Transcription
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All that you said you're feeling is totally normal when your husband dies. I don't know what you think other people feel, or how long you think they feel it, but what you're going through is what human beings feel when they lose their partner, the love of their lives, their spouse of so many years. This is what you feel. The only way you could avoid this is to be in a coma.
Dr. Laura is on right now. I am really happy to read this article. I'm holding it up. We're videoing this, but on radio, I'm holding it up, okay? How We Learned to Buy Our Feelings. I normally do not have much respect for much. I'm gonna keep using the word "much" for much that shows up on Psychology Today. Sorry, I have not been incredibly impressed. My mind is totally blown on this article by Dr. Eric Solomon, S-O-L-O-M-O-N, Eric Solomon, PhD. How We Learned to Buy Our Feelings. The wellness industry is not fixing your pain, it's profiting from it. Woo hoo. Yes.
I feel like I'm no longer alone. Pounding on that drum, friends, sharing their latest attempts to feel better. They go on a retreat that promises to rewire their nervous system, a new supplement stack for focus, an emotional detox that costs more than a month's rent. The details vary, but the pattern is always the same. We're chasing calm, hustling for inner peace, like it's something we can earn if we just optimize hard enough. The world is increasingly fast, loud, and merciless. I liked that word, merciless, strong. The pace of modern life leaves little space to feel, let alone feel. Okay? So we reach for whatever promises moments of reprieve from the chaos.
The global wellness industry is worth over $6 trillion, and it's on track to reach $9 trillion by the end of 2028. But what it is really selling is not just vitamin cocktails, mindfulness courses, curated getaways. It's a story. It's a story that most people have internalized. It begins by convincing us that the world is too much to handle. I wanna stop on that point because I think I've made that point a zillion times with you folks. Every life has the ups and downs. Life is, as he wrote, challenging and sometimes merciless, fast and loud and competitive, and oh my gosh, merciless. And so many of you have been taught to hold on to old baggage and call it trauma and not be able to function as an adult until you do something with that trauma. This is part of the game that's been played on you, in my opinion, by the psychology industry and the pseudo or parapsychology industry that has all this wellness stuff attached to it.
We have the sense that we're always falling behind, that other people are focused more, accomplishing more, peace at peace, more. The endless scroll of curated lives, calm, focused, in control, and it always seems out of our reach, minimally, just not permanent. Then it offers the cure: the app, the course, the biohacking routine. The tools feel personal, even empowering, but they're still products in a bustling market priced for those who can afford to chase. We continue to chase, not because we're broken, but because the system is built to keep us wanting more of that peace, serenity, control, power. This is all more I'm reading than a cultural or economic pattern. It's a psychological trap. We're dialed in to seek relief when we're overwhelmed, and the wellness industry knows exactly how to sell it back to us. But most of what we buy doesn't actually meet the deeper need. It soothes briefly, but rarely resolves anything. We believe the next thing will make us happy. But the calm never lasts. The baseline resets. So we keep searching for more. The more we try and fail to find lasting inner peace, the more we start to believe it's something we simply can't access without buying it. And here's the best part. And in the process, we lose touch with something vital: the belief that we are capable of holding our own emotions, that peace is something we purchase rather than something we can build for ourselves. Therapists, retreats, private coaches, meditation apps, mindsets, advertising included, a friend who listens when they have time, but we're all expected to feel the same serenity, to keep up with the curated version of wellbeing we see across our feeds. And when we can't, we assume the problem is us. That we're not disciplined enough, not committed enough, not worthy enough of peace.
First thing, the first clue in recognizing all this is nonsense, is to stop treating our feelings as problems to solve. How many people have called and said, "What should I do with these feelings?" Nothing. Feel them. 20 minutes from now, you'll be feeling something else. If you talk to somebody, watch something, read something, trip and hurt your knee, you're gonna have different feelings. Let go of the idea that being okay is something we have to earn through discipline or some program that we pay for. Feeling okay is a fragile, fleeting human thing. That it's not something we build with better tools, but something we touch in unguarded moments when we stop performing, stop consuming, stop over-optimizing. And maybe the most radical act of all is to accept that sometimes we just won't feel okay. And that no product, no service, no practice will change that because it is what it means to be wholly human. I love this. This is sort of counter the stuff you usually read in psych journals and papers where, ah, you need our service. You need our service to feel better. Oh my gosh, I really enjoy that. Let me give a kudo again. Psychology Today. It's written by Eric Solomon, S-O-L-O-M-O-N. I didn't read the whole thing. I read the, uh, hot parts that I love the most. It's human and engaging in engaging your humanness. There are times you're gonna be up, down, sideways. That's just the way it is. It's not something to fix, it's something to understand and accept and move on from. And it's usually momentary. And feeling totally okay is momentary too. I mean, how much of the day do you think you're supposed to spend thinking you are amazing? Life is just amazing. How much time do you think you're supposed to spend feeling like that? Uh, anyway, gimme a call for whatever you're struggling with. Let's get to your humanity and have you accept it, not ruin it. My number 1 803 7 5 28 72. Uh, Victoria, welcome to the program.
