Transcription
Stoicism is a school of philosophy that teaches the importance of calm, resilience, and emotional stability in facing a random, unfair, and evil world. Stoicism was originally taught by Zeno of Citium, who experienced a great disaster, namely losing all his wealth because his ship sank during his journey. He lost everything he had purely because of an unexpected act of nature. This was followed by Epictetus, a slave who spent almost his entire life in prison. Then came Seneca, a Roman politician who survived bankruptcy and exile, and Marcus Aurelius, a Roman emperor who, for 19 years, led major wars while simultaneously facing the death of his children.
Stoicism initially started in ancient Greece and later dominated ancient Rome. The followers of this philosophy were numerous and spread widely, from slaves to emperors, and it is still very famous today. This philosophy is distinct from others; it helps us deal with negative feelings that arise due to unpleasant events that happen to us. People who understand or deepen this philosophy are usually known as Stoics. Stoics are now better known as individuals who remain calm in the face of the hustle and bustle of the world, who can endure injustice and still strive to live their lives.
Stoicism has also been commonly practiced by great leaders in history, such as Marcus Aurelius, Frederick the Great, Montaigne, George Washington, Thomas Jefferson, Adam Smith, John Stuart Mill, Theodore Roosevelt, General James Mattis, and many more—all influenced by Stoic philosophy. A Stoic person is someone who can remain calm even when under pressure. A Stoic can avoid excessive emotions, knowing when to be angry and when to be sad. Most importantly, Stoics understand that being angry is sometimes the rational thing to do, but in most situations, anger is merely the source of poor decisions that lead to regret. Likewise with sadness; they know when to be sad and when to stop being sad and move on, recognizing that excessive sadness will not take a person anywhere in life.
To become a Stoic person, there are several exercises we can practice to improve our ability to remain calm in the face of this harsh world. We must understand that there are things we can control and things we cannot control. Sometimes, we worry too much about things beyond our control, which can cause stress and eventually lead to depression. We can't control almost everything in this world; we can't control what other people think of us, the weather, traffic jams, natural disasters, or even death. However, we can control how we react to the situations presented to us. Whether an event is sad or not, whether it is fair or not, we ourselves determine our response.
As Marcus Aurelius said, "It doesn't hurt me unless I consider the event painful for me; I can choose not to." Why should we be sad about things that are beyond our control? We should focus on things that are within our control. This is important because it can improve our focus, increase our ability to turn expectations into reality, and help us accept reality without blaming the world. We can't go back to the past to change things we might have done wrong, but we can change how we perceive the past that happened to us.
No matter how loud you scream and honk, traffic jams will not suddenly clear. You can't make yourself 5 cm taller or shorter just by wishing. No matter how hard you try, you can't suddenly be born in a different country or hope to have different parents with different economic statuses. The time we spend worrying and having empty hopes about things beyond our control should be used for things we can control. If someone says you're such and such a person and you don't like it, you can't change their mind or hope they never say something like that. It's not in your control, but what you can control is how you react to what that person says. You decide whether you should be sad, angry, or indifferent; it all depends on you.
So, try asking yourself every day, in every situation you face. If possible, make a journal and reflect daily on what is in your control and what is not. Determine how you will react to these events. The premeditatio malorum is a Stoic exercise about imagining things that could go wrong or fail. By imagining it in our minds as if it has already happened, we prepare ourselves for the tests of life that we cannot avoid. We don't always get what we expect; sometimes, unfair things can happen to us. Psychologically, we should prepare ourselves and our mentality for when something bad happens.
When we imagine that bad things will happen to us, if they do occur, we will feel fine—at least not as sad as when we never expected the worst. Conversely, when bad things don't happen, we will feel happy because things beyond our expectations and desires occur. For example, Seneca always reviewed his plans. When he wanted to travel, he would imagine or write in a journal anything that could go wrong or make his plans fail. Perhaps a storm would come, the captain would fall ill, or the ship could be hijacked. “Nothing happens to a wise man that is contrary to his hopes,” he wrote to his friend. Not everything turns out as he wants, but he considers that something could obstruct his plans.
