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What's going on?

What's good and how you doing today?

I'm What's going on with the world?

I agree. I agree with like 95% of what you just said. But aunt, you don't believe in platonic relationships at all?

No, I don't. No. Unless you're gay. or you just a weak man that's lying to women.

So, I'm just like a couple years older than you, but you don't believe that like, let's say people.

I'm sorry, what' you say?

What do your age got to do with the conversation?

Nothing. But you don't believe even with people that grew up with each other in a sandbox daycare, elementary school, you don't believe you don't believe they can have a bark relationship at all? If they so deep and they so in love with each other, friends with each other, then why don't they just be together? Why don't they just be in love?

Let me ask you a question. What is the basis of cheating?

So, what is the basis of cheating?

Yeah. What does cheating mean?

I mean, you could cheat emotionally. You could cheat physically.

You said the answer that I was looking for. Emotional cheating. What is emotional cheating?

Emotional cheating is basically um entertaining another person in a fashion that could possibly lead to something more than.

Stop right there.

A platonic relationship.

You literally just said it. That could possibly possibility means that there's a chance.

Yep.

So, if I have another woman around me that's not my girl, that woman that will be emotionally cheating because let's let's just let's just break it down. We we going to use your logic of this so-called sandbox relationship that we talking about. I've been knowing this woman since I was in the fourth grade. Let's just say for example, I'm 30 years old. You would think that if I've been knowing a woman for two decades, there going to be some type of love that I feel towards her. It don't have to be sexual, but there's a type of love. There's a type of care. There's a type of compassion and feeling that I have that's a deep connection with this woman. Right.

I agree.

Is that not emotional cheating? If this woman calls me on the phone and says, "Hey, my boyfriend just put my hands on me. Guess what? I'm her friend. I've been known her since the sandbox. Shouldn't I go out there and help her?" Hey Ann, I need to get my car fixed. My fault. My I'm stuck on the side of the road. Can you come change my tire? Hey, I'm really sad today. Can you talk to me? I'm emotionally cheating. I may not be physically cheating, but I'm emotionally cheating with this against my woman with this other woman. That's a that's an example of emotional cheating. So, at the end of the day, however, what you want way you want to frame it, you going to prove my point for me with this long-term so-called relationship that we got. This is emotional cheating. So to negate that, to not have that around even a possibility, there's no reason why I shouldn't be around this woman in the first place to respect my relationship. But again, I think it's weak for men to have female friends in the first place. I think it's one of the not the weakest thing you could do, but it's one of the weakest things you could do.

No, I agree with you. And I when you were talking about um I think but if if you're not in a if you're not in an exclusive relationship with another woman, do you still think it's a problem though?

I don't think men and women can be friends. I think you I think people lie to each other and tell each other what they want to hear. I think people like to put on the facade, but at the end of the day, um unless you gay, if your female friend wanted to give you that sloppy toffee in the car when y'all come home from Buffalo Wild Wings, you not going to stop her. You may question it. Hey, really? We've been knowing each other for so long until she grabbed a [ __ ]

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I mean, let's be honest, bro. When we see women, we don't say, "hm, she probably seems like a good person that'll be my friend." When we see women, we look at them from a attraction trigger first, unless you're gay and you figure out.

I agree with you. I agree. I agree with everything you're saying.

So, there we go. And just because you didn't try to sleep with a woman don't mean you don't want to. So, even the thought of it takes away from the fact that it's platonic. It's all a lie. We put on this earth to procreate. We're not put on this earth to be friends.

No, I want I 100% agree, Chan. I think I think a lot of it is disingenuous. I don't think a lot of it is pure and genuine. Um, and I think it goes a lot of people like to talk make it seem as if it comes from the men most of the time, but I think it's I think it I think it goes both ways because a lot of the times if the woman didn't find the man attractive, she wouldn't be trying to entertain him either. So, I agree with you.

I think it's more so on the male side because women are more social butterflies. they can connect a lot like they they like that that connection but that don't mean that it can't come from a woman but I think it's much more on a male side when it comes to why men and women can't be friends but that don't mean it can't come from woman cuz people say what if somebody not attracted to each other well then the unattractive person is going to be attracted to the other person like if I'm with a woman and we just friends but she fat and ugly eventually she going to probably start liking me.

Right.

I mean, I mean, it takes.

It's just a matter of time is what you're saying.

Exactly. Exactly. And then let me ask you this too. Let's say you got a female friend, Noble. If you and your female friend, let's just break this down tangibly to make make sense, though. You got a female friend, Noble, and y'all walking down the street and I come up and smack your female friend on. What you going to do? You don't know me from the campaign?

And she's just my quote unquote friend.

She's your female platonic friend. that you were speaking about.

I see where you going.

No, answer the question. Come on.

No, cuz cuz cuz in that situation, the man should if the woman is she she's been essay, so the man should defend the woman and he should engage in a physical altercation.

You have to put on the line for this broad.

Exactly. For a woman that you're not even in a relationship with, that's your quote unquote friend.

Now, let's take it deeper than that. Let's say you and this female friend go get food. Let's say y'all go go to dinner together. you a lot of times these so-called male and female relationships, you still giving her boyfriend energy. You probably grabbing her car door or if not, you going to grab the front door for her. You're going to make sure that you sit with your back turned away from the or turned Yeah. turned away from the door so you can see the entrance. You probably going to pay for it. You probably you still going to show that shiverous boyfriend energy without hitting the bra. And then she may call you next day, hey, can you help me move my apartment? I need to fix this couch. I need to move this heavy couch. You giving her boyfriend energy and you ain't even hitting abroad. What is she doing for you besides, hey, how's this how my day was? She ain't giving you nothing. Can you really get advice from a woman about your life as a grown man? Hell no.

No.

Exactly. So, there's no benefit that you get from a man. Nothing. She ain't raising your children. She's not cooking for you. She ain't cleaning for you. She's not adding any value into your life outside of you giving yourself to her. So, that everything that you can that this woman could do as a so-called friend, a male friend would be better. And at the end of the day, there's nothing that she's doing that's not that that she's giving in return to you that would equal it out. That would cancel it out because you can she if if anybody want to argue, well, she can give advice to him. Well, he can give advice to her. Everything that that y'all benefit from as far as friendships cancel out, but the difference still is male and female biological dynamics. You still got to protect her and to an extent you might have to provide to and you might have to do the heavy lifting whenever she needed. It's a it's a lose-lose situation, my nie.

No, I I I agree with you 100%. A I just think I just think where I respectfully disagree with you a little bit. I just think.

That's that's that's not agreeing.

98%. I I just think I just think there are some situations sometimes where it can be like super platonic.

Yeah. If they gay. If somebody.

Under certain circumstances though.

Yeah. Somebody's gay. I agree. No, but uh yeah, I I rock with you and uh I I agree with you, dog.

I just I just I just I just didn't know that you didn't believe in the platonic stuff at all.

Yeah, it's weak. I just mentioned why. Can you give me a tangible benefit that you get from having a female friend that we cancel out?

No. And no, I agree with you.

Yeah. There we go. All right.

All right. And you have a good one, bro.

Likewise. Appreciate you coming up.

Yep. We got to turn the music down in the background.

Oh, sir, can you hear it?

Yeah.

What's going on?

Yeah. So, I've been with my uh girlfriend for about 2 years. Um, she's from India, so she does things a bit differently. We have our own place, but she said when we're actually married, her parents want to move in with us.

No. And to be honest, I don't know if if that's okay or if that's normal.

It's not okay. Absolutely not. No.

Okay.

Absolutely.

Because Okay. Cuz the apartment that we live in, it's sign in both our names. So, I don't want to say no. And then it just causes problems.

Well, you a man. So, you you a man. You got to be a leader. So you got to say no. You You can't conform. You not being a leader if you going to If you know something is not going to operate correctly, but you going to say yes just to conform, just to agree, just to make people feel good, then you not being a leader. You a man. If that's your lady, you need to have your lady in check. And the problem is you. The problem ain't even the parent or the woman. The problem is you because this is not something that you just peeped like today. This is something that you probably seen like a a path of this a long time ago that you haven't vetted from day one or that you haven't checked from day one. When you get with a woman, when you see [ __ ] like that, you got to call that as soon as you see that. Hey, look, I see this relationship like this. Look, when it come you explain it so she know that you not going for it. You know what I'm saying? But you probably let linger. You let linger. You let linger. You was being a yes man. And then you in a situation where where you in going to be looked at as a bad guy if because you haven't you know you haven't set a tone up front. You got to set a tone up front as a man. You know what I'm saying? So at the end of the day it's going to fall back on you.

Yeah. Cuz they her parents are very very old and they don't believe in sending their parents to retirement homes and stuff.

Yeah. I mean, ain't that's not your business. I mean, as far as you, you know, you taking care of them. So, I mean, honestly, this is again, this is a conversation that you should have vetted a long time ago or should have had a long time ago during that vet process. So, now you kind of stuck. But if I'm answering your question, I'll say hell no. You they don't need to be moving in with you. No.

Okay. Um, can can you speak to my to my girlfriend?

Can I speak to you next? Yeah. Put her on the file. Sure. Wake up. Wait. Wake up. Wake up. Wake up. Hello. Hold on one second. There's no trolling. All right, you got about 3 seconds. We got to go to the next person cuz we ain't going to wait on your Okay. Yeah, he he dropped down. Uh, shout out to uh Chanel for always coming through with the love, Chanel. Thank you for the $15 donation. I appreciate you, Chanel. Much love to you, sweetie. Shout out to Chanel. Somebody said it's a part of their culture. Well, yeah, that would prove my point even more. I mean, if that's a part of their culture, then you know, you got to you got to understand who you dealing with. You feel me? You got to understand the type of woman that you dealing with. If you dating outside your ethnic group or, you know, dating into a culture that you don't know about, you got to understand the culture. You get what I'm saying? So, it is what it is.

Okay. So this is the thing with my relationship or the relationship that I had just ended. We was for together for a year. This dude seen me go through school. He seen me graduated CNA school, med tech school. Now I'm doing nursing. The whole nine yards. Um the reason why we ended is because I just felt like he wasn't where he needed to be and I wanted him to get there badly. But it's like I can't force you to want to get there. yourself, you have to want to get there. So, I just felt like that on top of me and him not seeing eye to eye when it came to certain things. Like, he wanted a pair, this dude, y'all, he wanted a pair of $800 shoes and he wanted me to give him $400. We had just came back from a week long vacation itinerary every single day. And he's asking about a pair of $800 shoes, which I have no problem with, but we're just two young adults starting off in life. We still getting through college. Who got $400 for a pair of $800 shoes just because I just And I don't know y'all. Yeah. So that's crazy. And then on top of that, he has his mother, which is a whole another thing that that's for her husband and son and one. You cannot tell her no different. And that woman has did that man so many ways wrong. But because that's his mom, he's always going to see that woman as his first, his everything. And I get that cuz I have a um I have a brother as well. But it's like to an extent, it's like when people do you but so wrong, you can only choose but to leave. You know what I'm saying? Or not even leave, but morally distance yourself for your own respect and peace. But.

All right. So.

My thing is like how do.

Okay, hold on. Hold on. Hold on. All right. What did you do wrong?

I did when we used to get into arguments and stuff like that. I me personally I I have the type of personality where I shut down after we get into arguments. That's it. Um when we go back and forth over stuff is usually over stuff that's small maybe to the outside person but it's big to me. Like okay for instance every single day that we went on he will pick a day and a time. When you picking a day and a time I'm going to be ready by that by that day. no time. You're not going to call my phone and be like, "Hey y'all, I'm outside." And I'm going to be the type of girl that be like, "Yeah, I need 15, 20 more minutes." Nah, I'm going to be outside. Dude will be hours late.

So, I find it funny that I simply just asked you, "What did you do wrong?" And in terms of you explaining what you did wrong, you went back to what he did wrong. That's not what I asked you. I asked you a simple question. What did you do wrong? And you completely said, "Oh, sometimes I just shut down, but he did this." This is what people do when they don't take accountability. And I knew you was going to do that, which is why I asked those questions because 99% of women who call up to my live when I ask that question, that's exactly what they do because accountability is kryptonite to y'all. I knew you were going to do that. So, I'm ask the question again. What do you or what did you do wrong? Because we can sit here and talk about everything that he did wrong. That's fine. But he's not here. You know what? I like the way you speak because you speak just like my father. So, um I feel like I.

Then you you feel like it is like you feel like it's.

I feel like I wasn't there as best as I could be because I was going through my own stuff.

But at the same time it's like I try to voice that and it's like that wasn't really being heard. It was kind of like.

Yeah, another time again. So you're doing the same exact thing again. I simply asked you, "What did you do wrong?" And instead of you explaining what you did wrong, you're reverting back to explaining what he did wrong. This is what people do when they don't know how to take accountability. You're easily predictable. This is the average modern woman mentality. This is the second time.

So when you say, "What did you do?"

Now you have to let me finish. This is the second time that you've done this. I literally just called out you're doing it 30 seconds ago. And when I reiterated the question and I wanted to make it clear that I'm speaking on what you did wrong, you said, "Well, but" and you're going back into what he did wrong. You was with this man for how long?

For a little over a year.

Okay. So, a little over a year. What you're not going to sit here and tell me is that he was just this real bad person who did everything wrong, but you was with him for a year. I'm sure if he was hearing this conversation right now, he would be explaining things that you did wrong as well. So, what I'm not doing is picking aside. What I'm telling you is be accountable for what you did wrong, too. Your question was, "How do you heal?" So, I could sit up here and tell you all of this. Go to therapy. And what most women do, this is why it's real good for people like yourself to come and talk to somebody like me. Because if you was explaining this to any woman, and I noticed in the comments, the women did exactly what women always do. Oh, he went, "Girl, you leave him. Girl, you deserve better." That's not giving you actual help and challenging you to be a better person. that's instilling into you to be delusional, which is why the majority of y'all are. I'm not here to hurt you, Lei. I'm not here to chastise you. I'm not here to be mean to you. I'm here to give you reality so you can have a better outcome moving forward. So, let's try this again. What did you do wrong in this relationship dealing with this man? What did you do wrong? Go ahead. I'm listening.

When you say that, I have to think because it's like, you know, it wasn't I never cheated on him, but I do feel like I wasn't as calm as I should have been when it came to a lot of things. Like I wasn't as understanding.

Okay, go into more detail.

So when he would come to me about his issues, I probably I dismissed them because of the simple fact that when I came to him by my issues, they were dismissed. So I feel like I.

You're doing the same exact thing. You've done this three times in a row. This is literally like like I just I've never seen it done this many times. Usually I'll get it after the second time. You're doing the same exact thing again.

Oh, what Patty Cake said. Yeah. Tiff or tat. That's basically what it is. The 10 for 10. That's what I did.

But I'm not asking you about what he did. I'm asking you about what he did. But why do you have to explain what he did to explain what you did? If someone was to ask me your aunt, in this relationship, you was dealing with this girl for two years. What happened? What did you do wrong, aunt, well, I ain't going to lie, sometimes I was rude. Sometimes I was arrogant. I didn't want to listen to what she had to say. Sometimes I don't have to say, "Well, she made me did this." Or, "Well, some she did this, so I did this." Like it's it's again you y'all women don't like to take accountability for nothing. You don't have to mention somebody else faults to mention your own faults. This is stuff that's instilled from y'all from when y'all was little children, little girls. Y'all don't have to be held accountable for anything. This is why when when uh Dr. Shahar Shahad Ali said this perfectly. Most she said black women, but I don't think it's specific to black women. It's specific to most modern American women in general. Y'all are like little children. This is the fourth and third black women because I don't I I try not to be in that stereotype when it comes to black women.

No, no, I didn't say black women. I'm saying I said it's not specific to black women. This is women all across America. The average modern day mentality is like this. Y'all don't take accountability. And even when mentioning your own faults, y'all have to mention somebody else faults first. You already went into detail when you initially started speaking about how bad he was and the money and the he wasn't where he wanted him to be and this and that and financially. Okay, cool. We got that. Now, what did Lei do wrong? And in the turn four times, I've asked you three or four times I've asked you what did you do wrong in this relationship and what led up to, you know, how you could be better. You you you just can't do it. You have to mention him. You have to mention what somebody else did. Why is it so hard for you to like just answer my question? Maybe we s we've been sitting here for like 5 10 minutes answering the same exact question. It still hasn't been answered.

All right. And so maybe that's where my problem starts at first that I got to make my own while I'm doing this. Okay.

The problem starts with accountability. And I'm almost certain that if you doing it with with me and you don't know me, I'm almost certain that this logic also was or this this behavior was displayed when you was with him. Again, I ain't taking his side. Anybody that's not being financially smart shouldn't be in a relationship, right? That's stuff that's going to affect not only himself, but his woman as well. I'm not negating that. But he not here. And I'm not respectfully like I'm not your female friends. I'm not the friend group. I'm not the Tik Tok that is algorithm that's based to make you feel like you don't do anything wrong and you're a pretty princess over here. You got to be accountable. So, I'm simply asking you what you did wrong and you can't answer my question. And that's real telling for a grown adult.

Okay. All right. Well, do you want me to start again or y'all just want somebody else to go?

I mean, it's only.

Cuz y'all trying to eat me up in the comment section and I don't want nobody focused on the comments. you should be focused on simply just answering my question and I mean you you you wanted to come up you requested up so I'm giving you the opportunity so I would hope that that's what you would want to do you would want to explain.

Okay, so I would get loud. I wouldn't like want to listen when it came to certain things. Um, I didn't give him his like I didn't give him the time to like actually correct stuff. I would like just be like, you know, forget it. I'mma do it. So yeah, I guess what he said basically toxicity and by the time I realized what was happening, the relationship was like already gone.

