Transcription
I called off my engagement for my relationship of over 5 years. And in a couple weeks, I'm moving completely across the country alone to chase my dreams. My DMs are filled to the brim right now asking me what happened. How did I know it was time to leave? And this might be the most important video that I've made yet because I've had an awakening in the last year of my life. A huge awakening. My life has completely changed 180.
For some context, three years ago, I was working making barely minimum wage. Now I have six businesses over nine income streams. I've built somewhat of a platform, and I truly truly want you guys to know how much I deeply appreciate all of your messages, how much, you know, my advice has helped you. I'm going to be talking to you right now as if I was talking to my little sister or someone that I really, really, really wanted to help because this decision is not easy. I thought about this for a long time. It's been a long time coming. And even even a year ago, I was in Miami. A year from a month from now, I my move-in date is the exact same day that I went to Miami last year seeing if that was something I wanted to pursue. I've prayed about it. I've thought about it. I've really, really, really thought about this.
Two weeks ago, I bought a flight. I flew out to Miami. I've never been anywhere. I've never traveled alone. So, even that for me was kind of scary. I'm 23 years old and I've never traveled alone. I know, embarrassing. Embarrassing. But that's what this change is about. I'm picking me. I'm choosing me. I am not settling. Do not settle for a life you do not want. What you don't change, you are choosing. If you don't like your life right now, change it. If you're not happy in your relationship, change it. Leave it. If you're not happy with your job, quit. Go get another one. Life is too short to take things too seriously.
And in my situation with my relationship, nothing happened. Everyone's asking me, "What happened? What happened?" Nothing. Nothing happened. Okay, that's the truth. You don't need something to happen to decide that something's not for you anymore. If it's not aligning with you and your morals and what you really want deep down, even though everything seems perfect, everything seems fine, but you feel like you're settling, that's time to go. That means it's time to go. Okay, this was not easy at all. Me and my partner, me and my ex-partner still have a lot of respect for each other. There's no bad blood, nothing. We spent the last 5 years of our lives together. I've been with this man since I was literally a child, okay? But that doesn't mean you need to stick around in a relationship that's not serving you or where you feel like you're settling at all. Okay? The man doesn't have to do anything to you for you to pick up and say, "Okay, this isn't good enough for me." Okay? And you're going to feel really, really, really bad. And you're going to feel really guilty. And that's okay. That's normal. But you have to pick yourself. You have to be selfish.
And my thing is, I'm I'm 23. I've never lived alone before until now. Now and I'm moving completely across the country where I know nobody. I know nobody. Somewhere that I've never lived before, that I've only visited a couple times. I'm going to make new friends out there. I'm going to have a whole new life. A whole new life. Not because something traumatic. Nothing happened. I didn't even need that. I said, you know what? This isn't good enough for me. This isn't serving me. This isn't my fullest potential. I need to make a change. And that's what I did. That you don't need everything in your life to be blown up for you to go and change something, for you to move somewhere, for you to leave someone, for you to drop your friends. It's not always going to be like that. Sometimes you just have to know what's right for you and what's not. What do you want? What do you not want? And anything that doesn't align or anything that gets in the way, you remove it and you go do it for yourself anyways.
The thing with me is I felt like I was settling to be honest with you guys. And it's really hard to get over that feeling when you know you care about the person. You have so many memories together. You don't want to have guilt of leaving them. Maybe they'll be in a bad position if you leave them. Whatever it is, you have to pick yourself. Chase yourself. Marry yourself. Marry your future, not a man. Don't chase a man. Don't chase your boyfriend. Chase your dreams. What do you want? What do you want? What do you want? Don't do things for other people anymore. Seriously. Seriously, you're going to you are going to look back at your life at the end of it and be so bitter and so regretful that you weren't one of those young women that used all the advantages that she had and lived, you know, got to experience life alone. Didn't live relationship to relationship to relationship. Didn't settle. Didn't have some man's kids that you didn't really want to have. Didn't, you know, marry a man because you feel like marriage is the end. You feel like marriage is such an accomplishment and that's the goal and that's the end goal, right? That is such a brainwashing effing lie. The end goal is finding yourself and finding true happiness alone. That is the end goal. After that, you can think about maybe I'll marry someone. Maybe I'll find a true life partner. A partner, not someone that just puts a rock on your finger and that you have kids with so that you can say you did it.
