أرنب أو أسد - الحلقة 2

[Music] A happy rabbit or a sad lion is a phrase some use to ask a man how he describes himself in marital relations, or even between fiancés. While some answer with laughter, "a happy rabbit," the answer for many is with clear seriousness: "a lion." Those with the first answer say, "My brother, what matters is happiness, a rabbit, a rabbit." As for those with the second answer, you hear words from them like dignity, manhood, strength, and that they are willing to lose happiness in exchange for not giving up these important things. I do not agree with either party, and there are issues in how each of them views these two matters. The problem, the problem is that they mean by "rabbit" someone who is meek, gentle. If his wife says to him, for example, "no" to something, he says "yes." If his opinion differs from his wife's opinion on a matter, there is no problem for him that what happens, without discussion, is his wife's opinion, and he says to her, "as you wish," or he gets up and helps his wife in the house. The problem is that he decided that whoever is in this state is a rabbit, who made this a sign of weakness, who made this against manhood and strength. Do not misunderstand me. I love for a man to be strong in his home, and he is required to be strong in his home, otherwise the home might be destroyed. Here is the pause: what determines if he is strong or not? It is not raising one's voice that is proof of strength. Almost everyone can raise their voice. It is not anger that is proof of strength, nor is it hitting that is proof of strength. Let us look at the strong people, how they were. Let us look at the righteous men. Let us look at the righteous husbands. What did they make a red line? Where did they draw the boundaries? And what did they not stand for, and did not allow it to take their time, thought, and effort? Let us look at those who ruled countries, not just their homes. They ruled countries. What were they like in their homes and with their families? The strongest of men, the leader of the nation, our master Muhammad, peace be upon him, the caller to God, the explainer of the path to paradise and the way to happiness in both worlds, said: "Shall I tell you about the people of paradise?" The people of paradise are every meek, gentle, easy, close person." This is the Messenger of God, who brought out men whom history remembers with great heroism, who went out as heroes, conquered lands, and spread the religion of Islam. He says, "meek, gentle, easy, close." And this is what a man should remember, just as a woman should remember it. If you consider your wife's insistence on preparing food other than what you want as a threat to your masculinity, then we have a big problem. If you consider her suggestion to postpone inviting your friends to dinner to another day, for example, if you consider this as control over your home, then you need to fight a battle to ensure that she does not dare to say this again, then we have a big problem. The people of paradise are meek, gentle. Things like this should not reach the point of spoiling the life of the couple at home. Be easy. Yes, there are things you do not back down from your decisions on. For example, if a man proposes to your daughter, and he does not provide for her, he is not her equal, and you fear for her with him, he drinks alcohol, or he is disobedient to his parents, and you do not want to marry your daughter to him, yes, you do not agree to this. If your wife wants to marry the daughter to him, you do not agree, because the talk here has become about religion, a fundamental matter. Yes, here you do not compromise. But on whether we choose the base with the green color or the blue color, be easy. Then, if you get up and work in your home and help your wife, you are no longer the man of the house. The Messenger of God, peace be upon him, used to serve his family. The Messenger of God, and this did not diminish him, as the Rightly Guided Caliph Umar ibn al-Khattab said, when the lamp went out, he got up and fixed it himself instead of asking someone else, even though he was the Commander of the Faithful. Some were surprised by this, and he said, "I got up as Umar ibn al-Khattab, and I returned as Umar ibn al-Khattab." These are men. And notice with me, if you agree with your wife on what she wants, which does not harm you in your religion or your worldly life, with a kind word and a smile, without turning the matter into a problem, it may in many cases lead her to say, "Okay, do what you want." Many women, with a word, relax and leave the discussion and do what the man wants when they see that he wants her happiness and comfort. This makes her give up insisting on what she wanted and do what you want with a smile. And what would you be? You would have acted according to the Prophet's saying, peace be upon him, and earned charities, not just one charity, but charities. Look at me, he said, peace be upon him, "A kind word is charity." He said, peace be upon him, "Your smile in your brother's face is charity." He said, peace be upon him, "Dealing kindly with people is charity, and a good deed is ten times its like." After all this, do you tell me he is a rabbit? Is it said of one who does this that he is a rabbit? Rather, this is a lion, a happy lion, praise be to God. And may God Almighty bless and grant peace to His Messenger. Ramadan is the opportunity of a lifetime, a light in the expanse of time, and it flows with the tenderness of a river. In it is the Night of Decree, a light in our evenings, and it erases our sorrows and flows in our eyes, and from it is the splendor of dawn.