Transcription
Director of National Defense Tulsi Gabbard has fired more than 100 intelligence officers across 15 agencies for using Intelink, an intelligence community chat system, to discuss kinks, fetishes, sex, and other inappropriate topics. We really just let the freaks have too much of a party. [Music] Folks, it's time to put them back in the corner where they belong. This is going to be a wide array of topics that we're covering. What's next in the dumpster, or more like comster, am I right? No, no, no, don't do that. Don't do that. Don't do that. Don't do that. You got to do that. You ain't got to do that.
I'm Bridget Fety, and this is your Dumpster Fire. Welcome to Dumpster Fire, where we make burgers out of your sacred cows. We launch new episodes every Tuesday and Friday night at 8:00 p.m. Central Time. Please join us in the chat; we are usually there listening to your jokes and also taking suggestions for titles, like last week's "Back to the Pervert Chats." The transcripts from the chats were leaked by a whistleblower to Christopher Rufo. If you want to jerk off to more of this degeneracy, we've linked to the piece in the description below.
Here's just the tip of the iceberg, phrasing of what some of these conversations were like: This is a quote from a trans woman who had gender reassignment surgery in Thailand. "Wearing panties without worrying about anything showing, seeing my reflection in the mirror wearing leggings, but the pee thing is just something I never thought of, but it's really nice. One of the weird things that gives me euphoria is when I pee, I don't have to push anything down to make sure it aims right. Women can't aim, so we don't know what you're talking about. Also gross." Another quote: "I like being penetrated, never liked it before GRS (gender reassignment surgery)." That was really gross. Is this what flirting looks like now? Is this what the kids these days are saying to one another? Just get penetrated in your beeh hole like the good old days.
Poor Tulsi, she comes in and she's like, "So team, what's going on? Are we talking about how they're sleep cells? Are we dealing with Chinese hacking America?" Nope. Her first job is to come in and fire all the perverts—our own internal perverts. These people are mentally ill, and I can say that; I'm mentally ill. They're talking about pee fetishes, getting their tits groped, how they never wear a bra, and how polycules work—on our tax dollar, by the way. This is when I don't care about Doge—fire them all, get rid of them, get it all out of the system. We are paying for this. Look, do whatever you want on your own personal time, I don't care, as long as it doesn't hurt anyone else. But what the [ __ ] are you doing, talking about this on a secure intelligence community chat or whatever? Can you imagine if this is going on at your widget company Slack instead of a chat system linking the NSA, CIA, and DIA (dick and ass—sorry, Defense Intelligence Agency)? Can you imagine? By the way, how easy would it be for a ladyboy to infiltrate the entire defense intelligence system? Clearly quite easy, cuz it seems like that's what's happened all this time. We've been calling them soy boys, but they're actually really ladyboys. Christopher Rufo has exposed the soy boy to ladyboy pipeline that we didn't know was buried deep within our intelligence agencies. By the time this is over, we're going to decide that straight white Christian men are just actually the best in everything. Fck, finally, we're going to be like, "We need more of these straight white Christian men." This is when Bridget is full Christian nationalist. This is going to be the video people point to and they're like, "This is when she became a Christian nationalist."
Look, I'm not going to lie, I missed the good old days when we had some white Republican who visited a glory hole, or some pastor was shacking up with a hooker in a hotel. Like Clinton's Olice BJ seems positively quaint. You know what? China, just come, I'm going to come, just come and take us over. Get it over with. Obviously, it's not going to be that hard to do. A Trump Gaza promotional video is posted on Trump's Truth Social account, and there really are no words; you just have to see it for yourself. "Donald to set you free, bringing the light for all to see, no more tunnels, no more fear, is finally here. Trump Gaza shining bright, golden future, a brand new light, feast and dance, the deal is done. Trump Gaza number one." No wait, I take that back; there are plenty of words. I have actually, I love that Trump is bringing back Christian values by tweeting videos of kids dancing in money and bearded, scantily clad women, golden statues of himself, and a gift shop where you can buy miniature golden Trump statues—literal false idols. It's amazing; we live in a dystopia. And then, of course, there are the random cuts of hot, not-[ __ ]-looking Elon also being showered in money. There's always money just falling everywhere. It's like anywhere Elon goes, money is just raining down around him and the people around him, and it's just hot, not-[ __ ]-looking Elon eating hummus. And I will say the hummus looks amazing. It's also just a hilarious American way of looking at things, turning everything into some Disneyfied Vegas. I do love the golden Trump statue, as it's just so on the nose.
