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How to Stop Stuff Shuffling (This WORKS!)

The Minimal Mom25:13

Transcription

One of the biggest myths in decluttering is that every item should have an immediate clear-cut answer. Keep it, donate it, toss it, decide right now. And if we move something from one space to another, we often feel like we're failing or oops or I need air quotes, doing decluttering wrong. But now with many more years of experience decluttering, I don't think that's true at all.

The truth is we have complicated relationships with our things. Memories, guilt, fear, fantasy self versions of ourselves just in case thinking. All of that gets wrapped up. I really. They're all. They're all out now. All of that gets wrapped up into physical objects. And so, well, it would be super nice if we could just hold up each item one time and make a perfect decision. That's usually not how real life works.

So, what I've learned instead is that time testing can be incredibly powerful. After a little time passes, the decision often becomes crystal clear. Not because of some magic question, but just because life gave us the answer that we were looking for. So, sometimes what looks like stuff shuffling is actually a strategic way to build confidence in our decision-making.

Well, hello. It's really good to see you today. Uh, what I've been like throwing around here, my stove actually came with an extra set of knobs. Oh, but not just knobs. Also a different handle that you can switch out. So, I wanted like the more, you know, goldish bronzy color or whatever. But if I ever wanted stainless steel, um, I have those as well. What's the problem? I was 99% sure that I would not actually need these, but I didn't know for sure. And so, what did I need to do? Time test them. There's nothing wrong with that.

Uh, but real quick, if we haven't met before, hi, I'm Don, the minimal mom. I've been a minimalist for 10 years now. gotten rid of over 90% of my stuff. Don't miss it and want to help you declutter as well. We're actually kicking off clutter camp inside of our membership community June 1st. It is going to be off the hook so good. Details where details should be. But I want to show you today how we can go from stuff shuffling because we've all had that experience and it doesn't feel great where you move something from one place to another to another to time testing and how valuable this can actually be. When you have good reliable data to work with, we call it collecting data. You can make really, really good decisions and you don't have to be fearful of the outcome.

So in here I had these knob things. There was I don't know, these things that went with it. This was the extra handle. I don't think I'm going to need this. If someone held my feet to the fire and I had to make a decision right now, I'd say no. But I don't know for sure. We get into it and I'm guessing you've had this experience, too. You're like, "All right, I'm going to go declutter. I want a peaceful home. I don't want to spend my one precious life organizing crap that I don't need." Right? And we're like, "All right, I'm going to declutter." And then we get into it. We're like, "I don't know." There's nothing wrong with you. We think there's something wrong with that. Like, why can't I just make a decision? Why am I so indecisive? Why don't I trust my, you know, intuition or whatnot? Because some things we're just not going to know about.

Okay. In the past, I would have moved it into the hall closet. Then I probably would have moved it into my office where there's another pile of crap that would needs to be gone through. And then where would it have ended up? Well, in Minnesota, we have basements, right? This would go to the basement, right? And then what happens? The next time I go to declutter the basement, I'm like, "I'm such a loser. All I've done is shuffled stuff around and moved it." No, no, no. Now, when we go to the basement, here's what we're going to tell ourselves instead. We say, "Oh, good. This has been time-tested. Sweet. It has been tucked away for a period of time. Now it's been a few months since I got this. Uh, often the stuff in our storage spaces, it's been longer, right? Oh, that's awesome. Now I have really good data to work with. Do I think that I would ever switch out the knobs and handles on my stove for the brush nickel? Nope. I don't think so. I'd also thought, well, just in case the stove was faulty or something, I had to return it, I would probably need this stuff with it, right? Nothing seems to be wrong with it. And there's nothing saying I have to to return this with it. Uh, it doesn't void the warranty or anything. So now I can confidently get rid of this stuff. Now let's say it was something like really unique, really expensive. Then you might say like, you know what, good data. I think I'm going to give it another 3 months. But again, we're doing it strategically. So that's what I want to talk about now is in our storage spaces. How can we strategically be time testing stuff and how can we again continue to flip our mindset around stuff that is already down here.

