Transcription
Is embarrassment holding you back in life? Are you constantly ashamed of doing anything, and you're constantly afraid of other people's opinions? So you don't really get anything done. Honey, that is the biggest prison you can live in.
You see, the way I grew up was, ever since I was young, I was told to care about my reputation, care about my family's reputation. And it was so indoctrinated into my mind and into the minds of my siblings to always act a certain way and never shame the family, because otherwise, you would be offed at some point. I started getting tired of it, and I realized that I cannot achieve anything in life if I am going to follow this mindset. So I completely changed my life around when I stopped feeling embarrassed for anything. And in this video, I will show you how you can do the same.
Before we get into the video, I would like to mention that this video is sponsored by BetterHelp. BetterHelp is an online therapy platform that can easily connect you with a licensed therapist that can help with any issue you might be facing. BetterHelp also has a network of over 30,000 therapists, so you can easily find a therapist that is the right match for you. However, if the therapist that you found is not the right match, BetterHelp allows you to switch therapists with no additional charge. This means that you save a lot of time and a lot of money. The most beneficial thing is that it's online, because if you cannot find a therapist in your area or you have like, really struggled just finding a therapist in general, you can literally look online and you have so many options. I love that. Also, if you don't want to leave your house and stuff, that's like, so comfortable out of your couch, out of your bedroom, you can just chat with your therapist. So to get started, you fill out a questionnaire to help assess your specific wants and needs, and then you get matched to a therapist in as little as a few days. You can choose to have a video, message, or phone-based session, whatever you are most comfortable with. You that you might benefit from therapy, then please click the link in the description down below or visit BetterHelp.com/wizardlist. Clicking that link will not only help support this channel, but it also gives you 10% off your first month at BetterHelp.
Hi guys, my name is Liz, and welcome back to my channel. Okay, let's get into it.
First things first, realize that shame and embarrassment is not your natural state. Why do I say this? When we are born as babies, we are not born with shame. We are not born with embarrassment. We don't know what that is. A baby just authentically themselves. A child is as well, until the parent starts to indoctrinate them with their own belief system that they have been taught from their own parents. You know, it goes on for generations and generations. So they put these belief systems that are toxic onto their own children. So the child starts to think like, "Oh my God, if I do this, that's going to be embarrassing. Oh my God, if I do this, then that's going to be embarrassing. Okay, this is how I have to act in society because this is what is accepted." So the child basically starts to believe that if I do it this way, then I'll be accepted. But it starts to neglect its authentic self.
Now, when this happens, the child becomes very insecure. And what happens later on is you have an insecure adult. Because any issue that an adult has comes from their childhood. You want to fix the adult, go back to their childhood. So what you need to realize then is, okay, I wasn't born with shame. I was not born with embarrassment. I was born with authentically being myself. My parents put these limiting beliefs onto me. And then you have to ask yourself, now, what do I believe? What do I stand for? And I'm not saying like things that are bad or go do criminal activities, but I mean, if you're doing something that doesn't harm anyone and makes you happy, then who is anyone to say that you shouldn't be doing that?
Another thing is, forgive yourself for your past mistakes. A lot of people still carry shame from the past. You might have done something in the past that either you did like, to yourself, and it was very bad, or you did to someone else and you hurt them, and it was very bad. Now, you might have evolved from that. You learned your mistake and you never repeated it again, and you were truly remorseful. Okay, you changed, and it's okay to acknowledge that you have changed. It's okay to say, "I'm not that person anymore. I don't align with the person that I was years before." You know, if you're constantly going to blame yourself for what happened in the past and constantly feel like, "Oh, I don't deserve a good life because I did this in the past," then you're self-sabotaging yourself, honey. Sometimes we have to move on. You cannot keep looking there and expect a bright future to come because you're stuck in the past. And the past doesn't exist anymore. There's nothing you can do right now and change the mistake you made. There's nothing you can do and change what happened to you. The only thing you can do right now is look in front of you, look in the present, and see, okay, what do I have now? What can I create now with what I have? How do I move forward?
Also, realize that at some point, you have to let your brain move on. Because a lot of you guys, you guys are constantly replaying past mistakes, past traumas, all these things. And what happens is your body and brain constantly believe you're in the same state. So what happens is you're constantly still depressed. You never feel different than you felt before. And you know why I realized this? I was doing the same thing. So constantly, I was trying to heal all my traumas. I've healed the big traumas, then I was working on any trauma there's left. But what happened then is I was constantly still depressed. Why? Because my brain believes that I'm still in a traumatic state because anytime there is a trauma that comes up, I'm hyperfocused on it and I'm triggered by it. Instead of letting it slide and be like, "Okay, you can go now. This is the past," and not fighting it, I would hyperfixate on it. And because of that, I was constantly still depressed, no matter if I even if I was out of the situation, I was still depressed. You had heartbreak, right? At some point, you need to let go of that madness from it. Why? Because the brain, when it constantly feels that sadness, it thinks the situation is all happening over and over and over again. If you constantly feel embarrassed for something, the brain thinks that you're doing something embarrassing over and over again. So that is what you will constantly feel. You will constantly have fear inside of yourself, and you're never able to move on.
