Transcription
[music] [music] Oh, isn't it golden? Isn't it beautiful? It's the, that's the way they said it in the Midwest. Isn't it beautiful? Isn't it lovely?
[music] [music] There was a chap I, I forget his name, who burned with a hard and a gemlike flame.
[music] His spirit was pure. His spirit was white, and it shone like, like, like a candle in the night. This singular [snorts] state that chap achieved by living up to the things he believed. He spurned the better, pursued the best. He [music] wetted the form to the thing expressed. He strolled for beauty with all of his heart [music] and worshiped life, and worshiped life as a form of art.
[music] And everything vulgar he flung aside till his soul was perfectly purified.
[music] That explains how the poor chap came to burn with a hard and gemlike flame.
[music] And that explains why my old friend Mike laid him out with a marlin spike.
[music] [music] Oh, lay me out there on that long white slab. I want you to, I want you to put that $20 gold piece on my chest, hanging there on my watch chain, so they'll know, they'll know that I died standing pat. And I want them six black horses [music] to tow me down that long, long Bourbon Street. And I want them all to come and know that old Pat died standing up.
[music] Ba hooa [music] wa [music] [singing] [music] [music] [singing] [music] Once again there. Yeah. When a guy, I want [music] him to know I died standing pat with that $20 gold piece hanging there on my [music] watch chain. I want them six black horses to me along the St. James [music] and Farmer.
[music] >> [music] >> B. [music] [music] Bom B.
And now, um, for our next selection, we are choosing another refrain from another time, another world, and another place of existence. Cheap. As cheap as you can find it. Cheap. There it is. Right. I took it out for you. Cheap. Rotten cheap. Well, you know, speaking of the cheapness of the world, now I'll give you the cue there. Speaking of the cheapness of the world, you know, it's just, it's, it's once in the great while that, that you see a little hope. Just a little, a little bitsy bitsy flame burning there on the horizon. Just a little light, you know, a little hope. How long has it been since you've had any hope, friends? How long has it been since you felt that, that wonderful warm hand of friendship and that wonderful warm hand of trust laid upon your shoulder? And to have that friend look into your eye and say, "I trust you. I love you." How long has it been? Hh, that's right. Been a long time, hasn't it? Well, you come to the right congregation tonight because if you'll stand up there next to that radio of yours, you'll feel reaching out there from that field call of yours, you'll feel that warm, soft, friendly hand of mine. And I'm saying, "I love you."
>> [music] >> Okay, I'm with you. Well, you know, uh, we, we accept the New York Times, for example. I'm, I'm, I'm hung on the Times, but once in a while, the Times gets a hold of something on the fat part of the bat, you know, really drives it out in the center field. And you see that, that they're no different from the rest of us. I would imagine that from time to time, even the guys who write the Times send out their laundry. Hard to believe it, but I would suspect that it, it, it happens there because here I see in the New York Times, Sunday, January 7th, an old newspaper that's been hanging around and, and there's this beautiful little headline here. I think it's the wonderful thought for today. And if you're feeling a little depressed out there, friends, if you're feeling a little worried, a little concerned over the state of the world, if you feel things that are clouding up there in the horizon, if you feel that any moment now the world that we know is lab come tumbling down, I'd like to tell you friends, at the New York Times, as well as other people here, have perceived a slight bit of silver in that dark cloud. I think we need a little headline music over there. Yeah, that's right. A little headline music all together. All right. Now, that's just it. Just let it go into the next. There we go.
[music] That's fine. There you go, gang. Oh, all you fellas out there, you're playing it up. You're blowing it. That's the [clears throat] way I feel. Think me and my shadow. Oh, we three. My shadow. Me and I, all of us walking along that old road of life. Just a hop and rick.
[music] Headline reads: Ample food seen in atomic attack.
[music] Ample food seen in atomic attack.
[music] It's kind of warm, isn't it? Going to have food to eat after they blow us up. And then the little headline under it tells you why. The reason that we're going to have ample food seen in atomic attack: high death toll may avert shortages, study shows.