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Okay, now down to the basement. So, I come downstairs with this. I'm like, "You know what? I want to time test this a little bit longer." So, first thing we want to do is to select one area that we use for time testing. So, if you have an extra storage room, basement, maybe some space in your garage, a walk-in closet. You pick a storage space that you are specifically using for time testing. Then if at all possible, we kind of want to keep it neat and tidy if possible. If you have the bandwidth for that, right? If I come into a space and it looks like that, right? My brain can handle that. Our brain wants us to categorize and contain. And I need to actually. We did this on the all day to clutter for Take Your House Pack. I need to label these bins and what's inside of them. But if at all possible, if we can use bins and containers that we already have, like this is kitchen, time will tell. This is clothing, time will tell. This is home decor, time testing. It's really just a kindness to our brain, but not the end of the world if we're just not there yet. So, we've picked our location. We're going to try and keep it neat and tidy. And then we bring this to that designated space. Also helpful if you can somehow put a date on this. Now, I know when this is from because it's when we moved in and the appliances got installed, but a lot of stuff we don't have a necessarily a date attached to it. So, writing on boxes with a Sharpie, putting a post-it note on it, putting some masking tape with the date, huge, huge help. I've showed this before. I had this cord. Um, it was at my old house and then at my parents' house. Mystery cord. I had no idea what it was for. And so, I took a small piece of paint tape and I put the date on it. Then a couple of years later I could have very confidently gotten rid of it. So whenever possible also put the date on it. That's going to give you really good data and good data helps us make good decisions.

Okay. So we have our location. We're trying to keep it neat and tidy. We put a date on it and then we just stick it in there. We let it sit for a little while. Okay. Now that's great if we're starting from scratch, but what if we already have a bunch of junk piled up in our storage spaces? That's good news, too. Let me explain. So, anytime you walk into now any of your storage spaces, overwhelming spaces, this is the mindset shift that I want you to have. "Wow, this is so cool. Everything's been time-tested in here." Not "I'm a loser. I suck at life. Oh, how did I let this space get this way again?" No, I have really good data to work with. Have I come looking for any of this stuff? Did I miss it? Did I forget that it existed? Has it timed out? A lot of the stuff that we put into our storage spaces is simply because we just don't know. You don't know if you're going to need it in the future or not. But now time has gone by and you can see did you reach for it? Did you need it? Did you forget that you had it?

So also on our uh last all day clutter, we were going through um just I had some boxes that I brought over from my other house and I came across these bookends. Aren't they good-looking bookends? They're weighty, too. They're just from Target. I don't know, whatever brand, but I had them for a while in my office and I really liked them. However, when I moved in here, I have just a few pieces that just really make my heart happy. One is my uh my little puppy salt and pepper shakers. I don't know, they just make me so happy. I've also I was able to get some of my Grandma Bev's Corelle uh drinking glasses. She passed away a year ago, but my aunt gave her some of her glasses when I said I want like unique glasses. So, I have my Grandma Bev's glasses. And then I also found the pattern at Goodwill that my grandma Adeline had had. And so those just make me so happy when I see them. And then these bookends. You might see a dog theme. I don't know. But these just made my heart so happy, too. So I and I love it. And they still when I see them, I'm like, "This is awesome." Right? So when I came across these, though, what was my brain's initial thought? "Oh, where could I put those? What could I do with them? I somehow need to use them to make good on this." Right? Our brain when we hold something up and see it. Do you need something, buddy? >> Yes. >> Okay. >> You have Legos over there? All right. You getting more Legos out? >> Okay. They were looking for more Legos. Um, it wasn't. It was actually amazing how quickly we could look through everything in this area real quick. I really didn't think they were down here cuz I've been through it all recently. Turns out they were in their bedroom um in a tote up there. So, anyways, we found them and they're going to play with Legos. If you want, I can rant on Legos at the end and the best way to contain them and organize them and whatnot. But I. Where were we? Darn it. Shoot. Oh, bookends.