So then, of course, because everything Trump does needs to be covered because he is the president of the United States, we take for granted how weird things are. We've been covering all this stuff forever, and so all of us are just frogs in the boiling water of insanity. So when we talk about weird sex fetishes in the Intel agency chats, it's just a long slippery slope into that that we're like, "Yeah, okay, that seems like inappropriate," and then this stuff with Trump, you're like, "Okay, that's crazy, I guess, but you know he's tweeted other crazy things, so why are we taking him seriously?" And of course, then there's always the CNN panel that needs to break down every single thing Trump does, and they were analyzing this because Trump is a genius. Look at what he does: he tweets a video, and five minutes later they're all talking over each other and screaming at each other about whether he's brilliant or not. "Well, Trump is owning the media, and he's he's brilliant at it. That's what he's doing; he's getting the Democrats…" "I would not call this brilliant. This is not brilliant." "He's brilliant, guys! The evidence is right there in front of you," as you talk over one another. One of the panelists said, "Where are the Palestinians going to go? Does not include a Palestinian state…um…this Pal…where…where are they going to go? I don't know. I watch the video; don't you see them? They're being showered in money and holding golden Trump balloons. Seems like great reality for them in this weird future." It's funny because they post this video and everyone's like, "Um…" Cuz the Trump administration is notoriously anti-trans; clearly, we just covered how they're firing all the transcoders or whatever in our Intel agencies, and not to mention the ban on trans women in sports, etc. And then there are these two bearded dudes with tits in this video. Maybe these are the dudes who worked at the NSA, and now they're in a polycule in Gaza belly dancing on the beach. But wait, if you zoom in, is that a green Hamas headband? It almost looks like it is. Is this what we're going to do? That terrorists, we're going to force them to get gender reassignment surgery and enslave them to belly dance on the beach for the tourists? I mean, it would be the most perfect punishment. It is pretty amazing if that's the plan; I can get behind that phrasing. And I love how it's like Trump with some random lady in the CNN panel: "Where are all the protesters? Where are the college kids? Where are the protesters?" Um, you guys are kind of telling on yourselves; the protesters aren't getting paid anymore. More, that's what happened to all the protesters. We're not going to protest. Also, they just lost the election; this clearly wasn't working. Obviously, none of these protests worked; they lost. And the song is: "So I want to put a version of it in Civil War I, the musical. Donald's coming to set you free, bringing the light for all to see, no more tunnels, no more fear. Trump Gaza is finally here. No more tunnels, no more fear." Wow. And then, of course, it ends with Trump drinking liberal tears with BB on the beach or something. At least they were realistic about Trump's body, like, and BB, they…it's like the…why? For some reason, the most realistic thing about the whole video. I love that the video opens with like the kids running through rubble, through what looks like a tunnel, onto like a reimagined version of Mara Gaza. I definitely think Elon made this cuz he's like super hot in this video and always surrounded by money, and he's like, "Hey, check out what Grok 3 made; you should post it on your Truth Social." Yeah, all I'm saying is this is so much better than the Biden administration. It is so strange that this is where we are now. This season is way more interesting, at least. We have a maniac in charge instead of the half-dead zombie being propped up by everyone around him, instead of a vegetable. Jesus Christ, yeah, I'll take a maniac over a vegetable. Are you guys having fun? Cuz I certainly am.
Before our next segment, don't forget to like, subscribe, touch my bells and buttons. Please help us to reach 100,000 subscribers on YouTube, and you guys have spoken: when we hit 100,000, I will do my best Mexican weather report. Ol, hey, you have to stick around through the ad to see the weather report, guys. Sorry, them's the rules. All this talk about sex has made me think about STD and STI tests for no reason in particular. No one likes to think about STDs, but if you're sexually active, you should be getting routine STD and STI screenings to make sure you and your partner or partners—I'm not here to judge your polycule—are safe and healthy. Now you can skip the doctor and buy your own STD and STI tests online with Quest. QuestHealth.com offers comprehensive STD panels and individual STI screenings with several collection methods. It's as easy as purchasing a test from QuestHealth.com and visiting a nearby Quest Diagnostics location for sample collection; no doctor's visit required, which is the way it should be. Your results are delivered online quickly and discreetly. STD testing with Quest keeps your results off your insurance. Visit QuestHealth today. Use the code FIRE (because it burns when you pee at it—just kidding). Use the code FIRE to get 25% off and find answers to the multitude of health questions you may have. That's QuestHealth.com, and use the code FIRE for 25% off. Link is in the description below. Now let's check the weather with Jackie Guarito. [Music] Thank you, Jackie.