Hi, Dr. Laura. Thank you so much for taking my call. You're welcome. Um, I'm really struggling because my husband passed away, my husband of 30 years. We were together for 35. He passed away six weeks ago today. And, um, I feel helpless, alone, scared to seek it, and I don't know how to handle it. Okay, can you hear me? Can you take a few breaths and listen? Yes. Can you, I'm sorry. Can you take a few breaths and listen? Yes. Okay. All that you said you're feeling is totally normal when your husband dies. I don't know what you think other people feel or how long you think they feel it. What you're going through is what human beings feel when they lose their partner, the love of their lives, their spouse of so many years. This is what you feel. The only way you could avoid this is to be in a coma. Otherwise, this is what it's like. So when you say, "I don't know how to make the feeling go away," or "I don't know how to feel better," I don't have to get rid of that. I don't know how not to be scared. When my husband died, I felt all those feelings. I sat here and listened to your list, and I went, "Yeah, that one too." Mm-hmm. And everybody listening to you right now, who has lost a spouse, is nodding their heads in affirmation also. And this is where friends and nice family come into play. You're gonna need them to rally around you to help you with things like finances, to help you with all the changes that have to occur now that you're by yourself with or without children.
So I have two children. One of them lives in Los Angeles, and my, my son lives with, with me, but he's autistic, so he doesn't talk much. And do you think I meant that your son was supposed to help you? I'm sorry? Do you think I meant your autistic son was supposed to help you right now? Well, he's 25. Well, if he's, if he's impaired, then obviously he's not the one we're talking about, sweetheart, extended family. He's the only one I help. Bye. Okay. Get on the phone and ask people to come visit and help you. Call your friends and ask for help. That's what I did. I walked around the house going, "I don't know how to take care of that. I don't know how to do this." And you ask friends to come help you. I don't think we do this well alone. I think that's why God didn't put each one of us on our own planet. Yeah. So you're gonna have to pick up the phone, just like you picked it up and called me, and call people to help you. Nothing to be embarrassed about or ashamed of, or awkward about. Everybody understands needing help at a time like this. Yeah. My neighbor comes over and asks me if I need help all the time, but then I feel like I'm being a pest or a burden because I ask so much. Well, I don't know where you get that from. If somebody asks to help you, the, obviously the whole notion of a burden or a pest is coming from you, not them. They're volunteering. Yeah. Probably. And you are hurting their feelings by sending them away, and you are hurting yourself. Oh, I don't send them away, but yes you do. Yes you do. If you don't give them ways to help you, you're sending them away. Yeah. It just hurt so bad. I understand that. We were expecting he was going to survive, and then he didn't. And yeah. And then the day he died, I left the room just for a moment, and I came back, and he had died. Yeah. And I feel so guilty. Okay. I'm curious about why you like to scoop up ugly feelings. You're a pain, you're a nuisance, you're guilty. If this has been your personality style, it's gonna be tough for you. Now, blaming yourself, feeling inadequate, criticizing yourself, not taking in help and love. You gotta dump that. He was gonna die whether or not you were in the room. Well, I never, you didn't change history. And after 35 years, I would think he knew you loved him when he passed. So you being in the room at that moment didn't mean anything against 35 years. So let's cut out all the negative stuff. If you were hoping he'd stay alive, that must mean you liked him. So I'm sure there are lovely things to remember about him and to reminisce and to talk to people about his family, et cetera. Yeah. But right now, you're gonna have to reach out with your neighbors and your friends and some relatives, whether they live close by or not, and ask for help. We can't do it alone and do it well. My number 1 803 7 5 28 72. Keisha, welcome to the program.
