Transcription
Well, well, well. It's that time again of KABOT. Kill a bit of time. Little high, little low. We're going to be talking today about whether you're actually mental. We're going to be looking at weird sounds and if you know where they come from. We're going to return to the age-old feature, cheeky little plunge. And we're also going to maybe take a look at the feature, who said that and where did it come from. And if we got time, we might be able to have a look at someone with a weird name and if they're as weird as their name are. So, let's get started with episode two.
Well, we've all been sweating our tits off in the UK this week. Uh, we've had temperatures reaching up to 30°. I work in a kitchen, so it's absolutely atrocious in there. Working in 40° above a grill. Uh, it's just sweating. But I've managed to claw my way out of there today and I'm now speaking into the void. Think of this as like a voice note, a long voice note to a friend, apart from the voice note is this podcast and the friend is the void. But anyway, my thought process this week is I was I really, really excited to launch the podcast and I just got myself, I think I just forgot the reason I chose to do it in the first place. I was stressing out about, oh, am I going to, what am I going to include? I can't think of anything to research about or anything like that. And I just forgot. I totally forgot that it's all about just having a bit of fun, enjoying myself, and using it as a way to sort of get into a flow state and just live in the moment and enjoy doing it. So, I just had to sort of remind myself of that a few times. So, I have thought about a few little things to talk about this week. I'm going to, I've done a bit of research and we're going to look at that shortly.
But, in the meantime, um, I want to talk a bit about the old self-improvement and how it's going. I've been off the booze now for a little while and I've experienced noticeable improvement in my mood generally. I feel more energetic. I feel more positive generally. And for a short period of time, I was like, "Ah, I found the [ __ ] answer to life. If I don't drink, I feel great all the time." And I thought I found a little loophole in life. But then I just had one day for no particular reason at all. I think I just had a bad night's sleep. I just had a [ __ ] [ __ ] day. I had a [ __ ] day and I was like, why do I feel [ __ ] today? Felt great yesterday. And there was no good reason for it. I was like, I'm not hung over. Nothing bad's happened. I've got no feasible reason to be pissed off right now, but I just am. And it got me thinking. I was like, I bet some people have a bad day and they just assume that they're mentally ill because I've had that before. People call me up at work, people that work for me, and they go, "Oh, I'm not well. I need to go and see a doctor." But they might have just been having a, had a bad day because the next day I was fine. And there's loads of weird stuff that can affect your mental health. Even like your gut flora, they say if you eat, if you don't eat good food, if you don't eat prebiotics, the stuff like, um, leafy greens, ruffage, all that sort of stuff that helps you have a great natural biome, they call it in your gut, that can affect your mental health as well. Or you might just be imbalanced for some reason. I don't know. You might have just had too much like of anything, like sugar for the few days leading up to it and then you've just, it's just causing imbalance in your, in your brain. It could be so many different things to affect it. You could just have like an underlying little bug, a little illness. You're not like ill to the point that you need to take time off work. You might just be slightly ill and you don't even realize you're ill, but you're just having a [ __ ] day and you, and you just don't think you're ill because you haven't got, you haven't got any symptoms other than the fact you just feel [ __ ]. So before you sign yourself off, be sign yourself off as being mental, you might just be having a [ __ ] day or even a [ __ ] week. I think we all need to give ourselves a little bit more leeway and not just assume the worst just 'cause we're having a bad day, 'cause most of the time it passes and it goes the other way as well.
Sometimes you just go, "I [ __ ], I feel brilliant for no good reason. I just feel [ __ ] good today. I feel good." Sometimes it bugs other people because sometimes it bugs me when other people are feeling good. Sometimes if people are feeling a bit too good at work, I have to, I intentionally piss them off to try and put them in a bad mood to cheer myself up because they just annoy me. Some people when they're bouncing around, bouncing off the walls, they got too much energy. You know what I mean? It sort of drags everyone else down a bit. So you have to sort of like piss them off to cheer yourself up. It's even worse when you're, if you're having a bad day and someone else is having a really good day and they, and they're like, "Come on, cheer up." You're like, "Fuck." That just makes you feel worse, doesn't it? It's better to be knocking around like-minded people. If I'm having a [ __ ] day, I'd rather be around someone else having a [ __ ] day because you can, you can sort of relate to each other. You go, "You all right?" "Yeah, you're all right." You go, "Oh, [ __ ] in it." They go, "Oh, [ __ ] no." But to be fair, most people are like that anyway in England. The first thing people do most of the time when they open their mouth is moan about something. Like to, like today, for example, the arcade manager walked in to the office, you all right? And she went, "Ah, [ __ ] h it." I was like, "Fucking hell. It didn't take you long to start moaning." She went, "I'm knackered." You know what I mean? I was like, "Fucking hell." So, it does work the other way as well. I was in a good mood then and she brought me down with her bad mood. It's weird, isn't it? We all have to be, we're all sort of imbalancing each other. We have to be around other people and that affects us as well. So you could be having a, you might be fine. You might just be knocking around with the wrong people as well. You might be having a [ __ ] day 'cause others around you. So there's a multitude of reasons why you could be having a [ __ ] [ __ ] day or a good day equally. So I suppose you just got to surround yourself with people that cheer you up. But then you don't have control of that 'cause you can't control who you work with. You know what I mean?
