Transcription
90% of success in anything is just discipline. We spend years in school but don't learn much about it. Here are seven stoic lessons to help you build strong self-discipline and emotional control.
These lessons come from a book that I recently read titled "Discipline is Destiny: The Power of Self-Control" by Ryan Holiday.
Number one: The battle against pleasure. The body is stupid. You must save it from itself. The body wants to eat until it's full, but it ends up way past that point. The body wants to drink until it's drunk, but we only wake up when we are beyond drunk. The body wants what it wants now; it can deal with the consequences later. We have to be smart and stop it before that happens. If you're stuffed and uncomfortable afterward, if you're hung over and when you wake up you're filled with regret and shame, the next morning was it really that great in the first place? Don't just think about what pleasure you'll get; think about what it will take from you. Think about how you'll think about it afterward, when your pants are too tight or when you catch yourself in the mirror wondering how all this happened.
Self-discipline is not about refraining from excess because it's considered a sin or morally wrong. Instead, it's about avoiding a life filled with unnecessary suffering and negative consequences that we create for ourselves when we give into every impulse and desire without restraint. We risk creating our own personal hell right here in the present. It's important to understand that abstinence and restraint are not the same. Abstinence means avoiding something altogether, while restraint is about exercising moderation. It's about knowing how to approach things in a balanced and appropriate way based on our bodies. Being disciplined doesn't mean denying ourselves happiness; it means being responsible and understanding our limits. It's about knowing when to stop before things get out of control. For example, it's having the strength to leave the table before overeating or enjoying just one drink instead of going for more. Discipline isn't a punishment but a way to avoid negative consequences. It's an expression of self-value. We must prioritize our minds over our bodies and avoid temporary distractions and pleasures.
Number two: Seek discomfort. Seneca was a rich man with inheritances from his father and successful investments he made across the Roman Empire. Despite his riches, from time to time, he chose to live in discomfort. For several days, he would wear rough and old clothes and even sleep on the ground with only a piece of dry bread and water. Seneca took great care to ensure that his experiences of discomfort were genuine and serious. When advising a friend to try this voluntary discomfort, he emphasized the importance of eating hard bread and sleeping on a hard piece of wood to make the experience authentic and not just an amusement.
Now, why did Seneca do this? Seneca knew that most of his fellow citizens, without complaint, lived in the same circumstances that he was voluntarily living in for a few days. And this was the point. By intentionally subjecting himself to these conditions, he sought to prove that enduring such challenges was possible and actually typical for many of his fellow citizens. Many of Seneca's wealthy friends were terrified of living in such conditions, which made them anxious and risk-averse. By facing these hardships voluntarily, Seneca would say to himself, "Is this what you're afraid of?" Going through this voluntary hardship helped Seneca build perspective and resilience, enabling him to face adversity with greater strength. Ultimately, this practice even saved his life. When the emperor Nero became unstable, Seneca offered all his wealth for his freedom. Nero was shocked and he couldn't believe someone would give it all up.
In contrast to Seneca's approach, many of us avoid anything uncomfortable. We believe that success means never struggling and always having what we want at our fingertips. Why be cold when we can turn on the AC? Why carry heavy things when someone else can do it for us? Why walk when we can drive? We don't realize how dependent this makes us. It spoils us and creates perfect conditions for failure. It also makes us fearful. We get addicted to our comforts and then we fear losing them. But some people value discomfort. They challenge themselves by running marathons, sleeping on the ground, lifting heavy things, or enduring manual labor. Seeking pain toughens us up and makes us less afraid of challenges. Self-discipline starts with our bodies, but it does not happen automatically. We must expose ourselves to challenges because life will bring severe discomfort someday. We must be prepared. Those who can handle tough times and accept the change are harder to defeat and happier overall. We should be moderate now when times are good because good times never last forever.
Number three: Quit being a slave. Dwight Eisenhower achieved great things in his life. He fought in battles, defeated the Nazis, occupied Germany, wrote his memoirs, and became rich. But in 1949, Eisenhower faced a new challenge: conquering himself. He had a habit of smoking three to four packs of cigarettes daily for 38 years, and he knew it was time to quit. Although it may not seem like a big deal compared to his other accomplishments, anyone who has struggled with addiction knows how tough it can be. But Eisenhower had incredible willpower. He decided to quit smoking cold turkey. He said, "The only way to stop is to stop," and he never touched a cigarette again. No one forced him to quit; it was his personal decision. He believed it was his duty to take care of his body and protect his health. By conquering this inner demon, he added years to his life. With a strong and healthy body, he could continue to serve the world. He led NATO and eventually became the president of the United States during a challenging time.
