Living Single I Robert Madu I Social Dallas

Are you thankful that His presence is here? It's amazing to see what God is doing, to see our church, you know, filled with people. To be honest, we never prayed that God would send thousands of people. We prayed that His presence would show up when we gather. We are a house of presence. We're a house of prayer. We're a house for people. And I don't ever take for granted that you are here today. Our social Global family is watching from around the world. We love you so much. I'm praying you're sensing at home or wherever you're watching from, you're sensing God's presence here. And, uh, God is doing great things. I want to shout out everybody that's watching this message on the Pando app. All our brothers and sisters who are incarcerated. We love you. You're a part of this family. And I am ready to preach if you're ready to hear it. Are you? Five of y'all are ready? I'm still going to preach anyway.

We're in a series called "How to Love." We're talking about relationships, relationships. And as the great theologian Howard Thurman said, that there are two important questions everyone must ask themselves: Number one, where am I going? Number two, who will go with me? Who will go with me? Relationships are the currency of life. We've got to learn how to do them, not the way the culture has designed it, but the way the one who is love personified defines it. So, we're calling the series "How to Love." Preached last week, uh, on "Do You Love You?" Ain't no need and you tell them you love me if you don't love you. And if you haven't watched that message, get on YouTube and watch it. Like, share, and subscribe. This is part two. Are you ready for it? But before we get into part two, let's read our verse of the year that has our word of the year. Come on, Unshakable Church. Hebrews 12:28 and 29. Let's read it together as one big family, one big mass choir. It says, "Do you see what we have and unshakeable kingdom? And do you see how thankful we must be? Not only thankful, but brimming with worship, deeply reverent before God. For God is not an indifferent bystander. He's actively cleaning house, torching all that needs to burn, and He won't quit until it's all cleansed. God Himself is fire." Oh, y'all get better every single week. So good.

And then the text from which we will extract our thought today: First Corinthians chapter number 7, starting at verse number 7. This is the Apostle Paul writing. And look at what he has the nerve, the audacity, and the unmitigated gall to say in verse 7. He says, "But I wish everyone were single, just as I am." Somebody mad right now, talking about, "Uh, this word ain't for me. I rebuke that wish." He says, "Yet each person has a special gift from God of one kind or another." So, I say to those who aren't married and to widows, "It is better to stay unmarried, just as I am." But everybody say, "But." "But if they can't control themselves, they should go ahead and marry. It's better to marry than to burn with lust." Verse 32: "I want you to be free from the concerns of this life. An unmarried man can spend his time doing the Lord's work and thinking how to please Him. But a married man has to think about his earthly responsibilities and how to please his wife. His interests are divided." In the same way, "A woman who is no longer married or has never been married can be devoted to the Lord and holy in body and in spirit. But a married woman has to think about her earthly responsibilities and how to please her husband." "I am saying this for your benefit, not to place restrictions on you. I want you to do whatever will help you serve the Lord best with as few distractions as possible." Can you say amen? That's a good, good verse.

I, I want to preach, teach, encourage, empower, exhort you today, probably for about two and a half hours, uh, using this as a title: "Living Single." Living Single. I want you to look at your neighbor, whichever one you like the best, and just say, "Oh, neighbor, oh, neighbor, I want to know if you're living, if you're living single, single." Come on, find another neighbor, your second option. Come on, say, "Other neighbor, neighbor, did you know, did you know it is possible, it is possible to be living, to be living single, single?" If you expect God to speak to you, would you give Him some praise up in here? Woo! Father, speak to us today. Have Your way. Amen. You can sit down, chillax.

Living Single. Social fam, I think the second message or installment in this relationship series requires us to take a relationship status survey real quick. So, if you could just, just indulge me, I, I need to know this information and I need 100% participation, okay? Uh, all the married people in the house, if you're married, would you make some noise? All the married people. All, you know, I'm judging the health of your marriage by the decibel of your screen. All y'all who are like, "How many of you are engaged?" All my engaged people, let me see. Engage, engage. Come on, that's what I'm talking about. I'm glad you did that. Y'all missed it. She stood up and she said, "Let me just throw this out since we in the series." The engagement only counts if he actually bought the ring. I say that 'cause I don't know how many ladies I've talked to said, "No, he's about to, like, no, he told me two years ago that he knows where it is and it's coming." So, I'm technically engaged. Boo boo, if he ain't bought it, you're not engaged. How many of you, uh, how many of you, um, are in a relationship right now? You're in a relationship. Can I see where you are? Come on, make some noise. In a relationship. I love it. I love it. 'Cause I messed up somebody's lunch right there. Soon as you get in the car, see, we haven't defined the relationship. I didn't know what to do in service when he said, "What are we?" And how many of you, how many of you are single? All my, all right, all right, all right. My Lord. Okay, those of you who just lost your mind, those of you who just made some noise saying, "Yes, I'm single," or those of you who are single but, to be honest, you are so sick of your singleness being acknowledged publicly that you chose to skip out on the survey and you're low-key annoyed right now. I want you to know that today's message is for you. Today's message is solely and strictly for you. I want to talk about "Living Single." Living Single.

