Transcription
Anybody you can emotionally control, anybody you can emotionally affect, you have them in your pocket, right? To one degree or another, you can emotionally control somebody. I'll tell you who's excellent at this: women. Women are fantastic at this. If a woman realizes she can piss you off with X thing, she'll notice it. She'll keep it in her pocket. You know what that noise in cool? Sorry, baby. Sorry. Three weeks later, two months later, they, they realize when you're vulnerable.
I can tell you this. I can tell you the experience from fighting. When I was fighting, I was a kickboxing world champion, right? I never made millions for fighting. Kickboxing is not that big a sport, 10 years ago, even UFC wasn't as big as it is now. So I was making money, but I mean, I was probably fighting two or three times a year, and most ever got paid was 150 grand a flight. So I was kind of normal life. And whichever girlfriend I had at the time, no matter what, she always managed to start some asinine, stupid, immature fight with me like three days before a fight. Because I'm white, drained, I haven't eaten, I'm nervous, I can't sleep. I've been training for [ __ ] 10 weeks. This monster's from Kazakhstan, some psycho. I have to fly over to elsewhere and Tishkak Bishkak to fight him. And now she's like, "You don't have the toilet seat." I'm like, "The [ __ ] toilet seat?" I'm like, "Why? He can kill me." But she knew that's when I was weak. She knew it. And that's when you could be emotional. But they detect it. This is when I can get it right. Because the rest of the time, to talk about the goddamn toilet. Because if I say toilet seat any other time, his answer is, "Go home and just come here. Go home. Then go toilet at home. Bye." No, I don't want to go. No, now I actually want you to go home. Please leave my house. Well, I didn't want to leave. Bye. Goodbye. [ __ ] you. Next. Next girl.
So they get you in your week, right? And anyone who can emotionally control you and emotionally affect you has power over you. So if I say, "All five wives an offend," this goes, "Five wives. I'm fat. I'm fat. I'm fat." I'll sit there and just, "Yeah, but obviously a lot of food needs cooking, so she needs help." And I'll just say, "[ __ ]". But but that's because they make it too easy. Yeah, they give. If you're gonna give, if you're playing chess and you hang a piece, I'm gonna snap it up. You're gonna leave, you're gonna leave your work, you're right hanging. Thank you very much, sir. Bam. That's the thing. That's the game.
So yeah, you're completely right. I do instigate to a degree because they make it so [ __ ] easy to win. It's so easy for me to win debates against people because they get so pissed off with what I say. Another thing, and I'll give the game away. I'll give the game away to the entire YouTube world. Why I've destroyed absolutely everybody in any debate ever. I say things that they know are true and that they agree with, but I say in a way that angers them emotionally, and they get caught up in their brain because they're saying, "He's saying the truth, but I'm pissed off by how he's saying it. So I want to argue with him, but he's right." So instead of saying, "Men are physically stronger than women," I'll say, "Females are weak. Females are weak. Well, females are weak. Females are weak. Men are strong. Females are weak." No, but females. But I'm right. And he knows I'm right, but he's mad now. And so is she. And they sit there, and you'll happen to have it on day Fortnite. You end up having a whole group of people sitting there trying to argue. Well, some women are strong like men, trying to argue the fact that women are as strong as men physically. Because I've emotionally controlled them all and upset them all. And then I do a podcast and I get billions and millions of views and unlimited likes against good debaters like Dave and his little crew by just emotionally controlling them. It's an emotional game.
I reckon I've never given this game away before anywhere, but this is what I do. I sit there and I say something they know is true in a way they can't agree with it, and I can control them all because they're stupid. If I was me, I'd be like, "Yeah, okay. I perhaps I don't like the way you phrased it, but you're very, you're very true." That takes into life. People are emotional. So this is why I wreck all of them. And you're right, I poke them on purpose. And it makes it very difficult to argue with me, especially if they agree with what I'm saying, but they don't like the way it's being set. That's where you'll see the full breakdowns, the full mental breakdown in regards to emotion.
Before I came to Value Team, and this is three years ago, Pat said, "I want you to read a book." Because it's called, uh, Meditations by Marcus Aurelius. Stoicism. You've referenced stoicism multiple times. Not getting an emotional, thinking rational. This was a book that you've subscribed to for for years. What is it about stoicism and not getting caught up in emotions and even triggering emotions that resonates with you?
