Transcription
You know, I credit my dad so much for teaching me about women at a very young age. And to be honest, the stuff that he was teaching me when I was young, I thought he was a villain. I didn't believe anything that he was saying because it sounded so outlandish at that time because I was imprinted by my own mom, right? I thought my mom was the angel. My dad was the devil. My dad's just telling me this stuff. My mom knows best because she's a woman. So obviously she's going to teach me about she's going to tell me a lot about what women truly want.
But it was opposite, right? My mom was telling me what women ideally want, but they don't necessarily accept in reality. I started to learn that as I got older, as I was implementing what my mom was saying, and I was not getting the results that I wanted. And I'd go to her and be like, "Mom, you told me to do this and this happened." And she was like, "Oh, she might just be a bad one." My dad would just laugh on the side and look at me and say, "Bartell, you got a lot to learn, man. You you still not listening to what I told you before?"
And it's crazy. And I I give the utmost respect to my dad because my dad and my mom have been together for over 25 years, probably 30 years at this point. And for a man to be able to command that level of loyalty to a woman, despite losing his losing his mental capacity at a certain point through a brain aneurysm and watching my mom pick up the slack and work for everybody while he couldn't, he literally forgot who he was for a certain period of time. Seeing my dad like go through the process and and and like show me how it really was to be a man in this world gave me so much clarity in life as I got older as I started to remember everything that he told me when I stopped rejecting what he said thinking that he was a villain and I started to embrace everything that he said and I'll tell you some of those things that he told me as well but my dad again I he has a lot of proof because he before my mom he had he had harms of women all the time in in the Haitian village man this dude was he was a like he he was out. He was doing his thing. Everyone talked about my dad. Everyone talked about my dad was that guy. And my mom was also that woman. Like my mom literally had the pick of the century. Like doctors, lawyers, everybody was going for my mom. She stayed with my dad.
And I started to realize that like this whole masculinity stuff, like the reason why a lot of men are lost right now is because they they're they're they're born with single mothers. They don't have a father figure. And I was fortunate enough to have that. So, I could learn a lot of these things, especially about women. I remember one of the things he said that stuck with me. He's like, "Martel, like always look at what a woman does. Don't ever don't ever believe what she says. Women will lie to make themselves feel better." And I remember demonizing. I'm like, "Oh, so you're calling you're calling mom a liar." And I was like, "Why would you call mom a liar?" He's like, "Listen, the reality is your mom is not lying. She's just doing what she thinks is right. She's saying what she thinks is right. But I know judging by her actions how she actually is. I know how to handle her based on what I've seen over the decades that we've been together. I've seen that. And every time I would have a woman around, he would be like, "Martel, watch what she does, not what she says." And time and time after again, that truth would ring for me. I would always watch what they do. And everything they said could be the complete opposite of what they're doing. And that would allow for me to step a couple steps ahead. Stay a couple steps ahead.
Now, with my dad, it's interesting because he always and and a lot of the the Haitian dads or just even, you know, like male figures in your family in general, especially when it comes to the foreign side, they always think about like have multiple women. Always have like five or six women around. And I remember my dad telling me, he was like, "Martel, do that at a young age. Get that [ __ ] out of your system, but find one. Don't think that she's going to stay around forever because you always have to get better over time. You always have to keep improving. You always have to keep striving for more. You cannot stay stagnant, but keep that one. Don't [ __ ] around when you get older because all of that and and he's very he's a very religious guy. He was a pastor, right? And so he was like, "Look, Martell, I've been with your mom for the last 30 years. I've never cheated. I've never and me and my dad got super tight. So like he he would tell me things like he told me I used to smoke weed. I used to do this. I used to do that. I I his experiences with different women and stuff and he was like look when I got with your mom I never cheated because that's that's something that I have to deal with God and I already made an agreement that I would never do that. It's not like we made we didn't make an agreement. We made an agreement. As a man you follow your word. It doesn't matter how other women look. He was like, "All women, they all have their own issues. They all have their own their own problems. Never take a woman as perfection because no woman is perfect. All women are walking headaches. You just got to pick the one that gives you the least amount of headaches that you can understand, that can support you, that can help you on your journey. That's what you want. If you don't have that, if there's no congruency in that, you're always going to lose."
