Transcription
Well, winter seems to have finally come to the Mid-Atlantic. It is a bit chilly out here today. Today it's about, I know, four or five days after Thanksgiving, and I was thinking about what Thanksgiving meant to me when I was growing up. And really, I didn't get it. I mean, it was sandwiched between Halloween and Christmas, which were the two best holidays of the year if you're a kid. And Thanksgiving, I remember just playing football with my friends out in the street, coming inside to eat as fast as I could so I could get back outside and play again. But it didn't really have that much meaning to me. I remember, you know, making all the little turkeys with your hands and doing all that crap and talking about the pilgrims and everything, but it didn't really have much meaning.
Here recently, as I've been getting older, it does have more meaning, especially as you start stripping your life down to just the bare necessities and those things that are most important to you. And Thanksgiving does have a lot more meaning. You stop taking things for granted. People who are probably the best ones to talk to about this are people who are in hospice, people who are at the end of their lives, because they can reflect back on their own lives and give us some insight as to what they would do differently. And I think today would be a great day to do just that.
So I don't know if you guys have ever seen hospice nurse Julie, but I came across her channel I don't know, months or maybe a year ago, and I watch it from time to time because getting feedback from people who are, um, on their deathbeds, who are actually in the process of transitioning, um, is very insightful. Because when you're actually staring your own mortality in the face, you really start to get focused on what's most important, what really matters. And I'm going to read to you today a list of things that they identify that they felt were most important to them, and if they could do it over again, how they would re-prioritize their lives to include these 10 important factors. So let's get to it. All right.
So number 10, which should come as no surprise to anyone, is they all wish they had taken better care of their bodies. They'd taken better care of themselves; they had been eating right and exercising. This makes a lot of sense because the vast majority of people today are not dying from infectious diseases or just from old age; they're dying from chronic illnesses, primarily from heart attacks or heart disease and cancer. And, of course, things like high blood pressure and diabetes play a significant role in the development of those diseases. The best way that you can take care of yourself is to eat a healthier diet. And I know a lot of you guys have a lot of different opinions about what a healthy diet is, but for the vast majority of human beings, it's eating a lot of fruits and vegetables, greens and grains, beans, um, keeping your saturated fat down, and um, exercising on a regular basis. You don't have to be crazy exercise, but you should definitely get out for a walk every, every day for 20 to 30 minutes, a couple times a day, and you should probably be lifting weights at least a couple times a week. Doing that will add years to your life, and not only will it add years to your life, but it'll add healthy years to your life, which, which is really the most important thing. All right.
Number nine, they wish they didn't worry so much. Worrying is being afraid of things that haven't happened yet. I remember as a kid, I used to worry about going to the dentist. I hated the dentist. Oh my god, did I ever. Uh, growing up in a military family, I used to see military dentists as a child. These are like dentists in training, and they are not the best at bedside manner. I remember going to this, um, Navy facility, and, uh, all these chairs were just lined up in this huge ass room with all these dentists standing there. There must have been 20 dental chairs with 20 dentists all in like military fashion, and you just took a number, you sat there till the next available guy was available, and then you just went. You didn't know what you were getting. I remember that guy hurt me, and I bit him. I was probably like six or seven years old, and I remember learning some words that I had not heard before. Anyway, since that day, the dentist has not been my friend. However, I have found that it's not nearly as bad as I used to think, and in fact, I have a really great relationship with my dentist, and I think all the staff at his office seem to really enjoy seeing me since I pay them so much money. But, um, yeah, worrying is not worth it, and you know, you just got to stay present. There are so many people who spend so much time thinking about things that are never going to happen, and they just waste their lives away at that. So worrying, obviously, is something that's a waste of time, and since time is limited, don't waste it. Don't waste it worrying about stuff that ain't never going to happen. And if it does happen, you'll deal with it when it does. Simple as that.
