Transcription
Sis, come let us sit down and talk. Because I feel like becoming a woman of God sounds beautiful, but when you actually live it out, it's not always pretty. It's quiet. It's stretching. It's confronting. And sometimes it's lonely.
I used to think a woman of God was just someone who wakes up early, prays for hours, reads her Bible perfectly, never struggles. But no one told me about the days when you don't feel like praying, the moments when your attitude is off, when your heart is heavy, when you feel far from God, even though you love him. And I had to learn becoming a woman of God is not about perfection. It's about surrender.
Because sometimes we hear messages about being a woman of God and it sounds so polished, but nobody really talks about the in-between. The messy middle. There were days I woke up with every intention to pray and I just didn't. Not because I don't love God, but because my flesh was louder than my spirit. I'd reach for my phone first, scroll, scroll, scroll, and before I knew it, my mind was already filled with noise.
And then later, I'd feel it. That emptiness, that disconnection. Not because God moved, but because I did. And I had to sit with that truth.
There were also moments where I knew exactly what God was asking me to do and I delayed it. You know that feeling when you feel that nudge in your spirit, like, don't say that, don't go there, let it go, forgive. And instead of obeying, you wrestle with it. You justify it. You sit in your feelings. You replay the situation in your mind, like, but they hurt me, but I deserve to feel this way. And deep down, you know obedience is required here, but it's hard.
And no one really tells you that becoming a woman of God will confront your pride, your habits, your thought patterns, even the things you've normalized. I remember having to check my attitude, not just outwardly, but inwardly, because you can be quiet and still be disrespectful in your heart. You can look calm, but be full of resentment inside. And God doesn't just deal with what people see. He deals with what's hidden. That part, it humbled me.
And then, there's the struggle with consistency. Some days you're on fire. You're praying, journaling, reading, worshipping. Other days, you feel dry. You open your Bible and it feels like words on a page. You try to pray and your mind keeps wandering.
And in those moments, the enemy whispers, "See, you're not really changing." But that's not true, because growth isn't always loud. Sometimes growth looks like showing up even when you don't feel anything. Sometimes becoming a woman of God looks like whispering, "God, I'm tired, but I'm still here." And that counts.
But here's the part that really convicted me. I realized I was comfortable calling myself a woman of God without fully living like one. And that's a hard truth. Because it's easy to claim the title, but becoming her requires dying to parts of yourself. Your ego, your need to be right, your attachment to certain habits, certain mindsets. And God will gently, but firmly start asking you to let things go. Not to punish you, but to free you. And that process, it's uncomfortable. Because you're not just adding godly habits, you're being transformed from the inside out. And sometimes that feels like losing who you used to be.
But what I'm learning is this. You're not losing yourself. You're finding who God actually created you to be. And that version of you, she's stronger. She's softer in the right ways. She's wiser. She's anchored.
But getting there, it requires honesty. Not pretending you're okay when you're not. Not performing spirituality. Not hiding your struggles from God. Because he already sees it. He just wants you to bring it to him. So, if you've been struggling, if you've been inconsistent, if you felt a little distant lately, you're not disqualified. But you are being invited higher. And it starts with acknowledging where you really are.
Let's talk about Proverbs 31. Because I feel like a lot of us read it with quiet pressure in our hearts. Like, am I enough? Am I doing this right? How do I even become this woman? I used to open that chapter and feel inspired for a moment, then immediately overwhelmed. Because when you read it on the surface, it sounds like this woman is doing everything. She's waking up early, she's working with her hands, she's providing, she's disciplined, she's wise, she's strong, she's respected.
And I remember thinking, "God, I can barely stay consistent with my quiet time some days. Now I must also be this?" And that's where I had it wrong. Because Proverbs 31 was never meant to make you feel like you're behind. It was never meant to turn into a checklist you measure yourself against. It's a revelation of character, not a schedule of tasks.
If you look deeper, everything she does flows from who she is and who she is flows from her relationship with God. That's why the verse says, "Charm is deceptive and beauty is fleeting, but a woman who fears the Lord is to be praised." That's the anchor. Not her productivity, not her perfection, not how much she accomplishes in a day. It's her fear of the Lord.