Okay, cool. Appreciate that. So that means that there's always two sides to a story. That's his side, your side, and and the truth. I'm not saying that you lying. I'm just saying that there's two sides to a story. So, we can't do in a situation where you was with a man for over a year and just be like, "Well, I left him because he did this. He did this. He did this. He did this." Okay, what did you do? And then you you couldn't answer. So, I'm glad that she was able to be an adult and be accountable and be responsible and say, "You know what? This is what I did, too." So, the point that I'm making is that's where the true healing come from. Like, it's easy to go to a relationship because your initial question was about how do you heal? It's easy to go into a relationship at the end of it and then be like, "All right, well, he did this to me. He did this to me, or he did this, and I didn't like this, so I need to heal from the fact that we broke up." No, you need to heal from not only that, sure, that may have hurt you, that may have fa made you feel away, but you also need to heal from your bad behaviors because this is what happens. Like, what you end up doing is you end up everything that you did that you that could have been wrong, you start to justify it. Well, he did me wrong. So everything that I did, well, it must have just made sense because he cheated on me. He lied to me. He did whatever. So everything that I did was whatever. And you take those same behaviors into the next man. And that's how trauma comes from. That's where the trauma comes from. And you don't even know where it come from. It's because you wasn't fully being accountable. And I had to realize this when I was young. And I ain't going to say I'm still young, but I had to realize this when I was younger. Like, you know what I'm saying? Early 20s. It's the women that didn't lied to me and did me wrong. And it's easy for me to be like, "Man, that man." Yeah. did. But I had to realize, well, why were they lying to me? Why? Why did this woman not be honest with me in this situation? It was because of things that I did, too, that led up to that point. So, I got to not only heal from the fact that I was lied to, cuz that hurt, but I got to also change my own behavior to make it sure that it doesn't happen again in the future. That's true accountability. So, it ain't do the thing that a lot of people do, women specifically. Oh, I just was dealing with the wrong person. No, mother, that person you was dealing with, so you ain't no different from them. People usually deal with each other. So it's bigger than just it's not me, it's him. It's it's always two sides to a situation. All I wanted you to do was be accountable. So those things that you mentioned, those are things you need to work on. Those are things that you need to fix. You need to like how you listening right now. You giving me the opportunity to explain myself and I gave you the opportunity to do that as well. That's good. You need to take that to your next relationship. But you have to heal from the pain that he caused you and the pain that you caused to add on to it as well. Cuz you ain't perfect. That's the only thing I want you to do. That's how you heal.

Thank you. said this is my actual this is my first real relationship like I am in like I'm 20 so this is like my first like actual like real relationship cuz I don't think that like high school is real shoot maybe even your early 20s might not be real but um it is something that I can take going into my next relationships and being like okay I learned this from a past relationship I ain't like the way that went so let me try to take a different approach.

That's the whole point absolutely Yeah, fixing yourself and uh you know maybe seeing certain red flags in the person that you deal with before and say you know what I dealt with that before I don't want to deal with that but I know that when I deal when I dealt with that I did this let me not operate in this way too. It's always two sides to the story.

Yeah. But thank you next person.

Appreciate you coming up. Good luck to you.

I don't real quick. Yeah. But repeat what I said. Accountability is like kryptonite for people in general, but it's more so embedded in modern women. Again, I can give an example. Even if a woman put her hands on me, I've never had a woman put her hands on me in my life, right? But if a woman was to ever put her hands on me, I would ponder after the fact and say, "What made this woman feel as though it was okay to do that?" Like, what what was I displaying to for her to feel like April, what's going on with you, sweetie? What what was I displaying to make her feel like I'm the type of dude that you could put your hands on and like be okay with, you feel me? Or like think that like this is something that's warranted, you know? That's not justifying what she did. It's not to say it's my fault that she did it, but it's to say it's terrible that that person did. You shouldn't ever put your hands on nobody, but it's to say like what what made her what made this 5 foot five, 135 pound woman think it was okay to throw a left hook at me? Like what what like what? Huh? You know what I'm saying? Like that's you know what I'm saying? So you got to reevaluate yourself. You know what I'm saying? You got to reevaluate yourself and say it's wrong that that person did that. They're terrible and they're not a good person. It's never justified. But it is to say that was it something that I was doing that led this person to believe that it was okay for them to do that to me and I was just going to just like you know what I'm saying? That's where the true accountability come from because you start to look at yourself and say, "Excuse me." Not that it's your fault, but you start to look at yourself and say, "Did I add on to it? Was it a level of behavior or a level of, you know what I'm saying? Like leadership as a man, I'm going to say leadership that I displayed that wasn't good enough that led to that coming about." You know what I'm saying? So, you know, that's the way I look at things. And and you got to look at that way toward you got to look at that way towards a lot of but most people don't do that because it's accountability. is like kryptonite for most mothers. They can't look in the mirror and realize that they were an accessory to the situation. You know, that's the real issue to mother. There's three categories that men put women in. Category one is sex only. You going to get hit and sent home. You're not going to stay over. You be lucky if you stay over and it's just going to be sex like it's booty call basically. Two is the one the one that women usually get into, which is the situationship. You dealing with the dude for a period of time. y'all having sex. It's moving like a relationship, but y'all actually are never officially together. And then number three is obviously you become a girlfriend. The relationship is clearly that y'all are together. And we know which category we going to put you in from day one. But the issue is you can only go down. You don't go up. That's the problem. And that's where most men, because men are liars, they not honest with women when they say that when they when they like speak about like where we at or where you at. You can only go down. You cannot go up. You don't go from from from one to three. You don't go from two to three. You only go from three to two to to 3 to one to to two to one. They don't they only go down, you know. So me and know very early on as soon as we talk to you, as soon as we see you, the first conversation from day one, we know what category we're going to put you in. And if you the next question is going to be, well, a how do you know you know what what category that you in? Like how do you you know how do you decipher the categories? Well, men know which category to put you in based on your presentation. The easiest thing that we could tell is our presentation. But unfortunately, when I speak on presentation, a lot of women say controlling narcissism, D narcissism, DL energy, small energy, broken energy. You can't handle a bad energy. So, uh, a lot of times y'all shame the very same things that men are going to base your value on as far as longevity. So when I say presentation, that means the people that you hang with. That means the way that you dress, that means your hairstyle, that means excessive makeup. That means excessive piercings. That means excessive tattoos, places that you go, drinking, smoking, stuff that you put into your body, the stuff that you say, the way that you operate in your everyday routine and what you do on an everyday basis. Me know just off your presentation where we going to deal with you or how we evaluating you. But again, when I mention those things, like I said, women say that it's insecure and controlling. So, you never can understand, well, damn, why do dudes just want to? Well, maybe having your bent over on your profile picture on social media ain't the thing that's going to make men see not maybe being half naked and, you know, having your titties hanging out in an outfit with real tight clothes on because you want sexual attention from men ain't the way to go about presenting yourself as a lady online. You have a couple goofy that go for women like that, but do those relationships typically last? They don't really last. And a lot of times the women don't even respect. And a man is easily moved by that. The same way he easily moved by you being hypersexual, he going to be easily moved by the next woman being hypersexual. So ladies, your presentation is exactly the type of woman that those men that you like, go for it. Which is not rare. It's very common to see that type of. So what you should do is you should put yourself in the light that's not seen like that. And you got to know that your man has a level of value where he g, you know, he won't he won't be so easily moved off of a woman offering herself to him, being hypersexual online, you know, and shout out to my guy Martz who mentioned this, man. Yo, your social media is your ID card. And the reason why I'm saying social media so much is because it's 2026. Most people do not meet and from a relationship standpoint uh through the traditional sense of being in person. Most people, most relationships, most marriages, people that y'all meet from online, whether that be Instagram, whether that be Tik Tok, Twitter, any social media app or a dating. You know what I'm saying? And so, and then you ain't going to find nobody valuable at no club and no bar. So, most of the time you meeting people online first, that initial conversation is online and then y'all may, you know, move it over to in person. Y'all go on a date, y'all see each other, whatever it may be. So, ladies, your presentation is very important. What you present is very important. So, make sure that you understand that men are looking at you and they're going to see what you present and they going to deal with you accordingly. But this the difference though, ladies. Men are liars. They will sleep with you knowing they don't want to be with you and waste your time. This is why y'all get confused. This is why y'all never understand like what's man's true intentions because he will buy you the flowers. He'll take you on dates. He'll talk to you on the phone. He'll tell you everything that you need to hear. He'll let you do whatever. But eventually, you're going to start to realize that it's just Man, I don't think women realize how hard it is for men to have sex. Y'all think a lot of dudes is having sex. They really not. They most men don't have consistent sex. Most men have to struggle to get sex. They have to go out of their way to get sex. Which is why lying is the easier thing to do. I will argue like 85 to 90% of men do not get consistent sex. So yeah, the 62 dark skin. You like, "Yeah, he get lightkinned with the tattoos." That's a play for the Panthers. Yeah, he got busy. But look at most of the dudes that hit you up, ladies. Most of them you don't even respond to. That's the average man. So with that being the case, most of those men are going to do what's easy. Let me tell you what you want to hear so that I can eventually. And if that mean I got to deal with you for a year, 6 months, two years to keep you around so I can keep getting some consistent [ __ ] I'm going to do that until I find a woman that's better than you or until I come across or until I realize the fact that I'm just done with you. You know what I'm saying? Or until you realize that I'm never taking you seriously. That's usually how these things go. So, I'm telling women the blueprint on how men operate so y'all can understand male nature because y'all are not taught male nature when y'all young. Women are usually taught what to expect from a man. Y'all are not taught what a man is going to expect out of you. And that's why the confusion comes when you get older because you can't realize why dudes just want to you. So, I'm giving you all the game and giving you all the blueprint on male nature and how most men operate in the dating market in 2026. And it ain't nothing new. It's just we got the internet now so you can hear people talk about. So I'm just giving y'all ladies some games y'all can understand. And I say the same exact to my mother daughter when I eventually have one. If I eventually have a daughter. I'm going to give my daughter the game when she young. I'm not about to wait until she 22 and then six bodies in like most of y'all and then be like, "Okay, this is how men are." Now you supposed to realize that when you young before you even get with men, you know, but that's just me.

Hello.

What's going on?

Um, can you hear me clearly?

Yeah, I can.

Um, so I heard you talking about like, you know, the categories or whatever. Um, what men put the three categories and stuff. And um, I'm talk I was I've been talking to this guy for almost 3 months. Um, the first time we start cuz we're long distance. He lives in a whole different state than I do and he lives like over 10 hours from me. the first time we started talking, within like 10 days of us talking, he came out to see me um and spent like 5 days with me before going back. And um he told me that he wanted to officially ask me to be his girl, but and I never questioned like the time that he was planning to do that. We didn't have sex. We didn't do anything. like it's been all types of good communication and everything, but he still hasn't like gave me that official answer. And I'm wondering like if he is waiting until we have sex or if he's waiting to see me again. Like I don't know what's the hold up.

Wait, I thought you said I might have heard you incorrectly. I thought you just said that he he did say he wanted that about the official relationship. I might have heard you incorrectly.

No, I said that he he came out to see me like when we first started talking and stuff. I mean, he did say he wanted um a relationship and stuff, but he didn't make it official. He didn't make it official.

Okay. So, how many times have y'all seen each other?

Well, we only seen each other once.

Okay. So, that's probably why. You got to understand with the long distance thing, y'all. I mean, y'all been talking three months, but y'all only seen each other one time, even though it was 5 days. But at the end of the day, it's not been a consistent time until y'all been seeing each other. So that's going to make that make that, you know, that likelihood of y'all being together a lot longer. It's going it's going it's basically it's going to, you know, make the time longer. I'm trying to think of the word that I'm looking for, but I can't get off the top of my the tip of my tongue. But it's going to make it uh longer for the fact that y'all, you know, not together yet. So, I I think that you shouldn't rush it, but I think it's a conversation that y'all need to have, but you should ask him like what is he like as far.

As like y'all getting together? Is there do you feel like we on that track or do you feel like you know we need to see whatever it is?

>> Prolong. Thank you, Rock. I mean to cut you off simply. Prolong was what I was looking for. I don't know why I couldn't think of the word. Go ahead. My fault. I was going to say, yeah, I did ask him um about that. And again, he did tell me um the same thing that he said when we first started talking. He is looking for a real relationship. He's not looking for somebody to vibe with or nothing like that. Like I said, like communication is consistent. We are always on calls. We text throughout the day. And we are planning to see each other um soon after the 4th of July. So, um,

>> when y'all see each other, are y'all like like staying together, like sleeping in the same bed or y'all just in the same city?

>> So, so the first time that he came out to come see me, I I went over to his hotel, we watched movies, we ate, but again, like we didn't do anything. Like, we spent time together all while he was here. But I'm just thinking in the back of my head like maybe he is waiting for sex, but I don't want to like have sex with a guy.

>> Doesn't cuff a woman for sex. So, I hope you know that we don't be with you just like we're not going to take you seriously because you you you gave us sex or didn't give us sex or if the sex was whatever. As long as it don't smell bad down there, but men don't cuff women because of sex. If that was the case, every woman that we slept with, we would be with, we don't cuff you because of sex. We cuff you based on your behavior outside of the bedroom. We cuff you based on your behavior outside of us. So, you know, that shouldn't be the thing that you even thinking about is sex. If you don't want to sleep with him, I mean, you well within your right to not give him no Gucci. Uh, but I mean, I'll tell you this, most men ain't going to want to wait too long.

>> But, I mean, if you saying that the communication is still good and y'all still been locked in and it's still been a consistent thing, I think you should keep going. I mean, 3 months, but y'all only seen each other

>> uh one time. That's not that's not that much of, you know, a connection. At least not in person. So, I think you need to just keep going with the relationship and just keep rocking out. That's what I think you need to do. Let me ask you this though. Has he has he ever asked you any questions about your history as as far as a woman? Like, you know, how you grew up, past relationship? Has he ever asked you any of those type of questions?

>> Um Um So, he he shared his personal like life with me and he has

>> I'm asking has he asked you about your own personal life and like that?

Yeah, he has asked me about my personal life as far as like how I grew up or if my dad was in my life or not, but that's as much as he he shares more than he asks to be honest. But those are the two things that he did ask.

>> Okay, that's good that he asked you about your father cuz men usually ask those type of questions if they seeing some type of longevity there. Now, let me ask you this though. Has he has he been territorial at all? Like has he asked questions about your female friends? Maybe you said you was going somewhere. Has he questioned you about maybe where you was going or what you going to be wearing or anything like that? Has he ever done that?

>> Um, I would say I don't I I didn't see much of a territorial side to him, but um he he does stress a lot about like the certain friends that he does not want me to hang around.

>> That's territory and stuff like that.

>> That's that's territory. That's that's another example of it.

>> Yeah. But it's not he doesn't do it often. But yeah.

>> Okay. Well, that's a green flag that he's asking about certain things and he's worried about the friends that you around. Men don't give a about your friends if we don't see you for a long term. So, that's a good sign. Now, I'm not saying he want to be your husband. I'm not saying that. I'm not telling you what's going on in his brain. I'm just looking at, you know, basically the things that you telling me and I'm making a conclusion based on, you know, the stuff that you telling me. Y'all been consistently talking. There's been no real issues. It don't seem like and he's asked you certain questions. But the thing is y'all only seen each other one time and it's been three months. I mean I can't tell you what's going on in his brain but I would lean more towards the fact that he probably do want to be serious and it's a good thing that he asking about your friends like that and you should listen to him. You should listen to him if he has a suggestion and say hey look this woman that's around you is not good. A man is a is supposed to be a leader and a leader is not always he tall and pay for stuff and he can beat everybody up. That's not what comes with leadership only. Leadership is also making sure that the woman that's next to him is operating on code to what he sees as his program. So if he sees a woman around you is not a good woman that you need to have around you, you should probably take heed to what he's saying.

>> So,

>> and I'm going to tell you this too, the next time you see him, make him a meal. Cook be be of of of of a as cooking and cleaning should come before sucking a

>> So there you go.

>> Okay. Thank you.

>> You're welcome. Good luck to you and I appreciate you coming up.

>> What's going on?

>> Peace, King. I was just hopping on to give you your flowers, bro. I know. Um you you not even in your 30s yet, huh?

>> No, I'm not.

>> Yeah, you um you mature for your age and you're ahead of the game and there's not many like you. So, keep doing your, bro. We appreciate you.

>> I appreciate that, family. Much respect to you. Much love to you for that. Yes, sir. For sure.

>> Shout out to him, man. Much love to you, bro. Excuse me. Not the middle finger. I ain't peep. I did that. My [ __ ] She talking about not the middle finger being the number one. I ain't even peep. I did that. My [ __ ] I a peep that.

>> Hey, I just came up here. I don't need no advice. I just came up here to tell you I like your content. You be giving out good, you know, advice and like you just was talking about about the money and the women and all that stuff. Women do ask for a lot and they don't bring it to the table. You ain't never lied about that part, you know. So yeah, I really ain't want no advice. I just came on here to tell you I like your content and I will continue, you know, to share your stuff and support your stuff and that's it.

>> Thank you.

>> Keep doing your Is it Kalia? Kayla. Kalia.

>> Yes, ma'am. Kalia, you got it right the first time. At least you got it right. People always say that like your name Kayla. No, it's Kalia.

>> For sure.

>> Yep. You got it right.

>> Well, I appreciate you coming on. Much love.

>> All right. Thank you.

>> For sure. Shout out to her. Thank you for the support. What's going on?

>> Hello. Can you hear me?

>> Yeah, we can hear you. What's going on?

>> Hi. Good afternoon.

>> Likewise. Um,

>> I just have a few questions. So, I've been married for 10 years.

>> Respectfully, there is a rule that we have. No smoke alarm beeps on my live. You can't have a a profile picture that's not yourself. And your smoke alarm cannot be beeping. Everybody knows that's my rule. Your smoke alarm is beeping. I can't bring you up here to talk. Respectfully, work on cuz you ain't where you need to be.

>> Oh. Oh.

>> Hi. How are you?

>> I'm good. So, how does it not make sense? You You said I should not be worried about a woman cheating on me if I'm really him. So obviously that has a that has

>> hold on.

>> Uhhuh.

>> That has a threshold.

>> My dog was barking.

>> Okay. That has a threshold and levels to it. Correct.

>> Correct.

>> So that means that there's levels of high things I shouldn't be worried about and low things I shouldn't be worried about. Right.

>> Correct.

>> So if you're saying that I'm really him, I shouldn't have to worry. If I'm really him, I shouldn't have to worry about a woman cheating on me. then I should be okay with my woman going and having fun with her ex because I don't have that's not what I said.

