Transcription
[Music]
Welcome to Let Love, a podcast with the Sisters of Life. We invite you to join us for conversation looking at life through the lens of love. You are loved. You are made in God's image, and your life matters. Let's talk about it.
Hello, this is Sister Sophia. This is Sister Veritas, and we're back with Let Love Podcast with the Sisters of Life. It's good to be back with you. Sister, it is. And, um, today we're going to talk about how to let love pull you out of exile. Wow, I got some drama to it. I'm very excited. It sounds a little dramatic. Why not? You know? Yeah, it's true. Actually, spiritual life holds the most epic of dramas. It does. It does. And we see it reflected all the time. I mean, you know, being pulled out of exile in our normal lives. Actually, I've experienced it personally. No, it's true. I remember how did I let love pull me out of exile? Yeah. Well, you know, a sister and I were returning to a convent, realized neither of us somehow had forgotten our keys. And so here we are. The task is to get inside. And there was an urgent need to get inside because, you know, there's things to do and things to prepare, you know, for the next wave of people. It was very dramatic. High stress, or it would have been. I would say it would have been had I not had my good sister with me. So I won't describe everything to you, but it was basically, yes, how to find an open window. And whether that's on the first floor or the second floor, they're both options at this point. So by God's grace, yes, we were finally able, after many different moves and supporting each other in acrobatics, we were able to throw one of ourselves through a window into the convent and successfully were pulled out of our exile from our homeland. It's fabulous. It's fabulous. But what it points to, really, today we're going to talk about friendship. Um, that in a sense, our native land as Christians is communion. Yeah. And, um, friendship is one of those beautiful gifts that God's given us, uh, that we don't have to live in isolation. We don't have to live exiled from our own hearts, you know, from the communion God has, um, inscribed within and desires for us. Amen. And it's, and to be honest, it's like, no one would choose to live without friends, right? It's the thing that we want the most. Even if we had all the world's goods and no friends, we'd rather trade it all for true friends. You know, it's absolutely true. Yeah. It's like, I would say, if I look back at my life, friendship, the gift of friendship, is probably one of the most treasured gifts that I've had at any given moment in my life. Yeah. It's irreplaceable. Irreplaceable. Yeah. Well, Sister, you want to start us off with a prayer? I would love to. And we can dive in.
In the name of the Father, and of the Son, and of the Holy Spirit. Amen. Come, Holy Spirit. Come, Lord Jesus. Lord Jesus, we thank you so much for your love, your mercy, and your goodness. We thank you for calling us to communion with yourself and with each other. Thank you for the gift of friendship. Lord, we know that you said to us, "I have called you friends." We ask you, Jesus, just to immerse us in the mystery, the powerful mystery of your friendship and love. We entrust ourselves and all those whom we love to all the difficulties in our lives, uh, to your most sacred heart. And we ask our Blessed Mother to intercede for us as we pray. Hail Mary, full of grace, the Lord is with thee. Blessed art thou among women, and blessed is the fruit of thy womb, Jesus. Holy Mary, Mother of God, pray for us sinners, now and at the hour of our death. Amen. Mary, Mother of the Church, pray for us. Father, Son, Holy Spirit. Amen. Amen.