This fckn California governor, Gavin Newsom, is launching a podcast called "This is Gavin Newsom." "We need to change the conversation, and that's why I'm launching a new podcast, and this is going to be anything but the ordinary politician podcast." Oh my God, I'm a douchebag. Um, bro, half your state just burned down; shouldn't you be too busy governing to launch a fckn podcast? Am I crazy? Am I the only one who thinks that this seems wildly inappropriate given that your state has been on fire for months? Yeah, like you're the governor of California, one of the largest economies in the world. How do you have time to have a fckn podcast? I love that the left is finally discovering heterodox podcasts. "I'm going to be talking to people directly that I disagree with, Lial to, as well as people I look up to, but more important than anything else, I'll be talking directly with you, the listener." Oh, we're going to go talk to people we disagree with—a novel concept the rest of us have been doing for decades. What a revolutionary idea. They kept saying there's not a Trump on the left; this guy is the Trump of the left. You will see it someday. And I love how he's like, "I'm not going to be talking with politicians; it's going to be talking with people like you and people who…who don't agree with me." And like, Gavin Newsom does this all the time; he's one of the people who's most guilty of this. I love when insiders pretend they're the outsiders. "Look, there's an onslaught of information that we take in, so let's take it to the sources without the typical political mumbo jumbo. It's not going to be any of that political mumbo jumbo, you know what I mean?" Yeah, okay, Gavin Newsom, what are you talking about? You are the man. We've talked about this on this podcast before. For Gavin Newsom makes me embarrassed to have a podcast. If anything has become clear this week, it's that podcasts have peaked. It's over, folks; we're done. He's trying to do damage control and salvage his career because California is a disaster zone, and then his best idea is to start a podcast. Who is advising this guy? Clearly no one. He's just looking at himself in a mirror going, "Hey, you know how you have your city burn down? You should start a podcast." I think I feel like he does this a lot in the mirror: "You should start a podcast." How do people not see this guy is a scumbag just by looking at him? He looks like he's full of [ __ ]. We have talked about this many times on this podcast: the tribalism breaks people's brains and re…and somehow it disables their ability to see when someone is full of sh[ __ ], like Andrew Tate. The Matrix has attacked me. These guys look like they're completely full of [ __ ]. I don't need to be in any tribe to be able to point that out and see it, right? Andrew Tate, Russell Brand, Gavin Newsom…Russell Brand scumbag detectors are broken. Hello, I'm just back from Narnia. Your scumbag detectors are broken, folks. Go back. If you can't see it from all sides, if you can't see that there's Nims to the left of me, Tates to the right, here I am stuck in the middle with you, and I'm wondering what it is I should do. Probably get a gun or two, cuz there's sexual predators all around you. I don't know if Gavin Newsom is, but he does have that vibe. And why does he always sound like he's trying to do an RFK Jr. impression? What's going on with the cost of eggs? Can you explain your voice? His voice is like so scr…it's like clear your throat, or maybe it's just that he's hor…from all the smoke he's been inhaling from a state-breaking…
Bridget, after vigorously defending Joe Biden and ranting at Lara Trump for saying that Biden appeared to have cognitive decline, "It's very clearly a cognitive decline; that's what I'm referring to. It makes me uncomfortable to watch somebody on stage…so amazing…it's so amazing to me that…and try and figure out an answer…cognitive decline…you're trying to tell me that what I was suggesting was mocking his stutter." CNN anchor Jake Tapper has co-authored a book with Alex Thompson called *Original Sin: President Biden's Decline, Its Cover-Up, and His Disastrous Choice to Run Again*. I am going to lose my mind; I'm as mad as hell, and I'm not going to take this anymore. I don't even really know where to begin other than to tell you that this might be the thing. Every week I'm like, "This might be the thing that finally breaks me." First of all, the hero disease among these people is unreal. "Look what I've heroically covered…he was complicit in this cover-up…all of these people were…" What…what are you talking…I can't even speak. How hard was the research for this book? Did he just look at his own emails and text messages with people? "I uncovered my own emails with the White House and other journalists, politicians, and aides also complied in this cover-up. This was the easiest research in the world for any kind of book." And by the way, there's been many instances of the people who are involved in this book covering up for this administration. A year ago, Robert Hur declined to prosecute Biden over his alleged mishandling of classified documents because his cognitive decline was so bad, apparently no jury would have convicted him. This got kind of ignored by everyone, and how bad is that? That he wouldn't have been found fit to stand trial, and he was the president of the United States, and no one in the mainstream media thought to make a big deal out of that. None of these people were sounding any alarms about a constitutional crisis. Then nobody was ringing any bells and saying, "Hey, if this guy isn't fit to stand trial, should he have the [ __ ] nuclear codes?" We have long said this is one of the greatest scandals of our time, and everyone in that administration and left-wing media in particular is complicit. Jake Tapper passed off his decline as a stutter until he couldn't anymore. Maggie knows this. I was obsessed the night of the debate after Biden fell apart, and then I was watching everybody in the mainstream