Transcription
Much has been written about the life of Ernest Hemingway. Some paint him as a hyper-masculine adventurer; others say he was a womanizing, chauvinist degenerate. Both of these are basically accurate, but wildly incomplete.
Even if you haven't read any of his books, and even if you don't give a damn about Hemingway as an individual, there's a lot to learn from the modern myth of Ernest Hemingway—about how we see people and how we interpret the choices they make. Because beyond the modern caricature, there is a more profound, and rarely told, story of Ernest Hemingway: a tragic story about a man predestined to destroy himself through a number of factors well outside of his control. Hemingway was doomed from the start. But by approaching the life and times of Ernest Hemingway with empathy and compassion, we can unravel the truth about one of history's most impactful creatives. [Music]
The New York Times called Ernest Hemingway "the most significant author since Shakespeare." Born in the American Midwest, Hemingway led a truly outrageous life. He was in both World Wars and had a lifelong fascination with bullfighting. He became a deep-sea fisherman in the Caribbean. The man survived two plane crashes and hunted big game in Africa. Hemingway had four marriages. While it wasn't always pretty, there can be no doubt Ernest Hemingway lived life on the edge, channeled these experiences into his work, and showed a huge talent for writing from a young age. Throughout his life, his novels and short stories reached astonishing heights of critical and commercial success. He was a superstar. At the end of all of this, Hemingway ended his own life with a shotgun. We can never truly understand why a person commits suicide, but by examining each part of his life and his world, we can understand the circumstances that forged Ernest Hemingway.
In the memoir *A Movable Feast*, Hemingway wrote, "Families have many ways of being dangerous." Indeed, Hemingway's family was just that. Ernest Hemingway was born to Dr. Clarence and Grace Hemingway; he was one of six children. As soon as you examine his parents and then his siblings, very disturbing patterns begin to emerge. Dr. Clarence Hemingway was a strict Christian conservative and a vicious disciplinarian who likely suffered from undiagnosed bipolar disorder. He would spank and beat his son with a leather strap. Clarence suffered from abrupt, serious mood swings; these depressive episodes required him to spend large amounts of time in isolation, living far away from the Hemingway's Illinois home. Throughout Hemingway's life, his father expressed disdain for almost everything that the author produced; in one instance, he called a short story of Ernest's "filth that should not have been published anywhere." Ernest's opinion of his father seemed to swing wildly throughout his life. There were times in childhood and adulthood when he admired Clarence Hemingway. But notably, as a child, Ernest had a ritual: Ernest would hide in his family's shed with a shotgun; he would line his father's head up in the sights of the loaded firearm, as if a sort of mock assassination of his own father. Throughout his life, Dr. Clarence had a recurring, crippling battle with depression. In his 50s, he lost that battle once and for all. Dr. Clarence took his own life, shooting himself in the head with a pistol. This is perhaps the moment that divides Ernest's life into a BC and an AD. When his father died, Ernest remarked that it was as if his own life had been shot out from under him. After this incident, his alcoholism and destructive personality traits snowballed like never before. Indeed, he began to express sympathy for his father's decision, but we will discuss that more later.
Ernest hated his mother, Grace Hemingway—not in the way that a spoiled teenager hates their mom, but in a deep, unrelenting, and permanent way. As a boy, Grace insisted that Ernest be dressed like a girl; she had his hair cut short like a girl's. On the back of a photograph of young Ernest wearing a lace dress, Grace wrote the words "summer girl." Grace even attempted to pass her son off as the twin of his older sister, Marceline. She was obsessed with this idea. Grace had Marceline held back a year in school so that the siblings would be in the same grade, but at the same time she would praise Ernest for displaying masculine behavior. She complimented his skill at hunting and fishing and lauded him for his love of manly outdoor activities. Ernest's rage toward his mother began at a young age. Grace would often refer to Ernest as "Dutch Dolly," while the boy called his mother "fuity." At the age of two, Grace once called Ernest "Dutch Dolly," and he responded with, "I not Dutch Dolly, bang bang, I shoot sweetie." So, in his childhood, Ernest expressed a desire to shoot both of his parents. When his father committed suicide, Ernest blamed his mother entirely. In numerous communications, journals, and letters, Ernest would later refer to his mother as fat and said that her controlling, domineering personality drove his father to kill himself. The hatred never eased.