>> I didn't say what you said. I didn't say this what you said. I'm giving you an example because your logic has to apply across the board. So if you say if you a man and you're really him, whatever that means, you shouldn't have to worry about a woman cheating on you. So by your logic, anything that she does will be acceptable because I'm just supposed to not worry about her cheating on me because I'm him. So I'm taking your logic and taking it to the extreme of course but I'm seeing if your logic is going to apply with that extreme but your logic is not going to apply with that extreme. So your logic is not

>> what I'm saying is you are basing dating a whole genre of women based on her career because they have a high probability of cheating.

>> Exactly.

>> That's what you're saying. Yeah. You're saying that's saying

>> I'm sorry.

>> So you're saying that that's incorrect.

>> That's wrong. What what I'm say what I'm saying is if you really him, you shouldn't you shouldn't decide that I'm not going to date this entire group of women because the probability that they might cheat.

>> Okay. So, let's use your logic across the board even when it comes to a man. Is there a career path that a man would have that you wouldn't talk to because there's a probably high likelihood that he would cheat?

>> I think 80% of all men cheat.

>> That's not what I asked

>> cuz men and

>> I didn't ask you that question. I asked you about a job. But men and women are not the same.

>> You're right. Men and women are not the same. So that would prove my point even more.

>> So I'm asking you again. I'm asking you the question again. Is there a job career path or career path that a man would choose that you will not deal with because it's a high chance of him cheating?

>> Yes.

>> So are you so then?

>> But I also said men and women are not the same.

>> But cheating can but we're talking about cheating. Cheating across the board is is the same. It's wrong. Cheating is not a good thing that you should do.

>> Correct. But men and women are not the same. Men and women are not the I'mma give you an example. Would you take a woman back for cheating on you?

>> No, I would not.

>> Most women do.

>> We're not. But that's not the argument. The argument is about cheating.

>> And I'm saying men and women are not the same.

>> I understand women and men and women are not the same. The argument. Do you not Are you not Maybe you doing a lot in the background so you're not following what I'm saying. Do you know that you're moving the argument somewhere else that has nothing to do with the topic that we talking about? Because there are men who take women back for cheating so that it would cancel out on both ends. That's not an argument that you just gave. It would cancel out on both ends. Whether a woman took a man back or didn't or if a man took a woman back and didn't, that thing would cancel out. So that's not an argument.

>> What I'm saying, I'm gonna go back to the beginning. The beginning is you are saying you are not going to date entire group of women.

>> I would not date a stripper. No, I wouldn't date a stripper.

>> Well, you said nurses. You said nurses.

>> It doesn't matter. You The logic is not about the job. Des what the job is. The logic is what this job that this woman does something I wouldn't date.

>> That's the logic. So, it doesn't matter what field it is. You're saying that it's wrong to not date an entire group of women based on their career path. So whether the crew craft was nursing, whether it was being a stripper, whether she was a a prostitute, whether she was selling a sex worker in Vegas, it doesn't matter because I'm saying that I wouldn't date a woman like that. You're saying that that's wrong because if I'm really him, I shouldn't be worried about her cheating on me cuz I'm not really her.

>> I'm saying no, no, no, that that's totally different.

>> No, it's not different. the issue the the logic is not the logic does not stay with you. You're falling away from the logic. The logic is the job this the career path. So it don't matter what the career path is. Whether she was a teacher or a stripper whether she was a a a nurse or or or or a veterinarian. The career path don't matter. You said that there's something wrong with not dating a woman who has a career path because if I'm really him, I shouldn't be worried about her career path and the likelihood of her cheating on me. So, I'm giving you a career path that is a that that is still within your logic. So, a sex worker like a stripper would still be within your logic.

>> Correct.

>> Okay. So, okay then. So, am I wrong? Answer the

>> takes off her clothes.

>> It's because she takes off her clothes. It's because it's morally I don't think it's morally okay. And it's because she has men that she actively has to deal with outside of me that would be a higher chance of her getting into getting into into a situation where she would commit infidelity and cheat because she literally has to steal her body to make money.

>> And I understand that. That's very much understandable. So apply that to

>> So that means you don't believe what you say then.

>> No, apply that to nursing.

>> That means you don't believe what you say. I can apply to nursing when you have to work a long job for for for hours certain day because a nurse is a nurse is not a 9 to-ive job. Usually nurses have to work around the clock or sometimes you work on call but usually nurses have to work long hours. So in those long hours where you're not really allowed to be on your phone. You have a lot of intimate intertimate dealings with other male nurses or doctors or other men in the work field and you deal with those men every single day

>> and it's something that's a little bit more it's an intimate setting. And again, the stats don't You don't have to listen to me. The stats prove what I'm saying. Do you know the career path that women who are most likely to commit infidelity are in? Do you know?

>> It's actually stay at home wives.

>> It's nur No, it's not. It's nurses. It's not stay at home wives. It's nurses.

>> Mhm. Okay.

>> It's nurses.

>> Okay.

>> So, so I mean, what do the stats say? So if if the stats literally tell me if the stats tell me that nursing is the number one career path that women commit the most infidelity in I'm not him if I don't want to deal with a woman that's a nurse.

>> I just don't believe all nurses are cheap.

>> I didn't say all nurses cheat. Who said anything about all nurses? Now you're moving the goalpost and being illogical. I never said all anything. It's about probability and likelihood. You could be a stripper and not necessarily cheat, but the likelihood of you cheating is going to go up because that woman is a stripper.

>> Yeah. To the people. Yes, I am a nurse. The people keep asking.

>> So, so you're taking it from an emotional place, which is typical with most women. I didn't say you.

>> I'm taking it personally. Not emotionally. Taking it personally, but being that you that would be the same thing. You emotionally taking it. You're taking it from an emotional place because it it it correlates to you. your job description that you're in.

>> You your women like yourself who are in that job description have a higher probability of cheating than any other woman.

>> That's the truth. Sorry to tell you.

>> Did you say so?

>> It's not if I say so. It's the truth. In fact, it's not if I say so.

>> I'm not saying so. It's not something I just made up. This is actual proof and studies to prove all of this.

>> Okay. Okay.

>> So, tell me where I'm incorrect at. Tell me where I'm wrong at.

>> I mean, I just know many I I know a lot of nurses. I've been a travel nurse for a long time. I worked in a field 11 years.

>> So So what?

>> I don't cheat. I don't cheat.

>> I didn't say you. This is the problem with women. This is the problem with women. And the most y'all have no y'all have no y'all can't get out of your own emotions. I'm not talking about you. Nobody said Stephanie, remove yourself from the equation. If somebody says black men are a higher black men have a higher chance of committing a crime than other men in America, does that mean that I'm a black man that's going to commit a crime? No. But black men have a higher chance of committing crime. Now, there's reasons for that. Like systematic and people living in poverty and things like that, but I don't have to take that personally because it's true.

>> It's true.

>> Okay.

>> Okay.

>> Black men don't make the same amount of money compared to the white men, Asian men, or other races of men. I think we only go past Hispanic men, and that might not even be true. Does that mean that I have to take it personally? The truth is the truth. Now, there's reasons for that, but at the end of the day, it's still facts. Black men don't make as much money as white men. That doesn't mean, well, that's not true, cuz I'm a black man and I make six figures, which I do. That doesn't mean that that like it applies to me, though. It's speaking from a a likelihood and probability perspective. So, because you're overly emotional, you don't know how to take yourself out of the equation. The stats is the is the is the the truth is the truth. Stephanie, female nurses are the highest have the highest chance of cheating of any other any other career path that women choose. Sorry to tell you.

>> If you say so.

>> Why do you keep saying if I say so? It's true.

>> Because you're the one saying it.

>> Because it's stats to prove it. Would you like me to look it up and show you?

>> If you want to. If you would like.

>> I mean, are you are you saying that you disagree with it?

>> I don't agree with it.

>> Okay. So, are you saying that you don't agree with this the study and the stats that prove it, right? Sounds like she dropped down or she's about to cuz she swiped out of the app. Women are delusing her, bro. This is why they don't need to be voting. All right. Uh, let's see. Let's pull this up for y'all. Yeah, she she she can't she can't uphold her own talking point. That's why she swiped out.

>> No, I swiped out to look it up.

>> And what did you look it up and what did it say?

>> Oh. We wait. We We're waiting. Stephanie, we're waiting.

>> Hear me? You can't hear me?

>> No. When you swipe out, we can't hear you.

>> Oh, okay. I'm sorry. I'm No, it said finance and healthcare.

>> So, that would be the medical field. Who are the majority of women in healthcare? Yes. What? What? What job?

>> Nurses. Yes. Nurses and doctors.

>> So then So then what are you disagreeing with?

>> I guess I'm not disagreeing with anything.

>> So you're just up here to just babble and talk just to be just you just the need to be right.

>> No, I'm just

>> And you're right. It does. It says number one is medicine and healthcare. Number two is education. Number three is finance. Number four is social work. Number five is retail. Number six is it.

>> I just think people gonna cheat if they want to cheat. It has nothing to do with what they do for a living.

>> Well, it actually does have things to do with their living because what you do for a living can lead you to more being more likely to cheat. So, it does have it does have a factor of what you do for a living. But yeah, there are outliers where a woman could be a nurse and not cheat. We speaking on probability. Nobody said all nurses cheat. You said that. You trying to push that. I ain't say none of that. you. So that's that sounds like a generalization and average. Would you consider yourself to be an average person?

>> What what sounds like a generalization and average?

>> That's statistic. That's a generalization, right? No, it's not.

>> Would that be considered a generalization?

>> You don't know what a generalization is. What is a generalization?

>> It's a generalized statement. Isn't that like a generalized statement?

>> No. General doesn't mean all. General means most likely.

>> So you don't know what general means? General means above 50. No, you're not correct. All

>> you just said when I said listen to me because you're not following what I'm saying. General and all are not the same thing. All means an absolute.

>> All of us will die one day. That's not a general statement. But some people mo most people are are going to die around the age of 80. That's a general statement because the life expectancy is around 80 years old.

>> Do you understand the difference? Yes.

>> Okay. Then so when someone says that the that that nurses have the highest probability of cheating, that doesn't mean all nurses cheat. Or does that mean that the generalization of nurses cheat? Meaning at least 50% of nurses cheat. It means that they have the higher probability to cheat in this career path.

>> I hear you.

>> So can you can you do you understand what I'm saying or you just saying that because you losing me?

>> The logic is not I don't know if the logic is saying what you I I understand what you're saying.

>> What am I saying?

>> I understand what you're saying.

>> What am I saying?

>> You're saying that nurses have a higher probability of cheating because they work long hours. They're around doctors, high earning men,

>> etc., etc., they're stressed out. So, she has a higher probability of cheating

>> comparative to other comparative to

>> comparative to other career fields.

>> Yeah. Now, does that mean that in general nurses cheat or does that mean that all nurses cheat? No, no, it doesn't.

>> It means that they're just more prone to because of the the career field that they're in. There you go.

>> Okay.

>> I understand.

>> Thank you. You see ladies, what happens when you be quiet and listen and I It's crazy though because women like no disrespect to her, but like women who talk like that and think like that, they have these same arguments when they listen when they start arguing with their man. and they man be 100% right and they be 100% wrong and they'll still argue back and forth with the [ __ ] and it'll be a whole argument and they get to talking to their female friends and girl he and the female friends be like girl you know he ain't and they be generally thinking that they be right. He don't let me listen. No, you're just wrong. It's not about I'm not not listening to you. You're incorrect and you think you correct because you going to be quiet. This is how what y'all just saw right there y'all is what a lot of men have to go through. Now, I'm not saying all men be right. Hell no. Cuz you know, you got to add that caveat cuz you trying to say all men all way right. No, nobody said that. But what you just saw right there is an example, and no disrespect to her, but how she probably has dealt with or or conversations that she's had with men that she's been in a situation with. And it's just the arguing back and forth and the combiveness and you're wrong. You're not correct. And you're still arguing while being wrong. And in their head, they generally believe that they right and they're just not right. They're incorrect logically, factually, statistically wrong. And they just argue back and forth about [ __ ] for all day. It's it's crazy to me. It's wild to me that that so many women operate like that, man. This is why I say all the time, men need to be leading. Women don't need to lead. Why don't need to vote? Shout out to G with the $10 donation. I appreciate you. We going to call it after that, though, y'all. We going to call it after that. That's the That's That's the end of the line right there. And we ain't even really getting no don for real. Oh, G, you sent another 10. I appreciate too, brother. Shout out to G with the $20 actually, not just the 10. But we going to go ahead and just get off of that, y'all. And it's too cuz Stephanie actually fine. But illusional. Anyway, I appreciate y'all coming through though, man. We gonna go ahead and get off. I appreciate y'all coming through to the live. Um, generally speaking, this generation of men don't talk like this. I agree with you. Appreciate y'all coming through to the live. Most men are delusional as well. Appreciate y'all coming through the live. Thank y'all for supporting the content. We ain't get that many donors today, but regardless, I appreciate y'all coming through. Shout out to y'all. Uh, jokes aside, go to my my YouTube. We just passed 51,000 subscribers. We on the way to get 100K. I just got on here. They weren't showing a little, so I got to call it. I've been on here for like two and a half hours. But go to my YouTube, subscribe to the YouTube channel. There's 430 of y'all in here. Everybody that that don't know, I do not post content on Tik Tok. So when y'all see content on here, it is not being posted by me. I don't post no content on TikTok. All the content that y'all see on here is fully and strictly from people posting my If you want to book a private consultation because you don't want your business out there relationship wise, go to my hit the link in my bio and you can donate to my uh my not donate. Why am I saying donate? You can book a session with me personally. You got to download the app though. The app is called the link in the bio will take you there. You can download the app and you could you can book a session and uh again like I said go to subscribe to my YouTube and that's it. This the only account that I got. I got a backup page but my backup page ain't nothing on there. This the main account that I got. Appreciate y'all. Love y'all. Y'all have a great rest of your day. And when you come back on probably tomorrow, I don't know. But I'll see you though, man. I love you. Appreciate y'all. Appreciate y'all. Bye bye. Patreon got the full live. I'll post this on Patreon. I'll post it on Patreon. So, just be on the lookout for that. Appreciate y'all. Boy. Boy. Hey, LB just saved y'all and Carmen. LB just saved y'all and Carmen. I was literally about I done hit the button. I was literally about to hit the N out button. You l Boy. LB with the $100 donation. Y'all lucky. Y'all lucky. And Carmen with the $10. LB, I love you, girl. Thank you so much. and Karma with the $10 donation. Y'all lucky as hell. I ain't going to lie. Y'all lucky. Y'all lucky. I made about skinny old T. I about to hit that button. I was ready to get off. Elmer is crazy. This Elmer LB just say L. L. Shout out to LB with the $100 donation. LB, I appreciate you. I'll stay on a little bit longer. And thank Carmen, too. Carmen sent $10. Shout out to Carmen with the donation as well. Y'all lucky about to get off. Oh, Ly's here. How you doing?

>> Hey, how are you?

>> I'm doing good.

>> Somebody told me I'm catch up because of what I commented and said that my man is about to leave me because he says I get I get in my own way.

>> Okay. Why? Why?

>> He's a he's he's a very uh progressional person. He's worked on himself a lot. He feel like um he just feels as though I'm smart enough and intelligent enough to want more and to grow from certain things that have enabled me throughout my life and that I'm a procrastinator and I don't do it. And before, you know, he's setting himself up to the best wife and the best mother of his children cuz he has none. and he just feel like I'm not I am a procrastinator. I can't take accountability. I I don't I haven't recognized this amount of peace in my life. So my nervous system is like digesting it. But if I say that to him, he'll say facts. Like it's not about I understand it, but you have to do it for you. if you do it for me, it won't matter as much.

>> You know, it's just weird. He said, I don't recognize my self worth. I don't, you know, I'm sure he's right. I know he's right, but it's scary. It's very scary.

>> What's scary, though? What's What's scary?

>> Um, the uncomfortability of having to change certain things. Um, when you've been through certain things. Um,

>> I think it's even more

>> trauma. I think,

>> you know, like certain trauma.

>> I think it's even more scary. He is. Yo.

>> Well, I I think it's even more scary being stuck where you at and not wanting to change cuz that

>> Right. That's what he was saying.

>> Yeah. So,

>> it is though. No, seriously. He makes me have a different outlook on life.

>> Fly, fly, fly. Hold on. Are you reading the comments while we talking?

>> Um,

>> you got to focus on me, sweetie. You reading the comments and I'm in the middle of talking. Just focus on me. The comments is the comments, but we you having a combo. If you being in the comments, it's not going to help. not listening to what I'm saying.

>> But respectfully, uh, but yeah, I think it's even worse if you kind of stay exactly where you at mentally. So, I think the best thing for you to do is if that's your man and he want to see you be better, then take heed to his word. He not telling you nothing that's going to hurt you or harm you. He only telling you things to to to bring you to righteousness. That's what a man supposed to do.

>> Absolutely. And it's weird because I know I'm contradicting myself, but I would follow him blind. I'm just afraid of the outcome.

>> So that I mean sure, but you have no outcome right now,

>> right?

>> So the best thing to do is follow whatever he telling you. I mean, what is it exactly? Is it like working on your your your I don't know your your mental, control your emotions?

>> Yes. Yes. It's it's really about See, the thing is is he love me as I am, but he feel like I'm going be real with y'all cuz you know I'm going be real with y'all. He feel like although I'm I'm well proportionate, he feel like hey I lack self-esteem because of my weight because these are the things that I

>> because these are the things that I discussed with him. These are not things that he has pointed out.

>> So his problem is I don't it's not a problem but it can be to a default. His thing is if you tell him something and he loves and cares about you enough, he's then going to want you to work through those things and he's going to

>> Yeah.

>> Yeah. Exactly. That's what he's supposed to do. So

>> you and and I think it's great that he mentioned that cuz I always mention this with women when they come on my live and they be like, "Oh, I lost a lot of weight or you know what should I do as a big girl?" And I always say like you don't lose weight for the man, you lose weight number one for yourself because your health. I've never seen an obese 70 year old,

>> right?

