Transcription
You should do a dopamine detox. They said, "Dopamine detox is dopamine detox." Dopamine detox. Dopamine detox. It will reset your brain, stop your scrolling habit, and turn you into a productivity powerhouse. They said, "Here's four simple ways to reset your dopamine levels, retrain your brain to live in the present moment again. If you do anything this year, please let it be healing your relationship to dopamine. And all it takes is deleting a bunch of apps, hiding your television, your earbuds, and quitting caffeine, sugar, and other substances cold turkey."
I hate to break it to you, but they were wrong. Dopamine detoxes don't really work. You know what does work? That dreaded d-word, discipline. Raise your hand if you've ever done this. You decide it's high time to kick that nasty scrolling habit once and for all and read more books, teach yourself a new skill, and finally write in that journal that's been sitting in your shelf for three years. I know you have one. So, you delete Instagram and TikTok, turn off notifications, and set a time limit on email. You feel so light and free for a day or two, maybe even a week until you download TikTok again and you're right back where you started.
It's not that a dopamine detox has no benefits or is completely unfounded, but it's been turned into an internet trend that frames it as a quick fix rather than part of a sustainable lifestyle change. So today, I'm breaking down why dopamine detoxes aren't all they're cracked up to be, what self-discipline actually is, and four tips and mindset shifts to show you that discipline is not as scary as it sounds, and how you can start practicing it today.
What a dopamine detox is and isn't. So, a quick lesson on dopamine. It's a chemical messenger in your brain that plays a role in many bodily functions, including movement, memory, attention, and mood. However, it's most known as the motivational hormone because it motivates you to seek out pleasurable experiences like eating sugary foods. That first feeling of euphoria upon eating an Oreo spikes your dopamine and motivates you to grab another one.
In 2019, psychologist Dr. Cameron Sepa coined the term dopamine detox, which he conceptualized as a means of managing addictive behavior over a long period of time. The detox or the fasting period allows individuals to get comfortable avoiding impulsive behavior. I've linked Dr. Sep's write-up in the description down below, which I do recommend checking out because it is quite interesting. But at its core, his original dopamine detox is an exercise in mindfulness. He encourages you to ride the wave of discomfort when an urge comes up until it dissipates and you can let it go. Unlike most dopamine detox hype you see online, the original detox occurs in small increments of time that are lengthened and then repeated over the long term as you build your tolerance. Say, 2 hours every evening and then one full day of every weekend, then one full weekend every month. It was never supposed to be a one-time 7-day protocol. It was also never intended to be a true detox because, as a naturally occurring chemical in your brain, you can't detox from dopamine as you might say, caffeine or nicotine.
But the key to doing this is to reduce our exposure to the triggers associated with the rewards that initiate the wanting for the rewards in the first place. After all, it is these cues that initiate the craving and the desires to engage in behaviors that help us get their rewards. Thus, just cutting out rewards doesn't necessarily stop the brain from making us crave them, activating dopamine. In other, simpler words, if you find, say, scrolling pleasurable, seeing your phone or hearing a notification is the dopamine trigger that motivates you to check it. The less you see and hear your phone, the less dopamine is stimulated and the less we're drawn to it. So, repeating this exercise will make you more comfortable around your triggers.
All of this seems perfectly reasonable and makes total sense to me. But as is often the case, once the internet gets its claws into something, it divorces that thing from its original intent. The standard description of a dopamine detox as it appears on TikTok and YouTube is this: For at least 24 hours or up to 7 days, you're to cleanse your life of all screens, sugar, substances, and sometimes even books, music, and human interaction. If you survive, your dopamine levels will be reset and you'll no longer crave those instantly gratifying yet undernourishing rewards. We've already established that you can't detox a natural hormone from your brain, but neither can you reset it because there's no way of determining what your baseline even is. Instead, ironically, going cold turkey on everything that gives you pleasure is likely to make your dopamine spike even higher than before. Anyone who's tried to go screen-free all at once, myself included, knows that that first time back on your phone feels extra good and your scrolling habit seeps back bit by bit.
All of this is to say, there is no quick-fix magic trick that's going to end your scrolling habit once and for all. As Dr. Sepa explains, what does work is saying no over and over again until you can control your habits rather than letting your habits control you. But that requires discipline, a skill you can build.
When we hear the word discipline, we often imagine detention in the principal's office, military boot camp training, or that 75 Hard challenge that was trending a while back. Discipline is akin to punishment, or at least a grueling routine. But it doesn't have to be. The Merriam-Webster dictionary defines discipline as: noun, control gained by enforcing obedience or order; orderly or prescribed conduct or pattern of behavior; self-control. verb, to punish or penalize for the sake of enforcing obedience and perfecting moral character; or to train and develop by instruction and exercise, especially in self-control. I'm going to focus on the self-control aspect because that's really what we're talking about here.