Looking at other members of the Hemingway family, it's easy to see a pattern of intense psychiatric disability. His mother, Grace, suffered from anxiety and insomnia. Two of Ernest's uncles struggled with similar issues. Two of Ernest's five siblings committed suicide; a third died in 1963 officially due to natural causes, but the family strongly suspected suicide. So, of the six Hemingway children, four of them committed suicide. It is likely that Ernest and his own father both suffered from bipolar disorder. Ernest Hemingway's youngest son, Gregory, was diagnosed with this same condition during his life. Although a practicing doctor, Gregory lost his medical license after having uncontrollable substance abuse issues. Throughout his life, Gregory's struggles led to multiple psychiatric hospitalizations and arrests. He eventually died of natural causes in a Miami jail. [Music] Ernest's granddaughter suffered from bulimia, depression, and a seizure disorder before eventually killing herself. That was six suicides in four generations of the Hemingway family. [Music]
Hemingway was born with a generational talent for writing, but he was also born with a litany of incurable and eventually fatal mental disorders. Throughout his life, Ernest self-reported depressive episodes over and over again. In one letter, he told a friend, "I felt that gigantic bloody emptiness and nothingness like I couldn't ever fight right and was all for death." This is just one example, but he would go on to report profound instances of depression throughout his life. Hemingway's first major biographer categorized him as a temperamental manic depressive and said that he swung wildly forever between megalomania and melancholy. This biographer wrote that his mood swung so quickly that he may as well have been exhilarated and depressed at the same time. This radical swinging would manifest itself in his work, too. Hemingway often described a feeling of "juice" and said it was "as bad as any disease." With this "juice," Hemingway could produce massive amounts of truly masterful writing in very short amounts of time. His novel *The Sun Also Rises* is often seen as a masterpiece; Hemingway wrote this book in just eight weeks. These were likely undiagnosed manic episodes. One of Hemingway's wives wrote that the protagonist of his depression was his liver.
For virtually his entire life, Hemingway suffered from severe alcohol dependence. He likely began drinking as a teenager after joining World War I in 1917. Ernest enjoyed cognac and whiskey with his friends and comrades. Hemingway was shot full of shrapnel during his service; while in treatment, he bribed the hospital porter to smuggle cognac in on his behalf. For a young 20-something, this was not particularly alarming, but after his father's suicide, drinking became an everyday activity. He was eventually told by a doctor that his liver was failing; the doctor told Ernest to abstain from drinking, but the author was unable to follow this suggestion. Ernest's third wife left him because of his drinking. Shortly thereafter, a doctor wrote to Hemingway, "My dear Ernie, you must stop drinking alcohol. This is definitely of the utmost importance." Fortunately, Ernest was never able to control his drinking. Today, researchers think that Hemingway's unceasing alcoholism permanently altered his brain chemistry, forcing open the faucet of psychosis towards the end of his life. Still, though, we are only scratching the surface of Hemingway's issues. [Music]
In addition to the horrific mental issues that plagued Hemingway from birth, life presented him with a number of physical injuries. These most certainly had a significant effect on his overall mood, wellness, and even his brain chemistry. [Music] Hemingway was an ambulance driver in World War I. While delivering cigarettes to front-line trenches, a mortar exploded and sent 237 pieces of shrapnel into Hemingway's leg. While the medics were transporting him to a hospital on a stretcher, Hemingway's body was shot several times by enemy gunfire. After returning from the war to his home in Oak Park, Illinois, Hemingway's friends agreed that he had been wounded psychologically just as much as physically. Hemingway had been injured at night time in the war; for the rest of his life, he slept with a nightlight, saying that the darkness caused his soul to leap from his body. Hemingway was also terrified to sleep alone until the day he died. [Music]
Likely due to his lifelong alcoholism, Hemingway was terrifically accident-prone. While living in Paris with his wife, Hemingway arose from bed at night and walked to the bathroom. He mistook the skylight cord for the toilet's flush box chain; Hemingway yanked on it, and the entire skylight fell onto his head. He received a laceration that required nine stitches and he was left with a scar on his forehead. In 1944, he was a passenger in a drunken car accident. He was not driving, but his body was sent through the windshield of the car, causing a concussion and a severe laceration. Less than three months later, he was thrown from a motorcycle in Normandy; this proved to be another traumatic brain injury. For several months afterward, he experienced tinnitus, headaches, slurred speech, blurred vision, and memory loss. In 1945, he was behind the wheel of his car in Cuba when the vehicle slid into an embankment; the metal rearview mirror lacerated Hemingway's forehead. In 1950, Hemingway was on board his boat, *The Pilar*, when he slipped and fell; his head struck the deck of his boat, and he received yet another concussion. Four years later, on safari in Africa, Hemingway experienced his worst brain injury. His plane crashed in Nairobi; Ernest sprained his back, his right arm, and his right shoulder. Thankfully, no one in his party was seriously injured, so they boarded a second plane, which also crashed. As the plane burned on the ground, Hemingway attempted to escape through the plane's door by battering it with his head. During this, he lacerated his scalp and fractured his skull. As he smashed his skull into the metal door, spinal fluid began to leak. The crash left him with temporary deafness, blurred vision, and serious injuries to his brain, liver, spleen, and kidneys. [Music] Altogether, throughout his life, Hemingway suffered from six traumatic brain injuries. Combined with alcoholism and a litany of mental disorders, Hemingway's problems are becoming very clear. [Music]