I mean, that's one of the reasons I went to work in the kitchen to start with because I used to work front of house as a restaurant manager, sort of. And just being around people pissed me off. Guests, customers, team. At least in the kitchen, I've just got my little team. That's the only people I've got to deal with and I can, I can choose who they are as well. So, that's one of the perks of going into the kitchen life. Obviously, the downside is sweating your nuts off at 45° [ __ ] heat above a grill, but you got to take the ups with the downs, ain't you? I want to avoid talking about the weather 'cause it is the dullest subject on earth. But I think in this occasion, it's a good time to bring it up because sometimes the weather can get you down. You go, it's [ __ ] miserable outside. It's all dreary. Yeah. But sometimes it actually works in your favor. Because if you're pissed off and you're having a bad day and it's [ __ ] outside, you can blame it on that. You can go, "Oh, I'm not feeling good today." And someone goes, "Why?" And you go, "It's [ __ ] [ __ ] outside, is it?" They go, "Yeah." Now, if it's a really nice day outside and the sun's shining, you're expected to be happy. And if you're pissed off, then someone goes, "Oh, what's wrong? It's lovely outside." And you've got nothing to blame it on. You have to come up with a better reason. So sometimes the weather can help you out. Also, occasions there's like your birthday or Christmas or holidays. You're expected to be damn well happy. You're meant to be happy to help everyone else be happier with it as well. Everyone sings happy birthday. You can't sit there with a frown on. You're going to eat your cake and smile like a good little boy and [ __ ] join in. And that pressure is annoying as well, which is more likely to put you in a bad mood. Same thing goes when you're on holiday. You can't be pissed off on holiday. That's why it's probably good to go on holiday somewhere where it's likely to rain so you can, you got that in the bag just in case. But I think that's one of the reasons why alcohol is so prevalent at special events like that, like birthdays, family reunions, that sort of thing, because it's a sure-fire way to get everyone merry, enjoying themselves, and it's like that social lubricant, innit? Everyone starts, everyone feels comfortable talking to anyone. I at once I got pissed, right? And I was talking to a woman who had severe dementia, someone's nan. And I was that pissed I didn't know she had dementia. They had to tell me the next day. They're like, "Oh, you had a good conversation with what's her name last night." I was like, "Yeah, yeah." "You do know she's got severe dementia." I was like, "Does she?" I had no clue. But because I was that pissed, I was having a good old chat. You know what I mean? So most of the time when you're talking to someone, you're more concerned about what you're saying than what you're than what they're saying. You're just sort of waiting for your turn to speak. Most of the time, there's not many times you'll be having a lengthy conversation where you're more invested in what the other person is saying than what you're saying.
Sometimes I get bored of listening to drunk people speak, so I try to change the topic of the conversation to lemon cake. No matter who they are or what, or how the conversation started, I try to guide it towards a conversation about lemon cake as a little experiment, even. And what I found works really well is if someone's getting aggressive. I was out in London with my sister. We're having a few beers and I think the conversation got a bit heated between myself and someone else and it was getting a little bit like he was standing up. He wanted to, it was almost at that pushing and shoving stage and I managed to steer the conversation into lemon cake. I just kept on like bringing up lemon cake all the time. And then he started being like, "Why are you talking about lemon cake?" And then, ah, I was like, "I've got you. You've said the words now." And now I'll be like, "Well, you said it, not me." And then anyway, I managed to steer, I managed to get him to say the words lemon cake at least five or six times. And by that point, it's just like, "Why are we talking about lemon cake, mate?" And he's like, "Yeah." And because we're all pissed, he sort of like don't know how he started on the lemon cake. You sort of pretend that it naturally popped up and it's a great diffuser if you're ever in a bit of an aggy situation with someone. You know what I mean? Try it out.
But anyway, how do we get on to that? Oh yeah, having a bad day. I think everyone's different and everyone is put at ease using different strategies. So for me, I have to have my house in order. No overwhelming house jobs hanging over me like shitloads of laundry or washing up or the kitchen's a mess or something. I like the whole place to be nice and tidy and that helps me feel at ease. I like work to be in a stable place. I like everyone to be happy, fit, and healthy. No problems. And then I can then relax. But then your brain will still sometimes kick up a little problem for you to worry about. The, the, it's always 5:00 in the morning where you're in prime time, should be having a lovely little sleep. I could be absolutely having a lovely little slumber and then all of a sudden I wake up and then my brain has concocted up something for me to worry about for three hours. And it could be the smallest little thing. It could be something I said like two weeks ago. It could have been something I did two years ago and it just, it wants to dwell on it. And I know what my brain's doing and I know that come the following morning I won't give two [ __ ] about it. But for some reason, whatever part of the brain is getting off on dwelling on negativity, it just likes to hit you at 5:00. For me anyway, it's just weird. It's like, why does your brain do that? I've got nothing to worry about. Also, sometimes you'll have a problem. You'll have a genuine problem, but sometimes I'll have to remind myself that all my previous problems I've had, I don't, I don't remember what any of them are. So, it's going to be no different for this problem that I've got right now. I'll solve it and then it'll be forgotten about just like all the other ones. So, there's no point letting it get you down. Also, you come up with loads of different scenarios in your head about what if this happens, what if that happens. And in all likelihood, none of those are going to happen and everything's going to be fine, just like it was last time and just like it was the time before that. But it's easier said than done, isn't it? I say this and I know this, but I'll still, my brain will still pop up with a problem and it'll make me feel [ __ ] about something at some point.