So, let love pull you out of exile. I love it. Drama. Begin talking about friendship. Well, I think, I mean, I think first, Sister, as you were speaking before praying, I mean, just to even go a little bit more into this whole experience of isolation versus communion, because I think right now in our world, and especially everything we've kind of been through lately, but it's isolation's a big deal. And it's, I think, a huge reality for, for a lot of the world, um, not just physical isolation, but actually isolation inside our hearts and kind of that hitting up against our desire for, for love, for communion, for being with, you know, for friendship, basically. Um, yeah, I don't know if you have thoughts on that. Well, no, even, I think, I don't know if a couple of years ago, the UN even noted just this epidemic of loneliness that many countries throughout the world are suffering. And, uh, yeah, and I think if you ask anyone, if I ask myself, I don't want to live anything alone. I don't want to live isolated in my problems, in my fears, in my anxieties. I desire a presence there with me. And this isn't weird. This is actually the way we've been made. You know, even if you look at Genesis, um, what does God say when he looks at, um, Adam or man? It is not good for man to be alone. He, God said that. God said. And when God says, we have to pay attention, right? And to know this about ourselves, that God doesn't want us to live our stuff alone. He wants us to live it in communion. And we might feel very kind of like, I don't know, defeated by that because it's like, listen, I don't, I can't find friendship if I tried. I, it's hard to find meaningful relationships, people that are authentically for me. And yet, and that can be true too. And I think we'll lean into that question a little bit. But I think fundamentally, um, knowing that we have a God of communion and, um, in a sense, he is going to be about being with us as well. So it's this friendship with God that we're also called to. So we can talk about the horizontal, we can talk about the vertical, um, and how to, how to engage that, how to let love pull us into that. God is love, and that's what he wants for us. And so how do we start tapping into this thing? I love that, Sister, because it's like you're saying, it's our origin and it's our destiny. You know, it starts at Genesis with him, with each other in the garden, and then actually that's what the communion of saints is, the communion in heaven with him. Amen. Well, and that's, it's also a command because what did Jesus say? "Love one another." Yes. "As I have loved you." In a sense, he has commanded us towards friendship. And I think actually, it's worth kind of breaking open friendship. But I think, um, from the Christian perspective, what does friendship mean from the Christian perspective? I don't know if you have thoughts. I do. It's amazing that you ask. Um, the Christian actually understanding of friendship actually has roots in like Aristotle, which is really awesome. Um, but there's a great book and actually, I'll recommend it now, just a little book plug. There's a great book called, um, True Friendship by, uh, Dr. Cudaback. And he talks a lot about friendship. But, um, kind of one of the basics of even just the sheer definition of friendship is, you know, wishing the other person well, um, and reciprocating that goodwill, you know, and then both recognizing it. So I wish you well, you wish me well, and we both get it that we're wishing each other well. It's a very basic definition of friendship. Um, so it's like mutual goodwill, mutually recognized, desiring the good for the other, really. Yeah, desiring the good for the other. And, uh, there's kind of different, I mean, we can go into this too. There's, there's three basic types of friendship that kind of in the Christian tradition. Um, so the first, pleasant friendship. So this is like two people who like to like just be in each other's company. You know, it's basically about having a good time. It's very sense-based, right? Um, you see this all the time in the secular world, like kind of the party culture. Then there's useful friendship, right? So this is, um, each person kind of receives some benefit from the presence or actions of the other person. So it's kind of like the basis of the relationship, you know, you scratch my back, I'll scratch your back. Amen. And so you see this a lot in like the work world, you know, or students like, I'll help you do my homework if you're helping me with your social life, as an example, right? Or like, my brother got married in kindergarten, and she wanted his fruit roll-up. And no, sorry, he wanted her fruit roll-up, and she wanted to marry him. So they exchanged vows in the coat room closet. Wow. It was a useful friendship. No, he's a man of ready forever commitment. We, uh, yeah, I've yet to meet my sister-in-law from kindergarten. Oh, my glory. But yeah, example of useful friendship. And, and, um, and