And let's slow down there for a second, because that phrase can sound heavy. Fearing the Lord isn't about being scared of God. It's about reverence. It's about honoring him deeply. It's about caring more about what he thinks than what people think. It's waking up and saying, "God, I want my life to please you, even in the small things."
And when that becomes your foundation, everything else starts to align. Not perfectly, but progressively. You begin to notice small shifts. You start choosing your words more carefully. You start becoming more patient. Slowly, you start valuing wisdom over impulse. Not because you're forcing yourself, but because God is shaping you.
And here's something that really changed my perspective. The Proverbs 31 woman wasn't built in a day. She became her over time. Through decisions, through obedience, through seasons we don't even see. We read one chapter, but that's a whole life summarized. And I think sometimes we compare our beginning to her finished picture. And that's not fair to yourself. Because you're still in process. You're still learning what it means to trust God, to surrender your emotions, to walk in discipline. And God is not rushing you, even if you feel like you're behind.
Also, can I say this gently? Sometimes we focus so much on doing like the Proverbs 31 woman that we skip being with God. We try to be productive, organized, disciplined, but we're spiritually empty. And God is like, "I don't just want your hands. I want your heart."
Because you can wake up early, stay busy, do everything right, and still not be connected to him. That's why this isn't about performance. It's about transformation. It's about allowing God to work on your heart, your thoughts, your desires. So that over time, you don't just act like a woman of God, you actually become one.
And the beautiful thing is, this isn't something you have to force. You partner with God in it. You show up. You surrender. You respond when he corrects you. And slowly, quietly, deeply, he forms you into a woman who carries wisdom, a woman who walks in strength, a woman who fears the Lord, not out of fear, but out of love. So don't read Proverbs 31 and feel pressure. Read it and see possibility. Not, "I have to be her tomorrow," but "God is shaping me into her step by step."
There's a story that really shifted me. I love the story of Mary and Martha. And I love this story because it's so real. And I feel like it might speak to you, too. Jesus comes into their home, right? And Martha immediately goes into hosting mode. She's moving, preparing, serving, doing everything that looks right. And if we're being honest, a lot of us are Martha. Busy, responsible, doing what needs to be done, trying to show up well. There's nothing wrong with that.
But then, there's Mary. Mary is sitting at Jesus' feet, just listening. Not rushing, not performing, not trying to prove anything. She's just present. And Martha gets frustrated. You can almost hear it in her voice. Lord, don't you care that my sister has left me to do all the work by myself? Tell her to help me.
And I used to read that and think, Martha has a point. Like, Mary, at least help a little. But Jesus responds in a way that's so gentle, but also so correcting. Martha, Martha, you are worried and upset about many things, but few things are needed or indeed only one. Mary has chosen what is better, and it will not be taken away from her. Luke 10: 41 through 42.
That part, you are worried and upset about many things, it hit me. Because Martha wasn't wrong for serving, but she was distracted. Distracted by doing so much that she missed being with Jesus. And I had to ask myself, how many times have I been busy but not connected? How many times have I filled my day with good things but neglected the one thing that actually matters?
Because you can be doing things for God and still not be with him. And that's where the shift happens. Mary chose what Jesus called better. Not more impressive, not more productive, better. She chose intimacy over activity, presence over pressure. And I feel like becoming a woman of God requires that same choice over and over again.
Because the world will always reward busyness, always. Doing more, achieving more, being seen more. But God is looking at something deeper. He's asking, will you sit with me even when there's so much to do? Will you choose me even when no one sees it? Will you value my presence more than your performance?
And that's not always easy, because sitting with God can feel unproductive, especially when you have responsibilities, deadlines, expectations. But what I'm learning is this. Time with God is never wasted. It's where your strength comes from. It's where your mind is renewed. It's where your heart is corrected gently. And without that, you start doing life in your own strength. And that's exhausting. That's where burnout comes from. That's where frustration builds. That's where you start feeling distant even while doing all the right things.
And maybe that's where you are right now. Busy but tired, doing a lot but still feeling empty. And God is not condemning you. He's inviting you back to the simple place. Not to do more, but to be with him. Because the Proverbs 31 woman, she isn't just productive, she's rooted. And that root, it's built in moments like Mary's. Quiet, hidden, intentional.
So maybe today you don't need to fix everything. Maybe you just need to sit. Even if it's for a few minutes, even if your mind wanders a little, just come back. Because in that place, God forms you. Not through pressure, but through presence.