Hi, Dr. Laura. Thank you. Hi, what can I help you with? Um, yes, ma'am. Uh, so, um, I'm a single mom. Um, my kiddo is eight. Um, When you say single mom, do you mean you were never married? Yes, ma'am. So getting pregnant was kind of an accident, so to speak? Uh, yep. Sure enough. You said? Yes. Okay. Yes, ma'am. Mm-hmm. And so you and the dad, didn't, the dad of the kid didn't get together and get married afterwards? No, ma'am. And why not? How come you two didn't get married to make a family? I mean, we made a kid. How about making a family? How come we didn't? Hmm. Um, oh, oh, he decided to, um, be with, uh, the first woman that he made kids with. So you were having sex with a guy who already was making babies out of wedlock with somebody else? Yes. You got it right? Yes, ma'am. Mm-hmm. And why did you make that decision? It didn't seem like it offered a lot of security. What made that decision? Uh, well, it was an accidental pregnancy. Um, yeah. What made you the decision to have sex out of wedlock with a guy who was already having babies out of wedlock? That was my question. Uh, I guess. Oh, okay. Um, thank you. Um, so let's see. Um, I guess I was naive. No, you weren't. No, you weren't naive. You're not naive about anything. You had this guy, he was cool, little bit sexy. He's having babies with other women, and you decided to have sex with him anyway. How would that make you feel special or safe? Hmm. Uh, I, I, I said naive. Uh, do you have any, any other problems that you think maybe, but, um, yeah, I was expecting something that I didn't get. Okay. So here we are today, and how can I help? Um, okay. Let's see here. Um, I, I'm wondering, uh, should I, uh, it, it's a, a lot of drama as far as with, um, I don't know if I can trust him. Um, but my son needs a father, or he wants to know his father. And, um, I wanna give him that. Um, and It's, it's too can, it's too late to give to say you wanna give him that. It's too late. Why do you say that? Well, having unprotected sex with a guy who didn't want to make a family with you and be loyal and a good dad is why he doesn't have a dad today. Okay? So, So hopefully you have some brothers who are nice, a dad who is nice, a grandpa who is nice. I hope you have some family members that can fill in the space that you didn't choose to fill. Okay? So I don't, so now what, please? Oh, you have no relatives at all that are male? Now they can fill that space. No, I don't. Well, then he's going to do without. What else can I say? And that's why the decision you made that night, to have unprotected sex with a creepy guy in the hopes that somehow he would turn into a nice guy, love you, and be loyal to you, makes your son pay the price. Not everything can be fixed. That's why I do this on radio so people can hear a call like yours and make a better decision. My number 1 803 7 5 28 72, download the Dr. Laura call of the day and Dr. Laura's deep dive podcasts on my website, drlaura.com, the SiriusXM app, or wherever you listen to podcasts. Seeing fine lines and wrinkles creeping across your face. Oh, that's no day at the beach. Let Vibrance Super C Serum bring back your healthy glow, brighter, firmer, smoother. I'm so happy I discovered Super C Serum. It outshines other more expensive products I've tried. Vibrance Super C Serum is made with the highest quality vitamin C, hyaluronic acid, and vitamins B5 and E. Bursting with a citrusy scent, it hydrates, smooths, tones, and even helps fade the look of dark spots. So, simplify your skincare routine. Let Super C Serum replace your day cream, eye cream, night cream, neck cream, wrinkle creams. If you don't find it better than your current regimen, they'll give you a refund within a full year of your purchase. So go to vibrance.com/drlaura to save up to 37% off and get free shipping. That's vibrance, V-I-B-R-A-N-C-E, and vibrance.com/drlaura. Molly, welcome to the program.
I am calling because I heard you speak to this woman earlier today that her husband died about six weeks ago. And she's very emotional. I'm just the opposite. My husband passed away in April, and I just, I can't cry. I can't show any emotion. We were married for 58 years, good marriage, three children. I, I'm not a crier and I feel bad about it. Do you miss him very much? Would you like it if he was back here with you? Yes. There's nothing wrong with you. Some people are not very demonstrative. They hold things in, they turn 'em into different things, morph them into something else, being compulsive about cooking, whatever. So, you know, you loved him, you miss him, you're fine. You're not doing anything wrong. It's the loving and missing him. You wanna do these emotions, which is more important. Okay? So I just wait. I had the same thing when I lost other relatives, like my parents and all that. You're not demonstrative. They cried like six months, six months later. So, um, You're not demonstrative. I'll just step. Okay, let's not just in the prior caller who was sort of being negative about herself, you're doing a little of that too. You're feeling bad about yourself. There's something wrong with you because you're not that demonstrative. Right on. It's, it's okay. Everybody does this a bit differently. Okay. I guess that answers my question. Good. Relax with it. Thank you very much. You're very welcome. My number 1 803 7 5 28 72. Got a bunch of, uh, text messages and I wanted to share some with them. I like to sprinkle them through the show. This, uh, gentleman wrote, "Hey, he's from Brooklyn too. Good. Hey, big fan. Please feel free to use the following. If is the biggest obstacle in life. I've been complaining about people using 'if.' Don't 'if.' Try as a failure. I agree with that. 'If' is an obstacle. Try as a failure. Okay." This one's is seemingly, eh, it's not very heavy, but I liked it. "So thanks for everything you do to make the world a better place." Well, thank you. My quickie question. A dear friend of mine wants me to take my shoes off in her house, but to wear socks, no bare feet, or to wear shoe covers. I'm a type one diabetic, and my doctor recommends I keep shoes on at all times, even in my own house, which leaves me the shoe covers. I broke my foot a couple of years ago, and I'm afraid that I will slip on the floor in the shoe covers. Background: She is OCD, and if I do walk on her kitchen floor with shoes on, she has to mop when I leave, or she feels exposed to germs. I have walked with socks on her carpet, but I'm nervous I will step on a dog toy or baby toy. I have had foot injuries that have gotten infected. Part of the diabetes before the shoes on policy that was in place. Bee sting pedicures, wooden floor splinter. It's scary and involves medication and doctor appointments and money. My friend knows this. Okay, here we go. Point me in the right direction, please. Am I being reasonably cautious or bratty careful or paranoid? Should I tell her I can't come over or put the booties on and trust that I will be safe? Many thanks.