He was like, "You always have to have a good relationship with God because if you put God first and and I I didn't listen to this for a while, right? For a while, I didn't put God first because I I didn't like the religious dogma and everything, but there's truth in that. You put God first, you serve God, right? Women will follow cuz you're the leader." Because as a man, and my dad told me this and it was so powerful. He was like, "Look, in a relationship as a man, you never look to women for advice most of the time for for your life. And nobody else is going to tell you anything. Nobody cares about you as a man. Nobody cares. Women don't care. They can care about you as their person. But your internal struggles, all the things that you go through, the only person that's ever going to give you divine guidance is God. That's the only person you can go to in this life is God. That's it. That's the o only person that can give you some divine order and tell you and give you some insights on what you need to be doing if you have a good relationship with God, which will make your relationship way more smooth if you can put God first. If you don't put God first, you will always fail. The woman will always leave you because you don't have a sense of leadership, because you don't have something. You don't have a divine order that you can channel to be able to help you. He's like, you're always a vessel. You're always giving. You're giving to the woman. You're giving to life. You're you're working. You're doing all these things. You're giving your energy. He said, "As a man, you have to be able to refill that energy. You can't refill that energy from somebody else." He said, "Women refill their energy from you. They always refill their energy from you. But you have to refill your energy from God because that's the only source that can give you energy."
And he always told me, he was like, "I never trust atheist. I'll never be never ever be with a woman who doesn't believe in God because the minute that you do that, she has no moral compass. She will go do whatever it is that she wants to do because there's no there's no reckoning in her mind. There's no consequence. And I learned that because I did date women who didn't believe in God. And it was true. They had no moral compass. Everything they did was justified. It's crazy. And he would tell me all these things. He would, man, he would go into like sexual things like what do you do? You you have to be dominant. And I would be like, "Dad, that's you sound like a villain. Why would I want to be dominant and and and say like, oh, like you're she's my like you're mine. Like claim her. Do all of these things. Women want to be claimed. Like do that." And and again, my dad was not aggressive. He never hit my mom. I've never seen my dad lay a hand on my mom ever. No matter how mad she made him, he just laughed that [ __ ] He would get mad and then he'd just start laughing. He'd be like, "What the fuck?" He'd be like, "Why do I even care? Why?" He'd look at me. He's like, "Bartell, do you see this?" And my mom would get mad. And I would notice these different things. And he just taught me like how to deal with it. And I never ever believed anything that he said until I got older, until I started to see all of these truths that he was saying was correct. Until when I started being with five or six women at a time, my whole life would be chaotic. I'd feel like my energy was drained. And then when I would stick with one, if I stuck with a bad one, it would completely ruin my life. If I got with a pretty good one, a pretty solid one, I don't want to say good, but solid. My life would go up. And I would always talk to my dad and he'd start chuckling. He'd be like, "Remember what I told you back when you were 12 and you didn't believe me? How is all of that panning out?" And I'm like, "Dad, you were 100% right."
Like I used to be the guy like oh the lover right like you bring flowers on the first date. My mom told me. My mom was like oh Martel go bring flowers on the first date. It's like the most romantic thing you could do. My dad would sit back start laughing and say which means good god. Like and then he would literally say like why would you ever bring something on the first she hasn't proven herself to you. Why would you bring anything on the first date? And I remember as I started learning these different things, my whole relationships got different. Like my whole viewpoints on women got different sexually. It became way easy. It became easy for me to like dominate in that field and like have the woman like feel attached because of like all of the principles he taught me. All of the and there's deeper things he taught me in terms of specific eye contact you do and all. Like my dad was a OG when it came to this stuff. And he would break down some of the most visceral taboo topics to me. And at the time I thought he was literally the devil incarnated. Even though he was a pastor. I'm like, Arthur, you you're crazy. And as I started to slowly implement things, it worked. My dad always instilled in me, Martell, you want to get you want to get women attracted to you, get in shape. My dad used to look like my dad used to bodybuild. My dad had vascular. He's 5'9. I'm I'm 6'2. I got a pretty good I I got the the tall jean for my mom. My mom's 5'7 now. My dad always looked like a superhero. Like I literally loved seeing my dad come back from the gym. Crazy pump. He pour he put some French cologne on. He pick my mom up. He he would just act crazy and like he he just didn't care. He just lived his life. He would say things that would piss my mom off, but I would see my mom look at him a certain way like, "I love you even more because at least you're honest." He would say that. He would say, "Oh, you got to walk more." If my mom started like looking a little different, he'd be like, "You got to start walking more, not looking the way that I remembered." Like, he would be very, very viscerally honest. And he just didn't give a [ __ ] Didn't care. Just lived his life. Lived life as best as he could. and he had a very loyal woman by his side. And a lot of people will sit here and say that [ __ ] doesn't exist. And I say it might actually exist if you become the man that's worth being loyal to. And you may say, "Well, women, no woman is loyal forever." Of course not. You have to keep getting better over time.