[music] What they're saying is that there won't be anyone around to eat that pastrami. There'll be plenty of pastrami for the six guys left. There may be a surplus of food and plenty of livable housing left after a massive nuclear attack because so many people would have been killed in the attack. This is one suggestion made in the latest of a number of studies made by the military on possible or probable impact of attack on the United States on the behavior of citizens. The study was conducted for the behavioral sciences division of the Air Force's office of scientific research under contract by Human Sciences Research Incorporated.
[music] [music] It would also handle the parking problem. I imagine it will settle a lot of those housing difficulties that a lot of you folks are experiencing out there. Oh, it, it really isn't so bad after all. Funky.
[music] [music] [music] Tick tick t. [laughter] All right, get all of it out of there. All of it. Huh? I took one look at that headline, boy, in the old litmus paper started that high death toll may avert shortages. That's one way to solve the food problem of the world. One way to take care of. Oh, you know, speaking of, of the food problems, since we're here, you know, and you know, we're all, we're all fighting and scratching on the same, in the same, uh, place, and you know where it is. Uh, I'm, I knew I was back home. And a lot of people suddenly were writing and calling and asking when did I go to see the Mississippi? Well, it was last Saturday. That was not a retrospective show last night about the river, that old Devil River. I was there over the weekend, way out there in St. Louis. And, uh, I don't know. Uh, I guess getting away and getting out into something that really is away. And do any of you know anything about floods? You ever, ever seen a real flood? You ever seen the river when it's really on a rampage? When it's really roaring? I don't think there's anything in the normal experience of frightening disclosures regarding nature that comes anywhere near a, a giant flood under full, really under full flood. Speaking of frightening phenomena of nature, this is W AM and FM New York. And we'll be here until, you know, we've got a couple of things here. For years, actor Raymond Massey was known to millions as Abe Lincoln. Now he's assumed the new role, that of the famous Dr. Gillespie in the Dr. Kildare series. Don't miss the story of Massey's switch from stovepipe hat to microscope in this week's TV Hard-Hitting Guide magazine. And in a more serious vein, TV Guide presents the challenging views of one of broadcasters most distinguished, uh, leaders. Yeah, excuse me. That's a Freudian slip. Sylvester "Pat" Weaver, a television pioneer, offers a precise and personal formula for program improvement. You know, I don't know what you think of Pat Weaver, whether you know anything about Pat Weaver, but I'm personally saying here that I, I have, I have great admiration for Pat Weaver, tremendous admiration for Weaver. And Weaver was one of the last of the real, I'd say, individuals in the big time echelons of broadcasting, who really felt seriously about broadcasting, who honestly felt about programming. Everybody that I know in the broadcast industry is very hard-hitting about sales. They're very hard-hitting about making something successful, but they're very, very soft-hitting when it comes to really doing programming. Really doing programming. And I got to say that, that, uh, I admire Pat Weaver, and when he was forced out of one of the big networks here in town, I could only say that it, it seems to happen to everybody who gets caught in a giant machine, and, uh, the machine is the whole broadcasting industry. The machine is the whole phenomenon of our life in this day and age, that it's evident that he couldn't, couldn't just, couldn't, you know, you just can't, you, you know, it's funny thing about that. But I was talking to a, a man today who is a big, well-respected executive in, in one of the fields of advertising, actually, and we were having a very serious discussion. Now, this is a big man in his field, the vice president of a big corporation, and we were, we were sitting in a restaurant discussing what it is in our national character. It is in our national character. We, we're very, very complex people, and, and, you know, I don't want this to be one of those shows where, where you spend your time excoriating the American way of life because I also have another feeling about America. I have a feeling that America is, is on the verge of a, of becoming in a very real sense, a genuine leader of a kind of world philosophy. It's on the verge of it. A lot of people don't know it, and a lot of people are fighting it. A lot of people are uncomfortable in the, in the, uh, presence of it. But nevertheless, I feel that it's, it's happening. And I think that, that once in a while, somebody comes up and says it. There was a writer, for example, the other day in the Manchester Guardian, uh, who said, I think he was a member of parliament, as a matter of fact. He says, "I have a, a tremendous involvement with America. I have a great respect and admiration for America because I think in America, they really are involved in trying to make the world a better place to live. Many people are, and