Okay, I look at this a number of different ways. She's got a mental disorder, so you're not gonna be able to be rational with her because she has a mental disorder, and that orders her thinking and makes her non-negotiable. Number two, you've got a medical history that understandably makes you nervous of falling or cutting your feet or anything. So we have a number of options. And one of the options is you don't go to her house. You tell her, "I can't accommodate your requirement with my medical history." So we can meet at a restaurant, at a park. We can meet at a park. You can go to my house if she's willing to walk around in anybody else's house for fear of germs. Uh, so you can make other arrangements, or I have a pair of these, they're fuzzy socks, and they come in big sizes, but on the bottom, they have the no-slip tread. It's just a little bit of, uh, it's, it's not a plastic. Maybe it's a plastic or kind of rubber, uh, that sticks a little bit, but it looks like a sock. But you won't slip in those, and you put them over your shoes. So those are the silly options I had. She wrote a PS and I'm gonna read this, even though this is 25 years of past history. She goes, "I was a dear friend of Larry Metzler. Larry Metzler when I was at KFI AM 640, More Stimulating Talk Radio was my engineer. He engineered the program. He worked with you a hundred years ago, eh, not that many. And when all the anti-gay nonsense was going around about you, he told me none of it was true. Actually, Larry was gay, by the way." Not true, actually. I've worked with her, and she was great to work for. And the writer goes, "I am not gay, but don't tolerate prejudice. Larry's comment changed my listening habits. And here we are decades later, and I'm still one of your listeners. You've certainly made your mark on me and my life, and I'm grateful." And the point of me reading this, and anybody who knew me knew that there was not an anti-gay bone in my body. Okay, let me do one more before I take another call. Oh, since we started talking about this, good morning, by the way, to send a quickie, you just write to me at quickie, Q-U-I-C-K-I-E, quickie@drlaura.com. I have always gone by the thought that I am the one responsible for my own happiness. That's a story that's gained a lot of psych traction over the decades. Recently, I've run across some people who would call that thought press, I'm sorry, thought process. Their theory being that if people in your life don't value or emotionally support you, they are partially responsible for your lack of happiness. Your thoughts. Here are my thoughts. I'm gonna read, read that last part again. The theory being, if people in your life don't value or emotionally support you, they're responsible for your lack of happiness. No, they're not. When they don't support you, they are not responsible for your lack of happiness. You are, by keeping them in your life. If people in your life support you, value you, emotionally support you, then they are partially responsible for your happiness, but not the other way around. If people are hurting you and you don't dismiss them from your life, you are hurting you by keeping bad people in your life to hurt you. I'm silent because I want you really to think about that. Of course, other people contribute to our happiness. When somebody remembers something that's nice about you and they call you, or that makes you happy for the moment, not necessarily change your whole philosophy of life, but that's a happy moment. That's a joyous, pleasurable, peaceful, happy moment. When somebody is good to you in some way, but when they're bad to you, has a pattern, you're responsible for your unhappiness by keeping them in your life. That's a heavy duty concept. Think about it. Gonna take a break. Come back with your calls at 1 803 7 5 28 72. Download the Dr. Laura Call of the Day and Dr. Laura's Deep Dive podcasts on my website, drlaura.com, the SiriusXM app, or wherever you listen to podcasts. I know a lot of people would do anything to avoid going to the doctor. Then there are people like me who like to be proactive. Field