Number eight, people wish they had pursued their dreams, which I think is fantastic. Um, you definitely do not want to die with your music in you. That means you need to go and do those things that you feel you are supposed to be doing. Um, and I think that too often times we find excuses for not doing the things that we would love to do and spend our lives doing. If you're not going to do it now, when are you going to do it? We put it off; we put it off; we put it off. You know, the kids have to grow up, whatever, one thing after another. You know, Now's the Time. Now's the Time. Just go out there and do it. Figure out what it is you want to do. If you got to save some money, save some money. If you got to make a plan, make a plan, but just do it. Do not die wishing you had done something when you had the chance. Now is your chance, so just do it. Don't die with your music in you.
Number seven, people wish that they had, um, been better with their family, that they had given their family more attention and love, especially their kids and their grandkids, and even their, their parents. Um, I don't know why we end up with the families that we end up with, but I have to assume that there is some reason for it, and there are only so many people in this world who you can trust, and I hope that most of you feel like your family are among those people. It's very important to express appreciation for them, and even people who have wronged you, you know, and just forgiving them and letting it go and appreciating the role that they've played in your life and expressing that appreciation because, you know, relationships are where you grow, and growth is painful. So if someone in your life has caused you some pain, there's a pretty good chance that that person's involved in your education on some level, and expressing a little appreciation for that will probably do both your souls a lot of good. So I would say that, um, appreciating your, your family, even those that you don't agree with so much, is probably a great idea because one day you're not going to get the chance. One day they're going to be gone, or you're going to be gone, and whatever your legacy is with them will be written in history. So if you don't want what's happened so far to be what's written about you or said about you or thought of about you for eternity, then straighten it out, get it right now, because you may not get another chance. All right.
Number six, people wish they had taken more risks, which I think is fascinating. I think that life is meant to be lived, and I say that a lot in these videos, and I don't know that I necessarily explain what it means. I think that life is about the experience, that the experience is what's the most important thing. And if you don't live your life fully by doing those things that you feel are important to you, even if that means a certain amount of risk, then you're probably missing the opportunity. I like to think of my own personal life as, you know, like a story that I'm writing, and I am the main character. And, um, I mean, I don't want to do anything foolish, but at least not anymore. I mean, but there was a time when I did a lot of foolish stuff, and even though in reflection I can say that those things were foolish and I took a lot of risks, I am so glad that I did it. Whether it have been, you know, doing crazy things with my friends or, uh, you know, jumping out of airplanes or, um, playing, you know, rough sports or even getting married and having kids and all that, all that goes with it, quitting my job, starting a new business, everything, lots of risk involved, lots of rewards involved. The rewards far outweigh the fear that went with any of the risks. So don't be afraid to put yourself out there; don't be afraid to step out of your comfort zone and do those things that you feel compelled to do, because even if you fail, you never really fail unless you don't try. So try it and see what happens.
Number five, this is one of my favorites. People regret not allowing themselves to be happier. And I think this is fascinating because the idea that we allow ourselves to be happier, I think, is really foreign to most people. Most people believe that their happiness is going to come as a result of some external event or person or situation or whatever. And the truth of the matter is is that through appreciation, like what we're talking about right now and gratitude, you can find happiness in almost any set of circumstances. I mean, even people on their deathbeds can find happiness in the experience of sharing with their families, talking about the past, um, just experiencing the love in that moment. And I think that giving yourself the chance to be happy by opening the door to that possibility every day, your life just develops a whole new sense of, of richness and texture, and the likelihood that you're going to be laying on your deathbed regretting something is diminished significantly. You reduce that chance by a lot. So don't miss the opportunity to be happy; take it, take it every day. It's worth it.
Number four, and this is one of my, my own personal biggest regrets, is losing track of friends, losing connection with friends. You know, as I was growing up and through my teens and 20s, I had so many friends, and, um, I regret losing touch with them. And, uh, some of them died, you know, I'll never get a chance to see them again, um, but there's some of them are still out there, and I'm going to reach out to them because no matter what's happened in the past or, you know, how things ended, there's such great history there, and there's such, you know, it's just such an opportunity to have some continuity in your, your life when you make a connection with a friend that you had say when you were a kid, a teenager, or whatever. And now with all of our interconnectedness and Facebook and all that stuff, you should, should be able to find most of them. You know, it shouldn't be too tough to find them. So reconnect with your old friends; don't lose touch with them; make them part of your life, even if you're not in complete agreement, even if they didn't vote for your candidate, whatever the case may be, just reconnect because the relationships are, are critical, and, um, you never know when you might need a friend, you know, and I think we all could use a little more friends in our lives. So reconnect with your friends.