So, we've come to our storage space. We've said, "Good news. This has been time-tested." One of the best like time testing rules. If I hold it up and I think, "I totally forgot those existed." Which is exactly what happened when I held these up. I was like, "Oh, right. I forgot about those." But instead of then my brain saying, "Oh, great. They've been time-tested. If I needed bookends, I it wouldn't even have occurred to me that they were down here." That's one of Dana's rules, you know, like would it even occur to you that you had them? No. So, it's very solid data. I forgot they existed. I wouldn't have come looking for them and I don't need them. So, this is what frustrates me. It should be a very clear decision to get rid of these, right? Check, check, check. Like, I don't need them. Like, it's pretty clear, Don. Like if you had to defend these in a court of law, make us believe you need these bookends. I'd be like, "I can't do it. I can't do it." Right? Except for what does my brain start thinking? "Well, you spent money on it. They're really good, heavy. They're cute. I still think they're cute." Right? So, how else could you use these or make good on this purchase? I could see if Adeline wants them. I could see if my sister wants them. Maybe my mom wants them. Um, is there a way I could sell them? Would it be worth putting on marketplace? No, probably not. Um, like what else? Should I just keep them for a little longer? We don't totally have the house set up. What if I would? And that's where my brain goes. And that's probably where your brain goes, too. Isn't that so frustrating? Like, logically, I'm like, "Get rid of the stupid bookends. Get rid of them. You're not even going to miss them." But my brain goes into hyperutilitarian mode of, "But what if."

All right. So, I get it. I get it. Like, I fully understand. And what's so exhausting? It's not just one thing that I just spiraled my whole brain through. It's every stinking thing that's in our storage space. So, this is where we need to have really good data to work with. If these are in a box and they are labeled with the date on it, it does become easier for my brain to part with them. Especially if I've started to declutter other areas of the house, I'm experiencing the freedom. Even as I describe that whole spiral, it's pretty quick for me to get past that. My brain still goes there, but I can catch it pretty quick and be like, "Don't you don't need them." And also, I ask myself now, like, this is a new question I ask myself is, but what am I trading these for? I could keep these. I have tons. I have tons of storage space here. I could keep these, but what am I trading it for? I'm trading it for a house that is so easy to take care of right now. Again, boys looking for extra Legos. Did you see how quickly it we went through all these and like, "Nope, not down here." Okay. I mean, we found them in less than 5 minutes. So, I am trading these for a house that is super easy to manage and a storage space that's really easy to manage. We're going to fully, you know, get this all set up and I'm really excited about it because when I do need something, I'm going to be able to find it. Also, when my house is in order, my storage spaces are in order, I don't re-buy stuff that I know I have, but I can't find it. It's easier to involve my kids with helping around the house. There are just so many benefits and you know that and that's why you're here and that's why we spend time together. There's so many benefits to having my house highly simplified and decluttered. These aren't worth it to lose that peace that I have right now. So again, I understand the resistance your brain is going to put up with this kind of stuff. But as we keep working through it, as we keep reminding ourselves and as we look at time testing and and really trying to every time we come to a space like this say good news, it's been time-tested rather than "I suck at life." Right? It really. I'm telling you it really does make a huge difference.

Okay, but now let's talk about actually making the decision on the item. So we've time-tested it. A few months have passed and now you come across the item again. How do you know if it's time to let it go? I think it's really important to remember this. None of us can predict the future. And so all we're ever doing is making educated guesses at what we will need down the road. And so we just want to look at it. Have I used it in the past year? Do I know for sure that I'll use it in the upcoming year? If I didn't have this item, what would I use instead? Did I forget again that I actually even have it? Would my home feel lighter and easier if I wasn't managing this type of inventory anymore? Am I keeping it for just in case? Could I replace it for under $20 and in 20 minutes? So many of these items, it's actually very inconsequential. We actually will never think about it again once it's gone. But it's important to remember that a good decision doesn't mean a perfect decision. All we can do is use the information that we have at the time. And also keep the goal in mind. For most of us, the goal isn't to make perfect decluttering decisions. The goal is to have a peaceful home that's easy to manage so you can spend your precious time and energy on things that matter most.