of Greens helps both types do the right thing for their health. Drinking doctor-formulated Field of Greens each day not only helps you feel amazing, it can show up in your next checkup. If it doesn't, you get your money back. One Field of Greens customer wrote, "The best blood work I've had in a decade. My doctor said, 'Whatever you're doing, keep doing it.'" Another says, "For the first time in years, my cholesterol numbers are normal." And a mom said, "After Field of Greens, my hair, nails, energy, and blood work all better." Each fruit and veggie in Field of Greens is carefully chosen by doctors to support key organs like heart and liver, kidneys, metabolism, immune system, and healthy blood cells. So let me get you started with 20% off and free shipping. Visit fieldofgreens.com and use my code Dr. Laura. That's fieldofgreens.com, code Dr. Laura. Are you traveling this summer? Will you leave instructions for a house sitter, the name and number of your vet, the code to your alarm system? Think about the steps you take to prepare for a vacation, and you'll get a sense of what goes into a Knock Box. Knock Box is a complete system that helps you organize all of your accounts, possessions, and estate plans for your next of kin. Each Knock Box comes with a comprehensive checklist that helps ensure you add everything they'll need to manage your estate when you're gone, from your funeral directives to your insurance policies, and even the keys to your storage unit. The Knock Box helps you organize it all. If you've got a household, you need a Knock Box. Right now, Dr. Laura listeners, save 16% off the Knock Box of your choice. So go to theknockbox.com/drlaura. That's the N-O-C-K Knock Box.com/drlaura to get organized and save, or visit our sponsor page at drlaura.com and click the Knock Box logo. Francis, welcome to the program.
Yeah, thank you, Doctor, for taking my call. You're welcome. My issue is, I, I wanna see if I could get some advice about, uh, how to convince my wife that she shouldn't feel threatened by a relationship that I renewed. I went back to my high school reunion, my 30th high school reunion, and I just found such, uh, joy and pleasure, uh, talking with one of my schoolmates who's a woman. She's married, she's unhappy in her marriage. And, uh, Okay, you can stop. You can stop now. You're full of crap, Francis. I caught it early. You're challenging your marriage. I don't, she feels, she feels reasonably worried. You're not acting like the best husband these days. And now you're talking about this great joy in somebody you knew a million years ago, and you really don't know what being married to them would be like. And she's not happy in her marriage. And you're being so sympathetic. This is terrible what you're doing. Terrible, terrible. What? Oh, I knew there's a what? But in, in, in my own defense. There is no defense. She. No defense. Don't bother. She says, no defense. Younger than me. Do you not hear the words? No defense. There's no defense for this behavior. And her husband. It's wrong. I think it makes me a better husband. No, it doesn't because I don't need her. No, it doesn't. Oh, you are so full of it. No, it doesn't. But you are good. You're good at twisting things. I thought you would understand. Yeah. You thought I would understand. She's younger than me. And because a woman knows my. And she grew up with me. Francis, you're self-serving, full of crap. That's my diagnosis. And your wife deserves better than you. Well, I can't, I can't leave my wife because I actually worked for her father in, in a real estate business that I put many years into. Uh, I just need this other aspect of my life because she's younger than me. She doesn't understand the music I grew up with and, and, and my values. And I, I thought it would actually in the long run, uh, help our marriage 'cause I'd be willing to stay with her if I had this other outlet. I have nothing more to say to you. Oh, oh boy. Goodbye. My number 1 803 7 5 28 72. Out of maturity there. Okay. I'm of the position that some people cannot be helped by me. Jamie, welcome to the program.