he says, "I don't think you find this in many other parts of the world." And so, this is not going to be a show to excoriate the American way of life because I think, I think that we're on the track of something that most of us don't even understand in America. And I also believe this. I believe that in 20 years, the world that we live in is going to be so different from the world that we even know today. And I'm not talking technologically here, although that will be part of it. It will be so different from the world we know today that it will be just practically like living on another planet. Uh, there have been a lot of people who say, have said this, but, uh, I mean, I'm intrigued. And there's one, one aspect of our, of our culture that, that is, is forever intriguing to me here. Let, let's take, let's take the case of television. Let's take the, the case of broadcasting now, uh, which is a field that I happen to know about. These are two unparalleled, uh, mediums for, for communication, for exposition, for a thousand things that they have never even really touched yet in, in either of the mediums, television or radio. And yet, what have we done with these mediums? Well, I don't have to say, do I? And you yourself, you know, the average person is going to shrug his shoulders. He's going to say, "Well, what else could you do with them?" Well, that is not an answer. We will never know what we could have done with them because it's too late, 'cause patterns have been set. You know, patterns of behavior. As a matter of fact, you know, I think in people's own lives, the same thing happens that I think by the time a guy is 10 years old, he's a born loser. He's not a born loser, he is a loser, he's a second-rate person by the time he's 10. And, and no amount of buying Dr. Appeals books, no amount of buying self-help books by the time he's 40 going to make any difference at all, except to make him feel a little good by reading them. You know, the kind of books with every third or fourth letter, every third or fourth paragraph is, is in caps so you remember this. You know, that kind of thing. You've seen them, little six golden rules for becoming dynamic. And then there'll be one of the first rules will say, "Capture people's attention. Look them right in the eye. Remember this always." Then that'll be all headlined, you know. And here this poor little guy who's nearsighted and has bad astigmatism is reading it, you know, has skim trouble. Weighs 110 lbs. Says, "Be hard-hitting. Walk into the room like you meant it. Plant your feet straight down on the ground and walk, walk, walk. Lay it down like that." It's kind of sad, you know. Well, anyway, uh, I believe that a man, just like a nation, has a certain attitude towards itself. A man, a man, by the time he's 10 years old, has already either given up or he's become a leader in the group, or he's a fighter against the leader in the group. Those three different aspects of people. Now, now, how he begets this, in everyone's going to blame his parents. But remember this, that everybody had rotten parents. Just ask everybody, unless it happens to be an old sentimental person. Every young person thinks he's got inadequate parents in one way or another. Even the kid that's the leader. And so you'll say on the one hand that one kid got to be a tough leader because he had bad parents. Probably what they said about Hitler. On the other hand, the kid that, that, that was already a, a has-been at the age of 11, they say, "Well, it's because he didn't get enough love at home. You know, feels inadequate." So, the parents are going to get the brunt of it anyway, in any, in any situation, wherever you go. Uh, this is evident, of course, in the, in the Salinger stories, which I, I can't, I have to keep bringing up all the time because they make such a, they seem to communicate with so many people, but everybody in the Salinger stories is always bugged because you have bad parents, from Holden Caulfield up and down. Uh, that's just part of it. Well, I don't agree. Uh, there are such a thing as bad kids, too, you know. Uh, your parents were kids once, you know, but that's beside the point. The fact is that, that I think by the time a kid is 10 or 11, a pattern has been set in his life, a pattern where he accepts the fact that he's going to be a file clerk in an agency. Not only that, he searches it out. On the other hand, other people will not accept that and have not accepted it from the time they're 10 and go on to become other things. Because I've, I've encountered many a leader, and I have yet to really meet a leader who, who astounded me with his brilliance, who, who I felt, "Now, here's, here's a man who has a great deal to say about the world or about the condition of the situation that we're in or the company that I'm working for that I could never possibly conceive." You know what I mean by that? What made him become a leader? It's intriguing. Well, you will find that most of them were pretty aggressive all the way back to the time they were eight. That didn't just happen like yesterday. And, and so I think also a nation is this way too. Very interesting thing about nations. And I think that we here in America are fascinating people. What is it within us that makes us, in a sense, kind of demean the