Transcription
If you struggle with procrastination, if you struggle to do hard things, if you struggle with discipline sometimes, then hopefully this video is for you.
In this world of self-help and personal development, there's one thing that very few people are talking about, and that is the overwhelming impact of negative emotions that prevent us from doing things and actually getting started with stuff.
So it's not that you're lazy or unmotivated or undisciplined; it's that there is a sinister emotion holding you back, and that emotion is fear.
In this video, we're going to talk through six micro-experiments that you can try that will hopefully help reduce the impact of fear and help you stop procrastinating and finally get started with whatever you've been putting off.
If you're new here, hello! My name is Ali. I'm a doctor turned entrepreneur and author, and since 2017, I've been making videos on this channel about the books, strategies, and tools that can help us live more intentionally, be more productive, and generally build a life that we love.
I also spent absolutely ages researching and writing my book, *Feelgood Productivity*, which is now a New York Times bestseller. This really dives deep into how we can get stuff done without burning out or sacrificing the things that really matter.
It's available in all formats: paperback, Kindle, Audible, and has been translated into 35 languages with thousands of five-star reviews. So if that sounds interesting, there's a link down below.
Now, this video is going to be a little bit different from normal because we're going to be combining some of my own thoughts with some animated sections from the audiobook of *Feelgood Productivity*.
To start, I want to share my own experience of putting off something that was really important to me and what I eventually realized was stopping me from actually getting started.
It took me seven years to launch my business. I'd wanted to start a YouTube channel since 2010, but whenever I thought about shooting that first video, I'd experience some force preventing me from taking the plunge.
I thought I was putting it off because of my perfectionism; I didn't want to produce videos that totally sucked. But looking back, I now realize I was wrong. Something else was holding me back: fear.
The fear of failure, the fear of judgment, the fear of not being good enough. In the end, I didn't create a video until 2017. I thought I was just being lazy or not committed enough, and that fueled my self-doubt and negative self-talk.
But once I started to understand the role that fear was playing in my life, I was able to identify it as the primary obstacle standing between me and my ambitions. Knowledge is power.
Getting to know our fears is the first step towards overcoming them. Now, in the process of writing this book, I did a ton of research into the science of procrastination, just really trying to understand why we don't take action on the things that we say we want to do.
Honestly, one of the biggest realizations that isn't talked about enough is that procrastination isn't just about motivation or discipline; it's often about fear and anxiety.
The reason for this is something called the amygdala hijack. Basically, our brain's threat detection system, the amygdala, kicks into overdrive whenever we perceive something as scary or uncertain, even if there's no real danger.
So instead of lions and tigers and bears, which are a genuine threat, it starts seeing things like posting on LinkedIn, starting my YouTube channel, or quitting my job to follow my passion. It starts to see these as a genuine threat to our safety.
To keep us safe, it nudges us towards the easiest, safest option, which is often to do absolutely nothing. But the good news is, once we understand this, we can work with it.
So let's get into the six experiments that you can try to beat procrastination and hopefully finally take action on whatever it is that you've been putting off.
Experiment number one: there is a fun study that illustrates this, which I write about in the book. Basically, there was a group of researchers at UCLA, and they got a bunch of people who were afraid of spiders to get close to a Chilean rose-haired tarantula.
Now, some of these people were told to distract themselves, some of them were told to reframe the fear, or something else. But one group was asked to just name their fear out loud, like say out loud something like, "I feel anxious that the spider is going to jump on me," or whatever the thing else.
The results of this basically showed that the group that labeled their fear felt less afraid and were more likely to actually approach the spider. Just putting their emotions into words helped them process their fear rather than being controlled by it.
Now, in the field of psychology, this is called affective labeling, and it applies to procrastination as well. We very rarely say something like, "I'm afraid of failure," or "I'm afraid of what people think of me."
Instead, we say things like, "Oh, I'm too busy right now," or "I don't have the right idea," or "I don't have the time right now." But it's really when we acknowledge the real fear that's holding us back from doing the thing that it can lose its grip on us.