I just want to say, like, those, even the description of them, is like, they're not bad, right? Like, it's like, we all have that. We know the experience of having a workmate we're friends with or whatever, and it's not bad necessarily. Um, but it's just not the fullness, right? And even just, just another, I know, but even one more example. So there's a true story. A man placed an ad in a local Catholic weekly newspaper. The ad read, "Middle-ranking servant, single Catholic, 43, immaculate past from the country, is looking for a good Catholic, pure girl who can cook well, tackle all household chores with a talent for sewing and homemaking, with a view to marriage as soon as possible. You're kidding. Fortune desirable, but not a precondition." And Maria Pentner, I can't say her last name, 36, an illegitimate baker's daughter and a trained cook, replied. She did not have a fortune, but they married four months later. And Joseph and Maria became Pope Benedict's parents. Pope Benedict the 16th. Unbelievable. So even how God can take what would be perhaps classified as a useful friendship, yes, and transform it into our final point, virtuous friendship, or, um, true friendship. And I think this is the one we really want to break apart. Yeah. Um, but it's basically, you know, the person is loved for who they are in themselves, um, and it's this relationship, relationship of mutual goodwill, but it's like looking for the true good of the other, um, and really based on on virtue. But yeah, I'm sure I'd love to know what your thoughts are in that. Well, and I think, gosh, even as I sit back, [Music] I think college, I was blessed by real gifts of friendship. And and previous to that as well, but in a sense, people who were for my good, who were pushing me towards the greatest good, which was God, who saw me, who came, who took time to know me. And in a sense, I can look back at those friendships and I do. I think friendship is a gift from God, hands down. And those friendships changed my life. That in and through those relationships, I became more of who I was. And it was so cool to discover myself in their eyes, right? And, uh, through their gaze of reverence, their gift of encouragement to my own life, the ways that they challenged me. And it's fascinating to look back, Sister, because of my, my closest, my two closest friends in college, one is now a sister, and the other is now a priest. That's awesome. Well, and it is fantastic because actually, I don't think any of us knew that was in our future. But God knew and used us to, in a sense, sharpen each other towards the vocation, the great call to love that we were born for. So I think what it reveals is the potential of virtuous friendship, uh, in a sense that you're looking, um, in a sense, you are looking towards the greatest good. You are for the good of the other. And in and through that, actually goodness overflows. Um, that virtuous friendship blesses everyone around them. Um, and that's a powerful gift too. Yeah. The way that, uh, people can bless others through a virtuous friendship. You know, even I know the basketball teams I played on, the cross-country teams I ran on, we had the great blessing of being friends off the court, off the field, and we won incredible victories. But it was actually because of our friendship that we were pulling for each other, that we were cheering each other on, we were bringing out the best in each other. I think another level or layer of this, I have a twin sister. And I think if you look at friendship, it's the foundation of any relationship, any healthy love. You see friendship at the basis, whether that's a married couple or whether, yeah, I'm talking about my twin sister, um, you know, in high school, the ways that middle school, we kind of had our our fits and starts, but to see how a real friendship formed and a foundation of that was laid in our high school years, and how we brought the best out in each other. Um, so it's just, it's an incredible catalyst towards becoming and helping another become towards growing and growing towards the Lord. It's, it's an incredible gift, the gift of friendship, among also finding communion, you know, a sharing of life, um, sharing common ground, um, it's powerful. Sister, I love that. And I was actually very moved by a number of things you said, but one was that, um, kind of your experience, even like on the court, off the court, but that, um, friendship affected your understanding of of yourself. And it seemed like that, uh, your friends could almost see you sometimes more truly than you could. And if you know them, holding up this reflection to you of your goodness allowed you to believe it even more. Absolutely. You know, I mean, that's powerful. It's so powerful. It's food for mind, heart, and soul. It, it feeds you. Yeah. And also, I mean, not just that, but actually the fact of not seeing, not just seeing you, um, as you are and the goodness you are, but actually seeing