most important things that we always have, and at the same time pretend that we haven't done it? What is that? Well, I'll tell you, very interesting little, little example of, of what I mean by this. Americans are constantly being criticized for being very commercial people, and yet, in action, we are not. I've, I've traveled around the world a little bit. I've been in the East. I've been in the Middle East. I've been in Africa. I've been in Europe. I've lived in these places and spent time there. And I find that we are one in action. I mean, actually walking around the street, being here, you, me, and all the rest of us are less commercial and less money-minded than most other civilized parts of the world I've run into. Are you aware of that? Believe me, the French make us look like we're, we're, you know, like, like we're nutty with, we just don't ever think about money. Have you ever been around the French? Oh, boy. There is nobody who is more materialistic than the French, with the possible exception of the Belgians, and with the possible exception of, I can go on and on and on, you know. Intriguing. Yet, we've got the reputation for being that. Now, we know that we're not, or at least we believe we're not. And yet, it's interesting. I, I remember seeing the Brussels Fair. Most of the exhibits in the Brussels Fair were really national exhibits. In other words, they were exhibits that had to do with, with the national spirit [snorts] of the country involved. You know what I mean by the national spirit? For example, if you went to the French exhibit, there would be things about the French peasants and the handiwork of this and that and the vases and so on. And it was very pleasant. But we have this big spectacular exhibit. And what do you think it has there? It has exhibits by most of the big companies in America, cigarette companies, Coca-Cola. And it became very evident that ours was just a big commercial venture. A friend of mine has just come back from the Seattle World's Fair. What do you think the Seattle World's Fair is? Well, he said, and he was planning to do a show out there, a television show, and he said he decided not to do it because it's a gigantic series of commercials for various companies. So, there's a great big, uh, oil company exhibit, a great big cigarette company exhibit, and in the end, it's a, it's like a whole series of enormous, uh, highly expensive commercials. We never seem to be able to do anything without somehow getting the plugola out of it. That seems to be so much part of our world that we, we can't conceive of anything existing without it. You notice that? I could give you other examples of it, but it's ridiculous to go into it, you know? Huh? The, oh, well, the circus is, is wild. I went to the circus the other day. I told you about that on the air with the clowns walking around with the big tubes of toothpaste. One clown walks past with a big box of Reynolds Wrap. [laughter] Believe me, there will be come, there will come a day, I'm sure there will come a day when Geraldine Page, in the middle of the second act, will hold up a big Brillo pad, and on the bottom of the program, it'll say, "Brillo Pad by Brillo Pad," and, uh, it'll all be a tie-in deal, you know, the whole thing, and they'll, they'll pick up part of the tab for the show. You see, that will be the rationale, and they'll say, "Well, we, we couldn't have done it if it hadn't been for the Brillo people." You know, they pick it up. And Blue Cheer, you know, picked up the whole last act, you know, the scene where there she, she's down there having the big scene with Rip Torn over the automatic washer there, and, and she spills the Blue Cheer all over the floor, you know, and she picks it up. Well, we, we couldn't have done the show without them. And, and of course, in the, in this middle of the second act, in the intermission there, Rex Rex Marshall will step out, or Bill Shipley, and he'll say, "Folks, uh, just a moment, folks, before you go out and enjoy a cigarette, I'd like to point out to you that tonight's, uh, production of Death of a Salesman is being brought to you by Wheaties, the breakfast of champions." Yes. If Willie had eaten Wheaties every morning as a boy, I'm sure that Willie [laughter] Yeah. Well, what do you think we're doing anyway in a theater for crying out loud? Do you know who sponsors most of the theater now? The Westport Lady Clubs. And that's another kind of sponsorship. You say it isn't sponsorship of pigs here. Have you ever been around where they actually, before the show goes into production, before they even go into rehearsal? Do you know that they read the shows now for the ladies? Are you aware of that? I have sat in on those things. So, this is not theoretical. The little ladies sit there with their little hats and their their girdles creaking, you know, and they've just come from Schrafft's, and everybody gets up there and reads the show to the ladies. And if the ladies don't like it, believe me, the angels pull out. So, who's really sponsoring the show? [laughter] Oh boy. But, but, you know, it's all pretty fascinating. And, and I'm talking to this guy today, and, and both of us are looking at each other. I says, "What is it?" He said, "I don't know. I don't know. I don't know. I don't know. I don't know