Transcription
What is up everyone? That welcome back to my channel. In today's video, I am answering a question that I always get, and that question is, "Vanessa, I feel extremely lost. I have no idea what I want to do next in my life. Help!"
And the thing is, is that this feeling of feeling lost is a very familiar feeling to me, and trust me, you are not alone. I feel like at every stage of my life, whether that was in high school, university, or life after university, I've always felt some type of lost. For example, in high school, I was lost about which type of school to go to. Should I go to business school or should I go to makeup school? And then in university, I felt lost about which specialization I should choose. Should I go into marketing or psychology or human resources? And then life after university, I was lost about what to do with my career. Hey Siri, um, what do I do if I hate my job?
So yes, I'm pretty familiar with this feeling. So that's why in this video, I'll be actually sharing the three things that I did that not only helped me gain more clarity in terms of what I wanted to do in my life, but also help me become more comfortable with navigating the unknown.
Now, I think the first really important thing that we need to address is the shame and the guilt that you feel from being lost. We think that we're the only ones that feel this way, but I guarantee you, if you actually ask any other 20-year-old in this generation, many of them are lost as well. Now, these people who feel lost may not be parading around town telling everyone how lost they are, but just trust and know that you are not alone. And to not think of being lost as such a bad thing, because to me, I feel like being lost is actually a huge blessing in disguise. Being lost forces you out of your comfort zone to try new things and find things that actually make you fully fulfilled. And I truly believe that once you embrace this time in your life where you're still trying to figure it all out, and you also change your perception of being lost from a negative feeling to a positive feeling, you'll be able to navigate this thing called life with so much more happiness and ease.
At the end of the day, I think the reason why we feel so stressed when we find ourselves feeling lost is from us being so fearful of making the wrong choices and for these choices to ultimately turn into situations that we're going to be unhappy about for the rest of our lives. So with this logic in mind, knowing that the fact that we all just want to do what's best for us, what makes us happy, then why not choose a path that's based on your natural strengths? Not just the strengths and the things that you're good at, but the things that you actually are good at and enjoy doing.
Now, at this point, a lot of people say, "Well, I don't know what my strengths are," and I completely get it. I was totally there. But the one thing that really changed the way that I built that self-awareness within myself, and I started to pay more attention to how I feel. And what I mean by that is, when someone proposes you to do an activity, pay attention to how you actually feel about that. So, for instance, when you're at work and someone tells you to analyze a piece of data, pay attention to whether you are literally jumping out of your seat saying, "Heck yes!" and that you're excited to do something like that, or if your body is actually contracting and you're dreading the idea of even accepting this request.
Another example is when you are asked to public speak, let's say during a meeting or at an event. After you're done speaking, do you feel a surge of energy? Do you feel a surge of confidence? Are you proud of yourself? Are you happy? Are you feeling uplifted? Or do you feel completely drained, completely anxious, and you pray that you never have to do that again? These are the types of cues that your body is actually giving you. These are little nuggets of clues of wisdom for you to understand what things actually make you tick, what things actually make you energized, make you excited, versus the things that naturally drain you and that you naturally dread.
And once you've actually identified those things, start making a list of them. Start being ultra-aware by documenting all the things that bring you joy, that bring you energy, versus the things that drain you down, that you don't want to do. Those become your non-negotiables for the next step in your career, in your life, your relationships.
And what Tony Robbins teaches us is that as humans, so you're actually more conditioned to avoid pain than we are of seeking pleasure. And what that means is basically, we try really hard to avoid the things that we don't like, rather than trying hard to find things that we do like. So with that in mind, I think that doing this exercise is so important, especially understanding the things that you would like to avoid in your future career, in life, or relationships. Because something that I see happening all the time is people being so desperate to change, so desperate to leave the situation that they're in, and without doing the actual exercise of understanding what they really didn't like about the job, or what they really didn't like about the relationship, or what they really didn't like about the experience, they end up jumping to another job, another relationship, another experience that doesn't end up really working out for them either.
Now, this leads me to another objection that I usually get when I give this advice. People usually say, "Well, okay, great. I know what I'm good at, and I know what I like and don't like, but I'm not really sure how I can actually create a career out of it. How can I actually make money out of it?"
Here is to actually take the time to explore where these strengths and where these interests can actually take you. Because I guarantee you, once you actually open your willingness to go out there and explore, there's going to be massive amounts of opportunities that will open up that you would have never considered had you not gone out there, done research, networked, and simply discovered what there is to offer out in the world.
A classic example of this is Steve Jobs. So Steve Jobs had this small curiosity about typefaces, and so then he enrolled in a class that taught typefaces. And at the time, it seemed incredibly useless, but through learning about typefaces, he actually learned about design. And having an aptitude for design, years later, this strong understanding for design through that useless typeface course actually became an integral part of Apple, and his sensitivity to design to this day is what makes Apple stand out in the marketplace.
So what I'm trying to say here with the Steve Jobs example is to stop feeling the need to lock yourself down to the first thing that you try, and to especially stop punishing yourself when the first thing that you try, or the first thing that you discover, doesn't really work out for you. To put into more simpler terms, think about relationships. Think about the first person that you date. Are you expected to marry the very first person that you end up in a relationship with? No. But the beauty of it is that for each person that you enter a relationship with, even if it doesn't work out, it leads you closer to actually marrying the one.
So what I want you to do is to use this same dating analogy and apply it to your career, apply it to your life, apply it to finding your passion. Because the thing is, is that life is not built with an instruction manual. When you're born out of the womb, no one gives you a manual of what to do with your life. That is the beauty of it. You are not put on this life to know exactly what you want and to just follow a straight path. The beauty of life and why we are put on this earth is to explore every single possible thing that this world has to offer. And I personally believe that when you are in your 20s, you have the amazing freedom to do that. And so take advantage of this time and see this time of being lost as a privilege, as your permission slip to actually go out there, do the research, meet new people, try new experiences, and if it doesn't work out, then know and trust that that experience will only lead you to something even better for you to actually start beginning to narrow down exactly what is meant for you, what is your calling in life, what is your purpose in life.
So to recap, what are the three things that we learned today? The first is to change your perception about feeling lost. Rather than seeing it as a negative, start seeing it as a positive. The second thing is to learn to be more in tune with the little clues that your body is giving you in terms of what your natural strengths are, and not just the strengths that you're good at, but also the things that you're good at and enjoy doing, and also the things that you naturally don't like to do, things that weigh you down. And start carving a path by following your instincts on these strengths and these disinterests. The third thing that we learned is to explore. To actually open your mind to learning new things. And this doesn't have to be scary. It doesn't mean that you have to go to every single conference. It could be as simple as listening to a new podcast, do something that allows you to learn, that allows you to actually see what's possible for yourself and for your life.
So that's really it, guys. Those are the three things that I did that helped me become more confident in navigating this scary thing called life. And I really truly hope that you found this video helpful. If you did, please make sure to give it a thumbs up and also to subscribe to the channel if you want more. With that being said, I'll see you in the next one. And again, thanks so much for watching. Bye. [Music]