Number three, expressing their feelings. People regretted not expressing more gratitude to the people in their lives and telling people that they loved them. Those are two really big ones. Can you imagine going to your deathbed without having told your children that you love them or without, uh, expressing gratitude to your parents for raising you? You know, they may not have done a great job; they may have screwed things up, but, you know, most parents try their best. I mean, they may not do it right, but they definitely try their best given the circumstances. And yeah, I think that you have to definitely come to terms with that and, uh, and say your peace before it's too late because, um, yeah, time keeps moving forward, and having the opportunity to experience the love that goes with expressing gratitude to those people in your life, it's, yeah, it's, um, it's irreplaceable, it's invaluable, it's impossible to measure. So don't let those opportunities slide by; you got to take the moment, even though sometimes it feels uncomfortable, you just got to, you just got to do it. You know, my mother was never very good at expressing emotion; she was never very nurturing as a mother. Now that she's sick and she's near the end of her life, she's making a point of trying to be a little more affectionate and a little more expressive with her, her feelings, and it's tough for her. I can tell it's uncomfortable for her to do it, and it has to do with her own childhood, you know, we all carry baggage from the, from our past. Her mother died when she was a child, when she was like three years old, and so she had to go live with, you know, other family members for a while, so she was always in a very difficult situation, and I think that probably played a role. Nevertheless, I do think that her, um, prioritizing it now is making a big difference in not only my life but the life, lives of my kids. I can see how much more my kids are drawn to her and how much more they appreciate her, and I think that by, uh, by doing that, you make a much bigger impact than what you realize. So definitely, uh, express, express your emotions to the people that you care about. Very important.
All right, we're down to number two on the list. People regret working too hard. Yes, working too hard. So prioritizing their job as something in their life, and a lot of people do that for any number of reasons. I mean, nobody wants to work hard, but, um, not making room for other things in your life, I think, is what they're really meaning with that. So dedicating your life to making a living is certainly an honorable thing to do, but you got to keep it in balance. You can't allow your desire to be, um, I don't know, CEO or whatever, to, um, push all those other priorities out of the way because in the end, and in the final analysis, um, nobody ever thinks that, hey, I wish I'd spent more time at work or I wish I'd made a few more bucks or I wish I had done this or that. No, they're going to say, I wish I spent more time with my family; I wish I had spent more time doing things that I love; I wish I had taken more risks; I wish I had, um, expressed more gratitude. So just keep that in mind. I mean, you got to keep it in balance. I mean, everybody needs to make a living; you got to have enough money to pay your bills, etc, and you got to have enough to have a good quality of life, but at the same time, um, no one at that company is going to appreciate you after you're gone. So keep that in mind.
The number one regret of people on their deathbed in hospice, staring death in the face, was not being true to themselves and living according to the expectations of others. I think that is got to be the best one, without question. I think that one single regret, that one single concept of being true to oneself and, um, not conforming to the expectations of others, is probably one that we've all had at some point. And if you're still living and breathing as you're watching this and you still have a few days left at least, um, well, you got a chance to start living your own life, living life according to your own rules, deciding for yourself what your life should look like, because there's nothing less satisfying than living a life that wasn't yours, that was not uniquely you, that it was because someone told you this was the right way to do it or this is how you should be. Oh my God, that word "should" should be banned from the English language because it has been used to cause more pain and anguish than any other word I can think of. So yeah, live your life according to your own values, your own desires, your own, um, your own path. Follow your own path. All right, you guys, I hope you've enjoyed the video. Um, please like and subscribe. Stay healthy, and if you can, stay single.