Why “Let Me Know If You Need Anything” Isn’t Loving the Way We Think It Is

Hello. Hey guys. I hope you are having a great week. Um, to be honest, it has been a week if you know what I mean. Like it has uh when I'm recording this life has been lifing and honestly I was just texting a friend. I hate when I say life has been so busy and things just feel crazy and how are we already almost, you know, like all this time has passed.

Um, we are about to head to Texas when as I'm speaking and I'm like how is it here? Um and then sometimes I get so tired of hearing myself say that. You know what I mean? Um but a lot of people that I care about too are walking through some really hard things. Um and so I am someone who I have a hard time you know they say like you can care but you really can't carry it like you can help shoulder. Um that's what scripture says and shoulder those burdens. I know we're already jumping in the deep end, but um you can't carry it yourself and taking on that weight. And so a lot of times will will be like, hey, you're doing it like you're picking up something. Um and you know, we already have the weighted vest of life and then we add the weight and then we can actually execute and help other people. It kind of makes us ineffective. Um and so anyway, all in saying that, life has felt just like a little bit more fragile. Um, and just reminded of the brevity of life, you know, which is wisdom, helpful, like we need that. Um, but with saying that, and I don't don't mean that doom and gloom. That's just this side of heaven, honestly. That is life. Um, until we get him to be with Jesus. And so in thinking about that, um, it's really brought up this topic that I wanted to address because I've talked to a lot of friends about it and in different seasons that I've walked through myself where things have been hard. Um, or just honestly a season of season of, you know, unmet expectations or tragedy or struggling or whatever it is. Um and so wanted to think through um so essentially today's podcast would be why let me know if you need anything isn't loving the way that we think it is. And I want to talk about this because a lot of us um when we're emotionally stretched or mentally tired um or maybe holding something that you really can't put words to yet um you're in these spaces where we need to be reminded of this. Either we are the person with the prayer request or we're the person praying, right? And on both sides, these things are so important to remember. You know, we're going through those times and we're in seasons of drought or hardship or tragedy or whatever it is. Maybe it's just hard like nothing specific has to happen for life to feel heavy. And so I want to give you permission just be like, hey, there's also a reality that sometimes there's an undercurrent where life feels hard and you're just feeling the weight of it, you know, and so a lot of times during those seasons of our lives, um, you know, we're notorious for saying or for other people saying, "Hey, let me know if you need anything." Right? Let me know if you need anything. And you nod, you say, "Thank you, like, I really appreciate it." But internally something in you goes quiet, you know. Um, you say, "Thank you so much. I definitely will, you know, I'll definitely know. I'll definitely let you know if we need something." While internally you're like, "I don't even know what I need." Right? I don't even know what I need right this second. How in the world would I know how to communicate it to you? And so it's like as you're saying it internally, you're going, "Yeah, I'm probably not right." And I've been sitting with this lately, not with like criticism or judgment because I am absolutely guilty of doing this too. Um, but really just with some conviction and curiosity like Lord, how do we get better at this? How do we, you know, recognize? Um, and even thinking about all the different ups and downs we've had with Sledge's life, like really leaning into this. Um, because here's what I know to be true. Let me know if you need anything doesn't always land like love. And I think what we're actually craving in those moments, right, is something deeper and closer and more intentional than that. And so I just want to walk through this because um it's so important, you know, and Jesus tells us that loving him is loving other people. And also we are the people who need to receive love from others. And so, uh, I think this is a really important one. So, whatever you're doing, I hope that you'll like listen. And there's some really practical things in here, too. So, I hope that those will be of help um, and challenge you, honestly.

