Anima & Animus: The Two Forces Shaping Your Personality

The reason Punch is popular is not for one reason. Punch activates multiple psychological drives within us. Punch is cute. So if you look at human beings, we've evolved to think babies are incredibly cute. Oh my god, poor W baby. We feel so much compassion for winter to baby Punch.

Second reason, this is a little bit darker. Punch is us. So let's understand the story of Punch. A little baby who through no fault of his own was ostracized, kicked out, rejected by his own mother. Punch falls in love with a stuffed animal. He's always turning to the stuffed animal for comfort. Does that sound like any generation that we know? Can you think of anyone who's doing that? Can you feel what Punch feels? Being ostracized by your community, being left out in the cold and turning to something like an inanimate object like AI or video games or pornography for comfort. Does that reflect us in multiple psychological drives within us?

Punch is cute. So if you look at human beings, we've evolved to think babies are incredibly cute. Oh my god, poor W to baby. We feel so much compassion for W to baby Punch. Second reason, this is a little bit darker. Punch is us. So let's understand the story of Punch. A little baby who through no fault of his own was ostracized, kicked out, rejected by his own mother. Punch falls in love with a stuffed animal. He's always turning to the stuffed animal for comfort. Does that sound like any generation that we know? Can you think of anyone who's doing that? Can you feel what Punch feels? Being ostracized by your community, being left out in the cold and turning to something like an inanimate object like AI or video games or pornography for comfort. Does that reflect us in some way? So, we empathize with Punch. We are Punch.

But it gets a little bit darker than that. So, this is something called reaction formation. Reaction formation is a psychological defense mechanism where we take something that is bad within us and transmute it into something good. I think the reason we all love Punch is because we are subconsciously identifying with Punch's mom. I know you're a really good person. You don't do this to people, right? You don't ostracize people. And if you ostracize people, you have a damn good reason. So, we're going to run two little experiments. Imagine what is in Punch's mom's mind. Do you think that Punch's mom in their monkey brain has a good reason to ostracize Punch? Is Punch's mom justified in her mind to reject her child? And if you've had a narcissistic parent, you know the answer to this. The answer is always yes.

The second more disturbing experiment that we can run, take the video Punch and send it to someone who ostracizes others, who victim blames, despite the fact that this person does the same damn thing. Watch them express abundance of compassion. Oh my god, the world is so cruel. It's so terrible that they're doing this to Punch when they are doing it themselves. So, here's the thing. Reaction formation is completely subconscious. When we ostracize someone, that negativity that we have, we have to turn into kindness somewhere else. If this is all subconscious and if people don't realize why they really love Punch, do you fall into that category, too?

So if you take every human who has depression, every human who has anxiety, what you discover is that they spend time inside their head more so than the average person who does not have depression, does not have anxiety. You guys know how people say ignorance is bliss and you know how there's like stupid people out there and the reason they're they're so happy is because they lack the intellectual capacity to have existential dread. And there's data to support this. There's a lot of data that shows that the higher your IQ is, the more likely you are to be depressed. Insight trial is a great example that shows that rapid insight, understanding the severity of your situation, correlates with suicidality. So, there's people out there who are like dumb and happy. Part of the reason for that is because they do not internalize. They're like D. They're like kind of like bots. They're like, "Hello." Like I'm I'm envisioning like oblivion NPCs where you like walk up to them and it's like they have no internal environment, right? They're like oblivion NPCs. They just say the same thing over and over again and like and that's because they don't internalize. If you over internalize, you are prone to depression. You are prone to anxiety.

So I love this clip. I've worked with a couple of Olympic athletes. So Olympic athletes figure out this kind of stuff. And the fun thing about Eileen's perspective is that she's sort of on the money. Her concept is completely correct, but her mechanism actually is completely wrong.

"This isn't supposed to be a rude question. Do you think before you speak because you answer questions so quickly and so comprehensively? Take us into your brain?"

"I'm an introspective young woman. Like, I spend a lot of time in my head. I journal a lot. I break down all of my thought processes. I think I apply a very analytical lens to my own thinking because it's so interesting. You can control what you think. Like, you can control how you think. And therefore you can control who you are."

So she believes that you can control your thoughts. That's actually not technically true. You cannot control your thoughts. She controls the way that she responds to her thoughts. So when she was 8 years old, she had all kinds of thoughts over the last 14 years. And the way that she has responded to her thoughts has determined what kind of thoughts will show up in the future. The way that I think about this is like a garden. You cannot create a garden. All you can do is weed out the bad thoughts and cultivate the good thoughts.

So, here's a really simple thing that you can try. The next time you are going to bed at night, your mind will generate thoughts of all of the stuff that I have to do tomorrow. You can choose to respond to that thought by saving it for tomorrow. Where your mind says, "Oh, we can do this later." Notice how you are cultivating procrastination. Or what you can do is get out of bed right now and do that thing. But if you're super clever, when I made the suggestion that you get out of bed and do it right now, your mind will generate another thought which is, "Oh, the thing that I was thinking about literally cannot be done at night." And how convenient that your mind tells you to do things at night which cannot be done. Instead of thinking about all the stuff that you could be doing right now, it selects the things that are impossible to do. How convenient for your mind's desire for laziness.

So the basic problem that most men have is that since we are numbing ourselves from our emotions, our emotions are programming us in ways that are maladaptive. And then once I have all of this maladaptive programming of I'm avoiding this, I'm running away from that. I'm not motivated, then I try to use all of these compensatory mechanisms like willpower and habit and taking magnesium at night and using all these supplements. I'm trying to do all this stuff to overcome myself. So, here's what I found as a psychiatrist. That is so hard. I've told you guys I am lazy. I'm still lazy. I've always be lazy. I will always be lazy. You don't need to work hard. You don't need to have willpower. I also have terrible habits. What I find is the most useful thing is to reprogram yourself. And once your default programming changes, then your life becomes way easier. Imagine for a moment that if you did not feel avoidance for asking someone out on a date, if you did not feel avoidance for asking for a promotion, right? If you didn't have those negative emotions, imagine how free your life would be. Discipline and willpower and habit to overcome yourself. Oh my god, it's so much work. I hate that crap. I don't know if this makes sense, but we are so concerned about overcoming our instinctual desires, what feels natural to us. That's why we're habits, willpower, discipline, because we need to overcome the stuff that's down here. And why is that so important for men, right? Why are we the ones that are obsessed with this? Because if you know how to emotionally process, you don't need willpower or I mean, you still do on some level, but like you need a lot less of it, right? So, if I can alter the way that my emotional experiences program my brain, my need for willpower to overcome that programming goes way down.

"Do you think that a lot of the attention on, you know, muscle building, on looks maxing is actually just a safer discussion for young males? They can talk about, you know, trying to get body fat percentages or they're doing like mewing for their jaw or something. I have a feeling there's a lot more going on. The best way to run away from an unsolvable problem is to solve something else. Like here's the the thing about looks maxing. Getting somebody else to fall in love with me. Like that's so hard. I don't even know where to start. I don't even like myself. How am I supposed to get somebody else to fall in love with me? When I look in the mirror, I see disgust. I cannot fathom or tolerate the idea of going on a date and having this person look at this. So, I'm going to transform myself. I'm gonna solve all of those problems by solving one problem. I'm gonna do a very interesting selection."

All righty, chat. Welcome to another Healthy Gamer GG stream. My name is Dr. Alo Koja. Um, just a reminder that although I'm a psychiatrist, nothing we discuss on stream today is intended to be taken as medical advice. Everything is for educational or entertainment purposes only. If y'all have a medical concern or question, please see a licensed professional. Um, thank you guys so much for coming today. Happy June 2nd everybody. I am super hyped. Uh we've got a lot of great stuff planned for y'all. Um we are coming off of some really great stuff. So I want to just spend a moment talking about that. So uh May uh was mental health awareness month and um you know we've been uh celebrating honoring I don't know exactly what the right word is. We've been doing stuff for mental health awareness month for about six years now. And um you know I think a couple years ago everyone was doing stuff for it like it was kind of the cool thing to do and then I guess like now it's kind of died down like people aren't like it it kind of left the meta for like the the big corpos to celebrate oh like look at us we're so mental health forward. Um so first thing that I want to say is okay so we launched Dr. K's guide to love sex and relationships. Um it seems like a lot of people are really enjoying the guide. Um people are this is the most uh highest amount of the guide has been watched historically. So um people are watching way more of the guide than they have of any previous guide. We had a a set of stretch goals which we were shooting for in terms of sales and we were pretty clear with y'all about um you know what we why we sell things to y'all. Um, and so we basically as of uh like I think yesterday we crossed 8,000 which was our our you know our our stretch goal for May. So thank you guys so much for all the support. If you guys have have checked out the guide um you know if you guys haven't checked out the guide definitely check it out. If y'all already got it, you know, watch it. Hopefully it helps. What we try to do is really break down the sort of the science behind love, sex, and relationships. Um, oh, great. So, so Julie Unreal Guju is on her third watch of the Love, Sex, and Relationships Guide. Nice. Maybe that's why we're seeing such a high percentage of of watch time on the guide because Julie is is chain queuing. Um, uh, yeah. So, thank you guys so much.