Hi, Dr. Laura. Hi. I am out for a walk right now with the kids, so if it's a little noisy. Oh, it sounds good so far. I gotta keep them quiet somehow. Sounds fine. Go ahead. All right. So my mom's been listening to you for over 20 years, so she will be happy that I finally took your advice to call you. Okay? But so I, I have this mother-in-law, and that's what I call her, this mother-in-law. So I feel like she overstepped her boundaries, but I kind of want your opinion. Okay. If I'm overstepping, boundaries is not a feeling, it's an opinion. Let's not do the girly feeling thing. Yeah, exactly. That's why I want your opinion. So for Mother's Day, I got a gift from my husband and I opened it, and it said my baby's name, who is six months old, and my son's name, who is, um, two years old with Cray in there. And I was a little confused that it was from them, but it was from my mother-in-law. Wait a minute, your husband didn't make me feel tried to pat. I, I'm very confused. Your husband gave you a Mother's Day. So he seen, he did not give you a Mother's Day present. He delivered his mother's present to you? No, no, no. He gave me a Mother's Day. He's always good with that. Oh, he gives me gifts from the kids and from himself. What was this box then? But she gave him something to give to me. Ah, it was a blanket and a card that had my kids' names signed inside of it. Okay. So I thought that was like a little weird. Like, my husband could handle this. That's his job. I'm as the husband. What his was, ma'am, what the hell was weird? So I just, well, and then for Father's Day, I just got an envelope in the mail with a father, Jamie. Father. Woo-hoo. Woo-hoo. Woo-hoo. Can you are, are you gonna have this conversation with me or not? Because I said what was weird about getting a blanket with a card with their names on? What was weird about that? The weird thing that it was from my mother-in-law and not from my husband. Like, I feel like that's my husband's job. Okay, that's kids thought. Woo-hoo. I thought you said he gave you a Mother's Day present separate from that box. Yeah, he always does stuff for me, for the kids. Well, then it makes no sense you but this. Okay, I'm gonna put you on hold and maybe you need to talk to the screener a little bit more to sort of get squared away. They were separate gifts. And then you said, I'm sorry, too confusing. My number, but doesn't sound like it has anything to do with her overstepping anything. My number 1 803 7 5 28 72. Tatiana, welcome to the program.
Hello, Dr. Lo. Hi, Tatiana. Um, I'm the first time, uh, hello, can you hear me? Yes, ma'am. How can I help? Hello? Uh, okay. Okay. I have a dilemma about my son and his teacher. My son is 13 years old. This is a religious school. Uh, as you know, the school is almost over, but when it was the second trimester, uh, uh, I have some parents, uh, approach me and they were asking me how do I like the certain teachers? And, uh, because the kids were very confused. It was a bad teacher. They never knew what to study, uh, like compared to the other teachers. And they went and complained about her and they asked me if I wanna, if I wanna do the same thing because something needs to change. But I was really busy with my work and everything and I never went. And I regret it now because it's, uh, end of the year. And now I feel this teacher is speaking on my kid. Um, uh, first of all, I can say he has A's and B's in all the subjects. And he had a D in her subject. So I sent her an email and I said, "If there's anything I could do," this was about three weeks ago. This end of the year is almost over. I'm very worried. Anything you can do about what? He got B's in her class. So, so what? Well, uh, the, there's like anything I can do to help him to fix his grade because he had a D about a month ago, and he's doing like excellent in every other subject. So, ma'am, my Yes. You're cracking me up. Why? Your kid earned a D. Yes. Well, and if you weren't so busy with other things, you could go to parent-teacher conferences and ask, uh, what happened? You can ask your son what happened, what, what I was doing. I was emailing to her. I was emailing to her to let me know what happened, you know, and she didn't post any grades for a month. Like nothing, nothing was changing, ma'am. So that's why I emailed her. Did your son bring home an exam with the letter D on it? Go through his backpack, go through his drawers, find out where his homework assignments are, where his exams are, and you'll know the answer. You gotta pay more attention to what comes through the house. Well, I do. Everything is on an iPad these days. So, and then when I ask him, "How did you do on the test?" He tells me, uh, well, I don't know yet, but you know, we are waiting on her to put the grades in. Okay. Which, And then do you follow up and say, "Where's do you follow up and say, where's the grade?" And do you see the grade? Yes. So you see, yes, I did follow up and I sent an email to her. Okay. And her response was that she was very busy with the graduation with the A grade. Okay. Because she was like a homeroom teacher to them. Mm-hmm. So I said, okay. And after that email, she told me that, um, my son was disrespectful to another kid. And I said, in, in what way? Because he is in the seventh grade. I'm not saying that in this seven years. And she answered, "You asked, what did he do?" And she said, "What?" She says, "Well, he is a follower, and the kids follow him. And he didn't want one kid to sit next to him, so he told him to go sit away or something ridiculous like that." And I said, "Oh, okay. I'm very sorry." So I sent her an email. Okay. And then she also says that they said, she said, he said something. I have a recommendation, but she didn't. I have a recommendation. Yes. Okay. You've put him in a school or in a class where there's a male teacher. A male teacher never would've handled it that way. That's my recommend. Well, I can't see which school now. Yeah, you can. It's, it's almost over. Find a new school for the rest of his career. Get him out of there and get him in school where the teachers are men, then you don't have this female stuff. He wouldn't sit next to somebody. Oh god, these woke female teachers drive you up a wall, don't they? My number 1 803 7 5 28 72. Download the Dr. Laura Call of the Day and Dr. Laura's Deep Dive podcasts on my website, drlaura.com, the SiriusXM app, or wherever you listen to podcasts. Hi there, I'm Stacy, Dr. Laura's content guide. Have you ever had a problem and wondered, "What would Dr. Laura say?" Well, I've been having some marriage problems lately. I'm no longer speaking to my family 'cause they were mean to my wife. My husband says he doesn't feel a spark between us anymore, and I, I just dunno what to do. Struggling as a stay-at-home mom, dealing with a divorce, managing mother-in-law issues. Just tell Stacy, and she'll recommend calls of the day, deep dive podcasts, and even YouTube videos. I'm seeing a strong theme in Dr. Laura's resources about dealing with family members who are disrespectful or unwelcoming towards a spouse. Which of those topics stand out to you? Really? I can't wait to hear how Stacy helps you. It's a brave new world. Join me on this journey and let's make a difference together.
