Transcription
Next, ladies, let's be real. Getting older does kind of suck. We were raised to be cute, right? That was a standard. Pretty enough, thin enough, put together enough, and now that mirror isn't giving us that back. Gravity has its own agenda. My skin isn't bouncing back, and my body has aches that I definitely did not sign up for. So, yeah, I do hate parts of it. I made my looks my currency, and it feels like I'm slowly going broke.
For a large portion of their early lives, many women benefit from something often called pretty privilege. When a woman is young and physically attractive, the world responds differently to her. People are kinder. Strangers are more helpful. Mistakes are forgiven more easily. Men offer attention, favors, gifts, free drinks, and opportunities. Sometimes consciously, sometimes subconsciously.
What happens when the male gaze disappears? I used to center my life around beauty. I know it sounds vain. When I was younger, it was literally the only thing that I thought was my worth, being beautiful, power, whether it was getting into first in line at in the VIP section at nightclubs or getting the chosen table at a fancy restaurant with the man I was with. It was a way to get provided for and supported by men. I just got out of the the gym. At my age, I'm invisible. I did a post about this earlier. Really grieving the loss of beauty because it was such a part of my identity.
Society openly rewards youth and beauty, especially in women. When a woman is in her late teens or 20s, her appearance alone can open doors. She's protected more and given the benefit of the doubt more often. Men go out of their way to please her, impress her, and accommodate her. That experience shapes how many women come to understand the world. But this privilege is temporary.
Women when aging become invisible in some way. People care less about them, look at them less. Does that scare you? I think it does scare me a little bit because as a young attractive woman, I reap the rewards of being a woman. Men always like to make comments about how, oh my gosh, women live life on easy mode. It must be so nice being a woman. And usually what they're referring to is how women get softer treatment. They get things for free. They have an easier time acquiring sex and attention. But men who make these comments fail to consider that it's only a specific demographic of women that reap these benefits. And that demographic is young, attractive women. As a woman ages, she becomes less desirable and so she becomes more invisible as this commenter said. And that doesn't bode very well for me because my entire persona is based around the fact that I am a cute young woman. And if you aren't familiar with me, I'm a diagnosed psychopath and that's what I talk about on my page. So the image I've curated of myself is very important to how I live my life. And I have been young and cute my entire life. So that's what I play up. And it's very, very easy to go about manipulating people when you have both of those things being true. People love to help young pretty women, but once you age, that goes away. And as I age, I'll have to pivot my strategy. I'm lucky to have been born into the body that I was. But aging is an inevitable process in life. So it is a little bit daunting to know that I will not be able to operate as I have been forever.
As women age, their youth fades. Their physical appeal changes. The effortless attention slows down. The free favors disappear. The random kindness becomes rarer. Men stop approaching as often. Compliments become infrequent. Invitations dry up. Eventually, many women experience something they never had to face before. Invisibility. And this is where the shock sets in.
I used to be hot. not ridiculously hot, but like a solid seven out of 10 hot. Um, recently, as you can see, I'm no longer hot. Granted, I'm 35 now. A lot has changed in the last 5 years, uh, externally and internally and in my lifestyle. Um, I've become a mother. I also work in corporate now, which I didn't six years ago. All that to say, I no longer like the way I look.
For the first time, many women are treated the way most men are treated their entire lives. Judged on usefulness, competence, and what they bring to the table rather than how they look. No special treatment, no automatic interest, no free passes, just neutral indifference. Men grow up in this reality from the start. They learn early that attention must be earned through effort, status, skill, or value. Women who relied heavily on beauty often never had to develop that muscle. So when the privilege fades, the adjustment is painful.
I'm 60 years old and I can't keep my makeup on today because I keep having these bouts of little tears that just sort of burst forward. I'm not a crier and I'm not even that emotional of a person outwardly. But this age, it comes with so many changes and hard things.
This is why many women struggle emotionally as they age. It's not just about wrinkles or weight gain. It's about the loss of identity. When the world stops responding the way it used to, it forces a realization. beauty was doing more work than they thought. Some women adapt. They build character, competence, wisdom, and depth. They learn how to create value beyond appearance. These women transition smoothly into the next phase of life. But many don't. Instead, they become bitter, resentful, or angry. They blame society, men, dating apps, or younger women. They say men have changed or can't handle strong women. In reality, the rules didn't change. The privilege expired. What makes this ironic is that aging women are now experiencing the same emotional conditions men have always lived with. Being ignored, overlooked, and expected to prove worth before receiving attention, and many women find it intolerable. This isn't cruelty, it's reality.
I turned 40. My face started to change. My eyeballs started to sink in. You know, when you age from here, like around your nose, your skull starts to cave in. It would have been nice to get a heads up on that because it when you start seeing those changes, it was actually kind of hard. The reality hits cuz you think when you're younger, you think like, oh, that's never going to be me. Why are these women doing all this stuff like Botox? Gross. And you get to that age and you're like, do I want to do Botox? You understand it a little more. Do I want to get a face lift? When you're young, you're like, never, that's gross.
Pretty privilege was never permanent. And it was never guaranteed. It was borrowed time. The women who understood that prepared for life after it. The women who didn't are often the loudest about how unfair the world feels now. In the end, youth fades for everyone. The difference is whether someone built anything underneath it before it was gone.
I'm 74, never had children, and here's a truth of what happens. So, for whatever reason, did you end up not having children, too? And hopefully, you've made peace with that. But every now and then a little thought pops up about like, "Oh god, what's going to happen when I'm older and who's going to look out for me?" Well, I kind of worry about that myself and so should you actually. So, if you're in this situation, it's important you make plans now. A lot of women I speak to have a lot of anxiety also around aging. What do you say to that?
Cuz you are stunningly beautiful at 88 years old. Sorry, I didn't mean to say her age.
The fact she did not want to say her age and apologized for saying it tells you everything you need to know. Real men of genius.
Real men of genius.