Can we pause here for a second and just be honest? Not the polished, I'm doing okay kind of honest, but the kind where you actually look at your heart. Because this part, it's not comfortable, but it's necessary. Let me ask you something, gently but truthfully. Are you trying to look like a woman of God or are you becoming one when no one sees you?
Because it's easy to curate an image. You can post the scripture, you can say the right things, you can even show up in church, serve, be consistent outwardly, and still struggle inwardly. Still wrestle with comparison. Still hold on to unforgiveness. Still entertain thoughts that don't align with who God is calling you to be. And the truth is, God is not after the image. He's after your heart. Not the version of you people will applaud, but the version of you that shows up in private.
Who are you when it's just you and your thoughts? When your phone is off, when there's no one to impress, when you're tired, irritated, or triggered, what comes out of you? Because that's where the real work happens. And I had to confront this in my own life. There were moments where outwardly I looked put together, but internally I knew there were areas I hadn't surrendered. Attitudes I justified, habits I kept going back to, patterns I didn't want to fully let go of.
And God, in his gentleness, kept bringing it back to me like, do you trust me enough to release this? And that question, it goes deep. Because sometimes it's not that we don't know what to do, it's that we don't want to let go. Let go of control, let go of being right, let go of certain relationships, let go of the version of ourselves we've grown comfortable with. And becoming a woman of God will require that. Not all at once, but step by step.
And here's the thing nobody really says out loud. You can't carry everything into your next level. Some things have to stay behind. Some mindsets, some habits, even some environments. They won't align with where God is taking you. And that can feel like loss. It can feel like, why is this so hard? Why do I feel like I'm outgrowing everything? But what's really happening is you're being refined. And refining doesn't feel comfortable. It exposes things. It brings things to the surface you didn't even realize were there. Jealousy, pride, insecurity, fear. Not to shame you, but to heal you.
So, let me ask you again, just you and God, is there anything you've been avoiding? Anything God has been nudging you about but you keep delaying? Is there an area where you've been settling even though you know you're called higher? Are you feeding your spirit or just feeding your distractions?
And I'm not asking these questions to make you feel guilty. Conviction is different from guilt. Guilt pushes you away from God. Conviction draws you closer. Conviction says, this isn't who you are anymore. Come up higher. And that's an invitation. Not rejection, not failure. Invitation.
Because God already knows every part of you. The strong parts and the struggling parts. And he's not waiting for you to fix yourself before coming to him. He's asking you to bring it to him as you are. But also, not stay as you are. And that's the balance. Grace with growth. Love with transformation. So, don't run from this moment. Lean into it. Let God search your heart. Let him gently correct you. Let him show you what needs to change. Because this is how you become. Not by pretending, but by surrendering. Not by performing, but allowing God to do a deep work in you. Even in the hidden places. Especially there.
So, how do we actually live this out? Because it's one thing to feel convicted, it's another thing to walk it out in your everyday life. And I think sometimes we overcomplicate this. We think becoming a woman of God means we have to suddenly wake up at 4:00 a.m. every day, pray for 2 hours, read five chapters, journal perfectly. And if we don't do all of that, we feel like we're failing.
But can I be honest with you? That mindset, it burns you out. God is not asking for performance, he's asking for consistency. And consistency doesn't start big, it starts small, like really small. Maybe for you it looks like this. Waking up and instead of immediately grabbing your phone, you pause for a minute and say, good morning, God. Thank you for waking me up. That's it. It doesn't have to be long or deep, it just has to be real.
Or maybe during your day, when something frustrates you, instead of reacting quickly, you take a breath and say, God, help me respond better here. That's growth. That's becoming.
Or at night, when everything is quiet, instead of letting your mind wander into anxiety or overthinking, you talk to God about what's actually on your heart. Not in perfect words, not in structured prayers, just honestly. God, today was hard. I felt off. I don't even know what I'm doing sometimes. That kind of honesty, it builds real relationship.
And when it comes to reading your Bible, don't approach it like a task to complete, approach it like a conversation. Even if it's just one verse, sit with it. Ask yourself, what is God showing me here? How does this apply to my life right now? Because it's not about how much you read, it's about how much you receive.