media—CNN, MSNBC—absolutely melt down. It started with the first couple of answers, and it continued throughout the night, from a "Oh my God, oh my God, oh my God" to "What do we do about this?" Biden's answers were, in a lot of cases, not coherent. Van Jones was crying, and they were not necessarily upset about Joe Biden; they were upset that they were [ __ ] busted. There have been anecdotes that they're mad at the White House for allowing him to go out and do that because it made them all look so bad because they'd all been lying for this administration and covering it up. The fact that Biden had no cards with pictures of journalists to call on and the pre-selected questions they would ask and his pre-selected answers isn't in that book. I don't want to [ __ ] hear about it. They had stage directions on his note cards, like, "You take your seat," step-by-step instructions for everything, like walking into a room and sitting down. To make all of it worse, this is not only insane that they're coming out and being like, "We can't believe who did this; we're going to uncover it," anyone who was called out and was uncovering it in real time and saying, "Hey, our president is in freaking very clear mental decline," was told that they were a right-wing conspiracy theorist. And now Jake Tapper and Pa[ __ ] about it. I feel like I'm taking crazy pills. Where are our apologies? Where are the apologies to the people that they slandered and defamed as freaking right-wing nut jobs for daring to point this out? Not just other people in journalism, but average Americans who could see with their own eyes. We were called right-wing extremists for even pointing that out in 2020. No apology; no one's going to take any…any sense of responsibility for the fact that they just went along with all of this until they couldn't and then slandered anybody who said anything that went against that narrative. And now they're acting like they're going to uncover…now they're going to make money…I'm uncovering it…they're cashing in…being outrageous…it's outrageous. It is; I am…I am outraged. There will be no punishment; there's no consequences. Look, we are a joke news show, and we try to be as factually accurate as possible, just because I care. I care; I have my opinions about the news; we kind of flim-flam back and forth between joking and…and covering serious things like this, but these are actual journalists getting paid millions of dollars to report to the American people what is going on in our administrations, and they cannot…there is no accountability. You can be as shameless as you want to be, as partisan as you want to be, you can lie…CNN has been sued for defamation for getting these stories wrong, and they have no…no sense of shame. It's…I could be so rich. How are we better than journalists at our job? Like if you didn't see that as a journalist, you were willfully ignoring it, or you are [ __ ]; you shouldn't be a journalist. Little kids could see that. It does seem like the media is filled with shameless psychopaths and…and politicians. Kari Lake though is loving this because they need the story of 2024 to be the story of Biden's failure, not commas, so she can run for governor in California and probably win. Whatever you have coming, California, you deserve it. Okay, who would be worse as governor of California: Kari Lake or Gavin Newsom? It's the same; it's the same destructive ideology with a different skin suit. This guy's really into skin. Thank you for letting me get that all off my chest.
Fantasy News Fety News. If you love Dumpster Fire, the best thing you can do is become a supporter at fy.com and tell one person about us. I think that word-of-mouth references are still the most powerful. You get the unedited version of this Dumpster Fire at fy.com, and we leave a lot of inappropriate things on the cutting-room floor, and you also get access to everything else we're doing, and it's a lot because we're psycho. Join us right here on YouTube every Tuesday and Friday night at 8:00 p.m. Central Time for a new Dumpster Fire. We always do a live chat, and it's hilarious, and you guys…thank you for showing up; we appreciate your time, and we never take it for granted. We moved; welcome off this YouTube channel, so please everyone run over there after this and go subscribe to our new YouTube channel, Walkins Welcome with Bridget Fety. There's a link in the description so it's easy for you. We had James Lindsay on last week; we have so many cool people coming. Thank you to everyone who helps make Dumpster Fire possible; you guys make it possible by subscribing to fossey.com. Thank you to Quest for sponsoring today's episode, so go get your STD test or whatever other tests you need; they have a lot. Thank you to our supporters, subscribers; we love you. Thank you, Maggie. Thank you, Bridget. And now to cleanse your palette: the internet is glorious. Wow. Wellow. Wow. Look who's come crawling back. Had enough of her? Spike in your glucose? Have you? I should have known what you were up to from the start, all them years ago. Stopped ordering me in osta; started ordering her instead. I thought it was just a phase; she'll get over it. He dabbled before in almond milk, even though we all know it tastes like [ __ ]. Then you started only using me in your cereal. I thought that's OD, not even gracing me with a cup of tea. And then you moved her into the fridge, and that one day I was nearly running out, and you didn't replace me. That's when I knew. Remember, guys, life is absurd. Clearly, don't take yourself so damn seriously. Take the work seriously; don't take yourself seriously. This has been your Dumpster Fire. I'm Bridget Fety. Now make me rich so I can visit Gaza. I…I said it. I said it when he…right before he got elected. I said, "I know these guys are going to have me doing yoga on a beach in Gaza, drinking a juice…like four years…drinking a mocktail, eating hummus, and being showered by money and the Unicorn [Music] dance spread face," but my lost onto self SA.