Transcription
JD said better than the better than the Bears. Um, yesterday, no, here's the thing: the Raiders cannot afford to take a sack here.
Oh my God, he dropped the snap! He dropped the snap! But there's laundry on the field. Casey has the football. It's a false start, no play. It's a false start, no play. Are you sure about that? What's the call? It's on the offense. Is it a legal formation? A legal shift? F start? No, no, he said illegal shift.
Wow, wow! Oh my God, you [ __ ] idiots! You [ __ ] idiots, bro! Are you [Music] insane? You've got to be kidding me, bro! You've got to be kidding me, bro! You've got to be kidding me, bro! Are y'all serious?
JD Fresh said this was better than the Bears yesterday. It's exactly like the Bears yesterday, fam. JD Fresh said this was better than the Bears yesterday. This is exactly like the Bears, fam.
Oh my God, are you out of your mind, bro? What are they doing? Doing how, fam? You just drove down the field! Why did the center snap the football? Aiden didn't even call for it! Why would you do that?
And this [ __ ] is over here, and he knew he [ __ ] up because you saw him signaling to the sideline. Oh, false start! It's on me! It's on me! It's just a false start, that's on me! Why the [ __ ] would you snap the ball? What are you doing, son?
He over here talking about that [ __ ]. First off, I got to know who's the [ __ ] it's an illegal shift 'cause they weren't set. You snapped! That's your [ __ ] fault! They spiked the football! That's on the center! You have nobody to be upset with but yourself, fam!
Why would you snap the football, bro? You know better than that! We're this late into the [ __ ] season! What are you doing? Oh, this man's stupid! You've got to be kidding me, bro! Y'all were driving down the field!
Just spike the football! You have no timeouts! You're in field goal range! [ __ ] relax, bro! Very next play, even though Daniel Carlson missed three straight field goals, bro! Very next play, all you need to do is either get a couple of yards and get out of bounds, or perhaps the football gets thrown out of bounds, and you kick the field goal the very next play!
But bro, live to see another down! What are you rushing for? How are you so antsy? Just [ __ ] wait! What are you rushing in the [ __ ] snap? He knew he [ __ ] up 'cause he was doing this.
You think this [ __ ] was Remember the Titans? Homie was [ __ ] doing this [ __ ]. Oh, you say rolling, rolling, rolling down the river! Rolling down the river! No, dummy! It's illegal shift 'cause of you! Y'all still getting the play ready! You snapping the football!
The [ __ ] is you doing? You trying to start a fire? You ashy out there! I ain't put on lotion since the summertime! If I just rub my fist together, I can start a fire! What are you doing? Are you dumb?
Oh my God, son! You just find ways to lose football games! This is why you two and ten! This is why you two in [ __ ] ten! Bro, you've got to be kidding me! Why would you snap the ball? Nobody called for it!
Okell's a young quarterback! He's still trying to get [ __ ] set up over there, bro! Why you in position? Y'all did y'all job! Y'all marched down the field! [ __ ] relax! Ansy for what reason?
Oh my God, bro! I think this eliminates the Raiders from playoff contention! I'm 100% sure this eliminates the Raiders from playoff contention! Now granted, you didn't really have playoffs in your [ __ ] future, but this is a goddamn divisional game! You have a chance to give KC their second loss of the season, bro!
How? Oh my God, fam! What are you doing? What are you doing? No [ __ ] Thanksgiving leftovers for you! You probably ate plentiful yesterday! Today, no goddamn Thanksgiving leftovers! The only thing you get to consume is the Gatorade and the water that has since been sitting there on the sideline for the entirety of the game!
I hope that sun [ __ ] is super watered down! Obviously, water can't be more watered down, but I hope that sun [ __ ] is flat! Water can't really necessarily be flat for all intents and purposes, but I hope it's not nutritious! I hope it's not plentiful, and I hope it's not tasty whatsoever, bro!