And another thing I had to learn, and I'm still learning, you have to guard what you consume because what you constantly watch, listen to, scroll through, it shapes how you think. And if your mind is always filled with noise, it becomes harder to hear God's voice. So, sometimes becoming a woman of God looks like saying, "I can't keep feeding on this anymore, even if it's normal, even if everyone else is doing it." That's discernment, and it's not always easy because your flesh will resist.
You'll feel the pull to go back to old habits, old patterns, old ways of thinking. And in those moments, you have a choice, not a perfect choice, but a real one. Will I go back, or will I grow? And listen, you won't always get it right. There will be days you fall back into old habits, days you don't show up how you want it to, but here's the difference now. You don't stay there. You don't justify it. You don't ignore it. You bring it back to God quickly. That's what growth looks like, not perfection, but responsiveness.
And I also want to say this because it's important. Give yourself grace, but don't use grace as an excuse to stay the same. There's a difference. Grace says, "I messed up, but I'm getting back up with God." Excuses say, "This is just how I am." And you're not called to stay the same. You're called to be transformed, step by step, moment by moment.
So, don't overwhelm yourself trying to become this perfect woman of God overnight. Focus on daily obedience, the small yeses, the quiet surrender, the moments where no one sees, but God does because those moments, they're building something in you, something real, something lasting. And over time, you'll look back and realize you're not where you used to be. Your reactions have changed. Your thoughts have shifted. Your desires are different, not because you forced it, but because you stayed with God, and he did the work in you.
I want to end this right here. With you. Gently. Because after everything we've talked about, the conviction, the stretching, the honesty, I don't want you to leave feeling heavy. I want you to leave grounded and hopeful. So, listen closely.
You don't have to have it all together to become a woman of God. You don't have to fix every habit overnight. You don't have to suddenly be perfectly disciplined. You don't have to get everything right. That's not how this works. This journey, it's not about arriving. It's about becoming. And becoming takes time. It takes patience. It takes grace. It takes moments where you fall and choose to get back up again.
And I think sometimes we disqualify ourselves too quickly. We think, "I messed up again. I'm not consistent enough. Maybe I'm not as strong as I thought." But God doesn't look at you like that. He sees your heart. He sees the fact that you're trying, that you're seeking, that you're even watching this right now because something in you wants more of him. That matters. That's where it starts.
And I want you to understand this. God is not asking you to become someone else. He's shaping you into who you were always meant to be. A woman who is anchored, not easily shaken. A woman who carries peace even when life feels chaotic. A woman who responds with wisdom instead of reacting from emotion. A woman who knows God, not just knows about him. And that version of you, she's not out of reach. She's being formed right now. In your small decisions, in your quiet moments, in your willingness to keep coming back to God even when you feel unworthy.
And can I say this just as a big sister for a moment? Stop being so hard on yourself. Yes, be accountable. Yes, take your growth seriously, but don't tear yourself down in the process because shame was never meant to be your motivator. Love is. Relationship is. And when you truly understand that God loves you, not the future perfect version of you, but you, right now, it changes how you show up.
You stop running from him when you mess up, and you start running to him. You stop hiding your struggles, and you start bringing them into the light. You stop pretending, and you start surrendering. And that's where real transformation happens.
So, if you've been feeling like you're behind, you're not. If you've been feeling inconsistent, you're not disqualified. If you've been feeling like you're not enough, that was never the requirement. Willingness is. A soft heart is. A posture that says, "God, I don't have it all together, but I'm here." That's enough for him to work with. And he will. He will meet you in your quiet moments. He will strengthen you where you feel weak. He will gently correct you when you drift. He will grow you in ways you won't even realize at first.
And one day, you'll look back at this version of yourself, the one who was trying, learning, stumbling, growing, and you'll realize this is where she began. The woman you're praying to become, she's built right here, in these moments, in this season. So, don't quit. Don't rush. Stay with God. Even when it feels slow, even when it feels quiet, even when it feels like nothing is changing, something is happening. Roots are growing. Depth is forming. And you are becoming a woman who fears the Lord, a woman who walks in truth, a woman who is steady because she's rooted in him.
So, take a deep breath. You're not late. You're not lost. You're becoming. Tonight, or whenever you get a quiet moment, just sit with God. No pressure. No long routine. No perfect words. Just come as you are. And let him meet you there. Because he will. Every single time.