Francis, welcome to the program. Yeah, thank you, Doctor, for taking my call. You're welcome. My issue is, I, I wanna see if I could get some advice about, uh, how to convince my wife that she shouldn't feel threatened by a relationship that I renewed. I went back to my high school reunion, my 30th high school reunion, and I just found such, uh, joy and pleasure, uh, talking with one of my schoolmates who's a woman. She's married, she's unhappy in her marriage. And, uh, Okay, you can stop. You can stop now. You're full of crap, Francis. I caught it early. You're challenging your marriage. I don't, she feels, she feels reasonably worried. You're not acting like the best husband these days. And now you're talking about this great joy in somebody you knew a million years ago, and you really don't know what being married to them would be like. And she's not happy in her marriage. And you're being so sympathetic. This is terrible what you're doing. Terrible, terrible. What? Oh, I knew there's a what? But in, in, in my own defense. There is no defense. She. No defense. Don't bother. She says, no defense. Younger than me. Do you not hear the words? No defense. There's no defense for this behavior. And her husband. It's wrong. I think it makes me a better husband. No, it doesn't because I don't need her. No, it doesn't. Oh, you are so full of it. No, it doesn't. But you are good. You're good at twisting things. I thought you would understand. Yeah. You thought I would understand. She's younger than me. And because a woman knows my. And she grew up with me. Francis, you're self-serving, full of crap. That's my diagnosis. And your wife deserves better than you. Well, I can't, I can't leave my wife because I actually worked for her father in, in a real estate business that I put many years into. Uh, I just need this other aspect of my life because she's younger than me. She doesn't understand the music I grew up with and, and, and my values. And I, I thought it would actually in the long run, uh, help our marriage 'cause I'd be willing to stay with her if I had this other outlet. I have nothing more to say to you. Oh, oh boy. Goodbye. My number 1 803 7 5 28 72. Out of maturity there. Okay. I'm of the position that some people cannot be helped by me. Jamie, welcome to the program.
Hi, Dr. Laura. Hi. I am out for a walk right now with the kids, so if it's a little noisy. Oh, it sounds good so far. I gotta keep them quiet somehow. Sounds fine. Go ahead. All right. So my mom's been listening to you for over 20 years, so she will be happy that I finally took your advice to call you. Okay? But so I, I have this mother-in-law, and that's what I call her, this mother-in-law. So I feel like she overstepped her boundaries, but I kind of want your opinion. Okay. If I'm overstepping, boundaries is not a feeling, it's an opinion. Let's not do the girly feeling thing. Yeah, exactly. That's why I want your opinion. So for Mother's Day, I got a gift from my husband and I opened it, and it said my baby's name, who is six months old, and my son's name, who is, um, two years old with Cray in there. And I was a little confused that it was from them, but it was from my mother-in-law. Wait a minute, your husband didn't make me feel tried to pat. I, I'm very confused. Your husband gave you a Mother's Day. So he seen, he did not give you a Mother's Day present. He delivered his mother's present to you? No, no, no. He gave me a Mother's Day. He's always good with that. Oh, he gives me gifts from the kids and from himself. What was this box then? But she gave him something to give to me. Ah, it was a blanket and a card that had my kids' names signed inside of it. Okay. So I thought that was like a little weird. Like, my husband could handle this. That's his job. I'm as the husband. What his was, ma'am, what the hell was weird? So I just, well, and then for Father's Day, I just got an envelope in the mail with a father, Jamie. Father. Woo-hoo. Woo-hoo. Woo-hoo. Can you are, are you gonna have this conversation with me or not? Because I said what was weird about getting a blanket with a card with their names on? What was weird about that? The weird thing that it was from my mother-in-law and not from my husband. Like, I feel like that's my husband's job. Okay, that's kids thought. Woo-hoo. I thought you said he gave you a Mother's Day present separate from that box. Yeah, he always does stuff for me, for the kids. Well, then it makes no sense you but this. Okay, I'm gonna put you on hold and maybe you need to talk to the screener a little bit more to sort of get squared away. They were separate gifts. And then you said, I'm sorry, too confusing. My number, but doesn't sound like it has anything to do with her overstepping anything. My number 1 803 7 5 28 72. Tatiana, welcome to the program.