Somebody needs to [ __ ] inside of your goddamn [ __ ]! I don't want to make the noise; I'll have her make the noise! H to inside of your goddamn water! I said somebody needs to H inside of your goddamn water, bro! What the hell was that?
Oh my God, you got the football, but for whatever reason, you decided, "Oh no, I wanted to snap it because I want to feel the wind from between my damn fingers when I snap the football betwixt my legs! I want to feel that draft all in my ass!" And you snap the football before the quarterback's even ready! For what reason, bro? Why?
Why? That's so dumb, son! You just find ways to lose games! I don't understand, bro! Why? Why you getting paid handsomely? You go out there and you snap the football prematurely! Early! For what reason?
I promise you his girlfriend is unsatisfied in bed! Just constant premature ejaculation! Coming early for no reason! Why, sir? [ __ ] relax! What are you rushing for? You made every play you needed to make to get down the field!
And they were moving down the field efficiently! Incredible clock management with being able to get down the field! Not a single Raider actually caught the ball and ran out of bounds! They moved all the way down the field while being tackled in bounds!
They made it to midfield with a minute left on the clock! You couldn't ask for a better two-minute drill! And finally, when you make it into what have been field goal range, it's not a chip shot because we saw Carlson miss three field goals, albeit 55, 56, 58!
But this would have been a what? From where? Where were they in the down and distance? Where were they in the down and distance? They were at the 32-yard line, bro! 32-yard line! That's a 49-yard field goal! 50 if they want to put, 'cause it's usually 17 to 18 depending on how long of an inch or a yard it was from where the football was at!
It's a 49 or 50-yard field goal, bro! He can make that! Now granted, he missed three from 56 plus, 55 plus, but bro, give your team a chance! Why would you snap it early? Who are you listening to? You Randy Orton?
I hear voices in my head! They talk to me! They understand! They talk to me! Who is talking to you? Who is talking to you? You had Ruk over your [ __ ] shoulder! You wanted to go into the death notes so bad! You had Ryuk over your shoulder! What are you doing?
Premature snaps for what? Somebody go take that man's shoulder pads! Grab his damn helmet! Unscrew the face mask! Somebody find a way to sodomize this man! So what are you doing, son? What are you doing?
This is ridiculous! Homie needs to go into the goddamn bathroom! By the time he goes and takes a shower, somebody hits him over the head with a goddamn clubbing blow! And upon him waking up, he's going to be like, "Wait a minute, what's all in my ass?" It's your [ __ ] face mask!
What is you doing, son? Oh my God, this is ridiculous! He too is a degenerate! Mike Tomlin was questioning on what the goddamn Raiders center was doing, and he said, "You know I'm a degenerate! What are you doing, bro?"
I don't understand, son! Sometimes, sometimes I be watching these games like, "How the [ __ ] are these [ __ ] on the goddamn field, bro? How did you make it and I didn't, bro? How? I know I was average, dare I say I'm ass compared to y'all, but you go out there, two-minute drill, you ass!"
Come on, man! You know better than that! Raiders Nation watching the game confused like [Music] make it make sense, bro! Make it make sense, bro! Make it make sense, bro!
I hope that man's family made the trip over to Kansas City to go watch this game post-Thanksgiving on Black Friday! And somebody screaming from the [ __ ] sidelines in front of whoever his significant other just so happens to be, just so she can hear him in earshot as they scream at him, "You are nothing but a great big [ __ ]!" That's exactly what you are, bro!
In fact, he needs to be paying people for that dumbass goddamn fluster, that folly that he just did on prime time! Amazon Prime, might I add, on Black Friday! Bro, you should be paying people out! I hope he gets fined!
How much do we need? I want 8 grand! That's exactly what I need, bro! That's exactly what, as a matter of fact, how much I need you to pay me again? I want 8 grand! This [ __ ] is ridiculous, bro!
Boo! This man, this or they booing me? No, they're saying boo, ears! Boo, ears! I wasn't saying boo, ears! I was definitely saying boo, boo! Antonio Pierce needs to be inside the goddamn locker room right now saying, "Remove this cracker from my show! Get him the [ __ ] up out of here, bro! Get him the [ __ ] up out of here, bro!"