So, the first thing is this is when we respond this way with let me know if you need anything, we are requiring clarity from someone who already feels overwhelmed. When someone's in a hard season, like clarity feels like the first thing that they lose, right? Not just a I don't know what I need, but I don't even know how to think straight right now, right? They're juggling maybe doctor's appointments or what they're what the kids are going to do or they're navigating grief that that was unexpected or they're just trying to hold it together, right? For and be strong because they're kind of in the survival mentality right now. And if it's maybe not um as intense of a situation, but it's just life in general and there's just a harder season, there's still the mental gymnastics of the logistics of life. And that already feels a lot on top of the emotional weight of Lord, how what do I do? How do I walk through this? Where are you? What are you saying? Um the physical that our body takes on. So there's all these different elements. And so clarity a lot of times feels like the last thing that you have. And so even small decisions they feel heavy like what to eat, what to respond, what to say back, how to steward something. Um and also it's really interesting in times of grief there's I think what we feel like an expectation for how we should handle it. And so there's this weird like surrender to the Lord that we kind of go, okay, I can like I'm walking through this with Jesus and how I handle this the moment um and this this time, this season, this hardship, whatever might look different than someone else and that's okay. And there's permission to to walk it however you need to, you know. Um, and so just being aware too as people on the other side of it that a lot of times we have expectations of how people should be or how they should handle it or what they should do or what they should say. And for us to really be cognizant of that because that's so unfair and honestly everybody handles it so differently, you know, and so really just being in this position to continually humble ourselves and show up in love. Um, so when we say let me know what you need, I think this is what a lot of times people hear on the other side of that who are struggling, who are in the middle of a hardship. I think this is a lot of times what they hear. Figure it out and then come tell me, right? But what love does instead of that is it steps into the fog without them asking, without asking them to clear it, without saying, "Hey, once you figure out when is best for me to do this, once you figure out what you need or whatever it is, let me know." So then there's an added task, right? Let me know and then I will show up. Well, also then that places what they feel like is in a burden on someone. They're not going to follow through with that. They're not going to do that, right? They're already like, I I can't I can't even remember what I have going on tomorrow. And so what love does is says, hey, you know what? I'm going to step into the fog. I'm going to show up in the messy. I'm going to show up in the hard. I'm going to show up in the heavy. And I don't need you to provide clarity of when or what or how. I'm just going to do something. I'm just gonna love you right here and I'm gonna do it out loud. Um, and so maybe a question, you know, that would be good like a heart check for us is, am I asking them to translate their pain into something manageable for me? Okay, break that question down. Am I asking them to translate their pain into something manageable for me? Because a lot of times when we say, "Let me know if you need anything," we don't actually want to be inconvenienced. And I know that's kind of a hard pill to swallow because we want to be people of love. But love is willing to be interrupted. Love is willing to be uncomfortable. And guess what? Sometimes when someone is grieving, navigating a tragedy, um trying to figure out themselves what is the next step, um it's going to feel uncomfortable. It's going to feel like these are uncharted waters. They don't know. And so it's a willingness to step into that place to be love out loud to show up practically, whatever that looks like, and we'll talk more about that later in the podcast, but it means to step in in those moments. Um, regardless of if it feels like manageable. Now, I don't mean taking on more than you can actually offer, um, because that's not loving to you or them, but to not expect it to be convenient or comfortable, because it usually won't always feel that way. I love Isaiah 42:3. It says, "A bruised reed he will not break, and a smoldering wick he will not snuff out." There are seasons where people are not functioning at full capacity and scripture never shames that reality. Right? He honors fragility. That's a lot. That's what I think Jesus is speaking to in that scripture. Like he honors the fragility of the moment that we're in and how we feel. Um love does not require strength before it shows up. It meets people in the exact state that they are in. When someone is overwhelmed, this is important. When someone is overwhelmed, their internal world is often disoriented and nonlinear. Aka they already feel right the shakiness of okay, this is not what I was expecting. Nonlinear as in where do we go from here? This didn't does not feel like a formula, which life is not. But when they're in those moments, love that reflects Christ does not demand clarity. It doesn't demand that things make sense or um that will wait to show up when until things get steady or until they can communicate what they need, right? It brings a steadiness. Like the love of Jesus brings a presence that helps gently restore what has been scattered. You can never be their saving grace, but you can certainly point them to the one that is. You can show up in practical ways, and we're going to talk about that. That you can step in um knowing that clarity is the first thing to go when someone is in pain, when someone's struggling. And so love doesn't require it to show up. Love says there this is a season where it's going to feel foggy as to what you need and how you're doing. And I'm not even going to ask you those questions because I know you don't know. I know you don't even know how to answer those. I'm just going to show up. I'm going to um step into the fog with you. I'm going to be willing to be uncomfortable. I'm going to be willing to be inconvenienced. Um, and I'm not going to wait for you to be able to explain your need before I try and meet you inside of it.