According to the US Census Bureau, 45% of adults over the age of 18 are single. 28% of households in our country right now are single-occupant households. And judging off of the scream I just heard, 97.3% of our church, church is single. Now, to those of you who are married, all my married people, don't you dare check out. Don't you dare leave the building. I am watching you right now. Here's why you can't leave. First of all, uh, you got to come back next week 'cause I'm bringing in a relationship expert who's going to help everybody, but especially the married people. Next week, the week after that, myself and PT are going to tag team preach and we're going to give you everything I got. So, married people, don't you leave. Don't you check out. 'Cause to be honest, some of you are going to get more out of this message than the single people, right? 'Cause some of you, this is the message that you are going to wish you would have heard before you said, "I do." And let's be honest, 'cause that's all I know how to be. If we're really honest, some of you are married, but you are living single. And you're about to be single if you keep living single.

But to those of you who are single and you're believing for a spouse, or you're single and you're satisfied and content to stay that way, or you just got out of a serious relationship with who you thought was the one, and now you find yourself single, or whether you've experienced the death of a spouse or the other D-word, divorce, which, to be honest, might be even more painful. Never forget, talking to somebody who went through both, they lost a spouse and went through a divorce and said, "In many ways, the divorce was more painful than losing the spouse." Because at least when I lost the spouse, I had closure. It came to an end. But divorce is the death that every time you see them again, it is a resurrection, and you have to keep living the pain over and over and over again. For whatever you're re-, whatever reason you're living single today, here's what I want you to know: This message is for you. And I want to start off this message by issuing an apology. Yes, an apology on behalf of the capital C Church, because the church has not done a very good job in talking about being single. I thought I could get a whole lot more amens right there. The church has not done the best job in talking about being single or ministering to singles. As a matter of fact, we're always talking about marriage to the point that we have elevated marriage to the place that it feels like if you're single, you got some type of disease or you're a second-class citizen. Isn't it funny how we got all kinds of marriage classes and marriage resources, but nobody talks about what it's like to be living single? And I want to let you know today, I feel you. 'Cause I talked to some single people before I did this message, and I know the pain that you have to walk through, especially from married people and even church people, when you are hit with insulting questions like, "You still ain't married?" "Yeah, what's wrong?" "How come you ain't found anyone?" "Ain't your church called Social? You ain't socializing with nobody?" "When am I going to have some grandkids?" "You know, I ain't getting any older." As if to say the highest priority of a believer is to get married. Can I just say this in this church today? That is not the highest priority of a believer to get married. That is not the ultimate goal. I'm sorry to break it to you. Marriage is not the Hokey Pokey. That is not what it's all about. There are other things. Some of y'all get that tomorrow. The highest priority of a believer is to know Christ. Not necessarily getting married. Marriage is wonderful. It is beautiful. But that's not the highest goal. The highest goal is to know Christ, to know Him deeper, and to know Him intimately. And as you know Him, allow His love to fill you up to the point that it overflows to other relationships. That's why it was, "Oh, excuse me, a single who wrote all that? 'May I know Him in the fellowship of His suffering and in the power of His resurrection.'" Can I tell you, don't you ever downplay or downgrade the power of a single person who's being devoted to God? Your New Testament was written by a dude by the name of the Apostle Paul, who was single and he was on purpose and he was on mission. As a matter of fact, don't ever forget that when Jesus got ready to be baptized in the Jordan River, it was a single by the name of John the Baptist who pointed Him out in a crowd and said, "Behold the Lamb of God that takes away the the sins of the world. I am not even worthy to touch His sandals. He's going to baptize you. I'm going to baptize you with water, but He's going to baptize you with fire and with the Holy Ghost." John the Baptist was a single. How many you know it was a single by the name of Nehemiah who was faithful in being a cupbearer, and God used him to rebuild the walls of Jerusalem? It was a single that when God got ready to send revival to Samaria, He sat on a well and waited for a single sister, sister who went through five jacked-up, broke, busted, and disgusted dudes and was living with one who wouldn't put a ring on it. And Jesus comes to a single sister in Samaria and says, "Guess what? I'm man number seven, girl. I'm the one that's going to complete you. I'm the one you actually been waiting for." Don't you ever downplay what God can do with a single. It was a single sister by the name of Martha that whenever Jesus went to Bethany and He needed a house to chillax in, 'cause ministry will get on your last nerves, it was a single sister Martha who is the original I.N.D.E.P.E.N.D.E.N.T. Do you know what that means? She had her own house. She had her own crib. And Jesus could relax over a sister who said, "I ain't waiting for a man to have a great fight, go score in a house. I got my own. Jesus, you can come in here." It was four singles who grew up in Babylon, and when Nebuchadnezzar tried to get them to bow down to a golden image, it was three singles: Shadrach, Meshach, and Abednego, said, "All y'all can can bow down, but not me. I know the God that I serve." And as they stood up, that God met them in the fire. It was a single named Daniel that God used to give access to different kings and people in administration. It was singles that God used in powerful ways throughout your Bible. I feel like I'm missing somebody. Oh, yeah. Whenever God got ready to do the greatest rescue mission on Earth, and He needed one person to redeem us from our sin and break us free from the curse of sin, it was a single man named Jesus, who lived 33 perfect years and died the death that we were supposed to die. Thank God for one single who was on mission. If He wasn't on mission, you would have been stuck in your sin. So, I want to thank God for the ultimate, the supreme, the sovereign, the sufficient single named Jesus. Oh, somebody needs to take a praise break right there that Jesus was a single man, woah, on His mission. Don't you ever downplay or disregard the power of a single person that is devoted to the call, the mission, and the purpose of God on their life. As a matter of fact, I, I got to do my own repenting because we, we say stuff in church. Don't get me wrong, marriage is beautiful, but we say things like, "You know, marriage is the cornerstone and the bedrock of civilization." Not really. If you back that thing up biblically to Genesis, God did not start humanity with Adam and Eve. If marriage is the goal, and I love marriage, if that's the ultimate goal, I am fully convinced humanity would have started day one, Adam and Eve. But yet, God, in His sovereignty, His wisdom, and His intellect, said, "No, Adam first, then the woman." That every single person must have a season of singleness because there's something that God wants to accomplish in your season of singleness that if you don't get that right, none of your relationships will work. No wonder we keep having marriages that fall apart. No wonder the divorce rate is 50% and climbing. It's because nobody has ever understood what is the purpose of the single season that everybody must go through. Hear me, you were born single. And when you get to heaven, it will not be you and your spouse that faces a righteous God. It will be you as a single, as an individual. And we've got to learn what does God want to do in the single season.