But apparently what it is is, and I don't know how true it is. I might look into it a bit deeper and bring it up in a future podcast, but apparently your brain, it always has to be thinking. It's on a constant cycle of thought, unless you're a Buddhist and you can manage to meditate yourself out of it and you can just empty your mind, which is easier said than done. Apparently, the energy it takes your mind to tick over, it takes a lot less energy for your mind to think negative thoughts than it does about positive thoughts. So, it's like your brain's trying to be more efficient in a way. And that is the reason why people, a lot of people become depressed when they're tired and run down because their brain is trying to conserve energy. So, it latches on to a more of a negative thought cycle. So that's why it's important to get loads of rest and you're more likely to feel really good mentally. If you're well-rested and have had a good sleep and stuff and you've been eating well because the more energy you've got, your brain is more likely to go on a positive cycle of thought. So I thought I'll look into that more in the future 'cause I think there's some truth behind that.
Also on the back of that, I think that's why people feel positive after being creative or getting into the flow state or doing something and being in the moment, being present. For me, I do that by writing music, playing instruments, and things like that and just being generally creative. That helps me give my mind a rest. 'Cause when I'm doing that, I'm not really thinking. I'm sort of in the moment as I'm doing it. And I think that's what helps. It's like gives your mind a rest. It's a little bit like when you go to bed at night, you're giving your body a rest. You know what I mean? And other people do it and people do it in lots of different ways. Some people do creative writing. Some people just do it by gardening. I can get that totally as well because when I've been getting into doing a bit of gardening recently and hours just go by and you go, "Well, bloody hell. How, what, what have I been doing? It's been two hours out here." And that's because you've just been in the moment doing stuff, digging around, planting plants, and you're just in the moment, and it gives your mind a little rest. And then after that, you just feel really positive. So, I think that's another thing that can help being positive. Exercise is another one. Some people use exercise. I think that's not just because it helps you be present in the moment whilst you're doing it, but after exercise, it releases loads of dopamines and endorphins as well. So, I think there's that aspect to it as well. Plus, there's that whole egotistical thing about it. And not in a negative way. There's nothing wrong with having an ego, by the way. You say ego, and for some reason these days it's got really negative connotations, but there's nothing wrong with having an ego. Everyone's got one. Everyone's got an image of themselves. And there's nothing wrong with looking at yourself in a positive light. So, I don't know why it's got such a negative thing around it. But yeah, that's another reason because people like to, that's another version of self-improvement, isn't it? Like in a physical way and a mental way. So, I think, yeah, big up the ego. Let yourself have one. There's no, don't put yourself down 'cause you're feeling good about yourself. It makes no sense at all.
Anyway, we're going to scramble on over to the section that I fondly call a cheeky little plunge. And this week, we're going to be looking at the phrase bog standard. I don't understand it. I say it all the time. Bog, that's bog standard. What's so standard about bog? Know what I mean? So, let's look into it and see if it takes us on a lovely little journey. The meaning behind bog standard is, well, if you go somewhere for a restaurant to a restaurant or something and you have a meal and you come out, you say it's bog standard. You sort of saying it's bang average, aren't you? But in a kind of sort of, it's not really average. You're sort of saying it's below average. It's meant to be bog standard as a standard, but it's not. It's below average. If you go to a restaurant and you put in their review, "Oh yes, I had a lovely meal. It was bog standard." It's not good, is it? I think it depends because restaurants, they're supposed to provide something that's better than average, aren't they? It's supposed, it's supposed to be something to remember. Whereas, if you go to get a kebab, then maybe you can appropriately call it bog standard and it still be all right. "How was your kebab last night?" "It's a bog standard kebab." Sounds, sounds a bit better really, doesn't it? But it means ordinary, basic, and with a, with a slight derogatory slur on it as well. So, I'm going to be, I want to know what, where it come from. And I've done a little bit of research, and there seems to be two potential options.
So, the first one is bog standard. Apparently, some people say it came from the original term was box standard and it was for Hornby train sets. Used to buy train sets, used to be big back in the day in the '40s, '50s and '60s. You used to get these like little train sets and you used to get the, the box standard was meant to be like the basic one. And then apparently the one up from that was the box deluxe. The more premium version was the box deluxe. And apparently that's where the term dogs bollocks comes from. The box deluxe is dogs bollocks and the box standard is bog standard. I don't know if there's any truth behind it. Is it just coincidence that they sound similar? Maybe. But it sort of makes sense. The whole bog standard thing, it reminded me of when I went to, um, I went to Limerick on the advice of the Blind Boy. I listen to the Blind Boy podcast quite a lot and I booked a flight to Limerick with my sister because I wanted to check out this Chicken Hut. He was talking about Chicken Hut on his podcast and he said it's amazing. There's a whole podcast on it. Check out, it's really interesting and I was like, I want to go to Ireland anyway. I'll go to Limerick and try out this Chicken Hut thing. And I tried it and, uh, bog standard would be the term I'd use. It was, it was bang average. My mate, I showed him a picture of the front of it and it doesn't look that good and he said it is going to be bang average and he was right. It was, it was a bit, it was a bit [ __ ] actually. Oh, me. See, so bog standard means a bit [ __ ]. I've just proven it by my own definition. People say bog standard means a bit [ __ ]. So that's one option anyway. The bog standard relating to the Hornby train as in box standard.