Another thing, um, uh, am I stupid for paying for your guide course? I feel like I should just read many books. This is a great great point. You No, you're not stupid. So, let me explain. Okay. So, the whole point of the guide is that you don't have to read many books. So, if you guys like read like non non-fiction self-help books, what you'll notice like for example, outliers is a good example, right? Outliers is like, hey, there's a thing called outliers. And it sort of is a repetition of that concept over and over and over again. The whole point of the guide is that it actually goes through a ton of principles and actually boils them down so that you get all the most important information from the dozen books. The whole point of it is that you don't have to read a dozen books. You can get a really solid distillation, right? And by solid distillation, that's also important because if you read like a one-page summary of a book, you can get the key points, but it's not going to be actionable. it doesn't behavioral change. So the guide is designed to be inepth enough to where it feels really kind of it but also covers a lot of ground. Um so you know just as a simple example we talk about charisma, we talk about flirting. Uh we talk about why you're attracted to what you're attracted to, right? Sure you're attracted to a particular thing, but have you ever thought about why? So you're attracted to unhealthy food. Does that mean that you should eat it? you're attracted to a particular kind of person, does that mean that you should date that kind of person? Right? The the and the presumption here is yes, of course. But then we run into a basic problem. I don't know if you guys have noticed this about dating and relationships. I'm attracted to this kind of person. I date this kind of person and I'm unhappy in the relationship. Right? So, here's a really interesting discovery from research. There is a difference between what you are happy with and what you want. Literally the circuits in the brain are completely different. One, the wanting circuit is your dopamineergic circuit comes from the nucleus encumbent. The hideonic circuit, how much you like something, is the endockinabonoid circuit. Right? So wanting and liking are actually two different things. And there's all kinds of psychology about why we're attracted to what we're attracted to. And a lot of it is like to try to fix our trauma, TLDDR. So the whole point is like it's like all that stuff like all the key points that y'all need to know across the lifespan of a relationship. So the other big thing that I try to do is like there's people who are you know in a relationship for 15 years in a have never been on a date and how can we create a guy that is helpful for each of them at each stage of their journey. And fingers crossed, here's what I was really afraid of when I made the guide is like, okay, there's someone who is going to meet their forever person, but they are going to be so inexperienced that they screw it up and then that one is gone forever. Okay. Now, I think there's a lot of good data and not data, but perspective about there's not just one person, you know, you're not destined to fall in love with one person. You can fall in love with a lot of people. There's a lot of your forever people on the planet. I I believe all that stuff, but also there's like a part of me that's like, but let's not take that chance, right? If you find your forever person and you've never been on date before, how can we help you navigate the full spectrum of the relationship? How do you engage in early relationship touch? How what what is the sexual act like? What leads to success in the sexual act? So, that's kind of the point. Yeah, I mean, you can buy a bunch of books and read them all. That is that is an option. very viable option. The whole point is that most people don't do that. And even if they they do do that, it may take you like a year or two years to read a bunch of books about dating. That's very possible. The other thing that I strongly encourage you all to do is if you get the guide, fill out these surveys. This is code for they're not just surveys. We are collecting a lot of really important information about your tendencies in dating and relationships. how you form connections with people. And we're working on something that thanks for all of y'all that have bought this because now we have some additional funding to continue building it. It just is expensive to make. But we want to send something your way in the next couple of months, probably Q3. Um, if you fill out the surveys. So fill out the surveys. You should get something cool. Okay. Um completed your survey. Excellent. Did you guys notice, by the way, what did y'all notice? For those of you all that have done the surveys, what did you think about the surveys? Are they like other surveys that you have taken? Do you think Yungian concepts are too abstract for modern therapy to be effective? No. That is actually what we're going to solve in today's lecture. But spot on. I I love that question. That's a goal of today's lecture. Okay. Where's the survey? It's if you get the guide, there are surveys. What did you guys think about the surveys? Did you all do them? Survey felt targeted. In what way? Survey felt like a personality test. Very good. It's not just a regular survey. It's not just a satisfaction. There are satisfaction. Are you are you satisfied with the guide? No, they're measuring certain things. Okay. Excellent. Not excessive. Excellent. Right. Not excessive. Okay. Okay. Okay. So, um another thing that we just a quick heads up. So, a lot of people are struggling with actually implementing skills, getting practice. So, we we're we're launching our um friend zone to end zone. This is a timelimited thing. Okay. So like we do these occasionally where we have a set of of um groups that we launch. Okay. So useful for people who are tired of feeling alone, want to have more fun, try new things out, find more fulfilling relationships, ready to move from collecting more dating theory to actually dating differently IRL. Okay. Want to share their stories and learn from others experiences. This is a huge part of our AOE. We've been doing groups at HG for a while, but what we've actually found is the most effective is that when they're pretty pretty targeted. So, it's like if you guys are interested in this, then you should sign up for the group. Okay? Um, and they're time limited. So, we're going to run them for a while and then we're probably going to stop. Okay? Okay, so if you guys are interested, um, that was the other problem with groups is that people would like when they kind of like ran perpetually like too many of them were not getting filled and then we had to close groups and all all kinds of other problems like logistical problems. So what we found works really well is, you know, let's start a a set of groups. People kind of run through it and the people who are interested sign up. Um, and since there's a lot of people interested in this right now, they should fill up quickly and launch quickly so people are not like waiting in a holding pattern for weeks. Um, so that that's kind of the goal. So check it out if you guys are interested in application and skills building, actual skills building in a controlled facilitated environment that is designed to move you forward. Okay. Uh, I need to turn on the air conditioner. I will be our B and then we will start our lecture on ananimous. And we will start with this question. I will be I will be right back. We will start with this question of are Yungian concepts too too abstract to clinically apply. Okay. So let's talk about this. So today we're doing a lecture on anima and animus. Okay. So anima and animus are archetypes. They are yungian archetypes and we'll explain what that is in a second. There's stuff floating around in our subconscious. Okay. But someone asked a brilliant question which is are Yungian archetypes too abstract to apply clinically? And my answer to that question was basically yes. So in preparation of this lecture, okay, which I'll just tell you a little bit about how I came onto this lecture. So we did a lecture on pueris which like cracked something open in this community. It's one of our most successful like set of lectures. People were like, "Holy crap, this is me." Okay. And then what I noticed is that there's like a lot of problem with like dating and mating, right? People are struggling to connect. That's why we made the guide to love, sex, and relationships. And there's like something deeper going on here. There's like like something going on at a at a very deep level in society that is making it hard for human beings to connect. So, I was reading this um this this set of essays by uh I think Emma Jung on Animus and I was like, "Holy crap, this is describing like almost perfectly what we are experiencing." Okay, I'm going to just show you guys real quick. I'm going to just show you all. I have to find it. But um uh hold on. Um let me find this part about relationships. Okay. So I want to show you guys this. Okay. So as long as the projection succeeds that is as long as it's it's the image it's the image corresponds to a certain degree with the bear uh I have to explain this better never mind okay I will explain this forget that scratch that okay I'll do so let me explain so the person someone asked in chat is this too abstract for clinical stuff and that's my frustration so when I was preparing for this lecture I asked a bunch of people. I was like, "Hey, do you guys like have any texts about Yungian archetypes that are clinical that show like how does this show up in someone?" Because most of the stuff on Yian archetypes is not clinical. It's like fairy tale analysis. They're like, "Oh, we can see this archetype represented in this fairy tale." And if you look at like, you know, the Christian mythology theology of like the Virgin Mary, like what is this? The Virgin Mary is the ultimatema archetype. The Virgin Mary is someone who is a perfect mother, but she remains pure. She's not been defiled by a sexual act. She is virginal in her purity, and she is a mother. She's like this fundamental contradiction of pure purity and pure motherhood. So, this is what I would find. And I was like, but hold on a second. There's something going on here where like men and women are struggling. We're having all kinds of problems. Okay. And like something is going on here, but I don't know how to apply this. So part of the reason I part of the reason that we rescheduled the lecture is like what I've tried to do is break down anime animus in a clinical way because I'm a clinician. Okay? So I'm not a Yian psychoanalysis analyst. I am a old school psychiatrist who does psychotherapy and psychoarm and meditation all this kind of stuff. So basically today what we're going to try to do is explain what the archetypes are. Okay. So the lecture is going to have a couple of pieces. So first what is archetype and then we're going to explain whatma and animus is but we're also going to look at the problems of a disconnected and a disconnected animus. What does that look like? And then, oh, hold on a second. Ah, I think I may have just figured out why we're lagging. Hold on. Okay, I ran out of hard disk space. That's the problem. That's probably why we're lagging. Okay, give me a second. We're going to try to I want to I want to continue recording chat. So, I'm going to I'm going to just take a moment while I transfer some things from hard disk space. Um, so while we're waiting, I'm gonna just Yeah. clean up my computer. Tell me about it. Um, time to uninstall video games. Yes. So, um, let me let me ask y'all. Uh, what do y'all where are you guys with archetypes? Do you all know what archetypes are? Do you all feel like this is uh, Nope. Okay. Oh, you know what? I know what I'm going to do. There's another thing that I can do real quick. I'm going to just delete this. Okay, this should work. Okay, we should be fine. Dude, I installed Star Citizen. Such a such a huge problem. Okay, so that should that should do it. Okay. So, we're going to talk about disconnected animus, which is when we are severed from our animean animus. And then we're going to talk about possession by the animma and animus. And each of these has a clinical picture, like a clinical presentation. Then we're going to talk about how theanimus affects us relationally. So, if I have problems with my anime and animus, it is going to affect the relationships that I form. Okay. So, just to give you all a quick example. Um, let me find this real quick. Uh, I want to find this. Um, yeah. So, look at this. Okay. So here's an example. Okay. So uh it derives its authority from its connection with the universal mind. But the force of suggestion it exercises due to the woman's own pacivity in thinking and her corresponding lack of critical ability. Such opinions or concepts usually brought out with great applam especially characteristic of the animist. They are generally valid concepts or truths which though they may be quite true in themselves do not fit in the given cir instance because they fail to consider what is individual and specific in a situation. Readymade incontrovertible valid judgments of this kind are really only applicable in mathematics where 2 * 2 is always four. The same sort of unrelated thinking also appears in a man when he is identified with the reason or logos principle and does not himself think but lets it think. Such men are naturally especially well suited to the embodied of the animus in the in a woman. Okay, so I know that's kind of like a random thing, but what I want you all to pay attention to is they're talking about something called animous possession. an inanimous possession. What happens in this person's mind is they come up with these factory produced styles of thinking and they trot them out. Here are these truths based on mathematical principles, but there's no room for individuality. This is a sign of animous possession. Okay? And this is like a book that was written by Emma Jung like a hundred years ago. Okay. So, can you guys think of in dating and mating, do we have a situation where people are trotting out universal truths as if they are mathematics that remove all individuality from the equation? Okay. Are we pretending like things that are individual and highly variable are actually scientific, not even scientific, mathematical proofs? This is a sign of animous possession. This is something that Emma Jung talked about almost a hundred years ago. She was like, "By the way, there's this pattern." Okay? And it's because of this that I think that anime animus is so so so important to talk about. Okay? Okay. So, let's start with this. Okay. So then we're going to talk about the relation uh relationships that are formed with animanmus and then finally we're going to talk about constellating which is how we fix it. Okay, this is what we're going to cover today. So let's start with the basic. What is an archetype? So Jung noticed something kind of interesting. He noticed that if you go across cultures, there are these primitive things in our unconscious mind which are universal across cultures. So he's like this is kind of interesting, right? Because we're all conditioned by our environment. But what he noticed is that there's this fundamental masculine thing in our unconscious. This is what he called the animus. Then the animus is that which deals with the external world. So is externally oriented is logical is like motivated to accomplish. It is fundamentally the way that a human being. So he like looked across cultures and he was like okay there's this basic thing that some human beings or not not some all human beings have the capacity to deal with the external world. And dealing with the external world involves a set of skills, right? It's interpreting information. It's some amount of analysis. It's building things in the outside world. It's shaping the outside world. It's inter interacting with the outside world. It's logical. So he kind of lumped these things together and he said, you know what, this is what we're going to call the masculine principle. Because if you look at men, especially in Jung's time, right? Men are people who go out and they build things. is they shape the external world. They build tree houses. They don't talk about their feelings. That is what the work of men. Okay. Then what he also noticed is that there was an internal principle as well. There's an inner sense of being, a sense of feeling, a sense of connection, a sense of relation. Not shaping but relating, connecting. And he's like these are these two lumps of stuff. One is an internal orientation and one is an external orientation. And because the society was very gendered in that time, people associated masculinity with external stuff with accomplishment with logic and women or emotions feeling internal relational connection. But this is really important to understand what Jung said is that these are not male and female. They're masculine and feminine. So every human being has both of these qualities. These are primitive parts of our unconscious mind. If you look at any human being on the planet, there's a part of us that wants to shape and interact with the external world. And there is a part of us that has an inner sense of being, feeling, aliveness, and connection. This is what he called animus. And this is what he called. Now back in the day, animus and anima mapped on more to men and women. So we used to live in highly gendered societies where men were more animous oriented and women were more oriented. Okay. So each of us Okay. of man or woman. Both of us have animus and anima. An animus is external logical accomplishment driven challenging. Okay. Anda is internal, feeling um connecting, being nurturing and he sort of said okay every human being on the planet has these two qualities and these are archetypal things. So what is an archetype? It is a very deeprooted pattern that lives in our unconscious. So if you look at your life, you have a part of you that is externally oriented, a part of you that is internally oriented. You have a part of you that is logical, a part of you that is feeling literally like now this remember this is like Jung, okay? So this is around the year 1900, like 120 years ago, let's say. I think he was around around 1900. Okay? And now like back then they didn't know that there was left brain and right brain, right? They didn't know that there was the amygdala feeling portion of our brain and there was like the logical portion of our brain, the analytical portion of our brain. That language is over here on the left in Broca's area and Waricki's area, right? And there's some emotional circuits over on the right. So our lyic system is is more right brain. They didn't know that stuff, but they just observed it. They sort of noticed. Okay. And then Jung also Emma Yung really did a lot of this work. So then what they noticed is every person has an animma and every person has an animus. And what we want is a healthy balance between the two. We want an integration between these two things. is that my life is a balance of going out and accomplishing things in the world and being one with myself that I have logic and I have emotion. But then what happens in some people is one of the forces the forces can become imbalanced and this is where the abstraction becomes clinical. Okay. So we can disconnect from one. So there are some people who are disconnected from their animus. This is where things get complicated. Man, this is so hard to put together. Okay. So as a human being, I have an animus and I have an animma. And if I get disconnected from one, what happens is the other one kind of becomes dominant. So I can have a life where I'm way too emotional, way too internally focused. I don't deal with the vagaries of the external world, man. All those plebs who are always like out there working deadend jobs and clawing out a pathetic living in life, right? All these dirty people out there who are trying to claw out some kind of lowme, no, I'm more grand. I'm not going to I'm not going to debase myself to join the rat race of the normal world, the external world. I'm going to be philosophical. I'm going to be intellectual. I'm going to be follow the deeper things, the spiritual things to pierce the veil of reality to understand the metaphysical nature of the world. I will not I'm not going to actually go get a PhD in physics and do math problems. I'm going to contemplate quantum mechanics and synchronicity on Reddit, right? I'm not going to engage with this dirty, oh my god, like I have to fill out applications and fill out surveys and get my oh my god, I'm not going to do that. Right? Do you see how these people are they they are not able to engage with the external world. But we also have cases of animus and disconnected. These are people who are not connected to their inner being. In the same way, I ain't going to deal with feelings. Facts don't give a f about your feelings. Feelings are useless. Feelings are are low. Feelings are pathetic. I'm going to focus on mathematics. I'm going to focus on ROI. I'm going to focus on analysis. This is how you succeed in the external world. No one gives a crap how you feel. Feelings are to be conquered. They're to be severed. I'm going to use drugs. I'm going to use steroids. I'm going to go out there. I'mma have [ __ ] I'm have cars. I'm going to be big on the outside. That is where success lies. This being content with yourself on the inside, being able to feel, being a a [ __ ] who focuses on nurturing and feeling. Oh my god, how pathetic is that? Sound familiar, right? Oh, no. No. But someone's saying, "I I I was about to say true until he said drugs and steroids." But think about it. Drugs are the ultimate way to deal with internal feeling. They're our way of exerting control. I what I feel on the inside is is not worth anything. I just need it to stop. So give me a little bit of that vitamin K. Let me roll up to Wall Street and my job as an investment banker. I'm going to go down from the 68th floor of the building that I'm in on Wall Street. I'm going to go into the mobile ketamine clinic, which is a bus that parks outside of my building, and I'm going to get in injected with vitamin K. Okay, you guys understand? And by the way, I'm going to show you all some some cool quotes, okay, of both of these things, and it's going to be hilarious. So, this is a lopsided animus, and this is a lopsided where we disconnect from a part of ourselves. In this Jung, Emma Jung and um and uh Carl Jung both said that both of these are fundamentally unhealthy. You won't be a healthy human being. But there's another thing that can happen. So this is called disconnection and this manifests in a particular clinical way. Okay? Clinical in the sense of like shows up in a human being, not in the sense of like diagnosis. This is the picture which I sort of modeled for y'all. Okay? And oh yeah, when Dr. K says, "Oh my god, I think anime and animus is so helpful in in us understanding things." This is not me making these connections, okay? This is me just using the current version, but we will literally see versions of this. You guys want to, we can see this one real quick. Um, no. Okay. Well, I I'll show you all one in a second. Okay. So, then something weird happens. There's something called possession. So this is another layer. Okay. So this is when we have thema and animus. Let's say I am say animma sucks. I'm allan animus. But then something weird happens. This part of our unconscious we can try to bury it but it is like a fundamental part of us. We can't really get rid of it. No matter how much I think that emotions are dumb, right? Emotions are useless. Emotions are waste of my time. Facts don't care about your feelings. At the end of the day, I still have a lyic system. That part of my brain is like there. And similarly, in my mind, which is different from the brain, right? In my mind, there is a part of me that is nurturing. There is a part of me that is inner no matter how much I try to make it go away. So then something weird happens. Thema actually possesses the animus. And this becomes a puppeteer. Okay. So what does this mean? This means that on the outside I appear to be very logical. I appear to be very analytical. But behind my logic and behind my analysis, emotions actually control me. I become highly sensitive to criticism because internally I can't handle it. I need to prove them wrong. I become highly sensitive or not sensitive, paranoid to manipulation. I'm worried about people always manipulating me. I'm I'm paranoid about people manipulating me. Why? Because I don't I'm not anchored in myself. So what I discover and these people, the people who are animaposed are hyper analytical, hyperlogical, but they're incredibly moody. They're actually like, you know, when we talk about the fragile masculine ego. Like look at this alpha who's like got a bunch of money and got a bunch of muscles and all this kind of stuff, but like you're like, "Yeah, man. You're pathetic, bro." And they're like they can't tolerate. They pick fights with middle-aged dudes who have three loving kids on the internet and try to flex on them. They have to put everyone in their place. They're actually incredibly emotional creatures. They're very unstable. They do things like get up and walk out of interviews because they can't tolerate a conversation. They're incredibly emotional, but they're the last to realize it, right? They go picking ego fights because Oh, hold on a second. But you have all this money, you have all this fame, you have all of this stuff, you have all these big muscles. Why are you picking a fight with a random dude who's got three kids? Like, what? Why are you doing that? And they don't have a good answer for it. They're like, oh yeah, like I'm doing it for fun. Wait, hold on a second. What about that is fun? They don't know because they're not connected to their inner being. So thema actually puppets their animus. Their feeling actually drives their analytical thinking. Okay. So this is what happens in animous possession. Then we have sorry animma possession. Then we have animus possession. So this is an inanimous possession. Remember what we're doing is we're lpping off We're lpping off our analytical portion. And so this part of us that tries to control, tries to restrain, tries to make the world a tries to get the world to conform. Remember this is external and this is internal. So these people too their animus starts controlling theirma. So in the case of animous possession we see a different kind of picture where they are very very very like um well this is where things get a little bit tricky because the the one of the pictures that Emma Yung talks about for animous possession is actually when this gets tricky. So you can sort of think about someone who is like a woman who has severed off all of her feeling and has become hyperanimous. So this is like the cold [ __ ] the boss babe. Okay. Where our feelings even though we've cut No, sorry. Yeah. We've cut off our animous, we've cut off our externally oriented thing. So instead what we do is that drive for to exist in the outside world gets translated into fantasy. Sorry I I messed up there for a second. Okay. So this is what this looks like. So this is a person who when when we get animus possessed this is someone who lives in the realm of fantasy. So they can't do anything in the outside world but that drive to do things in the outside world infects their internal world. So these are people who h build castles in their mind. They're highly theoretical. Their desire to create, their desire to analyze, their desire to accomplish in the external world gets flowed into their imagination because they're they're too stuck, right? theirma shifted. So they're shifted internally. So all of their external drive manifests internally. So they build up idealized versions of themsel. They have a beautiful example of the perfect version of themsel. They have this logical idea of the perfect self. But that perfect self lives within them. The perfect self cannot grapple with the muddiness of the outside world. Okay. Then we get to the relational component, but I think I'm going to explain some of this stuff. Okay. Um, there's lack of balance. So, animma disconnection. I'm going to just talk about some of these features. Okay. So when we're disconnected from our animus, when we're disconnected from our feeling portion, okay, so anima disconnection started to happen a lot with feminism. Not me saying this, is Emma Yung saying this. Okay. So what happened? Let's just talk about this for a second. So there used to be a period of time where men did one thing and women did another thing. And then a couple of fundamental things changed in the world. So Emma Yung talks about this. Um, let me just show you all. Oh, here we go. Okay. Okay, so I found the thing. So one of the animous activities most difficult to see through lies in in this field, namely the building up of a wish image of oneself. The animus is expert at sketching in and making a plausible picture that represents us as we would like to be seen. the ideal lover, the selfless handmaiden, the extraordinarily original person, right? Which is now being intersected with the sick of fancy of AI, which is now telling you, AI is now telling you, yeah, you are extraordinarily original. Your ideas are revolutionizing quantum mechanics. This is quantum biology, bro. You're really breaking barriers that no one else has broken. And this person is spending their time or they're spending their time in the external world. No, this is the animus being filtered through their internal being. Other examples are a largely retrospectively oriented pondering of what we ought to have done differently in life and how we ought to have done it or as if under compulsion we make up strings of causal connections. We like to call this thinking though on the contrary it is a form of mental activity that is strangely pointless and unproductive. a form that really leads only to self- torture. Here too, there is again a caristic characteristic failure to discriminate between what is real and what has been thought or imagined. Boom. Here we go. Animous possession written by Emma Jung 100 years ago. 100 years ago. She's like, here's what the pattern is. This faculty of thinking is not being put out into the world. The faculty of thinking is being pulled internally. And these people just [ __ ] chew on these thoughts. They're really good at analyzing. Oh my god, they analyze so much, but they analyze in the past. They form all of these complex theories and it never translates out into the external world. They are stuck inside themselves. This is the animus possessing thema. Okay, that's the example. Now, um I want to get to this. Okay, we'll get to how to fix it. Don't worry. I want to show you guys one thing, though. Nope. Can't find it. Hold on. No, I'm going to find it. Just give me a second, chat. So, this is important. I wasn't originally going to include this, but now I feel like I need to include it. Okay, so we're going to start with feminism for a moment. Okay, and this is not like please don't God don't think like I'm anti-feminism. We have to understand. Okay, so this is why I'm talking about this. Okay, I'm using the trigger word of feminism. Oh my god, he's talking about feminism. Let's understand. We really got to understand this. Okay, I wasn't going to include this originally because I didn't want people to get triggered, but this is important. Oh, but what is in an anime? Oh, remind me guys, remind me to show you all the anime part of Emma Jung's thing. Okay, remind me about anime. We're going to talk about anime in a second. Okay. Okay. Okay. So, yeah, I don't want to get cancelceled, but we got to understand. So, we as human beings have