>> There aren't none. Most people that are obese, like morbidly obese or they just big, they gonna die around 4050. They going to start having those health ailments and then by by the time they in their mid late 50s, they they not going to they not going to live long. You know what I'm saying? They be lucky to hit 60. I've never seen an obese 70 year old. So your your your focus needs to be your health so you can live long. So you can be there for your children and grandchildren if you if you if you want some. And for you to just feel better. Again, we still ain't even mentioned a man yet. For you to feel better, you feel more comfortable. You wear different type of clothes. You feel more free. You want to do more things. You you can run and you can like going to the gym is is like the best form of therapy. In my opinion, I think it's better than actually going to talk to somebody because you get to really get all that stuff out of you. You know what I'm saying? So, that can be your your your safe haven. It's where you feel you finally can feel free. You know what I'm saying? And then then it's like, well, you get to look good for your man. your man could continue to be attracted to you. And not to get too bogger, but you know, sex is better when people are in shape.

>> Sex is better like that. So, I think that you should that should be something that you should focus on. Like, start off with your diet. Your diet is the main thing. You know, you need to do things with your diet. Making sure that you're at a caloric deficit. You can still eat foods that you like. You just need to have a little

>> No, you sound just like them. I didn't mean to say ill in a bad way. It just was crazy.

>> Well, that's a good thing. That mean he probably saying something that's right. Make sure if you at a caloric deficit, start off with your diet. 90% of somebody being in and out of shape is their diet. It's not going to the gym. You can not go to the gym and eat right and lose weight and have a six-pack. Real um you may not be pack on a lot of muscle, but you could be in shape as a person who don't go to the gym if you just

>> And it's really only like he say it all the time like it's not that you need to be like super small. Like I wouldn't advise you to lose more than 50 lbs. And we've been together y'all for a year now. And he just brought this up. He said 50 pounds and you talk about it consistently and haven't stayed or did anything consistently for over a year now like and and but you still keep talking about it

>> and that's why you think that makes me sense

>> that's the worst part though because anybody talk about what they going to do and then don't do it that's makes it worse. You know what I'm saying? So

>> I think that this is the conversation that you need to have. You needed to I'm glad you came up here and I appreciate you being honest. I appreciate you being open and public about it, but it's 257 people in here. So, they all hearing you say this. That is like you. I mean, I'mma probably it's going to go on my YouTube channel. Not your face or your name, but it's going to go on my YouTube channel. The conversation

>> people going to hear this. So, like

>> lock in. Like, what's stopping you? What's stopping you? Nothing is stopping you but yourself. Lock in.

>> Nothing but me, y'all. It's nothing. Nothing but me. Not even the people around me. Like, everybody encourages me. I have a good flock of people. Is that disappointing where sometimes I sit back and I look like, damn, I'm the damage crop. Like, you know what I'm saying? Like,

>> that's good though. That's the accountability. That's where you could change. So, right there, you said you afraid of change. That's right there is a start of change. Realizing that maybe I'm a problem and then do things differently. So, focus on your health. Health as well. That's that simple. Listen to your man.

>> Yeah. cuz I think after it was and he's afraid that um like I think he gets upset because he finds me being insecure without reasoning and I don't have any reason and I don't so he know it's a lack of self-esteem and self- loveve like you know what I'm saying

>> and he doesn't want that to cause us to break up over nothing like you know

>> yeah so listen to him go ahead you got you on the path you got to do you just got to implement

>> and nobody going to stop you but you and what you don't want is to get too and then be like, I wish I could have, I should have, I would have.

>> You don't want to speak from past tense. You want to speak in present tense. I did. I do. You know what I mean?

>> Right. Absolutely.

>> So, that's it.

>> Thank y'all.

>> You're welcome. And good luck.

>> This is a good step for me. I'm so I do not share things with people.

>> Well, we glad you did.

>> But thank y'all. Thank y'all for being nice in the comments, too.

>> For sure. For sure. Good luck to you. And I wish you the best. Good luck to her. lock in and go today. If wherever you at, you can go to the gym right now. Go go go for a walk. Walk for 5,000 steps. That seems like a lot. It's not a lot. Walk for 5,000 steps. Listen to your music. Go walk. Listen to a podcast. Go walk. Like just go walk. Walk and burn a lot of calories. Just go walk. Walk for an hour. Like go walk up and down the street for an hour. You know what I'm saying? Go do that. I do weighted vest walks all the time. I do all the time. Go walk. That's it. 100%. What's up?

>> Hey, real quick. There was something that she said um about the uh she's just not sure about falling or whatever it was. So, I just want to say for everyone in here,

>> as men, we don't even know. Like, we have a plan, but we don't even have a guarantee with our plans that are going to work out. All we have is just the opportunity to see where it goes. And if it pops or, you know, if it succeeds, great. If it doesn't, we're not going to sit around crying about, well, this didn't work out, so I'm going to just, you know, call it quits and then sit on my ass all day. No. If you want to take a ride with us and and join the journey, that's great and all, but we don't have a for sure answer to everything. Like he did say yesterday, we don't have the answers to everything. We don't. We can only go off of what we think we know and what we possibly exper what we experience and what we are ready to experience of the unknown. And that's just the journey of being a man. If you're willing to go ahead and take those unknown adventures and hope the best comes out of the situation, okay, let's do it. But if you're not, then hey, don't hold them back. But, you know, show some support. But that's just what it comes down to. We don't know for sure if things are going to work out in our favor as well. But all we can do is attempt to make the effort and try. That's it. That's it.

>> 100%. Appreciate you, Montes. Shout out to my guy, Montes.

>> What's good?

>> What's going on?

>> What's good? I just wanted to come up here and uh ask your opinion on this, you know, building. Should I should a man wait until he's established to start dating or is that something you can do while you are still building given that this man is financially stable in terms of like, you know, three to six months of savings already? If you find a good woman, yes, if you find a good woman, and I said a good woman, not a regular little, if you find a good woman that you know is going to lock in with you for that time, patient, then yeah. But if you know that the broad ain't wait until you get time and wait till you get your together, wait. It's better for you to wait. But if you find a good woman, sure.

>> All right. And when you say about finding one if like I just happen to come say I'm in the grocery store say if I come across one or is this why you actively dating and ordering different people?

>> Well you I would hope that as a man you wouldn't be actively dating too many women if you don't got your together. You know what I'm saying? Cuz it's nothing but that's it ain't going to do nothing but bring you down. It's going to be a distraction. Not saying that you can't date. You know what I'm saying? Even when I ain't have it, I would still date women here and there. But I wasn't too pressed though. Like I knew like it's a time that I got to build up. I got to get my together. So for me, you know, or not for me, but for for anybody, I should say, as a man, if you find a good woman, a really good woman that you know is going to be dying for you during that time, for sure. Grow with her and build with her. But if you ain't really if you questioning that, wait till you get to where you need to be cuz then you'll have to pick it up later.

>> All right. I wanted to make sure I wasn't cuz uh I only said that cuz my mom said I was getting too fixating on career career stuff, you know, cuz last year and this I know

>> No, no disrespect to you.

>> I'm not no.

>> Go ahead. Go ahead.

>> Yeah. Yeah. Go ahead. Go ahead.

>> No, no. Yeah. And I was as I was explaining to her cuz last year, you know, I was financially bad. So, I stayed down, built up six months of, you know, savings. And now my she says that excuse. I said I'm still not dating because I want to make sure I'm where I want to be. I want to be more established in my career field.

>> How old are you?

>> I'm old and I'm 27, son.

>> You 27? Why are you listening to your mama about women? Your mama's no disrespect to your mother. I'm sure she's a great woman. Your mama going to be delusional when it come to women, bro. I don't listen to my mother about women. Your mother doesn't know what she's talking about. My mama don't know what she talking about. You don't listen to your mom about women. Your mother don't know what the hell she talking about.

>> Yeah.

girl. >> Bro, no. You 27. You not even in your prime yet. When do you think, let me ask you this, when do you think a man's prime is, bro?

>> 30, 35 in our age.

>> Mid30s, bro. Mid30s is a man's prime. Early to mid30s. And it can last as long as you want. If you keep yourself together and [ __ ] it could drop off. And just cuz you in that age group don't mean you a top tier man. But that's what your 20s is for. Your 20s is for building yourself up. So by the time you 32, 34, you you able to have a pick of a litter. Because you can not only date women your age, but you can also date women that's in their 20s. You know what I'm saying? So you 27, bro. You ain't even in your prime yet. I ain't even in my my prime yet. We both in our 20s, bro. You got plenty of time, man. I listen to your mama. Your mama don't know what you're talking about. No disrespect to her, by the way. But your mama don't know what you're talking about.

>> N that's a speaking real.

>> All right. I appreciate that.

>> For sure. You got plenty of time, bro. Appreciate you for coming up. And good luck to you. You got plenty of time, my [ __ ]

>> And you got plenty time, bro. Your mama Your mama being your mama. That's what she supposed to do. Your mama gone, you know. But nah, bro. What's up, Scott? How you doing?

>> Hey Ann, I'm doing good. Congrat Congratulations on 50k.

>> Appreciate that. Thank you, Scott. Thank you for that. What's going on?

>> All right. So, I wanted to play devil's advocate for a minute. So, my question is

>> Of course you do. I'm listening. What's going on?

>> My question is, you want black women or like your wife to wear natural afro hair, right?

>> Okay. And so I think a lot of us were kind of surprised uh in the like shocked to hear that you only want them to have afro hair cuz most men, you know, they like to brag and say, "Oh yeah, my my woman, she has natural long, you know, natural hair, but they're okay with her straighten it straightening it." So, I guess my question is, if you don't want black women to use any tools such as like a blow dryer or straightener to alter her natural hair, should black men uphold the same standard, meaning no hair cutting, no shaping tools, no black spray, the white homicide chalk lineups, none of that.

>> well, I think I think you're making a false equivalency. Now, as far as Let me finish. As far as the black spray, as far as the white chalk, as far as anything that's that's that's not natural. Oh, for sure. Getting a haircut is not changing your hairstyle or texture. That's you getting a haircut. If a black woman cut her hair, that's not the same thing. Now, if I went and got a perm like I was Prince in the 80s, that would be an issue. Yeah. But trying to compare me getting a fade or me getting waves because I'm not following. You got to let me finish though, Scott. You're not letting me finish any point.

>> Okay.

>> If I'm getting waves, if I have waves, you can see some my waves at the top. If I have waves or if I get a fade, that's not the racial uh that's not a racial racial category style or that's not the style of any racial category outside of my own. That's a specific style that black American men created, which is the waves and the fades. That's why you see Mexican dudes get their haircut in a fade. That's not their natural hairstyle. You know what I'm saying? They get phased because black American men did it. So what you speaking on is a false equivalency. But when you talk about the black spray and the chalk and all Oh, I'm with you for that. Yeah, you shouldn't do none of that.

>> That was me just

>> like a Jerry curl. Remember the Jerry curl back in the day?

>> I don't agree with perms. I'm not saying that. I know it doesn't exactly correlate, but what I'm saying is you still feel like you look more presentable with your hair cut down. So what if we said we don't want you

>> cut down? Hold on. No. What do you mean cut down? What do you mean?

>> Using tools like using clippers.

>> You said I look more presentable with that.

>> No, no, no. I'm saying that's what most guys would prefer. What if we wanted you to wear your afro?

>> You have plenty of men who have locks. It's a I would I would argue probably like 40 to 50% of black men have locks. They have dreads or locks, whatever you want to call it. Or they have a afro. They have the little natural pattern where they take the little thing and they naturally put their natural like the naps in it. They do it with a little thing to to to add more onto their natural hairstyle because no white person's hair does that. No Latin person's hair does that. So that's still a natural hairstyle.

>> I get it. But what I'm saying is this, and most of the women in the comments can agree.

>> Shrinkage is real when it comes to us. When we wash our hair,

>> literally our hair could be 12 in or longer. When you wash it, you can literally end up with 3 in of hair. So shrinkage is real. So, if you don't want her to blow dry it or straighten it, it's not like she's trying to be a white woman. I wear wigs personally, but I have natural hair. I have a picture on my profile of me with natural hair. I'm not running away from my natural hair.

>> Let me ask you this. If I go to your profile, am I going to see more pictures with your natural hair or more pictures with your unnatural hair?

>> Probably my unnatural hair.

>> You know, exactly. It's going to be your unnatural hair.

>> Well, yeah. But you know what? But it's not about selfhate. It's about

>> It is about selfhate. It's 100% about self. If black Americans were never colonized in America, will black women in America wear an unnatural hairstyle on their head?

>> That's true.

>> Exactly. So, it's self-hate. It's a It's a It's a indoctrination of generational self-hate that we have endured for years and years. So, that's not to say that it didn't like there's not a reason why black women wear their hairstyles. There was a time where your natural hairstyle wasn't even accepted. It's still not accepted in other places. That's why the Crown Act had to be enacted in America because black people were not allowed to wear their natural hairstyle. I'm not negating any of that. I'm not negating the history behind why it got to that point. What I'm saying is that it's still not something that should still be today because we have the history and the knowledge. So, with that being the case, I'm always going to speak for black women to wear their natural hair. Whether it's You said what?

>> Can you hear me?

>> Yeah. Did you hear me? You said something while I was talking. I didn't know if you

>> Hello. Hello. Somebody said I'm glitching. He frozen.

>> Yeah, you did freeze. I didn't hear a lot.

>> We can now.

>> Can y'all hear me now, chat? Let me make sure the chat can hear me. Hold on. Cuz I don't know why I froze. I'm good now. All right. Uh what was the last thing you heard me say? Cuz I don't remember.

>> Just a lot about indoctrination. But

>> yeah, let me let me make that point though because that was a good point. If you didn't hear me, I want to make sure I make that point.

>> Yeah. I'm not saying that I don't understand the history behind why black women have the the the issues that they have with when it comes to their own hair. I understand the history of behind it. I'm not I'm not bashing y'all. I'm not talking down. I'm not saying y'all ain't I didn't say none of that. What I'm saying is because I understand this. We need to get out of that mentality. Black women need to wear their natural hair. And you trying to compare it to a black man getting a haircut or a fade is not the same thing. I have no issue with braids. I have no issue with woman putting the braid extensions in her hair. Why? Because it's still a natural hairstyle correlated with our racial category and group. Even though it's not your natural hair, it's a natural hairstyle. That's not the same as if you was to get a perm and get the bust down. Even though your natural hair may be at the top, but it's still extensions, that's not your natural hair style or texture. That's what I'm speaking on. So, yeah, it would be incorrect. I don't [ __ ] with it the same way I wouldn't I didn't [ __ ] with black men in the 90s wearing Jerry curls in the 80s when they used to put the silk whatever was in their hair that is stupid. It's still a indoctrination that we have to get out of.

>> So what about that is I mean what are you what are you saying that is wrong about that?

>> No I mean I just was surprised to hear you say that you don't even want her to straighten it because to get a comb through it like imagine you have to get up at 4 4:00 in the morning. If you have like really kinky hair, you can't just get a comb and just do it. So like 100 hairstyles that you can have on your head there. You don't have to have one hairstyle on your head. And I don't know, it's there's more natural hairstyles than just afro.

>> Where did you hear me say only afro? I never said only afro. I never said that at all.

>> Well, you seem kind of hesitant when they were asking, did you want a woman that has locks?

>> So I >> No, I didn't have No, I'm not. That's my favorite hairstyle on a woman. What are you talking about? I'm I was never That's a lie that you just made up in your own head. Stop. Stop. Stop. You literally just stop. You're literally lying. You just said that I was hesitant. Anybody that knows my lives and watches my content knows that my hair favorite hairstyle on a black woman is locks or braids. Everybody know that about me. So the fact that you just tried to say I hesitated is a complete lie. I didn't hesitate on nothing. If somebody asked me, how do you feel about braids or locks? I love braids and locks. Everybody knows that's my favorite hairstyle on a black woman. So what would I hesitate? You just lied. I didn't hesitate about anything. You just lied.

>> Well, my bad. It's just when the lady asks, it seemed like you were kind of like taking longer to explain.

>> What did I do? Explain what I did.

>> I don't remember exactly.

>> Exactly. So, you're lying. You're lying. You're not being You're lying. You're not being true.

>> No, I didn't. Maybe I misunderstood.

>> No, you didn't misunderstand anything. You want to push a narrative that I somehow have an issue with black women specifically, which is why you came up here and talk about black men and our hairstyle. You want to push a narrative that I don't like black women or I have an issue with your hair. So now you're lying on me.

>> No, I'm not lying on you at all. I'm going at the way that you're responding and the things that you're saying. You don't have nothing to say about my response or anything that I said cuz I'm very deliberate and I'm very very to the point with what I say. And it ain't nothing to be misunderstood about what I said. You wanted to come up here to try to make some weird correlation about black men's hair to black women's hair to talk about style and texture to say that it's a comparison to a man getting a fade or getting a hair haircut is a comparison of a black woman getting her natural hair style and texture completely changed. That's not the same at all. I made it clear then. I made it clear every day and I'm going to make it clear now. Whether it's braids, whether it's afro, whether it's locks, that's a natural hair style correlated to our racial category and group because our hair naturally grows to the sun. I never said anything that I just wanted an afro. You said that when you came up here. I never said that I just liked afro. I said natural hairstyle, whether that be locks, braids, or whatever it is. So, don't come up here and try to push no narrative or try to twist and manipulate anything because I ain't make nothing unclear at all. I make everything real clear to the point of what the I say. So, I'm going to take it offensively. I'mma take I'mma take I'mma take that to to personal because you're not being honest. You not being truthful whatsoever. I don't have no issue with black women. You can try again though. You can go ahead and get your take. But y'all women coming up here trying to push a narrative that ain't true. Y'all ain't going to fly in my life. I know y'all like to lie on black men all the time. Not over here. Not with me. Go ahead. You got to unmute your mic.

>> Yeah. And like I said, I'll drop down, but I wasn't coming up here to push a narrative. I wouldn't have been watching you as long as I've been watching you if I was coming up here to say that you have something against black women. I was just saying I didn't understand why the straightening of the hair is a problem. We do it for convenience. Just so that we can

>> You do it because you hate your hairstyle. That's why.

>> Oh, no, I don't. I don't. cuz my hair. No, I don't.

>> You hate yourself. You hate your hairstyle. That's like indoctrinated and you've been for a very long time. You hate your hairstyle. You don't look good.

>> No, I don't.

>> Most of women like yourself think that your most beautiful state is putting at you know what since she just said that look at your profile.