But the other term, the other definition could potentially come from the mass production of ceramic toilets. Obviously, everyone knows that another term for the word toilet is bog. And it was a standardization of a product, a manufacturer creating a standard for a product that's in mass production. And ceramic toilets were one of the first things to be produced like that, I suppose. So, there's potential that it came from that. It's bog standard. It's the standard toilet. Everyone knows what they're going to get when you get one from the shop or you order online or whatever. You know what you, you know exactly what you're going to get. And nowadays, standardization is everywhere, isn't it? In restaurants, in chain restaurants, anything that you order online that's mass-produced. We live by standards these days. If you buy something, you expect it to be just like everyone else's. There's a lot of that where everything's got to be the same.
But anyway, it got me thinking. And I was like, what was before? What did they use before toilets then? And then of course it was the chamber pots everyone had back in the day. And I thought, ah, that is actually something that might come back 'cause that was, this is actually better sometimes. A chamber pot. It might be one of those things that come back. A lot of things come back. They do. They go through the loops. Like mullets are back now. You know what I mean? Baggie jeans. They've made a comeback. I think chamber pots could be something that makes a return because if you think about it, they're quite good. Especially if you got a downstairs toilet and the amount of times I get up in the night to go for a piss. It's, I've got a small bladder, I think, and I go for a piss like five, six times a night sometimes if I'm drinking water, especially when it's hot 'cause you get dehydrated, don't you? So you're drinking water and you're pissing all the time. So, a nice little chamber pot under the bed would be quite good 'cause you're not waking anyone up with your creaky floorboards, running a [ __ ] tap, washing your hands, flushing the toilet, none of that. You just whip out your little chamber pot, do your business, and then tuck it back under the bed and then empty it in the morning. What's wrong with that? Think bring it back. It's good. I might look for one. Even if it isn't antique, it would still be good. But if they did bring out one out these days, it would probably be a bit more high-tech. So even better because it, you could, it may tell you how hydrated you are or what vitamins you're missing from your diet and stuff like that. Be good. It'd be like an eye, an eye pot or something. You know what I mean? Be quite good. Bring it back. Mullets, baggy jeans.
Something else I think they should look into bringing back. And I tried to put this the right way because I don't want to be misunderstood here. Back in the day, they had something called a skull's bridle. And it was basically if a, if your wife or your girlfriend or whatever was, I think being like abusive or just being like verbally abusive, then they used to stick on this something called a skull's bridle. And it was like a, it was like a metal head head thing they stuck on and it had like a bit of metal that went in their mouth and it sort of like you sort of padlocked it to their head and it meant they, and it meant they couldn't talk. And obviously, I know you couldn't bring that out these days and why would you? It seems a bit excessive. What I'm saying is on the extreme side of things, maybe not that exact product, but something like it would be good because don't forget domestic violence in relationships does go both ways. A lot of the time everyone assumes it's the man in a relationship being abusive when really a lot of the time it's the woman, but it often gets overlooked. I watched a little social experiment recently where they got a man in a busy public place who was like grabbing his misses by the arms and shaking her, shouting at her. And everyone's running up to him going, "You, you [ __ ] leave her alone. I'll call the police. You can't." All this sort of stuff. And then they did it somewhere else in a public place with a woman. She did the exact same thing to him, like hitting him and slapping him around the face and shouting at him. And everyone's just laughing, taking videos and walking past. So I think it gets overlooked. So in that light, if there was like an abusive relationship and instead of sending the woman to prison for assault at the end of the day, you could bring out this like medical skull's bridle where it's just a skull's bridle but in tablet form where they take a tablet and it just renders you unable to speak. And I think that will solve a lot of issues in relationships because sometimes a little bit of peace and quiet does a world of good. You know what I mean? Bring it back in a different way. But that's, that's my, I might make a little feature out of Bring It Back. Actually, I think there's quite a few things that can come back.
But anyway, back to the chamber pot. So, they're pretty good. And then what else they used to have back in the day was something called outdoor privies. And they used to have private ones and public ones. If you were lucky enough, you'd have an outdoor privy at the back of your house and it was like a little wooden hut shed thing and you go over there and do your business in there. But obviously the problem was there was no plumbing or sewage back in the day. They needed to be emptied and cleaned or whatever. And I used to think that people were just responsible for their own privies. But actually there was, there was someone, there was a person responsible for that back in the day and they were called gong farmers. G O N Gong. Gong apparently is another word for privy and they were gong farmers and it was their job to go around cleaning the privies. They clean the public ones which will probably be a lot worse and the private ones as well. And they're only allowed to work at night obviously because it would be pretty off-putting if you're walking around your Wednesday morning market and there's a gong farmer walking around with [ __ ] pots of [ __ ]. So they had to work at night. And not only that, but they had to live separately from the rest of the community. Probably 'cause they stank and that, and nobody really wanted to live next door to a gong farmer. But they were paid fairly well. Six pints a day apparently. It was pretty good back then. And they had to go around and clear out your what was known as night soil back then. They didn't call it [ __ ]. They called it night soil. The gong farmer was here for the night soil. Let him through. And that's one of the reasons why so many buildings in towns and cities had access ways to the back garden. So it actually had an effect on architecture as well because nobody wants a gong farmer walking through your living room. They made sure the buildings had access to the back. See, gong, gong farmers could go in and out. So I thought that's quite interesting as well. Apparently though, they did quite often find bodies of dead infants when they were doing their gong farming, which is quite dark. It was quite expensive probably to raise kids back then and obviously contraception wasn't readily available. So for some families, it was like another kid would have crippled them. They wouldn't have been able to survive. So they just turfed, turfed a kid out with the rest of the gong and then the gong farmers would just carry it away, take it away almost, which is quite bleak, but it's down as one of the worst jobs in history apparently.