Imagine clearly what the worst possibility would be and also that it is still survivable; you will not die because something bad happened to you. So that if, for example, something bad happens, we are prepared and don't express excessive emotions such as panic, anger, and excessive sadness, which will only worsen the situation. The great German philosopher Friedrich Nietzsche explained what constitutes a great man as in amor fati—love of destiny. “That person doesn't want anything to be different, not in the future, not in the past, not ever. Not just enduring what is necessary, let alone hiding it…but loving it.” Stoics are very strong in this attitude.
Epictetus, who lived as a slave and faced difficulty after difficulty, once said: "Look for things to happen the way you want them to. Instead, hope that what happens happens the way it happens; then you will be happy." Loving a dream too much to the point of being attached to it can be dangerous if the dream doesn't come true. Having dreams is good because it gives us a "sense of purpose," but we must detach from those dreams. Don't be too obsessed with dreams and goals; occasionally practice premeditatio malorum, imagining if you fail to achieve that dream. Amor fati is an excellent exercise and mindset to deal with what happens, facing each moment as something to be confronted rather than avoided, no matter how challenging it may be.
Marcus Aurelius once wrote: "You could die now. Let that determine what you will do, say, and think." Memento mori is a personal reminder to keep living in virtue. A wise man lives as long as he can, not as long as he wants. Quality of life is better than quantity. Memento mori: "Let us prepare our minds as if we were coming to the end of life. Let's not delay anything. Let's balance the book of life every day. People who put the finishing touches to their lives every day are never short of time." Seneca often reminded us that “you may not wake up again tomorrow” or “you may not sleep again” as a reminder of death.
Steve Jobs sat down several times a week in the morning and thought, if today were his last day, would he be happy doing the things he was going to do that day? If he answered “no” three days in a row, he would spend his time reflecting on “what went wrong.” If we feel that our death is near, the things we have always wanted to do will definitely be done. The life you want to live will definitely be lived. This is how we should think and act, without further delay. Sometimes we know something is important to us, but because we feel we still have a lot of time, we arrogantly postpone it.
Using these reminders every day will help us build a more fulfilling life and not waste a single second of our time in vain. In Stoicism, the art of journaling is not just a diary; this practice is a philosophy in itself. It involves preparing for tomorrow and reflecting on the day that has passed. Remind yourself of lessons learned from others, readings, or experiences today. Stoicism is a philosophy of practice and routine, not a passage that only needs to be read once to be understood, but a lifelong journey that requires persistence, repetition, and concentration.
Seneca once explained to his friend, "I examine my whole day and recall what I have done and said, hiding nothing from myself, missing nothing." By writing and reflecting on the ups and downs, the good things to be grateful for, and the bad things to learn from in our days, we create a "sense of order" in our minds. As Marcus Aurelius did in his book "Meditations," Seneca, who was wealthy as an advisor to Nero, the Roman emperor at that time, suggested that we use several days a month to practice misery. Eat little food, wear the worst clothes, and don't sleep in a bed. “Are these things what I'm afraid of?” Comfort is the worst kind of slavery because you will continue to fear that something or someone will take that feeling of comfort away from you.
However, if you practice misfortune, if that happens in your life later, your mentality will not be as damaged as before. Anxiety comes from uncertainty, not from experience, and this emotion can damage our mentality, decisions, and even our days. The solution is to do something; make yourself familiar with the worst-case scenario that you fear. Stoicism has an exercise called reversing obstacles, which means every bad situation or thing can be turned into a source of something good.
If, for example, you try to help someone and their reaction is not gratitude but instead they want to punch you, instead of making your life worse, maybe that's a lesson for you to be more patient. Or when someone close to you dies, it might be a lesson for you to be more steadfast. There is no good or bad in Stoicism; there is only perception. You control your own perception. You can choose how you perceive something. If X happens, then my life is ruined, or if X happens, then I'm okay. You decide whether something that happens is bad or good for yourself.
Take a step back, zoom out, and look at life from a broader perspective. This exercise of imagining billions of people, all the armies, farms, marriages, divorces, births, and deaths encourages us to take perspective and reminds us how small we really are. Looking from above can change our value judgments on things: luxury, power, war, and the worries of everyday life will become ridiculous. If we look from a third person's perspective, we will realize that our problems are not that big; we will see that the problems we face are not comparable to those that everyone else faces. And if we zoom out even more, we can see that this small planet is no bigger than dust compared to the universe.
Those are eight practices you can do to become more Stoic and live a calmer life with stable emotions.