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Reddit as a company has never been well-ran, has it? Despite being in existence for over two decades now, it somehow only had three quarters of profitability in that time. Despite being in the top 10 most visited websites on Earth for over a decade in counting, how do you even pull that one off?
Well, just between all the unforced errors, senseless controversies, and missed monetization opportunities over the years, like I'll never forget what Reddit did with cutting off API access to apps like Apollo. Rest in power.
But more importantly for today's topic, Reddit's also been home to a shocking number of conspiracies over the years. And I'm sure if you've been following the news lately, you've seen a certain conspiracy come to a head once more. And with all the running around over the files lately that's jogged my memory on a lesser-known conspiracy. One forgotten with time, one adjacent to Jeff. Adjacent in theory, sure. Sure. But also adjacent by proximity, physically, literally. That's right. Today we are talking about Jizlain Maxwell's secret Reddit accounts >> plural.
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Now to start, who is u/Maxwell_Hill? Maxwell_Hill was the first user in Reddit history to get 1 million karma. In fact, at the week that Jizlain Maxwell got jailed, they had the eighth most karma of all time on Reddit out of like a 100 million plus users. To this day, actually, they still have the 14th highest karma of all time despite not posting since like 2020 or something when Jizlain got jailed. We'll get to the conspiracy, but in terms of what else they've done, they've posted almost every single day for over 14 years in order to get there. And they were moderator or head moderator of top subreddits such as r/technology, r/worldnews, r/travel, health, economics, environment, cyber laws, badcopdonuts, politics, pics, funny, the AMA subreddit, WTF, Obama/Suicidewatch, ironic, and um r/greed among others.
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Now to establish the fact that Maxwell_Hill is Jizlain Maxwell, I'm going to go over some convenient coincidences that have cropped up over the years. Now to start, did you know that Maxwell_Hill is actually the colloquial name for Jizlane Maxwell's familial estate? Named as such after her father bought it. But, you know, maybe coincidence. Uh, speaking of coincidences, in the 14-plus year posting history of Maxwell_Hill, what few gaps they did have in their posts conveniently lined up with key events in Jizlain's life? Like, for example, did you know that when Jizlain Maxwell's mother died, there was a 3-day gap in the posting history? Or what about another 3-day gap that occurred back when there was a Silicon Valley VC party led by Reddit where Ellen Pow, former CEO CEO at the time, reported seeing Jazlain Maxwell. Kind of odd, don't you think? Even outside of this whole conspiracy, just take in the fact that Jazlain Maxwell was showing up at parties. And by the way, Ellen Pow said that everyone damn well knew what she did at the time. Like, just outside of this conspiracy, what the [ __ ] you know? But but whatever. Convenient coincidence. Who knows?
Also, Maxwell_Hill loved to post about their encyclopedic knowledge involving the age of consent and minimum age of consent laws around the world, including all of the riders and sublaws and addendums that are attached to each state by state. That's weird. Okay, I know a lot of weird [ __ ]. That's not one of them. That will never be one of them. There's no reason to know that. That's just an odd thing to know. Okay, that's just that's weird. Like you'd only need to know that and care to know that. There's no reason to be knowing those laws. Okay, I'll leave it at that.
Speaking of stuff that's sus, uh what about how they also keep posting advocating for CSAM? And look, Reddit was edgy back in the day. Okay, I get that. That being said, though, that is not something people were okay with at the time. And people commented at the time, too, just saying how weird and sus that was, which it was. Okay. Uh, speaking of other sus stuff, she also posted a lot complaining about all of the different overly strict child protective laws worldwide, which, you know, I am amenable to this because I do think there is a lot of overly strict laws around what children can and cannot do. Like, children should be allowed to go and play independently of their parents watching and overseeing. Okay? Their parents' protection should not need to be there and kids should not get cops called on them just because they're playing without their parents around. It's just I hate it. But that, of course, that's not the angle she was taking.
Maxwell_Hill also posted a lot in environmental subreddits that they also moderated, specifically around the topic of ocean pollution and ocean protection, which conveniently is actually what the proven interests of Jazlain Maxwell were charity-wise too. You see, Jane Maxwell was involved in a lot of charities around ocean protection and ocean environmentalism, such as, for example, the Tamar project. Hm.
