Transcription
Hi guys, it's been a while and I'm so sorry about not posting podcast, but here I am. Here I am again with you guys. And um, I've been thinking a lot about what topic would be really nice to talk in podcast. I thought maybe I can share my thoughts that I have these days. And yeah, so the topic is why do I feel lonely even though I like being alone? Ooh.
Um, for the people who loves to be alone and they enjoy, actually really enjoy being alone, I don't think they will have this problem. But I'm a people person. For I'm, I'm 100% sure I'm a people person, but since I'm a YouTuber, because I work from home, I work by myself most of the time. Time to time I feel like I feel lonely. So yeah, I've been actually questioning about this for a while. And today I want to talk to you guys about this issue.
I am your host Kimberly and today we're diving into a topic that hits home for a lot of us. Why do I feel lonely even though I like being alone? If this sounds familiar to you, yeah, same for me. You know, I've always been someone who loves spending time alone. Give me a quiet room, a good book, some coffee. Actually, I'm having one right now. And and I feel like I'm in heaven. No small talk, no social pressure, no pretending to be on. But then there are those nights, the ones where you've had all the lonely time you could possibly want and suddenly you feel empty, like something's missing. And you ask yourself, "Wait, I thought I liked being alone. So, why do I feel this way or why do I feel this lonely?" Well, let's break it down.
There's a difference between being alone and feeling lonely. Being alone is a physical state. No one else is around you. So, you're basically just alone in your house, in your room, in your office, something like that. But loneliness, loneliness, that's emotional. So that's the inner problem that we have. It's the feeling of disconnected. So even, you know, I think there are some times where I feel even though I'm surrounded by people, I'm with so many people, I still feel lonely. I think quite a lot of people have felt this way. So as I explained, you can be in a crowded room and still feel lonely or be by yourself and feel totally content. So, when you say, "I like being alone," what you really might mean is, "I like being with myself, but I still want to feel connected in some way."
Well, there's this quote that I love. It says, "I'm not antisocial. I'm selectively social. There's a difference." And that's exactly it. People who enjoy solitude often choose to be alone. But choosing solitude doesn't mean we are immune to loneliness. It just means we value deeper connections, not more of them. Let me give you an example. Imagine going days without texting anyone, not seeing friends, not having real conversations. At first, it feels peaceful, but slowly your brain starts to crave belonging. Not noise, not parties, just the simple feeling of being seen, heard, and understood. You don't want to be surrounded by people. You just want to feel like you matter to someone. And that's, I don't think that's a weakness. Yeah, that's not a weakness. It's being human. We're human beings. And sometimes I think we confuse independence with isolation. Yes. Mhm. We can take care of ourselves. Yes, we don't need constant company to feel whole, but we are still wired for connection. Even introverts, that's what I think. Even the fiercely independent ones and even you. And maybe that's the hardest part to admit.
So, what can we do about it? I mean, on the bottom line, that's what we want to know. Like, what can we do about this, right? Well, here are a few things that help me when the quiet starts to feel too quiet. The very first one is check in with someone. A quick voice note, a short call, even a meme, just something to say, "Hey, I exist and I'm thinking of you. I'm here. Talk to me." So you're kind of telling them in a way that, ah, I need someone to talk right now.
Moving on to number two, create, don't consume. H, you might think, oh, what, what does she mean by this? Hm, I'll tell you. So when I feel lonely, mindless scrolling makes it worse. Believe me, it's going to make you feel worse about it. But creating something, it can be journaling, uh, listening to music, painting, or anything that can help. I think those help me reconnect with myself. I already mentioned for the very first tip how I feel, uh, kind of connected to people is through talking to my friends, talking to people that I really care about. But I think it's also really important to make yourself lovable to yourself. Often times we forget how precious, how great we are to ourselves. So yeah, these days I'm really working on loving myself, which I know it sounds cheesy, it sounds lame, I hate talking about this, but this is true. You really have to know yourself better to be able to have a better relationship, better connection, and better communication with other people. I think it's really one of the most important things um that we have to do, but often we forget about it.
Last but not least, number three is let yourself feel it. I know. I know this is hard because the reason why we scroll Instagram, watch all the weird videos on YouTube is because you want to be included. You want to be connected, but you have to let yourself feel it. That's the, that's the bottom line. Um, so what I want to say is don't rush to escape the loneliness. Sometimes sitting with it, naming it, and understanding where it's coming from is the most powerful thing you can do. So just let it be. Let yourself feel all the solitude. Let yourself be lonely, as people say. Yes. So yeah, let yourself feel it. Um, the process of it. I, I, I don't want to say it's going to be easy, but it's a quality time that you definitely need to spend um, for yourself. So, don't rush it. Never rush yourself. Just let yourself know better about yourself. And you know, there is no shame in wanting connection. It doesn't make you needy. It just means you're alive. So the next time you feel that ache, that little nudge in your chest, don't ignore it. Reach out or at least, very least, reach inward because sometimes the connection you need the most is with yourself. Yes.
Well, thank you for hanging out with me today. If this episode resonated with you, I'd love to hear your thoughts. You can leave a comment about how you felt after hearing this or if you actually feel um, loneliness because I'm a person who feels loneliness quite often. I'm really working on this. I'm really working on this. And if you enjoyed this podcast, don't forget to subscribe, share, and leave a comment. Well, take care of yourself and remember, alone doesn't mean lonely. You're never as alone as you think. Okay. Bye bye.