So this is experiment number one: the emotion label. Let's segue briefly into the audiobook to explain this.
It's the act of putting your feelings into words, which forces you to identify and get to know the sensations you're experiencing. It works in two ways.
First, it increases our self-awareness. By naming and acknowledging our fears, we cultivate a deeper self-awareness that helps us better understand our emotional patterns.
Second, it reduces our rumination. Cyclical thoughts about our fears can make us even more convinced that fear is justified. When we label our emotions, we become better able to process and release them.
So it's escaping the cyclical thoughts that make us put things off. The trouble is, labeling our emotions isn't always straightforward.
We're very good at rationalizing reasonable reasons for not doing things. "I'm not putting off starting my business because I'm scared of something; I just haven't found the right idea yet."
So how can we get into the habit of naming our fears and learning to process them? One method involves asking yourself a few questions when you're procrastinating.
Say to yourself, "What am I afraid of?" Our core vulnerabilities and insecurities are often at the heart of procrastination. Next, take it a step further and ask yourself, "Where does this fear come from?"
Is it a me reason or a them reason? Me reasons are fears associated with your perception of your ability, for example, being scared that you're not good enough or not well-prepared enough to start.
Them reasons are fears associated with how other people will react to what you do, for example, being scared that people won't like your work or that they'll judge you for putting yourself out there.
In each case, try to internally clarify what your fear is really about and where it's coming from. In instances where you're still struggling to make sense of what the fear actually is, one strategy I find super helpful is I tell myself, "Okay, I'm not sure what I'm feeling about this, but if I were to tell myself a story of someone in my similar shoes, what emotion or fear might they be feeling about this specific thing?"
Often, if you depersonalize the thing, it becomes a lot easier to be like, "Oh, okay, well, in that world, that person would probably be feeling really scared of what other people would think of them, and therefore I'm probably afraid of that as well."
All right, so that was the emotion label. Let's move on to experiment number two.
The idea here is that, yes, sometimes our fears are about something very specific, like starting the project or a tarantula or whatever. But a lot of the time, our fears are broader than that.
They're less about specific problems and more about wider identities. Sometimes we give ourselves these labels, like "I'm not a runner," or "I suck at math," or "I don't like creative tasks," or whatever.
These identities can make us afraid to get started in just the same way that the more specific fears can. Back in the 1960s, psychologist Howard Becker suggested that the labels society places on us profoundly affect the way that we behave.
He found that people who are labeled as criminal after a first crime are much more likely to engage in criminal behavior again. Labels become a self-fulfilling prophecy.
You have one bad relationship, and you conclude that you just aren't any good at relationships at all. You fail one test, and you label yourself an academic failure forever.
Okay, so Becker called this labeling theory, and he suggested that labels can often become self-fulfilling prophecies. That's why experiment number two is the identity label.
The good news is that labeling can also cut the other way. Just as a negative label can amplify our fears, a positive label can overcome them.
For example, when I'm experiencing self-doubt, a favorite label for myself is "lifelong learner." This label highlights my willingness to learn and grow. A lifelong learner would never get stuck in a procrastination rut for long.
When you find that you're putting things off, look at the labels you use. Are you over-identifying with the problem? What might be a more positive way to identify?
Someone who works hard, someone who has achieved a lot before, someone who meets their deadlines. If we can change our labels, we can often change our behavior.
Now, this might sound like a tiny semantic change, but it really isn't. Labels are not just these inert tags that other people place on us; labels are tools that help us make sense of who we are.
One of the strongest forces in human personality is the need to stay consistent with how we label ourselves and how we define ourselves. So if we can change the label, we can often change the underlying fear, and then we can stop procrastinating and take action on what matters to us.
Experiment number three: the 10-10-10 rule. One of the reasons fear is so paralyzing is that we tend to catastrophize in our heads. Some minor setback becomes hugely important.