In today's world, we can get hooked on various things like cigarettes, soda, TikTok, Instagram, or playing video games. It doesn't matter if these habits are considered acceptable or not; what's important is whether they are good for us. Just like Eisenhower's smoking habit was harming him slowly, many of our habits might be doing the same without us realizing it. But even if they don't harm us, why should we let these habits control us? Why should we take orders from our belly? We should be the boss. Neither the body nor the habit be the boss. Slavery was a deeply inefficient economic system besides its misery and cruelty. Why would you choose to be a slave to your habits? Here's a simple test: If these things were introduced to you today, knowing all the risks and consequences, would you still start using them? Would you still smoke, drink, or pursue a lifestyle if you knew it would lead to unhappiness in the long run? Just because you started in the past doesn't mean you must continue. Now you have the power to choose differently. No matter how powerful you are, there might be some bad habits you're struggling with right now, but the good news is it's never too late to beat them. Take inspiration from Eisenhower, who quit smoking at the age of 58. What counts is not how long you've had the habit but what you choose to do about it today. Choose to stop now. Choose to stop being a slave.
Number four: Avoid the extra. Cato the Elder was known for his remarkable frugality. He lived a simple and humble life, never wearing expensive garments or spending extravagantly. He would drink the same wine as his slaves and often worked alongside them in the fields. Cato's philosophy of minimalism extended to his home as well. He lived in a modest house, taking inspiration from his hero, Cincinnatus. When emissaries were sent to bribe Cincinnatus during the height of his power, they found him in his kitchen boiling turnips. His simple lifestyle showed them he didn't care about getting rich; he couldn't be bought with money. Similarly, when Cato was offered expensive gifts or rewards for his political work, he declined them because when we desire more than we need, we make ourselves vulnerable. Being a little hard on ourselves makes it harder for others to be hard on us. Being strict with ourselves takes away others' power over us.
Another excellent example of the power of simplicity can be seen in the boxer Ruben Carter. During his unjust imprisonment, he deliberately lived with very few comforts. He didn't have luxuries like pillows, radios, rugs, or TVs, which made it difficult for the guards to have any leverage over him. By depriving himself of these amenities, Carter asserted control over his own life and became less vulnerable to manipulation. It can seem like the life of Cato or Ruben Carter is difficult, but in many ways, it's easier. Less to worry about, fewer rings to kiss. No one is having less fun than a person with debtors at their door or a person who is forced to keep working harder and harder to maintain his luxury lifestyle. In our modern world, we often find ourselves surrounded by temptation and the pressure to own more and more. Advertisements and social influences on us can make us believe that we need certain things to be happy. Ask yourself, haven't I and humanity survived quite a long time without this? How long did the happiness last the last time you bought the thing you craved for? This new thing you crave will not make you happier either because the last one didn't. If you need proof, go check your wardrobe. Think about how happy and content you were with less just a few years ago. Do you look back at those younger years and feel bad for having less? Probably not. Those were the happy days you almost missed them. Now, things were simpler and cleaner. Here's a powerful secret: the less you desire, the richer, freer, and more powerful you become. It's that simple.
Number five: Slow down to go faster. Octavian became Julius Caesar's heir when he was only 18. A year later, he promised Rome's leaders at the Forum that he would reach the same heights as his adoptive father. Despite his ambitious plans, he didn't hurry. Instead, he took a slow and careful approach, learning from his stoic teachers at the Naus and Aras. Dimus, Octavian co-ruled with Mark Antony for a decade and then led the Senate for almost 5 years before finally becoming Augustus Caesar in 27 BC. His journey to power was slow and intentional. When Octavian took control of Rome, he transformed it from a city of bricks into a grand empire of marble. This transformation didn't happen overnight; it required time and attention to many small details. Octavian's approach teaches us the value of disciplined pacing and the importance of getting things done properly. Hustling doesn't always mean rushing; it's about getting things done properly and efficiently. It's okay to move slowly as long as progress is steady and consistent. We must manage the impulse to rush, both in response to external pressures and our own eagerness to dive into action. While this eagerness is valuable, it needs to be properly channeled. If not managed well, it will quickly turn from an asset into a liability.