These psychological like parts of us, right? Like so every human being has the desire to make themselves known in the external world and has the desire to like be good internally. Like this is fundamental. And then what happened is these internal psychological drives manifested in a particular way. So for like a 100,000 years of evolution, human beings lived in a particular society. So our brain and our psychological drives evolved with the society. Then what happened is society changed, and as society changed, these psychological drives no longer fit normally with the world that we live in.

And so Emma Jung noticed that in her patients something was going on with their anima. The relationship between their anima and their animus was getting messed up by advances in society. Now, this is really important to understand. She is not saying, and I don't think Marie Louise von Franz doesn't believe this, Emmy Jung doesn't believe this, I don't believe this. This is not good or bad. This does not imply that we should have stayed in the old way.

So what Emma Jung talks about is she says that there are three causes for animus-anima problems for women. The first is that we used to rely on religion to give us a sense of like inner being and help us connect with our internal self. As religion started to decline, we no longer had a clear way to connect with our spiritual selves.

Second big thing that changed a lot for women, changed drastically for women, is birth control. So a huge part of what a woman's psychology had to be oriented towards is like, to breed or not to breed, that is the question. Because medical care was not great at that time. Infant mortality is really bad. Even today, statistically, the most dangerous thing that the average woman will do in her life is get pregnant and bear a child. Most dangerous thing that you'll ever do. So a lot of our psychology was wrapped up into this question, which now suddenly we have freedom over.

And the third thing is technology. So there were many tasks. So for example, Jung talks about, you know, there are many tasks for which the woman previously applied her inventiveness and creative spirit, right? Where she formerly blew up the hearth fire and thus still accomplished a Prometheian act. Today, she just turns a gas plug or electrical switch and has no inkling of what she sacrifices by these practical novelties.

Okay. Um, so basically what she's kind of pointing out is if you look at like, let's say a woman a thousand years ago or 2,000 years ago, the drive to be inventive, the drive to be creative was in some way satisfied by the way that they took care of their household, right? To make order out of chaos and engage with the external world, I had to keep my house in order. And a good example of like a well-integrated animus woman is what I think of is like a matriarch. So she's not someone who is just dealing with feelings, she's dealing with practicalities. So I remember when my grandmother was, when she had young kids in India, there was rationing going on. So she would get an allotment of sugar that was really expensive. So she couldn't buy more, and so she had to use her analytical capability to make sure that the sugar lasted through the month. She had to be very analytical, very externally oriented. She also had to account for the fact that my grandfather was not good with money. So her animus was very represented. It got some, it had stuff to do.

And so with the creation of technology, right? So what happened is then suddenly like the stuff that women used to do is no longer that big of a deal. So then where does their external drive go? And this is where she also observes a couple of things. Okay, which is for everything not done in the traditional way will be done in a new way, and that is not altogether simple. There are many women who, when they have reached the place where they are confronted by the intellectual demands, say, "I would rather have another child in order to escape or at least postpone the uncomfortable and disturbing demand."

So this is important to understand. This is like, I want you all to be really careful about what this means and what this doesn't mean. So what Jung is saying is that look, if there used to be something done a particular way and we just take that away, it's not such an easy problem to solve. And some women will avoid their intellectual engagement by retreating into just being an oven for babies. And Jung says this will cause you a ton of problems in life. You have a fundamental psychological need to engage in the outside world, to accomplish things in the outside world, and society was so simple that you used to be able to satisfy that. And just having children is a way to run away from the intellectual demand. And remember, Jung is like 100 years ago, right? So she's like maybe 1920s, maybe 1930s, maybe 1950s. And she was saying, okay, there are a lot of women who just want to have kids, that's fine. But some women choose to have an additional child instead of grapple with this: "What am I going to do with my IQ? How am I going to feel accomplished in life?" And they will retreat from this challenge by having children.

Now, notice she's not saying that having children is good or having children is bad, right? She's saying like, this is the psychological reality that like your brain's got to be occupied with something. And you can run away from it by having kids, or you can embrace it and have kids. You can try to be the best analytically accomplished-oriented mother that you can. Very decent option. This, I think, is right.

Now, the reason this becomes important is because women used to be in the kitchen, and then around the time of feminism, they stopped being in the kitchen because there was a decline in religion. This is what Jung says. Okay. Decline in religion, birth control, loss of traditional gender roles. So there is a new challenge that women have to face, which is why they started entering the workplace. They started becoming more masculine. They started balancing the anima and the animus, right? This was a necessary thing that evolved with technology.

Now, the really interesting thing. So if you read Emma Jung's words, which we're going to go over a ton, I think what I'm seeing, which is really interesting, the same thing that happened to women 70 years ago is happening to men today. Traditional gender roles for us are now disappearing. Men have a lower college matriculation rate, graduation rate than women do. We don't make on average necessarily more money than women do. We're no longer the providers. So it used to be that we used to have a well-carved way to get our animus and figured out, and now that's gone for us. So now we're the ones spinning in the wind.

And just like Emma Jung said, they said some women run away from the problem of intellectual engagement by having more kids. Some men run away from the inner problem, getting to know myself, getting to connect myself, by going hard in the other direction. "I'm just going to make more money. I'm just going to make bigger muscles. I'm going to just do all this stuff as a substitute for the inner work." Define inner contentment and peace. I'm not actually looking inward. What I'm going to do is become the best version of me that I can ever be. And hopefully, if I accomplish enough externally, that'll wrap around and I'll be internally content. They're running away from the inner work by leaning into the external work. Same thing that was happening to women 60 or 70 years ago is happening to men today, but in a different direction.

Okay, it's insane, guys, how like how prophetic this is. And this is the beauty of archetypes, is that archetypes are deep within us. They don't change. The society around us changes. And the way that our archetype connects to the society changes and creates this lack of connection, is what creates a lot of our problems.

Okay. So, um, so during around this time of anima disconnection, right? So women became a little bit disconnected from their their anima, their inner being, their feeling. So there was like sort of a whole scale suppression of their feeling, right? We sort of viewed, and this is interesting when we talk about a patriarchy, this becomes relevant too, because what we did in society is we said analysis is better than emotion. Logic is superior to emotion. Right? We made a fundamental statement that our light, right, our left brain is just better than our left. I mean, our left brain is just better than our right brain. To be logically sound is superior to becoming emotionally aware. This is the overarching like system of our our society today. Some people call it the patriarchy.

And so then what happened is women were like, "Okay, if you want to be successful, you should become a man. You should become a CEO. You should go into STEM." And we try to make that more accommodating, which I have nothing against. But my point is that we're still shifting into the masculine being superior to the feminine. It is it is such an insidious and profound way, right? If you ask someone, "Hey, what do you want to be when you grow up?" And they say they answer with a job. If you say, "What do you want to be when you grow up?" "Content." Oh my god. "You can't ever date someone who wants contentment in life." Oh my god. "Where's the ambition, bro?" Ambition is superior to contentment. To be externally oriented, to be grinding every day, to be accomplishing more is superior to having inner peace. This is the society that we live in.

And so since that was the attitude, feminism actually followed that. If you read into Jung in a particular way, right? So she's like, she's saying that Marie Louise von Franz talks about this quite a bit, and I'll try to find a clip for you all, but she kind of says that, you know, we made the masculine the ideal. The masculine way of living in the world became superior to the feminine way of living in the world. Now, remember, I'm not saying male or female, I'm saying masculine and feminine. The animus became superior to the anima. We said logic is better than emotion. What's happening on here is not as important as what's happening on the outside. We made those value judgments.

And so then what happened when feminism rolled around is we had a lot of anima suppression in women. We had anima disconnection in women. So women became some of them became ball busters. They became very, very like masculine in their vibe, right? And we came up with a particular term for it, which is ball busters. And even the men don't like it. Even though the women are just doing what the men have always done, right? It's like if this is done by a dude, it's lauded. If it's done by a woman, we get all bent out of shape and we come up with a particular term, ball buster. So this is a sign of disconnection.

Okay. So people who are disconnected from their anima view feelings as impure and thus become anti-impurity, which becomes a denial of our very own instincts. Right? The way that I feel is actually like bad and is inferior to the way that I think.

