Transcription
When I meet with strangers, I find it really difficult to come up with questions to ask them. Well, that to me really is just a question of preparation. Instead of leaving it to chance and going in hoping that when I meet someone for the first time, I'm going to be able to come up with questions to ask them, I suggest having a list of five questions that you keep in your back pocket.
Be prepared. They say that luck is defined by when preparation meets opportunity. So instead of just hoping you're going to be lucky when you meet someone and come up with the right questions, prepare to be lucky every time you meet someone. That way, you have the questions in your back pocket and you can pull them out at a moment's notice.
I can share with you some of mine, and depending on your comfort level in social situations, your list of questions might be different, and that's okay. The first one is super easy; everyone does it. "Hey, how you going?" You know that by asking that, most likely the person is just going to say, "Yeah, yeah, good. I'm doing well. How are you going?"
You can have a planned response: "Oh, thanks for asking! You know, one of the most exciting things that happened to me today is XYZ." All of a sudden, you've got the conversation kind of going. Depending on how comfortable you are, I've got a few more that I'd love to share with you.
One that I absolutely love asking people, because I'm a bit of a foodie, is if I'm meeting someone, even if it's in the elevator: "Hey, how you going?" "Good, how you going?" "Yeah, doing well. Quick question: you got to tell me, have you been to a restaurant that's really good nearby? I'm a massive foodie and I'm just trying to explore some new restaurants. Have you been to a good restaurant lately?"
All of a sudden, we can start talking, and if they do know of a good restaurant, I win. If not, it's okay; I get to practice my small talk. Another one of my favorites, as well, depends on your level of comfort.
So if I'm going to be sitting with someone on the bus and we're sitting with each other for the next 15 minutes, I'll just start with the classic, "How you going?" Get the conversation going, and then just go, "Hey, we're going to be here for 15 minutes anyway. I'm curious, what's something interesting that's happened to you in the last 3-4 weeks?"
Try it before you judge it. Some of you are sitting there going, "Ah, no, that feels too weird." It's weird for you; it's not weird for me. Another one is, "What are you looking forward to the most in the next 12 months? For the rest of this year, what are you really looking forward to?"
Another one that I would tend to go to is, "Hey, I'm always looking to learn. What's the best piece of advice you've been given in the last 12 months?"
And then the final one, if I really want to get to know the person, I find that the best way to get to know someone is not really asking, "Hey, what job do you do?" I find it's way better, if you want to get to know someone, to ask them this question: "Hey, what do you do in your free time?"
You learn so much more about a person by understanding what they do in their free time than by asking about their profession. So when I meet new people, I always lead in with very easy and opening questions like, "How's your day going?" "Hey, how are you?" And then I take it further. Depending on my mood, I choose my own adventure with the questions that I'm going to ask.