Look at, look at God in the garden. Creates Adam first, and then gives him a job. Hello? Before the lady comes, here's your job. I want you to name every animal in the animal kingdom. Now, think about this, y'all. This is how I think. Every animal is my job to come up with a name. Y'all, how long was this dude naming stuff? I mean, come on. Just think about that. He's got to name all these animals. This is his assignment. Hear me. He's in relationship with God. He has God, and now he has a purpose. And the purpose is start naming. And how long was Adam waiting? I'm trying to help some of y'all. Like, you don't understand. Like, the clock is ticking. I'm 23. How long is Adam in this season of orangutan, [Applause] cow? You know, you know, probably started with them big words like, uh, R, like cat, dog, naming all these different animals. And just, just the way my mind works, I, I bet, I bet God was trying to say, "Are you going to call an animal your spouse?" 'Cause it's a dangerous thing when God has an animal and you call it a spouse. I'm not trying to hurt your feelings, but you understand that it is possible to function like an animal. All animals know is appetite and instinct. If I feel it, I do it. If I scratch, I itch. If I'm hungry, I eat. That's all animals know is instinct. I feel it, I do it. It is humans that have the power to tap into delayed [Applause] gratification. Come here, Paul. Love is when we get the litany of things. Love is, what's the first one? Love is, wait for it, patient. That is a human thing to be able to wait. And God takes him through a season of waiting and waiting. And once Adam, who is chasing God, who has purpose, then God says, "It is not good for that man to be alone." Not any man, not any person. A man who is in relationship with God and has found his purpose. It is not good for that single person to be alone. Stop messing with people that don't have relationship with God and don't know the divine assignment God has put on their life. They need to be alone. Oh, God. Somebody that is a relationship, passionately pursuing God and has found their purpose, it's not good for that person to be alone. However, everybody must go through something in a season of singleness. The message I come to bring to you today is very simple. I want to make sure that you are living single, not frustrated single, not complaining single, but living single. Jesus said, "I come that you might have life and life more abundantly." And I want to be very sensitive and understand that, yes, you can have a longing for your spouse, but some of you have allowed the longing to destroy your living. And so now you feel like, "I'm just half of a person." There's no such thing as somebody that can complete you. You are not half of a person. You are a whole person. And the more you can get whole, the healthier your relationship will be. Because healthy marriages are two healthy individuals that have come together. Your brokenness and my brokenness coming together is not going to make us whole. So why don't you do the work in this beautiful season of singleness? Living, living single.

