a single video took ages, and at the same time, I had become bored and comfortable with what I was making. I had always wanted to be a YouTuber, but I was tired of things not working out. So, in one final act before calling it quits, I decided I was going to do something I was always interested in but never did: I was going to vlog.
I set out on my mission for the next year. I told myself I would keep things loose, keep a playful attitude, and get out of my perfectionism. I would do one video a week. I don't know why I said that. I started looking for stories and big adventures, and more often, mundane everyday things. I didn't want to think too much about it; I just wanted to do something that I loved and to get in touch with my self-expression again without being affected by external influences. And for the most part, it worked. I felt excited about making things again, and I finally found something that felt like me.
But even with all this newfound resolve, there were still some things that were unexpected. [Applause] [Music] Oh no! This is a good idea. [Music] Why? Oh my God, it's open already! To say I learned a lot on this journey would be an understatement. It was somewhere between the late nights, missed deadlines, and generally trying to keep up that I quickly figured out that this was different than anything else I've attempted before. I went from creating ever so often to every single day. And despite my best efforts to feel prepared going into each new story, there were times where it didn't happen like that at all. Whether schedules would change, shots wouldn't work out, or inspiration suddenly falling flat. It's cold. It's so cold. It's cold. But despite those things, it forced me to think of creative solutions, make decisions quickly, and just embrace what was in front of me and let things unfold for itself. I feel like I've been in like random ass locations this entire video, and honestly, that's what's happening.
It was invaluable to experiment with different formats and stories. You get to see what sticks and what doesn't. You let go of imperfections often and learn more about your process each time. It was the most videos I've ever made and the most I've ever lost, but for once, it was also the most something had ever felt right. I did not reach my original goal of making something every single week, but if I didn't set my goal that high, I wouldn't have even made half of what I did. But as usual, we overestimate what we can do in a week but underestimate what we can achieve in a year. [Music]
I always thought there was a beauty to documenting your life, to have an archive of memories to look back on, to remember how you felt in that moment. It taught me that there was always still more to go and that life moves fast, whether or not you're ready for it. At the beginning of this challenge, I said I wanted to live like the main character and romanticize as much of the ordinary as I could. There is no way I could have known at the time, but this idea was about to change my life. I saw stories in the ordinary, the magic in the mundane, did things I was always shy to, and lived how I always wanted to. Even some things I could have never believed, and found a little bit more of myself each time. In between, there's only a handful of times we feel this innate tug towards an idea, and those are the moments we choose to follow it. And even then, we'll fail and almost quit a dozen times, but all it takes is to show up the next day till something finally clicks.
All in all, looking back at the past year, observing my relationship with creating and how that has evolved from what it was, I found the things I actually really love to make. I understand myself much more as an artist, as a person—how I like to create and how I don't, and what I would do differently going forward. And I wouldn't have done any of that if I always just stuck to what I knew. But as always, what we fear doing most is usually what we most need to do. I had no idea that one small commitment would lead to the most craziest year of my life, but whatever forces were behind that, I'm glad I listened. I don't know if I will ever truly be able to express how I feel about this all, so you're just going to have to take my word for it. But for what it's worth, know the weight is for a reason, the risk will be worth it, and you never really know what will work until you do it. [Music] [Applause] [Music]
Hello! Here we are. I know this video was supposed to come out a while ago, but we got there in the end. And I just wanted to come on here and say thank you for the past year. Honestly, it has been the most surreal time of my life, and I could not have asked for a more supportive audience throughout it all. It made creating on here such a joy, and all the support was so encouraging every time I want to try something new throughout the year and experiment. We started off this challenge at 7,000 subscribers, and it is just insane to say that there's over 700,000 of you now. But I'm very excited for the next chapter and all the things that I have up my sleeve. I got some—I got some ideas. So I just want to come on here and say, from the bottom of my heart, thank you for such an amazing year. Like, I could not have even imagined what was going to happen. Um, but if you've been following along, then we know that it's been—it's been quite the ride. But for now, in the meantime, you can find me on Instagram at life of Frieza, and I will see you in the next season. [Music]