All of these things happened in a world that, quite frankly, didn't give a damn. Mental health care was virtually nonexistent in Hemingway's time. This is apparent in the fact that no doctors of the age were able to recognize Hemingway's symptoms or provide him with a diagnosis for any mental disorders. There are no records of any doctor conducting serious psychological tests on Ernest Hemingway. A person could put the blame on Hemingway himself—if you want a diagnosis, you need to go seek one, right? Well, Hemingway did see a number of doctors for physical ailments over the years, but the world in which he lived was very different than today's. To seek psychological help as a man in the early 20th century was simply unthinkable; it was to throw away your masculinity and dignity. Eventually, though, Hemingway agreed to see a psychologist at the Mayo Clinic. That doctor's solution was 10 rounds of electroconvulsive therapy. This therapy would ultimately lead to Hemingway's suicide. [Music]
Hemingway carried a lifelong fascination with suicide and death. His earliest short stories dealt with suicide quite heavily. Of his seven completed novels, five end with the death of the male protagonist. After his father killed himself, that fascination seemed to only increase. In 1923, while living in Paris, he wrote to his creative collaborator Gertrude Stein, "I understand for the first time how men can commit suicide simply because too many things in business piling up ahead of them that they can't get through." The following year, he made another remark about suicide in a letter to his friend Ezra: "I still claim that anyone that wants to can do it. Things are looking better, and I look forward to not giving a demonstration of my theory for some time." Years later, Hemingway wrote of suicide again in a letter to a friend: "Me, I like life very much, so much it will be a big disgust when I have to shoot myself, maybe pretty soon I guess." This was written decades before he shot himself. It seems like, on some level, Hemingway had already accepted or decided that his life would one day end in suicide. Perhaps his father's suicide had cemented the idea that it was always an option. [Music]
Towards the end of his life, he began to talk more about suicide as he was increasingly losing his battle with depression. He wrote to a friend, "I'll tell you, Hotch, it's like being in a Kafka nightmare. I act cheerful like always, but I'm not. I'm bone tired and very beat up emotionally." He openly brought up suicide with his doctors, who implored him to check into a psychiatric hospital. Initially, he refused. But in the final years of Hemingway's life, the author lived in extreme pain—tremendous physical pain throughout his entire body—likely due to a then-undiagnosed illness called hemochromatosis. Among the many symptoms of hemochromatosis, there is depression. It is likely that proper treatment for this illness would have also alleviated this depression. Hemingway was never diagnosed and never treated for hemochromatosis. At the Mayo Clinic, Hemingway experienced liver, heart, and kidney damage, diabetes, arthritis, and, of course, deep and intense depression. It was here that he was given shock therapy. After receiving 10 rounds of this primitive treatment, Hemingway was discharged and seemed to be doing better, but his depression quickly returned, worse than ever. He could not summon the words to write and would often break down in tears at his typewriter. Years of brain trauma, alcohol abuse, and now electroconvulsive therapy, in a world that did not care or know how to handle him, had robbed Hemingway of his greatest gift. The ability which had given him reason to live was now gone.
In April of 1961, Hemingway's wife thwarted his first attempt at suicide when she found him loading a shotgun. He was hospitalized immediately. At the hospital, he asked to return home to pick up some personal items. Ernest was chaperoned to his home. When he arrived with his chaperones, he ran from them and got to his shotgun. As he turned the gun on himself, the chaperones caught up and wrestled the firearm away from Hemingway. Ernest Hemingway was transferred to the out-of-state Mayo Clinic again for another hospitalization. Halfway through the journey, the plane landed to refuel. Hemingway got out of the plane and tried to walk into the spinning propeller. The pilot cut the engine, thwarting Hemingway's third suicide attempt in four days. Around this time, Hemingway believed he was being followed by the FBI. His wife and those around him insisted these were just delusions of an insane man. In truth, years later it would be revealed that the FBI had been monitoring Hemingway for decades. They had amassed a huge file on the author, who they believed to be a communist sympathizer. When he arrived at the Mayo Clinic, Hemingway received another round of electroconvulsive therapy. He was discharged days later. His wife feared that Ernest had charmed the doctors into believing he was sane; he was not well. Days after arriving back home, Ernest Hemingway woke up before his wife and shot himself in the head.
This is not all to say that Ernest Hemingway was a victim. He made a lot of really bad choices. He was a womanizer, an often terrible father, and an ego-obsessed liar. But I do believe we should look deeper than these labels. Whether we categorize Hemingway as a man's man who lived a life of adventure or an alcoholic misogynist, we are equally correct and incorrect. We should consider not just the *who* of Hemingway, but also the *why* and the *how*. We should carry some empathy and compassion into conversations about people, perhaps especially the dead, because they are not here to make their own case. To them, I believe we owe honesty. [Music]