Now, I know who you are, and I can hear the critics in the room going, "Here we go. Another married person trying to tell us single people how to live and what we supposed to do in our single season." I, I hear you. I hear you. I know what you're saying. And I will admit, I am married. I am married, and I'm happily married to the finest woman in the world. That girl right there, y'all, 12 years this year. Double digits on the board. And been through some stuff. Ride or die. Our first date was Valentine's Day, February 2007. See how nervous I got? 'Cause I had a brain fart. I, I love marriage. Have a great marriage. But I don't have amnesia. I remember my single season. I remember it's, oh, I remember the struggle. I remember the nights. I remember my single season. But can I be honest? I'll keep it 100. I was fervently chasing after my purpose. God gave me the gift of knowing this, what I'm doing right here. I was put on the earth to do it. And He let me know it at 16 years old. I was chasing after my purpose with everything that was in me. As a matter of fact, I'll give you some advice. The old preacher gave me. I'm giving you all these nuggets. He said this for the single people. He said, "When you are single, you should run as fast as you can towards God. And if somebody keeps up with you, introduce yourself." I'm going to give it to you again 'cause you missed it. Run as fast as you can towards God. And if you notice something, somebody can keep up with you, introduce yourself. Now, I know that seems trite and it seems like an oversimplification, but there is truth in that. You have to know where you're going first, and then who's going with you. I did some, some research and did a survey before I preached this message. And I won't say who, but some of the singles on staff told me, "Well, I'm glad you're asking 'cause you don't understand. It's different today. Dudes are different today. These dusty dudes are different today." He, and we got all these dating apps, and they, they tried to let me know that I can't relate. I can't relate because this is a different day and age in which we live. I said, "Okay, you know what? I'll take that. I can't relate." So, I'm going to stop my part of the sermon right now and I'm going to introduce a, a single to you. A person that can speak as a single to another single. Okay, ladies, don't lose your mind. Uh, very famous single, very famous single is going to speak. So, I'm going to let, I'm going to let him talk to you since I'm a married person. Let me let a single person to you. Uh, let him preach, okay? His name, uh, is Paul. Look at how y'all got excited. Some of y'all like, "Ooh, Pastor, no, you didn't. Michael B. Jordan about to come out." I saw y'all's face. Where he at? Paul. Paul. That's all. Paul. Paul is single. Paul is somebody who can speak as a single person to another single person. And don't bypass that. Paul is a Jewish man living in a society, y'all, where they were getting married at like 13 and 15, and Paul is still single. Understand what an anomaly it is for Paul to still be single in this season of his life. You think your auntie and your mama keep talking to you? Can you imagine Paul? Here he is, a Jewish man, still single. They're like, "Paul, when you going to do something with your life? Why you still single?" He's like, "I'm writing Ephesians." That's not enough. Don't anybody tell you that you're not on purpose 'cause you don't have a partner. Paul can relate to you. He's single in an age where most people would not have been single.

Now, let's look at who he's writing to. In the letter that we read, this is the letter to the church at Corinth. Y'all, the most dysfunctional, ratchet, messed-up church that had crazy backgrounds. Y'all, they were coming out of orgies and now they've come into relationship with Jesus. They're getting drunk onto communion wine. And Paul is trying to give them order and structure, saying, "Hey, uh, your behavior has got to change now that you come into alignment with who Jesus is." And he writes two letters to them, first and second Corinthians, trying to bring order and structure to them. But I love when we get to 1 Corinthians chapter 7 because they ask Paul some questions, and Paul gives answers to their questions. You can tell when you read the first verse, uh, in Corinthians chapter 7, that they went straight, straight for sex. That's what they want to know. What, what, what do we do about that? Paul, what about that? And Paul goes on, he starts talking about the context for that. Y'all ain't going to like that 'cause context matters. The context of something matters. He says, "Yes, that there is a context for sex, and that is in covenant, in marriage, between a man and a woman." Because it makes no sense for me to be intimate with you and give you all of me physically, but have no other intimacy in our life. We must be wholly connected and wholly intimate. He starts talking to husbands and wives and lets them know, uh, sister girl that's married, you must yield the authority of your body to your husband. And brother man, you must yield the authority of your body to your wife. Which all the fellas said, "I ain't got no problem yielding, bro. I ain't got no problem yielding." You laugh, but you see the married couples that don't have intimacy. See, this is the challenge that I face. 'Cause all the married people, the enemy is trying to stop you from being intimate. And all the people who aren't married are single, he's trying to get you to just throw it out like a frisbee to whoever. And I say that to say, sometimes, oh, don't miss this, it is the attack of the enemy that lets you become aware of God's intent. The enemy's attack makes you aware of God's intent. I know why the enemy is attacking gender and identity because he understands God's original intent: male and female, He created them in His image. I look at the attack, and the attack actually gives me a blue clue to God's original intent. So I know why He doesn't want married people to get intimate because He knows the power of that space and that worship between a man and a woman who are in covenant with each other. And I know why He wants a single person to say, "If you feel it, do it," because His attack actually shows me God's original intent.