Okay. Now, here's what's really interesting. Another thing that Jung talked about is when we become disconnected from, we'll just use the example of anima for now. When we become disconnected from our inner feeling, that part of us still exists, and we must get it from the outside. So if we do not have a good relationship with our feelings, our feelings, instead of the source of our feelings being us, we have to get feeling from somewhere. So then what happens is we get our feeling from the outside.

Okay. So the absence of connection with your own inner being means that your emotive manifestation needs to come from other places. So what does Jung talk about? Sexual emphasis, where when we are disconnected from our internal emotions, we rely on sex to give us feelings, literally. And if you look at what's going on in the manosphere right now, right? There's so much stuff about the status of sexual conquest. Sex is not just nutting. Sex is meaning, pride, power, status. Where does pride, power, and status, where does that exist? It exists within us. You say, "No, no, no. Status is in the outside world." No, it isn't. When I walk into a restaurant and they're like, "Oh, welcome, Dr. K. We have your table ready for you." Status. Is that nice in the outside? Yes. But when I walk into the restaurant and and I'm like, "Hey, do you have my table ready?" And they're like, "We're sorry. We don't have your table ready." Then how do I feel? "How dare you? Do you know who I am? I'm Dr. K. I'm an influencer with three million followers. I'm one of the most followed psychiatrists on the planet." What has changed when people don't give me status? Internal. Internal has changed. When they give me status, what has changed? Internal. "Look at me. I'm so great, bro. Bruh, I'm so great. Look at how everyone's everyone's bowing down. Everyone's paying respect, man. Come on, man. Like, don't you know I'm Dr. K?" Status is internal.

And this is what we see when you are disconnected from your own inner being. You are dependent on the rest of the world to make you feel a certain way. That's why I need to get laid because if I if I can get laid and we [ __ ] hear it. You just pay attention to all of the incel, red pill, black pill, alpha, whatever. "I'm a loser because I can't get laid." If I become late, "Hey, should I go see a prostitute because then I won't feel like such a loser?" "I went to go see a prostitute and now I feel even more like a loser." It's all about feeling, feeling, feeling, feeling, feeling. And they pretend it isn't. This is anima disconnection. Sexual emphasis to feel a certain way, status, power, privilege, whatever, right? It is all actually feeling oriented.

So these people end up developing very, very hyperlogical tools. Remember, the animus is high, the anima is low. So they develop hyperlogical tools to control their feelings. Here are the rules: "If you are ever in love with a girl, peace out. She controls you, [ __ ]. You ain't going to let her control you. You got to step out of that relationship. You can't let her control you. If you are ever in love with a girl, you better have sex with 10 other women until that feeling goes away." They come up with rules and terminology and lingo, all to control a certain amount of feeling within them because they can't get it within themselves.

Okay. So, let me see if there's a good quote here. Okay. Um, let me look at some of these. We may have already looked at this, but I'll just. So what we see when we are disconnected from our feeling is we become controlled by our. We become controlled by our animus. We become controlled by our hyperlogical thinking. Right? So such opinions or concepts usually are brought out with great applause, especially characteristic of the animus. Generally valid concepts or truth, though they may be quite true in themselves, do not fit in the given instance because they fail to consider what is individual and specific in a situation. Love is an individual thing, not a neurochemical thing. Right? And I say that as a psychiatrist. There is a neurochemistry of it, which we explain in Dr. K's Guide to Love, Sex, and Relationships. But it is more than just neurochemistry. Right? So, um, readymade, incontrovertible, valid judgments of this kind are only applicable in mathematics, where 2*2 is always four. But in life, they do not apply, for there they do violence either to the subject under discussion, or to the person being addressed, or even the woman herself, who delivers a final judgment without having taken all of her reactions into account.

Okay. So, page 19. Okay. This is this is what's kind of confusing about this. I'm going to show you all. Okay. So, we've got a couple of different scenarios. One is anima is low, and by compensation, animus is high. So this is a hyper animus, animus picture. But then the other thing that's kind of weird about this is that when we talk about possession, the anima actually controls the animus from behind the scenes. So when we talk about this kind of possession, these people are actually very emotional. They have no awareness of it, but they behave quite emotionally. They cannot afford to put themselves in situations where they do not look superior. Right? So this is where narcissism comes in. So narcissism is sensitivity about my self-image. Why am I sensitive about? What is the effect of that? That means that the way that people judge me determines how I feel about myself. I can't afford to look bad because I have no awareness or skill or connection with my anima. So my internal emotional state is determined by how I am treated. Okay, this is hypermus with anima disconnection and/or possession. Okay, this is where things get a little bit clinically tricky because in my experience, when I try to translate this, these two are not necessarily the same. But the basic idea is that the emotions are controlling you from behind the scenes.

Okay. Next. Okay. Hyper sensitive to status. Um, okay. Okay. Now, let's talk a little bit about anima possession. Okay. Um, hold on. I'm getting confused myself. I think I'm getting confused because I did things out of order. Give me a second, chat. Let me just check in with y'all, and then we're going to move on to the different picture. Okay. Um, okay. Yeah, this is anima possession. Okay. So, now we're gonna focus on this is Yeah, this kind of confuses me because I wonder if I muddled things together. Hold on a second. Okay, disconnected animus. This makes sense. Okay. Disconnected animus. Got that. Animus possession. We got that. Oh, no. We haven't talked about animus possession. Okay. This is this is where we are. Um. Ah, I see what mistake I made. I mislabeled something in my notes, which is why it's so confusing. Hold on. Let me just map write this out. This feels to me like neuroanatomy. Okay. So we have animus, which we are disconnected to, and then we have the anima. And so we have animus possession. Yes, this is correct. Okay. So the scenario that we looked at over here is anima possession. This is what we looked at. Okay, the anima possessing the animus. So when our feeling is lopped off, when our feeling is lopped off, the feelings end up controlling our logic.

Okay. So now let's look at the other scenario. Let's look at the scenario of animus possession. So this is when we are way too internally focused, okay? And all of our external drives are manifested internally. Okay? So I'm going to show you all, let me see if I can get this to work. Um, show you all an example of this. Okay, this is this is the goat herself. Okay, so let's do this. Fantasies. You see, for instance, in puberty when young men are very active and then suddenly they become passive. >> Where do you see the animus manifest in life? On a primitive level, it appears in men generally as a an element of romantic, unreal, mostly sexual fantasies. You see, for instance, in puberty when young men are very active and then suddenly they become passive and dreamy and they are not there and their performance in school goes down tremendously and one has the feeling, "Where is that? Where has that young man disappeared?" He's in the clutches up to the neck of daydreaming sexual fantasies. In that age, it is a normal transition. But if a man gets stuck indulging in wishful sexual fantasies, he literally falls into the hand of a vampire. He loses his capacity of taking his own life in hand. He loses his willpower. He loses all his male efficiency. And he just daydreams all the time about women and their curves and would be romantic adventures and so on. He lives in an unreal life. I saw once a man who was 43, still living with his mother, who had never approached a woman. I asked him, "What on earth are you doing with your sex?" And he gave a secretive smile and didn't confess. He he just masturbated widely every night. And then he then he dreamt that he was in daytime living an ordinary life, but in the nighttime he was living on a luscious island where he had wild sexual adventures with women. That was a fantasy world into which he had disappeared. In in a primitive tribe, one would say such a man has been bewitched. He's bewitched.

This is like this is what I mean, y'all. Like, okay, so every once in a while, as a psychiatrist, okay, this so I'm a psychiatrist, which means that people come into my office and they like have trouble in life. And then what I try to do is I try to figure out what is wrong with them. Does this person have ADHD? Do they have maladaptive daydreaming? Is this a trauma reaction? Like, what's what's going on? And then every once in a while, and this is what I love, this is what's so important. See, I think psychiatry is the field of medicine where the things that people knew a hundred years ago are just as important as they are today. Because this is the key thing to understand about psychiatry compared to the other parts of medicine. So, we've discovered we can do coronary artery calcium scans to determine how clogged your arteries are around your your your how clogged your coronary arteries are, right? We can do brain MRIs or we can do EEG to monitor where the seizure focus for your epilepsy is. We can do dialysis to, well, dialysis treats the kidneys. We can check your BUN, creatinine clearance, blood urea and nitrogen clearance, creatinine clearance. Right? See, in other parts of medicine, we've gotten physical abilities to know what's going on. If anything, in psychiatry, we've gotten a lot of red herrings. Like, sure, we can brain scan a lot, but to this day, brain scanning is not used in any clinical psychiatry or psychology unless there's neuropsychiatry. Right? Right? If you come into your psychiatrist's office and you're like, "Hey, I'm depressed." We don't brain scan you. There's arguably some elements of things like TMS, transcranial magnetic stimulation, where we work directly on the brain and do something in depression, but that's like one, like 5% of psychiatry tops. So, our tools for understanding the mind have not gotten better at all. That's not true. We have some degrees of personality analysis and surveys and stuff like that, but for the most part, they haven't really gotten better. And so occasionally I find a video that's a hundred years old, and she is she is describing gooning. She is describing to a tea what we are seeing.

There are men, right? So what is the anima when it goes out of control in a man? What does that look like? They're too internally preoccupied. She's like, "I had a patient who was 43, living with his mother." Right? That used to be unusual. It's not anymore. And she's like, "What are you doing with your sex?" Right? I'm sure that's like a translation of a German, whatever. I don't know what the German is, but that seems like a translation thing, right? And then he offers a secretive smile. He's not even embarrassed. He's like, "Goin' to the moon, baby. Let's go. Goon to the moon." And he's caught up in this. So this is a case where the anima has become. Remember that that when we talk about animus possession, we are traditionally so this is what's weird. I've already done this. I wanted to do this as a conclusion, but this is what I'm kind of pointing out. So the traditional picture of animus possession was a woman who cuts off her anima, and then the animus comes and possesses her. But now I think what we're starting to see. So this was the challenge that women faced 50, 60, 70 years ago when feminism was on the rise and they lost their gender identity. We are seeing the same problem with men. What does it mean to be a man today? What is masculinity? Now we're calling masculinity toxic masculinity. What is healthy masculinity? Nobody knows. Is not being toxic. What is healthy masculinity? I will say it is an integration of your animus. It is a well-constellated anima and a well-constellated animus. It is a balance of feeling and logic. It is having an inner awareness. And even a lot of the the the pushes in men's work, if you guys are familiar with this, is like now the red pill bros are actually it's really cool what they've done. They're like, "Bro, you should go to therapy. Hit the gym. Go to therapy. Learn how to regulate your emotions. Start meditating." Right? Discover what you want. Go work on that inner journey. Go hike the Appalachian Trail. Go find yourself, bro. It's not all just about zeros in your bank account and your body count when it comes to how many people you slept with. There's a deeper you have to discover who you are as a man. You have to do the inner work.

And so when we talk about traditionally, when we talk about anima and animus, when we talk about a hyperanima, the examples that they give will be women. Right? So here is a woman who fantasizes about the man who will come and sweep her away. She's caught up in her own head. She doesn't engage in the outside world. She's just being, waiting to be swept away like a Disney princess. But now the problems that men used to have or women used to have, now men are having. Right? We're getting equality in society. And we're seeing this really interestingly enough in the balancing of prevalence of mental illness. Eating disorders rising in men. Anorexia, body dysmorphia rising in men. Addictions rising in women. This used to be men were more addicted, women were more body dysmorphia, eating disorders. Now it's evening out. So we're abolishing these gender roles in our society, right? Because now we're truly independent. We don't need a segregation of labor anymore. And some people will say that this is morally bad. That's not my place to say whether you think this is right or wrong, or whether we should go back to traditional values. Like that's up to you. You make that decision. I don't know. What I'm here to comment on is what is the psychological impact of the society that we live in today? How do you as a human being who cares about whether gender should be this way or shouldn't be this way? You are alive today. You're trying to date people. You're trying to figure out what to do with your life. I don't care about what society should be doing. I care about you. How do you navigate this?

If you are stuck in a life like this where you are in your head, you're living idealization and fantasy. You live in your head, right? And there's an interesting element here of animus as well, or an interesting thing where one of the reasons that I think that we've gotten so dependent on external things to evoke feelings. So, we talked about sexuality, we talked about status and conquest, but there's also things like anime. I watch anime. One of the most common features of someone who's someone who's addicted to anime is, "Anime makes me feel. I love the way that I feel and I want to craft a life. I long to be this person in the anime." And they watch this stuff because it evokes an inner feeling. What is their basic problem in life? They cannot evoke that feeling in life. They look around at the external world and they say, "This is nothing. I can't get anything from this. It doesn't give me that zest." So I watch artificial versions of this, and it evokes this feeling. They are disconnected from their own, right? And then things get kind of confusing. And this is why it's hard. Someone asked this question, "Is this too abstract for clinical things?" And I think kind of it's like hard for even me to wrap my head around because I see I think that there are clinical versions of this that are like lots of different. I'll try to map this out for you all. Okay. This is what's hard. I'm going to do my best.