And the thing with people my age is everyone's racing. Everyone of who's going to get married first, who's going to have the first kid, blah blah blah. You guys are in the wrong race. You need to race yourself. Who were you a year ago? The same then you're losing. You lost the race. You lost the race. I'm a different person every single year. Every 6 months. I'm constantly better. I'm constantly better looking. I'm constantly smarter. I constantly make more money. I non-stop invest in myself. I don't pick other people over myself anymore. I don't I don't You could say, "Oh, that's so narcissistic." You have to be a little bit narcissistic if you want to win in life. And winning is being happy yourself without relying on anybody else to give you that. Okay? You need to pick yourself. You need to be selfish. You need to be a little bit narcissistic. You need to love yourself that much to not put up with a bunch of junk from everyone around you. To not settle. If you settle, you don't love yourself. You didn't love yourself enough to say, "This isn't good enough for me. I don't care how uncomfortable this is. I don't care how much it's going to hurt me. I want better." Most people don't make that decision for themselves. And then they have kids and they try to make that decision for the kids and you know you'll try your best to raise your kids to not make the same decision. But then you're also just gonna end up resenting your kids. Okay? Do you want to be one of those bitter older people that looked back and is like, I should have picked myself because you will get there. You will come to when you get as you get older, you will realize how much I'm right, how selfish other people really are, especially men. And you're going to be like, "Wow, I wish I was like this girl when I was younger." Yeah, you're going to wish you were. So, if you're still young right now, you better listen to me. You better You better be listening right now because this is the most important thing I think I've ever said. Chase yourself. Chase your dreams. Do not fall for the trap of love and marriage and relationships when it's at the cost of you and your future. You will be settling and you're going to be unhappy and you're going to be regretful.
The worst part is a lot of men when they come across an extraordinary woman will try to trap you. They will try to keep you from going out and you know reaching your truest truest potential. So if you fall for the trap for a guy that's really really not your endgame and he traps you, you are like a butterfly locked in a little cage and you're never going to escape. You are that man's property now for the rest of your life. As soon as you marry him and as soon as you have his kids, it doesn't matter if you leave him after you get divorced, you have his kids. You have his kids. That man's going to be in your life forever. I want you guys to be so so so strict and so meticulous about the men you're choosing to have kids with and marry and spend all your youth with. You are only going to be young one time. You better be so smart and you better use every single day of your youth working towards what you really want and that better be something to do with yourself. Okay?
There's a lot of women out there that claim, you know, all they've ever wanted was kids. All that they looked forward to their whole life. All they ever wanted was to have kids. That's their end goal. Are you serious? Serious? Women have been having kids for millions of years. For thousands of years. I'm sorry, but it's not special. We all can pop out kids, okay? I think it's so oppressive if you pick the wrong man and you don't choose yourself and you don't live your life while you're young and you don't know what it's like to make some money by yourself and you don't know what it's like to be truly independent. You are oppressing yourself. You are choosing a miserable life that millions and billions of women have already lived before you. The times are different now. Now you can get a bank account as a woman. Now you can get a credit card as a woman. You can start businesses as a woman. Why are you wasting it? All the men do it. No problem. Do you think that you're dumber than men? No. Women are smarter than men. So why can't you do it?