But I'm going to question that in a minute. And then I was like, what other jobs in history were as bad or worse than being a gong farmer? And apparently there was something called a bone grubber back in the day, also known as rag bone men. And what they did was walk around the streets looking for crap basically and bits and bobs just lying around. They were scavengers. That's the best term to describe it. They were scavengers. But they were mainly after old bits of rag and bones. So they could have been working with the, in conjunction with the gong farmers to be fair, getting the bones of the dead infants 'cause they were after bones. And what they used to do was boil the bones up and make glue. And they used to sell the glue and make clothing out from the random bits of cloth they found. And that's why they were called rag and bone men. So they were resourceful and entrepreneurial at the end of the day. They had a problem. Got no money, got no skills, got no family. What are they going to do? Right, I'm going to collect these bits and see what I can do with them. So fair play to them.
Apparently, there was also toshers back in there. They were called toshers and they did exactly the same thing as the bone grubbers apart from they did it in the sewers. So, was they were sort of like one down from a bone grubber. Maybe they worked their way up. Maybe you could only have so many bone grubbers in a certain area. And I like, right, we've got enough bone grubbers here. You can come in, but you can be a tosher. Prove yourself as a tosher and you work your way up to a bone grubber if you do well. And they just had to fish around the sewers, which was strangely illegal. So it wasn't illegal for the bone grabbers, but it was illegal for the toshers. The toshers were, yeah, bottom of society, I suppose, but you wouldn't even see them because they were in the sewers. They weren't annoying anyone.
And then another job they had back there was plague bearers, uh, who were also made to work at night as well. Bloody nighttime in the 1800s must have been a bit weird with [ __ ] plague bearers walking around. I'll tell you about them in a second. And gong farmers knocking about as well. And you're hearing the [ __ ] toshers scratching around in the sewers. No wonder people have got a pretty bleak view in the [ __ ] Victorian times. So the plague bearers, it was their job to clear out the dead bodies from people that died of the plague. They just had to go around with a little cart and collect the dead, which obviously put their health at risk. And they were made to live in a separate bit of the community as well obviously because they didn't want the council or the government or whoever employed them, didn't want them knocking about with the regular folk passing on the diseases and that. They were made to live in churchyards. So, yeah, not a great selection of jobs. Imagine that at your careers day. You're walking in, right? What do you got for me? Or at the job, the job center, right? You can be a bone grubber, a tosher, a plague bearer, or a gong farmer. If it was me and I had the option of those four jobs, I don't know. You have to look at it like a hierarchy. Who's, who's the top dog out of that bunch? I think it would have to be the gong farmers because they were paid all right. They were, they were recruited by the council or the government. They must have been. Someone's paying them. Know what I mean? If they're clearing, if they're clearing out public gongs, someone from the government must be paying them. So they're being recruited by the government and they're doing a job of work. You know, bit of labor. You get more respect. So I think I'd choose a gong farmer. And I think you'd get used to smelling like [ __ ]. You know what I mean? It's like when you, when you've gone to the loo and you've been in there for a bit, the smell, you think the smell's gone and then you walk out and you do something and then you come back and you go, "Oh, [ __ ] stings in there." And because you've got used to it. Your body just gets used to stuff. It's like when you, it's like when you go for a dip in the sea. It's freezing when you first get in. Takes about five minutes and you got used to it again. I work in a kitchen and sometimes it's unbearably hot. You are sweating. It's, it's [ __ ] roasted in there. People always say, "Oh, how do you work in here?" You just get used to it like anything else. So, I think the gong farmers sound on the surface of it looks like an awful job, but I think it's something you would get used to. And I don't think most people, I think most people are having a pretty [ __ ] time in the 1800s anyway. So, I think I'd choose to be a gong farmer over the others because I don't think a bone grubber is, is not really a job, is it? Scavenging around. They're working for themselves. I mean, I suppose the upside is they are, they are self-employed. They can choose their own working hours and they've got the satisfaction of having their own business. So, that maybe I would be that actually. That is quite good thinking about it. The gong farmers, they get every day off. That's the thing. Get every day off. You only have to work at night. And I reckon they got their work done quick 'cause you wouldn't hang about, would you? And if you're in a village of like 300, it wouldn't take that long if you had a little team here. In cities, it obviously be worse. But I think you'd have, I think there'd be a bigger operation. I think there'd be a little management structure. I think there'd be promotional opportunities. I think there'd be management. I think you'd start off as a, because the gong farmers had help like little kids who couldn't get into the small spaces and stuff like that. So they used the kids to get in there. So you'd start off as maybe as a kid, then you work your way up to a fully-fledged gong farmer and then in like towns and cities and that, you must have been supervising a team of gong farmers. They'd be like, "Right, we got [ __ ] 50 privies public and 150 privates today. Well, you go there, you go there, you go there," and they dish it out like that. So, I reckon it must have been a bit like that. Whereas the bone grubbers, I reckon they just worked on their own without those teams of them knocking about. So, I think, yeah, I think there's benefits to both of them, but over that, I think I'd choose the gong farmer. Tosher, no. I mean, they're the bottom of society, aren't they? Scratching about in the sewers looking for stuff. No, the plague bearer. I think I'd give that a miss as well, 'cause you, you're likely to die. But I do think the plague bearers are still in a hierarchy. I do think the plague bearers in a hierarchy would be above the bone grubbers and the toshers, one below the gong farmers because they're getting paid by the government, but they do have to live in a churchyard away from anyone else and you might die. So, it is [ __ ]. So, yeah, that's my thoughts on those.