Hello, Dr. Lo. Hi, Tatiana. Um, I'm the first time, uh, hello, can you hear me? Yes, ma'am. How can I help? Hello? Uh, okay. Okay. I have a dilemma about my son and his teacher. My son is 13 years old. This is a religious school. Uh, as you know, the school is almost over, but when it was the second trimester, uh, uh, I have some parents, uh, approach me and they were asking me how do I like the certain teachers? And, uh, because the kids were very confused. It was a bad teacher. They never knew what to study, uh, like compared to the other teachers. And they went and complained about her and they asked me if I wanna, if I wanna do the same thing because something needs to change. But I was really busy with my work and everything and I never went. And I regret it now because it's, uh, end of the year. And now I feel this teacher is speaking on my kid. Um, uh, first of all, I can say he has A's and B's in all the subjects. And he had a D in her subject. So I sent her an email and I said, "If there's anything I could do," this was about three weeks ago. This end of the year is almost over. I'm very worried. Anything you can do about what? He got B's in her class. So, so what? Well, uh, the, there's like anything I can do to help him to fix his grade because he had a D about a month ago, and he's doing like excellent in every other subject. So, ma'am, my Yes. You're cracking me up. Why? Your kid earned a D. Yes. Well, and if you weren't so busy with other things, you could go to parent-teacher conferences and ask, uh, what happened? You can ask your son what happened, what, what I was doing. I was emailing to her. I was emailing to her to let me know what happened, you know, and she didn't post any grades for a month. Like nothing, nothing was changing, ma'am. So that's why I emailed her. Did your son bring home an exam with the letter D on it? Go through his backpack, go through his drawers, find out where his homework assignments are, where his exams are, and you'll know the answer. You gotta pay more attention to what comes through the house. Well, I do. Everything is on an iPad these days. So, and then when I ask him, "How did you do on the test?" He tells me, uh, well, I don't know yet, but you know, we are waiting on her to put the grades in. Okay. Which, And then do you follow up and say, "Where's do you follow up and say, where's the grade?" And do you see the grade? Yes. So you see, yes, I did follow up and I sent an email to her. Okay. And her response was that she was very busy with the graduation with the A grade. Okay. Because she was like a homeroom teacher to them. Mm-hmm. So I said, okay. And after that email, she told me that, um, my son was disrespectful to another kid. And I said, in, in what way? Because he is in the seventh grade. I'm not saying that in this seven years. And she answered, "You asked, what did he do?" And she said, "What?" She says, "Well, he is a follower, and the kids follow him. And he didn't want one kid to sit next to him, so he told him to go sit away or something ridiculous like that." And I said, "Oh, okay. I'm very sorry." So I sent her an email. Okay. And then she also says that they said, she said, he said something. I have a recommendation, but she didn't. I have a recommendation. Yes. Okay. You've put him in a school or in a class where there's a male teacher. A male teacher never would've handled it that way. That's my recommend. Well, I can't see which school now. Yeah, you can. It's, it's almost over. Find a new school for the rest of his career. Get him out of there and get him in school where the teachers are men, then you don't have this female stuff. He wouldn't sit next to somebody. Oh god, these woke female teachers drive you up a wall, don't they? My number 1 803 7 5 28 72. Download the Dr. Laura Call of the Day and Dr. Laura's Deep Dive podcasts on my website, drlaura.com, the SiriusXM app, or wherever you listen to podcasts. Hi there, I'm Stacy, Dr. Laura's content guide. Have you ever had a problem and wondered, "What would Dr. Laura say?" Well, I've been having some marriage problems lately. I'm no longer speaking to my family 'cause they were mean to my wife. My husband says he doesn't feel a spark between us anymore, and I, I just dunno what to do. Struggling as a stay-at-home mom, dealing with a divorce, managing mother-in-law issues. Just tell Stacy, and she'll recommend calls of the day, deep dive podcasts, and even YouTube videos. I'm seeing a strong theme in Dr. Laura's resources about dealing with family members who are disrespectful or unwelcoming towards a spouse. Which of those topics stand out to you? Really? I can't wait to hear how Stacy helps you. It's a brave new world. Join me on this journey and let's make a difference together.