Also, if you look at when Maxwell_Hill's account was created, it was in March of 2006, which is damn early for one. But specifically, it was 7 months prior to Reddit getting acquired by Conde Nast. Conde, that nasty publication owned Vanity Fair, by the way. Vanity Fair, which wrote a puff piece praising Epstein back in the day called The Talented Mr. Epstein. Now, with that connection in mind, reflecting upon my own mind and experiences, I should note that acquisitions, if I had to put a number on how long DD was supposed to be, I mean, it takes as long as it's going to take. Okay. But if I had to put a, you know, median number on it, I'd say half a year. Oh dear. Half a year. 7 months. Close enough. Okay.
Now, hear me out here with the Conde Nast connection between Epstein and Jizlane. Let's hypothesize. Maybe, just maybe, Maxwell_Hill was created as a DD account for Jizlane Maxwell to conduct DD on behalf of Conde Nast and then helped 7 months later broker the deal for it to close. And then she stuck around and kept posting, seeing the value that Reddit gave. Yeah. Okay, we're starting to get loose here. All right, but [ __ ] it. I'm just dumping every piece of evidence I could find online on this.
Okay, speaking of which, did you know that the biggest posting gap in Maxwell_Hill's history as an account was a month-long gap surrounding the disappearance of Madeleine McCann? Madeleine McCann was abducted or some [ __ ], I forget, but the police released a sketch of the perpetrator that they believed did the abduction or whatever the hell happened. And if you look at this police sketch, shockingly, does that not closely resemble the visage of Justine Maxwell? Hm.
Speaking of Conde Nast, mass media, and all that, Justine Maxwell's family came from media empires. Also, apparently they're in the spying business. But but media mogul nonetheless, including such major publications as the Daily Mirror. So, one could maybe surmise that Jizelle Maxwell, if she showed skills, could rise to the top of any digital media platform that she wanted to, like say Reddit, just like how Maxwell_Hill has. Hm.
And then just to end it off, we got this Gizmodo interview that Maxwell_Hill, the prolific Reddit user that they were at the time, gave back in the day where they mentioned one Jason Calacanis. Jason Calacanis tried, failed, tried back in the day to create a Reddit clone, but Jason was just not known at all outside of certain VC kind of startup circles. And Jason Calacanis allegedly was named in Epstein's black book, apparently. Just lovely, lovely.
Now, in terms of what was done to disprove all these theories, the main thing that came up is a Vice article. Now, this Vice article essentially just made fun of all the different people out there who are seeing all these conspiracies and what amounts to just a series of convenient coincidences, which, fair. But alternatively, if we look at who benefited from Maxwell_Hill, arguably none more than Vice. You see, Maxwell_Hill, the number one source and publication they linked to over their whole 14-year history was Vice, sending them billions of views in traffic, likely. And overall, the amount of monetary gain they got from that was probably a lot, right? So, convenience, of course, they're defending Maxwell_Hill, okay?
But guess who else is? It's the mods who claim to work with Maxwell_Hill too. A lot of mods would say, "Okay, we uh we knew Maxwell_Hill. It was actually just a British man in Malaysia. And the reason that they went offline is simply because they were getting harassed for being called Jizlain Maxwell," which again, fair, except for the fact that that can't be the case. Cuz on one hand, sure, okay, they did claim to be a man whenever they commented anywhere online. Okay. Alternatively though, if we look at the way they spoke, if they were really British and living in Malaysia, they would speak British. But they spoke American, just with random British words thrown in. Like, uh, what's a British word? Regardless of what you want to say, okay, that is not how a British man would speak. They would speak British online. They would not speak American with some British words thrown in. Okay? And furthermore, when you look at the comment history of Maxwell_Hill, you'll notice they just say, "Oh, I visited Southeast Asia and all the countries there once." If you actually were born there or at least were living there, you would never say you visited once.
