Transcription
Welcome back. This will be the dilemma: opposing desires that refuse to be ignored. So, uh, last segment, we learned Fact Two: I can engage in my compulsive behavior. I'm not deprived. Even if I decide to stop engaging in my compulsive behavior, I can always change my mind. And I hope that you've used that thinking as much as possible to get you out of the hamster wheel.
So now we can move on to the dilemma and Fact One. So I want you to take a look at this statement: "I don't want to engage in compulsive behavior." Now, without a lot of thought, yes or no, is that true for you? "I don't want to engage my compulsive behavior." Yes or no? Almost everybody I work with says that this is true. Yes, this is a true statement, which is incredibly good news because if this is a true statement, you're cured and you can forget the rest of the videos. You're, you're good to go, right? Do you want to pound your head against the wall? I'm assuming the answer to that is no. So do you go to a class to figure out how to stop pounding your head against the wall? Probably not, because you don't want to pound your head against the wall. So, sorry about the trick question. Let's see if we can, you know, correct this thinking.
Okay, how about this: "I don't want to want to engage in my compulsive behavior." I mean, it sounds like verbiage, "I don't want to want to," but we need to correct this thinking in order to get you free of the behavior, right? "I don't want to want to engage in my compulsive behavior," or "I don't want the consequences of engaging in my compulsive behavior." Now, these are both true. You made the list last segment. Yeah, the, the consequences are horrible from engaging in compulsive behavior. Of course, you don't want that, right? True. And I don't want to want to. Well, think about in any given day, how often thoughts or feelings or desires or whatever come up that are based on your compulsion, of your addiction? You know, "What am I going to stop doing this?" Oh my God, all the thoughts that you have that are that revolve around this desire, this, this problem, right? So most of my people say it's omnipresent. It's always there on some level. Yeah, they can go distract and do this and not think about it for a little while, but it's always there waiting, right? So you don't want to want to engage in your compulsive behavior, but too bad, man. It's there whether you want it or not. It's, it's there, right? And it's going to be there until we deal with it directly, which is what we're doing.
Okay, so now I want you to look at the dilemma that you have. You hear, you want to engage in your compulsive behavior, and you want to stop engaging in your compulsive behavior. Here's your opposing desires, right? So first of all, you want to stop engaging in your compulsive behavior. You have all these horrible negative consequences. You go online, you look, you know, you found me, okay, great. So now you want to stop because you're sick of all the suffering. So now everything that you're going to learn is going to say, "Okay, cover this first one." "I don't want to engage in my compulsive behavior." Excuse me, I want to engage in my compulsive behavior. Try to find a way to deny that wanting, right? Try not to think about it. But then the thing is, is it's, it's so powerful. It's compulsive desire. It's compelling. It refuses to be ignored, right? So there's that wanting again. Okay, oh God, it's like watching the scary movie and like, "Oh, there it is again." Oh my God. Then you got your head in the in the ice cream, whatever. So now, since that's so powerful, now I gotta deny the other one. Deny I want to stop engaging in my compulsive behavior. Oh yeah, it's really not that bad. Everybody's fat these days, you know? And looking at everything you see out in the world is condoning compulsive behavior. So, oh yeah, it's all accepted. And you know, "Just be you, and you do what you want to do at any given time." And you know, "Do it just if you're feeling bad, just engage." You know, "It's not that bad." And maybe you'll find a way, and maybe you'll find another thing online, something that's not that bad. But then it's like, "No, I'm not happy with this crap. I do not want this behavior in my life." Okay, so now you can't deny that one. That one refuses to be ignored. No, I mean, I can't even like, I can't even walk down the street without being winded, you know? And it's like, I'm hiding the smoking from. It's all of it. It's just, you know, you spent your last 20 bucks, you know, in the in the video poker machine. It's like, you can't deny it. Not happy.
So now let's deny the wanting again, okay? Let's just try it up. Just shove it aside, you know? Just try not to think about it. Go run around the block, drink some water, you know, whatever else, you know, you find that journal, you know, anything. Just think about something else. Visualize yourself, whatever. Just don't think about that. Go to the gym, for God's sake, get fit, you know? Try not to think about that, okay? But it's so powerful, it refuses to be ignored, okay? It's back. Oh my God, here I am again. Here I am again. Here I am again, right? Oh God. So now we'll deny the other one again. We are, oh, okay. So, so deny one, deny the other. Then I want, deny the other. Then I want to deny the other. Back and forth, back and forth, back and forth, back and forth. So this is how you live. You live literally in your mind, constant conflict, trying to not deny one or the other when both are true.
There's one thing I can pretty much guarantee with a 100 percent, you know, accuracy is that you will not get free of this compulsive addictive behavior by trying to deny either of these, because they're both true. You want to engage in your compulsive behavior, and you want to stop. You want both. So for now, just accept that reality, okay? Just accept the fact that you want both, and you're not going to be able to deny either of them for any length of time, okay?
So from this point forward, I want you to use this fact. This is Fact One. And write it down: "I'm wanting to engage in my compulsive behavior right now." Okay? Now, this is whether it's thoughts, whether it's feelings, whether it's flat-out desire, whether it's just a little, whatever, like the balls of desire, yeah, my compulsion, however it manifests itself. And we're stirring it up now, so you're probably going to have even more thoughts about it because we are stirring it up, right? So however it, however it comes to the forefront for you, I want you to simply acknowledge: "I'm wanting to engage in my compulsive behavior right now." Write that down. Fact One.
And then now we're going to follow it up with Fact Two: "I can engage in my compulsive behavior. I'm not deprived. Even if I decide to stop engaging in my compulsive behavior, I can always change my mind." Okay? Now I want you to use these two facts as much as humanly possible. No matter what comes to your mind, don't haggle with it, don't negotiate with it. Whatever it is that is in regard to your compulsive desire, again, thoughts, feelings, desires, simply run it through the script: "I'm wanting to engage in my compulsive behavior right now," and "I can engage in my compulsive behavior. I'm not deprived. Even if I decide to stop engaging in my compulsive behavior, I can always change my mind."
Now, these first two facts are the foundation for getting you out of the hamster wheel. Every time it comes up, you have something that you can apply directly to that compulsive desire. Now, the "I'm wanting to" in Fact One, "I'm wanting to engage in my compulsive behavior," there's going to be some resistance to that. But I just want you to acknowledge that resistance and and use the fact. Um, and some of that resistance can come from, especially with food compulsion, they can be like shame around it, from being put on diets when you're real young, all that stuff, you know? So if you feel any resistance to "I'm wanting to engage in my compulsive behavior right now," you can add to that. You don't have to, but you can. "Doesn't mean there's anything wrong with me." Because it's so critical that Fact One is what is going to get you into the correct neural pathway and and then be able to stay in that neural pathway. So don't rush Fact One. When I get to basketball, you know, we're not clearing our mind, we're not meditating here. So this is like, really connect to that "I'm wanting to engage in my compulsive behavior right now." And if it helps you, add, "Doesn't mean there's anything wrong with me." Whatever it is that helps you stay connected to that compulsive desire, feel it. And then follow it up: "I can engage in my compulsive behavior. I'm not deprived. Even if I decide to stop engaging in my compulsive behavior, I can always change my mind."
Okay, so now we're getting tapped into that compulsive desire, get you out of the hamster wheel, and use these two facts as much as you can. You have an omnipresent, omnipresent thoughts, desires, and feelings. Use it all the time. You can't overuse it, okay? And it's, you're building a muscle here. So, um, great. So use that a lot. Use it all the time. And then download the next segment, "The Drive Behind the Desire," and we're going to learn Fact Three and a whole lot more. See you then.