The second thing is that phrase, let me know if you need anything, can actually place the next step on the person already caring the most. Right? Let me know. It sounds generous. Um, but it quietly hands leadership back to the person who's already tired, who's already exhausted. Um, it sounds like, right, the new mom who hasn't slept in days and she's like, "Let me know if you need anything." Yeah, I need sleep. I need to remember my last name and I need to brush my hair. I don't know. It sounds like the friend navigating infertility who is emotionally maxed out, right? It sounds like the parent worried sick over their child who is struggling with an addiction. It sounds like the woman or man carrying tension in their marriage but doesn't even know how to explain it. It sounds like the person who's trying to figure out the next step or after what feels like an atomic bomb that went off in their life, whether it's tragedy or loss or whatever it is, right? And in these moments, they don't just need help. They need someone to help them not have to lead for a minute. In other words, hey, you are in the midst of all of this what feels like like your life has just kind of been upended in a way. And even when it's not dramatic, even when it's not this crazy thing, we just feel like ah like I I I don't I don't know. Don't ask me anything. I don't even know. I don't want to have to make decisions. I'm also just like struggling. I can't even put really like words to the inner groanings that are like circulating inside of me. And so what love does instead is love absorbs the first step so that they don't have to. Right? They need someone to step in and say, "Look, take my hand. This is where we're going." Right? Or, "Hey, this is what I'm doing. This is how I'm showing up for you. I don't need you to tell me. I don't need clarity on like if this is helpful. I know this is a pragmatic thing that I can do or a way that I can show up in love um or offer the presence of Jesus in some kind of way, shape, or form. And so that's what I'm going to do. I am going to um I'm going to go ahead and be that step. Right? When someone is overwhelmed, even asking for help can feel like too much. Love removes that step. Love doesn't assign responsibility to the hurting. It steps in and carries responsibility with them. That is truly that shouldering of that burden. A good heart check is, am I unintentionally asking them to manage me while they're already managing everything else? I love Galatians um 6 2-3. It says, "Share each other's burdens." And in this way, obey the law of Christ. If you think you are too important to help someone, you are only fooling yourself. You are not that important. Whoa. Scripture does not mess around. I love it. It calls us out, doesn't it? Right? It's like, hey, the focus isn't on expect others to bear your burdens. That is self-focused, right? And always leads to pride and frustration and discouragement and even like depression. Instead, God always directs us to be others focused. That's the hope of the kingdom that we will look to others above ourselves. And here's the beauty of the kingdom economy. That when we are willing to look for others and consider others and humble ourselves and consider them above us, then they are taken care of. And when they do that and it's kingdom, you have that kingdom relationship, they do that for you and then everybody is protected, right? And so the scripture challenges me too because I'm not always great at receiving help. Um, I feel like a burden to people. I really like to be needed, but when I need something, um, I struggle with feeling like it's selfish. But what I actually learned and the Lord even kind of revealed it in a deeper way in in kind of leaning into this podcast is hey clear when you do that it's actually still self-focused because you are making the weight on you about like I feel like a burden and this is what I feel and it's about me and it's still that like self-focused mentality instead of allowing people to actually step in and shoulder that burden with me and walk in what scripture asks of them and I'm I'm taking that away from them because I'm making it about how I feel and um not wanting to feel like a burden. And sometimes the hardest part of love isn't offering help, it's receiving it. I I think when we do this, um I think sometimes it's just requiring or actually admitting that we that we need help, that we can't do it on our own, and that the help would be really helpful. Um, and we hate when we can't fix something or when we can't carry something and we're aware of our own humanity. Um, receiving help requires us to admit what we don't have, what we can't carry, and what we can't fix. And if we're not careful, we will call this strength. When it's actually a quiet form of pride that keeps us from the very support God is trying to give us through his people. When we had Sledge, I remember I mean of course like he was born at 26 weeks and you know I mean certainly not the plan uh wouldn't change anything about it. But I remember during that time, I didn't even know. I mean, it was truly like I was the Lord. I had a flashlight and I only knew the next step. I mean, from a very tangible perspective as far as Sledge's life. I mean, we really did only know each day. I mean, every day was different and we had to take every day. It was a day by day battle. And with that, I was so aware of my lack of control. Um, and I was so aware of my own vulnerability that sometimes I would reject the