So, let's try to map this out. So, there is anima and there is animus. So if my anima is low and my animus is high. Okay. Then what's going to happen is I have an absence of inner feeling, and I'm going to rely on the world to create feeling. Right? And so this goes in one of two. This kind of has a branch point. Either I go the alpha male route of money, status, power, or I go the beta male route. I I don't believe this, but this is just I go the anime route. Let's call it that. Drugs, video games. I'm going to use these things to evoke feeling. But the basic problem is I'm not in touch with my feelings. I have no sense of inner being. I have no inner spirituality. And if you talk to these people, these people are nihilistic. Their life feels empty. What is it that provides the fullness of life? It is anima. It is my inner being. They're like rudderless in a world. Right? So there's kind of this clinical differentiation here. And these are just men. And so then what happens with women, right, is they they start to degrade the feeling. "I don't want to be like the other girls. I don't want to be moody. I don't want to be this." They become hyper masculine, career-focused, right? But brutally so moody, sensitive. I'm not saying that women can't be career-focused. I'm married to a woman who I think is very career-focused and has a relatively balanced animus. She's got an MBA, runs a company very successfully, but she's not disconnected from her feelings. She loves her feelings. We engage in a lot of feelings-oriented stuff. Right? Whether that's okay, we're going to like have a meeting with someone who wants to invest $20 million in our company on Monday, and on Tuesday I'm gonna spend time at the spa with my daughters. Really just connecting with them as human beings, and I'm just going to feel good and get spoiled, right? The career focus doesn't have to be animus-oriented. A well-integrated animus will be career-focused. That's the whole point is that this career focus is one of the fundamental psychological drives that we have. The drive for external accomplishment, let's call it that as a broader umbrella of which career focus can be one of them. Okay.

So there is a denigration of feeling, and in this case, these people, they feel they require this thing for feeling. But if you actually ask this group of people, "How do you feel about feelings?" They will hate them. "I hate that I feel this way. I wish I didn't have to feel this way. I wish I could be I wish I could be great. I wish I was more disciplined. I wish I was less lazy. My feelings are a torture." The key common element between all of these things is feelings. Not feelings, actually. Bad. Bad. Bad. I don't want it. I don't want it. Get rid of it. That's the key binding thing. But these are three distinct clinical presentations.

Okay. Then let's talk about scenario number two. Animus. Anima high. Animus low. Okay. So this is where we get, I am internally focused. Okay. This is where, let me find a nice quote. Okay. Um, okay. So the features of this are a life that is ungrounded. The animus is what engages with the external world. So they don't engage with the external world. Their capacity to engage with the external world is lost. They're swarmed by feeling. They're swept up by their. The reason they can't afford to engage in the external world is because they get triggered. Their triggers determine their lack of engagement in the external world. Sound familiar? Right? "I can't handle being at work because it triggers too much." And I'm not trying to denigrate trauma. I work with people with trauma all the time. Triggers are absolutely real. And their pain is real. Make no mistake. Pain is absolutely real. This is difficult. This is not stupid. They have lopped off a part of themselves for some good reason in the past. But their experience is that they are swarmed by feeling. The feelings dictate what they do. Right? So these are people who are like, "I don't know what to major in because what if I major in the wrong thing? Then I'll have wasted four years of my life." And the feeling that comes with wasting four years of your life is so dominating that you cannot engage in the external world.

Okay. So what do they end up doing? This animus gets translated through the anima and results in idealization fantasy. Right? They are so logical in their head. They can construct castles in the sky. They have difficulty grappling with the external world. Okay. Another thing that's really interesting about animus, which we'll talk about, is that sometimes these people can have a very harsh self-dialogue and very critical self-dialogue. This is a feature of the animus, and so it's kind of dormant, and it comes out a lot like because it's not manifest in the external world, it kind of comes out in your head.

Okay. Okay. Okay. So, animus possession results in an idealized wish image of oneself, sketching a perfect version of yourself based on logic, the logical ubermensch, but we don't move towards it in any significant way.

So, this is because the animus energy is not oriented towards the external world. It is oriented internally. All of our logical and analytical ability is being driven into the logical ubermensch. And remember, the animus is what engages with the external world. So when we engage with the external world, the external world is dirty. We'll get to this when we get to constellation. The way that things work out in my mind, anytime I go into the real world, it doesn't work out like that. How do I make it work out like that? What is that other variable in the equation that I have? What kind of meditation can I do to conquer my social anxiety? So once my social anxiety is conquered, then I can go into the world, and I will have the idealized version of myself. The picture that I have of me being funny and a charismatic leader, I know I'm capable of that. I did it on my WoW server. I ran a WoW server of 300 people. I know I'm capable. But the real world is dirty. The real world doesn't work out the way that it does in my head. How do I bridge that gap? And these people do something very insidious. They try to figure out how to make the dirty world ideal first. What's the meditation? What's the technique? What's the video that I need to watch? How many more videos? I just need to figure it out. Something is missing in my calculation. I just need to figure it out. I just need to figure it out. So, what I'm going to do is watch a thousand hours of David Goggins and try to internalize his thing because if I can be like David Goggins, then I can run a marathon, right? I need to figure out David Goggins's secret. What is the secret of David Goggins? How do I make it so that pain is something that I love? How do I do that? How do I love to endure pain? And if you sort of think about it, that's the problem is you want to love to endure pain instead of enduring pain even though it sucks. They're stuck in their idealization.

Okay. So what do we do about this? There's one other area that we have to talk about, which is relational. Okay. Okay. So let's take a look at so there are a couple of things that we have to understand about the anima and the animus. Okay. So, one thing that I talked about, basically what we've covered so far is when I lop off part of who I am, that part will circle back around and kind of like take control of the other half. So, either I will be hyperlogical on the outside, really engaging with the external world, but I'll be incredibly moody, incredibly sensitive, and have a super fragile ego. The anima actually controlling my life without my knowledge, right? And that's why like if you pay attention to some of these like manosphere influencers, and I'm not like anti-manosphere here, I'm I'm just using these caricatures. They're caricatures, right? They're like sometimes like you kind of like look at these people like they're not confident. They're like little [ __ ] right? They like appear confident, and it's really important for them to continue to appear confident, but they're not actually confident. If they were confident, they would be able to, the range of things that they could do would be like way higher, right? But they can't do certain things like they c they can't like deign to like fly economy, that makes them a loser, right? And what is where is loser? Loser is on the inside. And then there's the possessed. Sorry, that's anima possessed. Then there's the animus possessed, where I'm stuck in a world of feeling, and all of my logic is coming out in the world of feeling, in idealization, in fantasy.

So there's another option. Okay. So when we are lopped off and disconnected, there's basically like a couple of different ways we can do this. This energy has to go somewhere. So option number one is, let's say anima disconnected. So one way that my animus can get discon, one way that my anima manifests, it has to go somewhere. So it can go through the animus, and then I end up as a successful little [ __ ]. That's what I become. Kind of like a little [ __ ], but I'm really successful. I have a lot of money. I have a lot of success. And another good example of this is the ball-busting female CEO, right? She's still hyper sensitive to criticism. She has to be number one. She's the anima really running her life. She's hyper masculine. The other place that when we don't have room for our own, the other thing that we can do is project it onto someone else. Okay. So, we're going to take a look at what that looks like. So, this other person can contain it. Okay. Okay.

So basically what happens, I'm going to explain this first, then we'll we'll look at the text. Okay. So I'm going to project it. So I don't have room for my anima energy. So my anima energy, I'm going to project out into someone else. So what I try to do is find a vessel that is the perfect. So this is like basically, and this goes vice versa, right? So if I'm locked off from my animus, if I'm way in touch with my feelings, what I look for is a a partner, a romantic partner who can embody my animus. So, I'm going to be at home, I'm going to cook, I'm going to clean, I'm going to feel, I'm I'm going to feel, I'm going to nurture, I'm going to be spiritual. And I want you to go out into the world. And you're going to be the breadwinner. You're going to be the conflict person. You're going to be the fighter. You're going to be the protector. You're gonna I'm gonna find the perfect man for my, and this I'm gendering this, but it doesn't have to be. I'm gonna find the perfect man for my animus energy. So basically I'm gonna find another human being to do all the external work for me. On the flip side is I'm going to find another human being to do all the internal work for me. I ain't going to nurture anything. I ain't going to feel anything. I'm going to let the feeling being be handled by that person. Literally like this is like what Jungian archetypes, they manifest in our relationship. So we transfer this energy to someone else, and that energy, hold that person, holds that energy. Now, here's the problem is that what I'm looking for is a perfect version. So when we look at the anima archetype, often for these people, it is like the perfect person, right? And it's like this too. Have you guys heard of anyone who focuses on finding the perfect partner who embodies all of these qualities, who is perfectly nurturing, perfectly available? Yeah, I want the mother of my kids to be a virgin because virgins are pure, right? They want a perfect version of this. They want the purest woman. They want the most manly man, the man who has the most houses and most of these things. Most, most, most, most, most. And then what happens is we engage in someone, and then we meet someone, and if we are not plugged into our own anima or animus, we will project that out onto them. And this is why we fall so deeply in love with them so quickly. "Oh my god, she's perfect. Oh my god, he's perfect. He's everything. He's this, and he's this, and he's this, and he's this. Oh my god, he's everything that I've, everything that is missing in my life. He completes me. She completes me. She's my other half. He's my other half." Why are you so desperate for another half? Because you're only a half of a person. You're looking for your other half because you're not a whole human. And when you are not a whole human, you become incredibly vulnerable to finding your other half. And then you project this on. "Oh my god, dude. She's so great. Oh my god. I've been I've been standing in silence for four or five years watching her, waiting for her to realize how great I am. She's perfection incarnate. She's Aphrodite reincarnated on the world. She's beautiful and caring and all of these things. Oh my god, she's amazing." It has an élan quality to it. And then there becomes a problem because when I engage in a relationship with that person, they cannot live up to the projection of my mind. Right? I'm relying on this person to do the feeling for me. But another human being can never truly make me content. A lot of men will seek a woman to bring them inner peace. "If I find a woman that I don't have to worry about her cheating, and I don't have to worry about this, and I don't have to worry about this, and she's going to take care of my house, she's going to make me feel a certain way. I'm going to come inside, and I'm going to be the master of my castle, and I will be content because I've conquered the internal world, and she will be here in the ex in the in my home. She'll take care of everything. I I can relax. I can trust her." Right? And then, "Oh my god, this [ __ ] she comes to me and she's like, 'Hey, my friends are having a bachelorette party in Vegas.'" And then what do I say to her? I say, "That's what [ __ ] do." Because now she's shattering the image. "Oh my god. Because she could be out there, and because I'm insecure, I can't have her being approached by other men. Can't have that happening. No, she needs to stay home. She needs to know her place. She needs to do these things that make me feel a certain way, right? I can't have her expressing any masculine energy when she tries to do something in the external world, when she expresses dissatisfaction with her place, when she wants to go and do something in the outside world. We can't have that [ __ ] bro. You got to tell your [ __ ] where she needs to be. You got to teach her her place because she I need her to handle the work of two, right? So, if she's doing my feeling and she's doing her feeling, I'm going to do the work of two, and she's going to do the work of two. I'm going to handle all the external stuff for her. I'm going to my career is so going to be so good that I don't need her career." And it's not just dudes, by the way, right? This can be reversed for the woman. "I'm going to do all the feeling. I don't want to do any of the external stuff. A man should provide. A man should treat you like a princess. My life should just be feeling. It should just be feeling great 24/7. That's my job. My job is to feel. My job is to feel great. My job is to be the ideal feminine. My job is to be beautiful. And that's what I bring to the relationship. I ain't going to work. I ain't going to deal with the muddiness of the external world. I'm not going to degrade myself to order my own food. That's going to be your job. You take care of that. And if you can't handle my feminine energy, if you can't handle me at my worst, you don't deserve me at my best. I don't need to get better. I'm feeling. That's just the way that I feel. I can't control it. It's feelings. That's just the way that I felt in that moment. Yeah. The reason that, you know, I I had an affair was to manage his fragile masculine ego. I knew it would hurt him so much if I told him, so I kept it private. It's a life of feeling and a differentiation, a separation. We

Look for this partner who fulfills us because we can't get that ourselves. Okay. So, um, uh, okay. The guide, nod, intermediary, then becomes the bearer of the representative. I'm representative of the animus image. In other words, the animus is projected on him. So I project. If I am severed from my animus, I will project my animus onto the person that I'm dating. Okay. Oh, okay. So let's talk about animus. So animus is low, anima is high. So either my animus goes over here and causes possession, or my animus goes over here and I project it onto someone, and then they hold it. Right? This is where my animus goes. So they are now animus times two. So let's see how that goes.

As long as the projection succeeds, succeeds, that is, as long as it's, I'm, as long as it's the image corresponds to a certain degree with the bearer, there's no real conflict. This is what's really fascinating. So, if I can find, if I'm a woman who's looking for a hyper-masculine man, and I'm a hyper-feminine woman, I can transmit my animus to them, and they're happy to be hyper-masculine. So, flip side, they're happy to have a partner who's hyper-feminine. So, we're just going to split the work, and I'm going to do all the masculine work. You're going to do all the feminine work. There's no real conflict, right? This can actually work out fine. This can be harmonious.

On the contrary, this state of affairs seems to be, in a certain sense, perfect, especially when the man who is the spiritual intermediary is also at the same time perceived as a human being to whom one has a positive human relationship. If such a projection can be permanently established, this migration, called this, might be called an ideal relationship. Ideal because it is without conflict, but the woman remains unconscious. So this is what's so interesting, right? Emma Jung says, and it's almost like weird. It's almost like she's saying, "This seems perfect." And it's like, "Hold on a second. Do we live in a world where people are telling us this is the perfect way to be?" Interesting. Did she watch it? Does she Is she on the manosphere, trad-wife, feminist, pink pill algorithm? Is that Is that part of her algorithm? Is that where she learned this? She's been watching all this stuff where people are basically saying, "Find the perfect traditional wife and you'll be the happiest man on the planet." Or, "Find a man who pays for your nails and does this and does this and does this and does this." Is that Is that I I got confused there for a second. Is that what's going on?