And also, own your mistakes. Own whatever you did. Say, "Okay, I did it." If someone brings it up to you and, "Oh, you used to be like this. Oh, you did this. Remember, remember, remember," say, "Yes, I remember, and I changed and I evolved. What now? What do you guys want me to do now?" You, if you are the one that is constantly shaming yourself for the thing that you did, yeah, that's when it becomes embarrassing. But when you own that, when you own what happened, and when you own what you're ashamed about, no one can hold it over your head. Only you have power over that. No one can make you feel embarrassed. No one can make you feel ashamed. When you like what you do, when you feel that you're like, you know what, I'm doing a good thing. I like what I'm putting out, whether it's artistically, whether you're creating something, and you're like, you know what, I love what I put out. That's good enough. No one can make you feel embarrassed. Only you can do that to yourself. You can allow people to make you feel like that.
Another thing is, realize that shame is like living in a prison of other people's minds. You are their little puppet. They can make you feel anything. They can make you feel sad. They can make you feel happy. Like, why would you do that? Have you looked at other people? See all the people that are trying to shame you, embarrass you, put you down. Why do they want to put you down? Because they see something in you that you cannot see in yourself. But they see it. People that are down, no one puts them down because they're not a competition. But it's always the people that have something. There's always the people that have this thing in them, whether it's a light or an energy, that people want to bring down because they see something in you. And once you start to see that thing in yourself, you will be incredibly powerful. They cannot stop you. A person that understands who they are and their power is unstoppable. Why would you want to live in a prison like that? Imagine you're 80 years old tomorrow and you realize, "I've lived my whole life for other people. I lived my whole life just for other people's opinions." Do you want to live like that? You know how fast we age? You know how fast you'll be 80 years old and regret your whole life tomorrow. All of these people will die in the end. And then what? And then what? You lived for them, but they aren't even here anymore.
Also, the same people that you care so much about about their opinion and you don't want to embarrass yourself in front of them, these people are super weird. I've never met a person, never. I've never met someone that is not weird, that they have weird like things. They have weird behaviors. But this is very normal. This is very normal. This makes us human beings. So who are you trying to impress here? No one is perfect. So you're trying to portray a perfect image to imperfect humans, and that makes sense to you? In the same way, people are hypocrites. Okay, the same things that they will judge you for and shame you for is the same thing that they will do behind closed doors. These people are the ones that will be the first one to judge others. Why? Because day in, day out, these people judge themselves. They hate themselves. They're miserable. So they want to pick on other people so they feel the same way. Don't lower yourself for miserable people. These people are in the dark. Leave them there.
Also, understand people switch sides very quickly. Okay, it's all fun and games, and everyone laughs in the beginning. They'll laugh at you. When I was starting out my social media, everyone was laughing at me because it was embarrassing and, haha, I was a joke. Okay, I'm not a joke anymore. Now it's like, "Oh, I used to know her. Oh my God." People make up stories that they used to know me. Switch sides so quickly once they see that someone becomes popular or once they see that other people like them, because people are so insecure. The only thing they do is follow the crowd. Are you trying to impress these people? These people you're trying to live like, whatever, for these people that you're embarrassed of doing anything, just for these people that will tomorrow be by your side once you make it? Today they're shaming you, tomorrow they will say, "Oh, I used to know her."
Also, just stop trying to be liked in general. Stop. If someone tells you you're smart, that doesn't mean you're smart. If someone tells you you're stupid, that doesn't mean you're stupid. Okay, these are all comments from people from their own perception of you. None of it is facts. Okay? Someone can tell you you're smart, but for someone else, you're the most stupid person on Earth. Same way, not everyone will find you pretty. Not everyone will find you funny or like a fun person or someone to look up to. They will not. And is that wrong? No, because people come from different cultures, people come from different backgrounds, they have a different like, beauty standard, all these things. You cannot fit in everywhere. And start to be okay with that. Not everyone will like you in life. Once you are just so okay with being disliked, no one can take that from you. If, like for me, for example, if someone tells me like, "Oh, I don't like your content." Okay. "Oh, I don't think you're beautiful." Okay. "Oh, I don't think you're smart." Okay. That's what you think. Is that fact? No. No, but that's what you think, and you're entitled to your opinion. But I don't care about your opinion. You see?
Also, understand how listening to other people's opinions and whatever they think is true. When you start to do that on a regular basis, you will stop trusting yourself. When you don't trust yourself, you become very, very insecure. What happens is, imagine you have to make a decision, right? Because you feel like you don't, you are not capable of making decisions on your own. You constantly consult other people. You ask them what you should do. So you're living according to their opinion. So when something happens and you have to decide for yourself, you'll be like, "Oh, no, I can't decide for myself." You're like a child. You're like, "I can't, because I don't know. I don't know what's best for me." But you do. You do. These people don't. These people will never be in your shoes. These people don't know what it's like to be you. So who are you listening to? People that can only give outside opinion. You should be able to listen to what comes in and out, and you should be observing it. Okay? But then still make your own decision and still say, "I am the one that I trust. I am the one that I go to to make the final decision, and no one else." I'm the kind of person, I will consult people when I'm making a decision, but at the end, I will always do what I want. And everyone knows this. And sometimes I make mistakes. But you know what? I made the decision to make that mistake. So at the end, I'm still confident in myself because whether it went wrong or whether it went right, Liz made the decision, and not other people. Because their opinions are not more important than mine. Their voice is not more important than mine.