And one thing my dad told me as well, he said, "Martel, never think love is forever. Love is fleeting. Love is not real. Love is an emotion that goes away over time." And I I didn't believe this when I was young. I'd always say, "Dad, love is real. you see Disney cuz I used to watch [ __ ] Disney and Nickelodeon and [ __ ] and it would have all these love stories and all that [ __ ] and I would believe it. My dad literally was like, "Martel," cuz he'd watch it with me. He'd sit there and he'd just laugh. He'd say, "Martel, this is not real." Love is is is just an emotion. Loyalty is a decision that you make every single day. You make that decision. The woman makes that decision every single day. And your job as a man is to make it undeniable for a woman to have her loyalty for just you. Every single day you have to prove that [ __ ]
And I remember even looking when he had his his brain aneurysm. My dad literally could not work. He couldn't do anything. And you would think, well, a man who stops making money, a man who loses all of his physique, all of his shape. Well, now the woman's gone. My mom stayed and took care of him even more. My mom went and worked three jobs while my dad was literally sitting on the bed like his his head would be inflamed. Could barely remember his name. I'll never forget that [ __ ] And my dad literally told me. He was like, "The only thing that you need to worry about is whenever you're down, always bounce back." And he did that. Bounced back and got a business administration degree at ASU quick. Just like that. Just like that. I watched my dad move from from Haiti. He was a big professor in Haiti at a university. Lost his degree. Came here when I was four. I didn't have my dad till I was four years old, 5 years old. And I remember him coming and the whole presence of the house changed. Everything changed. My mom was just like, whoa. And my dad just was this walking force. Every everyone loved my dad. My dad was the most social person in the world. But he also held boundaries with people. He didn't care who you were. He didn't care if you were the president of the United States. You talk [ __ ] to him, he's going to do something. He's going to react. And he always said, "Martel, don't don't let people walk on you. Don't let women walk on you. Check them. Don't check them physically, but check them psychologically. Check them with your check them with how you see it. Check them with what you've observe absor observed."
And I would always take this in, man. Like, and that's why I think a lot of men, you see a lot of men who hit women. My dad, I always ask my dad, I'm like, I hear these things about guys, guys hitting their wives and stuff like that. Why do you think that is? And I remember him saying, because Martell, they're hyper emotional beings. They're hyper emotional when it comes to women. They love hard and they also when they have anger, they lean into that anger and they lose control and they attack the woman because they're hyper emotional. He said always and and I keep this to this day. I forgot that I got this from him, but I remember him telling me, he was like, "Martel, stay away from hyper emotional people. Hyper emotionality is for women, not for men. Women are hyper emotional. Men should never be hyper emotional. You should always have your emotions in check. You should never ever feel like you need to hit a woman. You should never feel like you need to inflict any sort of violence towards a woman whatsoever." And he lived by that completely. My dad didn't spank me a lot when I was young. He only did it cuz my mom would tell him to. He like, "Okay, take out the belt. I know I'm fucked." I'm like, "Man, I got to He said, "Go to the room." I go to the room, man. It's a wrap for me. My dad hit me. It was wrath. It's brutal. But he taught me a lot, man. He taught me a lot about this life. And I will say the reason why I had a lot of pitfalls with women, even with with humans, with with business, with everything, is because I didn't take those lessons seriously until I started to actually try them in micro details and started to see real results happen.
Now, my dad is hyperreligious. Me and him, we don't see eye to eye with with the way that he looks at religion, right? Of course, there's differences, but I do know my dad has significant respect for me because I lived my own life since 19. I took my own burdens. I took my I I paid my way through as much as I possibly could. I never asked my parents for a dollar. I always made things work. My dad was very very proud to see that. And it's funny because there would be times I would bring women home or like, you know, I would show my my my dad some women, he'd be like, "Nope, she's she's cooked. She's done. He's like, "You're going to see." I remember I'll never forget when when I I introduced I I told my dad about this woman and he he asked me some questions and he was like, "Martel, that's I'm giving you one year." And I I kid you not, bro. After one year broke completely down. I'm telling you fellas, if you didn't have a father at home, at least take some of the things that I'm telling you now, as basic as they may sound, they actually help. But I had a father at home that was teaching me that I was rejecting because I was feminized growing up cuz I I I was with my mom for 5 years. My dad didn't My dad was never there because my dad was getting stuck trying to come to the United States. He tried as fast as he could to come to the United States. He had to handle some things in Haiti with his papers, with everything. But once he showed up, it was a completely different energy. Oh, but that's the craziest thing that I've learned, man. That's the craziest thing that I've learned. I emergency alert. But if that's something that you you have in your life, if you have a father that genuinely teaches you things and he's a good role model, like my dad big, like I didn't understand my dad, why are you I said this. I was like, "Dad, why did you just stay with my mom the whole time if you had all these different options?" And he was like, "Because women are headaches. I only want one headache in my life. I'm good. I had to have you." So, I needed a headache. And I was like, "Oh, shit." Okay.