>> I'm going to make a post. I'm going to make a post with my natural curly hair.

>> You should and I would and I would applaud you for doing that. You should make sure that you keep the same energy across the board because your page now, you even said that the majority of your page is not natural. So maybe you should take this conversation and listen to it and say, you know what, he's right. I need to start embracing my natural hairstyle and make that be your normal, not on an occasion just because somebody said it to prove a point. Cuz if it was really a true thing, you wouldn't have to prove no point because it already was understood and got to be explained.

>> Okay, make sure you check me out. Leave a comment. But you trying to come to the crib. Ain't nothing to check out. But uh I appreciate you coming up. How you doing?

>> Hey, I'm good. How are you

>> doing? Good. What's on your mind?

>> Okay. So, let me hurry up before a bunch of people get in here, child. So, real quick question. I want to ask you from your perspective, your opinion, why do you think that the men I've like ran into recently, and when I say recently, I'd say like after my relationship that I got into, which is like in 2024 when I finished, why do women I've ran into lately, want to just be sexual? I'm not understanding. I don't give off that vibe at all. At least I don't feel like I do. like, hey, I don't know. Mind you, these men that I've met, it'll be like in person or something. So, it's never like social media. They don't see that till, you know, after or whatever. And most of it is like by Instagram. But, I don't know. I'm not getting it now. These aren't men that I would want to marry per se either. However, just at least having the option to be like, "Okay, is this somebody I want to like seriously date, take serious?" You know, having that option is nice, even though I would probably not seriously date them. Just being able to have that option to get to know who they are as a man first, you know.

>> Well, you want me to tell you my take on your presentation?

>> Yeah, cuz it's your opinion. So, yeah.

>> This is my opinion. You're right. Um, lose the lashes. That's number one. Lose the sex sex worker stripper girl prostitution lashes. You need to lose those. Um, the next thing I would say is from looking at your page, you say you don't present yourself in that way, but you absolutely do. I'm looking at I mean, the most recent uh video on your page is you it's like a transformation. But let me tell you something about men, Eric.

>> Men don't care about what you turned into because to us, you are exactly what you used to be. So you may be a different person in your own right, but to men, men don't care. So, if you on your page and I'm looking at this, I'm looking at the outfit that you got, this whole transformation thing that you did, that's great.

>> But men don't care about that because men are still going to be thinking about, well, what about this dude and this dude and this dude and this dude. Men care about your past. So, that's great that you've changed. And I mean, as you I guess you you know, you want to put that out there, but men don't care. And you still got pictures of yourself like in like clothes and bikinis and you got like your boobs hanging up. So, I noticed that you said that it's in person and they see the social media after, but at the end of the day, like in person, if I sent you, to me, those lashes are clear indicator of like sex worker, like you easily accessible. You know what I'm saying? Uh, and then I'm going to ask you this, too. How old are you?

>> 25. Going to be 26 in August.

>> Okay. Uh, where do you usually meet men at?

>> I'm going to be honest. I don't really get out much, but when I do, I'll give some examples. Like one maybe work, and I work for the county, like my local county, so it's like a government position.

>> Um I'm trying to think where else maybe like the grocery store.

>> I think a couple in person you do online. I would argue probably meet more men online, seeing as though you got 3,300.

>> The men that reach out to me online are like not it. I don't even respond to them. It seems like I would, but I really don't. Like, and it's like usually older, grubby men, like I never respond to them.

>> Well, this the thing though, just from the vibe that you give off to me, it gives off easily accessible.

>> That's what I get. The way that you present. Um, and then a lot of times it's not even necessarily like if they don't peep it up front because it could be what you guys don't want when they see you, but it's also things that you say and what audience is a lot of times destroys y'all because y'all say certain things and you don't think it's a big deal, but men say it as a big deal, but men don't say it cuz they don't want to be seen as insecure and controlling and so they rather just lie to y'all. You know what I'm saying? So, I think that you you have to understand male nature. I mean, you got to understand this, too. Like, men, we we we want to sleep with women. We're attracted to y'all. So, it's not weird that a man wants to do that, but your focus is like, well, why do they only want to do that? What do they see value in long term? So, let me ask you this. What should a man see value in when it come to you?

>> I feel like you should see value in my mind the way I think. Also, I want to ask before I also answer that. Um, so when a man says like, okay, let's say you have sex, whatever, and then after you may still be in communication with them, still in talks with them, and they just kind of act a little I' I don't want to say weird, but seems like where it's like, okay, I at first it was like going toward a relationship standpoint because I

>> Yeah. Yeah. It seems like And so it's like when I kind of call them out, it's like, no, that's not what I wanted actually at all. Like I never wanted to do that. It was very spontaneous. Woo woo woo. That's like a lie obviously. Right.

>> What make you think a man gonna be honest with you when it come to that?

>> Right. That's what I thought.

>> Men tell women what they want to hear. I tell y'all this every single day. You should know cuz Eric, you've been watching me for a little minute. You know what I'm saying?

>> We tell y'all what y'all want to hear. Now me, I'm I'mma hunt it. I'mma keep it a ban. But men tell women exactly what y'all want to hear so we can get sexual access. So of course a dude is not going to be like, "Oh, that's not what I wanted. That's exactly what he wanted. Most men will see you as sexual access but not relationship access. But the sexual access goal and the relationship access goal looks the same for from from from us to y'all. So what you need to do is you need to make sure that you present yourself right and you actually have values of of what men are going to care about. So you said your mind. What else? um my relationship with the Lord, which really isn't anybody's business because, you know, your relationship with the Lord is personal. However, it does shape me into like the way I view certain things, my morals, values, things like that. Um which I I guess is part of my mind, but also my spirituality. And I would say um just my ability, I guess, to be able to grow something. But they I feel like it hasn't gotten that far with these past couple of guys. Like for example, if it's like a business that you know a man has and me just showing like a little bit of an interest in it and how I can help him. Like there's this one guy I kind of dealt with which I wasn't really interested in taking him too serious but he had a um what's those businesses? Car detailing. So I do social media stuff like as for work like corporately. And so um I was like you know like let me help you like I want to help you grow your business blah blah blah. So what?

>> So why are you doing that?

>> I don't understand. You you you you literally just said

>> Mhm.

>> You didn't plan on taking him too serious. So if you didn't plan on taking him too serious, then what was the goal of you dealing with that man?

>> At that time I had went through a breakup. So it was just to experience something new at that point

>> to to get not at the time. I really wasn't thinking that. It was just to be able to connect with somebody else that was not my ex. Be able to experience a different connection. But this is 2020.

>> You're being dishonest. You said you didn't plan on taking him too serious. So, if you didn't plan on taking him too serious, we're grown adults.

>> What other reason would you be dealing with this man outside of some obvious sexual intercourse that was eventually going to happen? Come on, Erica.

>> To get romantic attention, go on dates, like have someone

>> not Is that not sex? Is that not

>> not to me but I mean obviously that did come along with it eventually

>> to use a man

>> I don't I mean was I using him

>> you know you can use somebody in like but not in a way to where it's

>> use for example you hold on hold on hold on wait hold on for example you can you use your job for money but your job is also using you for work. So when I was dealing with this man, let me give you a back story. This was 200 backtory. You're okay. Okay, never mind. You're trying to make a comparison of a job that you get you you you work for because there's an equal exchange there, right?

>> It's not even an equal exchange. If anything, a job it's never an hour of your life is never worth however much they can pay you.

>> But you're trying to compare that to like you dealing with a man. So let me ask you this then. What's the What's the equivalent? Dates and all this other getting paid stuff paid for feeling like this and feeling like that. What's the equivalent that that man gets out of you?

>> The equivalent from a man's perspective, I guess that would be sex. I just Is that right?

>> What would that be sex? Is sex not something that both Is sex not something that both parties enjoy?

>> Yeah, it is. I feel like a man gets more gratification from it. Who said that?

>> Men sometimes I don't enjoy sex. I I don't enjoy every single time I have sex with a woman.

>> If I like a woman, then I'll enjoy it. But just because I sleep with a woman doesn't mean that I necessarily enjoyed it. There's plenty times where as a woman, I'm sure you've dealt with dudes that you really enjoy sexually and other dudes you really didn't enjoy. Sex is an equal exchange. Now, when it comes to the aftermath of sex, yeah, women have to deal with more stuff. But during the presence of the actual act of sex, sex is an equal exchange. That's not anything where it's just him benefiting and you just sitting there like just going with the motions like I don't want to be here.

>> That that that's not that that Texas two parties enjoying each other.

>> So I'm I'm I'm asking what's the equivalent that he would get cuz if it's not if you claiming you not

>> Oh, okay. I see what you're asking.

>> So during that period and this man was 2024. I was you know I wasn't taking him serious because he his uh past of like being in prison and stuff. I wasn't really with that and he made it seem like he turned his life around. So, I kind of was like, "Okay, what happened?

>> Why I deal with him? We already established that

>> because at the time I was vulnerably stupid and just going through a breakup.

>> But she's not answering my question. What is the if you're if you're claiming you wasn't using him or using other men, what is the equivalent that would make that not using somebody? Because you said that it's not sex and it's just you you basically you said that like okay dates and companionship and all of this and basically him buying you [ __ ] and spending time with you. What's the equivalent of what he would get that you would be offering him?

>> The equivalent that he would get his companionship as well. He didn't buy me anything. We just went on dates.

>> Dates is buying you stuff. Dates is food. You you think that [ __ ] just How do you think it got paid for? You didn't pay for it,

>> right? Is that buying somebody food, not buying you things? Or you don't

>> buy me things. He didn't buy me food also. Like we went on a movie date and you know kind of called it a day. Like it was very small

>> with a s dates is plural. Dates.

>> Yeah. So for example, it was also an event he invited me out to. There was no food involved in that. Like he didn't

>> So you So why did you say dates? Dates is plural which means that you guys went on multiple dates which means y'all spent time together. And I'm assuming that he the man paid for those dates. Correct. Right?

>> So, he paid for something for you. So, he bought something for you. Whether that be an experience, whether that be food, whether that be whatever it is, he still paid for something that you benefited from that he got no benefit from spending his own money.

>> Okay. So, what's the equivalent that that man will get from your side?

>> Companionship. I really I mean, that's something I feel like you would have to ask him.

>> That cancels out. The thing is, the truth of the matter is this. If you if your initial point is guys are just sleeping or trying to sleep with me and they don't want nothing serious, but then in your own right you're even saying that you've dealt with me and you said it multiple times. You said it when you initially started speaking and you said it when you was speaking about the situation that happened in 2024. You said that I don't plan I didn't really plan on taking these guys serious and then we're talking about the dude. You said that I didn't plan on taking him serious. So, it doesn't sound like an issue that you want to be serious with all of these dudes and they just don't want to be serious with you. It sounds like you're not trying to be serious and they're not trying to be serious. And that's what usually happens with women who don't want to be serious. They usually just get sex and their time wasted. So, the issue is not the man. It seems like the issue is you cuz you would be the common denominator.

>> Not to mention the other stuff that I told you about your presentation. you being half naked online in bikinis with your titties hanging out speaking about no disrespect but you're speaking about how your you your relationship with God women of God don't operate in vanity and lust.

>> Can you show me the photo where or whatever it is where you said I have my um like are you saying my titties are right there?

>> I can see your Yes, I can see your titties. Now this is this part. This this is this you you have this is you right here.

>> But it switches to a video. That's one. I mean, this is this is another one right here. Uh, I mean, this one right here. And this is a so-called transformation, but this is you. Like, I mean, this respectfully, hold on. Hold on. The brightness is too high. Respectfully, this is you still as well.

>> So,

>> that's like a part of the transformation. Why you saying that shouldn't be posted? Like, in a way,

>> what I'm telling you is men don't, oh, she's not a anymore. Like we're not going to like no man that's going to be like, "Oh, she used to be in the club half naked titties hanging out, hanging out, stripper girl lashes and all of this stuff. Oh, she's not like that anymore. Let me go ahead and take her seriously." That's not how men think, sweetie.

>> I see what you're saying. We don't like the context of it doesn't matter. It's just not matter whatsoever. You may think that about yourself. Congratulations. But the world don't owe you understanding. If a dude said, "This is the equivalent of a woman being with that with that on your page." This is the equivalent on how you would feel. If a dude said, "Yeah, I used to sleep with dudes back in the day, but now I've changed." That's the equivalent. The difference is you not about to deal with no dude that slept with dudes back in the day. Men will sleep with women that they that mess with a bunch of dudes back in the day or operated in a hypersexual way and never tell you because they are so focused on just getting sex from you.

>> That's the difference. We'll still deal with you even though we ain't trying to cuff you. you likely ain't going to deal with a man that you want to that you don't want to be with. But and I guess not even you because in your own situation, you said you've dealt with men that you didn't have no long-term, you know what I'm saying, goal with. So, it's kind of like a contradiction.

>> I see what you're saying. And I think I just wanted Okay, so let me ask you this last question. Is it wrong at least wanting the option of being able to know if I want to take them serious or not? Cuz I feel like I never got to know them as a man. So that's why it's like I can't, you know, from what I've seen of you so far, I can't just make the decision that I want to take you serious. I don't I don't feel like I've made a connection with you.

>> When you found out that you don't want to be serious with that man, you stop dealing with him. You said that you the dude was a past criminal. So which means you would have known that and you continue to deal with him after the fact.

>> And then you mentioned other guys too that you dealt with even though you didn't want to be serious with him. So this is multiple times where you've dealt with men. You knew you didn't want to be serious with them, but you still dealt with them and then in the same then the next breath you're saying, "Well, why don't guys just want to sleep with me and they don't want to be serious?" That don't make no sense to me.

>> Yeah. I guess I was asking, so the reason why I would not want to take them serious is cuz I would not know enough about them to want to take them serious. The [ __ ] in 2024, that's a different story. That one, hell no. But the other ones, like recently, I didn't know enough about them to want to take them serious. So when do you feel like off the bat I

>> No, no, no, no, no. You You're not You're not following. You're not following at all. You knew at a point in time dealing with this man that you did not want to be serious with him.

>> Correct.

>> Like in the beginning cuz I feel like I didn't know enough to be like, "Oh yeah, this is a man I want to date." Or not like

>> Now you moving it. When you initially started speaking, Erica, you said, "I did not want to be serious with these men." It's recorded. I can play it back.

>> Yeah.

>> You said I did not want to be serious with these men. And then you spoke about the situation in 24. You said you didn't even want to be serious with him. So if you didn't want to be serious with those dudes, but you continued to deal with them after the fact of knowing internally that you wasn't going to be serious with these dudes, that's ironic for someone claiming that men don't want to be serious with me. That's the point that I'm trying to get you to understand. So it may have been a time that you didn't know, but once you found out that you didn't, you still kept dealing with them. That's not what valuable,

>> you know. I was I guess I was saying the time I did not know is in the very beginning and then after time. Do you see what I'm saying?

>> But that would make sense though because that's with anybody. So why would you need to come out and say, "Yeah, I didn't want to be serious with these dudes." It would make sense with anybody that when you first start talking to somebody initially, you don't know them. So you don't know if you going to be serious or not.

>> Yeah, that's kind of what I was saying. That's what I'm saying.

>> That doesn't make sense. That doesn't really that don't people don't That's not usually what people do. Usually, if you saying, "I didn't want to be serious with this person," you're going to say, "I didn't want to be serious with him." And like, you found that out, but you still kept dealing with him. So, why would you need to come out and say, "I didn't want to be serious with these dudes." That that doesn't make sense. And you even when talking about the dude in jail, you said he was in he was he was a jail burden. He was a criminal or whatever it is. He had a criminal history. You knew that and you still kept dealing with him. So, when you found out he had a criminal history, you stopped dealing with him or you continue to deal with him?

>> I stopped dealing with him. Well, I knew I knew a little bit initially. I knew a little bit initially, but after I experienced him,

>> you're not being honest right now. You're not being

>> I am, but maybe I'm because it's like a lot of stuff that has happened in my life. So, I'm trying to be as clear and precise as possible. The 2024 guy, which he's really not even a factor in the conversation of what I asked about the whole uh why the sex stuff that was just I was using him as an example when you asked me what I kind of to speak.

>> Yeah. So I the only reason why I brought him up, I knew initially he had a past of criminal history, but he made it seem like he turned his life.

>> Yeah. He made it seem like he turned his life around, right? So I was I was okay with that cuz I'm not going to judge anybody off of mistakes that they've made, especially if they're different.

>> So that's why I still dealt with him. But after time dealing with him, certain stuff I was seeing, I was like, "Okay, I'm cool. I'm cool off this." I mean, obviously I don't deal with him now because I don't talk to him now, but his criminal history wasn't necessarily the turnoff because he seemed like he had changed. Do you see what I'm saying? He seemed like he had changed. But that's why I continued to deal with him. But obviously after I saw certain stuff, then I was like, "Okay, this isn't going to work. I can't take you serious."

>> Respectfully, I think this conversation clearly shows why nobody wants to be serious with you.

>> I can just see that talking to you. The stuff that you say, you not being I don't feel like you being fully honest with me. I feel like you being you you not being fully truthful. You trying to save yourself because you know you said some stuff that didn't make no sense. Um the way that you present the stripper lashes you give off and then again I'm and I don't need I didn't even need to notice this what you have on here this this so-called transformation video.

>> I didn't have to go through to your page to know that that was in your past.

>> You only you said you how old you said you was?

>> 25. Yeah.

>> 25. Like that's crazy. you real young to like have all this past and all this history with all these dudes and like that's that's pretty young.

>> So I didn't even see that to know that that was going on based on your presentation, based on what you say.

>> I see why a lot of guys probably look at you the way that they do. Even in your your profile picture, that's not a modest attire that you have on.

>> Mhm.

>> I mean, you got your shirt open, your titties is out. Your titties is out for what reason? That's not modest attire. That's not what women who so-called ever have ever I ain't saying you got to be perfect, but that's not what women who say that they got this relationship with God. That's not what women like with Christian women, that's not what they would put out there to the world at all. Is that something that you would wear to church with?

>> Definitely not. Definitely not.

>> So what do you mean when when you speak about this whole Christian stuff? What are you talking about? You didn't say Christian, but you said relationship with God. That ain't what women do. Modesty, vanity, and lust is not what those relationship with God women do. respectfully.