Many of you might be watching this after seeing my previous video on self-education and how teaching yourself new things can be the best defense against brain rot. Well, it occurred to me after posting that I didn't address the hardest and probably most important part of that whole process. The moment when you decide, "I'm going to do this." Be honest. How often have you seen a cool idea on YouTube or read something neat in an article and thought, "I love that idea. I'm gonna start doing it," and then didn't? Guilty as charged. I don't approach self-discipline from the perspective of gaining self-mastery or becoming some idealized superhuman version of yourself. I think of it instead as the ability to cut through temptations and distractions in order to pursue the things that would lead to a richer and more fulfilling life. Whatever that means for you specifically. It can be empowering instead of punishing, freeing instead of restricting. Because the fact of the matter is, if we don't have self-control, then something else is controlling us. And social media, streaming services, phone interfaces are designed specifically to control your attention for as long as possible. The term "attention economy" exists for a reason.
Now, maybe you're thinking of discipline as a personality trait, one you either have or you don't. That's why I like the second definition of discipline: the verb, to train or develop by instruction and exercise. Maybe it's true that some people are just born with a greater propensity for self-discipline than others, but regardless, it is a skill that you can strengthen and develop over time, just like any other skill. As Dr. Sepa's original dopamine detox illustrates, "Discipline is the practice of doing something hard and sitting with discomfort over and over again until it's not so hard and not comfortable anymore."
Hey, editing Joe here. Real quick, I wanted to clarify that I'm applying discipline only to bad habits and daily distractions, not true addictions. And I was very careful not to use that word in this video. Those are far more complicated issues that may benefit from professional help. It's not the same thing at all. And I just wanted to make sure we're all on the same page about that.
Well, that's where my four top tips that I personally use to practice self-discipline every day come in. But first, I should probably introduce myself. If you're new around here, hello. Hello. I'm Joe, and this is Thought Couture, where sensitive souls can build a creative life despite constant distractions and find inspiration in great art. I post videos every 2 weeks or so, such as video essays on literary and cultural happenings, discussions of classic literature, and practical advice on reclaiming your brain like this one. I also have a Substack newsletter where I post more personal reflections on being an aspiring writer and multi-passionate creative, book recommendations and reviews, and creative interdisciplinary prompts. When you subscribe to the newsletter, you'll receive a free ebook, "Well Read in 32 Weeks," an 11-page reading plan of classic books I've personally read and loved that will give you a solid foundation in great literature. Classic lit and reading in general is a fantastic way to practice self-discipline and deep focus. So, if you don't know where to start with your discipline practice, you could start there. The Substack link is down in the description, and your reading plan is linked in the welcome email. But if you're only a video person, I respect that, and you know which button to hit.
A quick note on bootstrapping. You've probably heard the old saying, "Pull yourself up by your bootstraps." Often shortened to bootstrapping. This means to pull yourself out of an undesirable situation with no outside help, often by sheer force of will. At least in the US, you most often hear this phrase in reference to poverty. "Oh, you're struggling to feed your family? Well, just pull yourself up by your bootstraps and make more money." Or, "Are you having a hard time losing weight? Well, just eat less." Or, "Are you depressed? Have you tried just being happy?"
I bring this up because there is a bit of an overlap between discipline and bootstrapping, and the two are often conflated because, well, there is an element of willpower and force in discipline, there's just no way around it. However, the main difference is, without any outside help. Self-discipline does not have to be an agonizing, solitary venture. Nor do you have to completely ignore the messy realities of living in order to be a disciplined person. Because that's another element of bootstrapping, insensitivity to the fact that change is hard and often there are factors outside of our control like finances, health, or time. That's why I get a kick out of the "just think positive" cure for depression. Do you not think I tried? That would be great.
Which leads me to my first mindset shift: Don't aim for perfection. While reading and researching for this video, I came across the writer, podcaster, and retired US Navy SEAL, Jocko Willink, who's pretty much the embodiment of discipline as relentless self-mastery. Like, he posts a photo of his 4:30 a.m. workout on Instagram every single morning. That's not us. As a former Navy SEAL, Willink is an extreme example of self-discipline that few people can ever match. But we still have a tendency to hold someone like him as the ultimate goal because he is absolutely impressive. Don't get me wrong. When we set a largely unattainable standard for ourselves, we set ourselves up for failure from the get-go. You are going to have days where you feel like crap and accomplish nothing. You're going to have days where you give into temptation and wish you made a better choice. And that is okay. You'll come back tomorrow and try again. Because self-discipline doesn't mean you must get it right every time. It means you keep showing up for yourself even after you get it wrong.
And now for the single most helpful trick in my arsenal, in my opinion: visualization. We're going to get a bit "woo" for a moment, but such is the tradition on this channel. When you're faced with a choice of something you know you should do and something you'd rather do, I want you to take a minute or five, close your eyes, and imagine how you'll feel after you finish doing that thing. And not just imagine it visually, but really feel and embody the feeling as viscerally as if you really had just finished the task. One simple example that most of us can probably relate to is making the bed. I know I should make my bed more often than I do, ideally every day, but I have this weird space behind it that makes the whole process awkward and difficult and cumbersome, and I just always put it off. But if I pause for a moment and imagine the end result, I see a cozy, freshly made bed where the blankets are nice and tight, not sliding off, and I feel how much more comfortable, even luxurious, it would be to fall asleep in that bed than whatever this is. Now that I've reminded myself just how much I enjoy a made bed, I'm going to be happy that I did it, even if the process itself is kind of annoying.