But it's crazy because when I started to live and grow, I started to realize that, right? And that's why even in my relationship, I I don't cheat. I don't I don't even have a desire to because every woman that I see is a walking headache. I tell my girls this all the time. It's like, "Do you ever look at other women?" I'm like, "Other women look like headaches to me. I don't care how good they look. I like you because you're the least headache I could possibly have. You literally make my life better in every which way, shape, or form. You may have your mood swings. You may have some emotional ups and downs. All women do. But it's a net positive at the end of the day." And I remember my dad telling me that. He was like, "Martel, as long as it's a net positive, as long as she believes in God, as long as she she she has a good family unit, as long as she has a strong connection to her father, to her mother, you're in good, you're on good terms." And my mom was the same. My mom was with my grandfather. My grandfather was literally behind my dad. Like, if anything, sometimes I put him pretty much at the same rate because he was literally like my role model. My mom very connected with my grandfather. Always talking to my grandfather. Always talking to my grandmother. Always. My grandfather passed away. Rest in peace to him. It's the worst day of my life. Well, I don't cry very much at all. I I cried for a whole week. Right. And my grandmother is the same thing. Like great relationship with my grandmother with her mom. Took care of my uncle's aunts was very caring. My dad told me, he was like, "That's what I looked at. I saw your mom taking care of her siblings and I realized that she's a good one." And he he said, "I went all in and I didn't care if things didn't work. Things didn't work. But I wanted to go all in because I knew it was going to be worth it whether it went well or whether it didn't go well." And he's like, "There were times where I questioned, why am I doing this? What's the point?" And I always remembered back to what God told me. This is what he said in his words. God told me life was never easy. Relationships are not going to be easy. Love is not real. Love is a feeling. You have to stay committed. It's a test of your commitment every single day. You are tested by other women. She might be tested by other men every single day. And what gets you closer and closer is rejecting those tests every single day. And I didn't understand this until I got older, until I started getting with women who would fail those tests. Until I started seeing that I was failing those tests because I genuinely didn't want those women.
And he told me this. He's like, "Martel, life life is only going to get harder, but you have to become harder. You have to be hard to kill in this life. You have to look life in the face and laugh at it. When a woman makes you upset, laugh. It's funny as [ __ ] He literally he's like, "It's funny as shit." You just laugh it off, man. That's greatest greatest lessons I've had, man. I could I can go all day. I can go an hour with everything he's taught me. But I'm already at the 20-minute mark, man. I hope this was valuable for you guys. But I hope you just realize like like your if you have a father, like listen to him because he knows a lot. Even if he he had a unsuccessful relationship, you can learn from what he did wrong at least, right? I was fortunate that my dad has a successful relationship, a successful marriage, which is why I'm monogamous myself. Like I don't I don't I'm good, you know? But hope this was valuable. Tap in with me. Links will be in the description if you want any of my courses, programs, whatever that looks like, it's available. Yes, I'm a course seller. Man, people always demonize course sellers. Let me tell you guys just a side note, man. Actually, I talked to my dad about this. I was like, "Dad, what do you think about like making money online?" He's like, "You'd be stupid not to. Why would you not want to make money online teaching people stuff that you know?" He was like, "If I knew technology, I'd be doing the same thing." I was like, "You right." But anyway, yeah, I' I'd sell, right? I'm not going to sit here and be a dork and say, "I have nothing to sell to you guys. I'm just here providing free value." It's like, yeah, I'll give you free value. And if you want to learn more and you want to purchase some products, I keep my products at a very, very affordable rate. And just to learn a little bit more and get some more insights, they're there. Right? So, I hope you guys found this valuable. I'm going to catch you on the next video.