very help I was crying out for and not realize that that was just my fear. Um, it was something that I felt like I could control, like I could do this myself and that release was actually what like when I allowed people to actually help me. Um, it was such a blessing to me and to them and what actually allowed us to then then be part like an intimate part of our journey. And I needed that, you know, because it can feel really isolating when you're navigating hardship and you're in your head a lot or your emotions a lot or you're just in the crux of it. Allowing people to be part of that, man, is so honoring of what scripture asks and it makes us not feel alone in it. And then others get the privilege and the honor of walking it alongside us. That is biblical community. Caring when it talks about that in scripture is not symbolic. It is participatory. Like it means stepping underneath someone and helping them shoulder what they are holding. Not standing nearby and offering assistance if they figure out how to ask for it. Like biblically shouldering a burden is not standing on the sidelines and saying, "Hey, let me know if you need anything. Let me know if I can help. I'm right here. Right here if so." Right? Biblical community literally enters the situation, enters the discomfort, enters the uncertainty, enters just all of the fog and says, "Hey, like I'm already here. I have this part of it. You take that part of it. Hey, this is how this is how I can show up. You like rest your arms for a minute, take a breath. I got it. I got it. Right. Biblical community steps in and knows that caring is not symbolic. It is participatory. In seasons of depletion, initiating someone to be that person and step into the fog often feels like too much, right? Love that removes that extra layer of effort, allowing someone to rest in being supported instead of striving to articulate their need. I mean, I remember um when friends would just text me and say, "Hey, look, here are three different options. I can come on Tuesday and bring you dinner and drop it off at 5:30. I can um I can clean your house." That happened. Uh they didn't even give me an option on that one. But like literally saying, "These are pragmatic things. I'm doing one of them. Okay, you tell me what would be the most helpful for you." Or or not even asking and saying hey this is what I'm doing and it being something that um is kind of evergreen you know whether it's like meals in a freezer or hey I'm doing like your lawn no one's going to say especially too like a lot of times it just feels like man I know your life is busy I know you have a lot going on I know you have three kids or I know you have this going on like I don't want to put that on you and so then there's just still that kind of like restlessness and receiving help but when we just show up when we're already there and we're like, I'm here, so you're going to have to kick me out, right? Um, that's a different kind of help and it removes that that burden. Um, when people are feeling depleted, open-ended offers, this is really important, open-ended offers create emotional distance instead of closeness. And what I mean by that is that what we mean as support can sometimes feel like distance because it keeps things like kind of surface level. It's avoiding stepping into the awkward and saying I don't really know what to say here. I don't really fully know how to help you. And it kind of leave leaves the other person holding the right the weight. Right? So for the person hurting, it can kind of feel like I guess they don't just really want to step into this or I don't want to make things weird. I don't want to like maybe they really didn't mean that they would help me. I'm not really sure. It was kind of open-ended. Was it that a courtesy? Was that polite? You know, I mean, we're in southern hospitality world. Was that just like a a courteous response? I'll just keep this to myself, right? And when somebody is already hurting, they're usually not thinking clearly. Um, and so they're already overthinking, right? They're already trying not to be a burden. And so a lot of times instead of reaching out in those moments, most of the time when we need people the most, we tend to pull back. And it's just our human tendency to where when we really need for people to show up, when we really need to ask them, how are you? How's your heart? We tend to isolate and like withdraw. And so this open-ended offers of let me know if you need anything or whatever it is, it feels ethereal. It feels like I I I don't know what to do with that. And we already feel like we're pulling back. So we need someone to come to us. We need someone to draw us in. We need someone to say, "Hey, I'm already here. You're not a burden. You don't have to explain it. You don't even have to have the words. You don't even have to talk. I just want to be another body in your living room sitting breathing the same air and I brought some cheese and crackers. Who doesn't like those, right? It removes that weight and it's this willingness to be uncomfortable. Sometimes we just need someone to be willing to be in that space before we can even get to the part where we're verbally processing, right? But then when we do those those that dam opens and it's like oh my gosh I didn't even think I had access to that. But that is community. Community helps us get there. Sometimes it's that friend that's saying hey look like we're walking to this place. I know you're tired. I'm going to help you. I