what makes us take a magnificent medium like television and devote it entirely to westerns." Boy, this is going to be a fascinating psychological and sociological study 150 years from now. An entire nation went down the drain with the sound of transcribed videoed hoof beats, you know, really. And, and it, it's a fascinating phenomenon to observe. I don't, I, I can't explain it. And, and of course, a lot of people are going to say, "Well, you don't like it, what are you doing?" It's because I do like it that I'm worried. You know, speaking of that, you know, just, and on a subsidiary issue here, I'm fascinated by another thing that's recently popped up, and that's this, this stamp premium bit that's sweeping America. This is not a new thing. My, my mother used to save stamps. The minus, the department store used to give out green stamps, some kind of a green stamp. I don't know whether they were green stamps or not, but they were green colored. Well, now, the one thing I want to propose to you. I want to ask you a question. They've got all these commercials all over the radios for these various stamps. Save Whoopy Stamps, save Purple Stamps, save Yellow Stamps, you know, Plaid Stamp, all kinds of stamps. Have you noticed that every one of the stamps claims that it's the most valuable? Every one of them. Yes. "Save the new Whoopy Plaid Stamps, the most valuable stamps of them all." And then 30 seconds later, you'll hear what sounds like the same announcer. "Yes. Save the new Polka Dot Stamps, the most valuable of them all. The most gifts, the most fantastic rewards. Yes. You, too. Get in line, ladies. Save the new Whoopy Polka Dot Stamps." And, and what is that? You know, they're all the most valuable. I, I foresee the day, you know. I really do. I foresee the day when you're going to read a little item in the paper. "Mr. J.L. Birdong passed away yesterday at the age of 87, leaving behind a fortune. At the reading of his will, which turned out to be 37,000 King Kong stamps, 298,000 Green Stamps, 7,000 Plaid Stamps, and 400,000 Cigar Store Coupons. He left it all to the Salvation Army. The will is being contested by his relatives who said that he was doing it in the moment of insanity."
>> [music] >> No, I really w you know, and that's another interesting concept of charity we have. I, I heard somebody on the air, which we will not mention here, was recommending to the people that since, you know, charity is such a good idea, that what they ought to do is to give their their premium stamps to charity. Now, is that charity or is it not? I thought charity was a sacrifice. I mean, you get these stamps when you buy bread whether you want them or not. You know, you get the stamp. So, giving the stamp away doesn't seem to me to be charity at all. It's the best possible elements of two worlds. Be charitable, but be charitably economically. As friends, you too can become a charitable person. Give your Whoopy Purple Stamps away to the Salvation Army. Is it charity or isn't it? How long has it been since your dreams have come true? Huh? Wouldn't it be great if the stuff you dream about, you really could get through Plaid Stamps? Oh, boy. I could see some guy out there is planning to, he's been plotting for years to murder his wife, and he's going to do it by saving Plaid Stamps. His dreams will come true. [laughter] And there's some, there's some chick who's been out there plotting for years to run away with Marlon Brando, get away from the seven kids and shuck that fat old husband of hers, and she's saving [laughter] King Kong stamps so her dreams. Look, I'm sorry, I can't help it, you know. The Eskimo [laughter] I'm sorry. You know, it goes all the way up and down. How can you, how can you get serious when, when in, in the New York Times, did you see the thing on the New York Times, uh, and the, it's one of the greatest things I've ever seen on the, uh. Well, of course, you can go further and further and further with these things. Uh, if, if you want to really pursue what's in our national character, I don't know. Uh, I don't know whether it's our national character or not. I, I think for one thing that we're most of the time we're playing in our lives. I don't think Americans are very, I think mostly our life is one long childish game. Business is a big game. You know, international relationships are a big game with people, and, and, you know how games are. When you're in a game, if you don't like it anymore, you can quit. Just kick the table over and say, "I quit." And go down to the hamburger joint and get a cheeseburger. And that's what a lot of people are doing. You know, now all of a sudden, the, the whole business of international relationships has become serious. You know, furthermore, you know, I can't, I can't understand. We, we never know what we want. Now, I was reading a magazine which, for the, for the purposes of argument, we'll call the Reporter magazine. Now, I remember the same magazine about 8 years ago or so, I don't know when it was, not maybe not that long ago. They were talking about the fact that that politicians no longer have any sense of humor, that it's impossible for any politician to get elected if he has a sense of humor. They said that. You remember when they used to say that? And they used to say that particularly