the greatness you're made for. And it's like cheering each other on to that because it's like, um, even as you're, you're speaking about, you know, your sister, your team, it's like, not settling for less, actually. But like, what is the great good that we're all striving for together? You know? And, you know, basketball, it's the championship, high school, you know, whatever. But it's like, as Christians, what is it? It's heaven. Heaven. And it's like, if we can, um, as you did, keep our eyes fixed on heaven and like, kind of rally each other on, you know, with each other, um, to and to live in a way that's kind of preparing our hearts for heaven. So that's where virtue comes in, right? Which is a habit for the good. But I mean, I just, I was very moved by, by, uh, you're sharing that. Well, you say it beautifully, Sister. And I think ultimately, yes, um, as we live virtuous friendship and pushing each other towards heaven, um, drawing out the, the good, um, delighting in each other, um, you know, a friend is someone who you are at ease with, who you can rest in the presence of, who you can, um, look at life together, you know, leisure together. It's, it's not only is it a blessing to have communion, but it's just like, it's one of, like, the greatest natural goods, um, I think that there is in life. And ultimately, yeah, reflects, I mean, let's look at the image and likeness from which we've been made, is the Trinity. What good friends we see, ultimately, this reciprocity between the Father and the Son and the Holy Spirit, this dynamic of love, this great exchange of life, which overflows into the life of the Holy Spirit. But actually, friendship holds that same potential. As we enter into that, and actually, we are living true to ourselves in friendship, um, and I think too, it's like, you know, it's like, great, let's talk about all the blessings of it. Um, it can be a great pain and sorrow when we don't, right, have others to share our life with, or others that we feel can really enter into the common ground of my heart and soul and the common goods that, that I'm seeking and running after. And in that, I would say to, to pray for the gift of friendship. Yeah. Um, and should you be in a desert in that, it's like, to pray for it. And, um, in that time, because I think there are seasons that the Lord may allow for a deeper solitude with him, and that ultimately kind of brings us into another arena, that this beautiful friendship that we've been created for with Christ. In a sense, he said, "I no longer call you servants, but friends." And this is what he spoke to his disciples as he was calling them to follow him. He was calling them actually to friendship, right? It wasn't to slavery. It wasn't to, um, to work for him like to be a boss. It wasn't so that he could, you know, dominate them. No, "I've called you. I want to share life with you." Right? I think that's key, Sister, that to be with, right? The Lord wants to be with us, right? And I think that's the one of the fundamental basis of friendship, like, I want to be with you. You know? And, and there's a great story, one of our sisters shared, um, when she was little, uh, she went on a field trip with some friends. There's some kind of, I don't know, forest field trip or something. There's a stream, and she, she fell into the stream. She got all wet. And she, I know, it's like, oh, and she's just, I know, it's, you know, it's like rough, just rough day. And she was so embarrassed, you know? And, uh, but then her friend saw that she had fallen into the stream and that she was embarrassed. And so she threw herself into the stream as well, so that she wouldn't be embarrassed. They could both sit on the bus dripping wet, you know? And it's like, I just love that image because it, I think it illustrates friendship beautifully. Um, it also illustrates God's friendship with us. And what does he do? He comes and becomes, he takes on human flesh, right? He throws himself into the stream. He's with us. And powerful. It's powerful. And he lives it. And it's, it's what his heart, I'm talking about his sacred heart, desires most. Like, I, you know, he wants to be her friend. Um, and actually, to be honest, to be friends with God, that's a shocking thing to say for most world religions. Yeah. I mean, I remember talking to some, some gentlemen who practiced a different religion, and they were, it was almost like, how could you say such a thing of being friends with God? And it really actually, except for the incarnation, it would be almost scandalous, even blasphemous, to even say, actually. But Jesus, Jesus, he wanted it. He's the one who made it happen. Well, and look at the way that he, right, incarnation. But look how he related to his disciples. He ate with them. He walked with them. He taught them. He told them stories. You know, in a sense, it was a communion. It was a friendship. It was a fraternity. It was, it was bonds between brothers. He has made it so. It's