So Paul starts to bringing order to this. But I want you to see what he says in verse number 7. He says, "But I wish everyone was single, just as I am. Yet each person has a special..." Huh, huh. Yes, a special what? Yes. Paul says, "Don't miss this. Singleness is a gift." Paul right here says, "I, I know y'all know marriage is a gift, but please don't miss your single season. Singleness is a gift." That word "gift" in the Greek is *charisma*. Charisma. Charisma. Charisma. What, what the young people say they got? Ribs? That's how I know I'm getting old. What do young people say they got? Ribs? Is charisma in Greek is where we get the English word "charismatic." It's a spark, it's a drive, it's a passion to do something. But it also comes from the root word *charis*, which means grace. It's a calling and an ability to participate in God's kingdom in a special and unique way. Y'all, it is an empowerment. Paul says that if you are single, that season of being single, no matter how long it is, it is a gift that God has graced you for. It's a gift. All the single people say, "It's a gift." It's a gift. Now, here's why that hurt to say that 'cause you like, "Like, is it really though? Is it really a gift? And if it is, can I return it? What's the return policy on this gift?" And let me tell you why perhaps you don't see it as a gift. Here's what I've learned about gifts: Sometimes the recipient or the carrier of the gift doesn't understand the value of what they have. Sometimes the carrier or the recipient of a gift has no clue what they're holding. That's why I love these little shows. Uh, I don't watch them all the time, but if I ever catch one on PBS, you know, the little shows where they like, take something and they take it to an appraiser to see how much it really costs. How, I don't know why those shows get me. It gets because it's always like some little rusty, crusty brooch or something. It's like, "Yeah, my grandmama gave this to me." And they just take it in, just to see, just to see it. And they take it to the first person, and they look, and they look, and you know it's legit when they call the second person from the back. 'Cause the second person from the back will come out, and he got a whole eye instrument, and he's like, "Let me see it. Let me see it. Let me see it. Let me see it. Let me see it. Let me see it." And you know what's crazy? When we start asking questions, "Where did you say you got this? What year?" And all of a sudden, you realize that something that was dusty, something that was just laying around in a drawer is worth millions of dollars. And you see it hit the person's face like, "The whole time that was worth that and I didn't even know it." See, when you don't know the value of something, you don't know how to treat it. And this is why I'm believing God to do supernatural surgery on your mind so you know the value of who you were and you won't keep discounting who you are to other people who don't know the full appraisal value of who you are. So you won't just be hooking up and sleeping with anybody. And people that don't know the value of who you are. That's why Paul said, "Do you not know that your body is the temple of the Holy Spirit?" There is no such thing as casual sex. Something happens when you come together with somebody else. Do you know the value of what you have and how you carry it? Sometimes people don't know the value of what they have. And sometimes you don't know the value of a gift until later on.