because apparently Stevenson has a sense of humor and Stevenson lost. Well, now, I, I read an article by the same magazine. I'm not sure it is the same magazine. I, so, let's cross out the name Reporter. I think it is. And I'm not, I hate to, hate to credit somebody or discredit somebody with something they didn't do, but this article comes up and they're denouncing Kennedy. Not denouncing him really, but they're looking at him sidelong, you know, sidelong glance because he has a sense of humor. And he's made a couple of funny cracks, like he made a funny remark to the German ambassador that caused the German ambassador to flip, and he winds up sending 18 important telegrams back to Bonn, and almost an international situation resulted out of it. Well, they, they, they were sort of being a little critical of, of Kennedy for having this sense of humor. So, you never know what you want. I'm serious. You never know what you want. For, for eight long years, people were saying, "What we need in the White House is a leader." Now they're all saying, "They got a guy who, who obviously, you know." There are two different attitudes towards the presidency. Are you aware of that? I mean, as a concept of what the presidency should be. One of the concepts is actually, there's three or four different attitudes, but one of the concepts is the chairman of the board concept, or let us say the emeritus concept, which is to say that the man merely approves or disapproves what the various houses of Congress does, and in a sense, is just above all everything. He just sort of approves or disapproves, and he never really, he never really does anything more than that. It's like the, it's like the chairman of the board who's been kicked upstairs. Now, that's, in a sense, the Eisenhower concept of the presidency. Then there is the other concept of the presidency that says the president must be a leader of the country. That's totally opposed. You know, whenever a leader shows up, everybody's angry, but whenever we don't have a leader, then we get mad because we don't [laughter]. For example, an example of the leader-type president is Lincoln. Now, you, you realize that Lincoln was very unpopular among many people because he took positive action at the time of the Civil War. He said, "We've got to do it whether we like it or not for the good of the nation, whether you like it or not." And of course, a lot of people screamed and raised all kinds of canine. I'm not talking about southerners who would obviously be against that, but I'm talking about northerners because they resented the fact that here was a president who was leading in a con. You see, at a, at a, at a, I think at a, whenever a genuine giant emergency arises, it, it is just that way that a committee hardly ever seems to do anything about it. You ever seen a committee really move? Because there's too many, ar, you know, you wind up with many, many arguments. You wind up with all kinds of routines. And I'm not saying I'm approving one or the other type of presidency. I'm saying they're two different types. And no matter what one you get, it's going to be inadequate to a large section of the population. You know, it's a fascinating thing to see. Uh, on the other hand, u, speaking of, uh, and going further than that, in the, in the, and, and connected with this strange world that we're living in, and it's a wild, interesting, fascinating world where nobody really knows what he wants, uh, magazines, for example, take, uh, the various male magazines, you know, with the thing that folds out in the middle with the three-color picture of the girl, that, if a real woman ever entered the pages of those magazines, this was said to me by a literary agent today who's a good one, who handled some top authors, and he named one of the big magazines, Playboy, as a matter of fact, it was he was talking about. He says, "You know, if a real woman ever entered any of the fiction of the magazine, real woman, he says, the thing would blow up. They would know how to handle it because women are not treated like women in that magazine, you see, not really." And he also says, you know, "You cannot in any of the male magazines of that type." He's not referring to the other type. There's another type of male magazine which is the opposite pole. I'm talking about the true, the atom, the hard-hitting type. Now, that's another kind of male magazine. That's the barber shop truck driver syndrome. Uh, the other, other type, the, the Playboy, uh, type of magazine. He says, "You can never sell them a story that has to do with anybody in the service because they will not concede. They turn their back on any kind of reality that they do not believe or refuse to accept the fact they will be in service or were in service. It's a, it's a kind of withdrawal. It's a kind of, you know, turn your back on reality thing." And it's fascinating, you see this. Well, so here we've got this interesting world that we live in that things are almost invariably diametrically opposed to what they say they're for. And it becomes very funny if you look at it the right way. Uh, here. Fascinating little bit here. I, I would never have believed it unless it actually happened. I think a little, I think a little, I think it wouldn't hurt at all right at this point.