true. And in a sense, as we're called into Christian discipleship, um, we are invited into this same communion. It's, it's as you speak of, Sister, it's absolutely powerful. And actually, to see the, the bottom line of that is sacrifice. That at the end game, Jesus laid his life down. He absolutely laid down his life. Um, he gave to us his heart, his soul, um, you know, in a sense, in and through the gift of the Eucharist, that he is so with us. He is so given to us. And to think of your own friendships, to think of, uh, how, how vital friendship is, this sacrificial love, this quality of love in a marriage, you know, that, you know, we're willing to die to each other and, you know, get over myself in this moment and ask you to do the same in the next, right? Or even the beauty of being called to community in religious life, that yes, every day, in a sense, it's opening my mind and heart and soul to the invitation of the Holy Spirit, this Holy Spirit of love, that I might love my sister well. Then I'm ready to, to jump into the stream. Uh, then I'm ready to sacrifice, uh, for her as she needs a listening ear, or, you know, someone to back her up when, you know, the phone rings and the meatloaf is burning, and then every, whatever is happening at the same time, uh, but it's a readiness to live for the other, to, in a sense, lay down your life for the person next to you, um, in love, right? Which is exactly what Jesus says, you know, "Greater love hath no man than to lay down his life for his friends." Right? And that's, that's like the greater love. I mean, you can't get bigger than that, actually. Um, it's Well, and here it is. It's like, Sister, how powerful that even should there be a solitude or a season of life that, um, you might struggle to find friendships on the horizontal plane, um, you have this gift always in Christ. And in a sense, to lean into that, um, to, to humbly receive the gift that he's extended of himself to you, yeah, in that. Yeah. It's a, Sister, it's so powerful. And I think he mentioned for, I mean, I love how you mentioned, you know, on the horizontal level, you know, to pray for friendships, even, I mean, even, Lord, like, please send me a true friend. It's a powerful prayer, actually. He answers it. And he answers it. Yes. And it's like, but also, I mean, taking that too, but then, Lord, show me how you wish to be my friend, capital F, you know? Like, like, how can I be a friend of your heart, Jesus? Because friends, there's a, a real aspect of how virtuous friendship, or true friendship, there's a, there is a sharing of hearts, there's a sharing of life, there's a being with, you know? And, and, you know, please God, he'll give us that in terms of on a horizontal level, like you're saying, but also with him in prayer, right? This sharing of hearts. Um, and actually, it, in both ways, our friendship with God helps us actually to live our friendships with others. But our friendships with others also can help prepare us and prepare our hearts to the friendship with God. So it's this amazing kind of double school of love. Exactly. A school of love. Well, and to see too, that when we live this gift with others, with God and with others, um, saints are born, actually. Saints grow in packs. We can see that. Look at the disciples. It's true. You know, the apostles, they all helped each other along. I mean, and they were a motley crew. They basically all abandoned Jesus in his hour of need, right? But they rallied and stuck together, um, received that life of the Holy Spirit, yeah, and, and they were all down to a one either martyred for Christ, except for John, who, who was able, you know, his, his favorite beloved there, certainly martyred, probably in other ways, just through his steadfast friendship to Christ, actually. Or even to look at the history of the saints, you get Felicity and Perpetua, you've got Mother Teresa and John Paul II, you've got Augustine and Ambrose. You have to then you have all these and companions. I love the uncompromising. I want to be one. I'll be your aunt. God, let's see. Sister, yeah, we can only as God calls. But, um, we're North American Martyrs, right? Right. Or the, uh, Chinese Martyrs. Chinese Martyrs. Um, there's a lot of martyrs. We need each other. Yeah. I mean, the, uh, French Sisters, uh, who were martyred together. I mean, there's a lot. There is a lot. Well, and it is the reality that Christian, from the beginning, uh, Christians have found their way together. Community that was marked, that's, that was one of the, the great earmarks of a Christian, is the way they lived in communion together. The community life, they were laying their lives down, they were generous, they were, they were giving more than they had, and in faith and in goodwill. And that is possible when we're living, receiving the life of the Holy Spirit, when we're living in communion with God. Yeah. It absolutely transforms our life. And actually, we're much happier. We're