Okay. But she notices says a couple of things. Um, this purports to be a perfect animus relationship. The people who do this are often, uh, troubled with nervous or bodily symptoms. Very often anxiety states appear, sleeplessness, general nervousness, physical ills such as headaches and other pains, disturbances in vision, occasionally lung infections. Okay, I can attest to this. This may be a little bit outside of y'all's experience, but when I work with men and women who have, and I didn't realize this back then because this was like back when I was seeing, you know, a hundred patients a month, I would see so much of chronic fatigue syndrome, right? Weird psychological problems, headaches, migraines, this weird psychosomatic stuff. And often times, in retrospect, my light bulb would go off in my brain. Oh my god, what were their relationships like? Yes, absolutely. There was one partner who came in and was the anima embodied, all of the feeling. Life was dictated by the feelings. They couldn't work because they were sick. And their partner is embodying the animus, doing all of the work, scheduling the appointments, providing for the family, right? They're doing all of the external work. That person is going through caregiver burnout because they're not connected to their own internal feeling. They also are terrified of being emotionally manipulated because the they're married to a vampire who is sucking their life dry, and they feel incredibly guilty about it because their vampire partner is sick. So, I'm not allowed to blame them. I can't blame them. I can't acknowledge my own feelings. They get to do all the feeling. I get to do all of the work. Seen this dynamic a thousand times. And this is what's tricky as a psychiatrist. This is where we have to be clear. When I'm saying this, it's very easy to blame the person. This is all unconscious, right? So what is the purpose of psychotherapy for these people? It's not to make the psychotherapy make their pain go away. It is to help them engage in life, develop some degree of agency. They don't like being that way too. They actually do enjoy work. They just can't because they're suffering intensely. That's the work that we have to do. Some amount of symptomatic management. Maybe we need to do gut dysbiosis thing. Reduce their gut inflammation. There's a lot of medical stuff that can actually be done. And that's what I really love about working with these people is like, it's not all in their head, and they're not doing it for attention. This dynamic is propagated just as much by the caregiver as the person who is receiving the care. Right.

I got a random story. So one time I got consulted on the neurology service for a young woman with nonepileptiform seizures. These are called pseudo seizures. And so, woman was completely disabled and was there, or maybe she was about 19 or 20, there with her parents. Parents had had all kinds of trouble getting her to stay in school and things like that. And then she started having like a pseudo seizure in the room. I was asking her some questions and I was like, "So help me understand, like, how often do they happen? You know, like, help me understand a little bit about how you feel about not being able to go to college. Like, what's that like for you?" And I think subconsciously, she didn't she didn't like the questions that I was asking her. So she started doing this, and it was a pseudo seizure. It's a created seizure. Really simple test that you can do. You can pick up the arm that they're seizing on the hospital bed. You pick up the arm and you hold it above their head. If they're really seizing, it'll smack them in the face and it'll hurt. If they're pseudo seizing, that's what happens. So, I make the mistake of administering this test. And so, she's seizing. I pick up the arm. I drop it. Goes over here. But now everybody in the room knows that the game is up. So, what does she start doing? She starts seizing harder, starts flopping around. And then both of the parents put their bodies on top of her and literally contain her. They can't handle, like, it's like, "Oh my." And they panic and they're like, "What is it? What? It's so bad. It's so bad. It's so bad." And I was like, "This is the problem." They have gone out of their way so intensely. Like they're literally holding her down. And then afterward, we're talking about it, they're like, "Yeah, we have to do this." Like, several times a day, and we have to quit, and I like, I can't go to work, and I can't do this, and it's like tearing apart our life. And I was like, "You guys have to stop." I didn't say that, but in my mind, I was like, "This has to stop." They have taken the responsibility from her. They are becoming their animus. So this is on the consult service. So I had a brilliant attending on the consult service who then told me this, which you guys may have heard me say before. The doctor who who goes the extra mile for a patient goes a mile too far. When you start doing someone else's work for them, they stop doing it themselves. This is the relational problem of anima. And I'm not saying that you can't have a healthy co-working relationship where you have a division of labor, but this is why, like, how do you tell the difference? This is about your animus and your anima. So, is your capability of interacting with the external world sufficiently met? You don't have to have a job. You don't have to have a career. But if you are a homemaker, are you the most analytical, organized, driven, creative, accomplishing homemaker out there? Or is your idea of homemaking sitting around on a couch and browsing social media for 12 hours a day while maids, chefs, and everyone else takes care of everything? Where is your energy to accomplish in the external world actually going? Right? And on the flip side, if you're someone who someone else, you, you know, you're married to a partner who handles a lot of the emotional work, does the funerals, does the birthdays, things like that, are you still doing your own emotional work? Are you learning how to meditate? Are you going to go camping even by yourself for like a week and get in touch with yourself? Are you reading books about alexithymia and going to therapy? Are you doing some amount of inner work that is fulfilling? Because unless you do it, it's going to get messed up.

Okay. Such a total transference of the animus image as that described above creates, together with an apparent satisfaction and completeness, a kind of compulsive tie to the man in question and dependence on him that often increases to the point of becoming unbearable. Okay. So often times what happens when we have this kind of animus-anima projection is that, and you guys may have felt this, this is where the caregiver burnout comes in. When someone projects their anima or animus onto you, when a woman does all of, and this is becoming big on social media is big, right? So all this emotional labor, the hidden emotional labor that women do. "I'm married to a man that is emotionally like a child." And people get fed up with it. They're like, "I can't handle all of your emotional stuff all the time. You gotta handle some of it. You got to get your ass to therapy, bro. I'm happy to help out, but this is becoming some kind of weird dependence. Like you're basically a man-child. I can't handle this anymore." The projection starts to fall apart because you have this idealized. You have this idealized animus, and another human being can't hold it. Okay.

However, projection means not only the transference of an image to another person but also the activities that go with it. So that a man who to whom the animus image has been transferred is expected to take over all the functions that have remained undeveloped in the woman in question, whether the thinking function or the power to act or the responsibility towards the outside world. In turn, the woman upon whom a man has projected his anima must feel for him or make relationships for him. And this symbiotic relationship, in my opinion, is the real cause of compulsive dependence that exists in these cases. Okay. The state of the completely successful projection is usually not of a very long duration. Then the incongruity between the image and the image bearer often becomes all too obvious. Okay. So, like I said, this doesn't last forever.

So, now here's a here's a Oh, there's a super chat. Hold on. Let me see. Okay, hold on. Okay, so here's the other thing. Okay. So, now I'm going to ask, maybe you guys read the highlighted portion. Hello. Hola. Okay. What is an anima-animus? Rewind two hours for the answer. That's right. Okay. So, here you guys may have read this, but what happens next? This is what I love about Emma Jung. Okay. So when someone does not live up to our expectations, the ideal man can't be ideal. My boyfriend can't be the ideal man. My girlfriend can't be the ideal woman. What happens next when the projection starts falling apart? Can y'all guess? This is so great. This is explained so much. Double down in what way? In what way? Break up. Okay, that's one option. Is break up and go to another perfect person? Compromise is not an option. Turn on them. Turn on them in what way? Projection into another person. Leave them. That's an option. That happens, right? We're going to move on to somebody else. Protest, devaluation, resentment. Look for. There we go. Aiden 999. When this discrimination between the image and the person sets in, we become aware to our great in to our great confusion, disappointment that the man who seemed to embody our image, this is supposed to be the perfect man, does not correspond to it in the least, but continually behaves quite differently from the way we think he should. At first, we perhaps try to deceive ourselves about this and often succeed relatively easily, thanks to an aptitude for erasing differences, right? We talk ourselves out of it. Number one, "Oh, it's not that bad." We start to cut them slack. They may not be the person I thought that they were, but h I'm going to kind of ignore it. That's something we do a lot in relationships, right? Which we owe to our blurred powers of discrimination. We start to ignore red flags. We ignore warning signs. Often times, we try with real cunning, this is my favorite, to make the man be what we think he ought to represent. Not only do we consciously exert force or pressure, far more frequently, we quite unconsciously force our partner by our behavior into archetypal or animus reactions. Naturally, the same holds good for the man in his attitude towards the woman. He too would like to see her in the image that floats before him. And by this wish, which works like a suggestion, he may bring it about that she does not live her real self, but becomes an anima figure. Okay, this the fact that they mutually constantly forms one of the worst complications in the relations between men and women. So what do we do? They become the project. "I can fix him." They are not living up to my animus representations. Oh my god, this guy really I need to make sure my husband applies for that promotion. He's not as ambitious as I want. Let me make him ambitious. Let me do it consciously. Let me do it unconsciously. This woman is not, oh my god, I I said, you know, now that we're having kids, she wants to continue her career, but I really think she should stay home. That's the kind of, you know, and and then what do we do? We make it for the kids. Oh, yeah. Think about our children. Who is going to take better care of our children than me or you? Who else on the planet loves them as much as I do, as much as you do? You're so nurturing. You're so caring. Give up your career. No one else can do it as good as you can. They become the project. Have we seen this in relationships? Have y'all ever been in a relationship where the person that you're dating doesn't think you are manly enough or womanly enough and subtly, either by overt pressure or covert pressure, starts to make comments, starts to follow certain girls on Instagram, right? Threatens you, pushes you, manipulates you, starts to recommend, "Hey, here's a podcast about making more money. Maybe you should check it out. Hey, my brother has a friend who's actually like in the same field that you're in and he's at a really successful company. Maybe you should talk to him. Maybe you can become more like that person. Maybe you can become more like that person." 100 years ago, Emma Jung, and today she's a prophet. Okay. Okay.

So, and so then another important question is, okay, but like, how do we differentiate between like healthy encouragement and the anima and animus problem? Right? So, so the healthy encouragement is totally fine. Suggestions are totally fine. The question is, who is doing your satisfying for you? Right? And I've seen this like, there are weird versions of this enmeshment and projection. So a good example is, you know, I once had a patient who was training for the Olympics, got pregnant, dropped out of college, and then when she had a daughter, she's going to make her daughter train for the Olympics from the get-go. Really, really nasty woman, honestly. And the patient was actually the daughter, and just really, "You ruined my, you ruined my life. You ruined my dreams." So you're going to fulfill my dreams in your life, is basically what it came to. "I gave up my career. I gave up my hopes when I got pregnant with you. I could have aborted you, and I didn't. And this is what you owe me in return." Okay. So what do we see? This is an extreme example. But what do we see in that example? We see that this person does not have their own needs met. So if this person is fulfilled and is encouraging her daughter to go to the Olympics, that's fine. There's a certain tenacity to the animus problem. There's a certain, "You got to change. I need you to change. I can't be fulfilled why you're such a [ __ ] sitting at home not getting promoted. It is my fulfillment that I am getting through you. You are doing this work for me. You are my proxy. You are my agent. You are my projected image. I need you to live up to that projected image. I I'm tired. I've done all the mental gymnastics, all the blurring of my powers of discrimination that I can manage. I really need you to change because I gave up my own career. I need you to be number one. When I hang out with my friends and they have yachts and private jets, I'm tired of driving a Toyota Sienna. I want to drive a Bentley. So, you need to get your ass on that. This was the deal, right? I need you to be this way. Flip side, I need you to get bigger tits. I need you to get Botox. I need you to do this. By the way, the girls are getting that. This person's wife got bigger. I mean, this person's wife got bigger tits. This other buddy of mine, you know, his his partner had a boob job, too. Overt or covert. What does she have that I don't have? Bigger tits. Okay.