Now, we, we got three little humans who are here. Um, three little humans. Uh, I've told you this before. Um, three beautiful little mocha babies. And, um, whenever, whenever they got birthday or Christmas, we get them a gift. We get them a gift. And often we get them the gift that on their list. Not everything, because I'm not trying to raise a spoiled brat. You know, just a few of the things, few of the things on their list. You know, it's the typical thing. They're nine, eight, and five. So, it's Barbies. Uh, my son's in the Legos right now. So, I get them the gifts that are on their list. Sometimes I get my son, especially, some gifts that's not even on his list because he needs to know what he needs to have. Like Jordans. I got this boy all kinds of Jordans. That's me in my house. You will not wear Sketchers. He got, I don't know what scripture that is, but it's for me. And so I get him Jordans. I get him Jordans. He's never asked for Jordans, but I just get him Jordans 'cause he needs to know, uh, what should be on his feet. But, but it's interesting. It's interesting that whenever they get a gift, whenever they get a gift that's on their list, they go crazy. They lose their mind. "Oh, the Barbie! Oh, the Legos!" So excited. Now, my father, who is here, he gets them a gift, but it's a different type of gift. Different type of gift. Because he is the most frugal and fiscally responsible Nigerian that I know. And so he'll make fun of us. He said, "You, you go ahead and spend your money on the Jordans, okay? Go ahead and get Barbie. I am going to take care of their portfolio." Okay? My kids, I ain't lying, have stock in Ford, in Home Depot, and Apple. Y'all clapping. I ain't put nothing in it. That's that man right there. Now, here's what's crazy. If you go to Evie, Remy, or Robert, you know, the third, and say, "You just got some Ford stock?" "Huh? No." "Like, later, it's going to be good." Not only they going to be offended, they going to be mad because they don't understand or comprehend the value of the gift. But on that 18th birthday, they ain't going to be thinking about the Barbie. They ain't going to be thinking about the Legos. When they see what their financial portfolio is at 18, they ain't going to be praising God for me. They going to praise God for Papa, who had a vision for a gift that you don't see the value or comprehend. Now, God help me preach. But later, you get a revelation of the value of what you have. Oh, I need somebody that needs to understand there is a value to celibacy. There is a value to doing things the way that God said it. And you might not see it right now. You might laugh right now. But later, when I'm not going to STV, later, when my marriage is still together, that's when you're going to see the value of the gift. Turn up if you want to keep raising your body count. If you want [Applause] to. I'm looking for the future me who's not trying to have multiple women, but trying to have the different versions of one woman that I've been faithful to. You take the plastic toys if you want. I'll take the stock that's going to appreciate in value. You, oh, are y'all recording this? I'm going to watch it later. This is good. Why did nobody preach this to me when I was single? Sometimes you don't know the value of the gift that you have. Single people, hear me. Hear me. Singleness is a gift. Married people, hear me. Marriage is a gift. And here's why you roll your eyes when I say that. It's because you can't get excited about the gift. And here's why? 'Cause you're sad. You're sad about the gift. Sad, sad. It's a gift. Yeah, not my sickness. I'm sad. This marriage is a gift. No, no. I'm sad 'cause that's the point of marriage, right? To make me happy. And I'm just, I'm not, I'm not happy anymore. That's why I got it to this. For happiness. So I'm sad. I think we should part ways. Why? "And not happy." "I don't feel it." Is that the, what scripture says that marriage is about your happiness? Or is it actually supposed to make you more of an image bearer of who God is? Is it supposed to make me happy or more holy? 'Cause you can't hide the real you from your spouse. [Applause] But I'm sad. Sadness. What is sad? Here's SAD: Sad stands for Seasonal Affective Disorder. Seasonal Affective Disorder. You can do your due diligence. That is a real disease. And it is when there is an intense depression based off the season, based off the seasons, places, and climates where there's not a lot of sunlight. Shout out, Social Global Seattle. That's why they have Seasonal Affective Disorder because they don't have sunlight. There's, there's this intense depression. The enemy loves to make you sad with Seasonal Affective Disorder. But he doesn't change the climate. He ain't got power like that. Here's what he does. He wants you to see the burden of a season so that you'll be blinded by the benefits of the season. That's how the enemy does. Then, in whatever season you're in, the season of singleness or the season of marriage, he wants you to only see. And he will highlight the burdens of the season, and you'll miss the benefits of the season. Y'all, what annoys me is he don't even get new tricks. He does the same thing. He runs the same play. He did it in the Garden of Eden. He blinded them to all the trees they could eat, but honed in their focus on the one tree they couldn't touch. So, single people, help with the media and things you watch. All he is showing you is the burden of your single season. Yeah, this is wedding number 23 for me. I'm a bridesmaid again. Can't believe it. I'm sad. Sad. Always a bridesmaid, never a bride. Can't even watch the Super Bowl. Oh, oh, yeah. Can't even get an usher at church to look at me. I'm sad. Now, Travis and Taylor, I wish I had what they have. I don't have that. Do you? No me neither. I'm sad. Now, you're watching The Bachelor, eating ice cream. Yeah. I didn't get a rose this Valentine's Day. Not one. [Applause] Rose. Not seeing the benefit of the season that you have more freedom right now than you will ever have in your, in your entire life. Y'all think I can preach now? Y'all, when I was single, and I really had time to study. It trips me out. The single people that have, have you seen this show on Netflix? Have you seen what? Where do I have six hours in my day to watch anything? I watch Migration this, this Friday night. Some of y'all don't even know what that is except for the parents. You will never get this season back. Married people, he'll do it to you too. Oh, I don't ever get alone time. Can't believe it. Always that. "Can you get on your side of the bed?" "What is he doing?" He's blinding you to the benefits so you only see the burden. And hear me when I tell you, every season of your life will will have benefits and burdens. And if you don't learn how to be content in every single season, you are going to be frustrated everywhere you go. Nobody can give you contentment. That is an inside job. And you going to go from relationship to relationship. You're going to go from spouse to spouse, going to somebody else to give you what the other person wasn't giving you, only to get that person to realize they ain't giving you what the one before gave you. And now you on marriage number eight. [Applause] And you're sad. Have you ever seen the common denominator in the relationships? Maybe it's not them. It's you. It's you. Every season has a benefit and a burden. Every season has rewards and responsibilities. What are the benefits of your single season? Here it is: You have more time to be devoted to [Applause] God. You see that little pathetic clap? [Applause] Yeah, because we so idolize relationships and marriage that aren't necessary. But y'all read all the scriptures on relationships and marriage. That ain't the whole book. There is a higher purpose. There are actually people who are dying and going to a real hell, and we have idolized the marriage and idolized careers and relationships that we forget that your single season is where you can be fully devoted, fully committed to the purposes of God. Can you prove it in the text? I sure can. Let's go to verse number 32. Are y'all good? Go to verse number 32. Look what Paul says. This is, this is the benefit of the single season. You have full devotion to give to God, and you're not divided. He says, "I want you to be free from the concerns of this life. An unmarried man can spend his time doing what work? Lord's work. And thinking about what? How to please Him." Oh, pause. "An unmarried man can spend his time doing the Lord's work and thinking about how to please Him." All the single ladies, make some noise. The dude that you are looking at, the candidate, does that describe him? It's quiet in this Presbyterian Church. Does that define the single man you are looking to marry? Is he a man who is spending his time doing the Lord's work and thinking about how to please Him? Or is he thinking about how to please something else? Where is his focus? Let me just talk real practically. If you are dating a dude and y'all been talking for a while and you going on a couple dates and he ain't never mentioned anything about God, nothing about scripture, boo boo, that's a red flag. That's not a value or a priority in his life. You naturally talk about the values that you have. You naturally talk about the things that you care about. He ain't said nothing about God. Well, Pastor, that one time he did pray before we ate at Cheesecake Factory. That's it. Well, now he comes to church with me on Easter and on Christmas services. He has shown you what he values. Does that define the person? This was just a question. I digress. Then says, "But a married man." All the married men, make some noise. "Has to think about his earthly responsibilities and how to please his wife." Talk about that some more later. "His interests are are divided." Everybody say, "Divided." Divided. "In the same way, a woman who is no longer married or has never been married can be devoted to the Lord and holy in what? And in what spirit?" Fellas that are single, make some noise. That's all you got. Come on, fellas that are single, make some noise. That's this text generation. They don't even know how to communicate anymore. Can I text the hand clap him? Can I text her dog emoji? Come on. [Applause] Fellas, does this describe? Does this describe the woman you're looking for? Does that describe her? Is she, is she, is she somebody? Yeah. Is she somebody who is devoted to the Lord and holy in body and in spirit? I'm not asking what body parts she shows on her Instagram profile, but then has a scripture at the top. Some guys are like, "Yeah, no, I saw the body and I saw the scripture. I'm with you." Pastor, body and spirit. That's not what I'm talking [Applause] about. Does that define? Does that define who you're dating? I'm trying to save you before you get into it. But if that's what you value, run for it. Do you. But here should be the posture of somebody who is single. You know what the power of being single is? You're always ready. God, whatever You got for me. You will never get this season back. Ever seen somebody on the court and they want to get the ball? Pass the ball to you. Ever see that? Somebody that just wants the ball. That's what you be like a single. Your arms should always be open to the call of God. Like, "God, come on. Come on. Oh, I'm ready. I'm ready, Lord. Whatever you got for me, I'm here. I'm here. God, whatever you want. My hands are open to the call of God." This ball is like the call of God on your life. Your hands as a single person should always be ready. Where you want to go? What? There's a mission trip? Guess what? I ain't got to ask no wife and no kids. I can take a mission trip right now. I got a season where my hands are open. God, I'm available to You. Whatever You want. You have my full focus. You have my full attention. So I can do things I couldn't do when I was married because I'm available. God, put me in the game. I'm serving You. You have my undivided attention. I'm ready. I'm open to whatever You want. Here I am, Lord, use me. The ball is the call. Let me help you. Super safe folks. The ball is the call. And yes, I'm ready. But that don't mean I'm just looking like this. Come on. You still got to look while you dribbling. Oh, where the real single people at that say, "Hey, I got a call of God, but I'm still looking on the court?" That's only a single person. Shout. Don't you shout if you married. You better dribble and be looking 'cause you don't know who God has for [Applause] you. But we become so person-driven, we're not purpose-driven. So since my single season is for me to be undivided, my focus should be here when I'm single. But since we reversed it and now we're divided when we're single, so now we're not looking for the call of God. We're like, "Lord, who she? Where she at? Where she?" Oh, and that's why you got pain. And that's why you had the walk of shame 'cause you weren't looking for the purpose. You were looking for the person. And you feel the pain in your back of the purpose you missed 'cause you were too busy looking for the person. This should be the posture of every single person.