happier. We're freer. We're not self-oriented. We're actually focused on the person next to us. And that is actually a great relief. Do you ever notice the troubles that come when you stare at your troubles? Yes. I have. I thought you mentioned it, in a sense, uh, to pull away from ourselves. And as we, as we orient ourselves outwards in love, we actually set ourselves free. Sister, it's so true. I mean, even the gospel about the seed, that seed must die in order to bear fruit, right? It's the whole like, if you want to save your life, you lose it. If you lose your life, you're going to save it, right? Happiness really lies in letting go of self-preservation, actually, and turning our face to the other and finding our delight in the other. And it's the self, self-forgetful love, right? And we can do that when we know we have someone loving us, yeah, which when we're looking to the Lord, right, receiving his love, um, anchoring ourselves there, right, and looking up in faith, right, we can live that way. Yeah, because the reality is, we're loved without limits. We're loved infinitely, basically. And as we receive that infinite love of God, we are able to then love without limits ourselves. So it's, we really are drawn into this, I know it sounds all lofty and crazy, but it's actually right in our midst. Uh, we're drawn into this Trinitarian reality of love, that we'll start splashing people with love. We won't be able to help it. Sister, before we go, do you have a challenge? I do have a thought. Um, what I would encourage everyone to do today is to say a little prayer and say, "Heaven, hey everyone up there in heaven, um, who wants to be my friend?" Uh, and then keep a lookout. In a sense, and you could do it the other way around, too. You could also say, you know what, I've always been drawn to this saint or that saint, or, you know, I've been holding the saint at arm's length. I actually, I think they want to be friends with me. And lean into that. But it's actually kind of fun to see who picks you, because saints do pick us because they know we need them. And their friendship is, it can be, it is so real and tangible. And as we welcome it and look for it and, uh, pray for the grace to notice it, we can find great strength and grace and light and joy along the pilgrim way here. So I would just encourage that, you know, send a text, an interior text to heaven, say, "Hey, I need a friend. Who wants to, who wants to, to step in here?" And, uh, wait, and you'll be delightfully, you'll be delightfully surprised. I love that, Sister. And that resonates. Like, just testifying my own saint friends, Saint Theophane and Saint Therese, just a little shout out to you. [Laughter] They're amazing. I love that challenge, Sister. Um, let me think. Before we go, I think actually, um, to pray about the friendships you have in your life. One, or if, or maybe you're in a place in your life where you don't really feel like you have friendships or deep friendships, to ask Jesus for that grace. But if you do, or you, you know, just to pray about them and say, "Lord, how do you wish to grow or flourish this friendship? How can I let my heart be moved by your love? And how can I love my friend in a way that you desire?" Amen. You know, and I think, kind of as we talk about the beginning, but this, this movement of the heart to not, uh, close in, to not be isolated, to not navel-gaze, you know, um, but to allow ourselves to be opened and moved, actually, as we said at the beginning, it pulls us out of exile, which is, which is the enemy of the human heart, right? And it pulls us out into that communion, which we're all made for. So it's our native land. Amen. It's our homeland. Amen. Well, thank you, Sister. Thank you, Sister. Joy to be with you. Should I close this with a prayer? That would be awesome. Thank you.
In the name of the Father, and of the Son, and of the Holy Spirit. Amen. Father, we just ask that you draw us to rest in that special place in your heart that you have set aside for us, that we know communion with you, that we know your delight in us. We know that you, you don't just love us, but you like us, that you have created us, uh, so particularly and in a way that delights your heart so thoroughly. We ask just that you would fill us with an awareness of your delight, of your love, and draw us into relationships with others that echo this delight, that echo this communion, that are at the service of your love and the, the heavenly glory that you have made us for. And we just thank you ahead of time for your blessings today, as we say, Glory be to the Father, and to the Son, and to the Holy Spirit, as it was in the beginning, is now, and ever shall be, world without end. Amen. God bless all of you. Praying for you. This was Let Love Podcast for the Sisters of Life, a religious community of women consecrated for the protection of the sacredness of human life. Be assured of our prayers and learn more at sistersoflife.org.