>> Right. I do agree.

>> So, I don't think you being truthful and I don't think you standing on what you say respectfully.

>> Okay. I'll take it. I'll take it. I'm not going to lie. I'll take it. That's why I came up here. I'll take it.

>> But what do you what were you going to say?

>> Go ahead.

>> I was going to say, so I appreciate this. Now, what's next steps? Now, I know you're not God. you can't like tell me what to do. But again, this is just your opinion, your advice. What's what do you think is next steps? Cuz obviously

>> I want to be a wife. I want to be a mother. That's just so, you know, moving forward in that direction. What do you think?

>> Well, I think the easiest thing that you could do right now is clean up your social media. And the second easiest thing that you can do is get a workout routine.

>> Okay.

>> You need to be you should be in the gym consistently. Um, you should be changing your diet and you should be uh you should be presenting yourself like this as a young lady. And the third thing I would say is um lose the stripper girl lashes. Take those lashes off your eyes because it doesn't look good at all. It never looks good when any of y'all women wear that.

>> So, those are three things that you can fix just easily. Now, everything else is probably going to be pertaining to the people that you hang with, the stuff that the stuff that you give attention to, the things that you're intrigued by, right? The places in which you go that you probably shouldn't go no more or frequent at. All of those things should be things that you uh are changing. But I I think that you don't need to have this to be on your page, this whole transformation thing, because if it's a true transformation, I ain't saying it ain't true. I'm sure you've probably attained some things, but you don't have to showcase it and broadcast it on the internet.

>> Like, I'm not saying that you doing this, but you got a lot of these play Christians and they love to talk about Jesus and God and it be a woman with a Bible verse in her bio and all throughout her page, she twerking, drinking, smoking, half naked, tattoos, and piercings. So,

>> don't be the performative fake Christian girl, but then your everything else is completely opposite. Don't do that. Don't be performative.

>> That's all I'm saying.

>> Okay. I agree. I appreciate the the constructive criticism. I'm gonna definitely uh I'm going to take it back to God. Maybe because obviously there's other stuff that can be done. Now, also I'm going to let y'all go for real for real. But with the lashes, all lashes or the particularly long ex because I don't wear those like long exotic ones anymore, but all lashes. always tell women to embrace their natural beauty.

>> So, no lashes. Got it. Got it.

>> Okay, sounds good.

>> I appreciate you coming up. Good luck to you.

>> Thank you.

>> You're welcome. Uh, you know who you are. Thank you for the $50 donation. I appreciate you so much. She said no shout out, but thank you for the We are at 100 right now, man. I appreciate you for the $100 donation. I appreciate that. I appreciate that. Shout out to the people that's coming. What's going on, Sam?

>> Hello. How are you?

>> Good. What's on your mind?

>> Um, I had came on your live maybe about a month and a half ago and I had spoken about how I was um in a relationship with a man. It's been about 4 months now. And we're still talking about the idea of exclusive. Um, we are going towards marriage. I don't believe in dating for fun. And I had mentioned, I'm sorry, hold on. My question is about love bombing from a financial perspective. I was on the phone with him. And why are you making that face already? Oh my gosh.

>> Because most women don't know what love bombing is. But I'm going to let you finish your your take though and I'm respond to you after this. Go ahead. I'm listen.

>> Okay. So, it's it's been 4 months and I had mentioned how I needed to stay home because I was waiting for my replacement card from my Bank of America. I wasn't having it sent to my PO box. And he said,

"Why don't you just put my MX in your Apple Pay?" Um, it's it's been 4 months. Of course, there are men who believe in, you know, showing what the future's going to be right now. Like I'm going to take care of you. You know, you don't have to worry about that kind of stuff. I'm just wondering, is this should I consider this to be too much in the in the phase of we're not even close to the engagement part? We we were freshly dating and it's to the point where I I don't should a man want to give that much access to someone he's met four months ago? I I just think it's wild that even when men do right and do try to go out of his way to do something for a woman, it's still challenged and seen as something that could be negative by um. I think that's wild. Would I do that? Absolutely not. I wouldn't do that. But that's my own threshold. That's my own personal way. Right. Clearly, he gave you his AMX card. That's a credit card. Credit card, right? That's a credit card, not a debit card. That's a credit card. So, and it's AMX. You got to have decent credit to use AMX regard depending on what the limit is. I don't know, but it's a credit card. So, clearly, he trusts you enough and he likes you enough within these four months that he was willing to do something like that for you.

Now, will I do that? Not for a woman that I just met for four months. No, maybe if it was a woman that I've been known for a long time. I know her character. I know it. I can trust her with me with my stuff, that that maybe that'll be different. But for a woman that I've been knowing for four months, no, I wouldn't do that. But clearly, you have that you you have that leverage where he trusts you. So, you should accept it. You should be happy. You should thank him for it. You should you should want to reciprocate it by any means necessary. You know what I'm saying? If he's willing to be there for you in that type of way, that's a really, really big gesture. So instead of you trying to find some negative connotation to it, I'm not saying it's not possible, right? But why don't you try to reciprocate it the same way that he's doing something for you or doing something like that for you. So that should be your focus, not is this negative. Your focus should be how can I turn this positive into something positive in return for this man? That should be your question.

Okay. So how how do I reciprocate? Do I just say yes and go along with it? I don't really cuz that was he spoke about how he believes in showing me how he plans to provide. I don't necessarily know how I'm supposed to show what kind of wife I will be because we're not doing the whole dating for seven years playing house and you know, let me wait until this this that. He is a very strategic person. If I told you his lineup of education. Very like what what's that word? Uh, very deliberate. So what what can I do in return? Is that a thing to ask? I don't know if that's weird to ask.

It's not weird, but I just want you to think if it's a man you've been talking to him for four months. First of all, I want to say this. Don't take this personally, but I think this is a major red flag in you. The fact that you've been talking to this man for four months and you don't know what to do for him, for him to feel some type of way of reciprocation tells me that you're not that invested like you think you are or at least where I think that you should be. Cuz in four months, you should know a lot about him to know what is something that you can do to reciprocate some type of thing that he would do for you. You should know that. Now, let me ask you the second question. How many times have you cooked for this man?

Over 20 times. Like definitely over 20 times. Okay. Do it another 20 times. Um, are you guys sexually active?

Absolutely not.

Okay. Are you are you a virgin?

I am. Yes.

Okay. All right. That's good. Um, with that being the case, I mean, since you've been knowing him for as long as you knowing him, what is he like?

Oh, was that rhetorical or did you want me to actually answer?

What do he like? Okay. Um, he he likes trivia. He likes to golf. He likes to travel. He has an excessive Rolex collection. His father owns a lot of cars. He's into cars, just not like um as much as his father. Um, what else is there? Um, he loves Jeopardy. We both love Jeopardy. That kind of trivia stuff. So, I know a lot. Um, I'll I'll be very honest with you. I was raised by a mother, not a wife. So, I am lacking in that area. There's not a lot of wives in my family. If they are, they're very abused, miserable women that stay for the kids and don't want to start over. So, for myself, I am learning how to be a wife. This is the conversation I've had with him early on, and I'm very adamant about explaining that I was raised by a mother, not a wife. So, there could be some grace in regards to what this is going to be going forward. Um, of course I know the basics of, you know, especially within the Christian faith of submission, him being the leader. He wants to be a provider. He's very adamant about that. Um, but

Yeah, I'm kind of operating a little bit. That was a deficit.

All right. So, two points I'm going to make. One is a statement, one is a question. It's no excuse that you don't know how to do what you're supposed to do. Uh, respectfully, who cares? You was raised by a mother, not a wife. Who cares? When you become an adult, it's no more excuses. I don't get to go across a woman and say, "Well, woman that I'm dealing with, I don't know how to be a husband, so why don't you give me grace when it comes to stuff because I don't know what I'm doing." No woman is going to hear that and be like, "Okay, well, why don't you treat me anyway until you just figure it out?" No, I don't get that excuse. So, men don't get that excuse. Women don't get that excuse either. So, that's number one. Number two I'm going say is have you asked him how you get reciprocated or have you asked him something that he would want you to do?

No.

Okay. Well, I think that's a major problem.

I think that's the issue. You haven't asked him and I think asking him would answer your question. Everything don't got to be secret. Everything don't have to be you guessing. Communication is important. And if you want this man to feel appreciated instead of you focusing on is this man that's doing something that is really really really a big like thing for me or big thing or I guess you would think it would be the big thing for him doing something that is a big gesture I'm going to turn it into a negative somehow like no you should turn it into a positive and say a man did something nice kind and good for me how can I reciprocate it and the best thing you can do is ask him that's the best thing you could Now you've been cooking. That's good. Keep cooking. But the best thing you can do is ask him. And you can tell him exactly what you telling me. You don't have to have it. It's not a secret. Communication is is is okay for you not to know. But if you don't know and you get to guessing and not communicating and turning into negative, that's exactly what you doing now. And that's what I'm trying to get you out of. So instead of instead of thinking it that way, just simply tell them, "Look, babe," or whatever you call them, I really appreciate that you did that for me. That's a really big gesture and I want to make sure that I'm able to give you the reciprocation that you need and what you looking for to make you know that I appreciate what you did. Is there something that I can do for you to help you feel better or make your day better or something that I can do where you know that I appreciate what you've been doing for these last months and especially you giving me the opport you giving me the the the access to something like your credit card because that's a big you know that's a big step that simple a paragraph or two you send a text message you say on the phone or you say it in person and you give it an answer and then you go from there. That's called communication. It is called being an adult.

Okay, that makes sense. Okay, I'll try and go from there. Okay.

You should. It's the only thing that's the only thing that's going to give you the answer that you're looking for cuz I mean I'm guessing I don't know that man. I don't know that man. So, he he would know more than I would as far as what he would want out of a woman that he doing stuff for. So, ask him. Um, what I what I did want to ask is I I don't want to I guess you could say betray his trust if he were to give me my card, give his card to me. Um, I know you said that it is not your personal actions. I mean, I'm sorry. You would not give a card to a woman you've known for 4 months. Is there like an idea of an amount that if you heard if you heard your homeboy did this and the woman spent like $20,000? Would you say this is why you should not have gave the card or do you think if it's just there to use?

Well, I think this a woman that has the access to somebody's card, I think that's if if they were to spend $20,000, especially when they don't have $20,000 to spend on their own, to me is very in inconsiderate because it shows it shows a lack no like it shows a lack of like care that you have because if somebody is willing to give you their card, they can say it's if somebody was to give me a card and say, "Hey, you can spend as much as you want." I'm because of the type of person I am because I'm very considerate because I don't like like doing too much. You know what I'm saying? I'm not about to go spend thousands and thousands of dollars on anything especially that's not important. So if you were to do that, me personally, I would think that would be verying inconsiderate. And if it was you use the example of if it was one of my guys, yeah, I would tell them like, man, that woman is not a woman you need to be around because any smart woman wouldn't want to spend that much money. Any smart woman who want to save that money because they understand that money is hard to come by. Especially when you got it, the hardest part is not getting money. The hardest part is keeping money. And that's where a lot of women, they don't pay attention to because you ain't spending or I'm sorry, you not working for, you just spending. So it's easy when you just spending and spending and spending it. But what a good woman is going to do, she's going to say, "How can I keep this $20,000?" Or, "How can I 20 turn this $20,000 into $40,000, $80,000 or whatever it may be?" So that's what I would say.

Okay, that makes sense. Thank you.

Appreciate you coming up. Good luck to you.

What's going on?

What's going on?

What's some dating advice that you give to a young woman?

How old are you?

19. What year was you born?

2006. I'm trying to be 20. What you making her face for?

That's how you talk for real.

Damn. A lot of people say that like, "Yeah, that's how I talk, man."

I can't help I can't help how I talk.

Yes, you can.

What do you

Anyways, I came up here for dating advice, not how I talk.

I know what you came up here for. That's why I just asked you a question though.

Oh, well, yeah. That's how I talk. I'm sorry if I sound I don't know.

You sound like a dude that's a homosexual putting on a girl voice.

I sound like a dude.

You sound like a person putting on a fake girl voice.

Um, that's not me.

Okay. What's your What's your question?

I don't know. Cuz it's like the advice you give me right now. You saying I sound like a dude. I I don't even want to hear your dang advice.

That's not I didn't give you advice. I was making a statement. I was making an assertion based on what I hear. That's not advice.

No, that was an opinion.

Right? That's an statement can be can be an opinion.

Yeah. Okay. Well, I have a question. I didn't ask for your opinion.

Asking a question would be me giving my opinion.

Okay. So, can you give me your opinion on what you think about the question that I asked?

You didn't. Can you give me dating advice? What? That's not You need to be more specific than that.

Yeah. Like I mean like I don't know some like tips

or advice. Advice. That's really the question. I really just wanted advice

on what you have to be specific now. Dating. Like what's some things that I should know

as far as in what aspect though? Like be specific because dating is a very real.

Okay.

When you say dating advice, that's a very vague term that can mean anything. So I'm asking you what specifically are you speaking on? You could be talking about how to make a man feel appreciated. You could be saying what to wear on a date. You could be asking how to make a man how to how to know if a man is serious about you. How do I know what things to look out for when dealing with a man? Red flags. What are things that I can do better to be a woman? Like you it's such a vague thing. So you got to be specific. You you can't just say dating advice and then I'm just supposed to make on my head in my head. That's not how this goes. Be specific.

Okay. Right. Maybe I needed help on asking the question. So what's some advice on like to know what I'm looking for or like what's like not to look for? What's wrong?

Well, I would have to know what you looking for right now to know to know your head.

Um, I'm looking for someone who's mature and like kind of on the same page as me.

Okay. Mature.

I don't think they know what they want cuz you know, I don't know what I want yet. I'm still young.

No, you're not. You're grown. You ain't young.

I'm still young.

You a 19. Come on now. Like, what you mean here?

You a grown adult. You're not young. You a grown adult. You old enough to vote. You old enough to go to college. You old enough to pick your career path. You old enough to be

Listen to me. You old enough to be a stripper if you wanted to. So, you're you're a grown adult. And I'm going to hold you to that standard. We don't let men do that. I'm not letting a young man come up here and say, "I'm 19, bro. I don't know better. I don't want to hear you a grown adult and y'all grown in every single other aspect. So, I'm going to treat you like you're grown." If you coming up here in a grown person's life asking a grown woman question, then I'm going to respond to you and give a grown man answer. So, you can't just use your age whenever it's beneficial to I don't want to be held accountable. [ __ ] don't fly like that. Not up in here.

But you got to understand like a 19y old woman versus a 30 year old woman are they're going to be on two different type of pages. You feel me?

Giving you I should be giving you I don't have enough experience.

The best experience I can tell the best advice I can tell you right now is to be quiet.

That's the best thing I can tell you. Be quiet and then you finish what I'm trying to say.

You 19 years old. So, if anybody needs to be hearing any advice that is about accountability and making the right decisions, it needs to be you because you 19 and you got more to lose than a 30-year-old woman. A 30-y old woman didn't been through her life. She's already 30. So, she's on a down point portion of her life. You're you're 19. So, if anybody need to hear the reality, the truth, and the med held accountable the most, it needs to be you because you have a lot more to lose. If I was a person that was a that was a college coach trying to recruit a player, I'm not going to recruit a 23 year old over a 19-year-old and they're both the same skill level. I'm going to go with the 19-year-old because he's coachable because he's more likely to be a part of the program and a part of the system longer and I can mold them into I want them to be. So, if anything, you need to hear this more than a woman that's 30. So, that wasn't a good example, sweetheart.

Yes, that's why I came up here cuz I want some advice.

Okay. So, let me just tell you this. Um, from looking at your profile picture, you don't present yourself like a young lady should. You present yourself like you sell vagina. And you 19 years old. You present yourself like you sell. So, I don't think that a 19-year-old lady um should be presenting herself the way you do on social media. You present yourself.

What else?

I mean, that's the easiest thing I can say.

But I don't do that. And what makes you think I present myself like that? Oh, I thought I I thought I um I thought I put that up in a little private, but [ __ ] I mean, put that on private. So, like besides that post on my other post, what would you think? I thought I looked cute in there. I was on a little picnic. I thought I looked cute. I mean, I'm fully covered in that. That was the body contrast. A young lady shouldn't be wearing that, though, because I shouldn't be able to see your whole entire body structure with your nipples showing through your shirt.

You should be 19 years old wearing this. This is underwear that you have as a as shorts out in public.

Okay, you're right about that.

You got to shut the up. That's what you got to do. You got to shut the up. All right, I'mma get you opportunity to speak, but you got to shut the up because you don't know better. So everything don't got to be a defense and a response. You got to be quiet and let me finish what I'm trying to trying to say. Cuz I don't know if your father was around, but if he was, if you was my daughter, I would never let you go out the house looking like this. And if you did, I woulding disown you. That's me though. So I'm telling you the game because you need to hear it because you 19, you young and impressionable. And these other boys that's around your age, they want you and put a dip in your that's all they want to do. You need to hear the truth from reality and stop listening to these delusional ass broads and these goof your ass that's going to lead you to destruction and lead you to either getting a STD or you being somebody's baby mother or unfortunately taking the life of that child because you don't want to be responsible for opening up your legs. So I'm telling you the truth but you got to be quiet. Let me finish what I'm trying to tell you.

Okay.

Also too lose lashes. You have facial piercings. You need to lose that.

I like it though.

So then what you asking me this question for then? cuz I'm telling you what you need to hear. You need

I'm still trying to hear more advice besides my path. You're going down a path to be a [ __ ] You own a

You said like

I don't got to say [ __ ] else to you. You the path that you going right now, you're going to be a [ __ ] and you're going to be somebody's baby mother. I can't help you because you don't know how to shut the up. You going to be a [ __ ] if you're not already one or you going to be somebody's baby mother. You don't know no better right now because you 19. But it's [ __ ] up because there's so many young impressionable women like yourself that follow the steps of all these older women that are five 10 years older than you and you follow in a path of them where you dress like them. You talk like them. You wear the stripper lashes, the fake hair, the excessive makeup, the titties out, the nipples showing through the shirt and then you become somebody baby mama. Or you be just a hoe. Or you just end up going through this cycle of being in your 20s and just getting hit. And then you get up to your 28, 29, 30, 31, then asking where all the good men at or all the good men are gone. So I'm trying to help you, but you don't want to help yourself cuz you think you know every mother thing. So I don't know. I think you too far gone. And I feel bad for the person that raised you. I don't even feel bad for them. I feel bad for you that you had a person raise you that didn't know what the they was doing. Cuz if you was my daughter, I would have disowned your ass and kicked you the out my house. But that's just me. And if my son ever brought a woman like yourself home, I would kick his out my house, too. That's just me, though. Let's go to the next person.