Anyway, the plague, weirdly enough, is still around today. Africa, Asia, even western parts of the USA. The bubonic plague is still around today, which is just mad to think, but apparently it's easily curable. That's why we don't really have it in Western parts of the world, apart from the Western USA. It's bizarre because apparently it's quite easy curable, easily curable with antibiotics and stuff like that. But it's something I've never had as someone calling in an excuse. I've had all sorts of excuses. People calling up. I've never had anyone say, "Are you all right there?" "You all right, mate? How's it going?" "Yeah. Uh, I won't be in today, mate." "Oh, why is that?" "I've just been to the US on holiday." "Oh, yeah. How was it?" "Yeah, it's good. Good. But I've picked up the plague. Yeah, I won't be in today." I'll be like, "Fine." You would say, "That's fine, mate. Take as long as you need." You don't want someone with a [ __ ] plague coming in, do you? But I haven't had that yet. There are plenty of people calling in with COVID still this day. I'm like, people called up, "Can't come in today. I did a test and I've got COVID." People like, "Get to work." That's nothing now. That's nothing. It's a bit mad to think that back in the day, back in the day we were locked down. Nobody can leave the house and now it's not even, not even a good enough excuse not to go to work. So, yeah, I don't take that as an excuse. It's nothing.
But I think we're too soft on people these days with the sickness and that. People call up and they go, "Oh, I've got a bit of a cold. Won't be in today." Or, "I've got a flu coming on." You got, it's coming. How do you know it's coming on? See, I've got the flu now. I get that one a lot. "I've got a cold coming on." But you haven't got it now then. And how do you know it's coming? You know what I mean? Or another one that annoys me is, "Oh, I won't be in today. I've got the shits." Got the shits. Why is that? Why can you not work then? Because you have to go to the toilet more often. That makes no sense at all. How are you going to be off for then? You got the [ __ ]. That's what a rubbish excuse that is. In my opinion, you should only call in sick if you're physically unable to get in or you got the plague. That would be up there. But if you, if you can physically get to work, then you should then go to work. I hate that. Or if you're hung over as well, just go to work. You know what I mean? It's not good enough. You wouldn't catch a gong farmer calling in sick, would you? Or a plague bearer. Imagine that. "Oh, yeah. Um, is the boss about? I won't be in today. I've got a bit of a dicky belly." "Hold on, let me check. Uh, Steve, the plague bearer won't be in today. He's not feeling very well." "This won't happen. I'll be like, 'Right, we got 20 dead bodies to deal with it. [ __ ] deal with them or join them. It's up to you.'" That's what I'd say.
But in a way, we've still got plague bearers today. If we still got the plague, that means we still got plague bearers. Just got a different name. So who deals with the dead bodies now? The people that died with the plague. [ __ ] paramedics, isn't it? They do exactly the same thing. They just call someone else. Which makes me think, did plague bearers back then have the same respect that paramedics have got now? 'Cause maybe we're just looking at those times in a negative light because we're comparing it to today's standards. But really, back then, your plague bearer was like a bit of a hero. They got celebrated. Everyone needs to stand outside the house and clap at 4:00 p.m. on a Friday or whatever it was. You know what I mean? And technically, we still got bone grubbers as well if we're just comparing them to scavengers. Apart from we don't have people scavenging around for bones and rags anymore. They're just scavenging for [ __ ] mainly. You see them all the time, don't you? There's a certain look in their eye. You can see them. They might look normal, but if they're looking around the floor in a really manic and enthusiastic kind of way and they're a bit raggedy, they're probably looking for [ __ ] butts. Keep your eyes out, you'll see them. It's picking up little [ __ ] butts, even tiny little [ __ ] butts all the time. So, they nowadays they'd be called like butt grubbers or something. You know what I mean? But we still got them. But instead of looking for bones, they're looking for [ __ ] butts.