Number six: The difficult life is the best life. King George IV was famous for his love of food. He would have a massive breakfast with pigeons, steaks, wine, and brandy. Over time, he got so fat that he was afraid he might not be able to breathe if he lay down to sleep. Even signing documents became a challenge, and he had a stamp made for his signature so that he didn't have to move much. Despite his responsibilities as a king, he ignored his duties and fathered several children outside of his marriage. He seemed to believe that he was above the rules of health and mortality. He thought his body could endure endless abuse without consequences. However, his careless lifestyle caught up with him, and on a summer night in 1830, at 3:30 a.m., he faced his death. He was surprised to realize that he was dying and shouted, "Good God, what is this?" Recognizing it was death, he grabbed the young servant's hand and said, "My boy, this is death." It was as if he was shocked to find out that his poor health habits had finally led to his death.
Compared to King George's self-destructive lifestyle, let's turn to the inspiring example of President Theodore Roosevelt. Once, Theodore told his father not to scold him, or he would have asthma, and on many nights, he did. Despite being born weak and facing health issues like asthma and poor eyesight, he chose a different path. He embraced the difficult life and made physical activity a priority in his life. Encouraged by his father, he engaged in various physical activities like rowing, boxing, wrestling, hiking, and football. He believed in pushing himself to be active and energized throughout his life. Even when he became the president, he continued his commitment to exercise, making time for a couple of hours of daily physical activity. A couple of hours each day as the president. Who do you think felt better when they woke up in the morning? The lazy King George or Roosevelt? Roosevelt's example is a powerful reminder that being active and embracing the tough life can lead to achieving great things. We are meant for more than just existing and looking for pleasure. Nature has given us amazing gifts. We are incredibly evolved beings at the top of the food chain. Will you let your abilities waste away today? Many young Americans can't join the military because of health or fitness issues. Being careless with our bodies is not a joke; it's a matter of national security. If we want to be great and productive members of society, we must take care of our bodies. It's not just about the gym; it's also about what we eat and avoiding harmful substances. Our bodies are like high-end race cars, and we need to fuel them properly. Life is full of problems and tough situations. Sometimes our work might not go as planned, and we might face difficulties. However, when it comes to exercising, we have the power to control it. We can choose different activities like swimming, weightlifting, jiu-jitsu, or long walks, but the key is to be active. Self-discipline is not about saying no to pleasure; pleasure is the reward for our efforts. Taking care of our bodies, controlling our desires, working hard, and exercising is not a punishment; it's the way we earn the pleasure.
Number seven: Silence is strength. The Spartans were known for their courage and strength, but they had another impressive quality: they were masters of self-discipline. When it came to speaking, they had a way of using a few words to make a big impact. When threatened by powerful enemies, they responded with short, powerful words, showing that they were not afraid. For instance, when told that Xerxes' arrows would block out the sun, Leonidas replied, "Then we shall fight in the shade." When another conqueror threatened to slaughter every single Spartan soldier if they breached their walls, the Spartan simply replied with one word. If they never used two words where one would do, they never used unnecessary words. Never oversharing. Less is more powerful than saying a lot. Despite having the power and authority to say whatever they wanted, the Spartans chose to hold their tongues. They didn't feel the need to prove themselves by talking constantly or engaging in pointless arguments.
Today, technology makes it easier to share our opinions and jump into discussions, but the Spartan's lesson is to resist that temptation. You don't have to verbalize every thought or give your opinion all the time. Just because there's a pause doesn't mean you have to fill it. Just because everyone is talking doesn't mean you have to jump in. You can sit with the awkwardness. You can use the silence to your advantage. You can just wait and see. You can answer the question with "I don't know." You can ignore the insult. You can decline the invitation. You can decide not to explain your reasons. Of course, you can do all of these, but will you? Cato chose to speak only when he was certain that his words were not better left unsaid. Two ears, one mouth. Zeno would remind his students, "Respect that ratio always." Regret what you didn't say, not the other way around. Let them wish you talked more.
Thanks for watching and have a great day.