Now, to the married people, and I'm going to ask my beautiful bride to join me and the worship team to join me as I land the plan. Girlfriend said the married man has a different responsibility. He said he's divided. Now, does that mean I'm throwing away the call? No. But, but before you throw it, give me a moment. All right, come on. I've still got the call, but I'm divided. I'm divided. This is not an unhealthy division. This is a beautiful division because this is a call and this is a call. And I got to be able to carry both. If I ever forget this and I'm just focused on this, I've missed the mark. I've missed my married. I missed my call as a married man. Hear me, husband. You give so much devotion to your job, and your family gets the least of you. You show up on time for work, but you can't have a date night. You, you walk in your office when you're not feeling it, and you still run that meeting. But you can't walk in that home when you're not feeling it and still say, "Hey, baby, I love you. I care for you." And not only show it when you want physical intimacy, but give her words of affirmation. These are both calls. And I refuse to turn my back on this to focus on this. That's why.

We take every July off. I'm not about to lose this pastor, and [Applause] y'all, no, no, no, no, no. Y'all don't get another pastor. She can't get another husband. This, this right here isn't me. Y'all can get another pastor. Them kids can't get another [Applause] father. I got to balance the tension of both. And watch this, it ain't just me. Switch it. [Music] Boo, she's got a call too. And when she [Applause] dribbles with the [Applause] nails, I better not see her flowing in her calling as competition. God, give us some secure men who can celebrate when their wives are flowing in their purpose and are intimidated. It's my job to be her biggest supporter and encourage her, 'cause both of us are called.

This is what people don't understand about marriage. It's not just the intimacy. It's not just looking in each other's eyes. That's going to get old. You better have a call. Ladies, don't get with a man that doesn't have a vision of where he's going, and make sure you want to be headed in that vision. She is a helper. There's got to be a vision that she's coming alongside. And we've been doing this a long time, haven't we? Y'all know we play basketball together as kids and didn't even know we were in the same league. Put that picture up. We were on the court together as kids, didn't even know we'd be married. I'm lying. That's not. Oh, I wish I could have let that stay. Some of y'all like, "Oh my gosh, are you serious?" It's loving [Applause] basketball.