A lot of women on social media preach the soft girl lifestyle. I want a man to take care of me. Blah blah blah. Yes. You know, I'm still very traditional in that belief. Men should absolutely take care of the women they're with. No negotiation there. Okay? A man still needs to be a man and a woman still needs to be a woman. However, you lose one of the most important part of yourself as a woman when you don't get to experience freedom and being independent and finding yourself and finding what you really really want. Almost every single time I see a woman that's claimed, I only ever wanted kids. Ever since a child, I knew that when I grew up, all I wanted was kids. They end up being the most dependent, insufferable, bitter old women, mothers that I've ever seen in my life because they look back and they're like, "Wow, I didn't live my life before I decided to start another one and give it all away to my infant. Um, I didn't get to live for me. I didn't get to travel for me. I didn't get to live alone. I didn't get to enjoy life alone and see what my life was like. I always, you know, depended on a man, depended on finding marriage, depended on who can I have a child with." That is my worst nightmare. My worst nightmare. Thank god my parents didn't raise me with those beliefs because wow, I don't know where the hell I would be right now. Certainly not here.
Okay, if I can leave my 5-year relationship where I was engaged and supposed to be getting married next year to a man I thought that I was in love with. I can start all these businesses and move across the country completely by myself with fear, of course, but I'm doing it anyway. Then so can you. So can you. What's stopping you? The only person stopping you is you and probably that man you're stuck with. Okay. Women lose so much. Women lose so much when they're tied to a man. Okay? You lose part of yourself. You lose all your opportunities. You lose a lot of advantages. It's just the truth. And when you pick a man that you're going to settle down with and spend the rest of your life with, you better you better know what you're doing and know what you're getting into. Okay? This isn't to be so negative against women that want kids in a family, blah blah blah. Okay? No. This is just the truth about being a woman in this world and marrying men, being engaged, having relationships, how to know when to leave, how to know what, you know, being independent. It's so important as a woman in this time that you experience what it's like to be truly independent because it is the most freeing, most adrenalizing feeling you will ever feel in your life. When you don't need anything from anybody. It is the best feeling in the world. Every single woman should know what this feels like. Do it for the women that couldn't. Okay? All the women that couldn't have their own bank account, have their own credit cards, have their own job, even a job, have, you know, a nice car, go get it for you. And all the women in your bloodline that could never do it before. Okay? Go do it. Go do it.
And it's completely normal to walk away from things that you've outgrown, that don't align with you anymore, that don't give you every single thing you need, that aren't making you absolutely thrive. It is completely okay to walk away and say, "This isn't for me. You don't need a gigantic bomb in your life for you to walk away from something." That is the message of this video. I want you to start being selfish. Pick yourself. Don't chase anything except for that dream you have in your head that I know you do. And if you're telling yourself, "All I wanted was kids." D, no, you don't. You just haven't found yourself yet. Because if you think your real purpose in life is giving your life for another one, you haven't found yourself. And yes, having kids and starting a family is a beautiful thing. Okay, it is. But I think it's much much much more important to find who you are first. Have those hobbies, have those things you like to do. Um, have dreams. Get some achievements under your name. Get some achievements under your name. Get some accomplishments under your name. Build some confidence. Build a name for yourself. Give your children a reason to look up to you. Okay? Don't just wander through life wondering what man's going to, you know, come take care of you and have kids with you and then cheat on you when you're older with a younger woman, you know? Okay. When you are independent and you give yourself everything you want, you don't have to put up with that. You don't have to put up with that. When you are happy and comfortable being by yourself, you don't have to put up with anything a man ever says or does or tries to do to you. Okay? That is power. That is independence. And that is the most freeing, most important thing that I could ever tell another woman to woman. If you're a woman, if you're a man watching this, maybe you should tell your daughters this. I will one day if I have kids. Your life is so much more than a relationship and procreating. I promise you.
That's all I wanted to say. Thank you guys so much for all the nice messages. I am perfectly okay. I'm extremely excited. I can't wait to see what this new era of my life brings me because I just I have that deep feeling of I know I'm doing the right thing. And I want you guys to do the same thing. It's going to be hard. Choose the hard decisions because in the end, it's going to be so much more rewarding.