Okay, but what if you're like, "I'm tracking with you, but legit, Don, I cannot even walk into my storage space right now. It is so over the top cluttered. How can I be strategically time testing things in here?" Absolutely. Uh, just so you know, that happens to a lot of us. You're not special. Like, that is just a symptom of the world we live in right now where stuff is so easy to get. And then our prehistoric brains that are like, "Keep it, keep it, keep it. You might need it someday, right?" Like hoard, stock up for lean times, right? So, totally normal that most of us have found our ourselves with storage spaces that are just like jam-packed full. So, what we like to say is start on the floor at the door. We have to free up some space so we can walk into the room. And from the outside when you look in, it's all going to feel hard. Uh, it's our brain hates mishmash. You've probably heard me say this, our brain hates mishmash. So when you stand at the door and look in, your brain is just like, "I can't categorize that." Your brain works in categories. I don't know. And so it just puts it into the category of everything is a hard decision in there that it like that's why it's in there, right? If you if it was an easy decision, you wouldn't have shoved it in there. So that means everything in there, a decision needs to be made about that. And our brain is like, decisions take brain energy. I'm trying to conserve energy. Shut the door. So please hear me. Nothing wrong with you. Start at the door on the floor and start looking around. Refamiliarize yourself with what's in there. You will find easy decisions. It all feels hard at the door, but you will start to be like, "Oh, there's that box of the TV that we actually sold on marketplace and don't even have anymore." Or, "There's some big toys of my kids that they don't play with anymore." And now that you have this mindset of time testing, too, there'll probably be a few things that jump out of you like, "Yep, time-tested. I don't need it anymore." And so we start to make some room on the floor so we can actually walk into the space. And then we just start looking for like, okay, I need some big wins in here. How can I get a few big wins to really free up some space?

Now, once you can move around in this space, you got a little bit more room. Then we start to categorize the stuff in there. And so we want to put all the holiday decor together, all the home decor together, all the old kids toys over here, all the kid all the old baby clothing over here. Because just going through and holding up each item one by one, our brain needs a framework. It needs a point of reference to make a decision. And so we want to first categorize it, get all the home decor together, and then when it's into one category, now when I go through that category, it's easier to make a decision. And Dana will often use the example of like pots and pans. Well, unless I get all the kitchen stuff together, if I just hold up one pan, it's actually very difficult to make a decision. Do I need that as a backup? Will I use that someday? Will I put it in my camper? You know, whatever. But if I can see all of it together and be like, "Oh, I actually have three extra pans in here. I'm going to pick out the one that is in the best shape and the other ones I'm going to donate or toss." And so when we categorize stuff together, then our brain is like, "Okay, I can deal with this." All right, so that's actually a very important step.