But it's always confused me that when you see people looking around for [ __ ] butts on the floor because there's way more important things they should be sorting out like somewhere to live or getting a job or, you know what I mean, or something like that. Like they've, they've got problems and having a, the fact they haven't got a [ __ ] shouldn't be their top priority, but they spend all their time looking for [ __ ] butts on the floor. So, my own personal guess about that situation is, and I've got nothing against people with drug issues or substance abuse problems at all, but I think they're most likely crackheads. And I'll do a little podcast on crackheads one day 'cause I've got quite a lot to say about those. I think, yeah, to be continued. But my guess is they're crackheads. They've had some crack because if they hadn't had crack, they'd be looking for crack, not [ __ ] butts. Let's assume they've had a crack and now they, they've got the energy and they've got the motivation to hunt for [ __ ]. They're probably enjoying it. They're probably having a [ __ ] a sick little time. They're probably loving it to scr around [ __ ] butts. They don't give a [ __ ] what people think about them looking at them. They just got one focus. They've got one thing in their mind and that is getting a little [ __ ] butt together until the crack runs out and then they'll be looking for money for some more crack. So, I'm guessing they've already got money as well, actually, because they're quite forward-thinking people, I think. Crackheads. First things first, get money. Get money to get crack. And once you've got the crack, you need to make sure you got, you're getting more money to get more crack later. So, once you've got money, no, once you've got crack and money for some more after it runs out, then you can look for fag butts. I think it goes like that. I think it's like a.
ABC type cycle. But yeah, and so that's the modern day bone grubber there. But maybe it was the same thing back then with bone grubbers back then, because you did actually have opioids and cocaine back in the 1800s. It was available. I looked into it, and it was there. It's not like a, it's not like a modern-day thing. It's not a recent invention, cocaine and opioids. You still had crack and smackheads back in the 1800s. So your bone grubbers could have been crackheads, and instead of looking for [ __ ] butts, they were looking for bones and rags. And it was just the same thing. Your plague bearers were paramedics. Your bone grubbers were your local crackheads. And it was just everyone's roles are the same with just different names and different surroundings, and that, you know what I mean? Could be like that. But more on crackheads later. So that'll do. I think that concludes today's our cheeky little plunger, and it took us on a weird little journey. Starting off with bog standard, went through a weird little journey, then we ended up on 1800s Victorian crackheads. I didn't expect it to take us there, but I'm glad it did.
So, what's next, I hear you ask? Well, we're going to scuttle on over to the next feature, which is called "What's That Sound and Where Did It Come From?" And the jingle goes like this: "What's that sound? Where did it come from?"
So, what is that goddamn sound? The sound I'm talking about today is, it's a sound that I've heard for years. I'm not big into football, but when I do watch football, it's usually the World Cup, the Euros, or something like that. Uh, so when I do watch football, I always hear this sound. It's like, click, click, click. It sounds like two wooden blocks being tapped together. It sounds like, if you watch boxing, you know when they've got like 10 seconds left of the round? It's like in the background. It's like, it's like three or four taps, loud like clicks. I keep hearing it during football. I'm like thinking, what is that signifying? It's nowhere near the end of the first half, so it can't be that. It doesn't seem to have any pattern. It didn't seem to have any relevance. And then, um, I sort of ignored it. And then one day, the video, the recorder, the camera was on the goalkeeper. Uh, he was leaning, leaning against the goalpost, and then there's that sound. Clap, clap, clap. And I seen him, and he was twatting his boots against the goal. And I was like, "Oh, that's what that [ __ ] sound is." He's trying to get mud off his boots. And obviously, they have microphones near the goalposts because they like to hear the, they like to hear stuff around that sort of area, don't they? The boot, like you always, if a goalie takes a goal kick, you always hear him, that that punch of the sound of the boot against ball. They've got microphones around that area. So they pick it up, that click, click clicking. So that's where it comes from.
But it got me thinking as well. I was like, maybe that they sometimes use it as like a secret code because they're always like trying to communicate with each other with like sign language, aren't they? To try and slightly tell them where to boot the ball or whatever with little hand gestures. So maybe they've locked into, locked into a little bit of like Morse code or something as well. They could be like, three taps for left, two taps for kick it right. And if they haven't done, they should look into that because that would work quite well because they wouldn't be suspected. They were like, "Well, I'm just getting mud off my boots," and I'm not really communicating. Prove it. So, yeah.
But because they used to do that, they used to have tap code. It's called tap code. And it was a lot different to Morse code. It was like, tap code is in like a little grid, and they used to communicate. And each sequence of taps referred to a letter. I suppose it was a lot like Morse code. It's called tap code. And they used it in, it was, it used a lot in the Vietnam War. They used it in prisoners of war camps. If they got, if they got busted in Vietnam and they were chucked in a, chucked in a war camp, they used to just tap to each other. I hope they didn't get caught out.
But other people communicate with taps as well. Autistic people, they communicate with taps. If they, if they're tapping like really quickly, it can mean that they're, they're really anxious. Or they could be tapping to regulate their own sensory input, apparently as well. Or they might like tap on someone to, as in an affectionate way, just little taps. The tapping, it has been, it is a form of communication as well. And it's not just autistic people that tap to communicate. It's neurotypical people do it as well. What do you see people do when they're getting impatient? They start tapping their foot, or they start tapping their fingers. I think I do it sometimes.