[music] [singing] [music] [singing] Would you like to be lulled to sleep tonight by the soothing sound of surf, or would [music] you prefer a mountain cabin in a gentle rain? Either of these peaceful, tranquilizing sounds can be yours at the touch of a button, thanks to a remarkable new electronic instrument called the CP Sound Conditioner. However, the CP Sound Conditioner does more than just [music] put you to sleep. It keeps you asleep. It produces these effects in the form of white sound, an equal blending of all sound frequencies audible to the human ear. This is scientifically calculated to shut out all distracting noises and bring on natural, peaceful sleep.
[music] >> [singing] >> Its principle is endorsed by acoustical engineers who draw a sharp distinction between silence, which is the absence of noise, and [music] quiet, which is the absence of distraction. It is approved by psychologists who know that a certain amount of sound is necessary for us to retain our sanity. You can use it anywhere. Home, office, traveling. Weighs only 5 lbs. Handsome traveling case, measures 8 in x 6 in x 5 in. Powered by new long-life flashlight batteries, finished in black with beautiful brushed brass trim. Precision engineered, carefully tested in homes, offices, and hospitals. Would you [music] like to be lulled to sleep tonight by the soothing sound of electronic surf?
[music] Or would you prefer a transistorized mountain cabin with [music] a taped gentle rain?
[music] [music] And we have a special model, our model 176SJ7, which is a model for city people who are now, through reasons over which they have no control, living in the country. Would you like to be lulled to sleep at the sound of [music] the gentle rising and falling of 6th Avenue traffic at high noon?
[music] And for the truly nervous people, we have our model 17DJLP.
[music] And this is the model that gives you the sound of hundreds of people in the background talking, saying soothing things, pleasant things, and in many cases, loving things about you.
[music] Loud. [music] Would you like to be lulled to sleep tonight by the soothing sound of the surf?
[music] >> [music] >> Now, this ties in very nicely with the program last night about the electronic artificial world of the urban dweller and why he is so frightened when he sees a genuine wet raindrop. [laughter] One that came out of the sky, you know, that fell 4,000 feet and landed on his glasses. [laughter]
>> [sighs] >> That's a mirthless laugh. Be that treason, albeit as we say. And on the subject of, oh, I suppose the subject doesn't matter one way or the other. Oh, by the way, tomorrow is the day the Earth is supposed to be knocked off its axis. And today, the Italian police went rushing up Europe's highest mountain, in case you're interested. Dr. Elio Brianka and his followers have predicted that someone will touch off a Mercury bomb, turning the Earth on its side and sending the oceans roaring over all but the highest peaks.
[music] That's isn't why the police went up Mont Blanc. However, today they went up to handle a possible rush of traffic by foreigners seeking the shelter of the 15,000-foot peak and to control the antics of scoffers who are reported ready to fire fireworks at 12:45 p.m., the hour of doom. The 10 arcs that Dr. Brianka ordered did not arrive from the factory in time.
[music] How can you take mankind seriously?
[music] I wonder if Noah built his ark from a kit.
[music] [music] Now look, you all you got to do is keep your news. Yeah, that's right. Just keep it the way it's coming every hour on the hour because that's why we're so nervous. We want to know whether the world disappeared [music] since the earliest newscast we heard. Oh, keep your, you know, [music] blow your nose once in a while. Keep your knees loose and, you know, take the ashes out occasionally.
[music] Just, just occasionally.
[music] Heat. [music] [music] Heat. [music] >> [music]