This is ridiculous! I don't understand! Back-to-back days we get absolute flustering, um, ending conclusions to games! First, it's the Bears, now it's the Raiders! Both these [ __ ] need to be sent to Mexico! Go play in the goddamn MFL!
Matter of fact, send them across the pond! Shoot them [ __ ] over to Australia! Go play [ __ ] football with the alligators and [ __ ]! Okay, the dingo! See my B, but you need to be over there, bro! Both these [ __ ] need to get the hell up out of here!
Spell it for me, Shannon! Capital B, capital O, capital A, capital F! Both, both, both, both! Get them the [ __ ] up out of here, bro! This [ __ ] is ridiculous!
F, I can't! I can't deal with it! I just don't understand it! I just don't understand it! We in a situation where you got a chance to take down the champions! And albeit, it's a game for all intents and purposes that ain't going to matter because you're probably not going to make it to the postseason regardless!
You got nine losses! Even if you was to go undefeated for the remainder of the season, you would need the Wild Card seedings in the, you know, in the AFC to fall off of a [ __ ] cliff for you to even have a chance to contend! For all intents and purposes, you're eliminated! You're mathematically eliminated!
It's just a matter of time for when you know you get called home for glory for the remainder of the season! But you have a chance here to pull off a victory on prime time in field goal range, and you do [ __ ] like this! I just, I don't understand it, bro! I really don't understand it!
[ __ ] Raiders was out there cooking in the goddamn studio with LeBron! [Music] [Music] James, get his big ass off the field! Off! It's a direction you can [ __ ]! I said get his big ass off the field! Off! It's a direction you can [ __ ]!
Says he want to spend all that goddamn time eating churros, consuming macaroni, eating all kinds of protein, eating steaks! [ __ ] big ass probably be eating chitlins and [ __ ]! Maybe your big ass needs to get back in the kitchen because you don't need to be on the [ __ ] field!
The hell is you doing, bro? What the hell is you doing? Yesterday it was the Bears, today it's the [ __ ] Raiders! Stupid ass [ __ ]! Bro, maybe he needed to stop the clock! A lord of, oh, but wait a minute, they did that the play before because they spiked the [ __ ] football, didn't they?
You big ass [ __ ]! But oh no, I don't want to freaking snap the football when it's actually called on me to go and snap! I want to play football for myself! I do what I want! I do what I want! I snap whenever I want to snap! I'm the center!
Big C over here! Big C over stupid [ __ ]! I hope there's Crips around the country who make their trip to Las Vegas and beat your ass up for having anything to do with the let us SE! Beat that [ __ ] up, bro!
I hope big men who play basketball find your big ass and beat you up for [ __ ] with a goddamn position in a different sport! Center back, whatever the case just so happens to be! Baseball, if there's a center fielder, go out there and pelt this [ __ ] with baseballs, bro!
You playing in soccer? I don't know if there's a center position there over in soccer! Go whip this man's ass as well! Everybody needs to go and grab a little bat! Everybody needs to go and grab a bat and beat your dumb ass, bro!
'Cause what is you doing, son? What is you doing? It needs to, they need to turn you into a piñata! Go eat as many candies as you possibly can! Call up the cartel and they start beating your ass with the goddamn bats! Little bats, big bats, and perhaps even knives!
You need to be dealt with, bro! Call this man Señor Vato! You need to have your ass whipped! What are you doing, son? This man's a dummy! Dummy! Yeah, yeah, dummy! Yeah, yeah, dummy! Yeah, yeah, dummy! Straight up [ __ ] dummy, bro!
I bet I know exactly who your [ __ ] best friend just so happens to be! Sant! 'Cause clearly you happen to go out there and do stupid [ __ ]! You can't be trusted! You can't be trusted, bro! Man's a clown!