What's going on?

Hello.

Hello.

What's going on?

How you doing, my my good brother? How you doing? I'm not going to take too much of your time. I just want to say thank you for accepting my request, man. I'm a huge fan of you. And um I'm going tell you right now, man, you was one of the most intelligent black man on this app. I appreciate that. Thank you, buddy.

Um, and and and like I said, brother, I'm not going to take too much of your time, brother. I just want to say, um, I turned 38 years old last week and I, um, and I haven't had a girlfriend in 2 years. So, what advice so would you give me about the current dating scene now?

Well, the first thing I would tell you is, do you have a like a speech impediment or is there like a do you have like a maybe like are you um uh do you have autism or level of autism?

Oh yeah. You know what? I'mma tell you what. I've been having my stuttering problem ever since I was 10 years old. And the reason why I talk loud because I find that's the best way to you know say my words right.

Okay. So the best thing I would tell you is do you have you ever been to like a speech class or learn how to like a class that'll help you with your like getting your you know vocabulary like being able to pronunciate your words better or speak?

Oh oh oh yes sir. Um let me see. I remember I took a speech class when I was in the third and the fourth grade.

Okay. So, I think you should do one as an adult and you can. There's plenty out there that you can do. I think that would help you greatly. Um, so I think you should do that. And I think that as far as you you being older, I mean, well, why do you why should a woman want to do What type of Let me ask you this first though. What type of woman do you want?

Uh, you you know what? Um, I just want a woman, you know, who who is supportive, who would listen to me. um you you you know just um you know um who who wants to support me and be home and and you know I'm the type that you know a woman don't have to be like a Beyonce or a model or an actress. I just like a woman who is uh nice to people who is who is nice to herself who who wants a family.

Okay.

And the um whole n

Okay. And you said you 38?

Yes, sir.

Do you have any children?

Um, no. Um, I just have a godson.

Okay. Have you ever What was your last relationship? Have you ever like been in a long-term relationship with a woman?

Oh, yeah. You know what? I'm going tell you what. The the the last relationship I was in was a good three um let me see. It was in 20 um 22 and um her name was Diamond. And um and u me and her broke up because you know I mean um I was different and and of course she was different. She always you know my pockets always asking for money. You you know every time I go shopping I spend $500 or $600 on her. It it was like she always want more out of the relationship.

Okay. So So you Okay. So, was you a trick? I mean, were you a like a Was you a sugar daddy to her?

You you know what? I'm going tell you what. When I look back on it now, man, I'm going tell you what. Um I think she saw me as a person who can she could just can, you know, just take my money from me and not, you know, um hand me her time.

She wasn't taking your money. You was giving your money away. That's not her fault. That's your fault. You control access to not her. So, she wasn't taking your money at all.

Oh yes sir. Oh yes sir. I was um I figure you know if I buy her all the things she wants and always take her shopping and always do what she wants you know I can win her over. But but but um man I mean I was wrong.

I would be setting you up and the next woman up if I just tell you just like oh get you need to fix yourself first. You don't get a woman by spending your money. If you really want to know, a woman, if if she really like you, she gonna want you to keep your money because she wants you to keep your money because she's thinking long term. A woman that really like a dude don't need money that's going to make her go over your head over here. If she [ __ ] with you, your money is supposed to be an asset to yourself. But your money is not supposed to be the main asset that's going to attract a woman to you. A good woman wants a man to keep his money so that she cuz she looking at him from a long-term perspective. he going to be a man that's going to be taking care of my kids or taking care of me, taking care of the family, take care of the household, or she's not going to want you spending your money on stupid. You don't keep a woman around you by just spending money on her, bro. So, you need the whole entire dynamic mentally before you start dating a woman. And you at 38, so you a little bit too old to not know better. But I think you need to watch a little bit more lives and start to take and take heed to the game and then you may be better over time. But you got a lot to work on, though.

Oh, yes, sir. And and thank you, sir. Um, so so much.

Okay. Well, I appreciate you coming up, bro.

Okay. Okay, sir.

All right. Good luck to you. I mean, it sounded like he had like a level of autism, so I was being transparent with that. Some people have different levels of autism. It is what it is. You know what I'm saying? Ain't nothing to joke about. And then, uh, tell he had like a speech issue. So, I'm like, that need to be your focus before the relationship. Try to fix that and focus on that. But you know, good luck to you though, bro. But you got to get the game more cuz spending money on abroad and thinking that's going to keep her around ain't going to work.

Nothing. Just chilling. How are y'all?

I'm doing good. What's on your mind?

Okay. So, I asked you a question earlier. Um, should you take a man back after they cheated? Mm.

And like I want to know like if they're willing to change and they're changing and they're showing that they're changing, should you still leave or

Well, if they cheated, why you leave in the first place if you don't go back? I tell women all the time, if a man cheat, leave the first time because if you cheat, if he cheat and then you go back, you wasted your own time. You should have just stayed and just let him deal with women on the side. Be in an open relationship at that point. But closed on your end, open.

I don't I feel like in my situation it's a little tricky cuz I've been with him since I was 16 and I like lost my virginity to him and everything. So

So

I'm 21 now and I feel like I invested like six years of my life.

Okay. So again, my point still stands. If you was going to leave, you should have if you since you already left, your best bet is to continue to be gone. It doesn't make sense for you leaving and then going back. So if you leave and go back, you're the real idiot.

That's true. you might as well just let him deal with his old woman on the side and just stay. That's what I advise women to do for any woman listening to this. This is my advice to you. If a man cheats on you, leave the first time and never go back. And if you leave and then you go back, you're an idiot because you should have just stayed. You wasted your time, his time. You got mad and did all for what? You might as well just stay. Let him deal with his little onet on the side and you just be the main girl. Women do it all the time.

All right. All right. Thank you.

Welcome. Are you having a nice one?

Likewise. Good luck to you. Yeah, man. At that point, you might as well just you might as well just let the cheat. So, ladies, leave the first time. If he cheat, leave. That's my advice to any woman. I don't got to tell the men this cuz the men, you already know this. You don't get tired of answering the same question. Oh man. Oh. Oh man, that was funny as man. Yes. Yes, man. The Hell yeah. Damn, man. I'm sick of this, man. I'm tired of this. I'm getting the up, man. Just gave me a whole life realization like tired of this. Yes. Look at this. Damn. Speaking of that, I'm about to get off. Y'all either gonna show some love to the live or donate. I'm getting the hell off. We at 125 right now. And there's 344 people in here. That's Y'all got to show love to the live, man. Donate to the live, man. If y'all do want me to stay on, show love and donate to the live, man. If not, I got to go ahead and call it. You feel me? So, if y'all rocking with me, show love to the live, man. Donate to the live. I appreciate a couple people that did donate. But if y'all want me to stay on, man, you got to show live. If not, I gotta go ahead and call. That was a funny comment. Whoever made that funny, man. Begging. Damn. I'm begging by saying I'm about to get the off live. That's not begging. But the only people who say that is people who are poor and jealous of me because I got people that donate to me. Because you wouldn't call it begging if somebody dropped an album and they wanted people to go buy their album. You wouldn't call it begging if somebody had a clothing line and wouldn't and wanted people to go buy from their clothing line. You wouldn't call it begging if somebody owned a restaurant and wanted people to go buy food from their restaurant. That's not begging. It's called you have a a a skill or a resource, whether that be entertaining, whether that be uh tangible benefit, whatever it may be, and you tell people to support what you do. The only people who think that that's begging are workers. You're a worker. You're a consumer. You're not a producer, so you don't understand this side of the coin. That's why you're on a fake page with no profile picture. That's the difference between me and you. You're a consumer. You sit and watch. I do. That's the difference between me and you, little boy. Anyway, shout out to the people that support my content. Shout out to my boy Coopa with the $10 donation. Much love to you family. I appreciate you, bro. I appreciate you. Only you in watching me, though. But always be a mother producer. Never be a consumer unless you consuming that's going to help you become a producer. Shout out to my boy Gday man with the mother $40 donation. Shout out to my mother people. Shout out to my mother post Gay. Thank you for the donation family. Take that as a piece of advice for anybody that watch my content. Always be and not even just if you watch my content. Anything that you watch, always be a producer and never a consumer. And if you are being a consumer, make sure that you consuming that's helping you become a producer. Something that I speak on every single day. One thing about my live, you going to be able to get some type of game and knowledge that's going to help you produce. Whether that be a family, being with your lady, ladies, being with your man, all that. Same with my in my YouTube channel. My YouTube channel ain't just Kiki. No, no, no. I talk about real. I got intellectual property that I give out and it help people in their area of their life. So, it's that simple. straight game. You already know that I how to donate. Anybody that do want to donate, you just got to hit the link in the bio and it uh it'll take you to whatever you want to donate on. I got PayPal, Vimmo, and Cash App. And I don't do Tik Tok gifts, y'all. For the people that don't know, I don't do Tik Tok gifts. Tik Tok take over 50% from all these creators. So, Tik Tok is really a scam app that scam people that do content on here. So, I only use Tik Tok for the algorithm. That's it. Uh but yeah. Yeah. Keep showing love to the line, man. I stay on this, man. But y'all got to show love though. Why don't you go on Twitch? I can't talk how I talk on here on Twitch. Twitch too sensitive, bro. Hey, no shout out, please. Love your content though. Thank you for the person that just sent that. I ain't going to shout you out, but thank you. I appreciate you. I'm going still say thank you even when y'all be saying no shout out. I'm going to say thank you regardless. Thank you for the $5 donation. I appreciate you. Thank y'all for the support. Shout out to Carmen. Carmen, thank you for the $10 donation. I appreciate you, Carmen. Thank you, sweetheart. Shout out to Carmen, man. Damn. Okay, there we go. All right.

Okay.

What's going on?

Hey. Hey. Yeah. So, um, back to earlier a little bit. one guy, the one that I mentioned recently, not the 2024, but this, let's just call him PD, right? PD that I did it with that said supposedly, um, he wasn't just trying to, you know, have sex. I asked him, again, mind you, cuz we already have done it, so I'm figuring now at this point, you don't give a crap about me, so you'll be as honest as possible. I asked him just recently, past 20 minutes, did you did I like present myself like that to you? Tell me why. He still says I can't say yes or no because everything is so new. Please tell me cuz I I just got to I might need to like book a session or something too. But why would he why? Like you're saying that men will tell you whatever they want to hear, but at this point he doesn't have to, you know, lie to me cuz we've already done it so it don't matter. So what? Like what is this? I'm like very confused. I'm trying to understand everything.

You're not going to be honest with you. You still want to [ __ ] even

though he already did.

You think cuz he you don't want?

Yeah. I thought men be like one and done. That's what I thought. I don't know nothing about men obviously.

I mean, see, sometimes we are, but sometimes we want to keep looking.

Why do you think situationships exist?

Situationships aren't a one and done. Situationships are we want to keep, but I don't want to take it there with you.

Got it. Yeah. I'm going have to book a session cuz I got some stuff. But yeah, I'mma just go through your prices cuz this ain't going to be solved in a one live question thing.

Honestly,

I'm available when you need.

All right. Thank you.

Appreciate you coming out.

I don't know why y'all be thinking. I'm be honest with y'all, man. Most men ain't going to do that. I get pushed back because I'm honest with women. The reason why my my content is so shocking to women and it's not really shocking to men because men know this that I say already. Women don't know. Women don't know. That's why women are so appalled like he disrespectful. No, I'm honest. I'm just telling you what the last five you gave who didn't tell you. But I get more push back than the last five who took you didn't take you seriously. I get more hate than them. I ain't never play play games with you. You hear me? That's crazy. But I'm seen as the bull. I'm seen as the bad guy. But keeping it 100 with the broad. I don't think it'll work. I don't think your internet connection working. Usia, it's just loading. So, I'm going to drop you down. I'm come back up though. But it's not connected. What's going on? Uh, okay. Melissa, is that how you say now?

Oh, Melissa. Yeah, you can hear me now.

Yeah, I can hear you. What's going on?

Okay. Um, basically I just wanted to talk about how how I can build back my trust again after he has got betrayed by someone that I was in a serious relationship with. So I um my ex I was with him since I was 18 and we were we were both were 18 and um we had broken up like around 2 years ago and and we had got back together. We recounted our relationship um this year and January going into February. But since then, before talking about the rekindling, he had um how he betrayed my trust was that he um always knew that I always had these values and these morals to like for myself as a woman that I was going to wait until marriage to have sex and that also because you know I'm still avered. He said he would wait and you know he told me multiple times that he loved me and he also respected the morals and values I set for myself and that about me being serious about my education and that when we was done with college that he was going to um marry me. So since then and because of that, another reason why I feel as though my trust was betrayed because when we were kept our relationship back in January, going back into February, he had um he tried to pressure me into having sex with him and I just was completely thrown off by that cuz you are somebody that I knew for years. We knew each other since we got out of high school. And for you to be someone that I was in a serious relationship in with and we got back together.

Hold on. Hold on. Hold on. Hold on.

What's your what's your question? What's your question?

Well, just basically how do I keep myself from um putting that like cuz now I feel like my trust for every man will be like just destroyed because of that. like do things to where I can put that um that trauma where I had I had gained from my ex onto other men. Like now I have to pass that on on to other men because he betrayed my um trust because like why is one person

making everything everybody else like why do y'all women think like that? one person did something wrong to you. So all men now can't be trusted. That's not a logical way to go about life.

Yeah. And I understand that. So like I just been trying to un like to learn different ways and like just

No, we never had sex. I'm still a virgin now. But that's the thing.

Yes.

How old are you?

I'm 20. I'm going to be 21 very soon.

Okay. Go ahead. What you were saying? Well, I it was just basic because like this is someone that I known for years. We were in a serious relationship and he would go on telling me that I was the type of woman that he would want to marry. He said plenty of times that he loved me and all that.

We got that. I'm not trying to be rude, but you I don't want to turn this into a a venting session.

So, we got that. He pressures you to try to have sex when you thought he you know he wanted to appreciate and you wanted to virginity. We got that. What I'm saying is why do all men have to be accountable? Why do all men have to be accountable for what one man did to you? Like that's not how that's not a logical way to go about like that's not what you

Yeah. And you're right about that. It's just that cuz it's I be having like I be struggling with my trust and I just felt like the trust I built up with him, it had got broken by that because he um knew what my moral was, my morals and my respectfully. I'm not trying to be rude, but I don't want you to go back and keep repeating the same thing. We got that.

What I'm focused on now is I'm trying to get you to understand that every man should not have to be accountable for what one man did to you. If a woman was to lie to me or cheat on me or do something that I don't with, I'm not gonna make every woman now feel my wrath or like make every woman like I may think twice before I do things. I may be a little bit more strategic, right? I may maneuver differently. I'm going to change the play using different strategy, but I'm not going to hold every woman accountable and have that trauma and baggage thrown on them because of what one woman did to me.

All right. Yeah. You know what? And I completely agree with that. I completely agree with that. That's the thing I'm just trying to learn to like to heal from that so that I won't project that onto every man that I meet cuz like who who's to say that every like just another man will try to like especially a man that I just met will try to tell me everything that I want to hear just to see if he can get the main thing from me. Like cuz compared to my ex was which who was someone that I knew

for years compared to somebody that I'm just now going to be dating. That's that's just a thing. Just really just a trust trying to make sure that I won't project that onto everybody else.

Look, I'm not trying to like downplay your feelings, but it ain't like I mean it ain't like he was it like a verbal thing. It ain't like he you like he he he I mean I'm not saying it's a bad thing. I'm not saying it's a good thing what he did, but it's like he's a man. Men are going to have urges. Men are going to do things. And I'm not like at the end of the day, you got to understand this. Most men that you come across going to want to sleep with you. Men want to have sex with women. That's not a weird thing. I don't know why women have this thing in your head where if a guy wants to have sex with me, that's weird. He's nasty. It's not weird and nasty. It's normal. Men have urges.

Now, you felt like it was a boundary that he crossed by knowing that that's not something that you wanted to do when he tried to maybe make a move on you. I get that. But sometimes men are not perfect. There's going to be chinks in armor. It's not like he you ain't like he like like like like I don't know. He he met what did he say something? Was it when y'all was in person or was it something that he said? Was it text messages where he was just kind of like trying to convince you to do it? Is that what it was?

Yeah, it was in person. And like he was trying to like get me to do it physically and I had to I had to physically push him off of me so that he can like I had to tell him like no I'm not ready to do that yet.

Let's stop there. So were y'all were in a situation where y'all were by yourselves? Correct.

Yes.

Were y'all kissing and touching and doing things like that?

I had to say we were just, you know, we was talking and stuff.

Be honest. Y'all didn't just go and then it got to the point like he was just, you know,

listen listen.

Y'all didn't just simply go from a normal conversation to him just whipping out in front of your face and standing in your face. That's probably not what happened. Especially for somebody that you claim you've been knowing for six years. There was probably some type of foreplay going on or some type of things that lead to sex. Kissing, touching, rubbing, cuddling, things. Oh my goodness. Things like that that lead to sex. So what I'm asking you is, were those things happening in that situation? Were there some touching, some filling, some kissing, and things that usually lead up to sex? Was that going on in that situation? Yes or no?

Okay. Yes.

Okay then. Sometimes we do like a little kid here and there.

Okay. I have to mute you because you don't know how to stop. Okay then. So, you put yourself in a position where you were given the okay for touching, feeling, kissing, and that's usually something that's going to lead to sex. So, so for a woman that's a virgin, that shouldn't even be in the the the cards for you. There should be no we're personal together, we rubbing and touching and feeling on each other because you know what that leads to. So, don't try to make it seem like it was just some random occurrence where he just y'all was just walking down the street and he was just like, see, like, come on, man. Like, y'all was on FaceTime and he was just like, look, and he just whipped it out. No, it was leading up to that. Now, I get it. That's not something that you wanted to do. But what I'm telling you is take accountability for putting that man in that position and putting yourself in that position because at the end of the day, you control access to sex. So don't blueball him and tease him and then be like, "Hey, how dare you." What do you think he's going to want to do? Of course.