I've got a little Co-op near my nearby me, and it's only small, and it gets massive queues. I don't know why they don't employ more people. But what really bugs me is when you get someone in there doing their [ __ ] weekly shop. They shouldn't have a trolley there. Trolleys should be banned. I don't know why people shop there, fill a trolley up at that little Co-op, must cost about 300 quid. But you still see people do it. But most people are going in there for a bottle of milk or bread, about two or three items, or a packet of [ __ ] or something like that. So they shouldn't allow people to go in there with 300 quid worth of [ __ ] shopping while there like 20 people waiting behind them. So, if I'm ever in that sort of queue, I start tapping. And I tap quite loudly as well, because it's sort of like, I'm not tapping it just because I'm, I'm anxious about being impatient. I'm trying to tap loud enough so they can hear me as well. So, I'm communicating to them that I'm pissed off. My taps mean I'm not happy. So, we do it as well.
And we learn it from an early age as well. Like, I've got a little girl, and ever since she was a baby, we used to tap her on the back to send her off to sleep. Just little taps on the back. She [ __ ] loves it, and everyone does it. You see people hugging each other, and they tap each other on the back. It's like a, it is like a sign of affection, isn't it? Or you'll pat someone on the back, and a pat is a type of tap at the end, at the end of the day. A pat is just a short tap, or the other way around. I think you associate tapping with a long series of taps, whereas a pat is just one or two. You can even pat someone on the back once. A pat is just a slap. A pat is a light slap. But anyway, you pat dogs as well. You give them little pats on the head, little pat on the back. We've always been patting and tapping.
And apparently, the sound of tapping is sometimes used in therapy to reduce people's feelings of stress and anxiety. They'll just put a sound of tapping in the background. You can imagine it. It's just peaceful. It's like a rhythmic, you know. And, and of course, irregular tapping would do the opposite effect. It would put you right on edge. Irregular tapping would be stressful as [ __ ], because you can't predict when the next tap's going to come. Rhythmic tapping is nice, and irregular is, is just horrible. You couldn't tap a baby to sleep irregularly. You couldn't just do random taps on a baby. They would not, that wouldn't work. It needs to be regular. We, as humans, we like patterns. Maybe we're all a little bit autistic because we all just love patterns. We all love that regular, that regularity of sound. Irregular tapping ain't going to put anyone at ease at the end of the day.
And I suppose that's our first introduction to music really. Our introduction to rhythm. It comes from that, that early, early days baby sort of getting tapped on the back. It's hardwired in that we love regularity. It's even in our physical bodies. Our heartbeat should be regular. If you got an irregular heartbeat, it's bad news, isn't it? And most music you have today always follows a regular beat. You got to learn the rhythm of the beat. And it's hardwired in to our, to our brains and our bodies. We just love that regularity in sound.
I'm sure everyone's heard of Chinese water torture. If you haven't, it's, um, it's basically, it's, it's a way that they tortured people a long time ago, and they used to tie them up, stick them underneath a dripping tap or something, or like a barrel of water with a hole in it, and then they would let singular drops of water just drip onto your head, and it would produce a psychiatric break within 20 hours, apparently. But the trick is to the Chinese water torture, it wasn't the physical effect of the water droplets hitting your head. It was they made sure that the water droplets were coming out irregularly. There was, they weren't a regular drip, drip, drip. They were coming out like random drips. And that was what would drive people nuts. It wasn't the fact that they were getting dripped on. It was the fact that the drips were irregular. And that's how they made people lose their [ __ ] minds. Because if you had a regular drip, drip, drip dripping on your head, you could meditate yourself away from it almost because you can predict the next one. You could get into a little rhythm even in your mental state. It wouldn't be nice, but I reckon you could deal with it. If it was irregular droplets and you couldn't predict the next one, that's what's going to [ __ ] you up.
But Chinese water torture wasn't actually Chinese at all. It's just another case of the Chinese getting blamed for something. It actually came from Italy. It was Italian. It was an Italian torture method from somewhere called Bologna. Bologna. It's probably where Bolognese came from. Even though Bolognese isn't actually a dish, apparently, which is a bit weird. Now I'm questioning it. I'm questioning that fact now. Actually, I was told not long ago that Bolognese doesn't exist. It's actually ragu. It's beef ragu in a tomato, in a tomato sauce with with spaghetti. It's beef ragu. Bolognese is just what English people came up with. And then because English people thought that Bolognese was an Italian dish, then Italian restaurants in England started producing spaghetti bolognese because that's what English people thought Italian food was. But it actually isn't. But now I've just seen the word Bologna. But now I've just realized that Chinese water torture actually came from somewhere called Bologna in Italy. Maybe. I mean, it's a bit of a coincidence.
Anyway, that concludes this feature. That's it for today's podcast. I've very much enjoyed making episode two. I feel like I've got into the flow of it now a bit more. I can't wait to make episode three, uh, which will be coming out next week. So, thanks for listening. Thanks for following. And I'm going to leave it today with a little conducive summary with some nice little twiddly acoustic guitar in the background. Enjoy.
I'm looking for a bone grabber. I seen one scratching around in the streets. My gong farmer has died, and my night soil is full. Died? You say? I shall fetch the plague bearer. He only comes out at night. I need someone to dispose of my night soil. You there, bone grabber. Would you like a promotion? No. If I can get enough infant's bones together, I can make enough glue to buy myself some crack cocaine. Thanks for listening. See you later. [Music]