Take the following: you get rejected by someone you like. As a result, you decide that you're not lovable and will spend your life alone.
When you catch yourself catastrophizing in this way, try to take a step back and look at the bigger picture. The scientific name for this process is cognitive reappraisal—changing the interpretation of a situation so that we feel better emotionally.
You can do this by asking yourself the following three questions, which add up to what I call the 10-10-10 rule: Will this matter in 10 minutes? Will this matter in 10 weeks? Will this matter in 10 years?
Trigger: you get rejected by someone you like. Will this matter in 10 minutes? Well, I might still feel a bit down and might not want to show my face to that person.
Will this matter in 10 weeks? Maybe, but I'll probably be less upset by then. So much could happen.
Will this matter in 10 years? Probably not at all. I'll meet many people between now and then who could completely change my life.
The 10-10-10 rule helps us recognize the magnitude of the problem we're stressing out about. Usually, we discover that the failures we're worried about now aren't the ones that will always define us and that the fears we have now won't always carry such significance.
Okay, so the example I used here is a little bit of a high school/college problem, usually for most people. "Oh, I'm worried I'm going to get rejected by someone I like."
But I find that even for people who are in their 20s, 30s, 40s, 50s plus, there's always this fear—often this over-catastrophized fear of the negative consequences of making that decision.
Like, "Oh my God, it's so risky! I'm going to die! I'm going to end up becoming homeless and alone!"
One exercise I've often found that's really helpful for this is Tim Ferriss's fear-setting exercise. If you want to check that out, just Google Tim Ferriss fear-setting.
It's just like a list of journaling prompts, which whenever I have to make any kind of big decision or something that feels particularly scary that I've been procrastinating on for a while, I run through these different prompts.
It usually helps me realize that the fear is greater in my mind than it actually is in reality.
Experiment number four: the confidence equation. All right, and this is where we are talking about the low-grade sense of self-doubt.
Self-doubt is one of the key fears that stands between us and our goals—the fear that we are just not good enough to do the thing.
I often think of this form of self-doubt as a kind of suspended animation. Part of us thinks, "I really want to do this," but another part says, "There's no way I can."
The result is paralysis. For example, when I procrastinate writing, which is often, it's because I'm suspended between two ideals.
On the one hand, there's a genuine desire to write my book, to create something beautiful, to help people. On the other, there's a little voice in my head saying, "Anything I write is going to be garbage anyway, so there's no point in even doing it."
Self-confidence equals perception of ability minus perception of standards. If we believe our ability is higher than the standard needed, then we're confident.
If we believe our ability is lower than the standard needed, then we're doubtful. What does all this mean for reducing the effects of self-doubt?
Well, just try asking yourself, "Could I just get started even though I'm feeling unconfident?" In most cases, the answer is invariably yes.
I don't need to feel like a Schwarzenegger-style bodybuilder to work out for an hour. I don't need my first crack at my business strategy to be a work of visionary corporate genius.
And I definitely don't need the first draft of my book to be a masterpiece. When you're trying something new, the idea that you should only begin when you feel confident to begin is a blocker all of its own.
The solution? Make a start. You won't need to get perfect for a long time yet. I find that this actually tends to be an issue with a lot of smart and successful people.
If you're watching this channel and you've gotten to this point in the video, you are probably a smart and successful person in some areas of your life.
But if you're trying to do something new, your standards are probably up here because you're used to doing things at a high standard. But your ability is probably here because you have to suck at doing something, especially if you're new at it.
You have to suck at it initially in order to get good. But the problem that we high achievers tend to have is that we're like, "Oh, I want to be that good from day one! I don't want to be this bad from day one!"
So this whole self-doubt thing can really get in the way. One strategy I found super helpful for this, which I got from Oliver Burkeman's book *4,000 Weeks*, which is a very good book, is to just lower the bar.
Just embrace mediocrity. Just recognize that, you know what? I'm going to suck at this thing. It's okay. The first 100 reps are going to be absolutely god-awful, and that's fine.
