Transcription
Sometimes people ask me if I was bullied in life. My father was the first bully, and he taught me many lessons. But it was in prison, in the gulag, that I truly learned how to stand up for myself.
Over the years, I developed my own rules for dealing with bullies. Whether you're in school, working a white-collar job, or in prison, the same principles apply. Bullies function the same everywhere. Suki, here are my seven rules on how to stop a bully so he regrets it.
Number one, everything starts with your eyes. Never stare, but also never too quickly look away. Power is balance. Remember these words. Your eyes are not just the gates of your soul; they are also a weapon and an indicator of how strong you are.
Number two, your body language will determine if you will receive respect. Walk tall, eyes straight, chest to the front. Imagine an invisible thread attached to the crown of your head, always pulling you up, making your chin go down. Only arrogant people have their chin up, but they will get punched and knocked out the quickest.
Number three, after mastering body language, you master mindset. Always start out with, "I'm okay, you're okay." Start out cooperative with everyone. Set clear boundaries. Bullies like to test limits. If someone treats you like that, strike back swiftly as a warning and then offer cooperation in game. "I am okay. You're okay," unless proven differently. This is the highest level of game theory that will bring you far in life, no matter if you are in kindergarten, in prison, or in a boardroom.
Number four, never react emotionally. Bullies thrive on provoking anger or fear. Keep calm, use logic and humor, and give the bullies no emotional reaction they seek. Your calm is your shield, and your calm is your sword.
Number five, form alliances. Everything starts with paying it forward. A favor will grow you a connection. A connection will become an alliance. An alliance can even become a friendship. Bullies have a tough time when you are well-connected and useful. That's why, number six, keep your skills sharp. Whatever is needed in your area, practice every day. Verbal wit, strategic thinking, or self-defense. Every day, sharpen your sword. Bullies avoid people who have real competence, but don't brag about it.
And finally, of course, number seven: Your sharpest thought is silence, also against bullies. When dealing with a bully, silence combined with strong eye contact will create a powerful shield if your body language is tall and strong. Silence is your master, your protector, and your charisma.
This rule set is from the Grim book, Grim Begins. It is a novel not just for entertainment but empowerment. This is the grim way. The first book of the Grim series tells the story of a lost young man who flees his abusive father to go and travel. This is me. But when new friends turn out to be drug smugglers, it leads the hero into the dark gulags of the Soviet Union where he grows from boy to man. It is grim storytelling yet deeply truthful. It is a metaphor for all of our lives. You can get the Grim book here, no matter if you are young or old. This story will transform you. Grim's mission is to bring cultural change for generations to come. Be honorable. [Music]