Now, I said I would talk about Legos, too, because sometimes what happens is if our kids really enjoy something or we really enjoy something, we think, "Oh, I should keep all the inventory then in that category." And so, my boys love Legos. The girls were into them a little bit, but mostly the boys. If we could add up all of the hours that they have played Legos, um, I mean, it would be thousands and thousands of hours. That would be the number one thing that they have done in their life. And so it is something that they love. They have gotten lots of gifts. They have used their own money to buy Legos. But I realized early on that they can't manage a lot of Lego inventory. And that's fair. They were young. They're little. Kids aren't good at managing inventory. And so I would systematically move Legos out. And so we always had some like small bins in the co on like under the coffee table. And so as they would fill up, I would like pull out any like really special pieces, you know, the wheels are always a hot commodity, any characters, other things that they really liked. And I would take the bin and I would either put it into another like dump it into another bin or like a bag of some sort. But I would move a bunch of the Legos out, put the bin back with some pieces in it, and then over time it would just start to fill up again. And I realized that when they had a lot of Lego inventory, they didn't play as much with it. They didn't enjoy it as much. Kids don't need a lot to work with. In fact, uh Andy, one of our body doubling coaches, she said this the other day. She's like, "Creativity works the best in within constraints when they don't have as much stuff to work with. We think, oh, I know for them to be occupied for hours, they need a lot. And then they're going to build these like cool big things." No, the opposite is true. They didn't need a lot of Legos to occupy their time for hours and hours. And so I was always just systematically moving them out. I would put them in their closet in their bedroom out of reach and we would just time test them. Same thing that we're talking about today. And then over time I'd feel comfortable. Okay, I threw them in the garbage. Okay, I know. Like you can unfollow me. It's fine. We could you can sell them on marketplace. You can donate them. Whatever. The world is not lacking for Legos, right? But that's not the point. The point is, they didn't need all the Legos in order to really enjoy Legos. So, I would encourage you to systematically move some of the inventory out. You can tell your kids, "Hey, we're just time testing it. Hey, you know what? I noticed inventory creeping up and you're not doing a good job picking it up and managing it and whatnot. So, we're just putting some in this bin and setting it aside. If you want a few pieces out of it, let me know." So, there's ways we can go about doing it, but kids need limits. And I know some when they make their creations, they want to store them and keep all of them. And again, I hope you can see how this can apply to other categories of things, too, but they still need limits. So, saying something like, "Okay, you can keep all the Lego creations that fit on this shelf or fit on top of your dresser or fit in these cubbies here, and then if you get a new one, super cool, but we're going to move out an old one. We're going to put it into a bin of Lego creations. We're going to time test it." And you're teaching your kids really valuable skills. Now, this might be something you have to practice. It might take a few rounds. I don't generally like it when someone says, "Well, we tried that once and it didn't work." Okay, maybe try it again, right? And again, and this is exactly what we do inside of our membership community. This we go through it again. You know, I know it's just a matter of a couple months and we'll be back to storage spaces and I'll come across these handles again. I'll be like, "Okay, now I feel confident letting them go." Right? And so we we do this and we practice this together over and over again.

And by the way, if you're just feeling stressed, burnt out, overwhelmed, you're like, "I know I need to get my house decluttered, but like for reals, I just don't have the energy to put into it right now." May I please come alongside you and help you? We have been running our membership group now for 6 years. I promise you, I have this dialed in. Even as we've been putting together the schedule for Clutter Camp, it's 3 months. Give me 90 days. Your house will be radically different at the end of it. I know how to help you. I'm not good at a lot of things, but I can help you declutter your house and I want it for you. You don't understand the stress you're living with inside of a cluttered home. The world is legit off the hook right now, right? It is so overstimulating and overwhelming. We all need a peaceful place to come home to. You deserve that. Your kids deserve that. Your spouse or partner deserves that. Your dogs deserve that. Right? They're picking up on your stress bubbles. Everyone will thrive in this highly simplified home. And so I I want that for you so badly because I've experienced it and it is so good. So you give me 3 months. Full money back if it doesn't work, whatever. I believe in this so much. I will give you your money back if it doesn't radically change your home. I'll take all the risk on. That's fine because I believe in this so much. Now I sound like an infomercial. Okay, I'll stop now. May we please help you? There's nothing wrong with needing a coach and some fun teammates around you. We have a blast in there, too, by the way. All right, I'll stop now.

I do have a playlist of long format decluttering videos that can be helpful to put on in the background. So, I'm going to link to that. And also the easy line in the kitchen. Kitchens are so important to get decluttered. It actually causes us to waste a lot of money groceries and eating out when our kitchen isn't streamlined. So, I'll link to that video as well. But, I love you. I hope you have a really good day and I'll see you again.