If we're worried about what people are going to think about that, that takes us to experiment number five, which is to stop spotlighting.
We're highly attuned to what others think of us. As social creatures, our amygdala is always on the hunt for threats to our status.
But this means that we spend our lives believing a spotlight is always trained on us and that everyone around us is constantly looking at us, analyzing our behaviors, and passing judgment on our worth as human beings.
In a series of papers published in the early 2000s, psychology professor Thomas Gilovich and his co-authors proved time and again that individuals have a remarkable tendency to overestimate the degree to which others are thinking about or judging them.
People are often anxious about how the tiniest details of their actions and appearance are likely to come across to others. The truth is, everyone is concerned mostly about themselves and how they're coming across.
They're not spending much time, if any, thinking about us. What this suggests is that the spotlight effect can be reduced with a simple reminder: no one cares.
When fear is holding you back from doing something, this can be profoundly liberating. No one cares if my first few YouTube videos are terrible and cringey.
No one cares if I write blog posts that are a bit rambly because I haven't had much experience writing. No one cares if I show up to this salsa dancing class as a total beginner without a partner.
No one cares if my belt doesn't match my shoes when I attend this party. This mindset of "no one cares" can be totally transformative.
It's one of the simplest methods I've identified to reduce my own anxiety-related procrastination. Now, I already think of this as the "no one cares" muscle.
The more you do stuff and find that basically no one actually gives a toss, the more you build this muscle of "no one cares," and you no longer struggle with the thought of what other people think of you.
Finally, let's move on to experiment number six: the Batman effect. The Batman effect was first identified by a team of researchers led by Professor Rachel White at the University of Pennsylvania.
White and her team were curious about whether adopting an alter ego could improve a child's approach to a task. The children were given a task that required them to concentrate and resist the temptation to engage in a more enjoyable activity nearby.
One group was given no specific instructions, the second group was asked to reflect on their own feelings and thoughts, and the third group was asked to think of themselves as a superhero or another character they admired.
The children who were asked to imagine themselves as superheroes or other characters exhibited significantly better self-control, focus, and perseverance than those in the other two groups.
When we embody the traits of a fearless, confident alter ego, we can tap into a reservoir of courage and determination that we might not feel our regular selves possess.
I find it particularly handy when it comes to speaking in public. Often, I'm plagued with insecurity and self-doubt, and even though I've been delivering classes and presentations for years, I sometimes feel the fear associated with putting myself out there.
In this context, my alter ego is young Charles Xavier, aka Professor X from the X-Men series. My physical trigger for stepping into the identity of Charles Xavier is when I put on my fake glasses.
That's why I still wear glasses in many public settings, even though I've had laser eye surgery. They help me adopt a professional, intellectual alter ego that I need to overcome the impostor syndrome I often have when giving a speech.
In summary, the solution isn't to get rid of fear; instead, it's to develop the courage to face up to it. That courage comes from three sources.
The first is to understand your fear. Ask yourself, "Why have I not started on that task or project yet? What am I afraid of? Where does this fear come from?"
The second is to reduce your fear. Our fears are often blown out of proportion. Ask yourself these questions to prevent yourself from catastrophizing: Will this matter in 10 minutes? Will this matter in 10 weeks? Will this matter in 10 years?
The third is to overcome your fear. If you're scared of what other people think, remind yourself that most people are not, in fact, thinking about you.
We're a self-conscious species, but we're not usually a judgmental one. By the way, if you haven't yet read the book or listened to the audiobook, I might suggest giving it a go.
It is a very easy listen, and it's got some pretty solid reviews as well. All right, so if you like this video and you'd like to see a similar animated video about the core philosophy behind *Feelgood Productivity*, which would be interesting if you haven't read the book and actually good revision if you have, then check out that video over there.
Thank you very much for watching, and I'll see you hopefully in the next one. Bye-bye!