So, what to do? So, this ran a little bit longer than I wanted, but we're going to talk about constellation. Okay. Um, so how do you fix this? Okay. So, if we want to fix this, what we need to do is have a balance between anima and animus. Okay. We're going to speed. I think we'll have to do a part two on memberships that includes spirituality and stuff, which I'll talk about in a minute. But so the first thing is to understand. We basically need an integration of these two things. But how do we achieve that integration? We achieve that integration by, if we look at the root of it. Okay. So remember that the the root of it is anima is down, so animus is up. And this fuels the whole thing, right? So if we look at this diagram, like all of them start with this, right? And then it can go this way, it can go this way, it can go all of these different ways, but it always starts with this. You guys see this? This is the core. So, anima is down, or anima is up, and animus is down. So the core way to fix all of these things is to balance this out. Because the moment this dynamic goes away, all of the other patterns, the projection, the trading in your boyfriend or girlfriend for a newer model, the trying to fix them, turning them into a project, being attracted to someone who's hyper-masculine and then treats you like [ __ ], being attracted to a woman who's hyper-feminine and treats you like [ __ ] because you're missing something and this person completes you. Compulsively falling in love with people, compulsively falling in love with people. All this stuff falls apart if you can be content within yourself. And that contentment involves a balancing of these two forces. But the balancing of these two forces is done in this way. It's really cool. She even says it. This is on page 23. Let's see. Okay. So, this is beautiful. When a man discovers his anima and has to come to terms with it, he has to take up something which previously seemed inferior to him. Right? Then, two, our laws show clearly how w. Yeah. So then too, our laws show clearly how widely the concept of women's inferiority has prevailed. Even now, in many places, the law frankly sets the man above the woman, gives him greater privileges, and makes her guardian, makes him her guardian, and so on. So basically, here's the problem with that. If we look at our society, we this is a society where Excel spreadsheets and ROI matter more than feelings, right? Uh, actually, let me read this. I I like this better. Okay. So, um, uh, the inability to realize the discernment, reason, reasonableness, and objectivity are inappropriate in some places is often astonishing. We believe a masculine objective attitude to be better in every case than a feminine and personal one. Right? So this is a little bit dated, but I still think holds somewhat true. But like the idea that why do you want to do this? Because I feel like it is inferior to a data-driven one. Logic is superior to emotions. External status is superior. Ambition is superior to contentment. Right? So if we look at the attitude, the basic problem of the anima and the animus, it's that we denigrate the anima. We say women are inferior. The woman's way of doing things is is worse than the man's way of doing things. We are data-driven. We are focused. We are analytical. We're logical. We're not doing things based on feelings. You can't trust that instinct is inferior to data. Intuition is inferior to data. So the work, in a nutshell, of constellating your anima, what it feels like, this is what I like about what Emma Jung says, it is lowering yourself. It is debasing yourself. It is this thing that you used to think was inferior. You have to descend towards it. You have to embrace that which is weakness. Get in touch with your feelings. No, bro. Only [ __ ] get in touch with their feelings, bro. I ain't getting in touch with my feelings. I'm going to conquer feelings. I'm not going to listen to them. I'm going to beat them into a pulp. My feelings ain't going to touch me. Only [ __ ] get in touch with their feelings. Only weak people go to therapy. Therapy is for losers. Get in touch with your feelings is for losers. I want to know how I'm going to get a yacht. How am I going to fly private? That's what matters. I want people lining up out the door. I can get in touch with my feelings. So the interesting thing is that if you are struggling from this problem, what you're going to have to do, the feeling, the the work is going to feel debasing. You are going to make yourself inferior. That's what you actually have to do. You have to do the thing that makes you inferior. You have to become a [ __ ]. You have to embrace it. Embrace being a loser. Embrace being a beta. Embrace all of the things that you denigrate. Because if we want to get integrated, what we need is like not to have this separation. And separation means you are up here. You need to go down here. You need to move down there. But this is if you have the this is descending to the level of right. So this is if you have animus hyperactive. If you're like status-oriented and ambition-oriented and goal-oriented and you think feelings are for noobs, right? And then even I I see a subtle version of this which is like the animus orientation for people who go to therapy to be done with their feelings. They acknowledge, okay, feelings get in the way, so let me go fix my feelings and I'll be done with my feelings. They don't have an inherent value. They're just a problem that needs to be fixed. And once they're a problem that needs to be fixed, my upward trajectory, my ambition, all that stuff becomes easy. Done with those feelings, finished with them. Sure, I'll go to therapy, but to get rid of them. They don't have any inherent value. I'm not going to start listening to them. Right? I'm going to do mindfulness to make myself 10% happier. I'm going to do mindfulness to improve my attention span. I'm going to do mindfulness. I'm going to do meditation to lower my cortisol levels, improve my inflammation. All this kind of stuff. Mindfulness is a tool to be utilized in the juggernaut of my ambition. I want more in life. And meditating gives me more. I can play less. I can read more books. My attention improves. I can sleep less. My physical health improves. My cortisol level gets better. My atherosclerosis level really slows down because my cortisol is lower. Now I will live, be able to live longer. I'll be able to live for 100 years instead of 80. And I'll get to do more stuff. All in the service of my ambition. This is not anima integration. This is not anima constellation. For the anima to have value, meditate to realize your true self. Meditate to cultivate inner peace. You guys have seen me interview a lot of people. Lacy's one of them, right? So that's the most recent one. Hey, if I gave you a pill to make you content, would you take it? Hell no. Not at all. Right? Lacy's great, dude. Right. This is the problem. You give people a pill to make them content. Would they take it? No. Feelings don't have intrinsic value. You must elevate the value of feelings. Let me go to therapy so that I can be content in myself. And if I am content in myself, then I can handle the judgment of other people. Let me be free and independent. Let my internal emotional state not be dependent on the way that people react to me. Let me have the freedom of tolerating the courage to be disliked. I courage is one thing. Contentment is what I go for. Let me be content enough to be disliked. Hey, you dislike me. That's on you, right? That's anima integration.

What about animus constellation? So this is where once again, when we have when we're caught up in our anima, the external world becomes dirty, becomes muddy, isn't very good, right? I don't want to debase myself to like interact. I don't want to fill out applications. Oh my god, like, do I want to learn quantum mechanics? Yeah, but I'm not going to like study for the GRE and then take the GRE and then apply to 40 places and then what if I don't get into MIT or Harvard or Stanford or the other other prestigious places? What if I get into like, you know, community like like El Paso Community College for a PhD? Oh my god, like I can't lower myself to do that. So in animus constellation, the main goal, the main yeah, main thing that you have to do is once again, lower yourself. Remember, in both cases, one is above the other. You have to debase yourself to go and stand in line and fill out applications with the plebs. This idealization, this world that you live in over here, you have to abandon that world and realize that life is is messed up, that life is muddy, life is imperfect. Life is not going to work out the way that it does in your head. And then these people have a basic problem. They're not willing to do that. "I don't want that. What I'm going to keep doing is keep spinning my wheels in a relatively unproductive fashion until I figure it out. Because once I figure it out, it'll be easy. Then I will be brilliant and it'll be easy. It's not enough for me to be brilliant. It's not enough for me to be accomplished. I have to be effortlessly accomplished." The real world is h Oh my god. The real world is so Oh my god, I just can't handle it. Oh my god. Like people are just like, "Oh my god, can you handle people? Can you believe people? Oh my god." I just wait in line so long, and then I have to do this application, and it's going to cost me $250, and the application cost $250, which means I have to work this many extra shifts, and even if I work all these extra shifts and I apply for this place, it's not even guaranteed that I'm going to get in. How do I guarantee that I'm going to get in? Then I'll work. They have a very conditional way of thinking about the real world. They're not willing to invest anything and get nothing in return. They want to keep figuring things out until the ideal in their head matches the reality. And if they keep tinkering, right? So this is sort of where the weird thing is that the animus kind of gets injected into the all of the logic is in a fantasy in your head. Instead of trying to do logic and actually going out into the world and using that faculty for iterative improvement in the real world, they're just always in their head, always learning, always churning, never improving. So they too have to debase themselves to join the rest of us in line at the DMV where you wait for 138 minutes and then the person says, "Oh yeah, this is the wrong location. You're registering this car in a different county. You have to go to that location." And that's just one day. This happens a 100 days out of the year. Things get lost in the mail. You have to start sending things by certified mail. You have to go to the USPS and wait in line to send it by certified mail. Right now, you're applying for a job. They have an AI interview. This is what you have to do. And people like, "I don't want to do that. The world sucks." Yeah, I get you. The world does suck. Right? It's challenging because here's the thing about the anima and the animus. Neither of them are wrong. That's the other thing that I think Jung talks about that's really good is it's not that these things are not true. They're just like not applicable 100%. Or there are other variables in the equation. The world does suck, and you still have to engage with it if you want to accomplish something. And here's the thing that people who have unconstellated animus and animas don't realize is that when you have a constellated animus, you pay the price of living life. Absolutely. But the joy that you get is astronomical. You get fulfillment, right? So instead of living in a fantasy life in your head, like sure, you started out at El Paso Community College, but then you did get a paper published, and you did work really hard, and you do go to a conference, and you present something, and you do get a postdoc opportunity at Stanford or UC Berkeley or Queens College in London, right? Right? And then you end up moving there. And then you do meet someone who's not perfect, but who you enjoy being with, who is constellated in their own anima and animus. And then you guys are two whole complete human beings living an imperfect life together. And you're kind of in love, and you're supporting each other. And then everything is good. And then you start to find a joy in life, a contentment in life because you are not stuck in your it's so stuck in your internal being. You have some amount of external and internal balance. So even if the animus isn't doesn't get everything that it wants, even if your external life is imperfect, you have enough internal vibrancy, you have enough internal awareness, internal being, spiritual connection to where you're okay with it, and you are still happy. You're not chasing external things. You're not caught up in internal things. There is a balance. There is a constellation. There is a combining of these two forces to form something else. That's what constellation means. It's like we have all these separate parts. We're going to put them together to make like a a new picture. And that is constellated animus. That's the goal. And in both cases, you have to lower yourself, but in in different directions. One is to lower yourself to the world. The other is to lower yourself to embrace that which you thought was inferior.

Now, the other wild thing about anima-animus. So this is really interesting. So, as I've gotten into Jung, part of the reason, the original reason I got into Jung is because he is the psychoanalyst that has some of the first lectures on Indian spirituality. So, my the first book that I got by Jung is a book on on Kundalini Yoga and a Yang analysis, a set of lectures. So, I think there's one thing that Jung missed. So one of the things that he was kind of saying is that these archetypes are like somewhat, he'll even like connect them to the chakras. And so the one thing that I think Jung missed, which I'm I'm putting together is a spiritual practice to directly target the archetype. That's what the yogis were good at. The tantric. Here is the practice. Here's what you do in order to fix this problem. So they understand really well from a psychological perspective what is the hurdle that you need to overcome. But what does debasing yourself look like? Does it mean journaling? Does it mean applying for a job? It can mean all those things in the external world. The one thing that is a little bit interesting is if you look at archetypes and the theory of archetypes, they're deep within us. There are a couple of very interesting um parallels. So one example of an archetype principle from an archetype is that if you do not properly constellate your archetype, that which is potential becomes poison. Right? So if you don't live up to your potential, it's not neutral, it's harmful. So either you live up to your potential, or you suffer the burden of being a failed potential. It's either or. That energy has to go somewhere. It will either manifest in the positive plane, or it'll manifest in the negative plane. And in yogic theory, there's a really interesting idea which is we have this thing called Amrit, which is created here at the top of our our at the crown chakra. And this is like a divine power that drips down. And when it drips through the Vishuddha chakra, one of two things happens. If it is not digested properly, it goes down to the Mooladhara chakra, and our potential becomes manifest as an addiction. The striving for something, the wanting to accomplish something becomes damaging. So if you guys look at the the imagery of Neil Kant. What? Okay. This is like people don't know. Dude, where's the Let me just do this. Dude, where's purple throat and Shiva? Dude, what is up with this? Yeah, you can kind of see it here. Okay. So Shiva has a blue throat. You guys see this thing in the pit of his stomach? I mean, first, sorry, pit of his throat. So there's like even this principle in for Shiva that in the Vishuddha chakra, he like holds poison, and the stuff that descends down, it becomes poison over here if it's not constellated properly. So your potential will become something that is not just neutral. You'll become depressed about your potential. Your capacity for greatness becomes the source of your depression. This is what the yogi said. And so big part of like the spiritual work of depression, this is like when I work with people who are depressed, it's like, okay, I understand we got to talk about your feelings, but how can we give you accomplishment? How can you be proud of what you want to do? What is that thing that you're passionate about? Make something of it. And that's when I see depression get way better, is not just in managing your emotions, but in taking that energy that is feeding your depression because you did not live up to your expectations. You did not live up to your potential. You have actually gotten on track, off track. You've become a has-been. You peaked back then. And one of the things I hate about being a psychiatrist is the sort of idea that let that that I was taught, and not by all of my mentors, but this idea that, okay, when someone peaked in high school, we should help them grieve. And it's like, sure, that is useful, but let's also help them achieve. Let's show them that you actually didn't peak in high school. Let's help them accomplish something so that they can be proud. That works so well for depression, as well as the cognitive behavioral stuff and the automatic thoughts and the grieving is all important. It's not that that that psychiatry is incomp it's not that psychiatry is wrong. I think that it's incomplete in this way, which is part of the reason we went into coaching and all that kind of stuff because that's focused on achievement, right? So this weird spiritual stuff, which by the way, we taught a practice for puer, which I now have steps two and three on. We're going to have to do a follow-up lecture on this, but I'm becoming so I had this theory some time ago that there are yogic practices that will directly target each archetype, meditative practices. And so we're going to focus a little bit more on that spiritual angle and the connection between spirit uh spiritual and anima-animus, which by the way, is kind of a no-brainer, but if ever you wanted to see a spiritual practice about animus, here it is, right? So this is already embodied. What is Shiva is often seen as pure masculinity. Yet in Ardhanarishvara, half of him is fully developed as a woman as Parvati. We have both masculine and feminine within us. In the balancing of these energies, there is a set of spiritual practices that is designed to balance these energies within us. And this is where it's like, I mean, I can't say this with confidence because I haven't seen randomized control trials, but it's like, there is no doubt in my mind. I admit that just because there's no doubt doesn't mean I'm correct, but there is no doubt in my mind that the practices that cultivate the Ardhanarishvara energy will absolutely help anima-animus. Right? They had this concept, and the person who came up with the concept of anima-animus was heavily influenced by these theories, but the yogis never did psychoanalysis. They never did psychotherapy. They didn't care. So Jung understood this stuff, did his own work, and combined the two. These primordial forces of be mantra, right? We have this concept of primordial forces that will manifest or not manifest, or will manifest in a positive way or a negative. This is what we call bij mantra. The problem was that Jung hadn't practiced, right? So he actually was, it's interesting, he was very avoidant of certain teachers and certain kinds of practices. So there's an element, this is what Western psychology misses, which we sort of touch on with things like DBT and and stuff like that, is that these spiritual practices can be done for psychological change, right? All right. And it's sort of touched on like if you look at right knowledge and wrong knowledge and all that kind of stuff. Um, does that make sense? So that's going to be part two. Um, Sussy Littlebach is asking, "Do you think you show more bias towards your cultural truths? It sounds a lot like a post-hoc rationalization." Obviously, I think I'm human, and so I'm going to be biased towards particular things, including the cultures that I grew up in. The way that I manage that bias is by looking at some truths, right? There is one spiritual tradition which has been scientifically demonstrated to have profound mental health benefits. There's really only one that has been studied to this extent. There have been tons of studies done on prayer. They don't touch meditation. So while I am biased, there's also like a lot of evidence in favor of it. So these two things are not mutually exclusive. Just because there is evidence in favor of it doesn't mean that I'm not biased, right? Both of these things can happen. Um, and and and and this is this is where like this is why I try to be like clear, right? So I mean, I'll even make the statement. So the the way to deal with bias is to acknowledge it. So I said like, hey, look, I have never seen an RCT that are the Narishwar oriented practices will fix the animus complex. I am like also 100% sure, could be wrong, that no one has ever done a study on Ardhanarishvara spiritual practices for people diagnosed with anima possession and animus possession. Like I'm like 100% confident that that study has never been done. It's just so wild, like who would ever do that study? We are so many steps away from that trial. The problem is that just because it has not been studied does not mean it isn't effective. So this is what I've seen as a clinician is as a clinician when I teach some of these concepts, they tend to work out really well from a clinical perspective. Okay. Okay. Um, all right. So, yeah. Okay. We're going to take one or two questions. Um, and then we're going to we're going to show you all something cool that we're working on. Have your religious beliefs changed about beliefs that you posted a while ago? Not really, but I I I I think let me be clear about that. So, this this video has evoked a lot of stuff, right? So, I was like, hey, I'm getting kind of pulled into nihilism, but being pulled into nihilism is not the same as being in nihilism. So as I learn more about neuroscience, as I as I read all these papers that are very materialistic in orientation, biologically reductionist, about the nature of free will and stuff like that, that shapes my thinking. And then I have a crisis of like, okay, hold on a second. I've done all the spiritual work, but look at all of these scientific papers and look at all these papers from philosophy and theories of consciousness and stuff like that. Look at all these people saying, hey, all the spiritual stuff is BS. And then that creates doubt in my mind, which I embrace. Like people are like, "Yeah, are you biased?" Yes. But the way to deal with that bias is to not shove those kinds of things away. To actually embrace the doubt. Hey, maybe maybe I'm wrong. Maybe I've been suckered in by the cult of yoga and meditation. I have to I have to embrace that. Can high anima and alexithymia be a thing? I think absolutely. Right? Because more So here's what is. Anima is an internal orientation. It is when you are too caught up in that which is inside you. But that anima, especially when it is animus possessed, is an internal orientation towards logic. You're stuck in here. Often times, people who have this problem will be very, very sensitive to certain emotions, but they'll be stuck thinking in their head. I'm not uh specifically familiar with the Vajrayana version of Ardhanarishvara, ultimate compassion with ultimate wisdom. That makes sense, right? It maps on to Ardhanarishvara. But that's what you're going to see in Vajrayana. You're going to see a development of some of these concepts that are actually more developed. Um, what if you depended on your animus but got traumatized? So now you stay in in an anima dominant mode, but your anima is inexperienced or weak. I don't know if I understand that framing. I would be super careful about applying that kind of framing, right? So So if you're in anima dominant mode, it's hard for it to be weak. It's just imbalanced. So, it it's good that you guys are playing around with these concepts, but I'd be a little bit careful about that kind of like mapping on. Red Rebel Goliath. What do you advise for a woman with ADHD struggling with severe executive dysfunction? I'm trying to help her, but I do not know what to do when I'm not there. I think that helping someone who struggles is always a good thing to do. but also you're not responsible for them. Right? So I I think that ultimately the right thing to do for severe executive function is treatment and supporting your friend getting into treatment is the most important thing. Uh, what resources are there for learning are you sure for balancing or animas? I've never seen them and I'm making them. That's what I have. That's what I'm working on. Okay. Have you read Autobiography of a Yogi? Yeah, I think it's a good very good introductory. It's a very good introductory book into yoga, sort of, but I think it also misses a lot. I think the target audience is basically people who are very familiar with Christianity to introduce some of the basic concepts of yoga. So what if I see things in reverse where the fantasy in my head is worse than the reality of the world? I still think it. So I think this is where, remember I I showed you guys like the different paths. So this is not complete. There are lots and this is what's annoying about the the Jungian literature is it's not very clinically focused, right? So what they'll what they'll do is they'll do dream analysis and they'll have like a dozen different dreams for people who are have animus possession or anima possession, and each of them will look slightly different. So the key thing to remember about archetypes is that they're like a primordial thing that can manifest in a thousand different ways. So there will be a core idea of internally focused to the point of external. There's a disconnect between internal and external. So that can still be there, but it doesn't mean that you have