Now, let me ask you this question, too. And I would hope that you could be honest. You got to unmute your mic. And I don't take nothing I'm saying personally. I'm just keep being real with you, though.

Oh, I'm not.

Have y'all if have have y'all ever did oral sex with each other?

No.

Oh. Y'all never did any type of oral sex with?

No. But he tried to. He tried to

he tried to

but I just wasn't ready. Like he would he would be ask he would ask me at certain times since I was not letting him you know have sex with me. He would try to do oral on me and I told him no I'm not ready for that

cuz I know you on him.

No.

Okay. I don't know if I believe that but I'm going to give you I'm going to give you a grace and say sure. uh with the leadup to that to the part that y'all was at where y'all was doing that. Don't you you made it seem like it was just some random occurrence. Y'all were already in a situation where that was kind of that's the leadup to sex. So don't be surprised. Don't do that.

Okay?

Don't put it don't like don't don't don't even do that. Like that's not his fault that he wanted to do that when you were literally given a red carpet for him to do it and then when he tried you were just like how dare you like no that's not the same thing. So I don't know why your trust would just be oh so broken. That that's not a that's not a no that don't really make much sense to me. I have to say that trust would um it just got broken because like it's cuz he just know that I'm not ready.

So then if you ain't ready don't be kissing and touching and rubbing and feeling. Don't be doing that either. Don't be in a private intimate setting. Don't be in a private intimate setting kissing, touching, rubbing and feeling. And then when he tries to take it to the next level, then you just act oh so surprised like how dare you would ever I could never thought that you would ever try to have sex with me. I know I'm kissing you and rubbing you and touching on you and feeling on you and cuddling on you and doing all this intimate stuff, but how dare you ever try to sleep with me? Like, that's basically literally what you doing.

Okay, wait. I just want to say this, okay? Cuz I did not I would never just initiate like when we would do something intimate like kissing. He mostly initiated that.

That's not the point. That's not the point. That's not the point. The point is you were in a a position where sex is usually the second part of what you did. So if you want to say that, hey, I don't like the fact that he did that, sure, I'm not disagreeing with that. What I'm telling you is you can't put yourself in a position to be doing all of that and then excuse me, expect him not to. That's the point that I'm trying to make. That's what I'm telling you. So, you lay out the red carpet for that. Don't lay out the red carpet if you don't know why to walk across that.

That's all I'm saying.

All right. You're right about that. It's um the thing is I just about the with the intimate stuff. I just didn't want to like come off like, "Oh, I'm not gonna kiss you or nothing like that." Because here you did, you were still complaining to me that I didn't show like I wasn't affectionate enough because I didn't want to come off to like as I was leading like trying to lead him on to

We got Let me ask you this question too. Why are you waiting until after you graduate? If that was supposed to get married, why do you need to wait till after you graduate to be married?

That was just a discussion that we had cuz we just we was um we very both of us are very um career driven. Like we very we are both um very just important on our careers cuz we both go to school for two major.

What career are you going for?

I'm going for nursing. He was going for engineering.

Okay. How much of the household bills do you want to be responsible for in a marriage?

In a marriage I say that um probably like the smaller bills like you know like if it's a question you have to listen to the question.

Wi-Fi.

Listen to the question. What percentage of bills do you want to be responsible for in a marriage?

I say probably the lower percent because

what is lower percent can be 49% or lower could lower percent can be 5%. It could be 1% it could be 20%. What percentage of for a third time what percentage of the household bills do you want to be responsible for in a marriage if it was up to you? I'd say probably about like probably 30%.

30%. Now,

yeah, based off the conversations we had with each other.

Okay, great. Awesome. So, if you only want to be responsible for 30% of the bills, you want children?

Yes.

How many children would you like to have in a perfect world?

I say my max is four.

How many to four? That's

have in a perfect world.

Oh, in a perfect world.

Sure. still like three.

Okay, three. If you're pregnant, you're not going to be able to work as much. Especially when you have three children that I'm assuming are probably going to be all around the same age for the most part. It ain't like one going to be 18 and one going to be one. Most people when they have kids, they have kids around the same age. One may be one, one may be four, one may be five, right? That's usually how it go. So, with that being the case, this whole notion of, well, I gotta go and get this career because I'm just oh so career driven. But then you only want to be responsible for 30% of the bills. Make that make sense to me. That don't make sense to me. You can't make it make sense to me because it don't. And it's a really delusional mind state that a lot of women have. I'm going to put all this energy in my prime when I'm the most fertile, when I'm the most attractive, when I'm the most feminine, when I'm the most sought out after by men. I have a man and I want to wait till a marriage and I'm young and I'm ready to be married or I I'm I'm I'm at the point where I can be married, but I'mma wait and give it some time and give it years and years and years and then I'm going to be married after I'm in my career and get my degree. But after I get my degree and then get my career, I want the majority to be a housewife. That doesn't make any sense to me. It's a delusional mind state to have. It don't make no sense. Anybody that's weird, you said we both owe so career focused, but you don't even want to be career focused even when you get into a relationship. You don't want to be career focused. You want to be family focused. You just proved it by saying you only want to be responsible for 30% of the bills. Cuz somebody got to if somebody working a full-time job, I mean, if y'all both working a full-time job, who going to take care of the kids? Most people can't afford a nanny. And if that's the point, then why you got you wouldn't want nobody else raising your children because that's essentially what a nanny is. They raising your kids, doing the motherly duties that you should be doing as a responsible mother. So, it's a it's it's a mindset that don't really make sense with a lot of women when y'all had that mentality.

So, what you holding off on marriage for? You shouldn't be holding off on marriage.

You was 16. You know him since you were 16.

Oh, no. Since I was 18. I'm 20.

Okay. I thought you said 16. 18.

I mean, you shouldn't be holding off. You You should be getting married and letting that You should be You should be letting it ride. It's I mean, hey, a man he gonna have urges. He's a man. It is what he

Okay. Yeah. That um just based on like on the context we used to have, I was just saying that we was both um agreed on that we was going to get like we wanted to get married when we were um both financially stable and and um and succeed in our careers.

You don't need to be financially stable. You're you're a woman. You only want to be responsible for 30% of the bills. Why do you need to be financially stable? You don't want to be responsible for anything. At least the majority.

But um I just I just what you know just based off what I was raised up raised up on as growing up that it's always good for a woman to always have her own money cuz you just never know what's a marriage. That's the problem with modern women. When you get into a marriage, nothing is your own. In the eyes of the Lord, in which y'all claim y'all believe in, you are one.

There is no my money, your money. And in marriage, it's our money. The problem is the selfish nature of a lot of modern women. The narcissism, my car, my clothes, my house, my money, my car, my this, my that. In a marriage, it is about unity. It's about one. There is no separation no more. So that's the problem. So yeah, if you an individual, sure. But in a marriage, if your goal is marriage like you claim it is, there is no my own. You're supposed to be interdependent. It's about being cooperative. Co-op means two.

Okay, I get where you come from. I I completely understand where you coming from.

Feminist mindset, feminist mindset that most of y'all women learn from y'all mothers cuz your mother ain't got going to like your mama got a married?

Yeah, my mom's married to my dad.

Okay. Well, who raised you to think like that?

I completely say both of them did. My my dad, he completely like make sure that I'm striving for my education cuz cuz he know I've been wanting to be a nurse since I was a little girl. So, this is just something I've been wanting to do.

That be the problem with a lot of these fathers because they don't teach their daughters. They they a lot of the fathers that's in the daughter's lives, they don't teach y'all to be, you know, wives. is they teach y'all to be independent and that's the problem too. So it ain't it's I ain't surprised unfortunately.

Okay. All right. Well, I do um take everything that you said into consideration, but I would just really just want to ask about that from this situation that happened with him cuz he is a ex now. I just wanted to make sure that I took in whatever I could about just not portraying the um the trust that was broken by him unto other men. That's just it wasn't mostly.

That's not But you keep saying it like it's a him problem. It's a you problem, man.

I know it's a you pro I know it's a me problem, but it's just I just wanted to make sure that I get more advice about that. And I'm going still do my more inner work about that cuz I know it's about me and making sure that I don't put that on to other men that I'm going to be meeting after. So I just wanted to ask about that.

You want to withhold your virginity until marriage. Don't end up kissing and touching and rubbing and feeling on the man which is the foreplay and which could lead to fellatio and lead to sex. Don't do that. And then blame him for trying to sleep with you even though you're literally living without. That's all I'm telling you to do. Don't do that.

Okay. And also about that with the intimacy that you said um I to be honest I really did not just initiate stuff like that. I didn't really do stuff like that.

Why argue defending yourself? I never said you did.

Okay.

That's not it has nothing to do. It doesn't matter who did. It doesn't matter if that was something that you didn't want. You would clearly say, "Hey, I don't want to be kissing and touching on you."

Mhm. Yes.

You didn't do that. So that's not that's that's irrelevant. What you're saying right now is irrelevant. It's

was he forcing to kiss you? Was he grabbing you and say, "No, you gonna kiss me." Was he forcing to kiss you

or was he's initiating to kiss and you just kind of followed suit?

Yes, I follow suit.

Okay, then. So, there's no excuse that you making then. He wasn't forcing you to kiss him, forcing you to touch him and rub on him or none of that. So, don't make it seem like you was just this damsel in distress that didn't know nothing and the evil big man came and just forced you to touch and kiss him. Don't do that. You are just as guilty as he is.

Okay. I just I was It's not about that him being just a big evil man about that stuff with the kiss. It was just him kept keep on pressuring to have sex like do the physical thing to where it was exact situation where I had to push him with food.

You don't get the you don't get it ma'am. I've explained it to you about five or six times. You still don't get

I don't know. I can't I explained it to you multiple times already. You still didn't get it.

Okay. But I also um understand about you um telling me that to make sure that I just don't really lay off with the intimate stuff to where I don't feel as though I am leading him on to want to have sex, to want to go further cuz I'm giving him that leeway by continuing with intimate stuff like that. Okay, I understand that part though.

Okay, I appreciate

Wait. Okay,

man. Man, dude. Man, it's like I didn't say what I said. It's like she completely just she Okay. I don't know. That woman is I don't know, man. Yeah. In one year or not the other. No, we not going to let that excuse fly fry or fray. The reason why I don't let that young age excuse fly is because we don't let men get that excuse. A man that's 18, 19, 20, 21, 22 don't get the excuse of, oh, he's just young and don't know no better. We hold him accountable as he was a man that's in his 40s. We hold him accountable as we will hold anybody else accountable. Women are gonna get the same treatment. We only let women do this age and she don't know no better. She's just young. But if it's a man, he got to be held accountable just like any other man. No bull. That's why women don't like accountability. Don't like accountability now. Cuz unfortunately older women love to just hide accountability from them. Run from that. We not going to do that. If you grown enough to vote, you could buy a car, you could buy a house, you can go to school, you could do any and everything in this life and you grown enough to deal with the responsibilities that come with dealing with somebody in intimate relationship. You you old enough to be a stripper. At 18 years old, you could be a stripper in the United States. So, if you old enough and grown enough to be a stripper, and you old enough and grown enough to be judged at the same standard as any other mothering grown woman out here, ain't no excuses. I ain't giving no excuses. Maybe some of y'all can. I don't do that. That's what's wrong with this generation now. I'm just young and don't know nothing. Well, you shouldn't be making stupid decisions then. If you don't know, then go sit your mother at home and listen to your mother parents and you don't know nothing or she don't know nothing. Well, she shouldn't have no mother dude and be private with him in any type of way. If you don't know, this is why the Islamic faith is so is is such a uh good in that sense of dating and relationships. In Islam, there is no there is no dating. In Islam, there is no dating. There is no none of that. The only thing that you do in Islam is if you do want to go on a date, the father got to be there or the first man in the family, the father, the brother, the uncle, the cousin. And that's the only interaction that y'all have with that woman is you, her, and her males in the family are around. That's the only time that they're around each other. They able to see each other. They meet a couple times. If the father and the brothers and the men of the family feel like it's okay for them to be together, then they get married. There's no dating and we talked for six months and we No, there's no none of that. There's no none of that. So this whole notion if if they if they can do it then anybody can do it. So this whole notion is like oh we don't know no better. I'm just young and come on man. Yeah that bull they frontal lobe not developed yet. I think that's a insane argument. Their frontal lobe not together but she can vote. Huh? Your frontal lobe is not fully together when it comes to relationships, but you can vote for the change in the direction of the entire American population and society. You can give your your take in foreign affairs. You can you can at 18. You never hear people say, you know, it's funny about the people who bring up the frontal lobe, they never say you you too young to be. They always say you just too young to be in a relationship. You too young. It's always women. You too young to be in a long-term relationship, but you're not too young to vote or do anything else that adults do in life. Make it make sense. You can go to prison at 18. Thank you, Louie. You can go to prison. You can go to prison at 17 for the rest of your life. But for whatever reason, when it come to a long-term committed relationship, oh, your frontal lobe was not developed. Or maybe they need to sit their mother house then. about that. [ __ ] going on, man. Next person, what's going on?

Hey, how you doing?

I'm good. What's on your mind?

Okay, y'all. So, before I get into what I want to get into, I wanted to ask if you're open with disclosing if you're in a relationship, unmarried, single.

I don't speak on that online. I don't speak.

Okay. Well, we ain't going to dig into that. All right. So, I'm single. I'm 26. And I just wanted to know what is like a good age range for me to date cuz I'm finding me talking to guys more 30, like 31ish to 38. I feel like they can like handle the weight of the woman I am. Someone that asks like, "As a 26 year old, should you be dating down like younger or should you be dating?"

What do you mean by handle? Before I even answer that, you said handle. What does that mean? Um, I've been running into a lot of people younger. I just feel like they're immature. In the weight of who I am, I feel like I'm more secure and more mature and I have a lot of things going on in my life financially.

Explain specific, please. Explain. Be specific.

Okay. I mean, I meet a lot of guys that don't have a lot of equivalence.

Hold on. Hold on. Keep it concise though. Go ahead.

Yeah. Facts. I meet guys that don't have an equivalence, you know, and they either be younger, sometimes they be older. So, I feel like

equivalence and maturity.

Okay. It could be it could be just with the material things. It be it be an imbalance with the material things and emotionally of course I said immaturity. So, I'm trying to figure out where is a good spot.

Energy. Energy. Respectfully, you're not being you you're not being uh definitive enough for me. You being real vague, emotional, maturity, material things. That's that doesn't mean anything.

Be just keep it 100. Hey, look, them don't make enough money.

Okay? They don't have a car. Most guys don't have a car. I have a car. I have my own apartment. They don't have their own apartment.

Okay.

Um but as far as emotional maturity, um I would say that I communicate a little bit better than most men younger than me. So with just that concise, you know, conclusion, you know, I was wondering like would cuz I can't really I can't really knock everybody down that's 26 or younger, but it's just seeming like the older guys can handle, you know, a little bit more.

Just real quick, let's stop using the term handle because you're not a horse, so nobody should have to handle you. You're not a her in a herd of buffalo, so nobody should have to handle you. You should say that older guys tend to be I tend to be more attracted to older men because they have more of the things that I'm looking for when a long-term relationship, which is normal. I advise women to date older. So, to answer your initial question, you 26, you should be dating anywhere between 26 to 40. That's what I would say. Personally, I think your desired age range should be late 20s, early 30s, though. That's what I would say. So, 26, I would tell you to date 28, 32, 30. That would be a good range for you to date. That's me personally, right?

And you should be dating for marriage. You shouldn't be dating for fun, dating because he's cute, dating because he tall, dating because of cool. You should be dating for marriage. Mean, you want to be his wife. So, you should be operating like a wife. Not even when you get the man. Before you get a man, you should always be operating like a wife. That's number one. Uh, now to this other point though, when you mentioned emotional maturity, a lot of women use this term and they don't even know what mean. A man and a woman is not the same. So, we not going to respond to emotions the same. We're not going to react to emotions the same. We're not going to channel emotions the same. And we're not going to express emotions the same. So what I noticed when a lot of women use this term emotional maturity. Their thing of emotional maturity is well he this man isn't emotional like me. So that mean he's not emotionally mature. He doesn't want to open up about his feelings like me. So that mean he's not emotionally mature. No, you dealing with a man.

Men don't operate like women. We don't deal with our emotions like y'all. So that emotional maturity thing is a such a vague term with a many different definitions of it. So that I don't I don't know if I really want to go there with it because it depend on who you come across and it's about compatibility. But men and women are not the same when it come to that. So respectfully I'mma leave that emotional maturity thing to the birds because that that that doesn't your way of it. It's probably not how most men are and when it come to that. But I will say uh it's in your best bet to probably date dudes that are older than you. And yeah, it's normal for you to want a man to have what you have or or more. That's normal. That's human female nature to want that.

Appreciate that. And my last question is, what's your ideal type of lady that you look for to settle with?

Be attractive, cook, clean, shut the up. Um, and um, you know, love love on your man. Love on me. You know, don't be loyal or be loyal. Don't suck nobody but my that's about it.

All right. Well, thank you so much. My DMs is open.

I appreciate you coming up.

All right. Thank you.

Okay. Oh, boy. Unless y'all get past that 300. What's up, Lana?

Hi. How you doing? I'm doing good.

Um, I just heard a quick question because um, I just want to get your perspective on

Respectfully. I heard a smoke alarm beep. No, no. I got two rules. You can't be on a fa a page where you're not showing your face. And rule number two is no smoke alarm beeps. Everybody know that. You probably new here, so don't take it personally. But those are the two rules that I got. Everybody that watch my live know that. No fake pages, no smoke alarm beeps. So once you fix your smoke alarm, then you can come back up and I'll be more than happy to talk to you and help you out with your situation. Respectfully, you didn't know that. It's all good. Now you know. And now you can go fix your smoke alarm and then come back and then I got you. I'm here for you. What's going on, Genesis? Oh, she dropped down. All right.