Since you want to be a clown, I thought I should let you know the circus is nine miles in the opposite direction! Call up the Seas! Go beat this [ __ ] up! Fight back, [ __ ]! 'Cause when it comes to choking away games, that's you!
I don't even know this man's name! I don't even know this man's [ __ ] name! As far as I'm concerned, who are you? Just call me deep throat! Big ass [ __ ]! [ __ ] the bed! The football probably ain't make it past his ass 'cause he shad himself out there!
Like I said, he shad himself out there! Like one more time in case you didn't see it! Him shad himself! Like what? Get that man a [ __ ] diaper! The hell wrong with them? What's wrong with them? What's wrong with him?
What's wrong with him? What's wrong with him? Ridiculous, bro! Who employed this man? I don't know! 'Cause he does have no business being on the [ __ ] football field, fam! Just lousy! He's a no-good, lousy son of a [ __ ]! That's exactly what he is!
But he's a no-good bastard for what he did, and he ought to burn in hell for it! As far as I'm concerned, tonight this [ __ ] better sleep with one eye open! One eye open when I'm sleeping! One eye! That's what needs to happen, fam!
Somebody need to go to this man's crib and give him the [ __ ] business! Somebody need to give him the business! Hit him with all kinds of forearm! Hit him with all kinds of elbow! Hit him with all kinds of clubbing blows!
This man needs to be dealt with 'cause you just cost the team the [ __ ] football game! That's all I can stand! I can't SPS no more! That's stupid! Use your common sense! Y'all killing me with this! Just ridiculous, bro!
I can't! I can't do it! I can't [ __ ] do it, bro! I can't [ __ ] do it, bro! Son need to be [ __ ] dealt with, son! I, I, I can't! How do you lose the game like this? You literally in position! Back-to-back days and prime time! This what we see? Are you serious?
Everybody watched Chicago's debacle, and then you come out, "I'll raise you some stupidity myself!" Are you serious? Take him to suplex city! Suplex city! [ __ ] can't deal with it, bro! Can't deal with it, bro!
This [ __ ] is [ __ ] ridiculous! We was all watching the game like, "What is that?" 'Cause how do you snap the ball? We literally sitting there like, "All right, bet! Yo, they just snap! They, they, they, they snap the ball! They stopped the clock! He spiked it! All right, cool! Yo, all we need, all we need right now, one play! Maybe get some additional yardage, or maybe you throw it out of bounds, and you got a 49 or 50-yard field goal to win the game!"
Daniel Carlson, opportunity to make up for the earlier misses and possibly take down the defending champions! But oh no! Let's not even do that! Let me just [ __ ] snap the football and then get an illegal shift to where now the football's in play and it's recovered by the defense clearly, and you lose possession!
But this man is over here talking about, "It's a false start! It's a false start! It's a false start!" Would you have rather it had been a false start, back your dumbass an additional five yards to where now it's a 55-yarder? And you still have an unfortunate situation where if you get tackled in bounds, you can't clock it in time 'cause it's 11 seconds, well, 14 seconds at the time!
This [ __ ] don't make no sense! Why the [ __ ] was y'all even not knowing what the hell you was doing? You spiked the football! You should know what the hell you doing over there, bro! Bro, you stink! Let me just get that out the way! You stink!
And I said earlier in the stream, I like Antonio Pierce! I think he should remain with his job! But let's call it what it is! This is the Las Vegas Oakland Raiders! We know how they operate! We know how Mark Davis move! [ __ ] refuse to give coaches a chance!
So what's going to happen? Probably effective immediately tomorrow morning, or perhaps on Monday, we going to end up seeing Antonio Pierce has been contacted by Mark Davis, and he said, "Yeah, what?" And they going to get his ass the [ __ ] up out of here!
Because you allowed your goddamn center to take a look at your team and say, "You know what? I could [ __ ] [ __ ], but I'd rather [ __ ] myself and my team!" And tonight, 'cause that's exactly what the [ __ ] y'all decided to go out there and do, bro!