Also, understand that you deserve whatever blessing you have or whatever blessing you want. Okay? God didn't put you on Earth to struggle. I want you to stop believing this. This is the most, the biggest lie I've seen people tell each other. That, "Oh, we're meant to struggle." No, struggle is not cool. Not in relationship, not in friendship, not in work. It's not meant to be a struggle. If you need to struggle to keep something together, like a relationship, friendship, or a job, then it's not for you. Something that is for you, you will not need to be struggling for it. You will not need to be desperate for it. It will align with you and it will come in the highest way. When you need to struggle, it's a sign it's not for you, and you're holding on to something that you need to let go of. When you put those limitations on yourself or you shame yourself for wanting a better life or something bigger or whatever, you will not achieve that thing. Because at the end of the day, even though you want it, you're still telling yourself that what you want is a bad thing. But who told you it's a bad thing? Who told you? Because people always say like, "Oh, if you want more, like more luxuries in your life, you're a vain person." No, maybe some people genuinely like luxuries. Maybe they like living the big life. Why do you care? Some people genuinely don't want that. Some people want a simple life, and that's also good, right? Why do you judge the one but not the other? Whatever you want, whatever good you want, you deserve it. Just because you're alive, just because you're on this Earth, and you can create the most beautiful life for yourself. You don't have to listen to people that say like, "Oh, no, you're supposed to suffer. No, no, no, you're supposed to suffer. Take that all that suffering on this Earth and put it onto you. Okay, you have that miserable life." But when I'm 80 tomorrow, honey, I have my best life. I know this for sure. Liz lived her best life.
Also, realize that shame is a fearful emotion and it keeps you stuck. See the people that have no embarrassment and have no shame, they get the furthest in life. You, you can see them online. A lot of people online are making so much money. And a lot of people are laughing at them. But they're also laughing from their mansions at you guys. So who has the last laugh? Because at the end of the day, they're still creating their stuff. They're still putting it out there. Yeah, you find it funny, but they don't have a lot of financial issues anymore. And they're the ones getting financially blessed because they're not afraid to be themselves online. When you constantly have is like, "Oh, this is not good enough. Oh, this will be embarrassing. Oh, this and that." Yeah, you will not create anything. You will not do anything in your life. And you'll live a whole life wasted thinking about like, "Oh my God, people would have found this embarrassing." It's embarrassing to be old and have a life lived for other people.
And last but not least, I want you to realize that you are good enough now. You are good enough now. Who you are, with what you have, and that's what you have to do right now. You have to like, be who you are. Take what you have and create what you can. Don't look at, "Oh my God, I used to." "Oh my God, I am going to." What do you have now? What can we do now with what you have? Okay? What can we create? What are you good at? What do you love to do? What do you want to improve? I used to have this mentality of like, "Oh, if I do this, and if I'm at that state, then I will start and then I will do it." And I was constantly seeking a perfection that will never be there. Because like I said, people might look at you, someone might say, "Oh, this is perfect." Another person might say, "This is." And both are not wrong. You know, it's their opinion. So you can never reach that perfection. So for example, if I hadn't started three years ago with my YouTube channel, I would not be where I'm at right now, which is much more wisdom about things. I read much more. I also learned these things whilst I was going, you know. But imagine I had never uploaded my first video three years ago, I would not be in this position. Imagine I was scared of people, or I was scared because all my family, this and that. No, this was beneficial for everyone at the end, okay? And I took that risk because I believed in myself when no one believed in me. I believed in myself and I refuse to give up on myself. And you should do the same thing. Other people will never show up for you like you have to show up for yourself. You know, one day it's going to be you, like when you're sick or whatever, or like you don't look good anymore or whatever. Like so a lot of people will leave your life because they cannot benefit from you anymore. But who has to stay with you? You. You. You're the only one you will always have in the end. And that's the one you're neglecting for people that will leave your life tomorrow if you can't benefit them. Never ever dim your light for people that enjoy being in the darkness.
Anyways, guys, thank you so much for watching. But before I go, I want to mention that I have created something with my agency and team. We have created something very beautiful, some products that I love, and I know you guys will love too. I have the website linked, the store downstairs in the description. If you can click on it and if you can write down your email and also click on the survey so that we can understand what you guys want in the future, that will be very helpful. And I'm just so excited. I cannot wait to share what it is. And yeah, okay. Um, I love you guys so much. And yeah, thank you so much for watching. Love you. I hope this helped. Bye.