Paul says that the married man's responsibility and the married woman's responsibility is to please each other. But when you are single, you've got a beautiful season of having your hands open. And all I'm trying to say is, please don't miss this message. I prayed so hard over this message 'cause I know that it is not easy to be pure, emotions and hormones raging. But can I tell you, it's worth it in the end to know your value? It's worth it. That's good. And here's what I'm praying over you. Let me show you the verse. That's what Paul learned. Philippians chapter 4:12-13. Paul says, "I know what it is to be in need and I know what it is to have plenty. I've learned the secret." Somebody say, "Secret." Secret of being content in any and every situation, whether well-fed or hungry, whether living in plenty or in want. "I can do all things through him who strengthens me." I'm telling you, if you're single, you got strength for that season. Come on. If you're married, you got strength for that season. Don't let the enemy make you walk away from that marriage. Don't let the enemy make you think you have nothing to offer because you're single. You can do all things through Christ who strengthens you. I'm praying that you would find what Paul found, the secret of contentment, to say contentment doesn't come from the outside, it comes from within. And in every season, there's a benefit, and every season there is a burden. Spring is coming up, and I love this season 'cause the flowers are starting to blow. But y'all, my allergies are going to be popping. And I don't say spring is terrible, why? 'Cause of my allergies. No, no, no. I pop some Claritin and I still smell the flowers 'cause every season has a benefit and a burden.

Would you stand to your feet all over this place today? I'm going to ask every head be bowed, eyes be closed. Father, help us to find contentment in every [Music] season. Help us, Jesus, to know that we can do all things, not in our own strength, but in yours. Lord, I pray that you would open up our eyes to see what we've got. God, I'm praying for the singles of this church, Lord, that they would know this is not a time to shrink away from their purpose. This is the time to run full force after it. Father, do this deep work in the single season so that we can have fruit in our relationships. God, let us be holy and fully devoted to you, that we'd give you our hearts, give you our minds, and give you our souls. All we are is yours.

Heads are bowed, eyes are closed. If you're here today and you say, "And Pastor Robert, I've never taken that first step, which is to say, Jesus, my life is [Music] yours." That is the first relationship. This is why Adam had to have that season with the Creator. There's an order to God's blessing. He wants you fully devoted to him. He wants all of you, not pieces of you. You're in this room or watching online or on the app right now, and you say, "Hey, if I'm honest, I haven't surrendered my life to him. I've been going to other things to find contentment and going to other things to find peace and joy, and I haven't come to the source." That's what he said to that single who was on that well that day, "If you would ask of me, I would give you living water. You don't have to thirst anymore." If that's you, would you be so honest just to lift up your hand high enough and long enough to where I can see, to say, "Today's the day I need to give all that I am to this wonderful, beautiful, sufficient Savior." If that's you, let me see your hand. Thank you, Jesus. Thank you, God. I see those hands. I see those hands. Come on. Maybe there was a season you were going after the things of God, but your heart's gotten cold, and God's calling you back home today, calling you back home. Your heart will. Augustine said, "My heart is always restless until it finds rest in thee." Anybody else? Thank you, Jesus. Thank you, Jesus.

Heads are still bowed, eyes are still closed. But if you're here today and maybe you are walking with the Lord, but the enemy has done his job of making you sad. You see all the burdens of the season, but you've lost the beauty and the benefits of the season. And in this moment, God is opening your eyes to see what you've got. To see the community around you. You don't got the spouse, but you got friends that care for you. You don't got the spouse, but you got your health. You're still standing. Are you just highlighting the burdens that you missed the benefit? Not really realizing that contentment is an inside job. That's you today, and God's just opening up your eyes to the things you've been blinded to. You're saying, "Lord, today, with the help of the Holy Spirit, I want to live from a place of contentment." If that's you, would you just lift up your hand all over this place today? Thank you, Jesus. Thank you, God. Thank you, God.

I want us to pray this prayer as one big family. But after we do, I want us to sing this song that says, "I will build my life upon your love." And as we sing it, even though we're going to pray this prayer at your seat, I just feel like there's some of you who lifted up your hand that you actually need to leave where you are and just come up here to the front. This altar is going to be open. There's something powerful about leaving where you are physically and going to a new place, 'cause it's like you're saying, "God, the old me, the discontent me, the one that's always seen the burdens and not the beauty, that's staying in my seat. But God, I'm just stepping into somebody who's living single and living in my marriage and seeing the life and the beauty in it." But we're going to pray this prayer, and then as Nick leads us in this song, I want you to come if you need to come. Would you say this prayer? Say, "Dear Jesus, I need you. I need you. I cannot do life without you. You are my life. Lord, today, I'm giving you all of me. No more pieces of pie. You can have everything. I give you my heart. I give you my mind. I give you my soul. I will build my life on the firm foundation of your love, and the love that comes to me will flow through me to other people. Holy Spirit, help me see my value. I am loved by God. In Jesus' name, amen."