I can't deal with this [ __ ] no more, bro! I can't deal with this [ __ ] no more, bro! This is ridiculous! Raiders fans around the country watching their screen right now! I can't do it! I can't do it, bro! I can't do it, bro!
This absolute lunacy! Absolute lunacy! How many people around the season, around the league, been waiting to see Kansas City take a loss like this? How many goddamn times are they going to get away with one possession victories?
I think tonight they tied the New England Patriots of 2003, 2004 when they had that 23-22 game win streak, whatever the case just so happens to be, where you're able to get away with those one possession victories!
Now granted, that's a part of football! 50/50 games exist! But when you constantly have situations where it's not even like you win, you survive because the other team takes themselves out, oh, that's frustrating as hell if you're a Chiefs hater or if you're a fan of the team that just so happens to lose!
And the Chiefs fans is just sitting over there like, "Ah man, I knew the Raiders was going to raid themselves out the game!" How long I've been waiting for this? Oh, I'm about to make a name for myself here! Somebody need to be dealt with, bro!
All I know is that center needs to be investigated expeditiously! Somebody go break into his crib! Pack his ass up, bro! Because I don't care what it is! That guy is ruining a perfectly good game of football here!
I thought it was the [ __ ] Kansas City Chiefs who had the individuals who decided to go and drive a bit reckless and crash vehicles! But instead, turns out it's a [ __ ] raider! They crash goddamn cost and cost themselves the [ __ ] victory!
And tonight, there's only one place that they're going, and that's going to be taking out their Metro cards and getting AB board! Say it with me now, the A [Applause] [Music] train! Because you lose! Quest of a comeback was what? Failure!
Hand them their dinner, please! Fresh hot Ls! Fresh hot Ls! Fresh hot Ls! Fresh hot Ls! Fresh hot Ls! Fresh hot Ls! Fresh hot Ls! Fresh hot Ls! Fresh hot Ls! Fresh hot Ls! Fresh hot Ls! Fresh hot Ls! Fresh hot Ls! Fresh hot Ls! Fresh hot Ls!
Get your lemons, Jo! You lose! And this is a different situation than yesterday with the Bears because I've just been informed that it's official: with this loss, the Las Vegas Raiders have been eliminated from playoff contention!
Because they have just dropped down to two and ten and officially have been kicked out of the race for said playoffs! So go and tell all of those Raiders fans right now to do me a favor and understand that you are heading to elimination station!
And you go somewhere different for your failure of putting together an adequate season! Your failures of racking up enough W's to where you can contend for the tournament to lift up the Lombardi trophy! Consider your names written down the Death Note!
Because your dreams of returning back to the postseason, your dreams of delivering home a fourth Lombardi for your franchise, your dreams of no longer being an absolute joke have been in absolute leader! Pack them [ __ ] the [ __ ] up!
Go call on the Undertaker and let them know that for the remainder of the year, they may come out on Sundays, Mondays, Thursdays, Wednesdays, Tuesdays, Fridays, Saturdays, whatever days there is that we play football!
But you will forever be inside of the SI Rosetta Stone! Haitian crayo! [ __ ] stick them in the casket because for the rest of 2024, you will rest in [Applause] [Music] peace!
Snake, are you okay? Snake! Snake! There's only one thing left to do! Got to write their names in the Death Note! Delete! Dammit! Dammit! Dammit! El, it's over! Free! [Music] a delete! You will rest in peace!
Delete! Confirm! Welcome to Hell! [ __ ]! I hear the shadow realms lovely this time of year! Let's find out if it's true! You going to have to die! Here comes the United States Champion, Chris Bedw!
He's not going to do what I think is he? Oh no! Come on! 16T arms are CL already! I can't believe it! Off the ground! Is he? Who? He did! Yes, he is! B! Look! A! B! Justice! Justice! Justice!
Now I'm not saying he should have killed her, but I understand! I think I may have, uh, I think I may have, uh, been a bit high-strung! Um, may have, uh, lost my composure!
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