know you feel like you don't know where you're going. Let's remember the truth of God. What does he say? Hey, I know you feel like that life is just kind of crushing you. I'm here to tell you that. What does scripture say? That you w you you may be you may feel crushed but you will not be destroyed. God sees you. I want to remind you of truth and it steps in to that place. You know, I think about it too with just kind of these open-ended things, those weird tension kind of like pockets pop up of awkwardness and you kind of have like no idea um where it comes from. But I think a lot of times it's like imagine a person in really deep waters. Okay. And this is like a very tangible thing. This this sounds extreme, but honestly kind of is I think accurate to how we feel when we're in these really seasons of hardship and struggle and suffering and confusion and all of that and we're in these deep waters and we're struggling and we're like, "Oh my gosh." And we're just literally trying to stay above water. So we don't even say like, "Hey, like this is what I need." And the person who claims to be a friend is right there and says, "Hey, like let me know if you need anything." And we're like, "What?" Like, obviously obviously I need something, right? I'm I'm I'm in these deep waters. I feel alone. Can you help in some way? I don't even know. And what that does is that that exact thing, you kind of start to have this weird tension that pops up, kind of this awkwardness. And a lot of times when people go through hard stuff and they don't feel like people step in for them, it's not to say that they become bitter, but it creates this like relational kind of just this weird tension because really that's when we need to be immersed. Um, and both parties like leaning in and then being willing to receive that help. A good heart check for us is I am I protecting comfort or pursuing connection. Romans 12:15 says, "Mourn with those who mourn. Be willing for things to be uncomfortable and sad and confusing. And it's not a dark cloud on your sunny day. It's, hey, look, this is how things are fickle and hard and fragile until we get to be with Jesus. And there will be a time where it feels like I can't see straight because the rain is pouring down so hard. And I pray that somebody steps into it with me. And so I'm going to be willing to sit underneath this and it's not a dark cloud on my day. It's an honor. It's a gift. It's a joy to be able to sit in this with you and remind you that the sun will come out and that there is still a covering over your life and that God has not forgotten you. Right? Scripture calls us into shared emotional space, not distant acknowledgement. To mourn with someone means we are willing to sit in what is unresolved, messy, and not easily fixable. As humans, we really like for things to be fixed, to be buttoned up, to be put together, to be comfortable, to be easy, to be a relief. And actual biblical community steps into that as a willingness to say, "Hey, look, it's probably not going to be that." And can I tell you something? There will be so many times when you don't know what to say and when words feel absolutely hollow and meaningless. Most of the time, I remember in the hospital, I don't remember the specifics of people that text me or or what they said. I just remember that they took the time to text me. Did I respond? A lot of times, no. They didn't expect that. I just remember it was the reaching out, right? They usually don't remember like when people are are struggling or in the midst of hardship exactly what you dropped off, right? But they're going to remember the comfort, the encouragement, and the strength that it gave them. It may not sound life-changing, okay? But picking their kid up from school, dropping food off on their porch, cutting their grass. These practical acts of service are absolutely what it means to be the hands and feet of Jesus. He didn't love from a distance. Jesus never did. He got down low. He was willing to serve. He wanted to get uncomfortable. He stepped into people's stories even when it was complicated. Especially when it was complicated. Especially when it was messy. Love that reflects him chooses nearness over neatness. Knowing that presence is what heals isolation, guys, when we are in these times where we want to draw back, when people step in and show up, I have a friend who I remember I could feel myself going introspective and um I didn't even really know how much I was struggling until she literally popped herself on my couch and she was pretty much like, "Yeah, I'm staying here for a few hours." And it was like even in finally talking and and kind of like excavating it to my like to my own spirit. Did I even realize what I was navigating? And she knew that. I mean she the Holy Spirit had put me on her heart and she was willing to be uncomfortable. She was willing for her words to be lackluster as far as what she could offer me. It wasn't about that. What she offered me was presence. What she offered me was strength and encouragement because she was willing to sit there and endure it with me. You know, I want you to write this down if you can. Distance feels safe, but it's nearness that actually communicates love. You don't need the perfect words to show up. That is absolutely a lie. It'll keep you stagnant and stuck and you'll overthink it. None of that. All you need is presence. That is what people need. Let me know if you need anything. This this approach to it. It protects our comfort more than