Well, emotions are feedback. The idea that men don't feel emotions is incorrect. We feel emotions. I would actually argue we feel emotions and certain with certain emotions stronger than women. I would argue that we feel heartbreaks stronger than women. I would argue we feel anger like a woman could never understand. I would argue we are extremely emotional. Right, right. Pure rage. It's feedback. So when you get the feedback, it's all about how you internalize that and how you process it, right? It's having stoicism is not not feeling emotions. It's feeling the emotion and going, "Okay, why is this happening? How much does this really matter? What's the most intelligent move on the chessboard?" I'm not even that good at chess, right? My father was a grandmaster. I'm, I'm like 1800 Euro. I'm okay. I was a child chess prodigy, but I stopped playing chess professionally when I was like eight. So I'm as good now as I was. In fact, I'm worse now than when I was eight because I've never, I've never taken any lessons or anything properly since because my mother and father broke up. We moved to England. My dad stayed in America. Lost my chess coach. And England didn't have a chess infrastructure. America had a chess infrastructure in the lower income schools. My dad used to go to the ghetto schools because he was black, go to the black schools and teach them how to play chess. So we had a big infrastructure. I picked the eight. Yeah, but um, chess is a fantastic game because in the game of chess, there's no miss. There's no luck. If you lose, no matter how well you play, if you lose, at some point you made a mistake. Even it's the most minor mistake, you made a mistake. So you learn to understand that no matter what happens to you, if you lose a scenario, you made a mistake. Maybe it's a tiny one, maybe it was two years ago, whatever, but you made a mistake. And you learn absolutely not our accountability for yourself. That mentality is extremely powerful to apply to all things in life.
The position I'm in now is the most hated man in the world. Although I agree and I truly believe it's unfair, I still take complete responsibility for. I'm not gonna sit here and say I'm telling you why it happened when I talk about TikTok and YouTube Shorts, but I'm not gonna blame them. Absolutely. There are a company making money and they're monetizing the best they can. Fantastic. All of this is my fault. But the Bugatti on my drive is my fault. And the yacht is my fault. The private jet's mindful. So it's all my fault. So I take the good with the bad. I take all responsibility for absolutely everything, including if a woman leaves me, if a woman stays, if I end up heartbroken, if I end up filled with rage. I take responsibility for that. Something happens to me that makes me enraged, I will take responsibility. Why has this happened to me? Why do I feel this way? How did I end up in this position? Is this healthy in this scenario? And sometimes it is. I've had scenarios in my life where I was prepared to die to protect somebody else, and I was enraged, and it was healthy. I've also had times where I'm in a room by myself, enraged, sitting there going, "This is no good for anybody. Why did you just calm the [ __ ] down?"
So emotions are feedback, but stoicism is the ability to process them. And that's what you need to be learned as a man. You're never going to be able to turn them off. You're going to feel them. You have to learn how to turn, you have to learn how to process them and turn them into a positive. It's energy. It's unlimited energy. I say this all the time. I say that the biggest periods of transformation in my life is when everything was going wrong. When my life was going good, it's, I'm not a hedonistic person. I don't do drugs. I don't gamble. I don't do prostitutes. I don't do anything that hedonistic. But I'll certainly go on a bunch of women I know and chill and have some vlog codes and that kind of thing. When life's smooth, that's then it's semi-hedonistic, pretty relaxed. But when I make my biggest progress, when I really change who I am and change the world, that's when everything's when things go wrong, or I'm feeling things I don't want to feel, or bad things are happening. That's what I'm like, "Okay, I concur. I currently cannot sleep. I've completed the day's tasks. I've tried to go to bed. I can't sleep." That's when the amazing things happen in my life. When I was heartbroken, when I was, whenever everyone's been harboring, I can't remember a specific example. I hit the gym harder, right? If something goes wrong with your payment processor, that's when you get [ __ ] invented. That's that's business, right? That's when you get invented. So all the bad things that happen to you as a man, if you're stoic, you get to take unlimited energy. Heartbreak is unlimited energy. So is depression. So is rage. So is sadness. All these negative emotions, they tell you to collapse behind it. It's like people talk like, uh, Bruce Lee says, "Be like water." And people see that as be fluid and just go with the flow. I disagree. If you're like water, you are, you're necessary for life. You are scary when you're enraged. You're powerful. You're beautiful when you're calm. You're so many things when you're like water, right? So if I'm enraged, it's like water behind a dam. You just gotta put the dam in for in place and you go get the turbo, the hydroelectrics put in. Don't salami your life. You can put the energy somewhere. And this is the most beautiful thing about it because people message me all the time like, "Oh, but hey, you don't know how sad I feel." No, incorrect. I know exactly how sad you feel. The difference is I used it. And you're sitting here still crying some random guy on email for the third month in a row. That's the difference between you and me, my friend.