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Here's where a dopamine detox can be beneficial and why I don't totally disparage them. It gives you the opportunity to experience the benefits of being screen-free so that you can recall them later. Because if you never have time away from the screens, how will you know how good you could feel without them and how much richer analog activities can be?
The decisive moment. In his best-selling self-improvement tome, Atomic Habits, James Clear relays an anecdote from the famous choreographer Twyla Tharp. She describes her sacred morning ritual of waking up early, getting dressed, hailing a cab, and working out at the gym. At first, it seems like her sacred ritual is the workout, but it's not. It's hailing the cab. Clear calls this the decisive moment. It's the very first and often hardest step of a habit that will determine whether you follow through with the whole task. Twyla Tharp, for example, has to get in her taxi before she can reach the gym. So, once she's in the taxi, what's left to do but go work out? Sure, she could turn around and go home, but why wouldn't she when the hardest part, the decisive moment, is already done?
So, I must admit, in the past few months, I developed a nasty habit of doomscrolling r/politics before bed instead of reading. Horrible way to end the day. Screen time limits and app blocking haven't been really helpful because, truthfully, they're kind of easy to get around. But recently, I've started using the decisive moment combined with visualization to break the habit. My decisive moment is to plug my phone into the wall and simply open up my book. That's it. Technically, I'm free to close the book and go grab my phone, but at that point, I've never actually wanted to. The hardest part, grabbing the book, is already done. My phone's not within reach, and I know damn well I'm going to feel way better after reading than scrolling. I'm currently working on an Atomic Habits walkthrough/review video, so stay tuned for that. But I'll reveal right now that the decisive moment is probably my favorite tip from the book. It makes self-discipline easy and even unavoidable when you focus on such a small action. Some more examples of decisive moments are putting on your running shoes, buying ingredients for a recipe, or simply sitting in front of your piano.
Peer pressure, the good kind. Remember how bootstrapping doesn't encourage outside help? Well, here's the opposite of that. Connecting with others who are practicing the habit or the skill that you want to develop can be a phenomenal motivator and take some of the guesswork out of self-discipline. For example, do you want to read more? Book club, preferably in person, but online is fine, too. When you're in a group setting where you'll be expected to talk about a book, choosing reading over scrolling is going to be way easier. It's using peer pressure and a bit of embarrassment at looking incompetent to your advantage. Or say you want to finally take up gardening. Is there a community garden you can join? Taking on the responsibility of helping to feed your neighbors is a surefire way to get your booty outside. Getting involved in some sort of group, especially an offline one, has the added benefit of ensuring you're going to have a regular screen-free time while you're interacting with the group. Connecting with others in this way might start out as a way to force yourself to make better use of your time. But of course, the ultimate goal is to enjoy the work and the connections you've made to the point where you're no longer forcing yourself to go.
I'm going to put a list on the screen of more communal ideas that can encourage self-discipline. So, pause and take a screenshot if you'd like it. Now, admittedly, I don't think it's ideal, but it is possible to find these groups online, and an online community is still way better than none. My main hesitation about online communities is that distractions are still easily accessible, and you have to work harder to make sure your environment and your mindset are primed for avoiding them.
In case I haven't mentioned it yet, which I don't think I have, this whole video started as a diary entry to myself earlier this year when I succumbed hard to doomscrolling, emotional eating, and just not following through with the writing I said I was going to do. After I started practicing self-discipline in one area, specifically when I started writing for my Substack and holding myself to a regular writing routine, I realized I was building a skill that bled out into other areas. I started picking up my book before bed more often than my phone, washing the dishes instead of letting them sit in the sink for days. And I recently got back into keeping a food log and being more mindful about what I'm eating.
If you spend any time on the internet, which you clearly do, you know that we're living in the golden age of self-care, of being gentle and kind to ourselves. By and large, this is a very good thing. However, it can be easy to forget that self-care can and should include being strict with ourselves when it will benefit us in the long run. In the case of self-discipline, when exercised often enough with whatever tools, resources, and mindset shifts you need, that strictness turns into routine, and that routine turns into the thing you truly want to do.
Well, that is it from me today. Thank you so very much for watching. If you enjoyed this video, don't forget to leave it a like. That is the easiest and fastest way to support the channel. Don't forget you can also follow me on Instagram and Goodreads.com. And at this point, I would say if you wanted to watch another video, it should be this one. But uh, that kind of goes against everything I just said. So maybe get off your screen now. Anyway, again, thank you so very much for spending your time with me. I hope you have a lovely rest of your day, and I will see you in the next one.