it serves their need. And this one's tender, but it's important. Sometimes we say, "Let me know." Because it allows us to feel like we've shown up, right, without actually being interrupted. It allows us to stay in control of our schedule, our energy, our convenience. And if they don't ask, we don't have to adjust. And we know deep down a lot of times they won't ask. So we get to feel like we were courteous, like we were respectful, like we showed up without actually having to alter anything about our lives. But what love does instead, what does Jesus do? He makes room. Love makes room even when it costs us something. In fact, I would say that love is only the choice of actually loving when it does cost us something. Do I want to be loving or do I want love to cost me something? Thinking about that. Do I want to be known as being loving or do I want to actually have to pay a price and sacrifice a little bit to truly show up for someone? First John 3:18-19 says this. Dear children, let's not merely say that we love each other. Let us show the truth by our actions. Our actions will show that we belong to the truth. So we will be confident when we stand before God. You know, biblical love, it's inherently sacrificial. It moves beyond sentiment and feeling and saying something into action that requires actual inconvenience. It reflects a savior who you talk about being interrupted. You talk about being inconvenienced. You talk about things being hijacked for him, right? Interrupted by the needs of others. This is a really something I want you to listen to. Okay. Growth in love. This was really challenging to me. Growth in love often looks like disruption. You may say that you want to grow more in love as far as being a loving person or become more like Jesus, but until you are willing to be interrupted or disrupted, you are showing the love of Jesus when it's convenient. And that looks nothing like him. When we allow ourselves to be interrupted, we've stepped into the kind of love that actually mirrors them as far as, you know, growth and love looking like disruption. I mean, we really like our schedules. We tend to be control freaks, right? But when some but when we are disrupted and we have a choice, then how am I going to respond? That is actually when we are choosing to be loved. That is when man, we get to choose our flesh or our spirit. And so that's when it really looks like biblical community when we are flexible and responsive and we're willing to be stretched for the sake of someone else. I want you to write this down. It's possible to feel compassionate without being sacrificial. But Jesus-shaped love always costs you something. Love that never never interrupts. You may not actually be love that carries someone else. It's possible. I'm going to say that again. To feel compassionate without being sacrificial. But Jesus-shaped love always costs something. It is possible to say, "Let me know if you need anything." And wanting to be a person who is helpful and kind and there for people and supportive, but keeping that at a distance, right? And it not not actually being being willing to interrupt your daily schedule and the convenience and comfort of your own life doesn't actually feel like love.

The last thing is that let me know if you need anything offers general care instead of specific support. General care sounds kind. Specific support, specific care changes things. Vagueness is is too many dots. Okay. When I am in a hard situation and something is vague, I then have to think. I have to choose. I have to respond. I have to coordinate. And when I actually need help, I just can't. Okay. I That all sounds like a lot that I'm not even going to just concern myself with. But when someone says, "Hey, I'm bringing dinner. Which day works best for your family? Tuesday, Wednesday, or Thursday? You tell me." Or, "Hey, I'm coming by at 2 and I'm dropping off a basket of helpful items. I love you. Or hey, I'm picking up blank for you. No need to respond. It's these where you just do you hear the difference? Like it removes the friction. It removes that awkward tension of do I respond? Am I a burden? Do I say anything? I don't even know. I don't even have clarity. What what do I what am I responsible for tomorrow? Is somebody already doing something? Do we have dinner? All those things. Nope. Just eliminates that. It removes the friction, removes the stress, and it adds relief. It adds relief. It adds ease to this person, this deep breath. That is love. Love becomes thoughtful, observant, and specific. Man, have I realized the importance of being specific with our prayer life and how we show up in love. The more specific that we are, um, it is really cool because the more that we get to, I think, notice the hand of Jesus because things stop being so ambiguous, so vague, so generic, and we really zero in on how we can show up and how God, what God is already doing around us and what he gets to do in us and through us. Um, a good heart check to remember is, have I actually considered what would lighten their load? Not just, this is what I usually do. I usually get um, a tava. Okay, it's just like which is great to drop off a lasagna. I'm not saying that. I'm just saying if someone already has a crazy meal train and that's not helpful, then like what else is helpful? Or if someone if it would be really awesome if you would help do something with their kids, how could you do that? If it would be really great for you to help them in some work capacity or