I was becoming a world champion kickboxer. I got to a point and do it. I, people are often talked about depression. Say I don't understand it. I will say, listen, there's been times in my life where I was fully functional as an adult. I would never label myself depressed because I don't believe in the idea of labeling myself in a negative because I don't believe in things that take power from me, which we'll talk about in a second. But there's been times in my life where I didn't give a fake if I lived to die. The times in my life where I went to fight a man for money and I didn't give a [ __ ] if I, if I lost and even woke up again, didn't get. I had nothing worth living for. I was broke. Didn't have a girlfriend. Didn't have any [ __ ] money. Got two day call to fight some world champion. I had to lose 10 kilos in two days. Had nothing else going for me. Got on a plane to Dagestan and [ __ ] won. There's been times I've done that. By all conventional wisdom, I was depressed. I was suicidal. But I was just like, "No, I don't give that. And that. And that's when I was at my most powerful." Now that I get that call, I'm like, "Bro, I got a new car outside. How much money now?" But back then I was like, "Yeah, cool. Who is he? Oh, this guy. All right, fine." I didn't, I didn't give a f. I was most powerful when I was sad, when I was depressed, when all these things. And and the difference was the framing. It was the framing of it.
Is that yeah, you know, you know where you take me to? You take me to Tom Cruise with Matt Lauer. And there, I don't know if you've seen this or not, where Tom Cruise on Matt Lauer when he's freaking out. Tom Cruise is a no, no, that's that's Ellen DeGeneres. This is Tom Cruise, Matt Lauer. And you know, Tom is a Scientologist who does not believe in medication. He does not believe in taking, you know, antidepressants. He doesn't believe in Ritalin. He doesn't believe in any of that stuff. I don't know where you stand with this medication stuff. He's not for it. And Matt Lauer saying, "What's wrong if this helped that Brook Shields? What's wrong if this helps out?" He says, "You don't realize what this is doing. This is ruining their lives. This is not helping them. Do you realize how many different countries this is illegal in? Do you realize that Ritalin is only legal in a couple different countries? It's not many countries. It's not a legal drug in other places. It's legal." And he's explaining this. And believe it or not, afterwards, they pinned Tom Cruise to be a, you know, almost an [ __ ] like a misogynist. Like, of course, what does it matter with the insensitive? You're not passionate. You're not somebody that cares about another person. Years later, Tom Cruise looks like the hero. But in the heat of the moment, he didn't come up really good, right?
So we're living in an era where you're right, a part of it and say, "You're not feeling that. You're depressed. Take two of these. See what happens to you." It's the hero's arc. And this is the thing. This is why what I'm saying when people say, "You don't know, you don't know how it feels to be depressed." To say, "Yes, I do. The difference is how it's analyzing." I always argue this two ways as well. When depressed people come to me, because one of my most famous things, people attack me for, is their little quote is they say, "You said depression isn't real. What about the men who kills himself? You don't care about men's mental health." We've already discussed how I care more about men's mental health than these people who pretend they do. The first thing I say, I didn't say depression isn't real. I said feeling depressed is real. But the idea that depression is going to strike you in your mind and there's nothing you can do about it, I think that is promoting helplessness amongst depressed people. And that's the reason they kill themselves. I don't think that making people helpless in an unfortunate situation is a great thing to do. You have to give people hope. And I explained that when you believe in something, you give it power. So I tried to say that when I fell at my lowest and I achieved the most I've ever achieved in my life, the reason I was capable of doing that is because I didn't believe in the paradigm of being a depressed person. I just believed that this is how I currently feel and [ __ ] it, I'm going to do whatever it takes to get my life to be better. And I gave a very simple example, an analogy. I said, if you take two people, one believes in ghosts and one doesn't. You put them both in haunted houses. And in the middle of the night, there's a bat. The person who believes in ghosts is now terrifying. There's a ghost. They're calling an exorcist. They're panicking in the room. They're hiding. The person who doesn't believe in ghosts, scouts, wind, and goes back to sleep.