But to top it all off, there was a second account that came up during this recounting of what Maxwell_Hill was. It was called Annutensil or something. Now, Annutensil, if you look at their history, they never spoke to anyone else. All they did was mod a [ __ ] ton of subreddits. They're in this Reddit mod Illuminati, I guess you could say. And when you look at what they've actually done, they've [ __ ] up the politics subreddit and the technology subreddit to the point where the technology subreddit got removed from the default 25 that every Reddit user gets subscribed to when they create an account. Genuinely, look this [ __ ] up. It's crazy. And so a lot of people there would complain that this girl, they never messaged or communicated. So they were doing all these crazy mod moves and just when anyone tried to ask them about it, they could never get a hold of them. They would never reply, right? And that can't be done when you're a mod.
Now, Annutensil, if you look at who's inviting them to mod all the same subreddits, it's Maxwell_Hill. It's Maxwell_Hill. Maxwell_Hill was the one who would invite Annutensil to all these subreddits. And if you look at what Annutensil would do, it's almost like they're a lap dog acting on behalf of Maxwell_Hill. The reason I'm bringing all this up is because Annutensil went dark at the same time as Maxwell_Hill, despite no heat being upon that account. Now, if you think about it, right, if there was truth to the reason those mods gave that it's just a British man from Malaysia or whatever and they were leaving Reddit because of all the harassment, then Annutensil would have continued on because Annutensil is clearly Maxwell_Hill's alt account. That's a big thing. All these Reddit mods do. They have this nesting doll of different accounts that they're secretly behind. So that way if they get demoted or whatever, if there's anything that goes wrong, they just have another sock puppet to take over and take charge of. And so nothing material actually happens. They get to continue on with their role despite any sort of controversy or malfeasance that they've done. So that being said, if they left the internet because of all the harassment about being Maxwell, that would mean Annutensil would have continued on. But they didn't. They left at the exact same time. And again, I damn well know that Annutensil is a sock puppet for Maxwell_Hill, whoever that may be, simply because if you look at Voat, Voat was this Reddit alternative during 20 the mid-2010s. There was this big free speech thing and everyone was like, "Oh, I'm leaving Reddit." And so, Voat was created and uh it was quickly abandoned. But if you look at when Maxwell_Hill made a Voat account, it was on a specific date. And if you look at who else made an account on that exact same time, it's Annutensil. And Annutensil is Maxwell_Hill, regardless of what you take away today. Okay, I hope I've made that clear. And if you do take the mods' message at face value of, oh yes, Maxwell_Hill is a British man from Malaysia who simply stopped using Reddit because they got all these accusations, and Annutensil would have continued on and yet they [ __ ] [ __ ] [ __ ].
All right, I I got to be honest here, guys. I've been holding out on you. I got a smoking gun that's going to tie all this [ __ ] together in a pretty bow. Okay? And it's that Maxwell_Hill has publicly stated their birthday is December, but it is after the winter start. So after December 21st. When is Jizline Maxwell's birthday? Huh? December 25th. That's right. That means without a doubt confirmed that Jizlane Maxwell is Santa Claus. No, but like seriously though, okay, has anything been irrefutably proven here today? Hell no. Okay, and look, okay, I get it. I get it. Correlation does not equal causation. This is all just a series of coincidences and it can all be explained away, that doesn't mean anything happened. Okay, but [ __ ] it. I want to believe. And is it really that unbelievable? Be honest with me. Is it? Because hell, I would have told you a decade ago if you told me that there was a man who's already been jailed once for the crime of trafficking children. And he's out there and it's an open secret that he's doing it again. And he's got an island in the Caribbean that he brings them to and brings who knows, God knows who, Stephen Hawking apparently, but just who knows who else onto this island and he flies them and the girls out on his private jet that is called the Lolita Express. I would have said you're smoking crack. I wish I had my meth pipe right now. But like my point being is that this is just insanity. And yet everything I just said to you is irrefutable. Like this is undisputed. Everyone agrees those are the facts. That all happened. It's legally known in court. This isn't some conspiracy. This actually is all true. And I remember hearing about this in like 2015 and [ __ ] probably even earlier for all I remember. I remember hearing all this [ __ ] and I thought, I mean, sure, maybe, I don't