whatever, like what would actually lighten their load? I think about it with love languages. We tend to love in the way that's comfortable for us and how we receive love. But thinking about how they receive love, what their particular situation would warrant, that is what actually looks like love. James 2:15-17 says, "Suppose you see a brother or sister who has no food or clothing, and you say goodbye and have a good day. Stay warm and eat well, but then you don't give that person any food or clothing. What good does that do?" So you see, faith by itself isn't enough. Unless it produces good deeds, it is dead and useless. I think scripture challenges, right, our vague compassion by calling us into tangible care. Love that reflects faith is not abstract, right? It's embodied. It's physical. It's sacrificial. It's responsive to real everyday needs. Jesus was a very practical healer. He didn't say, "Oh, well, you need that, but here I'm going to give you faith." Instead, I mean, it was often through his physical healing and his practical the practical needs that he met that people literally begin to walk in faith and believe, right? Specificity communicates attentiveness. It shows that we've not only seen someone's situation, right? We've leaned into it. We want to respond in a way that is truly helpful, not in a way that is comfortable. Vague care sounds kind. Specific care actually lifts weight. Thoughtful love pays attention first and then responds with intention. I want to be someone who notices and pays attention to what isn't said. Right? I want to be someone who sees the shift in someone's tone and says, "How can I help them?" I want to be someone who steps in not perfectly but attentively. And here's what I do know is you cannot love people well if you are moving too fast to notice them. You cannot help of any accord if you are living in a hurry and living rushed. You can't see people to even know what they need. And so how do we love? Well, the first thing would be slowing down, would be seeing people, and then would be stopping, getting specific about what they actually need, and then moving closer in vulnerability, moving closer amidst the awkwardness, and moving closer when it feels uncomfortable, moving closer when it feels like there's tension or uncertainty, moving closer, offering presence, showing up in specific ways. Um, however we can help. A simple practice for this week, maybe for you, is to choose one person. One, just one. Offer something specific and then follow through and stay present and pray. Man, if you pray for them, that is such a gift, but also do more than prayer. Choose one person, offer something specific, follow through, and stay present. Like you can even start with what's already in your rhythm, right? Your errands, your meals, your meal prep, your time, whatever. And then just extend it outward. Like, think about it. If you're making enchiladas for your family, get an extra pan and make one in a to-go container, write a note, and drop it off at somebody who they don't they don't necessarily have a meal train going. They just, you know, that they're struggling and it's probably unexpected, which is such a beautiful thing, right? And here's the kicker. Don't expect a text in return. Don't expect a thank you. Don't expect anything. Actually just give without the need for reciprocation. Um, if you do, if you are a part of the living room, the Substack, then you will see I'm going to send out a bunch of reflection questions and all of these notes and a couple other things. Um, I cannot tell you how much I am loving that community and I'm so grateful. I'm so grateful because I feel like we're actually able to like stay in a topic and talk about it and have longer form content. And some of you sometimes I could probably be too long. I know I'm working on it, but I'm just really grateful. Um, and so anyway, I'm going to end up with a prayer. And if you can close your eyes as always. If not, that's okay. Hey Jesus, thank you that you never wait for us to have the right words before you draw near. You see what we carry in the places we cannot explain. The quiet overwhelm, the unspoken needs, the weight we've learned to hold on our own. And still you move toward us with compassion that is personal and present. You are steady when we are scattered. You are clear when we feel unsure. You are in control when life feels unpredictable. And nothing we are facing is outside of your care. Let that truth settle in our hearts this week. Bringing rest to what feels hurried and peace to what feels uncertain. From that kind of love in us. Form that kind of love in us. Not from pressure, but from being rooted in you. Slow us down long enough to notice what others are carrying and remind us that we are not meant to carry everything. Teach us the difference between faithful presence and unnecessary striving. Where we feel tired, restore us. Where we feel stretched, then meet us with grace. Make us people who reflect your love. Present, aware, and anchored. Not perfect, but faithful. Not rushed, but rooted. Not in control, but deeply held by you. And your kind and steady name. Amen. I love you guys. I pray this was encouraging. Find your person. Take the enchiladas. Go mow their lawn. Do something for them for work. Show up for them. Sit in their living room. Whatever it is, show up in love. Be willing to get inconvenienced and uncomfortable and look like Jesus. I hope you have a great day. I'm so grateful for you and I'll see you next time.