To idealize, right? There can absolutely be a situation where you internally don't idealize, but you are still stuck in your head. Now, how that, how that goes, I'm not sure. Okay. We'd have to talk more about it. Yeah. You mentioned that you think possession and disconnection are different, but I'm not sure if you said how. Yeah. So, that's one of the challenges. So, this framework is something that I made up. Right. So, when I was reading this stuff and I, when I was thinking about it clinically, I was like, I don't think all of this is always possession. Right? So, so possession has a particular picture, but then there's, there's the disconnection. There is the symptoms of being disconnected by from the anima, and then there is a separate symptom of that controlling your animus. So, if you are disconnected from feeling, then what that will create is you are externally oriented and you rely on the external world. So, I, I think that there's, this is where, like, if you take the thousand different ways that disconnection manifests, I think 500 of them involve possession, but 500 of them don't involve that clear picture of possession. That's a weakness of the lecture, which I'll admit, but I think that there's, it smells different to me. Okay.

All right, we're going to hop into a lecture real quick. I mean, uh, we, we have a, a guest. Um, hey, hold on, hold on, hold on. They're not going to be able to hear, hear you yet. Um, and then do I need to show? Wait. Okay, hold on, Alex. Um, give me just a second. Uh, okay. Hey, Alex. You want to say something?

>> Testing.

>> Can you hear me?

>> Yes.

>> I can't hear you though.

>> Oh, you can't hear me? Should be able to hear. Oh, nope. I, I screwed up there. You should be able to hear me now.

>> Now I can hear you. Yes.

>> Okay. So, hey, welcome.

>> Thank you.

>> Um, let me see if this is working. Oh, looks like it's okay. We'll figure this out. But do you want to just tell us a little bit about who you are and and what you're sharing with us today?

>> Sure. Hi everybody. I'm uh Alex Waxer. I'm the director of HG Institute. Um I'm also a licensed clinical social worker and supervisor. So I'm another clinician here. Um I have I have three three. Um so I'm here to kind of talk a little bit about what HG Institute even is. It's been around for about a year, but we're kind of entering into um phase two, if you will, of it. So, yeah, that's what I'm here for.

>> Okay, awesome. I'm going to just change an overlay real quick. And so, um one of the ju just to give you guys a little bit of context, we had um a stretch goal for uh May, which was we wanted to get some additional funding for the institute. And um Alex uh is one of the people that runs the institute. So let me just pull this um Oh yeah. Okay. Oh, here it is. So what I'm going to do is I'm going to just start this slideshow and I'm going to see. Let's see if this works. Oh, okay. So, it looks like, let me just see if I can figure this out. Um, weird.

>> Hey guys, you have a build in public overlay?

>> Oh,

>> yeah. Okay, let me do this. Um,

>> I just do voice. I'm fine.

>> Yeah, that that it's it's Oh, no. There you are. We got it. We got it.

>> Okay.

>> Okay. So, tell us a little bit about what's going on, Alex.

>> Um, did you want to finish your thought about the stretch goal?

>> Um, yeah. So, we we had a Oh, yeah. This is so weird. Okay. This was not something I was anticipating, but okay, that's fine. Um, so we don't see you, but that's okay. Um, we're going to just do Um, let's try this one. N try. Yeah, we we we don't see you, Alex, but that's okay. So, yeah, we had a we had a stretch goal which was um which was for HGI. So, we people supported us enough they bought basically a thousand guides and and that gives us funding. So, what are we planning on doing with the funding, Alex?

>> Yeah. Okay. So, HCI, what what even is that? This is kind of the educational arm of HG. Um, we've been around officially for two and a half years. Um, so really what the goal of HCI is, as you guys know, we talk a lot about AoE healing and the idea that mental health is not just like single target, that it can really be the area of effect. Um, so instead of helping just one person at a time, we cast a wide net and radius kind of gets everybody gets hit in that radius. So at HG Institute, what we're doing is we kind of take that same idea and we just kind of move it upstream.

>> And what do you mean by upstream?

>> Yeah. So we we've seen, you know, with you on stream, with coaching, with memberships, it's a little bit more one-on-one. Um, and there's kind of a ceiling. So because there's only so many hours in a day for you, for the coaches, etc. So it's sort of like there's a ceiling of how many people we can reach. So we start kind of asking like okay what if we train more people basically and what if we train especially the clinicians other clinicians because I've been there myself when I'm working with colleagues and I've asked them then we are horribly trained and not informed about what's going on today in mental health what's going on today with people with the internet how this is interacting with our lives etc etc as clinicians. So we really wanted to come in as the training institute and start providing continuing education for therapists, for coaches.

>> Yeah.

>> For teachers, all those people.

>> So So basically what what I the way I would describe this is like there's a common complaint which we hear in the community which is I tried therapy.

>> Yeah.

>> And it didn't work. So my therapist Yeah. They didn't get you. Like they didn't understand that. Like my therapist was like, "Why don't you just play fewer video games?" Or, you know, if you're addicted to pornography, like why don't you just stop watching porn or just start having sex with people instead? And and so so our goal is to and this is what we're building. Alex, can you tell us a little bit about this?

>> The Oh, yes. Okay. So over the last year we have we launched and we focused kind of first on the coaching program that that Alec has built and we got board approved by the national behavior national board of health and wellness coaches um which is a the biggest um kind of gold standard out there for certifying coaching programs. Um and so we are now running we are on I don't even know what number like our 12th or 13th cohort um training coaches that some go on to work at HG some go out into the world and that's the goal is we are coaching we are training coaches who grow elsewhere um so we have launched that product and it is doing incredibly well and so this year we've kind of shifted gears and we really want to start building out the clinical continuing education things so we are currently approved CE providers for the American Psych Psychological Association. Yep. Um ASWB which is social workers, NAK which is um kind of like addiction lensures and then MBHWC the coaching. So the big one is today as of a couple hours ago we've launched um our second main big CE which is the modern clinician's guide to porn addiction. And this one's really kind of a deep dive into compulsive sexual behavior, specifically how it's manifesting online. So, as clinicians and as people who listen to people who are trying to go to therapists, we kind of keep having this like people are coming in, you know, they're they having spent thousands of dollars on only fans. They're talking about gooning. They're describing behaviors that most training programs, they barely touch sexual behavior at all, much less what does this look like today? Um, so we really wanted to kind of do this deep dive of the the really clinical kind of diagnostic stuff, but also like what's what does this look like in this day and age um, and what are your clients actually going to talk about?

>> and um, what are you all working on?

>> So, we are working on a number of things. We're really working on building out that CE library, but a couple of the teasers, we've got a large project for creator mental health. So, helping clinicians know how to work specifically with people who are creators. Um, we've got maybe a couple um somewhat familiar faces who may or may not be involved in that. Um, and then the other one is now you've got me thinking of we're going to have a Yian one, but um

>> yeah, we have to do a Yian one.

>> Okay.

>> I was thinking this too. I I know that I I tend to torpedo things because I got it. No, but dude, Alex, I I gotta tell you. So, you know, I've been doing Yi and stuff for like a couple months now.

>> Yeah.

>> Um, so people from our scientific advisory board, I got a DM. I don't know if you saw this, but I I someone from our scientific advisory board uh was like messaged me and was like, "Hey, I've been getting super into Jungu."

>> And then and then literally I got a a phone call. I got a text message about a week ago from a buddy of mine from residency who I haven't talked to since 2018 I think. So I haven't talked to them in eight years and he was like hey I saw you on a podcast and like I've been getting super getting into Yung too.

>> Um so we may and and so there something weird is going on with like a Yian revival.

>> Um and and so we got to figure that out. I I don't know what but like like almost like you know Yungian but I mean we're not like a Yungian psychoanalytic institute so we got to figure that out but chat we just wanted to show you all kind of what we're working on. Um, you know a big thing that we try to do here at HG is be like sustainable. So Alex said like we started the institute two and a half years ago. Um, you know the funding of that came from us. So we're like okay we're going to like build this thing. And then you know the challenge though is that if we want to build some of this stuff like if we want to expand HGI we want to start doing research like we have to invest that first and so you know we have to build the program like now there's a porn addiction CE um there's another CE are we having another CE go live in a month Alex do you know if that's happening?

>> um we're doing we've got AI and mental health and just sort of a that one will be a little bit shorter just kind of a this is a thing we all know it's constantly evolving. Here's what we're seeing. And then we probably by the end of the summer, we'll also have something on gambling. And that one's the one that's terrifying me the most lately these days.

>> Yeah. So, so guys, like I just want to emphasize like so, you know, we'll ask for these like stretch goals and stuff. And so part of what we do here at H is we try to make things sustainable. But anytime you guys support us, you know, some of the some of the support that y'all have given us over the last three years, whether that's ad revenue for YouTube or checking out coaching or, you know, getting the trauma guide or whatever, like that money went into building HGI, and now we're hoping to grow it faster um and and do more things with it. And so that's what we do with the money that you guys send our way. And it's like going incredibly well and it really serves our mission of like okay let's make more competent clinicians

>> for this situation

>> proving the mental health field as a whole is kind of that goal the bigger the big picture.

>> Cool.

>> Okay. Any last thoughts Alex?

>> Uh no thank you for having us and yes I'll I'll get to thinking about young again.

>> Yeah. Well I mean you know go slow. It's okay.

>> Yeah. I got creator build.

>> Okay. Thanks a lot, Alex. Take care.

>> Thanks. Bye.

Okay. So, we just wanted to show you all a little bit about like what we do, you know, like this is this is something we've been working on for a couple of years. Um, it's it's gone really well so far and uh, you know, we really want to increase the rate at which we build things. So, um, yeah, that I mean the creator one's going to be pretty big. And then, you know, there's just like new problems cropping up, guys, and we can't keep up. So, Alex has been with HG for a couple of years. Um, you know, she transitioned over to the institute when we started it. We've had a couple of other people kind of moving over. So, we're really trying to grow some of that stuff and we're trying to move in a lot of different directions all at once. So, thank you guys so much for your help. Um, we've really been able to accomplish a lot of amazing things here and it wouldn't be without you. So, thank you guys so much and uh, yeah, we'll see you guys. I don't know when we're streaming next. But um, we'll see you when we see you chat.