know, that sounds insane, but whatever. And disregarding it. And yet it was all true. And so really, with everything you've heard today, is it really that unbelievable that Jazlain Maxwell was one of the top Reddit users and Reddit mods in some secret cabal there? Hell no. I believe that Jazlain Maxwell is apparently going to testify soon. So she's probably going to be dead in a jail cell soon. Who knows? And if you're going to ask me, net loss, do you believe that there's some shadowy cabal of elite pedophiles? Yeah, I'd say there probably is. I don't know that. But like Christ, if you're going to offer me a wager on it, I'd bet every dollar I had. And honestly, the more I think about this, the less insane it sounds because I can see a rationale for it. Not that it's rational, to be clear, but I can see a story, a throughline for how this makes sense. And it makes sense in the same way that you see a lot of rich people be kleptomaniacs, right? You know, there's a bit of a stereotype. You saw it in Breaking Bad, for example. Hank's wife was shoplifting. She does not need to shoplift. There was no economic reason for them to shoplift. And there's no reason to shoplift to be clear or steal anything. But that being said, if you're going to shoplift, if you're going to expect that of someone, you're going to assume the poorer you are, the more likely you would be to steal things, right? And yet there's this archetype, there's this stereotype of like this person who is wealthy and yet still steals. Why? Because it's not about the money or lack thereof or abundance thereof. In fact, maybe this abundance causes this compulsion because when you have the money to do it, it's just done, right? But when you actually want the thrill of a devious lick, that is something money cannot buy. You can't purchase the thrill of heisting something. Okay? The only way you can get that thrill is through heisting something. And so, a lot of people, even though they have no economic reason to, will still steal because that's the only way to get that thrill filled, right? And so in that same vein, if you are truly wealthy, especially to the point where there is nothing you cannot get, what are the few things left that are thrills? I guess I mean, I'm not explaining it as in a way of like this makes sense in a justification. I'm just saying I can see a story for how they come to be this way. But I do believe that there is a group of people who are that way. In the same way there's a bunch of rich people that still steal. I think there's a bunch of super wealthy people or very powerful people or whatever who are just doing kids for the [ __ ] of it. It's just because there's nothing else left to not do. It's the one thing they still can't do and so they must do it to get anything out of life. It's just I I don't know. I just I don't know.
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You know, it really does feel like they're flying by the seat of their pants on this one. It started with campaigning on, "Oh, we're going to release the files." Then they get in power, say, "Drops imminent. It's on someone's desk right now being reviewed." And then, "Wait, no, no, no, actually, it was never real. In fact, we looked into it. There's nothing weird going on there." And then next thing you know, "The file never existed. Shut up. Stop talking about it." And now, "Oh, they do exist, but it's fake. It's fake news. Obama made it. Somehow he went back to the future or some [ __ ]." Like, none of this makes any goddamn sense. And some of you, some of you foolishly may think that this is just like any other flip-flop Don does where he'll be back in a week or two and all the different people will be suddenly falling in line once a unified message comes out. But I don't think Teflon Don's slipping out of this one quite so easily. Cuz you see, he's seriously gone from saying "release the files" to "hiding the files" over the span of two [ __ ] months. Like this is unexplainable. Epstein literally had a thousand-plus DVDs all with names on them. He handwrote names for who was on the DVD. Do they seriously expect us to [ __ ] believe that Epstein just made a thousand DVDs all of himself and then just wrote his own name individually on each one of them? [ __ ] off. Okay.
And let's be real here. If Epstein had any friend in life, it was Donald. All right. Trump and him have gone back many, many decades together. And they've both gone on record glazing each other multiple times. Trump himself has said he loved Jeffrey Epstein. They've been great friends for 15-plus years at one point and they both love beautiful women on the younger side. He knew. Okay. Epstein himself, for Christ's sakes, said Trump was his best friend in life for over a decade. Trump bought the world's biggest underage beauty pageant and then famously would walk in to all of their changing rooms while they're changing constantly. They're [ __ ] hiding it because he's okay. I bet he has been on his own [ __ ] for [ __ ] sake.